Thread: Pulse

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    #11
    Senior Member Mobie540's Avatar
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    I cut a couple of scenes on a TV where they we're showing sports. One of the olympic games was miniature golf and online team gaming. Also, poker replaced football. There was a gag when a seasoned poker pro's heart explodes on the table after winning the champion but I decided to scrap it and do a page 1 rewrite.


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    #12
    Knight of the Holy Order krestofre's Avatar
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    I think those things would have strengthened the script. The concept is good. The chase idea is brilliantly funny. I think you need to turn it up to 11 as it were. Hearts should be blowing out every five seconds. Have Steve walk through a store and in the background is some guy that's like "What do you mean you won't give me my money back?" Ploosh! Heart explode. Some guy bites into a cheeseburger. Ploosh! Heart explode. I'd have that happening every time I could. But that's just me, and it's not my script.

    Funny idea. I enjoyed it. The only joke that made me groan was "cardiac arrest." That might be pushing it.
    Chris Johnson


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    #13
    Senior Member Mobie540's Avatar
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    well, 10 pages is challenging, I can't imagine 5 pages. I'm definitely doing a rewrite. This will probably get made in a later film school class.


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