It's all fun and games until someone is exsanguinated.
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08-11-2008 05:59 AM
Last edited by agalla1; 08-11-2008 at 03:50 PM. Reason: poster addition
08-11-2008 07:01 AM
- Join Date
- May 2008
- The Bahamas
liking it already!
08-11-2008 04:55 PM
I'm a sucker for exsanguination. (nudgenudgewinkwink)"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." ~T. Leary
08-11-2008 07:56 PM
08-12-2008 08:03 AM
And that was an awesome pun, by the way."Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." ~T. Leary
08-14-2008 09:18 PM
Great writing! You can't go wrong with vampires... (not even in 30 days of night despite how ridiculous it was, it was still entertaining to me)... and you definitely have the Anne Rice thing down. The entire script flowed easily and it was easy to follow. I'm glad he felt remorse at the end. Using the title "Pawn" was great foreshadowing of how they used Claudius for their own agenda.
If you had more pages, it would've been great to Claudius and Fiona together before he is attacked to develop their relationship and to make his remorse even more apparent in the end.