Techincal - the first few action paragraphs could have been said with less words, get to the point quicker. a manner of disgusting wrench... I am not sure what this is doing inside a parenthetical?

I don't think a poodle can saunter.

Your next set of action paragraphs and the lavatory again are overdone, keep it simple and to the point.

Why is goo always green? Why? Why? Why?

Going straight to content: I got really confused, there was so much description like prose and so much going on that I couldn't get a clear story or a visual story in my head. I don't know what spiders had to do with the dogs?

I don't understand much of the story how he survived the first attack or was that an attack?

I dunno, I think this was one that had too many things going on at once without a clear definition of motive or understanding of the situation.