First Project Ever...I Need Criticism

[Puzzled Films]

So, I have been on this forum for a few months now gathering knowledge and tips. 2 weeks ago I decided to shoot my first project ever. This was crazy cause I jumped right into the thickness of everything by actully taking part in a competition.

BPM: 48 Hour Music Video Competition - I went on a Friday and got a randomly picked song, I then only had 48 hours to come up with an Idea, Shoot and Edit a Music Video. It was screened to everyones liking and I actually got into the finals that will play tonight, I am in the top 5 out of 30 Music Videos. I wanted to post it here for everyone to Criticize due to most people here being professionals and really now what they are talking about. Again this was the first thing I ever shot and the First thing I ever Edited. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLmB1rtIFq0

and/or

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=733103922&n=2

[Amerikan123]

Im only going to ask you this one time, do you fucking smoke crack or shoot up heroin or something? You cant even be that wierd with lsd or weed, thats beyond the realm of eerie as fuck...

[FilmMakerr]

LMAO^^ thats alittle harsh buddy, he asked for critism so give it to him.

Uhm, lets see, it wasn't shot badly, but its not really my thing, plus it did make me laugh at some points, so I guess thats a good thing right? Good editing for a first timer, keep at it, you'll do great.

[stroxell82]

About time someone did some weird stuff on the dvx. For your next project trying messing around with lighting. Good job.

[Northainan]

It was real funny until the Kid came into the scene. I don't know I just don't have a sense a humor when it comes to pedophiles or people killing kids; maybe I will get it later. Other than that, the composition was pretty decent but just like someone else said,the lighting needs improvement.

FYI: I saw the artist who did the song MILKSHAKE, on VH1 and she said Her MILKSHAKE means her "confidence is better than her female associates" And I actually thought it meant something else.

[Puzzled Films]

Thanks for everyones input thus far. Again, this was my first project ever and the point of the competition was to be innovative and original. I went to the awards ceremony last night due to being in the finals.

I got 2 Audience Award's for Runner-Up Funniest Video & Best Use Of Song

I got a Jury Award for Runner-Up Best Use Of Song.

I Don't think that is too bad considering this is the first thing I have ever shot and there were 30 videos in all going against each other.

If you carefully listen to the lyrics you can see how far we were able to go with this song. I know that the meaning from the artist is on the opposite spectrum . But again, it was suppose to be original and innovative.

Thank's for the Input on Lighting, I know that I need lighting next time and that this project would have been 1,000 times better with good lighting. I am amazed that it turned out this well with raw natural light.

[Puzzled Films]

Does anyone else have any pointers or thoughts on what else I could do to help my work in the future?

[CallaghanFilms]

I got 2 Audience Award's for Runner-Up Funniest Video...Funniest?! Funniest?! http://www.geocities.com/the_callaghans/emoticon-04.gif
You gotta be poo pooin' kidding me!!
A child molester and/or killer is the funniest thing these sick mother poo pooers saw?!
That's some film community that you got going out there!
You should all be so proud.
Goddamn...I'd hate to see what films were passed over for this piece of shït.

[Weston]

that was scary

[Puzzled Films]

Funniest?! Funniest?! http://www.geocities.com/the_callaghans/emoticon-04.gif
You gotta be poo pooin' kidding me!!
A child molester and/or killer is the funniest thing these sick mother poo pooers saw?!
That's some film community that you got going out there!
You should all be so proud.
Goddamn...I'd hate to see what films were passed over for this piece of shït.

We actually do have a large Film Community in Austin, Texas. One of the Best in the World actually. And the Festival was a part of Alamo Drafthouse Cinema -> Voted the Best Theater in the US by Entertainment Weekly magazine. I am sorry if you disliked it but you don't have to be such an Ass and call it a piece of crap. I just wanted constructive criticism on Lighting, Composition, Angles, Editing ETC ETC. The whole idea of the film was to be Innovative and Original and I think it is pretty original for the type of song it is, if you listen to the lyrics carefully you can see the undertones of the story. It is ART and you being on this forum should realize this and just because I shot this does not mean that I am this type of person. So again I am not sorry and if you don't have anything constructive to say just leave your mouth shut. I am sorry to everyone else that is reading this but I take idiotic posts personally

[CallaghanFilms]

and as a father...

I take calling a clown luring a child to him/molesting & killing him/rubbing the same boy's milk container missing picture on his dick "funny" or "art" personally

http://www.geocities.com/the_callaghans/emoticon-09.gif

[Puzzled Films]

I am a father too. Again it is NOT REAL, IT IS ART!!! People find different things offending and I am sorry if you were Offended but I am not a Sick and Twisted individual. It is a story, a Fake story. An Artistic interpretation! I feel like I am talking to the MPAA or the FCC. Are you saying that I should have not been original and I should have had some cute girls dancing and be a TOOL! I am no TOOL and I work with originality. Personally I can be offended with Cute Girls dancing because that is taking advantage of the Female Form. If you are offended by ART than maybe you are in the wrong Profession and should look into something a little more Suiting.

The whole point of the project was suppose to be light hearted cheesiness at the beginning and then depressing scariness at the end. Did I not accomplish this?

[Lawsuit_Boy]

hahaha, man that was great. When I first heard the song I thought "oh god." But it turned out even better than I could've imagined.

There really wasn't much about it I'd change. You did really well since it was your first project. The clown guy was awesome, and some of your shots were really good. Lighting was done well. I guess next time you can experiment more with lighting. I don't really have anything negative to say.

The outtake at the end was hilarious. :thumbsup:

Jon Coy

[Weston]

and as a father...

I take calling a clown luring a child to him/molesting & killing him/rubbing the same boy's milk container missing picture on his dick "funny" or "art" personally

http://www.geocities.com/the_callaghans/emoticon-09.gif

i'm not a father and i agree.

[Puzzled Films]

hahaha, man that was great. When I first heard the song I thought "oh god." But it turned out even better than I could've imagined.

There really wasn't much about it I'd change. You did really well since it was your first project. The clown guy was awesome, and some of your shots were really good. Lighting was done well. I guess next time you can experiment more with lighting. I don't really have anything negative to say.

The outtake at the end was hilarious. :thumbsup:

Jon Coy

Thanks man, I appreciate it. I feel the largest consensus is the lighting. I am going to try to get a cheap lighting rig from Home Depot or Lowes and start experimenting. Thanks again.

[KennyJay]

Puzz good job telling the story. Timing was good. I laughed. However violence and sex can be the easy way out for the filmmaker. Some subjects are off limits. As artist our minds are bomborded with crazy stuff. I wouldn't want my kids or parents to think that the issues at hand are art. Some things in life are sacred. Best to you!

[Puzzled Films]

Puzz you are sick! lol You do know how to tell a story. Can you do something clean and come back? Best to you!

Sure Thing :)

[Puzzled Films]

Callaghan,

I will end our conversation with this. This is Hypocrisy at it's best. You wrote the following post in the following thread ->

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=538106&postcount=34



This clip has become quite popular online, but...


Quote:
Originally Posted by CMessineo
...The video consists of this: One woman punching another woman in the face in front of a child...

I believe it is more than that; it is a mother punching her daughter's teacher in front of her at a PTA meeting. Come on...that's funny as hell. http://www.geocities.com/the_callaghans/emoticon-02.gif

Chris, what about this? I've posted this one before...but can you honestly tell me this doesn't tickle your funny bone in a big way? http://gorillamask.net/grapestomp.shtml (Cause it's up there with the funniest shïte I've ever seen)


Frankly, I think yuz all are reading way to much into it.
Lighten up already.
__________________
Cheers:beer:& Long Asheshttp://www.geocities.com/the_callaghans/cigars.gif
-Callaghan
Last edited by CallaghanFilms : 05-03-2006 at 02:28 PM
.

[J.R. Hudson]

Art ? That's funny.

-

The subject matter:

I found nothing artistic or expressional about this piece. I'm no prude (I'm sure the boys on the site can testify to that) but this was just tasteless (and not in a good, controversial way). Funny today. Anyone can go out and film a controversial subject (Child porn, child abduction, snuff, pedophilia) and defend it by calling it art.

As a part of somethign larger; perhaps a narrative filmwork I can accept something like this, but as a stand alone to some dumbass song it comes across as crap.

The technical:



I just wanted constructive criticism on Lighting, Composition, Angles, Editing


You have your work cut out for you.

You won something ? This was your basic amatuerish attempt at making a video. Is this even a DVX100 ? There is nothing about this that comes across as well done. Competition isnt too stiff in this fest is it ?

I'm also wondering why some here are like 'Dude! That's great!'. It's juvenile is what it is. But I suppose that's the problem when we let all of the kiddies on the site.



FYI: I saw the artist who did the song MILKSHAKE, on VH1 and she said Her MILKSHAKE means her "confidence is better than her female associates" And I actually thought it meant something else.


Hello, McFly ! You believed that ? Yeeaah. Confidence. That's what it's about.

Edit:

And now you're attempting to bait Callaghan and compare a chick getting smacked to pedophilia ? Quit while you're ahead.

[Puzzled Films]

Art ? That's funny.

-

The subject matter:

I found nothing artistic or expressional about this piece. I'm no prude (I'm sure the boys on the site can testify to that) but this was just tasteless (and not in a good, controversial way). Funny today. Anyone can go out and film a controversial subject (Child porn, child abduction, snuff, pedophilia) and defend it by calling it art.

As a part of somethign larger; perhaps a narrative filmwork I can accept something like this, but as a stand alone to some dumbass song it comes across as crap.

The technical:


You have your work cut out for you.

You won something ? This was your basic amatuerish attempt at making a video. Is this even a DVX100 ? There is nothing about this that comes across as well done. Competition isnt too stiff in this fest is it ?

I'm also wondering why some here are like 'Dude! That's great!'. It's juvenile is what it is. But I suppose that's the problem when we let all of the kiddies on the site.



Hello, McFly ! You believed that ? Yeeaah. Confidence. That's what it's about.

Edit:

And now you're attempting to bait Callaghan and compare a chick getting smacked to pedophilia ? Quit while you're ahead.

I take everyones opinion greatly. Again, This was the first attempt to shoot anything. I purchased my DVX from a member of this site last month and this was the first time I even recorded anything. I have had no schooling and I have just gathered advice and resources from individuals I hold in high regard from this site and others.

I posted the film here so I can get an Honest opinion on how I did as a First-Timer. I was given a song and I went with it. I am not trying to defend Child Violence, Murder or Pedophilia yet I dictated the lyrics as something that could fall under this category and I was trying to come with an idea that no "Average Person" would take into account. I feel that Calaghan took the whole film as a personal representation of the type of person I am and did not take into account that it was just a story. I used the previous post of Calaghans just as a representation that others have found something he posted as Offensive and yet this falls under the same category as being Offensive while as in his previous post he mentioned something to the effect of "Relaxing, It's just a movie".

I have gotten good advice from you John and I take your criticism to full effect but I do feel that just because of my defending something you tore me a new one just for the fun of it. I will again say that this was the first thing I have ever done and others that post there first work that has no story or basis for anything gets great constructive criticism to work with and yet I get no such thing.

I do thank those that gave good criticism and took it for what it actually is, and JohnI don't think that you should get onto these individuals cause' they are just giving there honest opinion on what I should work on.

On a side note, You saying "Letting the Kiddies on teh site." I feel that this site is a tremendous outlet for people just getting started and it shoudl be an open resource for all to use. Just because I post something and I don't have 15,000 Posts does this mean that I am crap and I should go somewhere else? I mean this should be a honest resource and people shouldn't talk crap about eachother but should rather give friendly "Professional" advice on how to help fellow filmmakers.

I hold this sight in HIGH REGARD and through this thread it has made me a little upset that someone can't come and get honest answers to honest questions and keep everything on a even playing field rather than patting some people on the back and tearing into others. I am sorry that some find my work offensive but I think I did a pretty good job for someone that has never pressed the record butten before this.

[troypod]

i agree.. it was kinda odd... but whether it's art or not cant be decided by us. Art is the process of creation, what we see is the byproduct. It's terribly closed minded to say something blatently isn't art.
puzzle... you def. have a unique form of creativity, and I look forward to seeing more stuff.

[CallaghanFilms]

...I'm also wondering why some here are like 'Dude! That's great!'. It's juvenile is what it is. But I suppose that's the problem when we let all of the kiddies on the site...Was thinkin' the same thing. Someone could film the contents of an unflushed toilet, and some clowns would praise it and say, "it's true perfection...don't change a thing!"



...And now you're attempting to bait Callaghan and compare a chick getting smacked to pedophilia ? Quit while you're ahead.Just look at the source...besides, this tuna ain't biting!

[tomyboy342000]

I think for a first project, this is not bad. I think that the way you incorporate the song with a suspense thriller story is very clever, but story is very important and it was confusing in some parts, but for the most part, you're on your way. Great job. Eeeeerie clown.

[Vampiresoup]

It simply wasn't funny. I don't care if something is 'offensive' or not. Anything goes in my book as long as it's funny. But this, this was just boring. On a purely technical level, if that is what you're looking for, the timing of the cuts was off. There was no rhythm or 'beats' to the jokes. And if it wasn't meant to be a comedy it doesn't work as a thriller either. If you're going to deal with a subject as absurd as that, you need to involve your audience rather than alienate them and to call it 'art' is a flaccid excuse.

Nevertheless, I must admit I did laugh once. It was right around the time I was thinking 'how could this get worse?' only to see a little child walk into frame. Of course. That's how.

But let me say that you should keep making films. You wanted honest opinions, you got them. Once you get past the bruised ego then you can take some of the constructive things said here and make a better film.

Good luck.

[Thomas J. O'Hara]

I think I'll stay away from the subject matter and criticize just the technical aspects.

The footage is pretty dark (like everyone already said).

Another thing you might want to fix is the framing when you're outside.
Some of the shots are underneath trees and shade, while it's really bright and sunny. It just makes it look video-ish (i guess we're all trying to avoid that, right?)

[vidled]

On another note:
this whole BPM film festival seems EXTREMELY dubious to say the least. And it would be interesting to find out whether they even bothered to get appropriate licenses for this song to be used like this. Their website is not very forthcoming with any information as to who they are.

[Puzzled Films]

It simply wasn't funny. I don't care if something is 'offensive' or not. Anything goes in my book as long as it's funny. But this, this was just boring. On a purely technical level, if that is what you're looking for, the timing of the cuts was off. There was no rhythm or 'beats' to the jokes. And if it wasn't meant to be a comedy it doesn't work as a thriller either. If you're going to deal with a subject as absurd as that, you need to involve your audience rather than alienate them and to call it 'art' is a flaccid excuse.

Nevertheless, I must admit I did laugh once. It was right around the time I was thinking 'how could this get worse?' only to see a little child walk into frame. Of course. That's how.

But let me say that you should keep making films. You wanted honest opinions, you got them. Once you get past the bruised ego then you can take some of the constructive things said here and make a better film.

Good luck.

Understandable, Did you think that there were too many cuts or just to choppy?

Or was it that the timing and sequencing was off? If so - Too fast or too slow?

Thanks.

[J.R. Hudson]

You asked for honesty. I gave it. I find this type of art wasteful. I'm ready to move on.

(This is the deal when asking for the public opinion; you gotta take every one in stride)

Maybe next time, you'll make a love story. Who know's ?

[Puzzled Films]

I think I'll stay away from the subject matter and criticize just the technical aspects.

The footage is pretty dark (like everyone already said).

Another thing you might want to fix is the framing when you're outside.
Some of the shots are underneath trees and shade, while it's really bright and sunny. It just makes it look video-ish (i guess we're all trying to avoid that, right?)

any ideas on how to avoid this? Should I just use lights to get rid of the shade or should I diffuse the light and open up the exposure?

[J.R. Hudson]

Make sure you calibrate your monitor and use your Videoscopes to check IRE levels in post.

[Blaine]

Art ? That's funny.

-

The subject matter:

I found nothing artistic or expressional about this piece. I'm no prude (I'm sure the boys on the site can testify to that) but this was just tasteless (and not in a good, controversial way). Funny today. Anyone can go out and film a controversial subject (Child porn, child abduction, snuff, pedophilia) and defend it by calling it art.

As a part of somethign larger; perhaps a narrative filmwork I can accept something like this, but as a stand alone to some dumbass song it comes across as crap.
I agree. :zombie_smiley:

[Vampiresoup]

Cuts should help tell the story and, if done correctly, shouldn't really be noticable. I feel like if you notice the editing then you haven't really done your job. It's not a matter of too fast or too slow. You have to get a feel for a piece. Every piece is different. Take a look at my short on this site Jedi Breakfast. It's really simple editing but I feel it tells a story.

Another suggestion to make yourself a better filmmaker would be to surf this site and read as much as you can. The people here know A LOT. Pretty much everything I know now I learned off this site and from going to the library. I didn't take a course. Read books. Read as many books about filming as you can. Then watch films and notice the things the books talked about. Then shoot your stuff and try and apply what you learned.

Now, all that deals with the technical aspects of shooting and editing. From my experience, and correct me if I'm wrong, this site doesn't have all that much to say on how to tell a story. As far as telling a story is concerned I'd suggest for you to read scripts. A LOT of scripts. You can download them. And read books, of course. STORY by Robert Mckee is actually pretty good. He gives you basic structure of script writing.

[Puzzled Films]

You asked for honesty. I gave it. I find this type of art wasteful. I'm ready to move on.

(This is the deal when asking for the public opinion; you gotta take every one in stride)

Maybe next time, you'll make a love story. Who know's ?

I understand this now, but I just got defensive and felt people were putting me out just for the fact that I got into an argument with Calghan. I don't care if people didn't like it. There is not one film in this world that everyone likes and I am okay with it. I just want constructive responses and not responses that serve no meaning. Thanks again for your input and I will put your advice to use.

I will definetely look into observing the scopes more in Post

[Thomas J. O'Hara]

any ideas on how to avoid this? Should I just use lights to get rid of the shade or should I diffuse the light and open up the exposure?

I don't really know how to word this, but I think you can frame your shot so it won't have the conflicting shadows/blown out brights. you just have to pick one, either go completely under the shade, or completely out of the shade.

[Puzzled Films]

I don't really know how to word this, but I think you can frame your shot so it won't have the conflicting shadows/blown out brights. you just have to pick one, either go completely under the shade, or completely out of the shade.

Answers that perfectly. Thank's. If I were unable to frame the shot one way or another. I.E -> If I am in a forest that has scattered trees with light rays shining through. What would be a good way to compensate for the Over and Under Exposure?

[ZFarms Productions]

i can't believe i just watched that... it was pretty sick. i want 4 minutes of my life back. what kind of person has the audacity to call that art and brag about it winning a funny video award? it wasn't one bit funny... it was totally sick...

[Puzzled Films]

Just to make a statement to everyone that has posted about it. I did not mean ART as in, "This Rocks and I am a Artist". I meant it as any piece of Original Multimedia, Drawing, Video, Film, Picture, Photograph, Website, Book or any other means of original work is in my opinion a piece of Art"

Any film on here is Art in my opinion. I don't know if people on this thread thought that I meant it as me being cool and artistic cause that is not what I meant. It was nothing more than stating the definition of art which is:

"Human effort to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract the work of nature."

[Puzzled Films]

i can't believe i just watched that... it was pretty sick. i want 4 minutes of my life back. what kind of person has the audacity to call that art and brag about it winning a funny video award? it wasn't one bit funny... it was totally sick...

I wasn't bragging. I was simply stating the facts as well as stating how many videos were involved and that I did however think that I did a pretty good job for a first timer. I accept anyones opinion on the film and appreciate every bit of it (The Bad & The Good). So Thank You for your opinion :)

I do wish that you refrain from stating that I am a bad person or that this reflects directly on me as a person. This is a website dedicated to helping fellow filmmakers with resources and advice. It is not a website dedicated to posts that have nothing more to do than talk crap about eachother. How is this beneficial to anyone?

[Jeremy Ordan]

I still have yet to watch this, but I'm bothered by the ART statement that continues to come up.

When I was in college one of my floormates who was a theatre major who got a grant to do performance art. He took a nap for thirty minutes on stage, then got up and took a dump in the middle of the stage. That was it.

What do you take from this story? Anything can be art, but even art is $hit sometimes.

-Jeremy

[Puzzled Films]

I still have yet to watch this, but I'm bothered by the ART statement that continues to come up.

When I was in college one of my floormates who was a theatre major who got a grant to do performance art. He took a nap for thirty minutes on stage, then got up and took a dump in the middle of the stage. That was it.

What do you take from this story? Anything can be art, but even art is $hit sometimes.

-Jeremy

I completely agree. Art can be shit, but it is still Art.

[CineMischief]

This is one to tread lightly on for sure. I think maybe some of the negative responses stem from the fact that it won for comedy. I wonder if the feedback would have been different had it won for horror or some other genre. You're dealing with pretty loaded images, which are not funny in the least to "most" people. I think maybe people's reaction to the piece would be different viewed from some other frame of reference. I dunno.

That being said, I'm gonna have to agree with you Puzzle. You're kinda getting the shaft here. Yeah, each person has the right to his/her own opinion and can state it. For me, it's not my cup of tea, but you do do well in creating an atmosphere of creepiness. A lot of these comments have just been unhelpful. Se7en was disturbing, the subject matter in Hostel was as well. I'm not drawn to these stories, but other people are.

I think tellin someone his video sucked and was a waste of time without offering any other comments kinda sucks. If you were going for funny, then in my opinion...it wasn't. If you were goin for disturbing, then I think you did a lot of things well (bathtub milk bottling, clown singing in mirror...)

[Jeremy Ordan]

I completely agree. Art can be shi*, but it is still Art.

$hit can be art, but it is still $hit...

The difference between defining something as art or as $hit is maturity in delivery, motivation, and the message you are attempting to convey. This is something that only an artist can make the difference between. A $hitter will always call it art, but take a big **whiff**, smell that? It's not art...

General rule of life:

If it looks like $hit, tastes like $hit, and smells like $hit, guess what? It aint art.

-Jeremy

[Puzzled Films]

This is one to tread lightly on for sure. I think maybe some of the negative responses stem from the fact that it won for comedy. I wonder if the feedback would have been different had it won for horror or some other genre. You're dealing with pretty loaded images, which are not funny in the least to "most" people. I think maybe people's reaction to the piece would be different viewed from some other frame of reference. I dunno.

That being said, I'm gonna have to agree with you Puzzle. You're kinda getting the shaft here. Yeah, each person has the right to his/her own opinion and can state it. For me, it's not my cup of tea, but you do do well in creating an atmosphere of creepiness. A lot of these comments have just been unhelpful. Se7en was disturbing, the subject matter in Hostel was as well. I'm not drawn to these stories, but other people are.

I think tellin someone his video sucked and was a waste of time without offering any other comments kinda sucks. If you were going for funny, then in my opinion...it wasn't. If you were goin for disturbing, then I think you did a lot of things well (bathtub milk bottling, clown singing in mirror...)

Thanks for your reply, You hit it on the nail.

[Puzzled Films]

$hit can be art, but it is still $hit...

The difference between defining something as art or as $hit is maturity in delivery, motivation, and the message you are attempting to convey. This is something that only an artist can make the difference between. A $hitter will always call it art, but take a big **whiff**, smell that? It's not art...

General rule of life:

If it looks like $hit, tastes like $hit, and smells like $hit, guess what? It aint art.

-Jeremy

I am not trying to drag this forever but, I hate everything that Pollock painted so is that immediatly Shi*? No, It is still Art - Just not the type of Art that I like. That is all I am trying to portray to everyone here.

If you hate the film so be it. If you like the film so be it.

I just want a little direction and guidence on what I did decent and what I could work on to help me make better films in the future.

[J.R. Hudson]

I agree. Well put Yankee.

-

Sorry Puzzled. Not sure your motivation in submitting this here (or there) or what convinced you it would be funny/different/art/an expression but it reaks of someone taking a dump on the stage.

I assume you knew it would get more than mixed reviews and you can chalk it up too 'Did I shock you ? Well did I?' but I can film kittens being beat and ask the same thing.

You have a ways to go in maturity on both sides of this filmmaking coin; technically and as an artist. Your name 'Puzzled Filmmaker' seems to sum it up.

-

You find this stuff funny ? innovative ? Original ? Let the audience make these determinations.

-

[D_and_G]

Hmmm, wasn't going to post on this one, but what the heck.

The content ? Enough's been said about it.

The tech ? Obviously better lighting - 'cause it is a journey. And I felt you went a little overboard with the canted angles. Some of your transitions show a fondness for dissolves. Overall you matched the pace of the song with your edits. Watch the wide shots, composition wise, as I thought they were weaker than your CU's. And you also have to tweak the reveal to get full effect, although I did get the transition from light hearted to creepy killer vibe.

One of the things that I thought minimized that effect was the clown makeup. IMO, it worked at cross purposes to what you were trying to achieve.

Have you ever considered watching Fellini and how he incorporates whimsical elements into a greater whole. Obviously, this is a completely different animal, but there are some techniques that may be useful for you to look at.

Finally, I can't say it's the cats meow, but for a first effort its at least a dogs bark. I've sat watching far too many film school first efforts to tell you that yours is crap. You did make some rookie mistakes, like too many canted angles, unnecessary dissolves, and embracing concepts over composition, but that's something to grow out of.
Believe me, at least with everything besides the content, for a first effort, it ain't as craptastic as a lot of other stuff I've seen. Maybe that says something about my alma mater ?

Anyway, grab that camera and film something that doesn't rely on "shock" to reach the shore.

:beer:

PS - Don't take it personal. People get kinda' miffed when it comes to a pederast.

[Dustin Wadsworth]

Art is subjective. I can call chewed up bubblegum art but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If 9 out of 10 people think my bubblegum art sucks then it probably violates a principle of some sort.
In the movie Adaptation the main charachter Charlie is explaining to his twin brother that stories work on principles, not rules. A principle is something that is proven to work and I don't think this video works but I don't think that disqualifies it from being called art. I also think that the people that are attacking your video are getting a bit emotional about it. So in a sense, you've accomplished what a lot of the shock rockers like Marylin Manson or Alice Cooper did in their day.
I didn't like the story at all because it wasn't though provoking or clever, it just sort of missed the mark as far as dark comedy goes. My advice for your future work would be to avoid going for a shocking theme just to have a shocking theme and work towards a good story.
As far as your production goes, I agree with the lighting thing, and I think that for a first time effort it was good. You have a lot of room for improvement but keep posting your stuff so we can do our best to help you.

[Puzzled Films]

Hmmm, wasn't going to post on this one, but what the heck.

The content ? Enough's been said about it.

The tech ? Obviously better lighting - 'cause it is a journey. And I felt you went a little overboard with the canted angles. Some of your transitions show a fondness for dissolves. Overall you matched the pace of the song with your edits. Watch the wide shots, composition wise, as I thought they were weaker than your CU's. And you also have to tweak the reveal to get full effect, although I did get the transition from light hearted to creepy killer vibe.

One of the things that I thought minimized that effect was the clown makeup. IMO, it worked at cross purposes to what you were trying to achieve.

Have you ever considered watching Fellini and how he incorporates whimsical elements into a greater whole. Obviously, this is a completely different animal, but there are some techniques that may be useful for you to look at.

Finally, I can't say it's the cats meow, but for a first effort its at least a dogs bark. I've sat watching far too many film school first efforts to tell you that yours is crap. You did make some rookie mistakes, like too many canted angles, unnecessary dissolves, and embracing concepts over composition, but that's something to grow out of.
Believe me, at least with everything besides the content, for a first effort, it ain't as craptastic as a lot of other stuff I've seen. Maybe that says something about my alma mater ?

Anyway, grab that camera and film something that doesn't rely on "shock" to reach the shore.

:beer:

PS - Don't take it personal. People get kinda' miffed when it comes to a pederast.

Thank you VERY MUCH for your input. You have given me exactly what I was hoping for. I was initially thinking that I had a few to many dissolves but due to the deadline I couldn't go back and change to some better transitions - Next project I will get right the first time so I don't have to worry about time constraints. I am glad that you felt the transition between the feeling of the story. I thought my CU's were pretty bad due to camera shake but I am glad you liked them better than the wides, I was trying to go for an erie feeling and I hoped that I accomplished this.

I will take your advice to heart and I will post something a little more Dramatic without the shock factor and hopefully more people will be willing to give some feedback on the technical rather than the story. Thanks again :)

[einsteinsarcade]

hey there. i just wanted to give a little context to those people who think this video was made just to shock. it was written for a specific audience, namely those of the original alamo drafthouse cinema. for those of you unfamiliar with the alamo, or austin in general, i invite you down. let me buy you a beer. the alamo is famous for unique events and programming.

this was a competition based largely on audience votes, and the writers are familiar with the type of audience voting (google bloodshots). the team was given a song at random, and given 48 hours to write, shoot, and chop. as was mentioned, the team won three awards. with the exception of a handful of videos, most of the other videos were rife with simulated sex, drug use, and violence, and pretty much looked alike.

the team wanted to do something other than the generic with the song, and the subjects covered were intended to garner a reaction from the screening audience, in order to be memorable, because just about everybody is sick of that song.

apart from one instance of explicit violence, it seems to me that what most people are complaining about with the subject matter is due to their own inferences. nowhere is a child harmed in any way. and even the last scene is simply the clown shaking the milk--"milkshake."

personally, i think it was pretty clever. it was meant to be a rollercoaster, not just to shock (you should have seen some of the other videos screened). the team told a story using the song in a different way, and considering the constraints the team had to deal with, i think it was a good effort.

and the audience DID enjoy it.

P.S. it didn't look so dim on the big screen...

[art metal art]

1. You should have called the short "Utter Pus".
2. Clowns don't sing.
3. Did you see those teats on Betsy!!!
4. You should have had the boy get revenge on the clown. We need a hero.
5. She wasn't really dead if she was singing in the utter pus bath. Was she?
6. The boy should have been an Al Qaida suicide bomber and we would feel emotionally removed from the commie bastard.
7. This would make a great Advertisement for Soy Milk or all natural milk. The hormones and antibiotics are making sick clowns.
8. Where's the balloons man? We all need balloons with clowns and because of this missing I give you an F grade.