Edgen - "Brown Waters"

[Edgen]

Now Playing:
"Brown Waters"
1837417




http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_poster.jpg


"How long can you tread?"

- Official Website (http://www.edgen.com/brownwaters) -

- Now Sinking -
Download (http://edgen.hostpaw.com/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)

Download Mirror 1 (Http://www.dvxuser4.com/horrorfest/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)
Download Mirror 2 (http://www.nrestudios.com/horror_mirror/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)
Download Mirror 3 (http://dvxuser.mikkowilson.com/horrorfest/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)

DOWNLOAD Score:
"Brown Waters - By: Justin" (http://edgen.hostpaw.com/edgen_brown_waters.mp3)


A young man relaxes in the peaceful serenity of nature before he heads out for
"the biggest date of his life" with his GF. (soon to be fianace') His two best friends
join him in his last moments as a 'free man' as they watch
on as he agrees to a challenging bet of treading water.

"30 Minutes. ...Hands above the water."






(Brown Waters is an Exhibition Film only and cannot be judged in the DVX contest.)
((BW was shot with a consumer grade Samsung SC-D6550 - Compact DuoCam))
(However; crit and comments are most definitely welcome!)




CRITIQUES::

"So far this has been one the weakest entry I've watched."
-Noct
Senior Member




"...You produced in your story something very difficult to achieve.
You created a credible dilemma for your protagonist, and its
emotional impact was spot-on. And of course, the score was
incredible. That last "hook" is still playing in my mind as I
contemplate his "choice." Haunting."

"...Of the shorts I've viewed so far, this one, above all others,
clearly produced characters that were completely believeable as
real people. Also, unlike any other short I've seen so far, I
really cared about your characters, and was affected emotionally
by both your story and your characters."
-Rezfactor
Senior Member




"Great soundtrack and camera work, man!!!"
"You know, this is the ONE film that has sort of fermented and
preyed upon my mind over time. I keep coming back to the final
scene and I'm struck with such a powerful emotion of ineffable
sadness. That says a lot because this was the first film I
watched. After all the others, this one keeps coming back to me."
-Mark Johnson
Senior Member




"I Liked Lakeside Better .... "
-MOVIE MASTER
Senior Member




"The strongest part of your film is the story."
-Geoff_R
Senior Member




"...when he hits the water with that brick, I got the proverbial
chill down my spine. mission accomplished!"
-FlintMI
Senior Member




"STRONG SOLID STORY!!! You pulled of some very dramatic s@@@ and it
worked in perfection! Loved the score!!"
-VersuS
Senior Member




"Music: Super, very film like, would love to work with you. Best
for me. What keyboard sound module you using? Blew me away, very
emotional."
-jpbankesmercer
Director Mod





"It was a just a good movie. It made me so sad, and I think that is
the way the character felt as well."
-msconce
Senior Member




"Very subtle direction. And the film got through my defenses. Good
stuff."
-Paul Coleman
Senior Member




"I loved your set-up in this film. An average day turned into a
nightmare. It was so simple and simply told. You didn't force
anything. It just unfolded at a natural pace.
...The music was soft, subtle and haunting."
-TheatreGuy
Senior Member




"...I loved the torment that you brought into this film. A haunting
horror flick of a different kind! A REAL kind."
-TheatreGuy
Senior Member



"Story had a powerful conclusion and nice score and some nice editing there."
Jack Daniel Stanley
Mr. Excitable



"This was an interesting piece. My friends and I had a lot of fun watching this.
Very offbeat characters. Funny voices, motivaions and relationships.
...The humor at the begining sharply contrasts with the sad, weightiness
at the end. Masterfully done.I think it'll stay with us for a while. Pretty
memorable and unique tale."
mentatDUKE
Senior Member




"though the score was solid & effective, & didn’t try to rule the film
… a compliment considering the film was made by a composer."
Envision
Script Wrangler




"Some of the best performances in the fest. As Jack pointed out,
they're very natural. Captured the type of guys perfectly."
sean90291
Senior Member




"...your story kind of lost me."
"...and why should we care?"
Lingothree
Senior Member




"I think this was kind of unfocused. Meaning I wasn't sure
what was going on. It looked pretty bad as well.
the music was great though."
conrad_johnson
Senior Member




"this had an interesting idea behind it. And a good
moment of suspense."
EJ Pennypacker
Senior Member




"Great quality. The actors did a nice job, too."
gwmesler
Member




"The Score: Worked very well in this film. It was very subtle
during the beginning while he was treading the water which
matched perfectly, and then during the end, it was very powerful,
really helped with the emotion. It was a good match."
macintosh
Senior Member




"I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this film. I was
looking forward to this ever since I saw the poster and I was not let down."
griffin
Senior Member




"Love the setting and the story ..
...man what a choice to make ..who do you save ?"
arielman
Senior Member




"I really liked the idea of this but it fell short to me"
Michael_Petro
Senior Member




"That was very emotional and the music did help it."
Steve_Arm
Senior Member




"good story. sad story..."
kimko
Senior Member




"acting was too acted. lighting is key, natural light is fine
but make sure you dont blow out the image.... story
was eh... needed more explaination... lplus the title kinda
doesnt fit.... other that that... we need to get you a dvx dude"
hvxabuser
Senior Member






*Update*
10.01.06
"Brown Waters" is now showing. Please visit this page (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=62739&page=10) to start the crits

*Update*
10.01.06
"Brown Waters" has been officially uploaded! Enjoy my lil' short and give some feedback. It's the only way to get better.

*Update*
09.19.06
I really screwed up. I go back to open up a 'prefinal' version of the film and I notice something is highly familiar... My score is the exact same tune as another 12 minute short film I just completed. Actually, I scored Brown Waters before this one, but since the entire soundtrack has been set, I'll have to go back and come up with another melody for my own. Which... I guess that happens when you work on multiple projects at once. Sometimes I think i'm loosing my own head. On top of redoing the score, I wanted to add another final scene to tie the movie together. So... I broke my own cardinal rule of "LOCKING" the picture. Now I've got to go back and re-adjust everything to make the music fit properly. One thing after the next, but without a doubt, I will have it ready to be submitted. Exhibition submit that is. yee haw. go team me. :\
/j

*Update*
09.13.06
OK, I got it CHOPPED down to 6 minutes exactly. Once I started hacking the dialog, could easily hack out all the rest. Which, the audio/dialog/acting wasn't the best in the world because I used the mic from the Camera. Not to mention the camera itself had a malfunction causing the video and audio to really pop and go out of whack. But.. alas, i finished the score to the film as well last night. It was kind of a weird experience scoring my own video, but ... as Hulk says... "I think I liked it..." I'm sure I could have taken a little more time to score it and really nail it down, but there's just waay too much time involved and I think it's 'effective'. Wish I had an orchestra at my finger tips. Scoring it was also amazing in that I didn't have to deal with changes and re-writes. I'm my own boss and what goes is what I want. I can get as big and epic as I want. I'm definitely looking forward to making more movies and writing the soundtrack. I still need to do the final audio sweetening and add in a few more sound FX here and there.

Cutting this thing down was hard to do and I wanted to keep sooo much stuff. I think i'm going to have a 'See the End at the Website" at the end of the movie. (after the competition is over). I wanted to keep it open ended, but at the same time I wanted to extend it. So... after the competition is over, I'm going to add the end to the final video. It has a small VFX shot that requires some After Effects work that really puts the film into a 'creepy' level.

"Brown Waters" is still the title and regardless of the funny giggles it will get, I'm sticking to it. If a studio wanted to pick it up and make it into a feaure I'll be happy to change it. Till then.. tough kaboodles.
/j


*Update*
08.25.06
BTW... do you see the line going across the image above? Take special note of that. It's something that will make everyone here jealous. (unless you grew up in the woods like I have)
/j


*Update*
08.24.06
Sitting at 10 minutes now. Time to chop it in half. No pun intended. Upload a few stills. Audio was captured from the camera, so of course it sounds like ass. Perhaps I'll ADR the longer version, but since I can't fly my cast in from kentucky, i'm funct. oh well. At least I'm making do with what I have.

Ok. I Gladly accept my own offer to give up the HVX that I have already won to another participant. I've got two of them anyway. (j/k JDS... www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple (http://www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple) is the closest I have to owning a camera.)
/j



http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw.jpg


Still 01
http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_still_01.jpg

Still 02
http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_still_02.jpg

Still 03
http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_still_03.jpg







Cast:
Jared Durban
http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_still_jared.jpg

John Stumpf
http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_still_john.jpg

Seth Moore
http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_still_seth.jpg


'till the next update me padres!

Sponsored by "Miller Light Beer".

word.
/j





*Update*
08.22.06
Well, Despite all the crap footage I got from the stupid camera... The edit for the piece is now sitting in at 10 minutes and i'm liking what I've got so far. If I did include all the shots I've done for the film, it would probably be around 12. Cutting this punk down to a 6 minute film is doable, but i think i'll loose my story... Not to mention half the dialog sounds like arse anyway. SOOO.. if I do submit this movie into the competition, i will most likely score it as if it were a music video with no dialog. Then, if you wanted to watch the full video, you choose to do so.

Regardless, I'm doing another film with another DVX user so its not the last you'll see from me!!.. muuuhahahahah

/j






*Grr.. Update*
Footage ended up being jacked up for half the filming due to a malfunction in the camera, so I'm going to do the best I can to piece together something. My hole/latrine just seems to be getting deeper and deeper.

/j

***********


"LAKESIDE"

Also, be sure to check out my other film in which I was the co-director/editor/composer/sound/vfx/pa, "Lakeside" which was a collaborative effort with a fellow DVX user, Avatuar (Matt Thompson)



http://www.oasisdesignstudios.com/dvxpost.jpg (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=70427)



LASTLY...

and, here's a link to all my DVX Horrorfest OST scores:
(yes... my brain is officially fried)
*DVX Horror Fest Music (http://www.edgenmusic.com/edgen_dvx_horrorfest_scores.zip)* 36 mb

"R.E.M. (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=73270)" by Norm Sanders (Envision) & Ryan Walters (235 Studios),
"Memories (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=72340)" by Alex DePew & Jason Sheridan,
"5B (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=61804)" by Aram Bauman,
"Dead Inside (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=61812)" by Ben Sliker (Hybrid Theory) & Brad Mate,
&
"Brown Waters (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=62739)" by Justin R. Durban (Edgen),
"Lakeside (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=70427)" by Matt Thompson (Avatuar) and Justin R. Durban (Edgen).

Happy Listening!


****

...and no laughing about the name. You pervs...

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Nice pic ... I would suggest a title change, however. I know there is already a Dark Water but you might get out the Thesaurus and cycle through "murky" etc.

Reason being ... and yes this is coming from a guy with a short named "Bone Hand" ... but "Brown Water" immediately puts my sophmoric mind into Beavis and Butthead territory and makes me think of scattological things that make me giggle.

Also "brown" is not very threatening or extreme, like black, white, red ... brown is the color of courdroy trousers and dirt ... not horror ...

again the image is evocative and I like where I think you are going with this ... but the title is a no go for me.

EDIT: I now see that "waters" is plural ... that helps some as it definitely puts "body of water" in my head a little more rather than a toilet bowl ... but still would vote for a change in title.

EDIT 2: Oh and great log line. Perfect. I see co-eds in cut offs with a famous low angle underwater shot from jaws as something lurks beneath. You Gotta go all out and rent an underwater housing -- that would be soooo kick ass. You might have to cheat the underwater shots in a swinming pool if the water is really brown and then make the water brown in post... you'd have a lot more control that way ... but underwater shots would definately set you apart right there.

[Ben Sliker]

ditto, same thing "pooped" into my head.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

nice pun ... and glad I'm not the only 11 year old 34 year old around here :)

though I guess you are an 11 year old 22 year old ... but you get what I mean :thumbsup:

Justin ... if this is less than how you hoped your thread would start ... ask mod to delete the thread it and repost with a new title (since I don't think you can change the title of a thread) ... I'll come back and say all the good parts again.

[Edgen]

ya, you are probably right, and I thought about this long and hard. (no pun intended there either) :)

I debated a few other titles, and the story itself doesn't really lend itself to a horror film at first so for the longest time, you are thinking, "wtf" is horror about this?

I was going to call it 'treading' and perhaps that what i'll name it.

Ok.. "Brown Waters" is now, "Treading"

I dunno, I may change the title again once it gets closer to the end. but, This is one of two of my entries into this festival so I suppose it doesn't really matter just yet.

As for a 'bad start' in the thread? ha!! I ain't scared :) Any publicity is good publicity.


/j

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

OK cool.

I still don't think "treading" nails it though.

Its great in the tag line because you have whole thought tied to it, namely ... eventually the killer will get you ...

But "treading water" sounds like an Adam Sandler movie, meaning a slacker movie, somebody that's avoiding taking on responsibilities or something ... again, not scary or forboding ...

I think you should stick with your original idea .... Brown Waters (I believe) was meant to suggest that there was something hidden that you couldn't see because the water was dark and it was gonna get you ... I think you can say that without saying Brown or Dark (since Dark is taken) ...

Since I'm not sure if I'm entering yet, and I just have some disjointed images and a vague theme and story at this point, I'm playing with titles a lot ... in fact I have a list that is 65 titles long ... keep playing with it ... it's gotta have some sensee of forboding IMHO.

I think a good horror title should compel you to look behind that door even though (or because) you suspec there is something terrifying on the other side of it.

You read Justin's title ... you are strangely compelled ... slowly you click on the .mov file ... there's no turning back now .... why oh why did you want to see "AQUA MASSACRE AT BROWN CREEK" Arrgggggghhheee! Ok I'm joking about that title but you feel me dog.

[Larry Rutledge]

How about, "Tenebrous Waters" or "Ominous Waters"?

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

hey what happened to this post:

Besides it's just Jack, everyone ignores what he says anyway :evil: :grin:
I appreciate if some Mod was looking out for me ... but insults between Larry and I don't count :laugh:

[Larry Rutledge]

Actually I removed it because in the time I wrote it, you had replied again and it just lost it's momentum....

Don't worry, I'm not getting soft or anything...I'm always up for a good insult bantering with ya Jack :)

[Kholi]

Most hilarious post I've read all day, Jack.

Thanks for making my bad lunch hour better.

[Ben Sliker]

nice pun ... and glad I'm not the only 11 year old 34 year old around here :)

though I guess you are an 11 year old 22 year old ... but you get what I mean :thumbsup:

Justin ... if this is less than how you hoped your thread would start ... ask mod to delete the thread it and repost with a new title (since I don't think you can change the title of a thread) ... I'll come back and say all the good parts again.

aww... now i feel like an ass. Edgen, good luck! i look forward to seeing improvement from herofest!!! I'd imagine it would be pretty hard to shoot yourself in the water!

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

No no no you crazy fool. :)

I didn't mean to say you were being an ass at all.

I think you and I were both looking out for Justin, but that fact not withstanding, two guys saying his title sounded like dooky water was probably no his first choice on how to start his thread off, that's all.

But on the other hand ... the dooky discussion has generated a ton of posts in a short time ... I bet you people will be coming back to this thread just to see what he comes up with (unless he sticks with Treading Water)

[Kholi]

Yeah. This is why I thought thread starting this early was a bad idea.

It'd be a bunch of discussion about other things.

But, it was still hilarious. The poop thing didn't even cross my mind when I read the title.

[Ben Sliker]

thanks jds, there's so much love here at dvxuser.

Justin, gonna give us anything more than a title?

[Edgen]

Hurmm... Maybe I should join the crowd of "Untitled" for the moment? :)

Or.. "Doody Water"

ya, that works. :)

http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_dw.jpg

/j

[Ben Sliker]

lol, or as my roommate would type, ROFLCOPTER.

[WilderWorks]

The Doody Water poster is officially the first I've considered putting on my desktop. :)

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Doody water ... I love it.

[Edgen]

I'll be happy to make a "Doody Water" desktop wallpaper if you like. :)

This was a shot back at my parents home back in Kentucky. And now.. I live in CA. Stupid move eh? :)

here's looking off the backporch.

http://www.edgen.com/temp/home_backyard.jpg

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

dude looks like a big place ...

getcherself two real actors and whisk them away to Kentucky for a week to shoot your short this summer, cast the rest local.

[Brandon Rice]

nice location dude. I like.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Wow ... we are in for a treat ... apparently Justin got permission from Jarred to post a clip ... Justin asked me to host it because his server is full.

so enjoy this sneak peak at Doody Water. I know I did! It reminded me a lot of jaws actually -- really terrifying in fact :shocked:
http://www.frenchquarterfeatures.com/doody.gif (http://www.greenapple.com/%7Eandyshupe/videos/lq/pool4_lq.wmv)

its a .wmv and if it won't play in your browser for some reason (like it won't in mine) then right click to download.

Enjoy guys :thumbsup:

[Edgen]

wew hew!! Thanks for hosting my sneak peak video. It definitely a prequal to my doody water. :)

Ya, I've already shot the entire movie, and I guess it just depends on how well it turns out. one of my actors was pretty good, but I think i can use enough edits to make the other two 'half way decent'.

"Doody Water... Floating Oct1st, 2006"

/j

[guydoingmusic]

Dude, I can't wait to see this. Good Luck with the project.

Is this starring the "Christmas Poo" from South Park? Is he the villain?


Brad

[Edgen]

YUP! and his sidekick is Towely. There's a third, but I introduce him as a new character.

/j

[MOVIE STUNTS]

Ok, this is a freebie title that i don't think anyone else has used.

Beneath The Surface.

Use it if it works for you, if not oh well. At least i couldn't think of something funny to say about it. And it popped (not Pooped) into my head when i saw your poster, so it's probably yours anyway.

[Edgen]

Beneath The Surface.

LOVE the Title!!

I guess, that would almost give everything away because the movie itself is not meant to be horror right off the bat. Just some people hanging out. Something does eventually happen, but not necessarily 'beneath the surface' of the water. or... does it. :) Muuhahahahah

so, I guess I don't want to give it away or put ideas into people's heads right away.

I'm still digging the title, 'Doody Waters'. So, we'll see when it comes time for the ... umm.. 'release' ;)

/j

[MOVIE STUNTS]

Yeah... I think the title suggests somthing more but doesn't explain what the movie is about. at least for me it could mean alot of things. I'm still trying to came up with a title for my own horrorfest screenplay.

[MOVIE STUNTS]

so enjoy this sneak peak at Doody Water. I know I did! It reminded me a lot of jaws actually -- really terrifying in fact :shocked:
http://www.frenchquarterfeatures.com/doody.gif (http://www.greenapple.com/%7Eandyshupe/videos/lq/pool4_lq.wmv)


I just noticed this it's the funniest Sh$# i've seen in a long time. (pun intended) Hell i'm still laughing.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

yeah I like beneath the surface

could be about anything
family drama
deep sea monster attack
ghost in thw water
poltical drama ... anything

if it fits so well you are afraid it gives too much away, I say use it because you only think it gives too much away because you know ho well it fits.

We don't. So could be anything to us.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

nevermind:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0409730/

[Kholi]

Glad someone brought that up--

Does it matter if the title of our own shorts are the same as others?

I don't think you'd get in trouble for it, right? Unless it's like a Disney movie or something?

Like, The Matrix... or...

The Parent Trap :cough: I was going to use that name, but found out that it was copyrighted. However, I also learned that most film titles are not copyrighted material.

So, he could still use Beneath The Surface.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

I guess so ... there are 2 movies called "Crash" right? But I would avoid it if possible. I don't know what the legalities are but I'm sure you'd be open to a dispute at the very least. Also the imdb credit above is a 9 minute short, which would make me at least less inclined to use the title. If it was a 1945 feature length for example, the potential for confusion woudl be less.

[Edgen]

http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_sww.jpg

:)

You think Lucas will come after me?

/j

[Kholi]

I guess so ... there are 2 movies called "Crash" right? But I would avoid it if possible. I don't know what the legalities are but I'm sure you'd be open to a dispute at the very least. Also the imdb credit above is a 9 minute short, which would make me at least less inclined to use the title. If it was a 1945 feature length for example, the potential for confusion woudl be less.

I never knew there were two movies called "Crash" until I saw the other one.

The gratuitous sex scenes made me go "Hmm... this isn't the movie I saw in theatres" -- I changed the channel.

Star Wars might be dangerous, buddy. Be careful. Hehehe and I knew it was a joke.

[MOVIE STUNTS]

nevermind:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0409730/

Interesting... Check this one out, read the U.S.A video title.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0083736/

Anyway, I don't think using Beaneath The Surface as a title will pose him any problem unless his movie is about an african-american take on the narcissus legend.... :)

[Cryogenic Filmworks]

Glad someone brought that up--

Does it matter if the title of our own shorts are the same as others?

I don't think you'd get in trouble for it, right? Unless it's like a Disney movie or something?

Like, The Matrix... or...

The Parent Trap :cough: I was going to use that name, but found out that it was copyrighted. However, I also learned that most film titles are not copyrighted material.

So, he could still use Beneath The Surface.


You can't copyright a title, but you can trademark it. There are a lot of movies with the same titles, as there are songs with the same titles. If it is a trademark though such as "Star Wars" then you have a problem. At least that is the info I have.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

interesting.

[Texture]

OK just stumbled across this hilarious thread...

Beneath the Surface sounds cool, but as Jack noticed, its used.

I though, oh cool, "Surface Tension", but that's used too.

Howz about something simple and disarming.

"The Pond"

Nothin' fancy, Nothin' frilly. Nothin' trying to say more than it is. Just straight forward... Then let the picture scare the Bejesus out of everybody so that nobody will ever want to step foot near a pond for the rest of their life!!!

Or, based on the "sneak peak." "Lake Baby Ruth"

Anyhow, sometimes less is more.

E.

[EJ Pennypacker]

Hollywood has a book of trademarked titles you can't use.

But they are all from the power 80's and run like Stallone movies.

EJ

[Texture]

Yea, I'm thinking "The Pond" and photoshop your poster in black and white as a negative... Yours for the taking, no strings attached, if you please. Maybe a bolder font with a moldy patina to it.

If you think that sucks... May I offer my secret weapon... 'Chubby Pond'

"Was it a normal pond? Or was it a chubby pond???"

E.

[Matt Sconce]

Yea, I'm thinking "The Pond" and photoshop your poster in black and white as a negative... Yours for the taking, no strings attached, if you please. Maybe a bolder font with a moldy patina to it.

If you think that sucks... May I offer my secret weapon... 'Chubby Pond'

"Was it a normal pond? Or was it a chubby pond???"

E.

Maybe the pond just has a metabolism problem....poor misunderstood pond. :)

[Texture]

The doctor put this pond on a strict algae diet, and what does it do???

It goes eating every greasy teenager that walks by! Too much saturated fat!!!

Dude, Loved Nine to Five Ninja!

[Edgen]

maybe just "Pond", or even "Tread"

I suppose I'll just have to see the footage and I'll get a better idea when I start to edit the thing together. Right now, its kinda 'murky'.

/j

[Texture]

maybe just "Pond", or even "Tread"

I suppose I'll just have to see the footage and I'll get a better idea when I start to edit the thing together. Right now, its kinda 'murky'.

/j

I hear ya, but a one syllable title just doesn't grab me... I thought of just the single word title also, but it doesn't seem to ring out.

Justin, you're a music guy... "The Pond" is almost like two beats on a big ol' Japanese taiko drum, "Pond" only one.

I know its not profound, but if the picture is profound the art will lie in the contrast between a very ordinary title and an extraordinary story.

Of course, I have no idea what your film is really about, so I could be totally off. Good luck! :)

Cheers!

Erik

[Matt Sconce]

The doctor put this pond on a strict algae diet, and what does it do???

It goes eating every greasy teenager that walks by! Too much saturated fat!!!

Dude, Loved Nine to Five Ninja!

Hey thanks! Stricken is our next film and it will shatter the level we were at previously. Check out the website:http://www.strickenthemovie.com


Oh, and Edgen, the name aside....what an awesome poster!!!!!!!!!!! This location is going to sell the movie so well. I already feel it and it is just the poster. I look forward to updates. I really like the two syllable idea for the title as well.

[Edgen]

Maybe.. "Da Pond" :)

Ya, I still haven't looked at the footage for the film yet, so I'm hoping it will turn out ok. I'm afraid the poster may be a bit deceiving in that I really brought out the saturation of the colors and hopefully the footage will carry the same effect. But to think... This is where I grew up. In the woods of Kentucky.

/j

[spidey]

Hey thanks! Stricken is our next film and it will shatter the level we were at previously. Check out the website:http://www.strickenthemovie.com


Oh, and Edgen, the name aside....what an awesome poster!!!!!!!!!!! This location is going to sell the movie so well. I already feel it and it is just the poster. I look forward to updates. I really like the two syllable idea for the title as well.

Mscone I think you broke the rules if you have a website.... are you still in Horrorfest... if so the rule states only promotion within the site. so I'd take the site down till the competition starts..... unless it has nothing to do wiith horror fest i mean. just making sure you dont introuble your self

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

I think Msconce has decided not t compete because his film is going to be too big (long) and may fall outside of the deadline (I think)

[Matt Sconce]

I think Msconce has decided not t compete because his film is going to be too big (long) and may fall outside of the deadline (I think)

Yes indeedy. :)

[Aaron Marshall]

I didn't associate "Brown Waters" with turds until I read this thread. I thought you were onto something Edgen. Now I can't think of anything else but turds floating around in water. Thanks a lot you perverts. :grin:

Where are you shooting this at?

[griffin]

The colors look phenominal. I like the title. No one ever wants to go in brown water. It's all murky and nasty looking. Definitely looking forward to this one coming out.

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

...Definitely looking forward to this one coming out.
Ok ... Justin ... I won't touch that one :engel017:

[guydoingmusic]

Ok ... Justin ... I won't touch that one :engel017:

ROFLMAO!

[griffin]

Ok ... Justin ... I won't touch that one :engel017:

Ummmmm ok? Sorry Randy, I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Edgen]

you guys are twist'd

Love it! :)

/j

[Edgen]

Update... My worst fear just happened.

Well, in reviewing the footage, there were some really bizzare lines going across the screen and the audio/video was all jacked. I assumed at the time it was just a malfunction in the A/V jack into the tv.. Nope. Apparently not.

So, I just captured the footage last night and lo and behold.. those lines have been embedded into the footage itself. SOOO.. this means half the shit is jacked up and the other half is.. yozers. We'll have to see. Some parts were good.. others are bad. It'll be a jigsaw puzzle at this moment, but hopefully i'll pull something off that will tell the story visually. I highly doubt i'll be able to use the audio/dialog and piece it together without it jacking up. We'll see. Grrrr.

I'll get a screen cap of what I'm talking about here in a few.

But, alas!! Another fellow DVX user and I are going to shoot another film this month so hopefully that'll turn out better than my "Doody Waters"

/j

[Matt Sconce]

Update... My worst fear just happened.

Well, in reviewing the footage, there were some really bizzare lines going across the screen and the audio/video was all jacked. I assumed at the time it was just a malfunction in the A/V jack into the tv.. Nope. Apparently not.

So, I just captured the footage last night and lo and behold.. those lines have been embedded into the footage itself. SOOO.. this means half the shi* is jacked up and the other half is.. yozers. We'll have to see. Some parts were good.. others are bad. It'll be a jigsaw puzzle at this moment, but hopefully i'll pull something off that will tell the story visually. I highly doubt i'll be able to use the audio/dialog and piece it together without it jacking up. We'll see. Grrrr.

I'll get a screen cap of what I'm talking about here in a few.

But, alas!! Another fellow DVX user and I are going to shoot another film this month so hopefully that'll turn out better than my "Doody Waters"

/j

OH NO! That sucks. I hope you are able to recover some of it and that everything works out.

[VersuS]

Oh man! This is tough! Hope you rebounce pretty quick!!!

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

good luck in editing ... can you do a horror TV cutting in and out aesthetic with it maybe?

[Edgen]

and ya.. an update. A few stills, some stupid notes and my loosing speech all wrapped in one. Yee haaaw!

/j

[Kholi]

Hey Edgen. Do you really own two HVX's? =(

It's good to see that you've made it out of the fecal matter jokes. =P And it's also good to see, despite your short-comings and illness, that you're trudging on; great stuff.

The first still in your new updates is a perfect example of taking advantage of "deep focus", a discussion I got angry over a week ago. Though it's a still and I can't tell where the framing is going, or the purpose, I could see someone climbing out of the water (or something) just on the side of the dock while your actor is choking up brown water.

Other than that, looks like they were all cold chillin'. It'll be good to see what you do with more than one guy. If I remember correctly, STARS ABOVE was just you.

Good luck, duuude.

[Edgen]

Ya, I'm sure there will be a few more jokes to float to the surface. Oh well, i'm sticking to it. The way I see is that "Brown Waters" is plural meaning bigger. If it was brown Water.. then it would get a few chuckles here and there.

2 HVX's. Hell no. The only camera I own is my 5.0 mega pixel camera: ( which btw this was shot completely by the camera - www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple ) and a High-8 Sony cam.

I wasn't sick, but rather there was a major malfunction in the camera, which I've chose to just keep a few of the crap footage in there. Who knows though, its 10 minutes and there's lot o' room to shave. And yep.. "The Stars Above" was just me alone.

This short film, "Brown Waters", was shot in one day, and the script was written the night before with my brother. Then, the next morning we called a few of his friends over to act in it. :) How's that for another fly by the seat of your pants, on the fly, el quickie?

cheers!
/justin

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

...2 HVX's. Hell no. The only camera I own is my 5.0 mega pixel camera: ( which btw this was shot completely by the camera - www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple (http://www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple) ) and a High-8 Sony cam...
...so how are you competing in an DVX/HVX only contest ... for the second time :huh: what am I missing?

[Edgen]

...so how are you competing in an DVX/HVX only contest ... for the second time :huh: what am I missing?

Stars Above was shot with a DVX.

"Brown Waters" was shot with a Sony Consumer grade cam. (so, no, i can't compete, but I can still submit it according to the rules) .. Then, I'm teaming up with another DVXuser member for another short and it will be shot with a DVX.

So.. ya, maybe making the movie was for nothing?

2. All films must be shot on either the DVX or the HVX to be eligible for prizes. Other cameras are welcome for demonstration.

"Brown Waters"="Demonstration" and for the love of making movies.

Cleared Waters? :)

/j

[Mark Johnson]

"Brown Waters"="Demonstration" and for the love of making movies.

Bravo. That's all the more reason I'm looking forward to seeing your entry. Bring it on!

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

... "Brown Waters"="Demonstration" and for the love of making movies....:)

/j
Best reason.

That's why you and I stood on the battlefield last time when their were no prizes annnounced.

Hold on a mo ....

When there were no prizes announced you shot on a DVX to meet the elligibility requirements ... and now that there is an HVX on the line you are shooting on a Sony Interlaced Only, lol ... sorry but that's kind of tragically funny.

In either case, glad the contest is providing the motivation to get out an make another film and that I will get to enjoy your work again :thumbsup:

[Edgen]

When there were no prizes announced you shot on a DVX to meet the elligibility requirements ... and now that there is an HVX on the line you are shooting on a Sony Interlaced Only, lol ... sorry but that's kind of tragically funny.



Thank ya Jack! I'm a tard sometimes. ya.. I hope the quality of the camera doesn't take away from the story.. but, you go with it and that's what I had to work with at the time.

Beautiful location, willing actors, and only 1 week of being at home in KY (1000's of miles away). Thing is, I shot this video before I knew jared was to release a HVX on us. So... because of that I just jumped the gone and jumped to it not caring what was at stakes. :) I knew it was great spot and.. well, Madisonville, KY didn't have a 'High end video shop' to rent 'a high end camera'.

/j

[zoopraxiscope]

This short film, "Brown Waters", was shot in one day, and the script was written the night before with my brother. Then, the next morning we called a few of his friends over to act in it. :) How's that for another fly by the seat of your pants, on the fly, el quickie?


I noticed someone on this Website had a quote about limitations, and when you have them, sometimes the best work comes out.

When it comes together, it comes together.

Looking forward to it. Saw the screen captures and they are great. It is often tough to light evenly in direct sunlight.

[R.L. Scott]

sweet screengrabs bro. I can't wait to find out what happens.

[Geoff_R]

I'm digging the screen grab of the jeep on the hill. Nice shot.

[Edgen]

*Update*

09.13.06

OK, I got it CHOPPED down to 6 minutes exactly. Once I started hacking the dialog, could easily hack out all the rest. Which, the audio/dialog/acting wasn't the best in the world because I used the mic from the Camera. Not to mention the camera itself had a malfunction causing the video and audio to really pop and go out of whack. But.. alas, i finished the score to the film as well last night. It was kind of a weird experience scoring my own video, but ... as Hulk says... "I think I liked it..." I'm sure I could have taken a little more time to score it and really nail it down, but there's just waay too much time involved and I think it's 'effective'. Wish I had an orchestra at my finger tips. I'm definitely looking forward to making more movies and writing the soundtrack. I still need to do the final audio sweetening and add in a few more sound FX here and there.

Cutting this thing down was hard to do and I wanted to keep sooo much stuff. I think i'm going to have a 'See the End at the Website" at the end of the movie. (after the competition is over). I wanted to keep it open ended, but at the same time I wanted to extend it. So... after the competition is over, I'm going to add the end to the final video. It has a small VFX shot that requires some After Effects work that really puts the film into a 'creepy' level.

"Brown Waters" is still the title and regardless of the funny giggles it will get, I'm sticking to it. If a studio wanted to pick it up and make it into a feaure I'll be happy to change it. :) Till then.. tough kaboodles.

/j

[Michael_Petro]

I had no Idea how hard it would be to make it 6mins I think i got mine below six while keeping the same story and ending.. quit the learning experience for me anyways

[TheatreGuy]

I had no Idea how hard it would be to make it 6mins I think i got mine below six while keeping the same story and ending.. quit the learning experience for me anyways
Yeah, six minutes is tough! But as you said, "quite the learning experience."

*Update*

09.13.06

OK, I got it CHOPPED down to 6 minutes exactly... /j
Congrats on all! I look forward to your film. I love the photo in your poster. (What is that line coming across from upper right to lower left? Got some flying camera shots in your film? Or is that more of MAN'S INFLUENCES on MOTHER NATURE!)

Good luck!

Ted

[Edgen]

(What is that line coming across from upper right to lower left? Got some flying camera shots in your film? Or is that more of MAN'S INFLUENCES on MOTHER NATURE!)

TheatreGuy... as movie master would say... "That line across the frame is all that is evil my dark child."

:)

I wish it was some sort of flying camera shot, but I didn't think my brother would have appreciated me taking his camera high up and having the chances of it dumping into the brown waters below.

/j

[TheatreGuy]

LOL. movie master has left his mark all right. I am sure that he will be talked about and referred to for months to come.

[Lingothree]

Looks good - love the promo stuff.

[Tom Marshall]

TheatreGuy... as movie master would say... "That line across the frame is all that is evil my dark child."

You forgot to put 666

[jenningsp]

thoes are some nice locations. i wish i could go outside, but my extention cord wont reach

[Edgen]

Added a new poster.

http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_poster.jpg


Movie is finished! Now to upload. Still too bad it's Exhibition only, but oh well, I hope you guys will enjoy it.

cheers!
/j

[Tom Marshall]

That's awesome man... can't wait to watch! :)

[Brandon Rice]

That's awesome man... can't wait to watch! :)

Same here :)

[Robert Eldon]

Great poster! So what's the deal? Have you got two (2) movies in "Horrorfest"?

It looks like this one is exhibition and 'Lakeside' is a 'contender'?

I really like Still 01, is that shot in the movie?

Good luck to you guys!

[Edgen]

Great poster! So what's the deal? Have you got two (2) movies in "Horrorfest"?

It looks like this one is exhibition and 'Lakeside' is a 'contender'?

I really like Still 01, is that shot in the movie?

Good luck to you guys!

Robert, yup.. I've got two. "Brown Waters" isn't eligble for prizes because it was shot on another camera. Yup! Still 01 was... a still from the movie. The only one I have posted that did not make the final final cut was the jeep on the hill, but it still made an appearance. Just not that frame.

"Lakeside" is definitely a contender. :) :thumbup:

/j

[arielman]

Love the Lakeside poster .

Looking forward to the short .
Ian

[Edgen]

thanks ian! I'm glad you like it. I just wish the film itself looked just like the poster. Perhaps one day I'll go back and extend the short to a feature. I'll Have my parents host the entire cast and crew. That would be fun! Mom would definitely make sure everyone was fed and served plenty of ice cold lemonade :)

/j

[arielman]

Edgen (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/member.php?u=12891) vbmenu_register("postmenu_713848", true);

geez it should be as good as your last one ..right ?

I'm sure it'll be OK ..still waiting to watch
Ian

[mentatDUKE]

Your poster is gorgeous. Can't wait to see your film!

[Edgen]

Your poster is gorgeous. Can't wait to see your film!

Thank you! Same with yours. Legos Rock! :thumbup:

/j

[MOVIE MASTER]

Brown Water's Sound Like Some Body Saw My Toilet After I Ate
Fried Bat Last Night Damn That Diarrhea Us Demons Get That Sh!## Too

[Edgen]

Brown Water's Sound Like Some Body Saw My Toilet After I Ate
Fried Bat Last Night Damn That Diarrhea Us Demons Get That Sh!## Too

ah yes... I know... get your giggles in while you can. :)

I wonder what fried bat actually tastes like?

/j

[MOVIE MASTER]

I wonder what fried bat actually tastes like?


It's Delishes Yummy In The Tummy!
Looking Forward To You Flick!!

[Gord.T]

Thankx for your visit to the Draco thread. Sort of lost for words. Wicked. Wow. Put me down for this one. Nuff said. -gordo.

[luster]

i really like this poster. good use of 3d.

[Edgen]

i really like this poster. good use of 3d.

:) Luster, There's no 3D in this film.... But COool! Glad You like. That picture is 100% real and was taken with my cybershot 5 megapixel camera. Of course I did some CC in photoshop but that's about all.

http://www.edgen.com/images/edgen_bw_poster.jpg

Enjoy!
/j

[luster]

sorry, i just meant the type, it really has a 3d feel to it. for reason i thought it was cg

[luster]

maybe o was thinking of the lakeside type. probably photoshop too, but it almost looks like a 3d render with reflections.

[Edgen]

Yup! it was just photoshop with the text flipped. I Faked it. :)

its crazy.. some people try to make real photographs look like 3d these days. What is the world coming too... Virtual I say.. virtual.

/j

[Edgen]

"Brown Waters"
now playing



"How long can you tread?"

- Now Sinking -
Download Mirror 1 (http://www.dvxuser4.com/horrorfest/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)
Download Mirror 2 (http://www.edgenmusic.com/dvxuserhorrorfest/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)
Download Mirror 3 (http://www.nrestudios.com/horror_mirror/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)
Download Mirror 4 (http://dvxuser.mikkowilson.com/horrorfest/edgen_brown_waters_DVXFinal.mov)
Download Mirror 5 (http://www.edgenmusic.com/edgen_brown_waters_dvxcut.mov)

DOWNLOAD Score:
"Brown Waters - By: Justin" (http://www.edgenmusic.com/edgen_brown_waters.mp3)


A young man relaxes in the peaceful serenity of nature before he heads out for
"the biggest date of his life" with his GF. (soon to be fianace') His two best friends
join him in his last moments as a 'free man' as they watch
on as he agrees to a challenging bet of treading water.

"30 Minutes. ...Hands above the water."






(Brown Waters is an Exhibition Film only and cannot be judged in the DVX contest.)
((BW was shot with a consumer grade DV Camera))
(However; crit and comments are most definitely welcome!)


please note: Files are still being uploaded to the servers.

enjoy

when the festival is over, I will release the deleted end scene. (which, had to be chopped down for time)

/j

[Mark Johnson]

Great soundtrack and camera work, man!!! I cannot wait to see the deleted end scene now!!! Congrats.

[Tom Marshall]

You're up next... thought I'd let you know before I watched it... lol

OK, just watched it... nice job dude!! :)

[Edgen]

:) Sink it!

After watching all these films... I think BW is out there in left field.

/j

[Tom Marshall]

lol... not a single comment on mine yet... probably cause no one's watched it... either that or they don't get my sense of humor... :Drogar-Evil(DBG):

[Beat Takeshi]

I thought the idea of this was really good. The lead up to the climax was a little slow to me and thought that we could have gotten to the problem faster and take time showing his inner battle. I didn't know who the cable diver was but I thought if it were another person he knew and just spoke to a few minutes ago it would have been stronger. Like 2 friends go off and both do something stupid at the same time and he has to decide who to save.

[Edgen]

I watched it tom! I think i'm still in awe. :) I think people are scared to comment.

I see the horror in a production falling through, so i guess its all dependent on the viewer and it's subjective.

/j

[Edgen]

I thought the idea of this was really good. The lead up to the climax was a little slow to me and thought that we could have gotten to the problem faster and take time showing his inner battle. I didn't know who the cable diver was but I thought if it were another person he knew and just spoke to a few minutes ago it would have been stronger. Like 2 friends go off and both do something stupid at the same time and he has to decide who to save.

Ut oh. I guess it wasn't clear that his other buddy jumped on the zipline. same guy who was on the four-wheeler and truck. That was his battle while trying to save on.. it was his two friends. But Which one to save?

thanks for the crit Aram. :)

/j

[Tom Marshall]

I watched it tom! I think i'm still in awe. :) I think people are scared to comment.


hahaha thanks... I think... :)

[Beat Takeshi]

Oh, I didn't realize that. DOH! I'll watch it again and see if I missed something.

[MOVIE MASTER]

I Liked Lakeside Better .... Is Their A Part2

[Edgen]

I Liked Lakeside Better .... Is Their A Part2

thanks movie master :)

There's an extended ending to brown Waters.. yes. I will post that after the festival is over. heck, I have an extended version of 9 minutes completely with dialog and lots of other stuff, but I had to cut it out.

ahhh the editing floor.

/j

[penfever]

Edgen -
You have an extended version? By any chance, do you have a reduced version?
Joking...
There were a few really nice things here. It's a great location, of course, and i bet you could shoot a hundred movies here and not exhaust it as a space. There was a high level of comfort between the two lead actors, which gave the film a certain natural feel. Even among friends, that can be hard to achieve, often, it doesn't play or come across.
The dialogue was nice also, actually - sort of felt like better TV writing, the opening to an episode of some show a friend insisted i watch with him.
The weaknesses of the film, you are probably already pretty familiar with. And I'm sure that given more time, more resources, et cetera, most of them would go away. I'm not going to beat any horses here.
That said, you should always look at your movie for what it is, and not what it could be. A trimmed-down version of this film might elevate it past some friends playing at a lakeside when something strange happens, into the realm of a tightly structured film with three distinct acts.
At any rate, thanks for making a film, thanks for hosting the films, and thanks for listening to my wordy review.
-Ben

[Edgen]

Edgen -
You have an extended version? By any chance, do you have a reduced version?
Joking...
There were a few really nice things here. It's a great location, of course, and i bet you could shoot a hundred movies here and not exhaust it as a space. There was a high level of comfort between the two lead actors, which gave the film a certain natural feel. Even among friends, that can be hard to achieve, often, it doesn't play or come across.
The dialogue was nice also, actually - sort of felt like better TV writing, the opening to an episode of some show a friend insisted i watch with him.
The weaknesses of the film, you are probably already pretty familiar with. And I'm sure that given more time, more resources, et cetera, most of them would go away. I'm not going to beat any horses here.
That said, you should always look at your movie for what it is, and not what it could be. A trimmed-down version of this film might elevate it past some friends playing at a lakeside when something strange happens, into the realm of a tightly structured film with three distinct acts.
At any rate, thanks for making a film, thanks for hosting the films, and thanks for listening to my wordy review.
-Ben

Ooh no man, thank you for the review! this is the good stuff that I like to hear. I do have a longer version that I started out with originally, but that's with the entire dialog and random stupidness that comes out of John's mouth. :) (which, if you watched some of the unused footage, he's got a pretty drunk and dirty mouth. :))

Many of the takes were corrupt, audio was captured straight from the camera itself.. yes.. In other words, I know how I will rate the film. (good thing its for exhibition only). John was literally getting so drunk by the end of the shoot I couldn't find a good solid take so I was piecing it together like a mad man. I also actually made my brother tread water so he was pretty exhausted as well.

Perhaps one day I'll revist the location and life will be grand.

any and all crits are good, so definitely keep them coming. keep them comin.
/j

[Geoff_R]

The strongest part of your film is the story. I really like the ending as I feel many will have different views on what the ending itself represents. At first, I was a little lost and perhaps things were moving to slow but once his friend starts drowning off in the distance and the subsequent undecisive action by your lead, I think I understood your reasons for making the beginning as is.

Music was enjoyable (I've always liked your music); cinematography wasn't bad or anything but it didn't stand out as one of your strong points. Editing was good, it felt natural to me but what I think might have helped is if you'd gotten some CU's or at least some MCU's on your leads while at the dock. In their main convo, you're using mostly medium shots; I think if you had some tighter shots to work with there, the editing/pacing for those scenes would feel better. Just my 2 cents.

[Edgen]

Geoff,
Excellent, excellent! You know, I never ever thought of getting close ups of John or Jared. I think because the camera did not do so well that close and the audio at that point would have been WAAAY Out of whack.

ya, when I showed the ending to my mom, she... well. She didn't approve of her son drowning. So, I added the extra end to represent the pond itself. In the final ending of the film it really makes the film open ended.

Thank you for taking the time to give some feedback. Mucho appreciated. Specially about the score. It was really weird scoring my own project.

Btw, I'll have to find out what camera that was. I think it was a sony camera/recorder combo.

keep em rollin' in.

/j

[FlintMI]

SPOILER

He was dressed up at the end because he just got back from the funeral and couldn't stand it anymore, right?

I could not tell that was his buddy on the zip line. If we knew the friends 'NAME' when he came on the dock, then they said "there goes 'NAME' on the zip line again, wait, can he even swim?" that would have done it.

Thought you could have used more filmic 24p cine/gamma settings. it kinda looked like a one chip camera, and I'm sure people have said, no white shirts! no biggie.

great job man. I really thought it all came together when he was in the water looking back and forth back and forth. It really turned on that point.

and when he hits the water with that brick, I got the proverbial chill down my spine.

mission accomplished!

[VersuS]

Edgen I really liked it!!! STRONG SOLID STORY!!! But to me its the perfect DRAMA not horror. Its not a bad thing, actually its a Great thing!! You pulled of some very dramatic s@@@ and it worked in perfection!
Loved the score!!
Not sure about the sound though...sometimes I couldnt make out the dialogue, it would be the car or the score that would make a lot of noise and bump the sound levels way too high!
The acting was very strong especially your lead! The last scene when you cut to black then show him jump in is AMAZING!!! Probably gonna be one of the best shots in the fest!
The location was superb!!!
Is it ok that I found the scene with the guy falling with that pulley funny? Maybe that is the tragedy, he did something stupid/funny and ended up dead.
But man..when your guy jumps in the water and cant decide who to choose....WOW that really made me feel it was real! I put myself in his shoes immediately!! very strong!!!!

Great Job!!!

[Edgen]

SPOILER

He was dressed up at the end because he just got back from the funeral and couldn't stand it anymore, right?

I could not tell that was his buddy on the zip line. If we knew the friends 'NAME' when he came on the dock, then they said "there goes 'NAME' on the zip line again, wait, can he even swim?" that would have done it.

Thought you could have used more filmic 24p cine/gamma settings. it kinda looked like a one chip camera, and I'm sure people have said, no white shirts! no biggie.

great job man. I really thought it all came together when he was in the water looking back and forth back and forth. It really turned on that point.

and when he hits the water with that brick, I got the proverbial chill down my spine.

mission accomplished!

Thank you flint! Chills down the spine is what I wanted. I've been getting some fantastic feedback here, and yours most definitely helps. Yes. BW is exhibition because I was using a consumer camera. White shirts... Ya know, I'll now know next time. I did however; want 'john' to wear a white dress shirt. Reason is.. How many people actually wear white dress shirt? I've mostely encountered those in the waiting tables, bar tenders, etc. I wanted the audience to feel as thouh he's just another dude out in the world working a dead end job and comes home to his buddies place just to annoy him and drink beer. What a life eh?

as for the zipline... the 'super long and boring' extended cut (which I will release after the fest) probably helps solidify him more as a drugged out buddy just trying to have a bit of fun. Which, I had a friend like that.. "Hey, can i borrow this thanks. i'll be back...."

I'm glad the 'what to do next' aspect worked for you. Makes you wonder. Thank you for the review.

/j

[Edgen]

Edgen I really liked it!!! STRONG SOLID STORY!!! But to me its the perfect DRAMA not horror. Its not a bad thing, actually its a Great thing!! You pulled of some very dramatic s@@@ and it worked in perfection!
Loved the score!!
Not sure about the sound though...sometimes I couldnt make out the dialogue, it would be the car or the score that would make a lot of noise and bump the sound levels way too high!
The acting was very strong especially your lead! The last scene when you cut to black then show him jump in is AMAZING!!! Probably gonna be one of the best shots in the fest!
The location was superb!!!
Is it ok that I found the scene with the guy falling with that pulley funny? Maybe that is the tragedy, he did something stupid/funny and ended up dead.
But man..when your guy jumps in the water and cant decide who to choose....WOW that really made me feel it was real! I put myself in his shoes immediately!! very strong!!!!

Great Job!!!

JOhn/Versus... :) Drama? yes. I can see that. But to me, drowning is my biggest fear in life and no matter how good of a swimmer you are... there's only so much that the human body can do. Anyone here with a pool, jump and and tread water with your hands up. It's frakin' tough! (I can only do it for 9 minutes before i really give in)

Zipline hit!! YES!! YOu are supposed to laugh. It is a very jarring thud, and after a bit, I wanted you to be confused on whether to keep laughing or to sit back and say.. "F.. me.."

"the jump"... Yep. funny story behind that. Tape footage actually crapped out during that entire sequence. That short bit was all I had that was usable. I have extensive cutaways of him jumping in and even my other brother jumping from a distance which will be shown in the 'alt ending' at the end of the fest.

Thank you so much for the review. I really appreciate it.

oh.. glad you dig the score (http://www.edgenmusic.com/edgen_brown_waters.mp3) :)

/j

[jpbankesmercer]

Acting: Solid throughout. Very natural.
Script: Great script! Seriously.
Direction: Handheld added realism, worked well with performances, nicely building.
Music: Super, very film like, would love to work with you. Best for me. What keyboard sound module you using? Blew me away, very emotional.
Editing: Tight/ flowed.
Lighting: Natural.
Loved: The characters and concept, the use of background action (you knew something was going to happen.) Loved when he first came out of the water coughing, thought something nasty was going to happen, splash Foley, second leads reaction (paced beautifully), build towards the end.
Hated: Some of the voice audio,
Overall: A GREAT film!
Edgen, your one of the heroe's for me in this whole fest.
Top work!
J.P.

[Ralph Oshiro]

Edgen:

You produced in your story something very difficult to achieve. You created a credible dilemma for your protagonist, and its emotional impact was spot-on. And of course, the score was incredible. That last "hook" is still playing in my mind as I contemplate his "choice." Haunting.

[Matt Sconce]

I loved the pacing of this movie. The shots were great and the opening and closing sequences being at a different time than the story worked very well! It was a just a good movie. It made me so sad, and I think that is the way the character felt as well. Edgen, your music is great and the actors did well. The natural lighting worked well and your angles rocked. Just amazing stuff!

[Ralph Oshiro]

Edgen:

I just rewatched Brown Waters and screened it for my mom. Knowing the ending upon the second viewing made the impact of the story even stronger. This time, I appreciated the actors' performances even more. The score was even sadder and more poignant. I really cared about the drunk guy's character this time and I think your actors did an excellent job and were extremely credible. Of the shorts I've viewed so far, this one, above all others, clearly produced characters that were completely believeable as real people. Also, unlike any other short I've seen so far, I really cared about your characters, and was affected emotionally by both your story and your characters. So . . .

BEST in story.
BEST in creative story "problem" or conflict.
BEST in character portrayal.
BEST in acting.
BEST in score.

[Aaron Marshall]

Edgen:
BEST in story.
BEST in creative story "problem" or conflict.
BEST in character portrayal.
BEST in acting.
BEST in score.

wtf? Did we watch the same movie?

So far this has been one the weakest entry I've watched. I'm friends with Edgen, but I must be honest. So far the best score you have done was Aram's. Second would be Norm's. Third would be Alex's. Fourth place of your personal scores in my opinion would be Lakeside, and lastly unless you've scored others; this film. You were at a pond dude, not the battle of sterling.

The cinematography was ok as far as positioning and framing most of the time. This picture looked very dull and poorly lit. You should have used bounces, or not shot everything around high noon (I'm guessing). Nothing was defined. The characters I did not care for at all. They seemed like they all had behavioural problems. I didn't feel sympathetic. I did not see the horror in this film.

I just watched Creepshow 2, episode: The Raft. Now that is a horror movie. I was expecting a lot out of your setting.

I liked the University of Kentucky reference. I bet you miss home.

Overall, I appreciate that you got out there and shot. Your next one will probably be much better. You may have had too many things on your plate this fest. You scored I don't know how many scores and made two films? More power to you.

Sincerely,
Aaron

[Edgen]

Acting: Solid throughout. Very natural.
Script: Great script! Seriously.
Direction: Handheld added realism, worked well with performances, nicely building.
Music: Super, very film like, would love to work with you. Best for me. What keyboard sound module you using? Blew me away, very emotional.
Editing: Tight/ flowed.
Lighting: Natural.
Loved: The characters and concept, the use of background action (you knew something was going to happen.) Loved when he first came out of the water coughing, thought something nasty was going to happen, splash Foley, second leads reaction (paced beautifully), build towards the end.
Hated: Some of the voice audio,
Overall: A GREAT film!
Edgen, your one of the heroe's for me in this whole fest.
Top work!
J.P.

JP, Thank you so much for the kind words about the movie. All my music is software and sampled based Occasionally i'll throw in a live instrument. I think there is a quote out there for a game... "Soldiers fight in a war. Heroes die in them."

I'm not dead just yet. :)

cheers,
/j

[Edgen]

I loved the pacing of this movie. The shots were great and the opening and closing sequences being at a different time than the story worked very well! It was a just a good movie. It made me so sad, and I think that is the way the character felt as well. Edgen, your music is great and the actors did well. The natural lighting worked well and your angles rocked. Just amazing stuff!

Thank you Matt. I had a lot of decisions to make regarding the crap footage of the film and how I was going to handle it. I was even going to VO the entire thing just because the audio was so bad, but then I thought, funct it. who cares. At least I'm making a movie and submitting it.

thanks for watching.
/j

[Edgen]

Edgen:

I just rewatched Brown Waters and screened it for my mom. Knowing the ending upon the second viewing made the impact of the story even stronger. This time, I appreciated the actors' performances even more. The score was even sadder and more poignant. I really cared about the drunk guy's character this time and I think your actors did an excellent job and were extremely credible. Of the shorts I've viewed so far, this one, above all others, clearly produced characters that were completely believeable as real people. Also, unlike any other short I've seen so far, I really cared about your characters, and was affected emotionally by both your story and your characters. So . . .

BEST in story.
BEST in creative story "problem" or conflict.
BEST in character portrayal.
BEST in acting.
BEST in score.

Rez, Man, this means sooo much to me! I'm glad you understood the story and where it was coming from and what I tried to portray in the film. Your thoughts are invaluable and for that.. thank you. I will continue to push onward.

:) thanks for screening it with your mom. It probably was one of the few in the that did not deal with monsters, blood, knives, chainsaws, or pyschos. Perhaps I missed the typical horror genre mark?

cheers,
/j

[Edgen]

wtf? Did we watch the same movie?

So far this has been one the weakest entry I've watched. I'm friends with Edgen, but I must be honest. So far the best score you have done was Aram's. Second would be Norm's. Third would be Alex's. Fourth place of your personal scores in my opinion would be Lakeside, and lastly unless you've scored others; this film. You were at a pond dude, not the battle of sterling.

The cinematography was ok as far as positioning and framing most of the time. This picture looked very dull and poorly lit. You should have used bounces, or not shot everything around high noon (I'm guessing). Nothing was defined. The characters I did not care for at all. They seemed like they all had behavioural problems. I didn't feel sympathetic. I did not see the horror in this film.

I just watched Creepshow 2, episode: The Raft. Now that is a horror movie. I was expecting a lot out of your setting.

I liked the University of Kentucky reference. I bet you miss home.

Overall, I appreciate that you got out there and shot. Your next one will probably be much better. You may have had too many things on your plate this fest. You scored I don't know how many scores and made two films? More power to you.

Sincerely,
Aaron
Aaron, thank you for watching. :) I'm sorry you did not like the film. I know I can't please everyone and I know we all have different ideas in our heads of how to preceive the horror genre. I think I just took it in a completely different direction than the rest of the entries.

picture. yes. it was a consumer camera. Lighting. I had one crew (me) and two drunks with me. :)

characters. Behaviorial problems? Yes. You can't tell me that you have friends that fight and bicker all the time? This is pretty close to some of the friends I had growing up. We would fight and argue, and keep drinking the beer. Acting could have been better, but you have what you have to work with in the time period you are givin. (was back home for a week and I did this the day before I left)

Score. I can't argue here. My pond is epic to me dude. :)

thanks for watching.
/j

ps. "Dead Inside" was the 6th score.

[Paul Coleman]

Very subtle direction. And the film got through my defenses. Good stuff.:beer:

[Mark Johnson]

You know, this is the ONE film that has sort of fermented and preyed upon my mind over time. I keep coming back to the final scene and I'm struck with such a powerful emotion of ineffable sadness. That says a lot because this was the first film I watched. After all the others, this one keeps coming back to me.

[TheatreGuy]

Hey Edgen, First I want to say THANK YOU for mirroring these films last week. I thought that was very cool, you guys coming to the aid of Jarred.

Secondly, your film.

Man, I have come very close to drowning so this film was very haunting to me!

I loved your set-up in this film. An average day turned into a nightmare. It was so simple and simply told. You didn't force anything. It just unfolded at a natural pace.

I love the film opening with the ending. Very subtle. It didn't even connect for me until the ending! That was very cool.

I thought that the cinematography was at time stunning. Sometimes it was a bit uneven (lighting wise). But for the most part, it was just glorious. I loved the water-level shots!

The handheld camera work was at times, too much for me. I am not a huge fan of it unless I don't notice it and if I don't notice it then it was done right! A HUGE CHALLENGE I'M SURE!!! But this is all about learning and experimenting. I know that I need to tackle handheld and if I get it anywhere what you did, I'd be pleased. But, for me, handheld is a challenge and needs to be darn-near perfect. (but what is perfect hand-held? Therein lies the question!!! :) )

The music was soft, subtle and haunting. I liked it. It never, NEVER over-powered the action. And it had opportunities to do so, but you didn't let it happen. Great job!

I loved the torment that you brought into this film. A haunting horror flick of a different kind! A REAL kind. And the final shot was just horrifying. A man tormented by the loss of his two friends as he joins them in thier fate.

Great Job and congratulations!!!

Ted

[macintosh]

CINEMATOGRAPHY:

The water shots were great. Really gave everything a more personal feel by bringing the action closer. Theres definitely a lot of room for improvement here. A lot of the shots were very shaky, and I was a bit lost as to why you didn't use a tripod. Some shots had great framing, but then there were some that had a very point and shoot feel to them. Keep working though.

EDITING:

Most of the editing was just fine and flowed well. The transitions used to represent the passing of time while he was treading water were nice.

SOUND:

While most of the sound was easy to hear and the dialogue was easy to understand, the actual sound quality was lacking. It had sorta a flat feel. What mic did you use?

SCORE:

Worked very well in this film. It was very subtle during the beginning while he was treading the water which matched perfectly, and then during the end, it was very powerful, really helped with the emotion. It was a good match.

SCREENPLAY:

You had a real interesting idea here. It was good to see how the back story made way for the entire film and gave reasoning for the actual treading water bet.

ACTING:

I was a bit disappointed in the acting with this one. The lines didn't really feel natural and some of the dialogue seemed very childish. I'm not sure if it fit very well. A lot of the swearing seemed unnecessary and repetitive. The one part that really stuck out to me was when the one friend kicks the guy in his bad leg. It just felt really fake to me.

Overall the film wasn't too bad. You had a good idea and built a good storyline around it. Theres a lot of room for improvement but I have a feeling that you'll take everything you learned from this fest and really improve upon it. There's a lot of potential there, and I can't wait to see what you work on next.

[EJ Pennypacker]

Okay, so the camera work leaves a lot to be desired.

But this had an interesting idea behind it. And a good moment of suspense.

EJ

[gwmesler]

Great quality. The actors did a nice job, too.

[griffin]

I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this film. I was looking forward to this ever since I saw the poster and I was not let down. I'm going to post my review in the next few days when I finish viewing all of them, but I just wanted to say that you did a really good job as a whole for this.

[arielman]

I finally had a chance to watch it ..
Love the setting and the story ..

man what a choice to make ..who do you save ?
Nice job !!!.
sorry if I seemed rushed but man I am sooo far behind in viewing ..Work you know ..It's taking me away from the FEST ..GGRR
Ian

[Michael_Petro]

great idea(no blood no monster no girls with axes ;) ) I really liked the idea of this but it fell short to me(not by much though) I thought the anguished indecision was to long I found myself going, get that guy then get that guy. If I start the movie at about the 5 minute mark it has a whole different feel to me a better feel..I hate giving reviews like this cuz I know people bust ther ass to get these done, I know I did. But I want peoples honest opinions for mine (which go from it rocks to it sucks) so I guess I should do the same. I think with a little tweaking this movie would be pretty cool.

[Steve_Arm]

That was very emotional and the music did help it.

[Edgen]

come on fellas. Don't be scared. rip into it. I feel some of you are holding back. There have been some very helpful points and how am I supposed to get better if you don't rip it apart?

however; I appreciate you taking the time to comment.

keep them coming. I know most of the issues with the film, and I want to see if there's more that have not been mentioned.

/j

[kimko]

ok, the acting should be toned down. if you got acting actors play them in a mono tone sort of way, with little expression. yeah cause these cats are bored come on see how long you can tread water? like a napoleon dynamite sort of way. man this is a question that's hounded everybody in their life one time or another (choosing). good story. sad story............ man good work my friend, you are keeping busy!

[hvxabuser]

acting was too acted. lighting is key, natural light is fine but make sure you dont blow out the image.... story was eh... needed more explaination... lplus the title kinda doesnt fit.... other that that... we need to get you a dvx dude :)

[Lingothree]

hey there -

sorry to repeat anything already out there. no time to read through all the threads at this point!

your story kind of lost me. why are there a bunch of recreational vehicles running around behind the lake? who are these guys? what is their relationship with one another? what are the implications of the dude drowning? what does it have to do with the dudes treading water? why does the one guy jump in at the end? is he sad? is he killing himself? or is he just returning himself to the river? and why should we care?

i think if you flesh these elements out, you could have a good short since you seem to have a pretty good sensibility for the rest of the stuff. and as usual, your score is great.

[conrad_johnson]

I think this was kind of unfocused. Meaning I wasn't sure what was going on. It looked pretty bad as well. the music was great though.

Keep it up.

[Edgen]

hey there -

sorry to repeat anything already out there. no time to read through all the threads at this point!

your story kind of lost me. why are there a bunch of recreational vehicles running around behind the lake? who are these guys? what is their relationship with one another? what are the implications of the dude drowning? what does it have to do with the dudes treading water? why does the one guy jump in at the end? is he sad? is he killing himself? or is he just returning himself to the river? and why should we care?

i think if you flesh these elements out, you could have a good short since you seem to have a pretty good sensibility for the rest of the stuff. and as usual, your score is great.

Lingothree, Thank you for the review!

-I guess it's hard to explain why the guy was riding around on a bunch of rec vechiles... so I won't.
-Their relationship... Just a real time moment in any given day, with any given conversation between good friends. Ever heard that guys can argue, cuss each other out and still have a beer as if nothing happened?

eh. Too many questions. I obviously failed in this film. (or to some of you that is)

Music.. Thank you. i'm glad you at least liked the score.

/j

[Edgen]

I think this was kind of unfocused. Meaning I wasn't sure what was going on. It looked pretty bad as well. the music was great though.

Keep it up.
thanks for the review.
I wonder how many times I have to say that it was shot with a consumer camera? I can't begin to compete with the rest of the films, but that's cool. I'm ok with that. Next time.... Next time.

Glad you liked the music. (at least) :)

/j

[conrad_johnson]

thanks for the review.
I wonder how many times I have to say that it was shot with a consumer camera? I can't begin to compete with the rest of the films, but that's cool. I'm ok with that. Next time.... Next time.

Glad you liked the music. (at least) :)

/j
I realize it was shot with a consumer camera, that doesn't change the fact that it looks bad. You should be ready to hear that. You are very talented, so I don't want to cut you down, but everyone should stop with the exuses already. ( I didn' have enough time, people crapped out, blah blah.) It just gets tiring.
Sorry, I don't want to be a turd, but everyones got an exuse. There are lots of things I had problems with with my entry too, and people have pointed them out. It happens. Oh, well. But I don't make exuses, I just take it as a learning expirence.:)

[Edgen]

I realize it was shot with a consumer camera, that doesn't change the fact that it looks bad. You should be ready to hear that. You are very talented, so I don't want to cut you down, but everyone should stop with the exuses already. ( I didn' have enough time, people crapped out, blah blah.) It just gets tiring.
Sorry, I don't want to be a turd, but everyones got an exuse. There are lots of things I had problems with with my entry too, and people have pointed them out. It happens. Oh, well. But I don't make exuses, I just take it as a learning expirence.:)

Bad to me... Meaning, Physically, the quality of the movie was bad. NOw.. if you said,.. your film was "Bad" meaning, I'd rather go watch CNN, then that's fine.

I realize I had problems and I'm not giving an excuse. (at least not trying to) I just wanted to know more in depth of "Why" you thought it was bad instead of just saying..


...It looked pretty bad as well.

I want to grow in this experience and if you can't go into reasons, then I'm not learning anything.

So... :) Rip into if if you will! no holds bar people. I want to get better.

/j

[conrad_johnson]

The camera itself looks bad to me. Now if you played into that and maybe (now I'm not an idea man here!) some other "friend" was doing the recording (so there's a motivation behind the look of the consumer cam) then it would have worked more. The shots you did were nice, there was just a lack in quality, be it contrast or blown-out highlights, Im not sure, but something looked off. And if you know it's going to be poor quality, then give it a motivation. That's all.:)

[Edgen]

There we go! That's what I like to hear :)

Contrast and blownout highlights.

I'm sure it's also due to the aweful audio and that you can hear my dumbass breathing in some of the shots, bad wind, and fumbling the camera around. My other option was to just ADR the whole thing, but... it just wasn't worth it.

Keep the comments rolling...

/j

[conrad_johnson]

Thanks for being such a good sport.:)

[Tom Marshall]

Hey Justin, I'll get to a review as soon as all this insanity I'm going through right now is over with! Hey, you should swing by this weekend. We'll put you in as an extra even! ;)

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

I got the relationships but I know these guys, or guys like these guys.
Story had a powerful conclusion and nice score and some nice editing there.
I think it's too long by a 3rd and in the wrong festival (it's not horror it's just tragic).
I appreciated the natural performances and dialogue and payoff of the story. And the low fi video look didn't bother me for one second. In fact I didn't even notice it.
:thumbsup:

[TheatreGuy]

Hey Edgen, Congratulations to you and Good luck!

I enjoyed watching your work!

This has been a blast!!!

Ted

[jpbankesmercer]

All the best guys!

[mentatDUKE]

Hey Edgen.
This was an interesting piece. My friends and I had a lot of fun watching this. Very offbeat characters. Funny voices, motivaions and relationships.
The acting and dialogue delivery was ok. Cinematography, score, and editing was ok.
Liked the moral conundrum at the end.

The guy on the zipline came out of nowhere. We were in stiches.

We were a bit confused since we couldn't "figure out" the movie until that final scene.

The humor at the begining sharply contrasts with the sad, weightiness at the end. Masterfully done.
I think it'll stay with us for a while. Pretty memorable and unique tale.

[Norm Sanders]

Just finally getting the time to copy the notes I compiled in a Word doc while watching the shorts:

The CC really helped to take a lower consumer end camera & make the image a lot nicer. Fairly good camera & editing, though the acting was rough by the drunken lead, I felt. I didn’t get how this was a horror until the very end, and indeed … having to choose between who to save would be horrific, no doubt. Still room to improve the overall sound design/levels, though the score was solid & effective, & didn’t try to rule the film … a compliment considering the film was made by a composer. J

[sean90291]

Some of the best performances in the fest. As Jack pointed out, they're very natural. Captured the type of guys perfectly. Was it largely improvisation?

[Edgen]

I know some of you guys thought it took too long to 'get to the point' of my film, "Brown Waters"... but I've uploaded the original cut of the film.

In the next few days if you have nothing better to do.. give it a watch. This cut is with another piece of music and is actually what I based the first movie on. Some scenes are completely cut out because I didn't get a chance to capture the footage at that time. It's 9:45 minutes running time. So... for those of you liked the dry funny accents and monotone deliveries.. here ya go.

http://edgen.hostpaw.com/edgen_brown_waters_extended.mov

I also said I would release the final final ending. so I'll do that here in a few days.

yup. word is bond. James Bond.
/j

[Edgen]

and yep.


www.edgen.com/brownwaters



finally got an official site up. Hopefully i'll add more to it as the film progresses on it's journey.

/j

[jonE5]

what was this shot on?

[Edgen]

it was my brother's DV cam: Samsung DS-D6550. (http://www.amazon.com/Samsung-SCD6550-Camcorder-Optical-Digital/dp/B0007QN89M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1253886419&sr=8-1)

One day I will reshoot this film on a better camera and better actors. and longer. :)

thanks for watching.
/j