I liked this a lot. Really well-handled and the end was totally gut-wrenching so good job! The only thing I would say is there is a lot of exposition in the dialogue at the start and this feels a little unnatural -I would say you dont need a lot if it - cut as much as you can and be subtler where you can and this will feel a lot more real. You pack a lot of punch in so few pages though - nice work!
Thread: TOUCHED - A script by Ben Sliker
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01-17-2010 03:31 PM
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Senior Member
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- Aug 2007
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01-20-2010 02:08 PM
Very well done. I really like the way you structured this story. I was expecting the script to go in a different direction, so I didn't see the end coming. Good job.
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01-29-2010 06:08 PM
Congrats! nice work!
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