Screenplay Feedback - offer

[Charli]

If you have a script and you're wondering why it's not flowing, what's wrong with the dialogue, why there's not a beginning/middle/end, I might be able to help you out. I will give you feedback.

I'm not an expert in screenplays, but I have written a couple. Here is a link to the latest short I did for fun.

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=76955

I won't be rewriting anyone's scripts, but I will give you FEEDBACK to show you what you need to do to rework the script to have a better story, from a screenwriter's point of view.

Just email me the pages - just.charli@hotmail.com

Good luck to you all.

Charli

[Ted Arabian]

Hey Charli, that is a mighty generous offer! :) Such great people here at dvxuser!!!

[Charli]

Problem with most of these shorts will be pacing, Theo. That includes
the pacing of the dialogue. There's a certain way to cut it so that the dialogue
rolls off the tongue.

Since I'm not in this festival, I might be able to help some who are. I'll be
hammering out a script for a friend from the East Coast for fun next week.
You won't however see anything I've written on this Fest.

I was able to help Brandon smooth out just a few rough edges of Captain
Fundraiser, so it helps to get another point of view when you can.