Thread: Zombies (?)

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    Zombies (?)
    #1
    Senior Member Captain Pierce's Avatar
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    Logline: There's a time and a place for everything, and this isn't it.

    This is not happening. Please tell me this is not happening. Please tell me that you are not sitting here having a hissy fit about proper terminology in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.
    Okay, so this was inspired by a discussion that happened in the original MonsterFest thread, before the official rules went up, about the nature of zombies and their evolution in film.

    It's short, not quite three full pages, and the main reason for that is that I was going for a Kevin Smith, dialogue-heavy, kind of vibe with this and (since I first thought about trying to do this myself, and once I'd determined it was probably beyond me, tried to find a home for it via the MonsterFest collaboration forum) I did keep running time in mind. (And yes, I do remember that I've said before that running time shouldn't be a factor in a ScriptFest. ) Also, there's the fact that I have never actually seen a zombie movie, and I really haven't had time to do any research on them, so I guess I was hoping that, if it found a home, the person making it would help flesh out the movie references based on their own preferences.

    Read it here.
    Last edited by Captain Pierce; 09-14-2009 at 07:00 PM.
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    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Did you take my argument about the virus things not being zombies and make a screenplay out of it?


    Super Spoiler Alert.....


    I'm right dammit. Those things in '28 days later' weren't zombies. You know what is really funny. I worked on a group feature about a slob uncle and his paraplegic pron addicted teen nephew must fight monsters to save their town. And I wrote a whole scene where the kid debates his uncle about what a real zombie is while they are being chased by them. It's always an entertaining discussion.
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    #3
    Senior Member MrKilloran's Avatar
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    Short but funny, good dialogue between the two, got a good sense of their friendship and survival. Nice work


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    #4
    Senior Member DarkElastic's Avatar
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    Hi Captain, thanks for the read.

    Yes, short but sweet. Great dialogue, enough action for this length.

    Not happy about the attack on 28 Day Later, I thought it was an excellent film, zombies or not!!! ;-)

    It would be nice if they look up from the car and an entire horde of zombies are there waiting, as if they have been waiting for the conversation to be finished.

    Overall, a very good short. Well done.


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    Writer/Producer


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    Senior Member Tim Joy's Avatar
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    Great dialog. Had me laughing pretty good, felt natural, and would be fun for actors. It was over before I wanted it to be. so that's good.

    I think this is an example of a perfect idea for a short script, because it's really only about one tiny thing, 'what makes a zombie?'
    Many writers (myself included) try to write a feature-length story in 6-pages, always ending up with mediocre results. Think smaller, people!

    I liked how you established the situation, with all of its intensity, the just let them talk.

    Highly rated from me.


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    Senior Member arroway's Avatar
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    He brings up his gun, takes
    a shot, misses, but it’s enough to scare the zombie back.
    whaaaaaaat? a zombie getting scared back by someone shooting at it? That's like a vegetarian vampire or a quadriplegic slasher villain...completely antithetical.

    JASON
    They’re not zombies.
    Oh thank god...


    JASON
    And that’s another thing! Zombies
    aren’t caused by viruses. It’s
    something supernatural, voodoo or
    some shi*. poo pooin' Resident Evil
    started that whole virus thing.
    Not to out-nerd Jason but there were many instances of viruses, or at least science, being the zombie catalyst long before the first resident evil. Peter Jackson's "Braindead" had zombies that were caused by a monkey virus. Even in Romero's penultimate zombie flick "Night of the Living Dead" radiation was the alluded to culprit. In the "Night of the Living Dead" series it was an airborne toxin...

    JASON
    I don’t know. I'll have to think
    about it, I guess. They’re just...
    not zombies.
    lol

    They start reloading again. Just then, they hear the inhuman
    growl again.
    Repetition of "again".


    I liked this a lot. What I think could improve it is some intercutting between them having their argument and the zombies converging on them until finally they hear a noise and realize they're surrounded.

    I also think it would be funny if after a brief credit scroll it cuts back to Jason having his brains being eaten out of the top of his skull while he sobs "They are zombies, they are zombies, they --"

    all in all a nice simple story simply told. good job.


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    #7
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    This script was entertaining. I liked the dialogue between the two characters. Good job.


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    #8
    Senior Member Captain Pierce's Avatar
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    Thanks to all who have read and commented so far.

    Quote Originally Posted by arroway View Post
    That's like a vegetarian vampire or a quadriplegic slasher villain...completely antithetical.
    Oh, c'mon... a vampire is only after your blood, not your flesh, so one could technically be vegetarian. To be vegan, I guess they could only drink the blood of plants, though... And you've just ruined my idea for Freddie vs. Jason vs. Stephen Hawking...

    Not to out-nerd Jason but there were many instances of viruses, or at least science, being the zombie catalyst long before the first resident evil. Peter Jackson's "Braindead" had zombies that were caused by a monkey virus. Even in Romero's penultimate zombie flick "Night of the Living Dead" radiation was the alluded to culprit. In the "Night of the Living Dead" series it was an airborne toxin...
    I did not know that. Obviously.

    Repetition of "again".
    Good catch, that is pretty clumsy there.

    I liked this a lot. What I think could improve it is some intercutting between them having their argument and the zombies converging on them until finally they hear a noise and realize they're surrounded.
    I thought about this, actually, but I was hoping to make the audience forget about the zombies just as the characters do.

    I also think it would be funny if after a brief credit scroll it cuts back to Jason having his brains being eaten out of the top of his skull while he sobs "They are zombies, they are zombies, they --"
    That's not a bad idea. Either that, or both of them having their brains eaten, and Steve asking, "Now do you believe they're zombies?" "Well, admittedly, the eating of brains is a classic zombie trait, but..."
    Last edited by Captain Pierce; 09-17-2009 at 05:19 PM.
    The Plinkett Equation:

    TOS16 + TNG5 + DS94 + VOY11 + ENT 8
    __________________________________________________ = History is changing every 23 millionths of a second

    F649 + Alp987 + Bet934 + Gam764 + Del837 * 100,000,000,000


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    #9
    Senior Member arroway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Pierce View Post
    That's not a bad idea. Either that, or both of them having their brains eaten, and Steve asking, "Now do you believe their zombies?" "Well, admittedly, the eating of brains is a classic zombie trait, but..."
    That's even better! do it!


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    #10
    Senior Member Rustom Irani's Avatar
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    I left a note about this in the viewing thread...

    For some weird reason your script won't open up in Adobe and it gives me an error. I'd love to be able to read it and vote on it.
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