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wow....who spit in your bean curd?

I actually got more of an "Independence Day" feel with the alien...but anyway...the script was a lot of fun to read...didn't understand the gasoline canister leaking in a medical facility...but that...

I needed to tie in the part of Claudius being the "pawn"...I think the whooaa factor was still there but I think many reader's would question why he sent soldier's to follow Claudius....what was his...

I, also was very confused about Valon's motivations and thought that bride (actually bribe) meant they were harrassing a woman and that made him snap... I also read your explanation of Valon...but...

Enjoyed the script....really enjoyed Quinta...I know you were very pressed for time but I would like to know why Quinta was so important, what is section 8...enquiring minds have to know! I would...

thanks for your feedback....I do agree with losing a lot of the more action lines to incorporate more of the dialogue...the more I read it the more I find things I could have done differently....I...

hahaha! I like the ring of Claudius Chronicles! Happy that you liked it...I doubt scrip writing will be in my future...maybe I should stick to books! ;-)

Glad you liked it! With only 6 pages to make it work...it was my intention to have Jonas and the Lyzines take a backseat...I mainly wanted to focus on the relationship between Fiona, Dimitri and...

Had a lot of fun reading it...you are a great story teller! I liked how you led me in one direction and then completely surprised me...the end had a human and that "feel good movie of the year" sad...

Great job! It sounded exactly like familiar conversations involving "what if's" and drinking...great job on the dialogue! The ending was hilarious and didn't see it coming...overall one of my top...

Great way to show a twist to a real life event...how many times do we contribute such disaster's to whatever the newsman reports...so I "government conspiracy" spin. For me, once the story read...

Great story...kinda pictured a bit of "Predator" in the scenes...I am still a little confused about the Faniki...I would have liked a little more illustration on their purpose.....the dramatic last...

Very good read...I found myself reading very quickly to hurry up and get to the end to see what happened...and then found myself rereading it so I could take it all in! lol!
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yeah the disappearing guns could probably be tied to the accidental props that are left on set while filming...and somehow make it into production...unnoticed? lol! great points...definitely things...

You are quite correct about the name of the story...sorry if it gave it away too early!

maybe you already explained this...so sorry if I am repeating another question or observation...but I am confused w/ the concept of the dad wanting to move to Canada at the end when the beginning was...

I thought the script had some interesting elements...I did have to re-read it to understand some of the transitions in scenes...who was talking to who and what was going on in each scene. your...

Thanks for the feedback! definitely are great observations that I wish I could have elaborated on a little more....the point of Claudius and using vampire senses to locate Fiona....I mainly was...

I thought the concept of the script was great.....I felt science's need to create a "Burger King child" meaning a child you get your way, special ordered....society continues to ponder what we could...

Loved the imagination you used to write such a script...most of the time I couldn't believe what I was reading...it had a "should I be reading this..oh my gosh I cannot believe I am reading" impact! ...

I like the old timey appeal to the script...it has a "twilight zone" essence to it..I can even see it in black and white.


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Great script...loved the interaction between the characters. I could completely see each scene unfolding..it was cohesive and thoughtful...the end definitely left me wanting to know what happens...

I definitely agree that some of the scenes could have been played out more but oh those page counts! ;-) A little more dramatic was intentional since I prefer theatre to movies...I tend ot pull...

Thanks! I definitely would've preferred a stronger connection between Fiona and Dimitri and thinking back...probably the events leading up to the "betrayal" would have been a great story as well! ...

I enjoyed the story...I agree that I was little lost with the motivation of the judge to tag along or why she had such a vested interest but you explained it well in your comments...loved the end...I...