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    #21
    Unscripted Mod Erik Olson's Avatar
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    I enjoyed the concept of this one. As a first effort, it works very well without the dialogue. The cinematography is rough with lighting on the interiors really making it look amateur. Little things like the pan and crop graphics work could be smoothed-out for better viewing.

    Once he's on the ground, the camera work is a little more appropriate. Kind of the Bourne style. You used this to build more tension in the piece and I might've pushed it a little more. The shot of the girl in the swimsuit is a distraction - unless it is meant to be her?

    Music really didn't work for me. Just too "library" / synth-heavy for my personal taste and it didn't cut into the film very well.

    Locations were fantastic! Noticed that Dr. Henry Jones makes an appearance at 2:30 - sweet cameo!

    e
    Erik Olson



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    #22
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    Hey ... first of all .. thank you very mush ... stopping and writing this ... I appreciate a lot.
    On the Acting you're spot-on ... i had no actors and had to act myself ... and as you can see i'm a lousy actor ... obviously ... next time I will try to find actors at least ...
    Now on the Girl in the split screen ... I didn't manage to get my idea across clearly ... (bad film making from my part ... will try to improve) ... but it was meant ... as he is walking / searching he is remembering her (from last summer) ... and at first she is totally blurred ... and the blur is reducing from shot to shot ... and in the last shot there is only a little blur ... sort of remembering her more...but obviously ... it wasn't done good enough as it was not understood...
    As for the calendar you might be right ... it was an extra part (and maybe even it doesn't make sense) ... and on second thought it just does not add anything to the short ... and so it detracts ...

    anyway ... thanks again .. for the thoughts ... cheers


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    #23
    Senior Member Brian Parker's Avatar
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    Not bad for a first film. Great location. You got some pretty interesting shots too. The music was kind of distracting but I get what you were going for. I understood the story so everything was cool with that. For a first film, I say not bad at all! Keep 'em coming.


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    #24
    Junior Member sean156's Avatar
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    I loved the locations you used, they gave the film a unique, exotic look. The editing techniques (i.e. the calendar/the split screen) worked well for me. They spiced things up. I personally enjoyed the silence of the short.

    On the whole, I didn't think the short needed to be as long as it did. The protagonist spent the bulk of the film looking around, and we didn't get a satisfying enough payoff at the end. Also, some of the music seemed out of place and canny. A solid first effort. Keep on making movies!


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    #25
    Actor!!!!!! Tom Marshall's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girgej View Post
    Hey ... first of all .. thank you very mush ... stopping and writing this ... I appreciate a lot.
    On the Acting you're spot-on ... i had no actors and had to act myself ... and as you can see i'm a lousy actor ... obviously ... next time I will try to find actors at least ...
    Now on the Girl in the split screen ... I didn't manage to get my idea across clearly ... (bad film making from my part ... will try to improve) ... but it was meant ... as he is walking / searching he is remembering her (from last summer) ... and at first she is totally blurred ... and the blur is reducing from shot to shot ... and in the last shot there is only a little blur ... sort of remembering her more...but obviously ... it wasn't done good enough as it was not understood...
    As for the calendar you might be right ... it was an extra part (and maybe even it doesn't make sense) ... and on second thought it just does not add anything to the short ... and so it detracts ...

    anyway ... thanks again .. for the thoughts ... cheers
    An idea for the shots of the girl... instead of having it blurred less and less, start by showing shots of her body at first, like her arm on his or something. Then, as you show more of her, show more of her body, like up to her chin for longer, then finally show her face at the end...
    Actor / Musician


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    #26
    Senior Member Lawsuit_Boy's Avatar
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    This is an intriguing film on a number of different levels. I really like the idea of seeing this man seeking out a woman of great value in his life after being sent a photo of the two together. It's obvious that time has been spent apart from this woman, and the thrill of the chase, so to speak, is always one to pull a person in.

    I think it's a very interesting approach to this kind of film to take essential shots and use them almost like still photos. It works in relation to the key element (the photo) in creating a scrapbook of the journey. This is obvious with instances like the months passing by on the calender and the following shots of an airplane and the "arrivals" sign. There are moments in the film though in which I feel as if sometimes, this might not be entirely intentional. This might just be a technical misfire somewhere in the actual editing or in the compression for web streaming. But, the truth is that it can be unsettling to some.

    I also agree with others that the locations benefited the film exponentially. However, the cinematography itself doesn't quite lend to the warm, excitingly foreign terrain that the character explores. A lot of the images are washed and blown out while others are exposed well. What I DO like about the cinematography at times is that it's unassuming and inoffensive in the way that it reveals, quite simply, a man seeking a great friend/companion of his. Some of the shots really allow the locations to drench the viewer in a tangible reality of foreign curiosities and culture.

    I really felt, though, as if the music had just too much precedence over the images the audience sees. There are solid shots within this piece, and I feel like a more subtle and deliberate score would have brought the film up to a new level; a bit of music that allows the audience to find a myriad of emotions and sentiments that one might possibly experience during a quaint journey to a different country.

    In regards to editing to the pace of the music around the 3 minute marker, I wasn't quite a fan of that. It brings a lot of attention to the actual cutting of the film and detaches the audience a little. It worked with the calenders changing, but at this point, it just seems a little forced. Perhaps if there were just a few less quick cuts in this section, you could keep some of the cutting on the beats while still maintaining that sense of temporal ellipsis that elevates the anticipation.

    I feel as if the split screen segment was a fine way to depict, in a short amount of time, all of the activities the character participated in from that point-on in order to find his destination. Keep in mind though (for future references, really) that split screen in four quadrants tends to overload the viewer if not done carefully. I didn't feel overloaded at all, but it's something that some filmmakers overlook when they use the technique.

    The film does not come without hiccups (like the odd sound choice that cuts in and out when he finds her place), but it certainly knew where it wanted to go, and that's one of the most important things in filmmaking. Nice work.


    *Saturday Audience Choice Award--Canton Palace Theatre International Film Festival


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    #27
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    Hard to stay with the film. I love silent films - Im trying to get my students to appreciate them for their pure focus on visual storytelling. But this one meanders a bit much. It could use some overall tightening. Things finally pick up and get going at a good pace once hes out and about with the map, and then we stay stuck in the four way split screen. I like what you are attempting there, but it gets too static. Try varying the size of the frames, move them around, have one pass on top as the other slides the other way on the bottom. We get that hectic, time crunching effect and it is more visually interesting. I like ending it with ringing the doorbell. The story is about the journey not the destination.


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    #28
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    Hey .. thanks for the Interest & Posts ... your comments / opinions vary a lot ... but that means a lot ... everyone found something they enjoyed / appreciated, obviosly this comes with the sad fact that everyone found a lot of things they disliked ... I don't think i will go back to edit on this one ... but will try and enter another contest and will try to improve on all the aspects you mentioned ... As a second effort (film), I will keep in mind all the faults / shortcomings you've mentioned ... so thanks a lot ... I welcome any new posts / comments / ideas ... so check me out again on any new production I might Upload / Share ... thanks again for your support ...


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    #29
    Senior Member DarkElastic's Avatar
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    Hi Girgej,

    I can't really add much to the above comments. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed it and appreciated the euro feel. The music and the editing worked really well together, especially as he climbs the steps, and I think people aren't appreciating that euro style.
    I agree that it could have been a little shorter, but still a very good effort.


    Marshall Dean

    Writer/Producer


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    #30
    Senior Member Susanne G.'s Avatar
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    I like the concept and loved the view through Malta. I spent ones my holidays there and remembered some places. Your film began very interesting, but the part when he tried to find the address was to long for me and I missed a conflict in the story. I am intersting in to see what you make next time.

    All the best

    Susanne


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