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    #41
    Senior Member Solomon Chase's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
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    Atlanta, Georgia
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    Nice and simple film. I liked the silent film aspect as I'm a very visual person... I made the same choice on "Nightlight".

    A couple things things:
    - The opening scene was pretty dark... could have used some lighting
    - The plane scene is jumpy.
    - The video is interlaced. Try to use "blend fields" option or convert to "progressive"
    - Shoot more closeups and cutaways (although I know this is hard when your the actor)
    - music choice could be better

    Cool location and good first effort. Hopefully with you next project you can get someone else in front of the camera so you can do more work behind it!


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    #42
    Senior Member Sarah Daly's Avatar
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    Hey great first effort - lots of good stuff here!

    From a story point of view - some tips - cut anything that doesn't push your story forward - if two scenes serve the same purpose, cut one. Although the shots where the guy is walking around searching for the place do create tension, try to build the tension with each new scene - maybe give him some kind of deadline - even just that it's getting dark, or put a new obstacle in his way as others have mentioned.

    But all this can be learned and improved - considering you had such a tiny crew, and this is your first film, very impressive stuff!!


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    #43
    Custom Title! Jeff Anderson's Avatar
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    Dec 2006
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    Oklahoma
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    Enjoyed this George, nice work.

    I just made notes while I watched so I apologize if this has already been said -
    lighting could be more dramatic in kitchen scene. Feels very flat.
    The initial guitar score is nice.
    The airplane/calendar sequence felt like it didnt fit with the pace and look and feel of everything else.
    When he gets to Malta the score changes to something that feels to secret agent-ish, thought for a minute he was going to go all Bourne on us.
    Feels a little slow as he's just walking around lost. Why not have something happen to him while he's out walking or at least let him interact with some other people - why doesnt he ask for help?
    Liked the ending - glad we didnt actually get to see them meet or even know if it was the right place necessarily.

    And congrats on your first film! Looking forward to seeing more!


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    #44
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    Cheers for a good short film to start out.
    It seemed like the story was fairly slow. It just seemed like he was walking around town for the majority of the film. Definitely try to add some other plot points that create and maintain the audience interest as well as push the story forward. I like the simple concept but felt like overall it was a little flat. But again good first short and hope you take some of the advice here for your next short. Look forward to it.


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    #45
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    Thanks very much for all the replies. I will try to keep all this in mind in my future ventures. Most probably won't make it to the next fest, because I'm competing in a local Ad Contest. See you in the near future... and thanks again.


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