Thread: Lovecraft

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 31 to 36 of 36
  1. Collapse Details
    #31
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    359
    Default
    i reread it. still have some questions, but i still really liked it.


    Reply With Quote
     

  2. Collapse Details
    #32
    Senior Member alex whitmer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Wherever I hang my head in despair
    Posts
    1,912
    Default
    Review of Lovecraft



    Bottom of page 2

    INT. DIRTY HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
    His eyes open. He lumbers up.

    Maybe use Lovecraft’s name to make sure, that as readers, we know it’s him.

    Page 4

    neat white shirt and jacket

    This reads like the jacket is white, but I know it’s black per your description.

    This …

    He picks up the black handgun and slides it into a shoulder
    holster.

    *I’d use ‘THE’ shoulder holster since it has already been introduced.

    This …

    LOVECRAFT (V.O.)
    Yeah, they whisper sweet nothings in your
    ear. Heaven is great. A lie, of course,
    anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. Or
    like me just doesn’t care anymore.

    *Same dialogue?

    Page 5

    This is hilarious …

    LOVECRAFT
    I had some sinus troubles.

    This …

    Leather wrapped and ancient Bible

    *Do you mean leather-bound?

    Pretty clever story. Enjoyed it. Well-crafted ending that makes one think.

    Story was solid and easy to follow, no fluff. Love the dream sequence. Classic.





    Reply With Quote
     

  3. Collapse Details
    #33
    Senior Member preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    planet earth
    Posts
    485
    Default


    congrats, Chris.


    Reply With Quote
     

  4. Collapse Details
    #34
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Posts
    1,957
    Default
    Quote Originally Posted by preston View Post


    congrats, Chris.
    Thanks! I got a lot of good feedback. I think I have a clearer idea where I want to take this.


    Reply With Quote
     

  5. Collapse Details
    #35
    Senior Member Jason Sanders's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Riverside, CA
    Posts
    309
    Default
    Congrats on getting the top 10.


    Reply With Quote
     

  6. Collapse Details
    #36
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Posts
    1,957
    Default
    Thanks, now I just need to find the right person to shoot it.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
    ______________________________________________
    Samurai ScriptFest: A Dream of Electric Revolution (1st Place)
    Suspense ScriptFest: A Clockwork Darkened(2nd Place)
    Trapped ScriptFest: Trapped (3rd Place)


    Reply With Quote
     

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •