Thread: Alien Abduction

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    #21
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    Excellent job! I really enjoyed it. I loved the Gray's slang. Classic. ;)
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    #22
    Chapelgrove Films
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noel Evans View Post
    Ill read it again at the end, of course with that in mind. Sorry, just wanted to add, the mistake in a scene was not clear to me. Was it that the gray allowed himself to be captured and then suffered death as a result?
    Yep. That was it.

    I would've elaborated more on that, but as you see I ran all the way to the last possible line on Page 6. I'm not sure what I'd have wanted to cut out to make room for a more detailed explanation, so I was hoping folks would catch on.

    Thanks again!


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    #23
    Senior Member Captain Pierce's Avatar
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    David,

    A fun read. I don't think I've ever seen that explanation of the "Greys" before, and certainly to see one speaking 21st century slang would be one hell of a weird thing on-screen.

    One minor quibble, and this has SPOILERS, so be warned if haven't read yet--but would the Grey really refer to himself and his kind as "poo pooin' freaks?" I mean, from his point-of-view, he's normal and the pre-mutation humans should be the freaks. Unless he's just using that as part of his plan to get the Man to sympathize with him, because the Man certainly considers the Grey to be a freak.

    But, like I said, a minor issue, overall I really enoyed the script.
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    #24
    Senior Member STYLZ's Avatar
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    Yes nice read. I have thought about aliens being time travelling humans but never equated it to nuclear war mutations. Makes a lot of sense though. The only thing I found questionable was the way the alien talked(like a highschool kid), imagine an astronaut talking like that. Other than that good job thanks for sharing.


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    #25
    Senior Member pmark23's Avatar
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    Cool story. This would make a nice little short, and I hope that someone is doing this for the TwilightFest.

    Somehow I got the impression that the alien was talking jive, and couldn't shake the Chris Tucker accent. It makes sense towards the end though.


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    #26
    Senior Member AJ Brooks's Avatar
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    Best line -- "but his resistance is futile."

    That's awesome on so many levels.

    Good script.


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    #27
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    Liked your script. I totally laughed the first time Gray spoke. I had to read it again to make sure I was reading the alien's lines! Interesting characters.


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    #28
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    Fun script. I could see the ending coming once he started to freak out but it was still a fun read. Nice work!

    Interesting take.

    Cheers,

    Mike


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    #29
    Senior Member MrKilloran's Avatar
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    Great script man, I really enjoyed it and had a nice turn that i was'nt expecting... Aliens are mutated humans from the future, gotta say, pretty cool idea.


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    #30
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    Great read


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