pretty much everything has been covered.
i can tell you are a writer. good description ;)
blaine had it right when he said show and not tell. that's the difference between script writing and, say, short story writing. sometimes i felt more like i was reading a book.
also, i will have to re-read it, but i don't understand how willard's dad ruined raef's life.
i'm interested to see what you come up with next time.
Results 31 to 34 of 34
04-01-2009 11:23 AM
04-02-2009 09:28 AM
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Hi Jamiejay! Thanks for the feedback.
Now... Willard's Dad was the soldier who shot the deserter in the WW2 scene, and Raef's Dad was the soldier who tried to talk the deserter into coming back... yeh?
Both Dad's were 'religious'... (snake handling sect connection -Appalachians) and Raef's Dad never got over the fact that one of his Sect/brothers killed the deserter soldier without mercy - it was like a big guilt trip, ruined his life.
04-07-2009 08:45 PM
Since I am so late in getting through all the scripts, I don't have anything to comment that hasn't already been said. Besides, I am also a "newby" and couldn't really give any great advice anyway! Just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed reading your script - the snake handling in the church service scene was definitely a favorite. I used to live in East Tennessee and every now and then you would hear about someone dying trying to handle snakes. Great job on your first script!