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    My Partner, Baby
    #1
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
    Portfolio of an Entertainment Blogger


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    #2
    Member Mailliw87's Avatar
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    welcome aboard Charlie!

    I'm new to contest, sort of, so nice to meet ya!
    I'm also on Moviepoet under name William Flink,
    Why must I insist on writing my name backwards?

    Scripts on MP:
    Pirouette
    Lighter
    Farewell, André


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    #3
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    And you, Maii!
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
    Portfolio of an Entertainment Blogger


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    #4
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    I think I watch a lot of 'crime' shows, huh?
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
    Portfolio of an Entertainment Blogger


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    #5
    More Cowbell Pictures Michael Anthony Horrigan's Avatar
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    Possible Spoilers


    Good script.

    Maybe one too many twist points for my liking but that's only because this is betrayal fest and I was looking for them.

    After the confrontation with the wife when things continued on it was pretty obvious that a bigger betrayal was lying in wait.

    Like I said though, probably due to the fact that I was looking for it. Had this been a generic script that crossed my path I probably never would have seen it coming.

    Very well written and you seemed to capture the crime drama genre quite well.

    Kudos.


    MAH


    MONSTERFEST : 4th Place - Sustained Excellence Award - WESTFEST: 3rd Place - THRILLFEST: 3rd Place


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    #6
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    Thanks, Mah!
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
    Portfolio of an Entertainment Blogger


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    #7
    Knight of the Holy Order krestofre's Avatar
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    I think this was well written.

    At the end I felt like something just didn't gel for me. I've thought about it for most of today and I think my issue is that I felt no sympathy for Davis. So when the twist hits it only has a surprise impact and not an emotionally resonating one. Does that make sense? Given the setup of the script that may well have been your intention, but it kind of left me not knowing which character I was supposed to hang my emotional hat on ... so to speak.
    Chris Johnson


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    #8
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    You weren't suppose to like him, but have more empathy to her, so when that happens at the end, it's not what you'd expect from her.

    Thanks for the read!
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
    Portfolio of an Entertainment Blogger


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    #9
    Knight of the Holy Order krestofre's Avatar
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    You definitely succeeded there. It was not what I expected from her.
    Chris Johnson


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    Senior Member ZazaCast's Avatar
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    Good job! I really like this kind of story cause there's room for a million kinds of betrayal. Loved the way you opened and closed the script. Again, I could really picture these characters on my minds-eye.

    I don't think the scene with the affair was even needed...we know he's a cheater, so I don't see the point. You could have just gone with the old lipstick mark on the collar...or maybe the "Tiger Woods" approach...she found a strange number on the cell phone bill! Either way seemed like the perfume was the only reason for the scene.

    Other than that...very well done!

    Typo:

    DAVIS
    No, the Ghost is always is a step
    ahead of us. Got your back-up?
    Last edited by ZazaCast; 01-11-2010 at 03:06 PM.


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