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    #21
    Senior Member MML's Avatar
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    Well you connected with me. This story has stuck in my head since I read it. Especially the last two scenes intertwined...just heartbreaking.

    Awesome.


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    #22
    Senior Member Russell Moore's Avatar
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    Thanks again MML...I'm touched that the script had that kind of impact. I sincerely appreciate it.
    the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"

    Need a short script?
    Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.

    screenwriter75@yahoo.com


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    #23
    Senior Member MrKilloran's Avatar
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    Well then, I'm thoroughly depressed, what a sucker-punch of a script! This one's sticking with me for sure.


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    #24
    Senior Member Russell Moore's Avatar
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    Well then, I'm thoroughly depressed, what a sucker-punch of a script! This one's sticking with me for sure.
    Kill - thanks for reading and commenting. I think you liked it? lol
    the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"

    Need a short script?
    Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.

    screenwriter75@yahoo.com


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    #25
    Senior Member MrKilloran's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by conlanforever View Post
    Kill - thanks for reading and commenting. I think you liked it? lol


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    #26
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    That was a pretty messed up story. Your betrayal was definitely one of the most disturbing ones in this fest. One thing I would have liked to have seen was more of the relationship between Buck and Gil. I think that you could have shortened the scene with Gil's family and used the time to develop Buck and Gil more. Still, in the time that you did use for this story, you made it gripping and haunting. It'll definitely be one I won't forget. Good job.


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    #27
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    I saw the stars on the thread. I knew this was going to be good. I knew going in that it was going to be a man betraying the relationship with his dog. It took me two days to decide to finally read it. I was afraid of how it was going to make me feel.

    I wanted Buck to jump out of that pit. I wanted him to kill the Pit Bull. I hated, absolutely HATED how Gil patted the porch and made Buck come to him and seal his fate.

    Okay - I admit, I didn't tear up during the read, but I'm doing it now, just remembering it. Grr! And he used Buck's collar as a tourniquet - shame on you, Gil!

    I could so see this as a smaller part to a feature.

    Very evocative writing - thanks for the good read!


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    #28
    Senior Member Russell Moore's Avatar
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    KH - Its a balancing act with these short scripts, trying to figure out what is essential and what isn't. I'm glad I got enough of Gil and Buck's relationship that the script still had an impact on you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

    vallie - and thank you for the good comments. The scene when Gil gets Buck to come up on the porch is similar to how I play with my own dog, so it had a bit of my own life in it as well. For the record, I hate it when Gil does it too. lol
    the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"

    Need a short script?
    Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.

    screenwriter75@yahoo.com


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    #29
    Senior Member arroway's Avatar
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    This was my favorite script of the fest.

    I am shocked (to put it mildly) that anyone could read this and not see the betrayal. I can't think of another script in the fest where the betrayal is more overt.

    The rubber bands he snaps to remind him of the other people he's betrayed in the past...

    The dog collar being used for a tourniquet...

    The drug dealer being legitimately surprised when he comes back with the ten dollars...

    Both story and dialog were very believable.

    I would suggest if you haven't already to read "The Crossing" by Cormac Mccarthy which deals with similar subject matter.


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    #30
    Senior Member Russell Moore's Avatar
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    arroway - Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I appreciate the favorable review, there were some very good scripts in this fest. From your notes, I'm happy to see I struck the right chords with certain elements of the script.

    I have not read "The Crossing", but I'll certainly take your advice, I'm always looking for something good to read, thanks.
    the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"

    Need a short script?
    Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.

    screenwriter75@yahoo.com


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