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    #21
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    A perfect story for a perfect script!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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    #22
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
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    mjjason-

    I'm actually not sure what school was like during fairy tale times. That's a good question. But, as castles and villages and school houses did all exist at the same time at some point in history, the setting of this story would be then

    I was wondering when someone would get around to asking about the original fairy tale.

    I really wanted to go more in the direction of fantasy than sci fi and I was thinking of all the fairy tales that hadn't had too much exposure and I thought of Rumpelstiltskin. It occurred to me that it was an odd fairy tale where characters do things that make very little sense and I wanted to add a backstory that would explain things a little. If you have never read it, here is a link for you to do so if you would like to. It's very short and it would clarify some things

    http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/r...kin/index.html

    If you don't feel like reading it, here are a few of the connections to the story:

    1. A miller brags to the king that his daughter can spin straw into gold (and the king locks her in a room with gold and a spinning wheel and threatens to kill her if she doesn't do it)
    -I thought, why would her father do that?

    2. Rumpelstiltskin spins the gold for her three times and she takes the credit (I made it that he was in love with her). The first time, she gives him her necklace as payment (which I added in my script and made that act of giving him back the jewelry almost cruel on her part... since she now hated him and all...also, him accepting a silly necklace when he has the ability to spin gold didn't make sense, but him loving her fixed that in my mind). Second, she gives him her ring (also from my script). Third, she promises him her first born child because the king will kill her if she doesn't spin the straw.

    3. The king marries the daughter after the third time she spins the gold. (I referenced this when Muriel says she wants to marry king someday)

    4. In the fairy tale, Rumpelstiltskin comes to get her first born and she offers him all the riches in the world, which he refuses because a life is more valuable (which works with my script because he is obviously lonely) but he feels sorry for her and gives her 3 days to guess his name and, if she can, he will let her keep the kid (hence the fact that she never learns his name and the last scene in my script)

    5. In the story, it is the king's messenger who overhears Rumpelstiltskin singing in the woods and discovers his name and goes back and tells the queen and saves the day(this is Edgar, though that is pretty subtle and most people who know the story probably wouldn't even figure that out)

    6. When she guesses his name, he is so angry he stomps his foot into the ground, grabs his other leg, and tears himself in two (no reference to this in my script, but I wanted you to know this if you didn't go to the above link because it is such a twisted fairy tale ending ;)
    Last edited by jamiejay; 08-16-2008 at 02:17 PM.


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    #23
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judgement View Post
    A perfect story for a perfect script!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    wow. thank you so much.


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    #24
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiataFilmSomething View Post
    A neat story that provides the chance for some great visuals. I could imagine the cottage and all the ingredients in my mind. Great writing style to be able to do that.

    I would have liked to see a little more tension or development in the script. I imagine that with the filming style this could be done.

    Hopefully gritty fairy tale movies will make a comeback. Pan's Labyrinth got things kicking off for us all I hope.

    Good job!
    Thank you for reading my script and for the review.

    I definitely would have loved to add more and developed it even further.

    I can't believe I haven't seen Pan's Labyrinth yet! I've heard so much about it and I'm dying to see it. In fact, I will definitely go get it this weekend.


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    #25
    Senior Member nitramlehcar's Avatar
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    Hey, Jamiejay! You're the only one with stars on your thread! How cool are you?!
    "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." ~T. Leary


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    #26
    Senior Member Captain Pierce's Avatar
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    I was already intending to be complimentary in my post, but reading your synopsis of the "Rumplestiltskin" fairy tale gave me an ever greater appreciation for what you've done here. Your script dovetails with that just as nicely as the ingredients of his potion match his history with Muriel.

    I had no problem with Muriel's father inviting the Goblin to dinner instead of Edgar because, well... the Goblin can do frickin' magic!

    A fun read, and nicely done.
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    #27
    Senior Member david jerome's Avatar
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    Jamie
    This is very good. And a very smart idea based on an old classic. I love how you ended with his name and revealed this classic little schemer in the last word of your script. This could totally be expanded and made into a twisted little movie starring Clint Howard. I went back and read the fairy tale. It is amazing how a story becomes such a classic and doesn't explain important motivation and reasoning. I guess readers have become much less forgiving. I know it bothered me that it didn't explain the things you mentioned above. So I am going to apply your explainations to the classic story and accept it at that. Him ripping himself in two does make up for alot. I hope you will continue writing and maybe develop this into a feature screenplay.


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    #28
    Senior Member nitramlehcar's Avatar
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    Clint Howard would be perfect for that!
    "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." ~T. Leary


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    #29
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
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    Captain-
    Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you liked it. It's good to know that readers have picked up on the fact that the ingredients for the potion related to each flashback. Sometimes it's hard to tell what's obvious and what isn't. Thanks again


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    #30
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
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    I'm glad I could clear a few things up for you...haha... And I could definitely see Clint Howard in the role. Thank you David


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