Thread: Ed Reck

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. Collapse Details
    Ed Reck
    #1
    Senior Member REHov520's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    Posts
    164
    Default
    Logline: Life for the Reck family gets messy when their newborn son comes into contact with some nasty toxic waste.
    Last edited by REHov520; 09-06-2009 at 02:58 PM.


    Reply With Quote
     

  2. Collapse Details
    #2
    Senior Member DarkElastic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Perth, Western Australia
    Posts
    843
    Default
    Sounds like a blast!


    Marshall Dean

    Writer/Producer


    Reply With Quote
     

  3. Collapse Details
    #3
    Senior Member Rustom Irani's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Bombay, India
    Posts
    159
    Default
    This sounds like a great monster/creature flick with campiness to boot. Can't wait to read it.


    Reply With Quote
     

  4. Collapse Details
    #4
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Posts
    1,957
    Default
    Hah, Loved this little family tale. I can see you weren't intending for this to be shot. But even if this was a cartoon it would still have a ghoulish effect. Heck this reminds me a short in 'Heavy Metal'. Good Job!
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
    ______________________________________________
    Samurai ScriptFest: A Dream of Electric Revolution (1st Place)
    Suspense ScriptFest: A Clockwork Darkened(2nd Place)
    Trapped ScriptFest: Trapped (3rd Place)


    Reply With Quote
     

  5. Collapse Details
    #5
    Senior Member DarkElastic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Perth, Western Australia
    Posts
    843
    Default
    I enjoyed the read REHov,

    Spoilers below:




    I liked the whole situation and the innocent being given immense power. Without the knowledge of rules I could totally believe he would do what he did.
    Some the dialogue when Lars comes home needs a little work for me. I know time played a factor in this, but i am more than positive that the car crash would still hurt and take her a bit of time to recover enough to move to her husband's side.

    Good stuff mate, well done.


    Marshall Dean

    Writer/Producer


    Reply With Quote
     

  6. Collapse Details
    #6
    Senior Member MrKilloran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Rhode Island
    Posts
    559
    Default
    I liked it, has an Oedipus quality to it.

    The pacing felt off, the first half of the script is a little slow. Also the mother seems to show no concern what-so-ever that her child is covered in this green liquid, just cuts to that night when her husband gets home. I think family dynamics are there but could be explored in greater detail.

    You wrote the climax well, simple glimpses of the child and the car crash, it was exciting. Also, it makes the father a bit more dastardly. He's so quick to shoot, not even a brief moment of compassion or restraint.

    an expression of pure, childlike innocence on his blood-covered face.
    I really enjoyed that image, a baby taking simple pleasure in its mother and the mutilation of the father, that's twisted but kind of great at the same time.


    Reply With Quote
     

  7. Collapse Details
    #7
    Senior Member Troy Ruff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Fresno
    Posts
    616
    Default
    wow, I really liked this read, the hick family, this would be a really fun film to make. I hope all goes well with your filming Good Luck
    Troy Ruff | Director/Producer
    Check out my new site! www.ruffproductions.net
    email: ruff_troy@yahoo.com


    Reply With Quote
     

  8. Collapse Details
    #8
    Senior Member arroway's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    528
    Default
    After reading "toxic waste" and "tomato garden" I immediately thought there would be a tomato monster...

    I like the exchange between mother and father over Ed's quietness.

    LARS
    You heard about the spill, I
    imagine?

    JANICE
    Yeah, itís all over the news.
    It was "all over" her kid! LOL This would be a great place for a joke. "Yeah, it was all over...The News. It was just dripping...all over the news."

    Ed inches forward, a long line of drool dangling from his mouth.
    Perfect opportunity for a "first steps" gag here. One of the parents could be like "WHAT THE F*CK?" and the other one could be like "Oh honey, his first steps! Get the camera! He's walking!"


    Edís eyes wander around the room until they settle on Lars
    guarding Janice, when they narrow with purpose.
    lol

    He slowly smiles, that singular expression of pure,
    utter joy that only a baby can make.
    Very nice writing.

    Janice is thrust into her seat belt while Lars goes
    careening through the windshield and 20 feet down the road.
    Panicked, Janice runs to her husband. He lays still.
    IMO, that seems like too much action to pack into three lines.

    Seems to end prematurely.

    All in all, I thought it was great! A monster baby is a great idea. I didn't like that it spoke however, I think that took something away from it. I also thought it would have been cool if you had done something with breast feeding. How is a ten month old baby going to eat? It's still going to want to breast feed. Seeing as how sick and depraved this script already is why not just go for broke and have the giant baby breast-feed-rape it's own mother, perhaps crushing her in the process? Oedipus complex gone exponentially wrong...


    Reply With Quote
     

  9. Collapse Details
    #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    173
    Default
    This was a fun read! I loved the scene where Janice and Lars are talking and Ed's hands start to grow. To me, it seemed to have a Return of the Living Dead feel to it, which I really liked! I did feel like you could improve upon some of the dialogue and I would have liked to seen Janice's reaction to Ed being covered in the ooze. It also felt like you had more of a back story for Lars and he was trying to be redeemed at the very end.

    Great job on the script! I'd love to see it once shot.


    Reply With Quote
     

  10. Collapse Details
    #10
    Senior Member Captain Pierce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    I'm from Iowa--I only work in outer space
    Posts
    1,483
    Default
    So, this is what you get if you take Sophocles and a DVD box set of 1950's atomic monster movies and throw them in a blender. And I mean that as a compliment.

    This was a fun read. My only real criticism would be along the same lines as what MrKilloran and arroway have said; not only do we not see any concern from Janice about Ed being in the ooze, but I really didn't get why Janice wasn't saying anything to Lars about Ed being in the ooze. All we get is the line about it not being safe for Ed there. But you have some great descriptions in the script that really help set the scene.
    The Plinkett Equation:

    TOS16 + TNG5 + DS94 + VOY11 + ENT 8
    __________________________________________________ = History is changing every 23 millionths of a second

    F649 + Alp987 + Bet934 + Gam764 + Del837 * 100,000,000,000


    Reply With Quote
     

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •