Thread: Trigger Finger

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    #41
    Senior Member Horncastle's Avatar
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    A good story, well told. I especially liked the action in the flashbacks. Leonard's dialogue was very good too. My main criticism has already been made: the length of some of the descriptions, especially in the opening scene. A very enjoyable read though - thanks.
    Jason


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    #42
    Senior Member Nektonic's Avatar
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    Fan-freaking-tastic. I loved this one. Great plot, action, description, characters. I like that you contrasted the protagonist and antagonist by having the guy stay silent while Leonard rambled on like an arrogant but intelligent leader. This is mainly and action-thriller but there is a good dosage of noir injected in there as well, mainly Leonard's dialogue.

    I can't think of anything really wrong with it. Maybe it would be cool to see the action a little more, but I like how you made the guy's assassin skills mysterious by implying a cutaway and only hearing the sounds of gunfire and death.

    The guy reminds me a bit of something like the character of Leon from The Professional, but you have your own style and voice in this that gives it a new spin.

    Even though I anticipated the twist, it happened only a little before I got to it, so that is perfectly acceptable. Although I suppose you could try to mislead the audience a little before the reveal. I don't know how but I suppose it is possible.

    Great job man. I want to see this produced in full bloody glory. Make this film now dammit!!!!!!!


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    #43
    Senior Member preston's Avatar
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    definitely one of my favs...


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