this is my second college film- let me know what you think. Tips? Advice?
Thread: second college film-check it out
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12-03-2009 06:38 AMAvery WinGate Lanman
Yale University '13
12-03-2009 06:46 AM
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
I feel like a cigarette
Good job. It was a little confusing though. I think you were jumping back and forth in time a little too much.
I was with you right up to 04:09, then he's back sitting on the road? I love non-linear, Tarantino-esq
narrative, but you lost me at the end.
Regarding my cigarette comment above - His smoking did seem very contrived (he's a killer, so he must smoke).
You might want to consider trying something different that will add to the complexity of the villain. For example,
if he chewed Nicorette gum, he's now "the killer who is trying to quit smoking". Much more interesting.
Those are just my 2 frames. Keep up the good work.
Last edited by Peter Reynolds; 12-03-2009 at 07:05 AM.
12-03-2009 07:10 AM
- Join Date
- May 2009
Ill have to watch the whole thing later, but AWESOME job on designing the opening shots and camera movement. Wow, probably one of the best examples of this ive seen on DVX to date. How did you do it? What steady cam setup?
What camera did you use? I was a little distracted by no music in the opening sequence?
Ok, man i watched the rest.
Wow, where should i start?
Well, the begginnig was OUTSTANDING (Aside from the rather odd and really awful lack of sound in the first 30 seconds or so? ) Good planned shots, good acting, i really like your main actor, he had a good sense of delivery and a good look.
Then, it all fell to pieces. Your music starts and it still looks good, and im really getting into it, and then it jst switches to subtitling? Did you not have a script? Did they say the lines poorly? Did your sound get messed up somehow? Even bad sound would arguable be better than that, iuno. It was really distracting and then im guessnig you started running out of daylight, because it gets more and more grainy as it goes on. Eventually its just full of tons and tons of grain and still no audio.
I was a little confused about what the motivation was for the last scene but it went ok.
Man, you really had a very strong start and crashed from there, but the good news is you have some good skills and some writing and shooting abilities. Id say go re-shoot the second half and you can really have something special here.
Even with the horrible things that plagued the last half id still say i liked it, the beginning was that good.
Your on the right track. I know as well as anyone that once you lose daylight, time with your actors, etc... that you have to improvise sometimes, but id really say it would be worth it to try to get them (even if you get them seperately) and redo part of this (or even just re-dub the sound)
Keep it comming, i see this as a step in the right direction and a good learning experience for you. Def some improved elements from your first piece.
Last edited by jonE5; 12-04-2009 at 06:30 AM.