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    #11
    Senior Member pmark23's Avatar
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    It IS a small part of a bigger idea. Truth be told, I was hoping to film this as a short in order to sell the idea of a larger project.

    The nanobots need warmth and high oxygen to live, which forces humanity to flee to the high mountains to survive (which the last third of the future-film would deal with). I agree it could be made clearer.

    Incidently, I thought I was soooo clever in coming up with the title which refers to the tops of frozen mountains as "islands" of civilization -- and then found out that it's old slang for Alaska! Doh!


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    #12
    Senior Member Isaac_Brody's Avatar
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    I like the world you're creating, and I agree that this definitely feels like part of a larger piece.

    One thing that stuck out is the age of your characters. I just thought that three characters in their twenties seemed young and a little arbitrary. I feel like if you make them older, and flesh them out so that they don't all fall into that general twenties category it could add a little weight to them. I just don't picture the character Amy, in her twenties and working in a laboratory.

    I know you're trying to deal with characters representing different life philosophies, but from what I read and what's on the page that felt like an intellectual idea. I want to know their motivations.

    I want to know more about this world, and I'm curious if you can take this world and create a short that exists outside of a larger work. Good work.
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    #13
    Senior Member pmark23's Avatar
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    Thanks Isaac, good observations. In the feature-length story, they're past friends who have grown apart, and were forced together while running away from the plague -- hence the age similarity. There's two more characters which were removed from the short (they didn't really do anything for this scene).


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