dauntless films presents "the Devil Inside"

[Jaime V]

So this would be round two for me, since my original idea fell through. Hopefully, second time's a charm :)

I wrote this idea at work today, during lunch, and um...probably during some time I should have been 'really' working.

I'm fairly confident these actors won't bail on me, and I'm shooting this weekend, so they don't have much time to bail anyway, heheh. I'm going to try my damndest to finish all the shooting in these two days. It's a simple enough story, so hopefully this should be doable (famous last words probably)

I wish I had a poster, but for now all I have is a banner in my sig, a dvx and a dream.

Since it seems to be the thing to do to present BTS type stuff, I'll try...but since I'm doing it all myself, if I'm behind the scenes, then who the heck is making my movie?? :laugh:

09-27 Poster...better late than never eh?

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159407995.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159375489.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159375069.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159372469.jpg

[TheatreGuy]

Hey man, I know the feeling! Good luck with Round 2!

This time, I suggest using a pneumatic nailer (for the actors)... It helps keeps things in place all the time!

Have fun. Post what you can. We're pulling for you!

Ted

[Jaime V]

Thanks TheatreGuy.

Here are some pics that a friend took while we were prepping

How to keep the actors happy:
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158507500.jpg

Actors prepping:
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158507469.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158507486.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158507523.jpg

Going ok so far. It's a lot of fun!

[Lingothree]

How to keep the actors happy:
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158507500.jpg




Only one bottle? That won't keep them happy for long...

[Jaime V]

well...if they drank more than one bottle, it may have killed any tension in the scene...who's afraid of two drunk chicks? ;-)

In way of a quick update of my progress so far:

The shooting went pretty well I think...I got mostly decent shots. I've already learned the importance of highly repeatable performances when trying to cut between different angles etc. While I was focused on making sure the lines were good and said the same way etc, other things like subtle body language, or picking up the glass of wine, somehow eluded me.

I was a bit nervous at first, trying to give direction to these two ladies. Don't get me wrong, they aren't professional actors or anything, but one's my wife, and I didn't really know the other girl. But as we got more into it, I was able to better articulate what I wanted out of them, and they actually both responded pretty well; my wife never even once shot me a dirty look. Except maybe when I sent her back to our house to grab some stuff I forgot to bring :) (we were shooting in a friends house).

I also realized that the LCD on the DVX100b I think is a little...forgiving of the image, for want of a better phrase. When I brought the footage into premiere, some of the footage seemed darker, and some scenes had softer focus than I thought it did. The darkness could be my monitor I suppose...it's a nice LCD, but not one of your fancy production monitors or anything. The focus...well, maybe it's because I'm just new at this, but the focus seemed good when I was shooting, but seemed softer later on when capturing.

Ah yes, I also learned to be very careful of reflective surfaces and lights...one of the scenes I shot, when I was dollying past the shiny microwave in the kitchen, you could see the big ol light behind me for a second.

I didn't have anyone to work a boompole, so the audio won't be the best, but I think it will be serviceable.

All in all, it was a good learning experience already, and I'm getting more comfortable with the camera.

I'm aiming to do more shooting for a flashback scene and some pick up shots this week, and this weekend.

[TheatreGuy]

Only one bottle? That won't keep them happy for long...
I like your style, Lingothree!


... I also realized that the LCD on the DVX100b I think is a little...forgiving of the image, for want of a better phrase. When I brought the footage into premiere, some of the footage seemed darker, and some scenes had softer focus than I thought it did. The darkness could be my monitor I suppose...it's a nice LCD, but not one of your fancy production monitors or anything. The focus...well, maybe it's because I'm just new at this, but the focus seemed good when I was shooting, but seemed softer later on when capturing.

Boy, do I agree! When I finish this horrorfest shoot, I am going to research a field monitor! I hate trying to focus with that LCD. And the EVF is so small, that doesn't help.

As for continuity... isn't that a bear!

[Jaime V]

Hmmm well I'm glad it isn't just me then!

Once I figure out how to get good screen grabs from my footage I'll post some. I was exporting some frames, but they are squished horizontally, even though it's the same res...I assume because the DV pixels aren't really square? I'll have to check it out when I get home this evening.

Thanks for your support TheatreGuy; it's re-assuring to know there are others going through the same trials and tribulations :)

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

No doubt a monitor is the way to go.

But ideally you should expose as bright as you can anyway without overexposing, because you can always bring things down in post without hurting the image. You can't go the other way without introducing noise before too long. So the idea is rather than stop down in camera, do it in post. This way you are getting as much quality image into your sensors as possible. After seeing the Broken DVD I would never try to expose for final look in camera now -- as much light as you can get in -- stop down on set to see if it at its moody darkness so you'll know you are getting the feel you want BUT then stop back up to record the image -- this goes doubly so with just the LCD as your only monitor -- if your imaged doesn't blow out and its in focus, white balance and the rest can be done in post. So use your zebra bars and crank that exposure up without overexpsing. If your skintones aren't peaking at 70% IRE then you are underexposed for a film look anyway.

[TheatreGuy]

No prob!

I had the same problem with exporting frames, too. I have learned to put them into photoshop and use the resize window.

Turn off "lock aspect ratio"
Enter new dimensions of 1600 px by 900 px
Hit okay
Go back to resize window.
Turn on "lock aspect ratio"
Enter new dimension that you want to post and
Voila! The image is corrected!

Try it! You'll like it.


No doubt a monitor is the way to go.

But ideally you should expose as bright as you can anyway without overexposing, because you can always bring things down in post without hurting the image. You can't go the other way without introducing noise before too long. So the idea is rather than stop down in camera, do it in post. This way you are getting as much quality image into your sensors as possible. After seeing the Broken DVD I would never try to expose for final look in camera now -- as much light as you can get in -- stop down on set to see if it at its moody darkness so you'll know you are getting the feel you want BUT then stop back up to record the image -- this goes doubly so with just the LCD as your only monitor -- if your imaged doesn't blow out and its in focus, white balance and the rest can be done in post. So use your zebra bars and crank that exposure up without overexpsing. If your skintones aren't peaking at 70% IRE then you are underexposed for a film look anyway.

Great tips, Jack! Thanks. Mucho Appreciato!

[Jaime V]

Thanks for the tips guys. Jack, what you say does make a lot of sense, and would have taken me much longer to figure out on my own, if ever :)

I found this part interesting:


If your skintones aren't peaking at 70% IRE then you are underexposed for a film look anyway.

I'm sure you are correct, but I'll have get some test footage and see exactly what you mean.

Thanks again guys!

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

This is as per Evan at HVX/DVX bootcamp. I'm just parroting him. I believe he said for a filmmlike exposure the skintones should be 40 - 70 % IRE, which you can check by using the Marker On Zebra setting.

But the expose bright is from personal experience. The caveat is that this is undercontrolled circumstances. So the simple axioms are.
Almost overexpose inside.
Underexpose slightly outisde.
Because outside if the clouds part etc. you'll have no informatin to work with once things blow out. Plus there is usually plenty of light getting to your camera outside.

Only ther caveat is that the sweet spot for the leica lens is around f4 or f5 ... so if you can get enough light at that F Stop you'll get the cleanest sharpest image possible. But this is negligable i think - a great t shoot for, but not always possible sort of thing and I usually wind up shooting close to full open or full open.

[Jaime V]

Oh I certainly do not doubt the veracity of the statement Jack. i just like to see it for myself so I can go "oh...so that's what that looks like"; I want to see it underexposed and correctly exposed for myself...I just learn better that way.

I know what you mean about the clouds. I actually had an issue indoors, where there was a curtained window in the background. The sun was shining and providing some nice light, and then in the middle of the shot, clouds came and I lost a lot of light heheh. I'll post some grabs when I get home, um...because I like to up the post count on my own thread :laugh:.

Thanks again so much.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Oh I certainly do not doubt the veracity of the statement Jack... Didn't think so, just giving Evan credit and also stating that while I don't doubt it either, I can't swear to it in the same battle tested way as the other stuff. :beer:

[TheatreGuy]

So Jack, I know that I have a lot to learn, but I have been using my camera with the Zebra setting at 100%. When I see ANY striping, I roll back my iris until the stripes are 'just' gone.

Is this totally wrong? Should I be using my Zebra setting at 70%?

I am sure that there is no "right" answer. Or is there?

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

No. You are right.
But that's why you can toggle easily between MARKER ON, 80% and 100%.

[TheatreGuy]

Thanks, Jack!

I would love to attend one of these bootcamps. I image that it is not only a great time and a chance to meet all of these dvxuser, but a wonderful learning experience.

[Lingothree]

I like your style, Lingothree!


Boy, do I agree! When I finish this horrorfest shoot, I am going to research a field monitor! I hate trying to focus with that LCD. And the EVF is so small, that doesn't help.

As for continuity... isn't that a bear!

My two favorite tools for filmmaking:

1. alcohol
2. a monitor

[Jaime V]

My two favorite tools for filmmaking:

1. alcohol
2. a monitor

lol...in that order too, I'm sure :beer:

[Jaime V]

Here are some screen grabs. Think of them as a cautionary tale of what NOT to do :)

So this scene looks like it's lit ok:

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158620687.jpg

But wait! The sun...where's it going?

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158620664.jpg

Ah well...lesson learned.

Oh yeah...and here's the obligatory basement doorway shot (yes...I'm using a basement too). He's probably just going down there to grab some more beer from the freezer or something..."I'll be right back" he said...

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158620638.jpg

[Jaime V]

I was playing around with Photoshop. This won't be in the short like this I don't think, but it was fun to figure out how to do this in Photoshop anyway. And it only took a few minutes...hmmm the possibilities.

No blood:
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158624727.jpg

Blood:
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1158624745.jpg

[TheatreGuy]

He's probably just going down there to grab some more beer from the freezer or something..."I'll be right back" he said...

Beer in the freezer? Hmmmm, okay.

Cool photoshop'd blood. That looks great.

Also, it looks like you managed to "stretch" your grabs out. Did you use the idea I suggested or did you solve how to export them properly from your NLE program?

Looks good, Apollyon!

[Jaime V]

Haha I didn't even realize...I was thinking of a combination of the extra freezer I used to have in the basement, and the scene in Scream where the girl went for more beer.

Yes, I simply resized it like you suggested. I didn't even realize it, but the answer I think was in my own question...DV pixels aren't square, so in Premiere the rez of 720x480 is correct, but in photoshop the pixels are square so it isn't?

Or maybe I'm off. But resizing it afterwards of course works fine, so thank you :-)

[Cynic821]

ahh, famous last words....ill be right back...

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Haha I didn't even realize...I was thinking of a combination of the extra freezer I used to have in the basement, and the scene in Scream where the girl went for more beer.

Yes, I simply resized it like you suggested. I didn't even realize it, but the answer I think was in my own question...DV pixels aren't square, so in Premiere the rez of 720x480 is correct, but in photoshop the pixels are square so it isn't?

Or maybe I'm off. But resizing it afterwards of course works fine, so thank you :-)

you are exactly right, photoshop defaults to square pixels.
4:3 NTSC DV is almost square (.9) but widescreen is 1.2 pixel aspect ratio.

You can either do the math in photoshop and resize or ... if you scroll down under "Image" you will see a menu item called "Pixel Aspect Ratio" where you can choose from a variety of Pixel Aspect Ratios. I believe these are just for preview so if you save you won't actually have changed the image ... the easyway without doing math is to use the square select tool, drag it all around the image once you've changed the Pixel Aspect ratio and then copy, create new, and paste ... the new project will appear correctly and will save that pixel aspect ratio.

Although, I haven't tried to do it just by selecyting the right aspect ratio under the image menu and then saving in years, so maybe that works now too, because there used to be a pop up that said the pixel aspect ratio was just for preview, and that doesn't come up anymore ... so maybe try that way first.

[Mark Harris]

Yeah, the first thing I do at just about ANY indoor shoot is...BLACK OUT THE WINDOWS :) Ask anyone on my crew. I shouldn't even have to say it anymore. :) Lots of black plastic party tableclothes. And we started using some black garbage bags to, because they let in just enough blue-ish to look like moonlight out a window. Yet not enough light to muck with your lighting.

The basement shot looks great. Very iconic.

And I think your photoshopped blood looks great. As long as she doesn't move, I guess.

Man, is our movie going to be the ONLY one without a basement?

[Lake Films]

Ah, the blackout system, know it well. I use black cloth I bought from a fabric store along with black shower curtains from the $1 store....Lot's of push pins and gaffers tape, lol.

[Jaime V]

Thanks for the tips...it's a never ending learning process. I shot the last scenes last weekend and it went ok. I don't have any pics or anything...too busy shooting. One thing I wanted to share that made me giggle like a schollgirl though is this:

I don't have a dolly, and I wanted to do a small dolly-type shot. So I put a blanket down on the ground (hardwood floors) put the tripod on it, and then had a friend pull the blanket across the hardwood slowly. Ahhh that was so ghetto, it made me laugh.

****

I finished editing the video late last night, now the rest is sound fx and music which I'm dreading.

I don't know anything about sound, and frankly it shows in the sound of the dialogue. I'll just have to clean it up as best I can.

Back to work...

[Jaime V]

So, NOW I'm finished editing...for real this time...only thing left is music and titles and I still have a few days. Go me!

Since I'm so on top of things, I finally created a poster for this...I stuck it on the first page, but what the hell...I'll put it here too along with some grabs for your viewing pleasure:

Poster:

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159375069.jpghttp://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159375407.jpghttp://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159375489.jpghttp://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159407995.jpg

Grab 1: Why's he so happy?

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159373222.jpg

Grab 2: She doesn't look happy

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159373259.jpg

Grab 3: Yes, it's supposed to be blurry

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/17371/1159373277.jpg

That's all...thanks for stopping by.

*** edit...it would help if I had the right version of the poster up there... :P... fixed now.

[Ben Sliker]

like the poster dude, reminds me of maxpayne

[Jaime V]

thanks, I remember that game :)

I can see where you're going with that. When I did it, it made me think of reservoir dogs, myself.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Like the poster. I did the blood thing in bone hand ... all the blood on the door and the blood spilling from the shoryer thug's gut on the floor is photochop. I got a pooling effect with the blood by enlarging it and moving it slightlly over time.

[Jaime V]

Wasn't that shorter thug you? :)

Thanks for the tip, I'm gonna have to check out that part in Bone Hand in slo mo

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Yah t'was me.

[greeches]

Hope all is well in POST, fellow NC'r!

[Jaime V]

Hey thanks man, you too :)

I would say "stick a fork in me, I'm done" but I'm only 99.99% done.

The only thing that's holding me back is I can't decide between two soundtracks I put together. I'm going to make a decision and finalize it and render it this evening after work.

The good news is that I did a test render last night of the .mov version, and at 900kbps it was only like 39MB (total length is about 5:41). So I've got some room to turn up the quality a little.

I'm glad it's pretty much done though, creatively I'm spent! I need to recharge before my next project!

[gwmesler]

Hmmm. I'm going to have to renegotiate. I only got 2 years :0

[Jaime V]

lol, it's like buying a car...you gotta haggle :)

[Matt Sconce]

Matt Sconce's Review of the devil inside
SPOLIERS POSSIBLE!

Script
I liked the story. It had a ton of potential and a beginning middle and end.
Acting
I thought the acting was only okay. It pulled me out of the movie quite a few times, but didn't ruin it for me.
Cinematography
I think some framing changes would help this short. Maybe use more negative space to your advantage. I also think some more dramaitc lighting would have really set the mood.
Editing
I didn't notice anything I didn't like. I thought it worked well.
Overall Impressions
This is a great story and well told. I enjoyed it and was pleased to see the thought that went into it. Congrats on this!

[VersuS]

One of the smart films of HorrorFest. Seeing it after Meat made me realise that there are some people in here who know how to write good stories, genuine and shocking (in terms of twists).

I didnt like the sound (typical for a HorrorFest entry :( ) but the score was neat and I liked the end credits as well.
I enjoyed the acting in this one, it was very well planned and delivered. Some of the fx could do with a bit of polishing.

The basement sequence is GREAT! Fantastic lighting job!

[Jaime V]

Thank you msconce and VersuS for your feedback. I'm glad you both liked the story. I do have a long way to go, and a lot of technical stuff re: lighting and sound to learn (I didn't like the sound either VersuS hehe).

[Kholi]

Review | POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I watch the movies first time around strictly for enjoyment, second and third for review.

Just caught THE DEVIL INSIDE. Another H-fest entry with a workable, rounded story.

Script - I think that you had a solid concept. Tired, but solid. There was easily a beginning middle and an end to it. I think that you might've carried on too long, because a good portion wasn't needed. A lot of the dialogue was plastic/generic, which took me out of it all. But you did have a round story. Girl gets beat, devil shows up with offer, girl makes good on her deal, devil shows up and makes another person an offer. It's here we know it's an endless cycle when you deal with the Devil so it was round.

Direction - I think that you had some decent shots going on in the devil scenes. Otherwise, a bit of framing practice is in order. Sometimes the camera looked more surveillance than not.

Acting - Quite bad on all accounts aside from your sleazy Devil. He was pretty much okay as a cheesey representation of the devil. Can't do much on a budget but hey. Your actors do know how to stand still well, though.

Cine/Lighting - I'm surprised at the even lighting going on here. It actually stood out as the second best part in comparison to your script. Nothing was too extremely dark. I didn't dig the flashback scenes too much but otherwise, not bad.

Editing - I'm only good at commenting on what I see wrong with this subject. I think the entire thing could be sliced down and reworked for time, but that's just me.

Sound - Sound needs tweak. The score was punchy at the right times. Couldn't hear a lot of what was being said in the kitchen. Could benefit from sound work.

Special Effects/Art Direction/Wardrobe - Not sure if I really noticed much special effects aside from the bleeding mouth and the horns. Really simple.

Scariest Moments - Waiting for that dude to crack the chic with the baseball bat. I was waiting for it, dude.

Overall consensus - Not a bad entry. I don't think you'd reshoot, so I would recommend recutting for length. Cool deal, dude. Thanks for exhibiting.

[Michael_Petro]

Just watched your flick...

I loved the story.. :) and thought the devildude worked really well...
The scenes in the kitchen were hard to hear..
and no head cracking man were was the head cracking :) ok there was this one --> good expectation reversal..

[Jaime V]

Just caught THE DEVIL INSIDE. Another H-fest entry with a workable, rounded story.

Script - I think that you had a solid concept. Tired, but solid. There was easily a beginning middle and an end to it. I think that you might've carried on too long, because a good portion wasn't needed. A lot of the dialogue was plastic/generic, which took me out of it all. But you did have a round story. Girl gets beat, devil shows up with offer, girl makes good on her deal, devil shows up and makes another person an offer. It's here we know it's an endless cycle when you deal with the Devil so it was round.

Thanks, although one little thing: the girl didn't really make good on her end, she was trying to get out of it by offering two others. I guess if you didn't catch that, that points to a major flaw in my story/directing.




Direction - I think that you had some decent shots going on in the devil scenes. Otherwise, a bit of framing practice is in order. Sometimes the camera looked more surveillance than not.

Haha "surveillance" I like that. Yes, I definitely need practice in framing. Looking back, I didn't really have very dramatic shots or anything. I can only hope my second film is better.




Acting - Quite bad on all accounts aside from your sleazy Devil. He was pretty much okay as a cheesey representation of the devil. Can't do much on a budget but hey. Your actors do know how to stand still well, though.

Well, they're not really actors, so I can't fault them for that. They're the only friends who were willing to help out and step up.



Cine/Lighting - I'm surprised at the even lighting going on here. It actually stood out as the second best part in comparison to your script. Nothing was too extremely dark. I didn't dig the flashback scenes too much but otherwise, not bad.

Thanks.



Editing - I'm only good at commenting on what I see wrong with this subject. I think the entire thing could be sliced down and reworked for time, but that's just me.

I'd be interested to know where you think it dragged/could be cut.



Sound - Sound needs tweak. The score was punchy at the right times. Couldn't hear a lot of what was being said in the kitchen. Could benefit from sound work.

God, yes. I know zip about sound. A major flaw in my film.



Special Effects/Art Direction/Wardrobe - Not sure if I really noticed much special effects aside from the bleeding mouth and the horns. Really simple.

Yeah, I know zip about makeup/fx either, so I wanted to keep it simple. The only vfx was I greenscreened the Mary hitting Anne with the Baseball bat, because I didn't feel comfortable that it could be faked at real speed.



Scariest Moments - Waiting for that dude to crack the chic with the baseball bat. I was waiting for it, dude.

Overall consensus - Not a bad entry. I don't think you'd reshoot, so I would recommend recutting for length. Cool deal, dude. Thanks for exhibiting.

Thanks for the nice, honest, in depth review.

[Jaime V]

Just watched your flick...

I loved the story.. :) and thought the devildude worked really well...
The scenes in the kitchen were hard to hear..
and no head cracking man were was the head cracking :) ok there was this one --> good expectation reversal..

Thanks Michael, I'm glad you found it enjoyable, other than the sound.

[TheatreGuy]

Hey apollyon, I first want to apologize for not getting to your film sooner!!! I don't understand how I missed it. I guess I should have gone alphebetically!!!

I liked your story. I felt that you set it up nicely. The one thing that I would have done differently was to have maybe started out on (or showed a flash of it somewhere) a calander with the date circled. This only came to mind when she was downstairs and mention something like "this was the day" that the devils contract had come up. I think that it would have been a very interesting element. Especially if you opened on this in the beginning and then told your story. It would have been a nice "a-ha!" moment.

Secondly, I was confused by the second sacrifice. Why was there two people being offered up? Give the Devil a little bonus or something? Sweeten the deal? If so, I would have added this in her dialogue.

But I thought that you told the stroy well.

The cinematography was pretty dark and flat. Something that I am sure you will improve upon.

The framing of your subjects could be better. And at one point with the two ladies at the table, you broke the 180 rule. You had both women talking in the same direction. It's pretty subtle. I've seen a much worse violation of this rule in the fest, but I thought that I would bring it up.

The sound is just, um... well... it's awful. Sorry. I don't mean to be so rude. It was very difficult to understand your actors.

The actors did a servicable job, but I didn't enjoy their performances. I am an actor and I am always especially hard in this department.

There is a lot of good work that you did in your film. You told the story and that is not easy. You had some nice shots. The one from the basement looking up is real nice. And the flashback onto the intruder seq. is well done.

I don't know how many films you have under your belt, but i imagine that you are just starting out. If so, you did a fine job.

Congratulations on your work! I see promising potential here!!!

Looking forward to what you do next. Seriously!

Keep at it!

Ted

[Jaime V]

Hey apollyon, I first want to apologize for not getting to your film sooner!!! I don't understand how I missed it. I guess I should have gone alphebetically!!!

No apology necessary



I liked your story. I felt that you set it up nicely. The one thing that I would have done differently was to have maybe started out on (or showed a flash of it somewhere) a calander with the date circled. This only came to mind when she was downstairs and mention something like "this was the day" that the devils contract had come up. I think that it would have been a very interesting element. Especially if you opened on this in the beginning and then told your story. It would have been a nice "a-ha!" moment.

I tried to show this via her saying it happened "3 years ago today" and then her saying she only got 3 years. Obviously, it needs to be clearer I guess.



Secondly, I was confused by the second sacrifice. Why was there two people being offered up? Give the Devil a little bonus or something? Sweeten the deal? If so, I would have added this in her dialogue.

But I thought that you told the stroy well.



Yeah you're right...that was in the original, but didn't survive the cut...I should have done something with that.



The cinematography was pretty dark and flat. Something that I am sure you will improve upon.

The framing of your subjects could be better. And at one point with the two ladies at the table, you broke the 180 rule. You had both women talking in the same direction. It's pretty subtle. I've seen a much worse violation of this rule in the fest, but I thought that I would bring it up.

Yeah, I only realized I crossed the line when I was editing...and I was like...oh crap. Didn't have time to reshoot it.



The sound is just, um... well... it's awful. Sorry. I don't mean to be so rude. It was very difficult to understand your actors.

Saying my sound was awful is an insult to awful sound everywhere. I'm flattered that it even deserves an 'awful'.



The actors did a servicable job, but I didn't enjoy their performances. I am an actor and I am always especially hard in this department.

I understand. They aren't real actors, just my friends. I feel bad that I convinced them to do this for me...I hope they don't read this thread :-) I can't blame them...only myself. They put themselves out there in front of everyone for my project.



There is a lot of good work that you did in your film. You told the story and that is not easy. You had some nice shots. The one from the basement looking up is real nice. And the flashback onto the intruder seq. is well done.

I don't know how many films you have under your belt, but i imagine that you are just starting out. If so, you did a fine job.

Congratulations on your work! I see promising potential here!!!

Looking forward to what you do next. Seriously!

Keep at it!

Ted

Yeah, it's my first film. Thanks for taking the time to watch, and review Ted, I sincerely appreciate it. I will definitely be in the next fest...unless it's a musical ;-)

[TheatreGuy]

LOL!!! :grin: (musical comment!)

Well, great for you for getting your first film done and submitted. There are a lot of people who can't even say that!!!

And good for you for getting your friends to act in your film. That is not always easy to do! In the future, try posting casting notices. You have the skills to make a film (as you've shown) and actors ALWAYS love to be in films!!!

Go get 'em!

You did a great job, especially considering this was your first!

Ted

[Lingothree]

Hello -

Sorry it took me so long to get to your thread. Darn alphabet.

I really, really liked your story. And really liked the way it ended. Again, another one of the few that told a proper story and had a proper ending. I'm sorry if this has already been commented (no time to read all the threads now!!), but what really killed it for me was when the two lead actresses spelled out the story quite literally for us while drinking wine in the dining room. I didn't think that was necessary at all - the flashback for the most part gave us the backstory, so we didn't need the actresses to spell it all out in the dialogue.

Great work on your first try!

[Mark Harris]

Okay, what I don't quite understand is, why she brings the GUY downstairs, when she already has the GIRL to give to the Devil?

But that said, I LOVE this story. Kholi said it was tired, and yes, it's been done since the Twilight Zone, but it's still a very cool story. And you structured it well. I read this is the first thing you've shot. Is it the first thing you've written too?

Clearly you know the things that need work:

Sound, definitely. Sound sucks ass, and will be the bain of your existence for eternity, and will make you wish you were dead. It's ten times harder to control than the image. Just to let you know, it will be hard forever, so just hunker down and start practicing.

Acting. But I think you can help those actors along by cutting quicker and L-cuts, cutting to one actor while the other is speaking. I think you can really help their performances by getting us through the stuff we need to know and getting on with the story. I've salvaged some not so great performances that way in the past.

Also what Lingothree said about the exposition. Yes, you might clean some of that up, but it might also be aided with better acting, so that the one girl is USING THE STORY to ENTICE the other girl into helping her. In which case, you might play with some precondition on the scene, like the other girl has to go to yoga or something, and our girl has to CONVINCE her to stay. Just some ideas on activating that dialogue a little more, so it's not just one person explaining to the other.

And in general I think ALL of your cuts can be quicker. You can get a TON of information into the viewer's head in a split second - picture worth a thousand words and all that. So I would experiment with that.

But this was fun, I thought.

[Jaime V]

Lingo, Desperate,

Thanks for watching and thanks for the great advice. Yes, first time writing too. First time everything.

I think I see what you're saying about the cuts; I think that's great and now that you mention it, I can see it in others pieces, and see how it works. I had to google L-Cut heheh. :)

I'll work on that exposition too.

Thanks for taking the time to watch and post.

[jpbankesmercer]

Acting: Devil was great, who would have thought such an innocent looking girl could be such a heartless killer?
Script: Great twist.:thumbup:
Direction: Liked how you spiced it up.
Music: Liked the music thought the compression hurt you here on the voices. Damm QT! :(
Editing: Some tasty ideas here.
Lighting: Even.
Loved: The titles/ transitions, the first tracking shot although wanted a little less headroom, that slap Foley, (ouch!) The stop motion, (excellent idea), hitting her friend with the bat, didn’t see that coming, second set of stop-motions ,(I love this directorial device), the ending. The devil’s horns, (think it’s only you and me bud that went with the old horn cliché!:thumbup: )
Hated: Some of the framings, just too much room either at the sides or headroom.
Overall: O.K. the story was a little loose at times but I thought you brought everything around with a great ending and some nice direction. Good job!

J.P.

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS ON 'BROEKN CIRCLE' (THANKS)

[TheatreGuy]

apollyon, best of luck to you! I enjoyed the story you told and look forward to seeing you grow!

This has been a great fest!

Thanks so much!

Till the next one,

Ted

[jpbankesmercer]

Best of luck guys!