X-Elixir

[GrizzlyGuy]

Deep inside the Third Reich, American GI's Buck Masterfield and Paul Bolden take on a cadre of superhuman Nazis who are hellbent on world domination.


Hello all, this is my first post, and this will be my first screenplay. I couldn't resist the temptation to write some pulp fiction so I came out of lurk mode.

OK, gotta get back to reading the formatting chapter in "The Screenwriter's Bible" and seeing if Final Draft lives up to its billing.

[Nektonic]

Good luck. Sounds like a fun story. I'm looking forward to it.

[GrizzlyGuy]

Thanks, Nektonic!

My first draft is done, 10 pages goes by a lot quicker than I expected. The story I wanted to tell is all there, but I'm not happy with the pacing. Too slow in the beginning and rushed at the end. I'll try to correct that in my second draft.

[Nektonic]

Yeah, 10 pages can sometimes be hard to fit things into. My original attempt for the first scriptfest was way too long and had to be scrapped for something completely different. Sounds like you know what to fix though, streamline the opening and make sure there are enough details so that the ending leaves a good whallop.

Can't wait for some old-school style 1940's action. Sounds like your script will deliver it.

[GrizzlyGuy]

Can't wait for some old-school style 1940's action. Sounds like your script will deliver it.

I hope so, I tried to write a story that I thought would be typical of the pulp stories of the late 40's and early 50's. The kind that teenage boys would read and talk about out on the sandlot ball field. Clear distinction between good and evil, heroes with surreal but believable special skills, lots of action, intrigue and treachery, and some cornball adolescent humor thrown in for good measure. Then again, this is my first screenplay so please set your expectations accordingly.

I finished my second and likely final draft over the weekend. The pacing is much better than it was before and I was able to add a bit more in the way of character development. But yes, 10 pages now seems real-real short!

[Nektonic]

Sounds good Grizzly. I think you and me are going to have the over-the-top entries of this fest. But hey, it will be fun.

[pauly_the_hitman]

I dig the stories of that time so let us at it. Can't wait to see what you come up with.
Pauly

[lawriejaffa]

Hey I'm the first to review Righto!

Spoilers//

Well I have to be honest in that I found this a little too comic book for me (of course its intended as such) but it lacks the more adult comic book qualities that are so popular in the kind of pulp we see (ala sin city) or even tarantino's forthcoming ww2 movie.

As a short script I have to confess that its demands on production value just make it almost impossible for this to ever be produced and perhaps it was my producer brain ticking, but i couldnt help thinking this was a bit like a guy with a box of toys (tanks here, castles there submarines here!)

Overall its a sterling effort though and i did enjoy it overall so well done mate.

[ghalied]

Wow. Your first screenplay? That's brilliant! Probably the ending seemed a bit abrupt but I loved it anyway. Other than that I can't think of anything to add. Well done, it is a splendid effort. If this is your first effort, then you've got a big future ahead of you.

[Redcloak]

Barmy but really fun. Ending sort of had me confused I have to say.

Loved the line about playing football with your feet.

Great over-the-top Yanks rule feel, that made me laugh and yet was painfully on the nose!