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    I don't think you should be able to see through his head, because that implies that the whole front of his head is missing, which we know isn't the case. Instead, it should show a bloody hollow skull. Check out the shot of Fergie in Planet Terror to see what I mean. The "no brainer" shot.


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    Senior Member Maximus's Avatar
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    This looks much better. The thing is, the better it looks the more you notice the subtle things that are off! The inside of the hole needs more depth... we should be able to see the inside of the head somewhat. Next step - Maya! lol.
    "Talent + Perseverance = Luck."
    - Steven Soderbergh


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    Senior Member DarkMatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by andoguru View Post
    Hey Movie Stunts,
    I think your story was decent, but I don't know really what the guy was so worried about to commit suicide. He had a baby on the way and there were voice overs, but it didn't convince me enough he would kill himself. It might have been better to start with him just crying and show shots of the sonogram and wine and then just have himself shoot himself right then. It would be good to explain why he killed himself though. I thought you were going to tie in the house with it driving him crazy or something, but that was only glazed over by the woman talking to his wife.
    I tried to leave out alot of the details for 2 reasons, first being that of the 5 min. time limit. I just didn't feel like I had enough time too show all that. Some of my favorite filmakers are Tsukamoto, Lynch, ect... If that helps?

    Quote Originally Posted by andoguru View Post
    The sound is done really well. I love that gunshot to his head. The shots were good too.
    Thanks, looking back I probably should have used that style for the entire film, but I thought it added an interesting element to combine those different styles together.

    Quote Originally Posted by andoguru View Post
    The asian woman's delivery was too slow as in she just needed to read them quicker because she paused a lot and it seemed like she was trying to remember lines.
    Haha, yeah Cinealma said the same thing, and you are both right, she was nervous, and her english gets bad as a result, (Note to self put aside money for better actresses.)

    Quote Originally Posted by andoguru View Post
    Your special effects look alright, but I don't feel like they were warranted in what we saw of the story. There were no indications of anything supernatural until the special efxs on the guy. These would have played better if you had something supernatural or some history of the house early on in the film.
    Really, I thought that element was there? Maybe it wasn't clear enough, I think it was built up a little like the Exorcist; at first she is talking about the disturbances and then they occour.

    Quote Originally Posted by andoguru View Post
    This reminded me of Stir of Echoes a little and I think your story is good, but just needs to be flushed out a little more.
    Laters,
    Ando
    Thanks for the input ando!


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    Senior Member DarkMatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by djsmackmackey View Post
    I don't think you should be able to see through his head, because that implies that the whole front of his head is missing, which we know isn't the case. Instead, it should show a bloody hollow skull. Check out the shot of Fergie in Planet Terror to see what I mean. The "no brainer" shot.
    Yeah, I'm gonna try to figure out how to do that,... I think we would still be able to see out his mouth, being that it is open. Back to Shake this may take awhile....


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    Senior Member DarkMatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maximus View Post
    This looks much better. The thing is, the better it looks the more you notice the subtle things that are off! The inside of the hole needs more depth... we should be able to see the inside of the head somewhat. Next step - Maya! lol.
    Haha, I have Maya also, but haven't had much time to spend learning it!


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    Senior Member DarkMatter's Avatar
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    Ok, so here is what I think people wanted to see as far as the hole in the head effect, it's only one frame.... But you get the idea!




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    Junior Member Movie love's Avatar
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    My brain matter needs to be darker, and we would have to reshoot at a higher angle to get the 'through the mouth' shot.... but not bad.


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    Senior Member DarkMatter's Avatar
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    Maybe that's your eye socket...


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    Coffee Member Jay Rodriguez's Avatar
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    hey i just checked out that hole shot... geez that sounds perverted! lol... anyway, it's much much better man!
    Twitter: jayscorsese


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    Senior Member DarkMatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Rodriguez View Post
    hey i just checked out that hole shot... geez that sounds perverted! lol... anyway, it's much much better man!
    Hahahahahah, ROFL,..... lol,............


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