Charlie Bags An Alien - ProfD

[ProfD]

Hope you guys liked our little comedy.

[ProfD]

Comments are certainly welcome.

[Slimothy]

Sorry if this souds harsh, but I really couldn't get through this one. I tried, but I'll have to go back to it. I was a bit tired earlier, and I'll make another pass later on tonite. Some initial notes: the sound design was very, very off. It reaked of ADR. The audio kept jumping back and forth. the lighting was very shallow as only the charcters were lit. It looked like they were in a vacum the whole time. Next time try adding some depth to the scene. On a better note, there were some funny parts namely the ones involving the pothead and his Local herbs.

[Norm Sanders]

On the positive side, you & your crew set out to do a project & saw it all the way through. That's always something to be proud of, not to mention what I'm sure you've learned along the way.

Negatives that I saw with this was sound, as mentioned above ... I didn't notice the ADR so much as I did the audio levels (hiss, etc.) going back & forth with the cuts ... really needed to be EQ'd and smoothed out.

The dialogue/script felt week, and I had to watch it part way through a second time to really get what was happening. Even after seeing the beginning, I'm still lost as to why the Cajun Alien Police would blow Charlie away for killing an alien ... especially since it appears that the aliens killed all his posse that he was star gazin' with.

Lastly, FX. Adding a slight glow for 1-2 frames per gun shot, with a quick flash added to the end of the barrel would sell those shots more. As it is, she's pulling the trigger & we hear the shots, but nothing else is happening.

[Slimothy]

[QUOTE=Envision]On the positive side, you & your crew set out to do a project & saw it all the way through. That's always something to be proud of, not to mention what I'm sure you've learned along the way.
QUOTE]


My review goes w/o saying that I totally agree with this. Your movie is alot better than my non-submission.

[penfever]

I thought parts of this film were straight-up hilarious. Whoever that girl was behind the counter, keep her, she should be in another film with a larger role.
You should definitely check a copy of "story" out of your local library, as this film had very little structure. A ilttle bit of framing goes a long way. We can't possibly know what happens in this film, so we don't care whether we see the end. Grab a viewer by the balls, it'll help you in the long run even if your technical end suffers.
Great effort, and keep on filming!!

[ProfD]

Thanks for the comments. We wanted to do something very original, funny, and with some action. (Sci-Fi action comedy)

There are lots of small supporting details in the film. Ex: The Agent leaves the scene when the Aliens attack...you notice she grabs her cell and walks away.

We spent the most time with the sound. Showcasing an authentic La. Blues musician, working hard to get the pans correct with the onscene action. You will notice the shots, car engines, 4-wheeler engine, etc.. move across the pan with the action.

Lighting the actors and not the background was essential given they were at a dark sky star gazing event early on.

The sound track was done by a La. blues recording artist specifically for this film short. We were very lucky he agreed to write and record a song for us.

The storyline is setup quickly in the beginning clips...it is a comedy...so she's infiltrated their group hoping to silence Charlie...local gov't conspiracy, Cajun, etc...

Oh..and for you car buffs...the Agent's car is a real Shelby Mustang in the last scene..only about 100 of those were every made. Seemed like another cool detail to add to it.

We had a blast doing it.

Thanks,
ProfD

[ProfD]

Thanks Penfever...there were some storyline and editing choices made to fit the script into the 6 min timeline. Example...the original script begins in a college classroom. We actually filmed all of the scenes as written in the script, but ended up leaving out three of those entirely during editing..again, due to the timeline. But, that was part of the festival challenge.

Thanks for the comments.

[Brandon Rice]

Well, here I am commenting on your film :) I really did not like this film. I was very excited at the beginning when you had the shots of the newspaper, and stuff, that was cool. But from there I was confused as heck, and really didn't like the characters. The dude who was high was really annoying, and the girl was as well. I really liked that song you used. Is that a local band or something? Anyway, good effort, looking forward to seeing more of your work as you progress. Peace!

[HagerNYC]

I loved the idea of a red neck hunter going out and shooting an alien in the woods. lol I'm from the South and know a lot of people just like "Charlie" haha. I also liked what you were trying to do with the druggie guy, but I think it fell a little short of what you needed. As said above the sound was the issue that made it hard to view. Just in the opening astonomy party. I think edits were too close and all the voices started to blend together in my ears. After the fest, I would cut it a little longer and post it on your website if you have one. I was almost hoping that when Charlie showed the bar keep the alien he shot that it was just some real person instead. lol

[ProfD]

Thanks Hager for the constructive comments. I liked your idea about showing the barkeep a real person in the end! heh...that's cool. We scheduled some shoots showcasing Charlie actually shooting the Alien...had a cool costume going an all, but the weather and timing just didn't allow it. Ran with what we had.

It's so strange hearing your comment on the sound...we worked very hard on that part of it, some in a recording studio, and thought it was a decent effort. Thanks for the comments though....will certainly look into that.

[ProfD]

Well, here I am commenting on your film :) I really did not like this film. I was very excited at the beginning when you had the shots of the newspaper, and stuff, that was cool. But from there I was confused as heck, and really didn't like the characters. The dude who was high was really annoying, and the girl was as well. I really liked that song you used. Is that a local band or something? Anyway, good effort, looking forward to seeing more of your work as you progress. Peace!
Thanks for the comment. Although I found it a little brash.

You are the first person in months of development that did not understand these simple characters...interesting feedback. Perhaps it's a southern thing..? Some people just don't like the southern accent and all. It's cool.

We created some depth and not just a single straight-foward main plot. There are a few additional sub-plots also.

Oh well...

But, basically, what's going on is Charlie is a good ole boy southern redneck type who happens to also be into astronomy and does not want to be recaptured by the aliens. The Agent is part of the subplot conspiracy and wants to keep the story contained. Given the 6 minute limit, we quickly developed a few characters here and there like the druggie, the student, the professor, the barkeep, etc...

We had fun and learned a lot....like you, we are beginning and learning as we go along. This was more or less a group of friends who got together and came up with an original sci-fi comedic concept and made a film using basic creative tools - DVX-100A and Sony Vegas.

Maybe the feature film we are doing next would be more to your liking - it's not sci-fi. It is southern based though....we sort of like poking fun at ourselves sometimes and also celebrating the culture too.

Thanks again for your comment.

[Shaun Patrick]

I don't think it's just a "Southern Thing" because I think the comedy in this piece depends so heavily on familiar stereotypes (the stoned hippie and the redneck, etc.). Familiar stereotypes, however, aren't the same as character development. I feel maybe there are just too many characters/subplots for a six minute piece but you definitely get some points from me for ambition. With that said, the best short films, in my opinion, are always very narrow in scope and only have 1 or 2 characters. Again, it sounds like you took this as a learning experience and hopefully you can transfer that knowledge to your feature film endeavor.

One thing did really bug me from an editing standpoint--your overuse of dissolves. This is especially true during the opening scene. Every cut is an additive dissolve or a fade to black creating a very jumpy feeling. Straight cuts, I feel, would've probably worked a lot better. Usually a dissolve or a fade to black is used to imply the elapsing of time.

Overall, though, nice job and good luck on you feature. Throw up a link here when you have a trailer and what not.

[ProfD]

Shaun...I really appreciate and respect your opinions...I've noted your well thought-out and constructive comments on the other film threads as well. The dissolves and straight cuts were certainly a choice and this was my first time to ever use Sony Vegas or edit a film.

I also understand your point about the restrictive time lending itself to a preference for fewer characters. I guess that is a personal thing though. I like to see how much depth and interest can be created in a short time...but, I can also see creating that depth in fewer characters as a plus as well.

Again..thanks..and you have earned my respect.

Honestly...it bugged me when the first post on here trashed our effort and the guy admittedly didn't even few the whole clip. Just seemed odd.

Thanks again buddy.

[Shaun Patrick]

Word up...

[angrynerdrock07]

I actually like some of the dipping to black and dissolves because it gave the sense of them being out there for a while. Absolutely loved your intro as well. The song served it well. Got a kick out of the line "This is not a low-budget science fiction film". Good luck on your feature film!

[DannyDarko]

I enjoyed it. My favorite title out of the bunch!

[arielman]

I think the compression affected this one as with others .
The acting was so so .Loved the music ..perfect for this short!!!!
Loved the "Other News" clip of Uncle Bubba-Roy giving away free Rosters...lmao..
As quirky as this short was ....I loved it ..had me smiling !!!!!.
Too bad about Charlie though , didn't expect him to be shot ..Bummer!!
Ian

[janzie]

ok, after reading all the comments, i watched it again, so here is a few things:

i really liked the beginning (newspaper etc.) and the song
i understand, that different characters meet on a field to watch the stars, but i think some kind of establishing shot would have helped...and as far as i remember that´s part of the beauty of the south: the landscapes...why not show it to us?

then, i need some orientation (as of where the actors are placed) - right now, it seems like you set up your lights in one place, then put the actors in front of the camera and tried to create the illusion of them interacting in post...
different angles could´ve helped to keep the interest of the viewer

i didn´t like the pot smoker (acting wise), because i always had the feeling that you had to cut away before he started laughing...

the sound of the dialogue in the bar was not good (the atmo was too loud)- since we don´t see anybody else (again establishing the scene), why didn´t you shoot on a quiet set and then mixed in the background?

i liked the barkeepers "clash"-t-shirt...

as soon as the police arrives, i think you had better options on your compositions (again to keep things interesting or even better get more dramatic shots) i mean charlie gets shot, for crying out loud - he deserves a more dramatic death scene...

i hope that some thoughts might help...
keep shooting

[Jeremy Ordan]

Charlie Bags an Alien – I liked the music in the beginning, but what sort of hurt me was the acting, sound, and lighting. The dialogue cuts in and out and you can tell when there is a dialogue track running. Just a lot of unnecessary noise. Overall the pace seemed a little slow and the lighting had no depth, it seemed sort of video-ish. At 2:15 you can hear the sound really cutting in and out and that noise just pulls me out of the experience. Great job on getting together a rather large cast and pulling the project off. Great song in there, really enjoyed it, and the shotgun thing worked well for me.

[Z B Brox]

I'm gonna throw in wiht the people complementing the opening and the song. I thought the song was actually quite well used throughout, in addition to being a nice piece of music.

My biggest problem was probably a combination of editing and acting. The editing in the beginning seemed like a lot of very quick, very uniform fades that really took me out of the storytelling. Also, it seemed like a few times the camera cut to actors who weren't quite acting yet, like when you catch a news anchor just before the teleprompter starts. With the possible exception of the girl at the bar, I never really felt like these people didn't know they were on camera--especially when they occasionally made eye contact with it.

[EditPhish]

One thing did really bug me from an editing standpoint--your overuse of dissolves. This is especially true during the opening scene. Every cut is an additive dissolve or a fade to black creating a very jumpy feeling. Straight cuts, I feel, would've probably worked a lot better. Usually a dissolve or a fade to black is used to imply the elapsing of time.
I wanted to comment on the cinematography too -- the overuse of zooming bugged me. It felt kinda "wedding-video-like". It doesn't bother me to see it used for dramatic effect, but when it's overused, it gets tired.

I thought the acting was a bit weak and fake. I didn't like the music, but I realize that's a personal taste thing... and I think the sound needed a lot of work -- not the music sound, but the OTHER sounds... dialogue was sometimes hard to hear or hard to understand (particular parts in the bar).

The gun at the end seemed really unrealistic to me.

I give you credit for putting forth the effort and hate to sound so harsh, but I just really didn't enjoy the film much. I understand what you've said about what you were trying to get across, but it didn't translate well in the six minutes you had.

Thanks for sharing it!

[BrianV]

I dunno. Something seemed too blue about the night exteriors.

True, Michael Mann has a hard-on (pardon the phrase) for nighttime exteriors that have a blue sun, but it sorta put up a flag for me.

Didn't really kill the piece, but definately something that caught my eye.

[conrad_johnson]

Good job. The story was very unique, and obviously was a play on the local "flavor" of your hometown...

The framing and editing was awkward throughout. The dialogue was difficult to hear in the bar. I liked the original music.

[lookatmeimbender]

hmm. briging Michael Mann into this just seems weird. this movie needs alot of help. the story was off and the sound too. Just something did not work. sorry.

[Blaine]

ProfD,
I really liked the music. I love blues and the delta sound. (Also, a big time Dr. John fan)
I thought the newspaper was cool and everything you needed to know was there if you looked for it. It's amazing how many UFO encounters happen in backwater areas and how often mind altering substances (read booze and pot) are involved. Your story pointed this out.

I thought the C.A.P. tattoo on the back of her had was a bit heavy handed (no pun intended). I thought some of the actors' postioning in frame within the scenes felt a little contrived.

I also felt the zoom was overused. If you had used it a little more judiciously I think the overall effect would have been better. One other shooting choice bothered me a little and that was the scene between the teacher and the stoner. The rackover focus was too much for me. I found myself paying more attention to the effect than the story, especially since it was going from the stoner's face to the back of the teacher's head. I think a reverse shot might have made the interaction more interesting. The background sound in the bar made it hard to hear the dialogue.

I thought the idea of the alien strapped to the hood of the pickup was hilarious. I thought you told a story but could have set up the undercover agent better, perhaps by lingering on that part of the newspaper just a little longer because I didn't buy the payoff at the end the first time through.

The acting was uneven. A couple of the actors were funny and added the flavor you were going for while a couple others were stodgy. I complement you for doing this and seeing the project through is a reward in itself. Your next effort will be better for the things you learned on this one.

[Beat Takeshi]

This was a little hard to follow but im thinking he shot the lady with the tattoo right? It totally felt like a 70s joint with the shots of the lady at the telescope. Reminded me of the old way of doing a cheesy glamour shot. It was kind of funny.
The biggest problem was bringing the shelby into the movie. After that, all i could think of was.. was that a real gt350? Then I thought about my old mustang I had and that I want to get another old one.
You should have done a Christie type movie featuring the car. :)
Anyway, this did make me laugh. Keep on fliming.

[P!body]

Filmmakers in Monroe, La.
Cool. I'm glad to hear your out here neighbor.

I liked the short it showcased a lot of talent. And I've been reading through a lot of the posts and I just wanted to say you did a great job, regardless. You set out to tell a comic story and you did so. And it worked. People laughed, I laughed.

One the whole I really liked the cinamatography. It didn't knock my sock s off or anything, but I think you have a great instinct for the storytelling.

One thing that bothered me was the stargazing scene's overt use of zoom between each of the characters once the aliens get there. It didn't seem appropriate. Although I loved the zoom effect used in the end of "Ocean's Twelve". [maybe it was a source of inspiration]

Some of the editing and pacing was a little hard to follow, but I think a lot of that will just come in time (learning more about Vegas and all that).

You should definitely post the longer cut after the festival. I'd love to get a chance to see the complete vision.

[Curugon]

This one earned at least a couple extra points for the line, "this is not a low-budget science fiction film!!"

[Ought2bCommitted]

Hey ProfD!

I haven't read the other posts, so sorry if you get repeats!

I found a lot of humor in the piece. I had a couple of smiles and laughs.

Overall I did find it lacking though. The acting was verrrryyy uneven as was the audio. Great use of the score though. Great song, fit well with your piece.

There could have been a little more lighting. I know they were looking at a night sky and you seemed to want to focus on that, but WHERE were they looking at a night sky? That detail can be just as interesting. Its important to see the background, even if in shadow. Gives a sense of environment, and can help tremendously with mood.

Really good effort. Fun to watch!

-Robert

[Jared Meyer]

Great premise - a Cajun style alien romp will never get old :)

Loved the opening sequence with the newspaper, as well as the music.

I got quite a bit disoriented with the first scene, I think due to the numerous fades/dissolves/zooms whenever you cut from one character to another, as well as the lack of any establishing wide shots. I couldn't really tell where they were, or how time was passing.

And show us the alien next time! :)

Again, awesome idea. Can't wait to see the next iteration, especially if it's got the same brand of humor.

-Jared

[iSTy]

I couldn't see the humour here other than very bad acting.

[Captain KickAss]

I was very impressed by the opening of the film. I thought the newspaper clippings were a very nice touch...although I was distracted by the headline for "free rosters." I couldn't figure out whether that was an accidental typo or a purposefual stab at southern intelligence.

From there it all went downhill. The story was very disjointed, the acting was pretty bad, the cinematography was nothing special, and the editing was very distracting.

Interesting premise though. With some improvements, this could actually be a very entertaining film.