Thread: Alien Abduction

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    #61
    Senior Member Isaac_Brody's Avatar
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    I liked this, but I'm on the fence with alien's slang. Just a thought, every time period has different slang. You go back a couple hundred years and you've got Shakespeare, you go back fifty years and you've got different colorful words. It could be interesting to adjust the slang, try and make it offbeat in a futuristic way. How to do that? Well you could argue that the use of the english language has been deteriorating. Maybe it's a mix of global elements, or perhaps it's a shortform version not unlike IM speak. You might lose some of the humor of this piece by changing that, but for me reading it and hearing the current time period slang made me immediately think comedy, and not take this totally seriously. If that's the intention cool, but maybe you can accomplish the comedy and also fulfill the logic of the situation.

    Nice work.
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    #62
    Chapelgrove Films
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    Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and review Alien Abduction. I appreciate your efforts.
    David W. Richardson
    Writer/Producer/Director/Editor
    Chapel Grove Films
    Celtic Cross Films
    Bliss Video Productions
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1400903/?ref_=tt_ov_dr


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    #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isaac_Brody View Post
    I liked this, but I'm on the fence with alien's slang. Just a thought, every time period has different slang. You go back a couple hundred years and you've got Shakespeare, you go back fifty years and you've got different colorful words. It could be interesting to adjust the slang, try and make it offbeat in a futuristic way. How to do that? Well you could argue that the use of the english language has been deteriorating. Maybe it's a mix of global elements, or perhaps it's a shortform version not unlike IM speak. You might lose some of the humor of this piece by changing that, but for me reading it and hearing the current time period slang made me immediately think comedy, and not take this totally seriously. If that's the intention cool, but maybe you can accomplish the comedy and also fulfill the logic of the situation.

    Nice work.
    Isaac, your comment here brought to mind the way Joss Whedon formed his dialog in Firefly/Serenity. He even went into detail about why and how he came up with the mixture of English and Chinese, and how the use of otherwise ordinary English words like "shiny" would be figured out by the viewers through usage. Something to think about.


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    #64
    Chapelgrove Films
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    Quote Originally Posted by thartley View Post
    Isaac, your comment here brought to mind the way Joss Whedon formed his dialog in Firefly/Serenity. He even went into detail about why and how he came up with the mixture of English and Chinese, and how the use of otherwise ordinary English words like "shiny" would be figured out by the viewers through usage. Something to think about.
    Yeah, but we only had 6 pages.
    David W. Richardson
    Writer/Producer/Director/Editor
    Chapel Grove Films
    Celtic Cross Films
    Bliss Video Productions
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1400903/?ref_=tt_ov_dr


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    #65
    More Cowbell Pictures Michael Anthony Horrigan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chapelgrovefilms View Post
    Yeah, but we only had 6 pages.
    Indeed. That's the challenge we face as writers and filmmakers for short projects.


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