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    #11
    Senior Member ramsaur's Avatar
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    Sound at beginning in car was a little hard to hear. Your title came in too quick. Did you use more than one camera on this film? Like when the girl is sniping and it cuts back to the guy on the phone the quality changes.


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    #12
    Actor!!!!!! Tom Marshall's Avatar
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    Hey Brian, I liked the concept behind this one. It kept me engaged till the end.

    I liked your Mexico montage a lot. Very cool and the opening titles fit in really well with your sequence.

    What really took me out of it were the performances. The acting was really flat throughout the whole time. Some of the lighting could have been better too at times.

    A good, solid entry...
    Actor / Musician


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    #13
    Senior Member stinkpot's Avatar
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    Good deal! Welcome to the fest.

    -
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    #14
    Senior Member Brian Parker's Avatar
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    ramsaur - Yeah, I'm still tooling around the audio I was struggling with getting good sound. And yeah, there was more than one camera used but it was primarily a Canon XH-A1, the main reason being that I didn't have it in Mexico. Thanks for the feedback man!

    Tom - Thanks man. If it kept you engaged to the end then I'm happy. I get caught up in the logistical aspect of the filmmaking process and the performances suffer so I definately want to improve on that area. I really want to be an actor's director. Thanks for checking it out and giving me the feedback.

    stinkpot - Thanks. I'm here for my lumps. Glad to be a part of the whole magical DVXUser Fest thing.


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    #15
    Senior Member ~jai~'s Avatar
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    I really like crime/drama/thriller/suspense movies, so I was excited to watch this one. Honestly, I was a little disappointed. The sound in a lot of the film was really bad (car, pay phone, last scene room) with the hiss being very distracting. This was an ambitious story to take on, but I don't think the time limit gave you the length to do it justice. You had a lot of extraneous stuff going on here that really could have been lost (the comic sequence in the beginning, Jerry's cut-away) and I'm still not sure what happened in the end. Did they buy the diamonds? I'm seriously guessing that the girl in the end stole the diamonds from you, but are you guys buying them back or something? What's in the backpack? Your partner's character (portrayed by Quin) was the most interesting, could have used more of her. I didn't really care about anyone in the film though. Because the rest of the film is so up in the air confusing and full of too much, the ending loses it dramatic tension to me. I didn't feel anyone's need to do or get anything. Would really have liked to see the energy from all the actors ramped up four or five notches. I mean, what happens if he doesn't get the diamonds? Why is she (Quin) so interested, what's her stake in all this? Why does Hannah meet Quin? What is she losing by giving up the diamonds? Right now the performances are lacking and the script needs reworking and fine tuning.

    I applaud you, and anyone who takes the time and effort to make a film and has the courage to share it with the world. I seriously thank you for sharing and pray for success on your future films! I hope to see more from you!



    Jaimyon Parker
    Actor/Writer
    jaimyon@jaimyon.com
    http://www.jaimyon.com


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    #16
    Unscripted Mod Erik Olson's Avatar
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    This one kind of confounded me in the execution. It was all over the place from a style standpoint. You've got the Ocean's inspired opening sequence, which doesn't carry through the film. It establishes Mexico, but I don't know why. The flashback work and comic panels had me really taken out of whatever the story was. By the end, you've got a the payback scene that plays more like a short film ending.

    It's difficult to put it all on screen in such a short amount of time and I think this brand of storytelling and style might have been a really challenging way of going about it. Sometimes, simple is better.
    Erik Olson



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    #17
    Senior Member Brian Parker's Avatar
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    jai - Thanks for all the honest feedback. Yeah, the film is kind of all over the place and my intention was for it to be more concise and clear. One of the things that I lost in there somewhere was the sense of really guiding the audience along the story and explaining it to them. I'm going to have to step back and rework my process to allow more focus on the storytelling process. Thanks for taking the time to watch!

    Erik - Yeah, it's just because there were too many angles I wanted to try. I like the Ocean's movies but I wanted a bit more drama, and my animator's brain often steps into the filmmaking process so things got a little jumbled. Going to have to focus more next time. Thanks for the feedback!


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    #18
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    Nice overall film. I appreciated that each location had its own “look” - color, camera work, ambiance. I like the hallucination effects. I would have liked a scene with Jerry, though, rather than just looking at him. Less time on opening credits/Mexico montage, and more time with some kind of struggle the character has to go through. It all comes to him too easily. I wanna see him earn it!


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    #19
    Senior Member DarkElastic's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
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    Perth, Western Australia
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    Hi Champloo,

    I enjoyed your film and agree with the comments about different styles and especially the sound... with the music being good and the montages being well edited, I did dread coming back to the live action and the sound.
    The story was nothing fresh, but I did like the little animation section, brightened the whole movie. Always good to have sexy ladies involved and the acting was generally good.
    Keep up the good work.


    Marshall Dean

    Writer/Producer


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    #20
    Senior Member Susanne G.'s Avatar
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    Berlin
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    The concept is clever and I never will forget 'Just at work'. This is the sentence of the fest.

    Susanne


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