Thread: Copperhead

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    Copperhead
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    Hi! My tale involves the Serpent Handlers of the Appalachians... and some BAAAAAD family history.


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    #2
    Senior Member TimCollins's Avatar
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    Snakes... great idea
    Timothy Collins - Writer/Director - Facebook | YouTube | IMDb | Twitter


    DREAMSPACE (Short Film) - 2nd Place @ 81st annual GCA Film Festival 2012
    Scriptfest IV: "GHOST TOWN"
    - Top 10


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    #3
    Senior Member arroway's Avatar
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    very intrigued by this concept as i was considering writing my entry about a snake handling church in the old west...

    can't wait to read it!


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    Senior Member Russell Moore's Avatar
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    Sounds like an interesting mix.
    the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"

    Need a short script?
    Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.

    screenwriter75@yahoo.com


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    #5
    Senior Member lawriejaffa's Avatar
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    Hey there - yeah this will be interesting ;) and ooh wonder when their online!?
    Feature: LORD OF TEARS - A New Legend in Horror - Pre-Order Now http://www.lordoftears.com/


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    #6
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    Hi Tim, thanks for the thumbsup on snakes - all this a bit new to me - script writing AND forums that is!!! Good Luck

    Hi Arroway... perhaps I should have left the ol' serpent handling to you! I'm sat here in bonnie Scotland where we fight our battles out using live haggis... Good Luck

    Hi Conlan... this will be my first (and possibly last) script... he-he... that is called a 'gallows laugh' by the way! Good Luck


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    Senior Member DarkElastic's Avatar
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    Hi NJPage, glad you got your script in and I hope you kept your script away from the prying Scottish eyes of your youth!!!


    Marshall Dean

    Writer/Producer


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    #8
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
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    looking forward to reading your script... snakes are always cool. ;)


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    #9
    Senior Member DarkElastic's Avatar
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    I enjoyed your script NJPage.

    I thought your dialogue was very well written and the script as a whole is very well written. I had to read it twice to read gage who everyone was, but it was a good story, spreading across ten years, with some good characters. The snakes kick arse!
    I suppose my only critism would be that it doesn't feel very western, just the small part between Raef and Willard.

    Overall, it was a good script. Well done.


    Marshall Dean

    Writer/Producer


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    #10
    Knight of the Holy Order krestofre's Avatar
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    Very unique story. I certainly never expected anything like this from the fest, but the way people use the theme of the fest to tell their own tales is something I really like about these competitions.

    In the spirit of all of us trying to improve our craft, your sluglines need some work. Example:

    EXT. TUMBLEWEED SKITTERS ACROSS A DUSTY PLAIN - DAY (1955)
    should be something like

    EXT. DUSTY PLAIN - DAY (1955)

    A tumbleweek skitters across the ground.
    It seems to me you're mixing action with slug.

    There are also some extraneous detail in the script that bogs it down a little. One example: On the second page you wrote:

    There is a tangible smell of sweat in the room
    Whereas it's nice prose, this really doesn't add anything to a script. The audience watching the movie isn't going to be able to smell anything other than popcorn. As a result it kind of muddles the script, albeit subtly. Removing extra stuff like this makes for a tighter script and easier to read.
    Chris Johnson


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