I liked this a lot. Really well-handled and the end was totally gut-wrenching so good job! The only thing I would say is there is a lot of exposition in the dialogue at the start and this feels a little unnatural -I would say you dont need a lot if it - cut as much as you can and be subtler where you can and this will feel a lot more real. You pack a lot of punch in so few pages though - nice work!
Thread: TOUCHED - A script by Ben Sliker
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01-17-2010 03:31 PM
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