ANONYMOUS - Anthem78/CineMark

[CineMark]

ANONYMOUS

This is our first short film. Let us know what you think.

Thanks for watching!

[mrpunch]

I found this well executed. The story left me wanting more - and that's the point, right! The only criticism I have is the TV news footage - it didn't work for me.

Nice work!

[CineMark]

Thanks for the good criticism.

[Aaron Marshall]

This is one of my personal favorites so far in the fest. The only thing that got me like mrpunch said, was the TV. Not so much the TV, or how it was executed, but what was going on within that reality. A cop wouldn't openly admit that these bullets just fell in an unexplainable fashion.

#1: He'd get made fun of all over the force for such a claim. "Oh look it's Spooky Mulder"
#2: Ego; he'd just collect the bullets and claim he captured the criminal. It would boost his career.

It's possible it could go down like how it was portrayed, but those 2 things up above kept eating at me.

This is just a small gripe in an otherwise great film. I like the bullet extraction from the arm. That was very well done.

[Mike McNeese]

I like the bullet extraction from the arm.

Same sentiments here. News story stood out - it wasn't bad, just awkward. And the bullet extraction thing was sweet - I'd love to hear about how you did that. Would you consider cutting that shot in half? I was into it, but it was up for a long time.

[snodart]

Very nice. Has the feel of an extended trailer, which works for this contest. Great story/title idea. Great shots. Nice work on making the news footage on the TV. Bullet extraction = great. The drip of blood at start is perfect. Same as stated already though, the cop's lines aren't believable. Great lighting, shot comp, titles, score, voice over, .... I also liked what was said in the voice over - felt real.

Nice work! Looks like the skills and tools are there for other great work.

[CineMark]

Thanks guys! I appreciate all the good feedback.

We had the same feelings about the news footage, but it was one of those things we just didn't have time to reshoot. It started raining, and that was all we had.

As far as the bullet extraction — Thanks! That was a lot of hard work, but a lot of fun also. I can explain more after voting - I just don't know the rules and what we're allowed and not allowed to talk about.

[Mark Dog]

liked the stopiong of the bullet great plot mark , was this shot on dvx or hvx,??? and what u use for edtiting CC?? and ur lighting setup


peace n luv

Mark Dog

[Anthem78]

thanks for the great feedback everyone.

I don't know how much I'm allowed to get into, but it was shot on the DVX100B, edited and color corrected in Final Cut Pro. All color correction was done in post - we tried to just capture the best image we could on set.

Titles and effects (bullets stopping, etc.) were done in After Effects.

Lighting setup was mainly an Arri 1000W Fresnel with a softbox and an Arri 300W Fresnel.

I'll post some stills (CC, detailed effects stuff) after I find out what I can and cannot say before the voting.

[Beat Takeshi]

I loved the look of this. 35mm adapter?
That opening wide shot was really sweet and the edits bringing the girl into the shot was cool. I wanted some atmosphere though there. Some nice volumetric lights beaming past him to the spot where she lay.
The last shot was really nice with the eye.

[Mike McNeese]

I just watched this again, and I must say that your talent with lighting and composing a shot shine through in this piece. None of the angles were boring or cliche.

I'm gonna get really picky, though...the shot with him on the chair, his eyes are barely in frame, I wasn't sure if what you wanted the viewer to be looking that there...his eyes, his arm? The over-the-head shot from the fridge...was that a little grainy? And, like has been said, this leaves me wanting...but maybe it leaves out too much. Yeah, it's 5:00, but I would like do have seen your talents shine through with a more apparent plot/conflict.

Seriously, though, I'm being picky. You are showing some talent and potential and my comments are more of a challenge than anything else. This one is a standout in my book.

[CineMark]

We really appreciate that. We worked super hard on this and it's nice to know it paid off. And I don't mind you being picky, that's what we're here for.

To answer your questions:
The chair shot/eyes in frame: good call. our focus was more on the arm and the action of slowly rolling up that sleeve, even the look on his face - but more the seriousness in the mouth - not so much the eyes. But that's a good comment, and something to remember.
The fridge shot may have been a TOUCH grainy - but I know compression hurt that a bit also. We shot that only with some spill light coming from another room, and of course the original refrigerator light. Anything else was too bright or "lit", and we needed it dark and moody, even if that meant just a bit of grain.
As far as it leaving you wanting: I guess that's the point. We wrote this and edited it to the original 5 minute mark before there was a 6 minute option. And it was important to us to have good intros and credits. Maybe there is more we could have done...

And trust me, we're totally picky on ourselves too. There were more shots that we dropped because they didn't add anything or maybe were not as well-composed. I really appreciate your pickyness —*it makes us all better.

Lighting is one of our favorite parts of filming, and we feel like we always need to improve. It means a lot to us that you really like the lighting and composition.

Again, thanks. I REALLY appreciate those comments.

[CineMark]

I loved the look of this. 35mm adapter?
That opening wide shot was really sweet and the edits bringing the girl into the shot was cool. I wanted some atmosphere though there. Some nice volumetric lights beaming past him to the spot where she lay.
The last shot was really nice with the eye.

Yes sir, 35mm adapter. My brother (Anthem78) can tell you exactly which one, but I think dvxuser Twocik made it for us. It's a great piece.

[Anthem78]

No doubt. We can only get better.

I noticed the grain in post on the over the fridge shot, and I'm not sure where it's coming from. I didn't adjust the gain in-camera, so maybe it came in post from bumping up the whites.

And yes, the adapter was from Chris "twocik23". I've been really happy with it so far. We used a variety of lenses (50/1.4, 50mm macro, and a 135mm). I would have liked another lens, but the money was already being stretched.

[conrad_johnson]

The FBI profiles was an interesting way of telling the story in the beginning - I liked it.

The shot of the bullet being pulled from the arm was a bit too long. It was just over the bordeline between being just long enough to make the viewer feel uncomfortable, and making it apparent that you're TRYING to make the viewer feel uncomfortable.

The voiceover kind of sounded like it was recorded in a shoebox.

Cinematography and lighting were excellent. Last shot was great.

Story kind of lost me in the end - can you clarify what it meant by revenge being expensive? Is he saving up the FBI's reward money to buy guns and bombs and stuff to go after the people who killed his family? Or is he saving up the FBI's reward money to buy a bunch of bangin' escalades and roleys to make the FBI jealous? That was lost on me.

Good work!

[CineMark]

The hard part about the arm shot is that we basically had one take. So to get the drip and then to get the bullet out made the shot a bit too long. Maybe there is something we can do later to shorten that part, but basically it would be to lose the initial drip.

We were running out of time to make the original deadline, and I just couldn't get the voiceover right. I was getting over a cold and recorded the latest I could, but it was still not ideal.

Thank you on cinematography and lighting. And FBI shots.

As far as the money, that is being used to buy guns and bombs and stuff to go after the people who killed his family. See, you got it. That is why we showed the plans and spy shots of the people and his area where he was working on his revenge plans. We were going to have more plans, and a model of an armored vehicle that he was building — but again, there was a deadline to meet!

Thank you though, it was fun and we hope you liked it.

[Anthem78]

Shoebox? They're on to us. We'll have to line the shoebox with foam next time.

Thanks for all the feedback, though. Please keep it coming.

[CineMark]

oops. looks like we were replying at the same time.

[Edgen]

Well, not much I can really say without sounding like a record.

So, i'll say it anyway. :)

here's my stuff in short:
I dug the shots/angles.
dramatic angles were nice.
I'm glad the phone didn't ring.
The Bullet wound was crazy! just too damn long. If he's super and not pain, he'd rip it out.
The guy on the TV. eh.. I'm not sure I believed his performance.
Music.. I think was appropriate. The Rock elements worked well. cheers. The orchestral stuff was very effective in the montage.
REally dug the sfx for the montage.
I got the story and understood why the character wanted to stay anonymous. I kind wish you had one key villain though that you were going after. The montage didn't tell too much. Terrorists?
FX and bullets. Nice touch. Framing for that shot. I dig it.
Lighting. The 'most wanted' looked like they were being interviewed for a reality show set in a dark creepy mansion with a butler as the killer. I would have liked to perhaps seen their faces interweaved throughout the first half. That would have chopped up your bullet hole plucking.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the film. You guys know your stuff.

cheers!
/j

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

what a great looking and styisticly sophisticated piece.

the ilghting and composition in those early shots was extremely well done including the title appearence.

I have some of the same dings as mentioned above, but they've already been said.

Looked great and I dug the concept!

- Jack

[RDragonFilms]

I think this was the first one I got a chance watch yesterday. I loved it, had that "spiderman" feeling to it. The monolouge was great, the shots were crisp and clear.. and him getting that bullet out of his arm? OUCH. That was a pretty realistic wound there. he just kept.. digging haha Loved it
The news. could have been done a little better ( I think it lacked background sounds and um... the hum of the tv or a little static would have been great additions! ) For your first short film? Awesome job :)

[wesley]

excellent short. great atmosphere created with good lightning and good camera work.

loved it.

[eyespy]

i just finished reading the posts, and I think you have received some honest and sincere feedback, much of which I will not reiterate. This is a great start for a first-time film. I cringed when I watched the lead "dig" for bullet in his arm...yikes. This was nice, but the shot could have been shortened - especially for your "weak in the stomach" type of audience! HAHA!

Just wish there was a little more plot to the film. Appeared to be more of a pilot for a future series than a full-circle film. But I guess this can develop with time, right?

You should be proud of your first film. Congratulations.

[Anthem78]

Thanks for the great feedback everyone - I love hearing it. I probably will re-edit at some point with all this in mind. We did our best, but we're still learning.

If there are any questions on anything, please ask.

[theloniusjones]

i thought your cinematography, lighting, and color were excellent. i'll bite on the questions offer:

how did your get the 2.35:1 cinemascope aspect ratio? did you crop? use an anamorphic adapter?

did you use much color correction or is the look all lighting and in-camera?

how did you do your credits? where did you get the logos? are they vector files (like eps)?

nice work. i thought it looked great.

[OmaR]

I have really appreciated this short; very well done...
I'm at my first experience too but I'm very far from your work!

just a question:

how did you shoot the arm-bullet scene??? I need an instruction manual:love4:

[CineMark]

I loved it, had that "spiderman" feeling to it.


Thanks for the compliment. In what way do you mean this had that "spiderman" feeling to it? I'd love to have more of an explanation. But thanks!

[CineMark]

i thought your cinematography, lighting, and color were excellent. i'll bite on the questions offer:

Thank you, and I'll be happy to answer.

how did your get the 2.35:1 cinemascope aspect ratio? did you crop? use an anamorphic adapter?

We shot it all on 16:9 squeeze and then cropped in post. It made it more of a challenge to remember for framing during shooting, but it was worth it. My brother (Anthem78) can explain it better, because he did the editing.

did you use much color correction or is the look all lighting and in-camera?

we did all the color correction in post. we shot with tungsten lights with no gels or filters, just straight light so that we would have the most original, true footage so we could have a broader range of color to play with, as opposed to getting stuck with a color on tape and then not having as much range to fix it.

how did you do your credits? where did you get the logos? are they vector files (like eps)?

Again, my brother can answer this better, as he did them. I know he created the credits as a photoshop file and then imported that in FCP and adjusted the scroll time there. As far as the logos, that's what the internet is for. TV is equal to 72dpi, which is the average web resolution for images, as opposed to 300dpi needed for print. So it was no problem to find the images at that lower resolution. Of course we did some photoshop work to clean them up and make sure they were white on black.
But we're both graphic designers during our day jobs, so this kind of stuff was easy for us.

nice work. i thought it looked great.

I really appreciate that. Thanks.

[CineMark]

how did you shoot the arm-bullet scene??? I need an instruction manual:love4:

What do you mean? I had someone really shoot me in the arm. This is cinema!

No, actually it was a complicated process. I have to leave in a minute, so I will post later tonight the details of how we did it. Latex, more latex, makeup, 3 types of blood, and a bullet.

Thanks.

[MiataFilmSomething]

I only watched this one once, but here is what I remember:

Pros - Great feel. Just a neat flow and good use of time. I was intrigued.

Cons - Not too many that I can remember off the top of my head, maybe a little less time listing all the villians who were captured.

Overall - A unique film, and in this day and age of films, I feel that's one of the best compliments I can give.

[OmaR]

What do you mean? I had someone really shoot me in the arm. This is cinema!
:grin:

[Brandon Rice]

Nicely shot film... well done... the VO was bad at times (some audio pops on certain words) But the images made up for that flaw... I really liked the story, and the look of your film.

[Steve_Arm]

This film has character.
It gives the impression though that it's a trailer for a big movie.
One thing that I didn't like was that I felt that the whole short is centered around the superdooper "take the bullet out from the hand" effect.
Overall it has nice mood and camera work and colors.

[OmaR]

I think that the main criticism here is that the take-the-bullet-out-from-the-arm scene is too long...

I absolutely disagree with this opinion: we need this kind of scene in order to understand the physical pain of the main character; it isn't just for understand what happened to him, but to feel how he feels...

I don't know if it's clear, my english has to be improved :)

[soffcore]

best of the festival imo. you guys didn't try to do too much in the five minutes allotted, just set up a cool character around a cool FX set piece (bullet extraction) and it really worked for me. many of these films seem to be trying to cram in as much story as possible, and it seems that more than a few will have extended cuts out shortly. i'm all for story, but i find i'm having trouble following the plots of a lot of these films. this was what it was, a tight little short with some great cinematography and a character i'd like to see more of.

it's not totally clear what happened to the guy's family, or who was responsible, but it doesn't really matter. i still dig it.

a+ you guys!

[CineMark]

Again, thanks everybody.

Omar, to answer your earlier question about the bullet wound, here's what we did:

1. Used a latex "prosthetic" of a bullet wound as the base, and glued that to my arm with spirit gum (note: you nave to use 'spirit gum remover' to get it off). I also had to shave my arm hair in that spot for it to adhere properly.

2. Applied liquid latex to blend in the edges of the prosthetic. We applied it with a sponge, dried it with a hairdryer (thoroughly), applied a second coat and dried it again.

3. Blended it into my skin (color) with some Matte makeup. This is the only area where I wish we did something a little different. We used a commercial women's makeup (maybelline dream matte mousse), because it was the best i could find with a good match to my skin color. Next time I would use a professional fx makeup, something like aquacolors or an item from Ben Nye. These are more of a paint than a makeup and would have worked much better, but I would have had to order online and didn't know the exact match for my skin. The makeup we used really soaked in to the latex and was hard to get right, but we made it work.

4. Next we applied 3 different types of blood: Ben Nye Fresh Scab, which is very very thick and provided a good base inside the wound as well as for the "dried blood" areas on the arm; Cinema Secrets Blood Gel which was very thick and gooey, but not real runny, we used that as a second layer in areas; and then FXwarehouse stage blood, which was very red and runny, and provided the blood used for the drip and the overall top layer. It was a combination of the last two bloods that was used to stain the shirt.

5. As far as the bullets, we bought a box of 9mm bullets, actually just the component, the part of the bullet that actually gets fired. I cut a few in half with a Dremel and then just wedged the back half into the wound until the end was just under the edge of the wound, covered it with blood, and started shooting. We had to be VERY careful putting the bullet into the wound, because it was an extremely tight fit. But it worked.

[Matt Sconce]

Again, thanks everybody.

Omar, to answer your earlier question about the bullet wound, here's what we did:

1. Used a latex "prosthetic" of a bullet wound as the base, and glued that to my arm with spirit gum (note: you nave to use 'spirit gum remover' to get it off). I also had to shave my arm hair in that spot for it to adhere properly.

2. Applied liquid latex to blend in the edges of the prosthetic. We applied it with a sponge, dried it with a hairdryer (thoroughly), applied a second coat and dried it again.

3. Blended it into my skin (color) with some Matte makeup. This is the only area where I wish we did something a little different. We used a commercial women's makeup (maybelline dream matte mousse), because it was the best i could find with a good match to my skin color. Next time I would use a professional fx makeup, something like aquacolors or an item from Ben Nye. These are more of a paint than a makeup and would have worked much better, but I would have had to order online and didn't know the exact match for my skin. The makeup we used really soaked in to the latex and was hard to get right, but we made it work.

4. Next we applied 3 different types of blood: Ben Nye Fresh Scab, which is very very thick and provided a good base inside the wound as well as for the "dried blood" areas on the arm; Cinema Secrets Blood Gel which was very thick and gooey, but not real runny, we used that as a second layer in areas; and then FXwarehouse stage blood, which was very red and runny, and provided the blood used for the drip and the overall top layer. It was a combination of the last two bloods that was used to stain the shirt.

5. As far as the bullets, we bought a box of 9mm bullets, actually just the component, the part of the bullet that actually gets fired. I cut a few in half with a Dremel and then just wedged the back half into the wound until the end was just under the edge of the wound, covered it with blood, and started shooting. We had to be VERY careful putting the bullet into the wound, because it was an extremely tight fit. But it worked.



Thank you for taking the time to give us an awesome bullet tutorial! I learned a lot. Great Lighting in your film!!! :)

[CineMark]

To address the comments about the bullet scene taking too long:

If you think it took too long, we're sorry to dissappoint. We felt that it was important to show that this guy could dig into his arm with a pair of tweezers and pull out the bullet he was shot with. It contributed to 1) his strength and resilience to pain, and 2) to the fact that this guy lives a life of loneliness and can't go to a doctor or a hospital to get fixed up.

Also, if you notice he never stitched himself up because the wound will heal itself, he just needed to take out the foreign object.

Another point to notice is that there were more bullets in the tin on the table — so he's done this before. It was important to us to relay that even though he can stop bullets, he can't stop everything, he's not perfect. Also, bullets don't just bounce off him as they do Superman. It was also hinted at in the voiceover, "sometimes i think about letting those bullets through", leading us to believe that maybe he let's one through once in a while to see if he can feel something finally, or to satisfy a darker side of himself — like a someone cutting their own arms to feel the pain and see the blood.


Again, our main message in this story was that this guy lives a life of solitude and loneliness. There's no glory in being a superhero, no Wayne Manor, no Mary Jane or Lois Lane, just a lonely life hiding your identity. It was our take on a modern day super hero, in a world where there are no superheroes. There's no acceptance of anyone who is different.
It's along those same thoughts that we wrote the cop's lines —*we wanted him to just be dumbfounded and bewildered. He didn't care what he said to the news reporter; he didn't know what to say. He had never seen anything like it, it was a phenomenon.


Anyway, I'm glad everyone seems to like it so far. And thank you so much for some really good honest feedback. These are al things we may go back and fix or at least keep in mind for our next film.

And we REALLY appreciate the good remarks on cinematography and lighting, as this is what we love to do and want to get really really good at.

Briceman, thanks for the feedback on the voiceover. I will see if I can fix those pops. Again, this is our first film, so it was our very first time ever working with sound, so we were learning as we went along. I hope the next time our sound will have no issues.

Soffcore — you rock! Thanks for the awesome comments. You seem to feel the same way we do. We wrote this specifically to be 5 minutes long, no longer. We wanted to respect the viewer's time and slow down the pace so they could really understand our character. And it seems that it worked for you. About 85 more posts and you can vote, so please keep at it!!


AWESOME GUYS!!! Thanks so much. We love it.

[soffcore]

If this was your first film, what were you doing before? I honestly think it's the best cinematography in the fest.

And yeah, it's hard to balance the plot in a five minute short. We were trying to get our film down to five minutes and couldn't even come close; it's pushing 20 min.

But your film isn't about a specific story other than your main character's personal one.

1 down, 84 to go, I guess!!

[OmaR]

1. Used a latex "prosthetic" of a bullet wound as the base, and glued that to my arm with spirit gum (note: you nave to use 'spirit gum remover' to get it off). I also had to shave my arm hair in that spot for it to adhere properly.

2. Applied liquid latex to blend in the edges of the prosthetic. We applied it with a sponge, dried it with a hairdryer (thoroughly), applied a second coat and dried it again.

3. Blended it into my skin (color) with some Matte makeup. This is the only area where I wish we did something a little different. We used a commercial women's makeup (maybelline dream matte mousse), because it was the best i could find with a good match to my skin color. Next time I would use a professional fx makeup, something like aquacolors or an item from Ben Nye. These are more of a paint than a makeup and would have worked much better, but I would have had to order online and didn't know the exact match for my skin. The makeup we used really soaked in to the latex and was hard to get right, but we made it work.

4. Next we applied 3 different types of blood: Ben Nye Fresh Scab, which is very very thick and provided a good base inside the wound as well as for the "dried blood" areas on the arm; Cinema Secrets Blood Gel which was very thick and gooey, but not real runny, we used that as a second layer in areas; and then FXwarehouse stage blood, which was very red and runny, and provided the blood used for the drip and the overall top layer. It was a combination of the last two bloods that was used to stain the shirt.

5. As far as the bullets, we bought a box of 9mm bullets, actually just the component, the part of the bullet that actually gets fired. I cut a few in half with a Dremel and then just wedged the back half into the wound until the end was just under the edge of the wound, covered it with blood, and started shooting. We had to be VERY careful putting the bullet into the wound, because it was an extremely tight fit. But it worked.
Very helpful! :dankk2:

[Isaac_Brody]

I really dug this one. I thought it was well executed, and I thought the cinematography and effects were very well done. This has already been mentioned, but some shots could use some trimming.

I think the first shot is held too long. I would cut it at sixteen or seventeen seconds. You hold onto it until 20-21 seconds into the film, much too long. I really like the second shot, bullets floating in the air. It's cool.

I like the FBI profiles, but I think you could cast/direct the profiles better. If you look at FBI profiles of murderers/rapists/general scum of the society the portraits tend to look pretty scary. It's like they all have that anti-social personality stare. Not all of your portraits have that. The first portrait has that. I know it's nitpicky, but I like to err on the side of making little details believable.

I love the bullet removal shot. Very very realistic. As already mentioned, it's too long, but a great shot. I think you could jump cut it from him inserting the tweezers to the bullet removal and then the bullet dropped into the tray.

The news footage was already brought up. I think you should reshoot it as an interview between a reporter and the cop. It wouldn't be hard to have the reporter grill the cop about details and have him flustered. The reporter asks about the bullets found at the scene, and the cop could give the standard answer of "no comment at this time."

I think the last part of VO dialogue could use some work. This was already brought up, but this piece is like a trailer. It's a great setup to a longer thriller. As far as tweaking the voiceover I would work on the language. To my ear some of the lines are weak. The line, "Basically I capture the FBI's criminals for the money." stuck out. I think you need to figure out a larger plot and redo the VO. At this point the government is responsible for the brother and father's death. You've made the enemy abstract, the government. The hero can't focus his revenge on an abstract. If you make the focus a person, a big wig in the FBI or the government, you give the hero a specific purpose.

And, here's a story paradox I'm not sure you have the answer to. He's killing people on the FBI's most wanted list for money, but he's anonymous. How does he collect the payment? I don't think you need to reshoot to fix this paradox, you just need to rewrite the VO to focus the revenge and give the story a specific direction. Kill Bill is about Kiddo's search for Bill. Anonymous needs a similar specific goal. It could be a specific former OPs special forces big whig who tried to dissect the hero's brother and father to find out how they tick.

I really enjoyed this and the details, atmosphere, and effects were top notch. I hope you keep working on this, it's got potential to be a very cool cloak and dagger thriller. :kali:

[OmaR]

I like the FBI profiles, but I think you could cast/direct the profiles better. If you look at FBI profiles of murderers/rapists/general scum of the society the portraits tend to look pretty scary. It's like they all have that anti-social personality stare. Not all of your portraits have that. The first portrait has that. I know it's nitpicky, but I like to err on the side of making little details believable.
This is actually the only "mistake" in the short. At the beginning I thought it was a sort of parody... :huh:

I love the bullet removal shot. Very very realistic. As already mentioned, it's too long, but a great shot.
I don't know why all you guys think like that... It is really difficult to look at that scene, and it is in my opinion its strenght

[Alex DePew]

Great job guys. This is great for a first short. I am in the same boat. Isn't getting your first short in the can an amazing experience? I loved doing it and have a jones to dive into the next one. But first I have to take a little time to recharge and give all the other people in this contest a thorough viewing and comments.

I really liked the feel of this one. The cinematography was very tight and the camerwork was also very good. I won't get too much into already well trod areas but the v.o. needs work, but mainly in terms of tightening up the story. Should be easy enough. The visuals are great. I just think you need to rewrite the lines to make it pop ore and clear up some issues. Like Isaac mentioned, the government line and getting money from them to fight them was confusing. I would also cut the line, or change it where you say "this boring house." maybe change it to "this boring life?" The line I did like a lot was the wish I could feel something right before he pulls out the bullet. That was great by the way (and yes I agree, as most have mentioned, a tad too long).

Onto the things I really liked. The opening sequence was very good. I really liked the sound design through this whole sequence. Also liked the end title going from blurred to clear, but hazy and then poof! he's gone. Was that after effects smoke? Looked kinda real to me.

Lastly, I think in general it is better to show than to tell. I know the v.o. is there to explain what is going on, but I would cut down the v.o. It is obviously neccessary to the story as it is shot, but I think it could be distilled. And as for the last shot of a close up on Anonymous before the credits I would have him blink only once bfore going to black.

Nice work guys. Look forward to your next one. Are you planning on entering Horrorfest?

Alex

[MsManhattan]

I like the open and love the shots of the FBI's most wanted. The score is cool, too. Congrats!

[Barry_Green]

This is your first short ever? :shocked:

Very impressive debut!

[Kholi]

This is your first short ever? :shocked:

Very impressive debut!

I thought the same thing. I guess some people just "get it". Yeah?

[sean90291]

For me, Anonymous is the best of the Herofest films. Really well shot. The music is great. A well written script. I really liked it. Shows a lot of control over your craft.

[Chris Messineo]

I thoroughly enjoyed your film. I thought the cinematography was top notch and the effects (especially the wound) were superb. I also thought the twist ending was great. I can't wait to see more from you.

Chris

[Mike McNeese]

I like the FBI profiles, but I think you could cast/direct the profiles better.

I agree...that was something that stuck out to me...your friends are too clean cut. You need trashier friends.

[jpbankesmercer]

Well done, great job!

I really liked your visuals. I didn't like the beginning, felt that your criminals looked too normal. Once you got going I enjoyed it. Loved the wound. Would have liked
to see the ECU when bullet was being taken out. Also the first and last shots looked amazing, the last shot rang true SuperHero.

Good job. Slow for me at the start but you got my attention.

A truly spiffing short for your first outing.
J.p.

[Anthem78]

I don't know where to start - my G5 crapped out on me Tuesday (wouldn't even start - $1200 to replace the logic board and power supply - good thing it's still under warranty) so I'm way behind on reading and responding to these posts.

I'll try to cover what I can, in whatever order I can remember:

1. We do need dirtier friends. I agree. But we used what we had available.

2. Thank you for the specific feedback on the voiceover, it's definetly something to keep in mind if we re-edit.

3.What did we do before this? Dream. We both got jobs as graphic designers while we were still in college, and it's been a good job, so we stayed. This was always what we wanted to get into, we've just finally jumped in. I wish it was sooner, but we're still relatively young.

4. As for the paradox, we discussed that when we were writing the film. How would an anonymous hero collect his money and still stay anonymous? This could be reworked, but our initial thinking was that he has an arangement with the FBI, like a numbered account in Zurich that they deposit his reward money into. As long as they keep up their end of the deal, he keeps up his.

5. The vengeance can be a lot to get into. Maybe a sequel one day...

6. I know the length of the bullet shot has been beaten to death, but it is what is. If it makes you uncomfortable (which wasn't the objective), try taking a bullet out of your arm. It may take a while.
But I think what it really came down to was the limited number of takes we did of this shot, and it really took this long to extract the bullet – as my brother stated in an earlier post, we cut a bullet in half and wedge it into the prosthetic. It honestly took this long to get it out.

7. Alex, yes wrapping your first short is an amazing feeling. The wheels are already turning for what to do next...

8. Thanks for the kind words Barry. That means a lot coming from you. Coming from everybody really. To get this sort of response is more than I ever hoped for.

I'll try to cover more points later. I'm sure I missed something. Anyway, thank you all so much. And I love the honest criticism - it only makes you better.

[Anthem78]

And I say we so much because we're twins. And don't ask, all the shots of the hero are my brother, Mark. My only cameo is laying in the road at the beginning. No stunt doubles.

[Kaz]

I'm late to this party, so I can't add much. Maybe this was said earlier, but the bullet extraction scene could've used a CU insert of the guy's face or something to help cut down on the time it took.

Anyways, the lighting and composition were standouts. For a first film, this was SOLID. Great job, fellas.

[Anthem78]

Thanks for the good words Kaz.

[TC]

You guys rocked it, the cinematography, acting, dialog, everything was tip-top notch.

I don't really have any critisisms other than that the cop's acting was pretty hammy.

Very cinematic... I think I'll go watch it again right now.

EDIT: The only other thing that I can think of is the shot where he is pulling the bullet out. I realize that you were going for the effect of us feeling his pain, but it didn't look realistic enough to really pull that off (IMO). I kept seeing where the prosthetic (or whatever you used) ended and where his arm began.

[Norm Sanders]

This rec'd among the highest scores on my sheet for FX and lighting. Absolutely top notch. Can't believe this is your guys' first film. Can't wait to see more from you.

That said, the VO didn't work for me (sound wise, it was too close to the mic, or not mixed well in post), and I also couldn't stand the news cast.

Good music too, and a KILLER custom made mask. Great job guys.

[CineMark]

TC: thanks for the good words. we may try to reshoot the news if we have time. sorry the wound didn't do it for you.

Envision: thanks so much for the good marks in FX and lighting. that's awesome to hear. as said, this was our first time recording sound, so that is something we're working on. we'll get it right...

thanks for the comment about the music also. that worked out great. i was working on the soundtrack, and my friend (the 4th FBI most wanted at the beginning) asked how everything was going. after some discussion about the soundtrack, he gave me a demo CD from his future brother-in-law's band. with some tweaking, such as extending the bassline, it fit almost perfectly. so that was cool.

it's good to hear a comment on the mask. we worked so hard on that thing. my only gripe is that i couldn't get it closer around my eyes, but it worked great. lot's of epoxy and sanding. LOT's of work.


So thank you everybody. This is so exciting.

I don't know if we'll be able to enter Horrorfest, but we'll see what we can do.


As far as this being our first film —*i guess this is why we waited so long. We've always wanted to make movies, but things were just never in place. As we did some freelance design work it started to include photography, and we decided to buy some ARRI tungsten's instead of standard flashes, because we knew we wanted to do movies. In the beginning of February we finally ordered our DVX100b, and then we saw the HeroFest posting, and we went to work.
I think one thing that's helped us is our graphic design background. It has really helped us with composition and also typography.
The other thing is that we of course LOVE movies. We study movies: how was that lit, where were the lights coming from, why did that shot look so good, etc.. Every movie is a continuing education.

[Robert Pottorff]

fantastic job guys :) a few questions

in the mantle scene as your panning through the family portrits and whatnot, is that post-added-vignetting? or from the adapter?

also - were the "mug" shots at the beginning shot without your adapter?

great framing - i always have had issues with people who mask their shots down to 16x9 or some smaller ratio - becuase it "feels" cropped - even though the frame is still set properly...i did not however, notice this in yours (minus the eyes missing in the shot with the chair - i just assumed this was artistic liberty :) )

i really enjoyed this, and secretly i hope florida somehow gets moved next to texas : D

robert

[Simes]

Excellent stuff! I'm currently saving for a DVX100 and this demonstration of excellence is making me impatient.

There is one minor thing I noticed;
When Anonymous is in the chair taking the stuff out of the drawer his right side is well lit by the lamp and his left in the shadow.
When you cut to the arm close-up I think it is a little too well lit. Also in terms of practicality most people would have moved their arm to under the light to see better - unless he has super-vision too!

I really hope to see more stuff from you guys as I loved the look of this short.

Cheers
Simes

[Anthem78]

fantastic job guys :) a few questions

in the mantle scene as your panning through the family portrits and whatnot, is that post-added-vignetting? or from the adapter?

also - were the "mug" shots at the beginning shot without your adapter?

great framing - i always have had issues with people who mask their shots down to 16x9 or some smaller ratio - becuase it "feels" cropped - even though the frame is still set properly...i did not however, notice this in yours (minus the eyes missing in the shot with the chair - i just assumed this was artistic liberty :) )

i really enjoyed this, and secretly i hope florida somehow gets moved next to texas : D

robert

Thanks for the kind words Robert. To answer your questions:

The vignetting on the mantle is from the adapter.
Thanks for the comments on the framing. We tried hard to get that right. And regarding the eyes being cropped out in the chair - I am going to recrop that when I re-edit.
And I'd love to be closer to Texas too. Maybe the next hurricane will blow us over there. :)

I'm glad you enjoyed our film.

[Anthem78]

also - were the "mug" shots at the beginning shot without your adapter?

Sorry I forgot to answer this - yes this was shot with our adapter. Everything in the film was.

Excellent stuff! I'm currently saving for a DVX100 and this demonstration of excellence is making me impatient.

There is one minor thing I noticed;
When Anonymous is in the chair taking the stuff out of the drawer his right side is well lit by the lamp and his left in the shadow.
When you cut to the arm close-up I think it is a little too well lit. Also in terms of practicality most people would have moved their arm to under the light to see better - unless he has super-vision too!

I really hope to see more stuff from you guys as I loved the look of this short.

Cheers
Simes

And Simes, thanks for your comments. Keep saving, and once you get it learn everything you can. Watch movies and deconstruct them, try to learn everything you can about lighting, framing, etc.

Regarding the lighting in the chair - this is something we discussed, but you will notice that even though in the arm close-up it is lit more, it is still brighter towards the source of the lamp. But I agree the lighting could have been improved upon.

Good eye.

[Cryogenic Filmworks]

Very nice work. I loved the look of it, the music. As said the criminals did not look that rough. Only other prob I had was during the showing of the criminals the sounds you had seemed like they were recorded too loud or something. They were fuzzy like you peaked out. Other than that it was very good, and the extraction scene was very realistic.

[Anthem78]

Very nice work. I loved the look of it, the music. As said the criminals did not look that rough. Only other prob I had was during the showing of the criminals the sounds you had seemed like they were recorded too loud or something. They were fuzzy like you peaked out. Other than that it was very good, and the extraction scene was very realistic.

Thanks.

Regarding the comments about the criminals, if you look at the FBI's website of the ten most wanted criminals (http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/topten/fugitives/fugitives.htm) only a few are rough looking. The others are more "normal", such as Diego Sanchez, James J Bulger, Warren Steed Jeffs, Robert William Fisher, etc. These aren't your run of the mill sherrif's office arrests. These are smarter criminals.

And for the audio over the criminals, we wanted the rough, distorted sound. Maybe we took it too far, though.

I'm glad you liked the look of the film, as we tried hard to get the feel right.

[prezorg]

I enjoyed this film. The Makeup and Special effects are really well done. Your film has some really nice photography and style. Some good editing, some beautiful shots. Overall I would say you tell a very nice story. My only critique is that it might be even better if you did a little more showing of the story versus telling. Specifically in regards to the Acting and Voice over. I think voice over can tend to be cliche and overdone. I also think in this case it doesn't make sense. It might help if we knew who the Voice over was talking to. A cop in the future after his revenge? A girl-friends voice mail? A diary? His family tombstones? Or maybe it's just that by using voice over you set your film up to be compared to some of the most memorable movies with voice over. (usual suspects, fight club, etc.) At any rate, I still enjoy this short quite a bit. The five minutes seem to fly by. Good use of music/editing/photography/makeup/fx. Well done, can't wait to see what you do next.

~Ian

[Anthem78]

Thanks Ian. I'm glad the 5 minutes went by quickly for you. That was one of our main goals with this film, becuase I remember watching some of the films inother festivals and feeling like they were either dragging or trying to cram way too much into the time slot. So we really worked on the pacing.

We will be working on the voice over when this contest is over - just to tighten things up a bit.

Again, thank you very much for your positive comments as well as your constuctive feedback.

[CineMark]

Hi everybody, I'm in Vegas!!!

I've been here since Sunday for the HOW design conference.
Hopefully I'll be up to see the voting tonight, since I'm now on west coast time.

Just checking in.

Thanks for all the support.

[penfever]

Anthem -

Well, this almost goes without saying but ... beautiful film. Style meeting form, really a pleasure to watch.
I think the high point of this film is in the opening moment - this is, by far, the best superhero introduction in this festival. Without words, in a moment, we know not only what his power is but also how personality and power intertwine...a tortured power for a tortured hero. The SFX timing is great - are you a musician?
Things to watch out for are performance and the pacing of the 2nd half. The revelations in voice-over are neither as interesting nor as fun as the revelations on screen. So we end up hearing a boring film and watching an interesting one. A film entirely done in voice-over is nearly impossible to perfect, and it's better to use dialogue if you can. The vocal acting of the cop on TV is kinda ridiculous, and drags down that brief portion of the movie. He doesn't fit the mood of the rest of the piece.
Great film to watch, see you next fest.
-Ben