My first fest "Betrayed"

[Michael_Petro]

This movie is RATED R (PLBBG)

Good Times
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/thanks.mov

Latest Promo "Carli"
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/carlipromo.mov

http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/poster.jpg


************************************************** ***************************************
A huge THANKS to "The Embraced" for letting me use there music. CLICK the picture to check out there web site!
************************************************** ***************************************
http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/theembraced.jpg (http://www.myspace.com/theembraced)

The Latest behind the scenes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbYcEEt-bPc

http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/hfpromo2.jpg

*** Marge what the heck kinda movie is THIS!! close your eyes! ***

Carli says "Watch my movie ;) please ;)
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/wmm.jpg
Hey Whats your name?
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/makeout.jpg
Hi there
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/wmm2.jpg
This is My favorite gun :)
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/carligun.jpg
The Cast and Crew
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/castcrew.jpg


This is my first movie shoot. I've just done a couple of tv commercial(one was posted here)and some weddings. I dont do those any more since my I.T. company took off. So now I want to just make films. Boy have I learned allot. You want to make something nice you have to bust it. Fortunately I have some really good people working with me and that helps. They are willing to do just about anything. Get dirty get kyro syruped whatever the film needs. Also a local band her in Jax is letting me use there music and thats pretty cool, because they are really good. anyway its been fun but tiring. almost forgot the only person not in the pic is Christy Mullis the gore lady. She makes one nasty looking wound. Heres hoping I can make the film look half as good as the people are working in it.

Mike_Petro

[Mark Johnson]

They are willing to do just about anything.

That's probably the biggest key to success in this genre!!! WELCOME to the fest dude. I'm looking forward to see what you guys come up with.

[VersuS]

Say Michael....why did you boil the blood? I have no experience whatsoever with blood recipes..mine is bought (stage blood by Kryolan) and we don't boil it....is it part of home-made blood recipe or a standard trick to make the blood look/feel ....something....somewhat....help here!

[TimurCivan]

your tripod is AWESOME

[Michael_Petro]

that is a blood skin mix you need to boil it to make it pliable(looks real nasty). All the other blood is my homemade stuff kyro syrup etc...

[Michael_Petro]

***your tripo is AWESOME>****

thats my home made steadicam thingy... if you must know its a mic stand taped to a monopod :) whoa cool huh :)

really it helped steady the shots out real good.. we did a test running through the woods down a bike trail and the difference was amazing not steadicam but way better than with out it... I will see if I can find the test video's I made

[MOVIE STUNTS]

Nice BTS grabs some of the few out there i suspect... Looking forward to more.

[VersuS]

Thanx for the answer Michael!! I will try this !!!

[TheatreGuy]

Congrats on your entry, Michael! I know what you mean about learning a lot! I, too, have shot many events but not an actual film from start to finish. Started my test footage this past week. Whoa! So much to think about!

Good Luck! Looking forward to watching everyone's entry!

PS - I am going to have to try that mic stand idea!

[VersuS]

That mic stand idea is great, I have one lying around in my place so I will see if I can make it in time for our last scenes.

[Michael_Petro]

YES! unless there is something really bad, My filming is done. We fought off the rain with sticks and finnished :) Ohh! I'd like you all to meet my newest Cast member Ralph.

http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/Ralph2.jpg

[cinealma]

Yeah, I think I remember seeing him in Arachnophobia as Big Ass Spider #2. Great to see he's getting work again!


John G.

[Michael_Petro]

hahahaha for some reason that made me laugh :)

[Michael_Petro]

well time flys now dont it..

check out the latest behind the scenes with a crappy youtube video :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbYcEEt-bPc

[Matt Sconce]

well time flys now dont it..

check out the latest behind the scenes with a crappy youtube video :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbYcEEt-bPc

HAHAHAHA! I like the "I look similar sort of...Oh Maybe I Don't...." :thumbsup:

[Michael_Petro]

A huge THANKS to "The Embraced" for letting me use there music
http://www.myspace.com/theembraced

I could not have asked for a more fitting song. Please Check them out they are really good.

[Jarred Land]

good luck man :)

[Mark Harris]

Yeah, good luck.

[Michael_Petro]

I am having a blast making this. Its still a little long but I'm a choppin..Hope to at least get some good feedback so as I can better my filming. This is way different than commercials and weddings :)

[Mark Harris]

I am having a blast making this. Its still a little long but I'm a choppin..Hope to at least get some good feedback so as I can better my filming. This is way different than commercials and weddings :)

I dunno, my first wedding was like a horror film. And the marriage the TV spin-off!

Bu-dum-dum. I'll be here all week. Try the veal. :)

[Michael_Petro]

HAHAHAHAHAHA


//i'm rendering

[TimurCivan]

you guys look like youre having a ball making this movie. i cant wait.!!!!

[Michael_Petro]

3:25 am est rough edit clocked in 6min 2 seconds... good night all

TimurCivan* we are having a blast .. but its hard work I tell ya.. most days we shot film there were only three of us.. but one day we had 5 it was nice that day :)

[VersuS]

3:25 am est rough edit clocked in 6min 2 seconds... good night all

TimurCivan* we are having a blast .. but its hard work I tell ya.. most days we shot film there were only three of us.. but one day we had 5 it was nice that day :)

most of the time we're just 2 people shooting..

and most of 'love is the most deceptive feeling' was shot just by myself...shooting yourself can be fun :)

[TheatreGuy]

I dunno, my first wedding was like a horror film. And the marriage the TV spin-off!

Bu-dum-dum. I'll be here all week. Try the veal. :)
LOL! Was that your own wedding? Or one that you shot. Either way, not good news!


3:25 am est rough edit clocked in 6min 2 seconds... good night all

TimurCivan* we are having a blast .. but its hard work I tell ya.. most days we shot film there were only three of us.. but one day we had 5 it was nice that day :)
Wow! 5 on the set would be nice...

most of the time we're just 2 people shooting..

and most of 'love is the most deceptive feeling' was shot just by myself...shooting yourself can be fun :)
I'm shooting myself... in the FOOT!

Actually, it is going well but acting as the camera operator, sound engineer, set and wardrobe dresser, script supervisor, director and actor has been a CHORE!

Good luck with your film Michael... it's sounds like it is almost in the can! Can't wait to see it!

Ted

[cinealma]

Actually, it is going well but acting as the camera operator, sound engineer, set and wardrobe dresser, script supervisor, director and actor has been a CHORE!

Good luck with your film Michael... it's sounds like it is almost in the can! Can't wait to see it!

Ted

Ok, Vincent Gallo Jr. :thumbsup:


John G.

[TheatreGuy]

HAHAHAHA! I wouldn't mind some of his credits!

[Lingothree]

http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/hfpromo2.jpg

Mike_Petro

Now that is one badass promo photo.

[Michael_Petro]

Now that is one badass promo photo.

Thanks :) Been busy editing my ass off sorry I didnt see this earlier

[Michael_Petro]

Close your eyes grandma I added more pics to the start of this thread :) hope no ones offended :) well you might be if i posed :)

[conrad_johnson]

That guy with the camera on the mic stand looks like alec baldwin.:)

[Michael_Petro]

That guy with the camera on the mic stand looks like alec baldwin.:)

Well heres a story for ya.. In a marriott hotel in atlanta a cleaning lady was beside herself when she saw me.. until I told here I was mike the I.T. guy from jacksonville. She just smiled and walked off.. Man I should've signed her cart or something :)

[Ralph Oshiro]

Holy crap! I love this kinda sh*t! Looks like another fun-filled fest entry here! Campy-horror-sexploitation stuff just ROCKS! Looking forward to this one, man!

[Charli]

Step away from the ask. Two steps back. Hands in the air. Nice grabs.

[Jaime V]

lol nice photos on the front page...should be an interesting flick.

[Michael_Petro]

posted above

Alright time to get Serious. So here is my first attempt at a poster. $89.00 for PSP and here it is. I'm not the artist type so be kind

http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/poster.jpg

[TimurCivan]

im all about the red head.......

[Michael_Petro]

im all about the red head.......

thats my MOM dude...
errrr wait no its not.

[TimurCivan]

If that was your mom.... can i come over and "play"?

[Michael_Petro]

If that was your mom.... can i come over and "play"?

Hold on a sec........ MOM!!!!!!!................can timmy come over?..........WHAT?!......................ooo OK


she said she is busy trying to get the blood out from under her fingernails..and i need to clean the axe or something like that .. i'll get back with ya....

[TimurCivan]

haha... ok

[Tom Marshall]

Hold on a sec........ MOM!!!!!!!................can timmy come over?..........WHAT?!......................ooo OK


she said she is busy trying to get the blood out from under her fingernails..and i need to clean the axe or something like that .. i'll get back with ya....

Wow... whadda woman!

[VersuS]

HEY! 'betrayed' is written with the font I am using as well!! LOL! Actually I love this font, I used it for the tattoots I have on my hands.

[Michael_Petro]

HEY! 'betrayed' is written with the font I am using as well!! LOL! Actually I love this font, I used it for the tattoots I have on my hands.

Just picked it out of the blue.. I needed a poster and a DVD background :)

[VersuS]

Great choice! check out my thread for my poster, same font!

[Michael_Petro]

its a wrap party tonight :) should be fun i will post pics of Carli err the party later :)

[Michael_Petro]

Done! :) We had the wrap party last night went real good .. got up this mornig fixed one glaring sound problem re-encoded and done great feeling I tell ya. Now I just gotta get it to QT. The mpg looks great upressed to 16:9.. but qt is giving me the fits. qt pro doesnt take mpeg 2 Thats annoying.. Oh well ifigure something out

[VersuS]

Great News!!! Congratulations!!!

[Michael_Petro]

I not liking this QT you speak of.... 108 megs so far errr....

on a brighter note heres another promo shot
http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/carlifall2.jpg

[Brandon Rice]

Nice shot! You can't get your 6 min. to a managable size? Try 600kbs with 32 bit audio.

[Michael_Petro]

got it down to 76 megs gotta drop some more... yikes


heres what I'm doing if anybody's got a thought

rendered uncompressed from vegas

put in QT pro 400x225 fit within compresser set at medium and the sound is now set at 32k

[Brandon Rice]

Set it at a bit rate instead... like 800 kbs.

[Michael_Petro]

Hey i found the bit rate thing.. you mentioned that last time but i was blind apearently.. but i found it now trying 800 kbs and 32k audio .. thanks for the help dude...

[Brandon Rice]

cool, no prob.

[Michael_Petro]

Heather trayer

http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/heather2.jpg

[Michael_Petro]

************************************************** ***************************************
A huge THANKS to "The Embraced" for letting me use there music CLICK the picture to check out there web site!
************************************************** ***************************************
http://www.phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/theembraced.jpg (http://www.myspace.com/theembraced)

Guess the song I used and you win!

[Michael_Petro]

Its done kids.. 49.9 megs on the h.264 390kbs 24k audio.


Change some pics up top.

heres one I call you got something in your eye

http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/swimtime.jpg

and of course carli's favorite gun :)

http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/carligun2.jpg

[Ralph Oshiro]

Chicks with chicks, and chicks with guns in their mouths . . . doesn't get any better than that for that camp horror aesthetic! LOVE IT!

[Michael_Petro]

Chicks with chicks, and chicks with guns in their mouths . . . doesn't get any better than that for that camp horror aesthetic! LOVE IT!

Thought I should clear up what type of movie this is.

While there are chicks with chicks and chicks with guns etc It is definatly not campy..(except maybe one scene) It is a what i would call .. a supernatural horror thriller... but thats what i called my wedding :) JK . I had so much fum making my first fest film I thought I would post the goofy stuff I caught on tape. Mostly I thought that if I posted clips from the film it would be to much of a spoiler(5:57 runtime is real short)..especially the gore scenes as I dont have many of those.

[Matt Sconce]

I am excited to see what you pull off with this. I loved your enthusiasm coming in and the way you kept us updated. I bet the cast is going to be so happy with the final product.

[Michael_Petro]

I am excited to see what you pull off with this. I loved your enthusiasm coming in and the way you kept us updated. I bet the cast is going to be so happy with the final product.


Thanks man I am still exited about the film .. its was a definite departure from weddings...

I started making the dvd's to hand out to all those involved hope to get some DVD extras in there as well.(wait already got the gag reel.some of those pics i've posted)

Cant wait for the feedback.. been learning alot hope to learn some more..........

[Michael_Petro]

Hey check out Carli's new promo spot :) it's kinda cute.. it was supposed to be funny sexy sorta somethin''.......

http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/carlipromo.mov

[Michael_Petro]

I was just checking out my Film for the billioth time and I was thinking about the gear I used, especially dolling the camera around since I have no tracks or a crane.

lets see I used
a magazine,a pillow, Grandma's wheelchair,a piece of cardboard, a rope(tied to the handle(i think that seen got chopped)), That crazy monopod taped to the mic stand thing, Sitting on the front of my van and hanging off the side going 45MPH(stupid I know but the shot looks great)oh and MY CHEST( I still have scrathes on my back really) everything else was handheld except for one tripod shot iwas trying to keep the camera moving...

hope this was of interest to someone :) oh yeah check out carli's new promo from previous post :)

[Michael_Petro]

Alright I'm ready to start watching some films :) I'm pretty excited to see what you have all done.

**Shameless Film Promotion**
Hi There
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/wmm2.jpg
Look A dude! ewwww
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/wmm.jpg

[TimurCivan]

carli's promo spot reminds me of a BangBros trailer...... Dont act like you dont know what im talking bout........

;)

[Michael_Petro]

carli's promo spot reminds me of a BangBros trailer...... Dont act like you dont know what im talking bout........

;)

Bangbros?? man, Once I Found there website, I had go through 20 or 30 of those trailers before I found one that was even remotely close to Carli's promo and wasn't no where near it... I'll keep looking mabye i can find that one your talking about :)

[Michael_Petro]

Man What does one have to do to get a good star rating..

I'v read just about every thread posted on alot
I've posted BTS photos and videos
changed pics on the top of the forum
bloody chicks, kissing chicks,naked chicks(just pretend the black square is'nt there)
I even made fun of the MOVIE MASTER(to my own peril i might add!!)!

said all that to say CHECK OUT

"BETRAYED" its a violation of sanity!



//dear MR Movie Master the above was an attempt at humor please dont hurt me:)

[Michael_Petro]

added to top of thread..enjoy!...NOW watch "BETRAYED" :)
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/makeout.jpg

[luster]

is she kissing a dead guy/girl?

[TimurCivan]

carli's promo spot reminds me of a BangBros trailer...... Dont act like you dont know what im talking bout........

;)

Bangbros?? man, Once I Found there website, I had go through 20 or 30 of those trailers before I found one that was even remotely close to Carli's promo and wasn't no where near it... I'll keep looking mabye i can find that one your talking about :)


its hard work.... but someones gotta do it.

[Michael_Petro]

is she kissing a dead guy/girl?


hmmmm?? I not sure :) but there is one way you can find out :)

[Michael_Petro]

[QUOTE=Michael_Petro]


its hard work.... but someones gotta do it.


well...It was pretty tough..... HEY that reminds me i need to buy some chicken.

[Michael_Petro]

Carli- Heather-Jason actor/actress
Christy- The makeup FX Lady
Mike_Petro- Everything else


http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/castcrew.jpg

Not pictured Danny (Mr one day mic holder)Cahan

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

saw the grabs ... gulp ... definately on my must see list :)

[Michael_Petro]

saw the grabs ... gulp ... definately on my must see list :)


Well I hope you like it.... and thanks for watching

[gwmesler]

You can bet I'm going to "Watch your movie :)"

[Mark Harris]

No No No, the rule is, it's cool if your girl macks down on another girls.









As long as you can watch. :)

[Michael_Petro]

No No No, the rule is, it's cool if your girl macks down on another girls.









As long as you can watch. :)

Being a youngster of 40 i had to look up mack down..... whew i'm getting old

[Kholi]

Review | POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I watch the movies first time around strictly for enjoyment, second and third for review.

Hey guys. So.. I went into this one without reading your thread prior and I didn't know what to expect. I think, for safety's sake, we should've rated these Horror-fest Films. Yours is an R at the very least, definitely. Not saying that's bad, though.

Script - I think it qualifies as horror on the spirit-revenge merit, otherwise I can't see it as horror. On paper I think it might be suffering from deep thought. It felt like angst. Even in a five minute short contest, when you've got three months to prepare you can really dig into character development. Even give us whys and how comes which I didn't see at all.

Direction - Working. The "in-the-woods" following scenes weren't bad. It was hard to tell if I were voyeuring in on parts from camera POV. The aerial camera shot in the woods was a neat addition. Way to climb a tree. Might have to work on shot choices a lot more in the future. Each one really does count.

Acting - Your actresses are brave. Really long make-out sessions and getting half-naked. I wasn't all for it, but I'm sure someone else'll like the part where she carries the pistol to his room. The acting over all was a weak point. But congratulate them on the effort. Doing stuff like that in front of the camera takes guts.

Cine/Lighting - Didn't really see any. Did you use available light and call it a day? I can understand it on a budget, so I'm not really hanging on this at all. Even a few creative light choices that cost say five bux will work. I saw another user using an actual desk lamp to get his lighting and it looked great. A little extra can go a long way when applied right.

Editing - Lots of blurs and effects. Really distracting for the most part. First, second, and third time around. But it's an excercise and everyone will benefit. Even me and I didn't even get around to entering my own.

Sound - Microphone picked up voices well. I was in headphones so I heard it. I also heard the music a lot more than anything they were saying. The music is very distracting, and almost pulls me back to an Evanessence video when applied with the visuals. Soundtrack didn't really work for me. But it's a choice and I'm sure you made the right one for yourself. The chopping sounds were also off at one point.

Special Effects - Blood looked like blood.

Scariest Moments - The part where I thought the guy was gonna get hit by the van. Which was an okay way to say "he's dead".

Overall consensus - A little too R-Rated for me. I think the delivery/presentation needed to be stronger along with the script. This is a time for learning afterall. Take my review with a grain, cause hey... I didn't even make it into the contest! Good luck and thanks for entering!

[Kholi]

Review | POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT! I watch the movies first time around strictly for enjoyment, second and third for review.

Hey guys. So.. I went into this one without reading your thread prior and I didn't know what to expect. I think, for safety's sake, we should've rated these Horror-fest Films. Yours is an R at the very least, definitely. Not saying that's bad, though.

Script - I think it qualifies as horror on the spirit-revenge merit, otherwise I can't see it as horror. On paper I think it might be suffering from deep thought. It felt like angst. Even in a five minute short contest, when you've got three months to prepare you can really dig into character development. Even give us whys and how comes which I didn't see at all.

Direction - Working. The "in-the-woods" following scenes weren't bad. It was hard to tell if I were voyeuring in on parts from camera POV. The aerial camera shot in the woods was a neat addition. Way to climb a tree. Might have to work on shot choices a lot more in the future. Each one really does count.

Acting - Your actresses are brave. Really long make-out sessions and getting half-naked. I wasn't all for it, but I'm sure someone else'll like the part where she carries the pistol to his room. The acting over all was a weak point. But congratulate them on the effort. Doing stuff like that in front of the camera takes guts.

Cine/Lighting - Didn't really see any. Did you use available light and call it a day? I can understand it on a budget, so I'm not really hanging on this at all. Even a few creative light choices that cost say five bux will work. I saw another user using an actual desk lamp to get his lighting and it looked great. A little extra can go a long way when applied right.

Editing - Lots of blurs and effects. Really distracting for the most part. First, second, and third time around. But it's an excercise and everyone will benefit. Even me and I didn't even get around to entering my own.

Sound - Microphone picked up voices well. I was in headphones so I heard it. I also heard the music a lot more than anything they were saying. The music is very distracting, and almost pulls me back to an Evanessence video when applied with the visuals. Soundtrack didn't really work for me. But it's a choice and I'm sure you made the right one for yourself. The chopping sounds were also off at one point.

Special Effects - Blood looked like blood.

Scariest Moments - The part where I thought the guy was gonna get hit by the van. Which was an okay way to say "he's dead".

Overall consensus - A little too R-Rated for me. I think the delivery/presentation needed to be stronger along with the script. This is a time for learning afterall. Take my review with a grain, cause hey... I didn't even make it into the contest! Good luck and thanks for entering!

[Michael_Petro]

OUCH my chin hurts :)

** I think, for safety's sake, we should've rated these Horror-fest Films. Yours is an R at the very least, definitely. **

Agreed thats why I posted that first thing at the top of the thread


*** Script - I think it qualifies as horror on the spirit-revenge merit, otherwise I can't see it as horror. ***

agreed again thats why i called it... a supernatural suspense horror thing.

*** Direction - Working. The "in-the-woods" following scenes weren't bad. It was hard to tell if I were voyeuring in on parts from camera POV. The aerial camera shot in the woods was a neat addition. Way to climb a tree. Might have to work on shot choices a lot more in the future. Each one really does count. ***

I shot the same scenes multiple times. tough choices i'll get better :) i think:)



*** The acting over all was a weak point. But congratulate them on the effort. Doing stuff like that in front of the camera takes guts. ***

I'm gonna put up Carli's demo.. she was amazing and when you see it i think you will see what i mean (gotta hone my script writing and director skills)

*** Cine/Lighting - Didn't really see any. Did you use available light and call it a day? I can understand it on a budget, so I'm not really hanging on this at all. Even a few creative light choices that cost say five bux will work. I saw another user using an actual desk lamp to get his lighting and it looked great. A little extra can go a long way when applied right. ****

This one through me.. I had lighting out the wazoo it was so freaking hot in that room we where all sweateing.


*** Sound - Microphone picked up voices well. I was in headphones so I heard it. I also heard the music a lot more than anything they were saying. The music is very distracting, and almost pulls me back to an Evanessence video when applied with the visuals. Soundtrack didn't really work for me. But it's a choice and I'm sure you made the right one for yourself. ****

The music was on purpose. At one point I was trying it with no dialogue.


*** The chopping sounds were also off at one point.**

Yeah caught that after I uploaded but i tell everyone its bone cracking :)


*** Special Effects - Blood looked like blood. ***

made it my self :)

*** Scariest Moments - The part where I thought the guy was gonna get hit by the van. Which was an okay way to say "he's dead". ***

Thats cool I didn't think I had a scary moment :)

*** Overall consensus - A little too R-Rated for me. I think the delivery/presentation needed to be stronger along with the script. ***


Thanks for watching and taking the time to post I appreciate it.



__________________

[Kholi]

On the lighting - maybe it was just really flat? It really seemed like the room lights but maybe that was the point?

No problem. Thanks for entering!

[Michael_Petro]

On the lighting - maybe it was just really flat? It really seemed like the room lights but maybe that was the point?

No problem. Thanks for entering!


maybe i was throwing the light the wrong .. i had a tenency to reflect it off the ceiling to wash the room...

[gwmesler]

OK you got me. Sex sells.

[Michael_Petro]

OK you got me. Sex sells.

Does that mean it wasn;t any good?

[VersuS]

Michael, just watched Betrayed.

It was OK. I found the story interesting, remined me of Les Diaboliques!
The score was nice, nice songs.
It had nice editing, smooth and the story was running in a nice format, not boring in any part. I really liked the shots in the car and with the guy on the road.

The sound was a bit off sometimes, when she sees the guy and fires the gun in the woods, at one point she's holding the gun in a way that she's not firing it yet we hear a gun shot.

The blood was nice when she was chopping him but the sound didnt remind me of a body getting chopped...not that i've witnessed such an act ;)

The screenplay was somewhat strange...ok there is the general idea of the murder of a guy and the two lovers and the ghost hunting them but I believe there was still some work to be done to make it more concrete.

In terms of acting, knowing how hard it is to get real actors I cant say much, they delivered their parts OK and I liked the fact that they showed commitment by going all the way.
However I have to say that the nudity was unnecessary. Dont get me wrong, I know how to appreciate a lady's body but in this concept and in this story I found the nude scenes kinda out of context. You could just have gone with the semi-nude or the underwear stead of showing it all. This is just cause I wouldnt want my movie to put people out of focus coz believe me this will do that!

[Michael_Petro]

**** However I have to say that the nudity was unnecessary. Dont get me wrong, I know how to appreciate a lady's body but in this concept and in this story I found the nude scenes kinda out of context. You could just have gone with the semi-nude or the underwear stead of showing it all. This is just cause I wouldnt want my movie to put people out of focus coz believe me this will do that! ****


funny you should say that .. there are two nude scenes both where supposed to get you the idea that they where nude but not show you. The first was when she walked in the bathroom she was supposed to be inside the door before the bra came off but we got a glimpse anyway.. the other when she sits up in the tub, the original cut was cropped so you could not see anything ( I figured enticing was better). but a funny thing happened if you look at the gun at the bottom of the handle there is twist T for tightening the C02 cartrage and it was glaring right in the camera.(everthing I did was handheld so i was focused on framing the shot and never noticed the gun until i started editing). So I recropped it brought the new cut over her house and asked her if it was OK ... I personally liked the end sequence (the music and all) and would have redone it if she asked, and thats how it got in there.

Thanks for watching and commenting I spent alot of time making this ..so when I go again It will be nice to do it more efficiantly and hopefully better..

[penfever]

Michael:
First of all, congratulations on your first DVXFest. Hopefully, the first of many. This is a great community to make films in, nowhere else can you get the sometimes brutal, often random, and always arbitrary feedback that makes this community interesting, at worst, and with a little humility, very useful indeed.

On to my thoughts -
I really think you have the core of a strong story here, if not a remarkably original one. Revenge is a great motivator, as is the idea of the dead coming back to haunt the living - heck, ghost stories are something everyone can relate to.
That said, the execution is a definite hallmark of inexperience. It looks a lot like the earliest films I made with my DVX. The lighting is very flat, and there's little definition of camera length. With limited depth of field, those are probably your strongest cinematographic tools - think carefully when you use them.
The long and medium shots that fill this film don't really convey the intensity of the emotion or the performances - use editing and close-ups next time to really hit those high points. An audience has to be guided, invited - they're not going to make the whole journey by themselves.
Sound recording was poor - was it an onboard mic? If so, your very next investment should be a Sennheiser shotgun mic, or at the very least an Audio-Technica. It costs a fraction of what you already paid for your DVX, and it's a must for quality filmmaking.
The usage of music in film should never be as a crutch to cover bad transitions, weak performances, or a general lack of excitement in the film (which is not to say that's what it's doing here). But I do suggest strongly that you watch a cut of this movie with no music at all (maybe no sound), and see if it holds your attention as well. If not, your music is only hurting your film, not helping it.
Also, be careful with dissolves - hard cuts are nearly always preferable. Dissolves indicate passage of time (typically) and they have a softness which tends to drag down pace.
Anyhow, thanks for making a film, I enjoyed watching it, and see you next fest.
-Ben

[Lingothree]

Hey Michael -

Whoa - that was a whole lotta ladykissin'.

For the most part, I have to echo what's been said. All the elements (cinematography, sound, score, acting) were okay, but I didn't see anything really fantastic in those areas (but also nothing really horrible) - but that's pretty typical for first time out, right?

I didn't really understand why you had the voiceover in there halfway through, and then it just went away. What are your thoughts on that?

I really liked the circular camera movement in the forest - made it very apparent that the girlfriend had just kind of disappeared.

Kudos to your actors for putting themselves out there.

Sounds like you had a lot of fun making this - good work!

[Michael_Petro]

**** Sound recording was poor - was it an onboard mic? If so, your very next investment should be a Sennheiser shotgun mic, or at the very least an Audio-Technica. It costs a fraction of what you already paid for your DVX, and it's a must for quality filmmaking. *****

I use a Superlux Cm-h8A Sound (http://www.soundonsound.com/sos/Jan02/articles/superluxmics.asp)

My main problem is these two little switches on the cam have to be set right :) when i would do the running scenes I would use the camera mic but when we would get back to the other I would forget to switch back..hence when evr we started filming the cast would say IS THE MIC ON ( and they did it all the time even when where eating dinner :) )


Thanks for watching

[Michael_Petro]

Hey Michael -

** Whoa - that was a whole lotta ladykissin'. ***

Had to keep doing retakes ..not sure why wierd huh??? :) JK

**** For the most part, I have to echo what's been said. All the elements (cinematography, sound, score, acting) were okay, but I didn't see anything really fantastic in those areas (but also nothing really horrible) - but that's pretty typical for first time out, right? ****

Since it was my first film I thought i'd go linier story line just to get it right. I told everone in the film it was atypical

**** I didn't really understand why you had the voiceover in there halfway through, and then it just went away. What are your thoughts on that? ***

The voice over came late. I had a good minute of just visual which is ok but i thought it needed something...


*** I really liked the circular camera movement in the forest - made it very apparent that the girlfriend had just kind of disappeared. ****

Yeah my second favorite scene! I thought it really worked good we where all barefooted walking on hot street to keep things quit

*** Kudos to your actors for putting themselves out there. ***

Sounds like you had a lot of fun making this - good work!

(edit)(YIKES read in the blue square)

Had a blast but it was very exausting lots of conflicting scedules


Thanks for watching and thanks for your comments :)

[jpbankesmercer]

Acting: Young actors that went for it, just a little inexperienced. But the girls tried hard a selling a difficult theme.
Script: Not bad, not amazing but you told a story!
Direction: Good choice of shot’s.
Music: A little eighties at the beginning but liked the last track.
Editing: Flowed.
Lighting: Wanted to lift just a little but some was nice.
Loved: Your logo! The fact you opened with two lesbians kissing and taking their tops off…:) You gotta have nuts to go for that PROPS++++ The low walking shots, the kissing, (Joke!), but I did love it, :) :) Why was he so mad? How you laid the title in so late, first gunshot made me jump liked how you brought it in so early, slow-mo (Really nice), overhead shot (in the tree?), bloodbath scene showed nice anguish, the fact you threw in one last boob shot. Props to the actress for having the guts to do it.
Hated: Wanted a grittier sound on the chopping, thought she cleaned up a little too fast, the fact she took the gun with her (he was dead, how many people does she want to kill?), the later gunshot Foley’s, maybe because they were in quick succession, wanted a better muzzle flash, the quick ghost fade,
Overall: A good short.


Really great for a first film, keep at it guys.

J.P.

[Michael_Petro]

jpbankesmercer

Thanks for the kind words and thanks for watching!

[luster]

good work.

i thought this movie was way cool in a exploitative, low budge, cult horror kind of way.

i think this movie could be really popular in some circles - it kind of reminds me of the stuff that was coming out of the lower east side in the 80s

the music, and acting, and camera moves really added to the feel.

one thing about the script that you might consider is adding something in the beginning that lets us know that one of the girls on the room is the guys girlfriend.

my favorite part is the girl in the tub holding the gun up to her head - i really like the way it went with the music.

[Michael_Petro]

Thanks Luster, and thanks for mentioning my favorite scene the gun to the head with the music.. Originally it was her screaming , then the makeup girl (Christy Mullis) turned me on to this local band (theEmbraced.net) and when I heard that song "Coma" I was like perfect.

Thanks for watching and making my night with your comments :)

[Matt Sconce]

Okay Michael, I watched your film as one of my first of the festival because I liked your hype and honesty and I must say that for your first attempt at this, you did really well! I want to post a detailed review for ya!
Matt Sconce's Review of Betrayed
*****POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW********

Script
I totally see where the story was going and I like the vengeance theme, but I think its gets a little confusing near the end. Just unraveled a bit in the forest, but then came back together for the last scene with the gun in the tub. I think there is a lot of potential lurking here.
Acting
I thought Heather was a little stiff in the acting and that the others did pretty good! I respect them for being brave and putting it all on the line. They are definitely die hard actors! hang on to them!
Cinematography
There was some nice stuff here. I thought the scene where she shoots him was well done. I also freakin LOVED LOVED LOVED the scene where they are headed toward them on the road and then go through him. Good stuff! I would light more moody. the way I would do it, is pump a 1000 watt at the actors from the area the light would be coming from, and then shoot the other 1000 watt (Both with a softbox for diffusion or a sheet to diffuse the light) toward them from much farther away. Or if the room is small, shine the second light away from them and then bounce the light back to fill. More light, click a ND filter on, lower the master PED to about -7 and I think your images will rock!
Editing
Definitely stick with straight cuts, and avoid the fades and such unless it is a purposeful choice of transition for a reason. Location or time change. Good job here though. it flowed well together. Some minor sound issues like the gunshot when the gun was away and stuff, but pretty good!
Score
The music at the end was awesome as was the acting.
Overall Impressions
I enjoyed your film, thought it flowed well, give props to you and your crew, and want to let you know you have definite talent and I hope you keep on making movies, as they will just keep getting better! Congratulations on completing this movie!!!!

[Michael_Petro]

hey msconce thanks for the review.. I think after this fest is over I am going to do some test filming with different light setups since everyone is mentioning it, it must need wome work. It wasn't for lack of lights I tell ya, 'cuz I still got the tan form them:) must just be the way....eh I will figure it out :)

*** Overall Impressions
I enjoyed your film, thought it flowed well, give props to you and your crew, and want to let you know you have definite talent and I hope you keep on making movies, as they will just keep getting better! Congratulations on completing this movie!!!! ***

DUDE after seeing your movie I'm amazed at your comment. thank you :)

[macintosh]

CINEMATOGRAPHY:

Great shots, your use of the dolly was effective in the beginning and definitely gave it a better feel then just leaving the camera static. Also the shots following around Jason when he went into the kitchen and then back to their door were very smooth. Again I liked how you didn't just stay static and pan around him. The driving shot where the camera is first near the road and then comes up to show the women driving was awesome, I loved it. The shots in the woods were great, I saw a picture of the rig that you used and it definitely worked well. As far as lighting goes, the interior shots seemed very flat, but you did a good job of keeping control of exposure outside.

EDITING:

Very smooth. I didn't feel like any of the cuts were out of place, or that you should've cut the film any differently. The cuts to the flashback scenes were nicely done, the only one that seemed slightly rough was the first one when she got out of the car. But other then that, nicely placed.

SOUND:

At times the actors audio seemed low in comparison to the background noise, and then sometimes it seemed very loud. I'd say make sure to keep your eye on the VU meter in your editing program so that the audio levels stay consistent. I liked how you made sure that things that made noise were heard. The little things like the trunk opening, or the leaves and branches on the ground breaking. Some of the sound effects were a little off, such as a few of the gunshots, but I didn't notice that until the 2nd time I watched it.

SCORE:

The score definitely matched the feeling of this film and I felt that it worked almost perfectly in the beginning. It's awesome how you were able to get permission to use the music that you chose.

SCREENPLAY:

I definitely understand the idea, and for the most part you pulled it off quite well. I definitely expected Jason to be the one that shot someone, but you surprised me when I saw the woman in the bathroom shooting him.

ACTING:

While the acting wasn't 100% it was good to see your actors at least going for it. I thougt that Jason's reaction to seeing the women together was kinda weak. I realize that it was a shock to see that, I was still expecting him to yell or appear more angry rather then depressed. I was a little disappointed in the womens acting, a lot seemed fake. I got the impression that they were putting their all into the roles, but they just didn't really become the characters which held back the realism a little bit.

Overall, I think you did a good job. I can tell that you've got the basic's down, and that you understand what works and what doesnt. With that being said, there's definitely room for improvement and entering these fest's are a great place to help you with that. I know that your work will keep improving and I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

[Michael_Petro]

Thanks macintosh for watching and the comments

** Great shots, your use of the dolly was effective **
Grandma's wheel chair worked then cool :)

*** The driving shot where the camera is first near the road and then comes up to show the women driving was awesome, I loved it. ***

At this point I am hanging out the van side door holding on to the roof rack with one hand and the DVX in the other. I tell heather dirve about 20 and look straight ahead. well that was bad advice cuz she didnt look at the speedometer she was pushing 45-50 MPH. YIKES! but I thought it looked cool :)

Hey thanks again for watching.

[Aaron Marshall]

I fail to understand why the girlfriend shot the boyfriend. It's not like he was keeping her from doing anything. He seemed expendable. What motivated her to kill him? For the stories sake, instead of going to the kitchen and throwing a toddler tantrum, he should have went into the bedroom and beat the hell out of her. This way you feel some sort of justification.

It did have a cult horror kind of feel to it like Ginger Snaps. The acting was extremely poor. The music made me feel like I was watching Degrassi.

[TheatreGuy]

Michael, can you point me to where I can watch your film?

I saw this earlier when I was just devouring films and taking it all in. I want to watch it again and give you my critique.

Please PM me if you can direct me. I use a mac and have been using mirror 2 (until suspended) then mirror 4 (which won't show your film) and lately mirror 5/6 (but don't see it listed there)

Thanks!

Ted

[Michael_Petro]

its a conspiricy i tell ya... anyone got a copy? i,m not at home..

[TheatreGuy]

Wait a minute!!! I can't find it anywhere!

What's going on?

I have comments for you but I really wanted to see it again.

I have to head out for the evening but I'll check when I get back.

Weird!

Ted

[Michael_Petro]

Wait a minute!!! I can't find it anywhere!

What's going on?

I have comments for you but I really wanted to see it again.

I have to head out for the evening but I'll check when I get back.

Weird!

Ted
ITS back YEAH!

[Gord.T]

This is the first one that started getting me pumped. Loved the aggression and the music. Felt like sticking it in the bigger surround system and just f...n crankin it. This thing gets me going and wish it was longer. Friggin loved it and it will find a home in my bigger system for sure. Gotta go play this again. Right on.

edit: I have a tech question. How did you do the camera shot 1:46 thru 1:57. Where it is outside the car, moves up and pans in?

[Michael_Petro]

This is the first one that started getting me pumped. Loved the aggression and the music. Felt like sticking it in the bigger surround system and just f...n crankin it. This thing gets me going and wish it was longer. Friggin loved it and it will find a home in my bigger system for sure. Gotta go play this again. Right on.

edit: I have a tech question. How did you do the camera shot 1:46 thru 1:57. Where it is outside the car, moves up and pans in?

DUDE YOU MADE MY DAY :)

Heres the Van SHot

At this point I am hanging out the van side door holding on to the roof rack with one hand and the DVX in the other. I tell heather dirve about 20 and look straight ahead. well that was bad advice cuz she didnt look at the speedometer she was pushing 45-50 MPH. YIKES! but I thought it looked cool

[TheatreGuy]

Hey Michael!

It's BACK!!! :)

I am glad that I got to watch your film again. I must tell you, for your first film, I think you did good. (It isn't easy, is it??? :) ) But you told a story from one end to the other and that in itself is a huge accomplishment!!!

I liked your story and I liked your attempt to do some original shots. My favorite is the Van shot. I was wondering the same thing and then saw the above post. ARE YOU CRAZY??? OMG!!! I may do that with a cheap-o camera, but I can't believe you did that with your DVX. I hope that was the last shot you needed for the fil, just in case!!! (but I am sure that I know the answer to that!)

It MUST be covered by insurance... wow! Risky, but what a great shot!!!

I also liked the very simple but effective camera circleling the girls and girl disappears shot. I wasn't expecting it and it worked.

The music rocked. I felt it and I liked it.

The story was told and I like the idea.

I think that the writing and performances could be better.

I think that the camera work could be better. There were some nice shots... the ones mentioned and some not, like the move in the kitchen with the guy getting beer, the guy walking with the camera low to the ground and others.

And the lighting could be better. I felt that a lot of the images were flat.

Overall, I thought that you did a good job. I hope that you are going to make more films and I look forward to watching you grow!

Good job and congrats!!!

Ted


PS - the monopod on a mic stand looked pretty damn steady!!! Nice work!!!

[Michael_Petro]

Thanks for checking it out and commenting

*** ARE YOU CRAZY??? OMG!!! I may do that with a cheap-o camera, but I can't believe you did that with your DVX. ****

I'm crazy

*** wow! Risky, but what a great shot!!! ***

My personel favorite as well that and the end seen with the gun.

*** I think that the writing and performances could be better. ***

This bugs me to no end ( NOT your statement ) The scenes behind the van after heather sees jason in the tub was just thrown in there to make sure the story flowed. I had originally had an inside the van scene and it was worse.... I think the circular mation scene carli acted really well.. I guess what i'm trying to say is If I wrote a smidgen better it would not have seemed so flat.. Carli screen tested really good and when i get time I'm gonna post some of it... .... Another problem I had was what I wrote was not what you see in the Film I kept changing it cuz It didnt look right or something.( I'm new)

What I was trying to do was keep the camera and the scenes moving trying to make sure people who watched never got bored, and kept watching till the end, even if they didn't like it(obviously this material doesn't suit evryone) I hope I got that cuz then its fine tuning to make better stuff.

***PS - the monopod on a mic stand looked pretty damn steady!!! Nice work!!! ***

You should see the shots without out it .. It's amazing how different they are..also I found that holding it with one hand worked the best.

Thank again MR theatreguy

[VersuS]

Michael I read your 'trying to move the camera around not to get people bored'...I understand your thinking but I've been there myself and in my opinion, camera movement and change of angles/frames doesnt always make for a more interesting movie. My advice would be to stick to your script even though you'd feel it would bore some coz like my english teacher used to say, the first thing that comes to your head will always be the right thing, second guessing will only get you to a dead end. Of course I m not suggesting trying to perfect your work, but dont underestimate your vision. Also, camera movement means nothing by itself. Static scenes that have a great dialogue or extreme tension in their content can make the viewer hold on tight to his chair. And to use a metaphor since its been a while:

Which is more interesting, watching an F1 car do a whole lap from all the angles and helicopter views etc, or just see a static shot from the start/finish line where a car makes a move to another to pass it?

Hope I'm not getting boring with my metaphors...lol.

:)

[cinealma]

I hope this review comes off more as constructive rather than harsh. But, here goes:

TONS OF TALENT here behind the camera. You definitely have a knack for shooting. I think a previous reviewer said it reminded him of late 80's/early 90's New York indies. To me, it also kind of had a Gregg Araki vibe to it.

But there were just a little too many horror film cliches. The script was little too vague as to the main characters motivation. And I really didn't like anybody in the film (not the actors, the characters I'm talking about). I just assume they all off each other and the world can get on with itself.

It kind of reminded me a bit of a music video with a narrative storyline.

But again, I think the talent is there. You just didn't have a very good script/story to work with here.


John G.

[TheatreGuy]

To comment on the camera movement issue... MY FILM HAS ONLY ONE MOVING SHOT AND THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! The TILT up onto my face at the end was not shot like that to be use but I liked it, needed it and used it.

My point is, though I don't have a perfect film (I knew that I wouldn't... not on the first try!) but not having a crew limited me on camera moves. So, I created the "movement" with editing and pacing.

Just throwing that out there! :)

[Michael_Petro]

*** TONS OF TALENT here behind the camera. You definitely have a knack for shooting. I think a previous reviewer said it reminded him of late 80's/early 90's New York indies. To me, it also kind of had a Gregg Araki vibe to it. ***

I think you are being a lttle to harsh there MR .....:) thanks dude appreciate that comment.

*** But there were just a little too many horror film cliches. The script was little too vague as to the main characters motivation. And I really didn't like anybody in the film (not the actors, the characters I'm talking about). I just assume they all off each other and the world can get on with itself. ***

I decided after my first intial test shoots to make it sorta generic (told the cast the same thing) and work on the camera

*** It kind of reminded me a bit of a music video with a narrative storyline. ***

sorta what I was thinking.. I think some aspects worked and others didn't.

*** But again, I think the talent is there. You just didn't have a very good script/story to work with here. ***

thanks for your comments :) and I gotta work on that script writing since everyone brings it up must be something to it :)

[Michael_Petro]

*** Which is more interesting, watching an F1 car do a whole lap from all the angles and helicopter views etc, or just see a static shot from the start/finish line where a car makes a move to another to pass it? ***

Depends on how you do it I watched a chess game filmed and it was great... as theatre guy proved static shots and creativity with no camera movement can work great..


(edit) hey thats creepy i posted this- then look theatre guy posted about what i was posting about... wierd huh? :)

[TheatreGuy]

Hey Michael, came back to post something that I forgot and just read your comment above... that is creepy!!!

I wanted to tell you that I love, love, love your "production company" logo in the beginning! That is very cool.

Ted

[Michael_Petro]

Hey Michael, came back to post something that I forgot and just read your comment above... that is creepy!!!

I wanted to tell you that I love, love, love your "production company" logo in the beginning! That is very cool.

Ted

made it myself I did :) actually i was messing around with particle illusion trying to figure it out and I made the logo. Then I named myself PhoenixButterFlyFilms from the logo.

thanks

[TheatreGuy]

"particle illusion" What's that?

[VersuS]

I think he meant particles effect you find in AE or Motion...correct me if i m wrong Michael!

[Michael_Petro]

The progeam I used is particle illusion check it out :)

http://www.wondertouch.com/index.asp

[VersuS]

OH! Good to know Michael! Thanx for the info!!!!!!

[VersuS]

it has emitters as well!!! like motion!! groovy!!!! and there's a windows version too!!!

[TheatreGuy]

Wow! That is some very cool effects! Thanks for sharing... I'm glad that I asked!!!

[Michael_Petro]

yes and the basic are pretty easy to pick and its relatively inexpensive

[TheatreGuy]

I have so much to learn... After Effects, Particle Illusion... there is so much post production stuff that I just don't know.

Right now, in my VERY EARLY STAGES.... I just want to master story-telling and filmmaking. I look forward to being able to impliment VFX.

One day!

[Matthew B. Moore]

This film is trying to go there and taking the risks. You guys have guts. Props.
The down side was that I wasn't scared and didn't really feel the horror aspect.

[VersuS]

I have so much to learn... After Effects, Particle Illusion... there is so much post production stuff that I just don't know.

Right now, in my VERY EARLY STAGES.... I just want to master story-telling and filmmaking. I look forward to being able to impliment VFX.

One day!

I think you are right on the money Ted. Story-telling and filmmaking with editing is the first and most essential part. Wouldnt you like to make a nice comedy or drama that didnt involve any fx? Wouldnt you love to be able to say to an fx artist, hey man I need a vfx for this shot and know that you JUST need a vfx for a shot and that your whole work is complete in all other aspects? VFX and FX in general are cool and nice things but history and very recent history has proved that the talent to story telling nice and clean is number 1!

[Michael_Petro]

This film is trying to go there and taking the risks. You guys have guts. Props.
The down side was that I wasn't scared and didn't really feel the horror aspect.

the cast kept saying hey is this horror.. then I said hey CAST every get shot in the head must be HORRible :) ever seen a Ghost? pretty scary huh? :)

THanks for commenting and watching..

after the reviews are in--->I now know that i had flat lighting and Guts :)

[hvxabuser]

was hoping to see more horror than lesbian stuff. work on story lighting and music.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Michael, this was a lot of fun.

I really admire that you went for it and it definitely kept my attention with some great camera moves, nice editing, and wondering just how far you would go to shock or titillate me!

Here's a blow by blow as I rewatch it:

Nice opening logo.

Nice low angle on the approaching footsteps.

The cutting back and forth between the making out and his approach built suspense.

I like the way you ease us into the picture with the dissolves at the top.

Some nice acting on his part in the kitchen while he gets more and more pissed. The handheld here was a good choice as well.

Always leave your bra on to makeout, but take it off to shoot someone (joke - but that seemed odd) I read that you hadn't intended to show the full monty there but that notwithstanding it would have been better to just have her tatas out the whole time. I get that she might have exposed them to distract him before she shot him, but to have them stay in bras for the making out seemed like not going far enough in your rough grungy horror thriller. We don't even need to see booby, but we need to think she's naked in the makeout scene especially if she's gonna be naked for the killing -- enough about that though.

Great shot on the exterior of the van into the interior. I don't even wanna know how.

Nice bit on seeing Jason in the window vs. the bathroom.

Lol ... why not make the hole bigger if he won't fit rather than chop him up? I mean HOW much bigger was he?

Great camera 360 when the girls are talking. You are using the camera as an integral PART of the story. The camera movement mirrors the internal state of the characters there and that's what we should all aspire to for every frame of our film.

"you know how bad it feels to get shot in the head?" a little flat and on the nose. Its tough to figure out what the hell he would say to her though. Maybe he doesn't need to say anything. Or ... this would be a good opportunity for a bring back line ... something he said to her while alive that has a new and eery meaning now ... or, cribbing from Creepshow now, theres's a segment where a mean old man is murdered by his daughter I think. Right before he dies he's screaming "Where's my cake. Bedelia, where's my cake, you bitch! Where's my cake". Then as a ghost its like he's stuck in this haunting moment and that's all he says "where's my cake you bitch! where's my cake" ringing in her ears over and over ... that kind of single mindedness seems pretty creepy and appropriate for a wraith.

High angle for "WHY SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?!!!" is a bit cliched but it works. I'd definitely do the same thing most likely.


Lots of fun.

Oh, and your sig cracks me up BTW!

Congrats on your first film and I look forward to seeing more from you.
:beer:

Best,

Jack

[conrad_johnson]

This one was a lot of fun.

Love the music.

Love the camera moves.

The acting needed a little work, but overall it was the right feel.

This had an energy and style that i really dug, look forward to more shorts from you.

I also like boobies.

_joe

[Michael_Petro]

Thanks Jack after seeing your filmZ you review is a huge compliment -Thank you

[Michael_Petro]

This one was a lot of fun.

Love the music.

Love the camera moves.

The acting needed a little work, but overall it was the right feel.

This had an energy and style that i really dug, look forward to more shorts from you.

I also like boobies.

_joe

Thanks for the nice review and I like boobies too :)

[jpbankesmercer]

Still love those Boobies ,(I coined it first!), best of luck J.P.

[TheatreGuy]

Michael, I have enjoyed following your thread from the beginning! I saw a lot of myself in your work.

Congratulations and best of luck to you!

I hope that you will be making more films for us!

I've had a blast in this festival!

Thanks so much for making it fun!

Ted

[arielman]

Michael....This was a great short ..loved the camera work ..especially where the camera enters the car ..sweet!!

The story is also very different from everyone Else's .

This was the last short to view today and to comment on ...as I must leave for work .
Congrats on a great short and Good luck .
Thought everyone did a great job of acting .
Ian

[Michael_Petro]

Michael....This was a great short ..loved the camera work ..especially where the camera enters the car ..sweet!!

The story is also very different from everyone Else's .

This was the last short to view today and to comment on ...as I must leave for work .
Congrats on a great short and Good luck .
Thought everyone did a great job of acting .
Ian


glad you liked it thank you

[Michael_Petro]

How much fun did I have? check this out, made in for the wrap party :)
http://phoenixbutterflyfilms.com/thanks.mov

Voting i'm getting there.... deadline is 3am EST?

AND I'm sorry to those who's thread I did not post on... I have seen every movie :) I own a biz with employees and have a IRS tax deadline monday (and payroll) pain in the arse I tell ya.. I know how much you busted your ass making these and again I truly am sorry... I had a great time making and watching lets do it AGAIN :)

[mentatDUKE]

Hi Michael. Your film was very offbeat and atypical. A fun movie that I was able to enjoy with a big group of friends. I doubt we'll soon forget it.

This was a very ambitious first effort. How did you approach your actresses regarding nudity and such? Were you already friends with them?

The character motivations were a bit hard to grasp but perhaps that was due to the fact that you had to cover so much ground in six minutes.

The cinemetography and camerawork could use work but that comes with experience. I'm sure your third film will look vastly diffferent from your first. I recommend some lighting books (Blain Brown has written some good ones. Plus your local library or university is a gold mine. Cinematography.com and the lighting forum here are great too)

Sound could be better and maybe some compression and cleanup in post. Jay Rose has two great books on sound. Buy them both. You won't regret it.

The writing could be a bit more fleshed out. I think you knew where you wanted to take the characters and the story. Maybe it'd help to work backwards. You know you want the girlfriend to betray and kill the boyfriend. You know you want his spirit to haunt them and seek revenge. After knowing this, come up with logical, natural progressions to hit these beats. For the dialogue, start observing the rythm of everyday conversation. Just like you'll be observing how light behaves once you start studying lighting.
Rather than simple exposition that gives the viewer information, it's generally a good idea to deliver information and character development at the same time. Almost sneaking it in. The viewer should not be too aware of the fact that they are recieving data. ("We're in the ass end of the state", etc)

Show rather than tell as they say.

I can't wait to see your next efforts. You pulled off a lot with our first project. Brave acting, a score from a local band, multiple locations, etc.

Keep on keepin on.

Have a good one.

[Michael_Petro]

*** Hi Michael. Your film was very offbeat and atypical. A fun movie that I was able to enjoy with a big group of friends. I doubt we'll soon forget it. ***

awesome thank you :)

*** This was a very ambitious first effort. How did you approach your actresses regarding nudity and such?***

Told her what I was looking for ( I was looking for shock value) and she agreed. Carli and Jason both work at a local resturant in jax and i was asking around and presto there they where we have since become good freinds.

[Norm Sanders]

Just finally getting the time to copy the notes I compiled in a Word doc while watching the shorts:


Sorry, but felt this was poor acting. Also, seems like most guys would think it was cool to see girlfriend with another woman, this one gets that upset? Is there a back story we’re unaware of? The VFX from the shooting in the bathroom was topnotch, but sound was off (needed flashes too, or something) when she was firing gun in woods … third shot sound, but didn’t look like she was shooting again. If you’re going to have women undressing & making out for an audience of mostly guys, perhaps have them in better shape for better eye candy? Writing of dialogue with “No, not you. Why?!”, etc. was lacking.

[Michael_Petro]

Thanks everyone for watchin' and chatin' on this thread :) It has been fun!

MIKE_PETRO _-=OUT=-_