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    #21
    Senior Member RodThompson's Avatar
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    Well, better doesn't seem to be the consensus view. Lol.





    SPOILER
    I'm plagued by the suicide. After reading it a few times over, it just feels...weird. The contradiction of suicide being a sin, but instead a way out of damnation? See where I'm going with this.

    Hmmm....gonna have to think about this one for a few.


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    #22
    Senior Member Captain Pierce's Avatar
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    The "suicide as a way out of damnation" thing works on the first read, but then it starts to break down the more you think about it.

    The way I'd approach it, I guess, would be to look at it as a way out of the contract, not necessarily damnation. As Satan says, the test is just his first step, and as Rice goes along, he may well come to regret not just sticking with the contract...

    Interesting script, if a page-and-a-half too long...
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    #23
    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    Some of the best dialogue I have read this fest. Pitty about the going over thing.
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    #24
    Senior Member arroway's Avatar
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    at first i was confused why satan was cavorting with a field of grain before realizing rice is a character.

    i think the first shot should be of the woman and the dying child. simply hearing someone coughing than a woman crying i don't think will be enough when viewed.

    in any case, great first scene. best opener of the fest hands down.

    satan puts out his cigarette...
    he's been smoking?

    overall...that was poo pooing great! i absolutely loved it. one of the most charismatic satan's ever! best dialog i've read so far. you could film this tomorrow for nothing and it would still be great.

    at the end after he claps his hands and says "bravo. bravo" i think he should scream "drinks on me!" as everyone in the bar stares transfixed at the blood and brains leaking out into the floor and it cuts immediately to credits.

    great script.


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    #25
    Senior Member RodThompson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Pierce View Post
    The "suicide as a way out of damnation" thing works on the first read, but then it starts to break down the more you think about it.
    My AD called me on the road the other day with a new ending that will drive this ting more into the deeper realms of Twilight Zone loving...so stand by.

    ...one of the most charismatic satan's ever! best dialog i've read so far.
    I tried to find a Satan that I would trust...kind of guy who could make you believe 2+2=5 and then feel dumb for ever thinking it was 4. In the new ending, this is really brought to the forefront of the moral.


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