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    "Escaping Copernicus" by: Jeremiah Rounds
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    Senior Member majikfraug's Avatar
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    So, I guess all the cool kids have threads for their entries. I just want to be cool too.
    Jeremiah Rounds - Filmmaker


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    Senior Member majikfraug's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, so I was done with this the beginning of July, and then forgot about it. Found out yesterday that it was supposed to be uploaded the day before. Fortunately they extended the deadline.
    Jeremiah Rounds - Filmmaker


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    Senior Member alex whitmer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by majikfraug View Post
    I just want to be cool too.
    Stop trying to fit in!



    Seriously, glad the extention helped you out. And the thread is pretty much requisite if you want feedback.

    I look forward to reading your script.

    Alex


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    Senior Member preston's Avatar
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    welcome and good luck!


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    Senior Member Captain Pierce's Avatar
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    I laughed at the description of "a deep winding down SOUND." And again at "Misch types cacophonously." I love them both.

    I enjoyed the script a lot, but I have two quibbles. The first is that it seems to end a bit abruptly--SPOILER: I think I got what you were going for, that were probably enough of the "its" that they were unlikely to be rescued, but I just felt we needed a little something more, and I'm not even sure what. The second, and this is ridiculously minor since their ranks are never mentioned in dialog, but I thought that a "midshipman" was a naval academy cadet. It seems odd that cadets would be flying a mission around a moon that hadn't been explored thoroughly enough to find the "its" yet--unless the idea was that it had been explored thoroughly, was considered safe enough to be a training area, and the "its" were coming out of nowhere. Otherwise, I'd just call them lieutenants.
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    #6
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    welcome


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    Senior Member MiataFilmSomething's Avatar
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    I liked the idea, I think it was just too hard to fit into a short film script. I can see it being expanded more.

    The story was good, but I think I wanted to see some more character development.
    Maybe a description of more character traits possibly.

    This has the chance for some great looking visuals if it were to be produced. That small ice tunnel would be an awesome setup for an intense scary environment.
    "...and knowing is half the battle. The other half is violence..."


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    Senior Member MrKilloran's Avatar
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    It feels like The Decent and The Thing meet H.P. Lovecraft, and thats just awesome. Cool visuals and had some nice claustrophobic moments.


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    Senior Member Russell Moore's Avatar
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    I like the set up of the script a lot. The claustrophobic feel of the tunnel. The part where Wendel is outside the ship. You created some cool visuals, including the creatures.
    I liked the relationship between the two characters.

    Good adventure script with some exciting moments.
    the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"

    Need a short script?
    Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.

    screenwriter75@yahoo.com


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    #10
    Senior Member majikfraug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiataFilmSomething View Post
    I liked the idea, I think it was just too hard to fit into a short film script. I can see it being expanded more.

    The story was good, but I think I wanted to see some more character development.
    Maybe a description of more character traits possibly.

    This has the chance for some great looking visuals if it were to be produced. That small ice tunnel would be an awesome setup for an intense scary environment.
    Thanks! Trust me, the character descriptions were there . . . and added about another page to the screenplay
    Jeremiah Rounds - Filmmaker


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