PROMISED - A DahopaFilms Production

[Dahopafilms]

Yeah, we're in ...

Why? ... because we can!

http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/7694/promised05bh5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

And we're not getting any (younger) ...

[Aaron Marshall]

Woo Hoo! I can't wait to watch your film.

Do you have any teaser goodies you can throw our way?

[Texture]

Something tells me this is going to be more than "just a drop in the bucket!" :)

[Inexistence]

oh it's soo wrong but it feels soo right

[Brandon Rice]

hahaha! Nice!

[Ben Sliker]

bow down to the bucket!

[Dahopafilms]

Woo Hoo! I can't wait to watch your film.

Do you have any teaser goodies you can throw our way?

Hey Aaron. Yes, lots of teaser goodies ... but not just yet. Patience, my boy. Patience.


Something tells me this is going to be more than "just a drop in the bucket!"

... oh yes. And by the way Erik, there may not be any buckets in this one at all. Who knows ...

[Nicolas]

What's with the macgregor poster?? I don't get it... :bath:


:violin:

[Dahopafilms]

What's with the macgregor poster?? I don't get it... :bath:
:violin:

:Drogar-BigGrin(DBG) Hey Nic. Yeah - exactly. It was intended as a wee pictorial editorial on the subject of originailty - and shameless self-promotion.

When trying to "hype" a film, grab the audience by any means ...

And when lacking in talent and originality, imitate! The Hollywood way.

And it was supposed to be the first in a series, but ... well ... time hasn't been kind over the last couple of days. So until I have some captured frames to put up (read: "substance"), this will just have to do ...

Cheers, man.

[macgregor]

Again? :|

[Dahopafilms]

Again? :|

{bowing down on bended knee}

Alas,

That was then.

This is now.

So, no. Not again.

Never again.


Unless ...

[Dahopafilms]

... Do you have any teaser goodies you can throw our way?

For Aaron (from the storyboards ...)

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/5139/frame0016xo2.png (http://imageshack.us)

And not a blue bucket in sight ...

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

heh heh.

[Dahopafilms]

Not that I didn't like the first version ...


http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/5345/promisedposter070105cmz5.jpg (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=82315)

[codar22]

I don't know about you guys but I'm exctied !

[Dahopafilms]

I don't know about you guys but I'm exctied !

Actually, I haven't been exctied since that time in Cancun ...

[Dahopafilms]

Just to prove we've actually been doing something, a few screen grabs for your consideration (all of which are now thankfully resting on the cutting room floor):

Jodi's patience being tested:

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1168854202.jpg

"I now pronounce you ..."

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1168854563.jpg

Dr. McDreamy meets Derek Zoolander:

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1168854786.jpg

When Cast and Crew collide ...

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1168854465.jpg

Brought to you by the Alaskan Pepper Growers' Association.

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1168854972.jpg

[Dahopafilms]

*** For members of the cast and crew only, please***

In response to the various e-mailed requests, here is a rough cut of the short. There is still lots to do, but I think it's getting pretty close and we have lots of time left.

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169184876.wmv

Cheers.

[hemichic]

This is the one man!! This is the one. (Wiping away a tear....)

[Norm Sanders]

Brian, glad to see you entering the fest! To me, it was pretty obvious you weren't doing another Bucketman, only because of the big X across his chest ... unless that was added more recently.

Anyway, you have NO idea how tempted I am to check out that WMV link, but I'll honor the cast/crew only request .... dangit. :)

Look forward to seeing your entry!

[Dahopafilms]

Brian, glad to see you entering the fest! To me, it was pretty obvious you weren't doing another Bucketman, only because of the big X across his chest ... unless that was added more recently.

Anyway, you have NO idea how tempted I am to check out that WMV link, but I'll honor the cast/crew only request .... dangit. :)

Look forward to seeing your entry!

Hey Norm.

Yeah, I'm in. Same story as before, only this time Bucketman is called "Erik".

I think it works.

And I see you're rather busy. As always, looking forward to yours. You set a pretty high bar, but I'm well practised and pretty good at passing under bars.:beer:

[codar22]

I've seen some amazing edits before but nothing tops this one.
I would just call it a day and hand this in as the final version!
Great Music Selection, it really captures the essence of the Film.
I'm glad to have been a part of this.

[Dahopafilms]

Greetings all.

Well, we're pretty much done here. So here are a few screen grabs (some cropped rather severly so as not to give too much away) from the finished product.

Thanks to Rico and Craig II for the final eyes on editing. All of your lame suggestions were just awful, so it was good to know I was on the right track all along.:cheesy:

This entry will be a little "different". Different can, of course, be good or bad. We'll just have to wait and see. Personally, I'm going shopping for Kevlar tomorrow.

(smart-ass captions relating to the following pics will be inserted after release)

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169462017.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169462153.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169462059.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169461811.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169462106.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169526403.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/6493/1169462183.jpg

Cheers!

[Norm Sanders]

Wow, got some steamy action going on there, Brian! :)

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Nice grabs!

[Dahopafilms]

Wow, got some steamy action going on there, Brian! :)

Thanks, Norm. Actually, out of consideration for the camera we used ice-cold water for shower scene depicted in the last photo. And I've got a shot where the camera op tilted down a little too far and it's pretty obvious ...:Drogar-Shock(DBG):


Nice grabs!

Thanks, JDS. And if you like those, I hope you'll like the grabs in the third act.

[Texture]

This entry will be a little "different". Different can, of course, be good or bad. We'll just have to wait and see. Personally, I'm going shopping for Kevlar tomorrow.



Ah finally had a few moments to examine a bit more of what my friends at Dahopa are up to. I dunno... From the looks of this thread, I'm getting the impression that you guys are taking this drama thing to heart and may deliver a production unlike any we've seen before. its getting me very curious what this versitile Vancouver ensemble is up to... Gosh, I wish I was able to be involved in this production. But alas, poor me, stuck in Puerto Rico at the moment, a DAW nowhere in sight... :)

Good luck Dahopa!!!

E.

[PaPa]

nice grabs man, the lighting of the two hugging kissing is absolutely beautiful.

what are your lighting setups/equipment consist of? what about the adapter?

[Dahopafilms]

Ah finally had a few moments to examine a bit more of what my friends at Dahopa are up to. I dunno... From the looks of this thread, I'm getting the impression that you guys are taking this drama thing to heart and may deliver a production unlike any we've seen before. its getting me very curious what this versitile Vancouver ensemble is up to... Gosh, I wish I was able to be involved in this production. But alas, poor me, stuck in Puerto Rico at the moment, a DAW nowhere in sight... :)

Good luck Dahopa!!!

E.

Yes. This one is indeed going to be "different". Really, really, really fun to shoot. I think you'll understand more when the finished product is up.

Oh - and Erik? You are probably the only guy I know who jets off to Puerto Rico and then jumps onto his computer and checks out DVXUser. Bars closed? Tired of pristine beaches and elegant evenings? If J. needs a good divorce lawyer, I think you know I can help her with that.:Drogar-Shock(DBG):

Cheers, man.

Now go outside and play. Wear a hat.

[Dahopafilms]

nice grabs man, the lighting of the two hugging kissing is absolutely beautiful.

what are your lighting setups/equipment consist of? what about the adapter?
Thanks - kind of you to say so.

We took some time with lighting that one (like we had a choice). And I've since promised never, ever to shoot in a bathroom with mirrors on every wall ever, ever again.

The lighting setup on the first bathroom frame grab was: the ambient room lighting (numerous halogens in wall sconces and atop the main mirror); natural daylight coming through the frosted exterior window (that would be the blue background light); plus three 250W Lowell Prolights on stands (one shooting diffused through an umbrella) setup in a lopsided triangle and aimed both direct-at-talent and also bouncing off the mirrors (we planned the latter - yes - of course we did).

It was a small room. It got a little warm. And Kristine's towel stayed on the entire time. I credit (blame?) that on her reaction to the too-close presence of her costar.

Also, KC kept blowing one of her lines (a rare event for her). She had to say the name "Erik", but for some reason it always came out "Eric". No one else seemed to notice, but being the perfectionist director that I am, I kept shooting until it came out just as written (or close enough). That, and the fact that we had to do several lighting setups for each of the bathroom shots (plus the towel) explains why shooting that scene took a while.

Shooting 720p at 24 fps. Adapter is a Redrock M2 with a mounted Canon 55mm F1.2 lens wide open (can you say excruciatingly shallow depth of field?).

I appreciate your interest.

[Texture]

Also, KC kept blowing one of her lines (a rare event for her). She had to say the name "Erik", but for some reason it always came out "Eric". No one else seemed to notice, but being the perfectionist director that I am, I kept shooting until it came out just as written (or close enough).

Some of us will definitly appreciate your attention to detail :cool:

Looking forward to a fully functioning download link!!!

E.

[Zak Forsman]

My impressions of PROMISED:

a beautifully shot film. didn’t care for the mix of a romantic-comedy-style montage (set to cheery pop music) with the darker noir tones that seemed more appropriate for this story. regardless, I think your intent was well executed -- to put a twist on an audience’s expectations. the murder could have been staged better. and no one minds watching two beautiful women kiss. no one.

[TimurCivan]

hah finally someone with a plot twist!!!!

[StMad]

>>>>Spoiler Alert<<<<<

I enjoyed this...and after reading your posts I would love to see the comedy version. I'll bet she keeps cutting the veges in that version, after the event.

I was so happy when "The Nibbler" got his. How on earth did he manage to score 2 fine ladies with that technique? Hmmm, maybe that was his undoing.

You have some very nice shots in there, though I can see what you mean about the dof - looks like you had 4 inches to work with. Maybe that was Eriks problem too? Tried to follow your "excrutiatingly" link...it's not working.

Nice work.

[Texture]

Ooooh, if yer gonna give anything away label as a spoiler... gonna try to download with satellite...

[Zak Forsman]

Ooooh, if yer gonna give anything away label as a spoiler... gonna try to download with satellite...at this point, i would expect spoilers in EVERY thread.

[Kholi]

REVIEW: PROMISED

Second of the day. PROMISED was interesting. Content that could've been either explored for the entire six minute run or chopped down to a two minute short.

Another clean image. On the second watch I noticed that the camera wanted to do a few great things, but came up just a tad bit short in timing and such. S'what it's about, though... the practice. So, hopefully you got something out of it and will use it next go around!

Sound quality was just fine, though the soundtrack removed me entirely from anything you were trying to tell me. The music did absolutely nothing, for me, in terms of content. It almost felt like the music was just kind of thrown into the mix, but held no specific purpose.

But, the focus of my reviews this go around isn't going to be technical, but on content. Woo... okay so I can understand the plot "twist", what I can't understand is why we needed to join this playboy during thirty-second kissing excercises. The first kissing scene was on the edge of too much, the second pushed it overboard. With all of that fun making we voyeured in on, I felt like I should've been learning who the heck this Eric was and why he's messing around on these two chics.

Even better, I would've liked to be setup for the plot twist, instead of having it dumped in my lap. It felt kinda like Eric was telling me this story, and wanted to go straight for my panties instead of wooing me. Err, but I don't wear panties so forget what I just said.

I know that you only had a few months to conjure the short up, totally understand. I think that there might've been a lack of motivated writing. Was Eric a totally bad dude in the first place? I mean, why did he have to die if the two girls were messing around behind his back as well? Doesn't that make them just as bad?

Did Eric have a lot of cash that they were after, and this was just their web to ensnare him? I just didn't make any connection with the plot, here. If the story wasnt' going to take the entire six minutes and tell us what's really going on, then the current run could've surely been chopped down by at least three minutes and you would've had the same effect.

But he did drive a really nice car. That must've been a fun shot to organize!

Take my review with a grain o'salt, because hey... I'm jealous that you got to do something and I didn't!

Thanks for exhibiting!

[They Live]

I must be tailing on Kholi with the reviews. And once again he's pretty much said everything for me.

My #1 recommendation would be to can the music and the driving montage. The music just threw me off, and the driving montage was absolutely unnecessary.

I love how someone else in the thread referred to your Eric as "The Nibbler". It was almost comical, but it seems that you have a comedic version as well. Good, b/c I would love to see that. It's almost parody of "Love Affair" movies as it is. I was definately chuckling more than I should've been for a "dramatic" short. But good job, congrats on the entry. Regardless of my criticism, it entertained me.

And I totally called the girl on girl, right before it happened. Never hurts. Thanks for that.

[Michael_Petro]

Hey lesbians that kill thats my IDEA :) MR :)

[Michael_Petro]

The movie Really looked good... I will say the neck kissing made me smile .... more later ..back to the FLICKS

[D_and_G]

- when the music stopped and started in the bathroom it was reminiscent of porno
- infomercial music over him driving the Mercedes ?
- women are always slicing something in the kitchen. Why not onions and make the cliché complete ?
- two lesbians kill one of their husbands ? sweet. I think this had much more comedic potential. Drama wise there was little build up or conflict at all. – please make it a comedy with nudity (boobs specifically) thank you, kind sir. :beer: :beer:

[Michael_Petro]

- when the music stopped and started in the bathroom it was reminiscent of porno
- infomercial music over him driving the Mercedes ?
- women are always slicing something in the kitchen. Why not onions and make the cliché complete ?
- two lesbians kill one of their husbands ? sweet. I think this had much more comedic potential. Drama wise there was little build up or conflict at all. – please make it a comedy with nudity (boobs specifically) thank you, kind sir. :beer: :beer:

I am liking your ideas :)

[Dahopafilms]

Just returned from a shoot and absolutely dead tired, but couldn't resist a quick look-in on the site. To this fuzzy brain, I think everyone who commented above really nailed some truly valid and legitimate issues in relation to this piece (and echoed many of my own thoughts).

I will comment on each comment after some sleep, but in the interim I am appreciative of the time you all took to watch and post your views.

[Noel Evans]

Dahopa you finished on time and thats great! Some of your composition was awesome. Whilst the drive scene was a lot of time wasted. You gotta stab the dude, it didnt quite come of. But Im early on the list, this is still one of the entries I can actually call drama.

Music sucked and sound editing was average. But, overall nice work.

[iSTy]

hmm! i seem to have trouble downloading this one, all i get is audio, no picture :oS

[RomanJaquez]

My thoughts about "Promised"

The cinematography was beautiful. The opening was my favorite part of the movie... I thought it was neat how you captured the condensed water and used it for your title... the font was proper and so was the animation. I did not feel it for the glare at the beginning it was too "filter" and did not fit to the intro of your company.

The car shots were beautiful but felt a bit over killed... for a second I forgot I wasn't watching a Mercedez commercial it was a movie. So how import to the story was the journey on the car?

The actors are good looking and their performance was good. I guess my biggest issue was with the pace of the story.... it did not dramatically resolved in a way that is logical, considering the introduction of the characters... I was left expecting something to happen "tonight" which it did, I guess I wasn't ready to expect a third character with no history or background to be the sudden villain.

I think you have a good idea and story... perhaps 5 minutes and 49 seconds doesn't help the pace to introduce your characters and engage the audience to an emotional experience. I am sure you would do very well with more time for this story.

Best,

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

I just watched it and I generally got it but was confused. Okay, they're lesbians who wanted him dead. But what did the guy promise to do that night? I kept wondering that and that was never delivered. Also the music was a big distration to me. a soundtrack is supposed to flow from scene to scene, here ever single scene jump sounded like someone skipping tracks on an iPod shuffle. Your composer should try connecting scenes. The cinematography was good. The sound quality was decent except that wide angle in the bathroom. nice dolly shots

[Blaine]

I watched your entry and tend to agree with many of the aforementioned criticisms so I won't belabor the point. It's interesting to see how this fits into your body of work. The first thing I saw was Contraband which I thought liked. Since then, the bar has been continually raised. You definitely stepped up with Buckethead...my favorite of SciFest. This one was somewhere between the two. It was, for me, the most visually appealing but nowhere near as developed as Bucketman.

I knew immediately when I saw her chopping veggies, she was going to kill him with the knife. But you really surprised me with the ending. Bravo on that.

[Dahopafilms]

Sorry for being slow off the mark. A few responses for the people kind enough to have posted (while I download other's films to watch myself).


My impressions of PROMISED:

a beautifully shot film. didn’t care for the mix of a romantic-comedy-style montage (set to cheery pop music) with the darker noir tones that seemed more appropriate for this story. regardless, I think your intent was well executed -- to put a twist on an audience’s expectations. the murder could have been staged better. and no one minds watching two beautiful women kiss. no one.

thanks Zak. Without giving too much away too early, the approach to this whole thing was juxtaposition and parallelism (and people think they're mutually exclusive - HA!). Worked in some places and not in others.

Thanks for the comments on the way it was shot - that is what I focussed on here - unfortunately to the detriment of other aspects.

Absolutely agree re the stabbing scene and will comment more on that a bit later.

And as far as the beautiful women kissing - you noticed that? Cool.

[iSTy]

at last got it to work :) although didn't think much of the music, didn't really tie in with the story. Shots were good though.
Thank you.

[Dahopafilms]

Hey Kholi - I respect your opinions very much and thank you for them.


REVIEW: PROMISED

Second of the day. PROMISED was interesting. Content that could've been either explored for the entire six minute run or chopped down to a two minute short.

To me, one of the most valid views. Totally accurate. The story I wanted to present could have/should have been told in three minutes or less.


Another clean image. On the second watch I noticed that the camera wanted to do a few great things, but came up just a tad bit short in timing and such. S'what it's about, though... the practice. So, hopefully you got something out of it and will use it next go around!

I absolutely respect that. I was pushing the camera guys big time. I also experienced a lens problem which I will go into later (OK kiddies - let's play "Spot the Lens Problem"). Bonus points that you caught that.


Sound quality was just fine, though the soundtrack removed me entirely from anything you were trying to tell me. The music did absolutely nothing, for me, in terms of content. It almost felt like the music was just kind of thrown into the mix, but held no specific purpose.

Yes. The only music portion I ended up liking was the opening credit and the closing credit. The in-between bits should have been chucked. My concept was not pulled off in relation to sound. Each "Act" was intended to have a "theme" often running contrary to what was being visually depicted. Note that in each "Act" there was also intended to be a parallel pause in the music each time a line of dialogue was spoken. I honestly don't think it worked.


But, the focus of my reviews this go around isn't going to be technical, but on content. Woo... okay so I can understand the plot "twist", what I can't understand is why we needed to join this playboy during thirty-second kissing excercises. The first kissing scene was on the edge of too much, the second pushed it overboard. With all of that fun making we voyeured in on, I felt like I should've been learning who the heck this Eric was and why he's messing around on these two chics.

Good comments. Again, going for the parallels in relationships. Among all three. As for the timing of the kissing scenes, I admit that I was having a little fun with that and was intentionally trying to push it to make the audience a little uncomfortable. Funny how people get uncomfortable with kisses but stabbing scenes with blood pumping like crazy (which wasn't really obvious in my selected shot) don't really surprise or shock or irritate.



... I know that you only had a few months to conjure the short up, totally understand. I think that there might've been a lack of motivated writing. Was Eric a totally bad dude in the first place? I mean, why did he have to die if the two girls were messing around behind his back as well? Doesn't that make them just as bad?.

LOL! I love you man! Yeah - I came up with the general concept around mid- to late-November and was not intending to enter this in Dramafest. That changed around December 18, I lost one of my actors, had to recast and then we filmed in early January. As for motivated writing, the script is a little different (but not substantively) from what you see. Personally I think the script is perhaps better executed that the short (stupid director). And as for your questions - I guess they exemplify the fact that you have asked all the questions I was trying to get you to ask (now class, let's follow Kholi's excellent lead and see if any of these questions and comments can be applied to anything else going on in the world today ...).

Seriously, comments like these make doing these shorts worthwhile (that, and actually being able to give genuine directions like "Less tongue please, girls".)

[Aaron Marshall]

Brian,

Neat film. I liked the house you shot in. I think it could have been far more dramatic if the women would have gotten into it. Lets say it starts off like it normally does with the blonde. Then he goes to the store and gets some flowers. Have some romantic music playing, like he's buying them for his wife. Then the violins and cello arrangement starts slipping time slightly. Until eventually it's just wet rags over the strings creating discomfort and breaking of trust. It all slowly fades to silence.

The man shows up at the mistresses house, they start making out. Slash, he's down but the wife followed him and gets all Glen Close on his mistresse's ass. The final scene, and a big chunk of the movies is these two ladies beating the hell out of each other in a fight till the death (think Kill Bill, mixed with Fatal Attraction type vibe).

One thing that really stood out that I did not like was the musical transition from the wife, to the car/getting flower scene. Fix that, and the fade out when the car shows up at the mistresses house and it would smooth it out quite a bit.

Good job.

[arielman]

Brain
Remember to remind me not to" promise' anything ..lol
I liked the twist on this ( story) and here I thought she wanted him to ask his wife for a divorce . How wrong I was !

The ending ..I felt the Blond girl was surprised that her friend walked out and not the guy as she showed no Joy in the matter that the guy had just been killed . Not sure if I interpreted that correctly .
The dropping of the Shoulder bag . What was in it ? as both reached for it .
I watched this late last night so I may have missed something .

The only issue I have (small) is when he brings home the flowers to his wife / girlfriend and she puts them on the table . I kinda think most women and I might be wrong here she would of given her Hubby a big kiss or were you trying to tell us something was wrong by not having her kiss him.

"And as far as the beautiful women kissing - you noticed that? Cool."

lmao How could you not!!!

Nice attempt at a different story .
Ian

[Mark Johnson]

I wanted to acknowledge both the thoughtful comments by Kholi and your being open to listen to the critiques, Brian. To me, the best part of the fests is the honest analysis and critique provided by the members here. It's too bad that some people find it hard to accept or listen to criticsm, because that's where the real growth comes from (both as an auteur and as a person). When I see your enthusiastic response to the comments you've received it makes me very excited to see your next production as you obviously are listening and thinking as an artist!

[Dahopafilms]

YEEEHAWWWW!!! Seem now to have managed to clear off a couple of free hours so back to the site now and happy to respond to those kind-hearted folks who have posted comments. Then it's back to watching the entries (only watched 3 so far - disgraceful) ...

So, to briefly respond ...



... I enjoyed this...and after reading your posts I would love to see the comedy version. I'll bet she keeps cutting the veges in that version, after the event.
Thanks StMad - actually, in the comedy version she moves on to the sweetbreads. Not for the faint of heart ...


I was so happy when "The Nibbler" got his ...
I owe you a huge debt of gratitude. Rick's nickname will now forever be "The Nibbler". He just cringes when "Hey Nibbler!" is shouted out across a crowded room. And it gives me a wonderful idea for one of the "extras" I'm compiling ...


You have some very nice shots in there, though I can see what you mean about the dof - looks like you had 4 inches to work with. Maybe that was Eriks problem too?
So. You know Rick?

Thanks for the comments (and ideas).


... My #1 recommendation would be to can the music and the driving montage. The music just threw me off, and the driving montage was absolutely unnecessary ...
Done. Last time I comment on this point. It just hurts too much.


... And I totally called the girl on girl, right before it happened ...
Yeah. Me too. Of course I wrote it, but there ya go. Thanks for the comments.


The movie Really looked good... I will say the neck kissing made me smile ....
Thanks for the comment. Glad the neck kissing brought a smile. That was intended (sometimes I perhaps give in too fast to the pulls of my preferred genre). And after wading through the eleven hours of rough neck-nuzzling footage, I never want to see another neck again in my life. Unless it's female.


- when the music stopped and started in the bathroom it was reminiscent of porno
Er ... so you've seen porno?


- infomercial music over him driving the Mercedes ?
Not "infomercial"! Product placement, my boy. Product placement.:Drogar-Smoke(DBG):


- two lesbians kill one of their husbands ? sweet. I think this had much more comedic potential. Drama wise there was little build up or conflict at all. – please make it a comedy with nudity (boobs specifically) thank you, kind sir.
Who says he was a husband? (hehe). And yes, comedy lurks everywhere. As for the boobs, did you miss The Nibbler's?

To turn serious for a moment, thanks for the comments on the build up and the drama. Interesting how some posted that they saw the drama in it and others missed the drama element. I must say it's very interesting to see varying reactions (all valid) on the same piece. Thanks very much for the post.


Best thing I've seen in years, man. I could learn a lot from you.
True. True. Thanks for posting. I know how busy you are.:beer:


Some of your composition was awesome. Whilst the drive scene was a lot of time wasted. You gotta stab the dude, it didnt quite come of. But Im early on the list, this is still one of the entries I can actually call drama...

Thanks for commenting. The intention was for the actual knifing to be hidden from the viewer. The original script called for some (how should I put this ...) "fiddling about" and the stab was supposed to flow from that. But the poopy director never got good shots he could use for that and so had to go straight to the hidden stab. I agree - I don't think it worked as intended.

As for the drama comment, thanks very much - and now please go and speak to D and G and get this worked out. Thank you.


hmm! i seem to have trouble downloading this one, all i get is audio, no picture :oS
Ahhh. You seem to have received the "You've been a bad boy and now must listen endlessly to the 'Promised' soundtrack" version. Bummer.


... The cinematography was beautiful. The opening was my favorite part of the movie... I thought it was neat how you captured the condensed water and used it for your title... the font was proper and so was the animation ...
Roman, thanks for your thoughtful comments. Yes, I was trying for the visual this time out and some of it did work, I think. Glad you liked the opening. That was fairly easy and I assume the animation you refer to was the title reveal to match the water cascade. That was fun to do.


... The actors are good looking and their performance was good. I guess my biggest issue was with the pace of the story.... it did not dramatically resolved in a way that is logical, considering the introduction of the characters... I was left expecting something to happen "tonight" which it did, I guess I wasn't ready to expect a third character with no history or background to be the sudden villain.
I was very proud of each of these three actors. They performed as directed (and so any shortcomings are the director's - not theirs) and were terrific to work with. I never cease to be amazed at the talent of actors. Brianna, Kristine and Rico are all amazingly talented. As for the characters, it was intended that each of the three have an equal role revolving around the others. And sorry - I'm not quite understanding your "logical" issue - would like to hear more on that to see what I'm missing.


... I think you have a good idea and story... perhaps 5 minutes and 49 seconds doesn't help the pace to introduce your characters and engage the audience to an emotional experience. I am sure you would do very well with more time for this story.
I think I mentioned a few days ago that I should have taken less time to tell this. I remain of that view. I really appreciate your thoughtful comments, Roman, and thank you for them.

More responses to come ...

[Dahopafilms]

I just watched it and I generally got it but was confused. Okay, they're lesbians who wanted him dead. But what did the guy promise to do that night? I kept wondering that and that was never delivered ... The cinematography was good. The sound quality was decent except that wide angle in the bathroom. nice dolly shots
Hey Shawn. Thanks very much for you thoughts. Much appreciated. I think I alluded to this a few days back, but the fact you're asking those questions is exactly the response I wanted to elicit from the audience. I never wanted to deliver an on-the-nose, no mysteries short.

At the risk of rambling, one of the best experiences I ever had was about 15 years ago in London after seeing Judy Dench in "The Gift of the Gorgon". We left the theatre, went for coffee and spent about two hours talking about the play, what it meant and our interpretations of it. Who is to say that any of us were right or wrong - it was the thoughtful discussion that was bliss. In this piece, I even thought twice about telling the actors the "real" story. Eventually I did, but the energy that was created by the various interpretations of the script was terrific.

Thanks for your comment on the sound (so obvious - why didn't I catch it - it's now going to be fixed thanks to you). I also appreciate you noticing the dolly shots. Cheers! And thanks again.


... The first thing I saw was Contraband which I thought liked. Since then, the bar has been continually raised. You definitely stepped up with Buckethead...my favorite of SciFest. This one was somewhere between the two. It was, for me, the most visually appealing but nowhere near as developed as Bucketman.

I knew immediately when I saw her chopping veggies, she was going to kill him with the knife. But you really surprised me with the ending. Bravo on that.
You liked Contraband? Cool. That makes one. Glad there was a little surprise for you at the end. I appreciate your kind words and I think I agree with everything you said. Except the bit about the chopping knife. I never saw that coming at all.:)


Neat film. I liked the house you shot in.
Cool. An interior decorating comment. How wonderfully unexpected! (and the homeowner - one of my partners - raced up to me the other day after you had posted this, told me about your comment, and has been annoyingly puffed up ever since. Thanks Aaron. Thanks a lot.)


I think it could have been far more dramatic if the women would have gotten into it. Lets say it starts off like it normally does with the blonde. Then he goes to the store and gets some flowers. Have some romantic music playing, like he's buying them for his wife. Then the violins and cello arrangement starts slipping time slightly. Until eventually it's just wet rags over the strings creating discomfort and breaking of trust. It all slowly fades to silence.

The man shows up at the mistresses house, they start making out. Slash, he's down but the wife followed him and gets all Glen Close on his mistresse's ass. The final scene, and a big chunk of the movies is these two ladies beating the hell out of each other in a fight till the death (think Kill Bill, mixed with Fatal Attraction type vibe).
Punk kid, trying to rewrite the whole thing. What do you think you are - a writer? A movie maker? Sheesh!:Drogar-Love(DBG):

You know the respect I have for you Aaron. Thanks for your comments.

Now go to bed.


I liked the twist on this ( story) and here I thought she wanted him to ask his wife for a divorce . How wrong I was !

The ending ..I felt the Blond girl was surprised that her friend walked out and not the guy as she showed no Joy in the matter that the guy had just been killed . Not sure if I interpreted that correctly .
Ian - terrific comments. The piece is open to interpretation. If it has you wondering about it, our job here is done.


The dropping of the Shoulder bag . What was in it ? as both reached for it .
I watched this late last night so I may have missed something .
To paraphrase a great line from a classic movie - "I think we need a bigger knife".


The only issue I have (small) is when he brings home the flowers to his wife / girlfriend and she puts them on the table . I kinda think most women and I might be wrong here she would of given her Hubby a big kiss or were you trying to tell us something was wrong by not having her kiss him.
Now yer getting it! E x c e l l e n t ...

As always, Ian, thanks for your comments - I do value your opinion.

Now go look for the knife in the last shot ...:)


I wanted to acknowledge both the thoughtful comments by Kholi and your being open to listen to the critiques, Brian. To me, the best part of the fests is the honest analysis and critique provided by the members here. It's too bad that some people find it hard to accept or listen to criticsm, because that's where the real growth comes from (both as an auteur and as a person). When I see your enthusiastic response to the comments you've received it makes me very excited to see your next production as you obviously are listening and thinking as an artist!
Yeah. Right. Screw you.

(seriusly - thanks for the comment Mark - I think the approach you refer to is shared by almost everyone here. And those that don't share it don't matter)

[kylelewis1]

So a knife was in the bag that the lady dropped at the end? That makes a little more sense :) I thought you had great camera work and excellent framing. My favorite was the kitchen sink shot as you moved the camera to the lady cutting vegatables. Like the others said, the music in the middle did not fit the tone of the story. Great job.

[kylelewis1]

Was the brunnette going to kill the blonde at the end or was she just trying to take the evidence with her?

[ripupthehwy]

Well I liked the ending scene. lol :-)

[Dahopafilms]

So a knife was in the bag that the lady dropped at the end? That makes a little more sense :) I thought you had great camera work and excellent framing. My favorite was the kitchen sink shot as you moved the camera to the lady cutting vegatables. Like the others said, the music in the middle did not fit the tone of the story. Great job.
Thanks very much Kyle.

Yeah - the knife falls out of the bag after it was dropped (and I recall we had to drop it about 11 times to get it right). Interesting that I thought the knife drop was really clear, but you're not the only one who seemed to have missed this. I think I'd use a cleaver or a hatchet or a chain saw next time.


Was the brunnette going to kill the blonde at the end or was she just trying to take the evidence with her?
Well, what do you think? (see previous posts for my approach to this story)

Thanks for your thoughts.


Well I liked the ending scene. lol :-)
Please stop posting, Kristine.

[Billy Pilgrim]

Very Soap Opera. Was that intentional?

[Dahopafilms]

Very Soap Opera. Was that intentional?
LOL! At first I wasn't sure how to take that. Then I checked the characteristics of American soap operas:

~Overhead spotlighting, or back lighting, is often placed directly over the heads of all the actors in the foreground, causing an unnatural shadowing of their features along with a highlighting of their hair. Back lighting was always a standard technique of film and television lighting, though it was mostly abandoned in the mid-to-late eighties due to its somewhat unnatural look. The technique has nevertheless persisted in soap operas.
~The rooms in a house often use deep stained wood wall panels and furniture, along with many elements of brown leather furniture. This creates an overall "brown" look which is intended to give a sumptuous and luxurious look to suggest the wealth of the characters portrayed.
~Daytime soap operas do not routinely feature location or exterior-shot footage. Often they will recreate an outdoor locale in the studio. Australian and UK daily soap operas, on the other hand, invariably feature a certain amount of exterior-shot footage in every episode. This is usually shot in the same location and often on a purpose-built set, although they do include new exterior locations for certain storylines.
~The visual quality of a soap opera is usually lower than prime time television shows due to ... the fact that soap operas are recorded on videotape using a multicamera setup, unlike primetime productions which are usually shot on film and frequently using the single camera shooting style. Because of the lower resolution of video images, and also because of the emotional situations portrayed in soap operas, daytime serials feature a heavy use of closeup shots.
~Soap operas often reuse the same blocking techniques. For example, if a romantically involved man and woman are talking to each other face-to-face, one character will inevitably turn 180° and face away from the other character while they both continue to have a conversation. While this would virtually never happen in real life, and is not seen outside of US daytime serials, it is an accepted soap convention.
~In US daytime soap operas, when a scene is about to reach a temporary conclusion and the episode is to transition to a new scene or take a commercial break, one character in the currently concluding scene will often be shown in extreme closeup and deliver a shocking announcement. No other character will respond and there will be no dialogue for several seconds while the music builds before cutting to a new scene. This kind of segue is referred to in the industry as a "tag." Additionally, in a construct unique to US daytime serials, the episode will frequently then return to this precise point in time after some intervening scenes, and the discussion will continue from the point where the revelation was made. Usually, however, when the discussion resumes the previously tense and dramatic mood created through music and closeup shots will have dissipated; the scene usually resumes in a relatively relaxed and sedate mode. The format of ending a scene to switch to other characters but to then return to the original scene at the precise time the viewer last left it is unique to US daytime serials.

Rocognizing almost none of these attributes (as admirable as they may be) in my short, I suppose the answer would have to be "Gee, no".:)

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Hey thanks for entering this.
I enjoyed it.
I'm so behind on non DVxuser stuff I haven't had much time to see or comment on the films. But I did want to at least stop by and give you kudos for a great entry.
My only ding is that I think things could have been tightened up some. Shots of driving up to the house etc.
Was that a shout out to me in the Kitchen - small consolation I say given that you had teased me with getting the bucket head treatment at one point :( :laugh:

[Dahopafilms]

Hey thanks for entering this.
I enjoyed it.
I'm so behind on non DVxuser stuff I haven't had much time to see or comment on the films. But I did want to at least stop by and give you kudos for a great entry.
My only ding is that I think things could have been tightened up some. Shots of driving up to the house etc.
Was that a shout out to me in the Kitchen - small consolation I say given that you had teased me with getting the bucket head treatment at one point :( :laugh:
Yeah yeah yeah. The driving scene. Sure it's unnecessary, but I'm driving a new Mercedes as a result (or will be as soon as the footage is picked up and aired unedited ten times by "a major national United States network" - at least that's what the contract says).

And yes - you got the kitchen scene kudos. Very observant. And seeing as how you won the prize, I guess that means you won't be having an unexpected house guest for two weeks in March. Congrats all 'round.

[Cynic821]

2nd review:

The intro on the red metal with the logo was nice, like in the banner.

I know its a bathroom, but sound i think could have been ADR'ed to get rid of the echo. A whole minute also felt a bit long for the bathroom scene. Acting was not very strong like most others though.

The care scene felt like a Mercedes commercial , i kept waiting for the MSRP to pop up with great lease rates. I would attribute that to both the angles and the music.

The music again felt canned and almost stereotypical of a DVX Film Fest. Focus was very good but camera movement felt robotic. Draining the life from the scene. The kissing here went long as well. Much like all the movies, i felt like 6 min was far too long of a limit, only because it felt like everyone was trying to reach the 6 min mark instead of trying to stay under it this time around.

Their plot of murder was not very believable, and will fool no cop short of Dept Fife. Another problem i had was the death scene. Ive never been stabbed, but i can be sure that he would become suprised than angry , not tired and paralyzed when stabbed.

Thats it.

maybe i should give a disclaimer before i get warned? ( i had to stop reviewing horrorfest because i wasnt being that positive, this is how i feel and i guess ill just post until im stopped again)

[Dahopafilms]

2nd review:

The intro on the red metal with the logo was nice, like in the banner.

I know its a bathroom, but sound i think could have been ADR'ed to get rid of the echo. A whole minute also felt a bit long for the bathroom scene. Acting was not very strong like most others though.

The care scene felt like a Mercedes commercial , i kept waiting for the MSRP to pop up with great lease rates. I would attribute that to both the angles and the music.

The music again felt canned and almost stereotypical of a DVX Film Fest. Focus was very good but camera movement felt robotic. Draining the life from the scene. The kissing here went long as well. Much like all the movies, i felt like 6 min was far too long of a limit, only because it felt like everyone was trying to reach the 6 min mark instead of trying to stay under it this time around.

Their plot of murder was not very believable, and will fool no cop short of Dept Fife. Another problem i had was the death scene. Ive never been stabbed, but i can be sure that he would become suprised than angry , not tired and paralyzed when stabbed.

Thats it.

maybe i should give a disclaimer before i get warned? ( i had to stop reviewing horrorfest because i wasnt being that positive, this is how i feel and i guess ill just post until im stopped again)
Just popped in after a loooong night - glad I did to catch your views. Great thoughts on your part.

I respectfully disagree with you on the acting (or, if you're right, then it was the dumb-ass director's fault) and maybe the death scene (I intended a surgical strike to the heart via an upward thrust from the sternum resulting in immediate catastrophic blood loss and loss of consciousness - but who cares) but I think pretty much everything else you said I agree with.

And as for worried about not being positive - well, if you can't stand the heat ...:huh:

Thanks for your thoughts, my friend. Much appreciated.

[Texture]

My wife and I both enjoyed this entry. Here are my critical thoughts...

There's something kinda similar to a bullfight in a story like this. It's a story that needs to be told in broad and bold brush strokes with sharp contrasts. The characters need to be real pulp fiction archetypes.

They've got to be iconic. The male role needs to be somebody who exudes a toughness, machismo and masculinity like Dinero or Bruce Willis. Somebody you would never believe a woman could "get over" on. Somebody you might imagine being involved in the mafia as portrayed in the cinema...

Understanding the limitations on time for casting, I can't be too critical, but the central male role chosen didn't entirely convince me. Also, I found his soul patch a distraction. A flavor saver under the lip can be useful to a character in a longer form story on a larger screen. But in this, being shown on a small screen I was thrown away from the story for a moment. "Is that a shadow? Is that a funk patch?" I hope you won't be too upset my this critisism, I also criticized the creators of Heritage for an ear stud in the final moments of their film.

The women were convincing, but could have been a bit more vampish. Not as in vampire, but as in vamp... That Jessica Rabbit / Anita Ekberg / Julie London type, extremely alluring, but dubious in character, capable of anything and impossible to resist as they draw their prey like moths to a flame. I think these actresses could have accomplished this and in many ways did this already, but maybe a change in settings and wardrobe for the murder scene could have been more effective. A larger kitchen in an old chateau or villa - sexier clothing - a roast pig on the table with an apple in its mouth foreshadowing the slaughter of Erik... Hehe. Guess I'm getting carried away now. :) Guess I'm turning this into a Hitchcock murder kinda thing. :)

The minor story inconsistencies have already been brought up by others so I'm not gonna harp on those. Also folks mentioned that there was too much driving. I kinda liked the driving and the Cranberries style music underneath, but yea I guess this would have been better served time for developing characters and relationships. If the relationships were more established, the murder would have been more shocking...

Did I mention the camera work, lighting, SOUND and editing were excellent?

Thanks for taking some chances and reaching for greater heights! This entry is great entertainment and a great effort!

[Dahopafilms]

My wife and I both enjoyed this entry.
So why doesn't the member of the team whose opinion I truly trust ever post?:Drogar-Love(DBG):


...There's something kinda similar to a bullfight in a story like this.Well, you're half right ...


...The male role needs to be somebody who exudes a toughness, machismo and masculinity like Dinero or Bruce Willis. Somebody you would never believe a woman could "get over" on. Somebody you might imagine being involved in the mafia as portrayed in the cinema...
er ... Bruce Willis (in his "with hair" or "without hair" period)? I appreciate the thought, but that wasn't the intention. All kidding aside, the intention was that the male character be a little wimpy, a little torn, a little confused, a little single dimensional. It was intended that there be room for doubt and interpretation as to what his intentions were in relation to the relationships with each woman.


... Also, I found his soul patch a distraction. A flavor saver under the lip can be useful to a character in a longer form story on a larger screen. But in this, being shown on a small screen I was thrown away from the story for a moment. "Is that a shadow? Is that a funk patch?" I hope you won't be too upset my this critisism, ...
This is killing me. I actually had to ask someone what a "soul patch" was. Our (talented) actor actually has a tattoo on his left shoulder and I was at first mystified whether you had managed to spot it despite the expert makeup job that Claire did to cover it up! I've really got to ramp up my vocabulary so I can communicate with my hipper, non-English speaking NJ friends!


... The women were convincing, but could have been a bit more vampish. Not as in vampire, but as in vamp... That Jessica Rabbit / Anita Ekberg / Julie London type, extremely alluring, but dubious in character, capable of anything and impossible to resist as they draw their prey like moths to a flame. I think these actresses could have accomplished this and in many ways did this already, but maybe a change in settings and wardrobe for the murder scene could have been more effective. A larger kitchen in an old chateau or villa - sexier clothing - a roast pig on the table with an apple in its mouth foreshadowing the slaughter of Erik... Hehe. Guess I'm getting carried away now. :) Guess I'm turning this into a Hitchcock murder kinda thing. :) ...
I only have one response to this comment:

Julie London? You're old enough to remember her? I am suddenly feeling soooooo much better about myself.:thumbup:


... Also folks mentioned that there was too much driving. I kinda liked the driving and the Cranberries style music underneath, but yea I guess this would have been better served time for developing characters and relationships. If the relationships were more established, the murder would have been more shocking...
You liked the driving scene? Now you have totally lost all credibility!:beer:

And ... the Cranberries? Maybe the Raspberries (and I actually have a 1973 album of theirs ...) but not the Cranberries. Too contemporary.:Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)

Other than that, I agree!


... Did I mention the camera work, lighting, SOUND and editing were excellent?
Sheesh! It took ya long enough!:undecided And coming from you, the sound reference both pleases and amazes me. Considering the source, this comment is the most gratifying received regarding this short.:Drogar-Happy(DBG):

Thanks E-man.

Now go gulp some Geritol and put on some Bobby Troup.:beer:

[Texture]

LOL! :smile:

Had to mention Julie. She's one of the best torch singers of the 20th Century even if most of her stuff was recorded before I was born!

Below, a must for anyone who loves to hear the songs of a sexy siren...

http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/B0000032MA/ref=s9_asin_image_1/102-5025449-2119340

[Dahopafilms]

LOL! :smile:

Had to mention Julie. She's one of the best torch singers of the 20th Century even if most of her stuff was recorded before I was born! ...
Yeah. right. And if I could backpedal that fast, I'd join the circus.

And I bet you are a big fan of Billy May, too.