The Visitor - by JTyner & EditPhish

[EditPhish]

Shot entirely on DVX100a

Edited on Final Cut Express

Directed by: Tony Media

Screenplay by: Tony & Amy Media

Scoring & Sound: Tony Media

FX: Amy Media

Edited by: Amy Media

Cinematography: Tony & Amy Media

Starring: Tony Media, Summer Rose and Creeton Zan Villean


We're open to any comments and constructive criticism as we're always looking to learn and improve.

Thanks!

(ps. hoping our film gets uploaded soon!)

[penfever]

I'm sorry no one has commented on your film so far. I think it's not very fair. I liked the acting quite a lot - the young girl was really pretty fun.
I think the weak link in this film was production values, like locations, lighting, things of that variety. I guess that's not all that surprising - not everyone has $1000s to spend on pro crew and sweet toys to play with, not to mention the time. So I'd say it was a fun view, and that's probably all you expected anyhow, so nice work.

[ProfD]

Looks like you guys had a ton of fun creating this. The last clip with the dancing alien and the soundtrack was hilarious...I wish that soundtrack and feel could've been captured earlier. Maybe start the clip with it or something. heh...I can't stop laughing about that last clip...

I agree with Penfever...I'm starting to notice that all things are not equal with some of the shorts. Obviously some folks have larger budgets, and apparent access to some serious editing and CGI effects capabilities.

I hope that in the future, limiting the creative tools allowed would make the playing field a little more equal. Perhaps that would put the focus on the individual's creativity and originality.

Cool. You guys rocked.

[Shaun Patrick]

Overall I enjoyed it. It was a neat, simple concept that delivered some good laughs--especially whenever the father character opened his mouth. The CG worked for me (the news report looked good) and I think you did a great job with the tools you had at your disposal. I also like the little nice touches throughout the film (the "Filmmaking for Dummies Book" and "Lame Magazine")...some nice attention to detail as far as production value goes.

My one critique is the framing of the Shot-Reverse-Shots throughout the piece. The eyeline was wrong because the characters were framed on the same side of the frame throughout. The shots need to be broken up so the daughter is on one side of the frame and the father is on the opposite when cutting back and forth--otherwise it can be disorienting.

[Blaine]

I had a lot of fun watching this one. Looking back over it, I see you set up the ending but it still caught me a little off guard. Good one.

[Brandon Rice]

Fun film... I liked the acting of the girl. The dad was pretty awful. I did like the whole twist at the end... although I thought the dad might be involved somehow, just didn't know how... Loved the MIB reference HAHA! Nice work, fun movie to watch, enjoyed it!

[EditPhish]

Let me start off by saying that the WMV conversion wasn't so great... my mp4 looks MUCH better... less washed out, and not jittery... like the WMV :( -- dunno if I did something wrong, but I was really diligent in how I converted to mpeg2.

Thanks so much for the comments so far everyone...

Penfever... appreciate your sentiment, though I do think we were in the last batch uploaded, so we have to give time for everone to comment :) -- I do agree with you on our "weak link" and it's something we need to challenge ourselves more to work on (and be willing to take more chances). Glad you enjoyed it though :)

ProfD... we always have a ton of fun doing our films... it's part of the goal for us. If it's feels too much like work, then there wouldn't be a high-enough payoff. We love this stuff... and just HAVE to have fun. Lots of laughs... LOTS! We, like you, were cracking up ourselves over the last clips and sequence!... and if we made others laugh, great! Humor is harder to pull off than you think... without it being... too... cheesie, or too much of an "inside joke" for others to get. Thanks so much for the kind comments, and I'm really glad you had fun watching it. We were pretty proud of our limited CGI with our limited access/equipment/capabilities -- it was really our first attempt at it.

Shaun... Thanks for noticing our attention to details... it was important to us to bring people into the story, and details seemed important. There was even more we could have done, and just ran out of time trying to execute it all. Thanks for your comments on the reverse shots and editing... I was really challenging myself to take it up a notch with this film, and admittedly was feeling pretty proud of the editing... but I KNOW it still needs works, so I appreciate your thoughts. I'll keep it in mind next time when shooting and editing. I know about the whole disorienting thing, and was trying to avoid that as much as possible, but I haven't quite got it "down" yet :) (obviously).

Blain... thanks for noticing that too! You wonder sometimes when you're creating a story if you're filling in enough blanks for others to get it (and not just you as the filmmaker). I think it's where some of the other entries lost me... THEY knew what they were talking about, but I didn't always "get it". I'm glad to see you realized the set-up, even if it took a second watch.

Briceman... thanks for the comments... you notice the difference between someone who goes to acting school and is serious about drama vs. someone who just kinda wings it -- LOL

Looking forward to others' comments and crits!

Amy (and Tony too)
aka. EditPhish and JTyner

[JimtheJib]

i think that the little girls acting was what ruined the film for me. it has potential but casting is crucial (as it has also been told to me...) its really difficult to find decent actors. Another inconsistency that buged me was that she ways she lost her ipod scarf and hat but you didn't show two of them and for some reason something as trivial as a scarf seems odd for someone to notice right away. the shots at night with the girl seems repetitive and her eyes rolling around seemed random as if you had said to her roll you eyes around for this shot.

What it did really like was the cj effect blowing up walmart and the opening zoom in. nice work... i liked the ending. The fathers acting shaped up towards the end.

[EditPhish]

Thanks for the comments Jim... funny how these things are so subjective, eh? Interesting how you didn't like the girl, but others did (don't mean that sarcastic, I do find it interesting). I'm not sure I agree with you on the inconsitency completely, but for the sake of time we just couldn't show everything disappearing without losing other parts of the story -- maybe a minute more we could have got into it more :) -- After several viewings and viewing again, I did question myself the night scene being too long... and another friend made a similar comment, so I can't disagree with you on that ;)

Glad you liked the CG... as it was our first attempt at it...

Amy (and Tony too)
aka. EditPhish and JTyner

[Shawn Murphy]

Perhaps not the greatest acting or slick production values, but I was definitely entertained and really dug all the clever funny stuff..

now I gotta get me some of those fuzzy pink slippers!

[Norm Sanders]

I've not read the others' posts in here, as I don't want to skew what I'm stating in here.

The acting, especially in the beginning was weak, I felt ... more so by the girl ... just felt flat. But who cares ... once she comes out with her hair whacked, and he's trying to talk with his mouth full, I was in stitches laughing. Hilarious from that point forward and I LOVED the music & alien dancing at the end. Classic stuff.

I'm still laughing now, thinking about the lead yelling with his mouth full, trying to keep the milk from spilling over his lips, etc. :)

I was actually pretty impressed with the VFX, considering what you had to work with. The laser coming out of the gun looked perfect, BTW.

Lighting is an area that can use a lot of attention/improvement in the future. I also could have done without the 45 degree angle shots that kept reversing as we drove down the neighborhood streets at the beginning.

Oh, also dug (if I'm right) that Tony played all of the male characters (the news anchor, farmer, etc.).

On a totally different note, I think it's awesome that you two do this together, and both have the same passion ... very, very cool. And, is your last name REALLY Media, or did you change it for business reasons? Stage name(s)? :)

Anyway, thanks for making me laugh so hard. By far, more than I've laughed in any other to date.

[arielman]

Nice!!
The Ship crashing didn't do it for me BUT crashing into Wal Mart did .
I liked the girl , thought she did a nice job,the Father I felt was a little weak BUT I also felt the Father and Daughter roles worked well together .
The night scene of the girl in bed was great . Loved the shots of her eyes moving back and forth . I didn't like the Quick flash or 2 that kind of threw me off just a little .
Some how I didn't feel sorry for the Father in the end when the Alien Zapped him . Maybe it was because he didn't care when his Daughter hasn't slept for days .
I had to laugh when I saw those Alien hands ..WHY? ...Because I'm sure I have the same ones ..lol.
Really like the bit with the Alien dancing at the end and who comes home .
Before I forget ...Laughed when I saw the Father wearing PINK slippers and the Father reading Filmmaking for Dummies...lol nice touch.
Ian

[BrianV]

Gotta say I dug the pink slippers.

It was fun. *shrug* Which is all it really has to be.

[edit: realized that may have sounded condescending... didn't mean it to be :) sincerity over here]

[EditPhish]

I want to reply to everyone, but will probably only get to two of them tonight... still have some critiques to leave :)


Perhaps not the greatest acting or slick production values, but I was definitely entertained and really dug all the clever funny stuff..

now I gotta get me some of those fuzzy pink slippers!
Shawn... thanks so much for taking the time to comment. We DO have to take it up a notch for the next "fest" or even film we make on our own, but I'm glad you were entertained... that's ultimately the goal, right?

As for the slippers... I believe I got them at Target :P -- LOL



I've not read the others' posts in here, as I don't want to skew what I'm stating in here.

The acting, especially in the beginning was weak, I felt ... more so by the girl ... just felt flat. But who cares ... once she comes out with her hair whacked, and he's trying to talk with his mouth full, I was in stitches laughing. Hilarious from that point forward and I LOVED the music & alien dancing at the end. Classic stuff.
Glad to make you laugh Envision... since we were shooting for the comedy angle, it's important to hear we made some laugh -- Funny how different people have different opinions on the acting... we know it's an area we must challenge ourselves on more (as in finding actors), and the girl -- actually our daughter -- is really into acting (goes to acting school, drama camp, etc.) -- but she can take the criticism well... it's how she'll improve too :)

The end scene was planned right from the beginning and all JTyner's (Tony's) idea... LOL


I'm still laughing now, thinking about the lead yelling with his mouth full, trying to keep the milk from spilling over his lips, etc.
Dude, can I tell you how unhappy he was when we finished filming that scene! We had gone through it several times and he was started to get SICK of Cheerios. It became dubbed the "Cheerio's from hell" scene. We got to the pont where he started spitting them into a bag instead of really eating them. I don't think the poor boy wants to see another Cheerio as long as he lives!


I was actually pretty impressed with the VFX, considering what you had to work with. The laser coming out of the gun looked perfect, BTW.
That means a lot... thanks! It was my real first attempt at any 3D animation and matting it into video. Luckily, I have done some 3D modeling (though not a lot) and I could think out how to get it done for something that wouldn't be on screen too long. The motion tracking on the laser was a real bitch and took some time, but I think it was worth it. I know it's no Star Wars (LOL), but we got the job done, and for our first attempt at FX, I'm pretty pleased.


Lighting is an area that can use a lot of attention/improvement in the future. I also could have done without the 45 degree angle shots that kept reversing as we drove down the neighborhood streets at the beginning.
Totally agree with you on the lighting. We just bought our first set of lights AFTER submitting this film, and we'll be playing around with techniques and practicing to get it better next time around. We've known for a while now that this is an area we really have to work on.

I can't disagree with you on the neighborhood shots... I think we envision it better than it turned out, but we stuck to our mental story-board as much as possible so not to end up off schedule.


Oh, also dug (if I'm right) that Tony played all of the male characters (the news anchor, farmer, etc.).
LOL if you saw our "reel" (which is not a reel, just our collection of shorts) you'd see that's a common theme -- :D. And the Farmer character is actually an inside joke in our family since he's had several movie appearances now. He does the radio voices at the beginning too -- that's what happens when you don't go out and get more actors -- LOL


On a totally different note, I think it's awesome that you two do this together, and both have the same passion ... very, very cool. And, is your last name REALLY Media, or did you change it for business reasons? Stage name(s)?
Thanks... we've been making short films now on a totally amateur level for a few years and growing into better equipment and ALWAYS having fun. We laugh our asses off. You can imagine the collection of outtakes. Humor seems to be where we go most of the time, but we do want to challenge ourselves to make some serious films (and idea we have right now is actually pretty darn serious). It's going to be harder for us, and we KNOW we have to get out of the living room and into locations with actors.

About our last name... let me just say it's an interesting thing you picked up on ;)


Anyway, thanks for making me laugh so hard. By far, more than I've laughed in any other to date.
Anytime... glad you enjoyed it so much!

[BrianV]

As for the slippers... I believe I got them at Target :P -- LOL


Done and done. I'm there. :)

[Kaz]

Hey, Edit. I come in here to finally make a comment and realize after reading about dancing aliens and crap that I hadn't even seen your film yet!

I looked at my ballot (which I already sent in to Jarred) and noticed TWO "visitor" titles. But here's the best part...I filled out the wrong one. Yours was completely scored out (and with good marks mind you).

So then I downloaded and watched and will now comment.

This was funny. I thought the girl did okay and the dad...
The alien hand looked great. I liked the gag media stuff everywhere (magazines/news station/etc.)

One thing I DEFINITELY would have done was make the eradication of the dad a single camera shot. Low to the alien like you had it, gun comes out...BAM! Smokey robe falls into frame. Sure, you would have lost the cool FX shot, but it would be worth it. Maybe add in a goofy, high pitched "Ahh!" as the Dad gets it.

And yeah, the dancing alien rocked.

[EditPhish]

Nice!!
The Ship crashing didn't do it for me BUT crashing into Wal Mart did .

Funny story about that... we got to the Walmart parking lot and started setting up the tripod and within about 2 minutes security was there asking us what we were doing and telling us they don't allow pictures inside or outside the store. Seem that Walmart is a bit shy! LOL

Needless to say we moved across the street and took the 20 seconds of footage we needed ;)



I liked the girl , thought she did a nice job,the Father I felt was a little weak BUT I also felt the Father and Daughter roles worked well together .

Thanks... they do play off each other nice, but Tony tends to overact a bit... he's working on it and getting better. In doing comedies, sometimes it's okay... but if we want to get any serious story told it's not going to work. We are also going to be challenging ourselves to get more actors, real ones, involved.


The night scene of the girl in bed was great . Loved the shots of her eyes moving back and forth . I didn't like the Quick flash or 2 that kind of threw me off just a little .

Thanks... in the end I think this scene was a tad too long... but we worked hard to get the lighting right. It was a "day for night" effect and when we lit the scene we tried to create a light of contrast so it would look good as night. I really am pleased with how it turned out... I think it shows that we paid attention to lighting unlike other parts of the film ;)


Some how I didn't feel sorry for the Father in the end when the Alien Zapped him . Maybe it was because he didn't care when his Daughter hasn't slept for days .

LOL... it's actually kinda good you didn't care... we wanted him to come across as annoying, especially at the end (hence the alien tapping his finger).


I had to laugh when I saw those Alien hands ..WHY? ...Because I'm sure I have the same ones ..lol.

Really like the bit with the Alien dancing at the end and who comes home .

That's funny! We bought them just for this film... and we bought an alien head too but it never showed up so we ended up borrowing one from a friend (the one you see in the credit shots)... always funny when you can borrow an alien head from a friend...



Before I forget ...Laughed when I saw the Father wearing PINK slippers and the Father reading Filmmaking for Dummies...lol nice touch.
Ian

LOL seems quite a few people liked those pink slippers.... and thanks for noticing some of our little details!




Gotta say I dug the pink slippers.

It was fun. *shrug* Which is all it really has to be.

[edit: realized that may have sounded condescending... didn't mean it to be :) sincerity over here]


Didn't sound condescending at all... glad you enjoyed it... thanks for viewing!

[EditPhish]

Hey, Edit. I come in here to finally make a comment and realize after reading about dancing aliens and crap that I hadn't even seen your film yet!

I looked at my ballot (which I already sent in to Jarred) and noticed TWO "visitor" titles. But here's the best part...I filled out the wrong one. Yours was completely scored out (and with good marks mind you).

So then I downloaded and watched and will now comment.

This was funny. I thought the girl did okay and the dad...
The alien hand looked great. I liked the gag media stuff everywhere (magazines/news station/etc.)

One thing I DEFINITELY would have done was make the eradication of the dad a single camera shot. Low to the alien like you had it, gun comes out...BAM! Smokey robe falls into frame. Sure, you would have lost the cool FX shot, but it would be worth it. Maybe add in a goofy, high pitched "Ahh!" as the Dad gets it.

And yeah, the dancing alien rocked.

Thanks for the comments Kaz! I was a little worried about scoring with two titles so similar, but c'est la vie :)

Thanks for noticing our "gag media"... we actually took a bit of time on those details and I said to Tony at one point "there should be voting for extra attention to props!" LOL... doing the Time -- er Lame -- magazine was fun, and we had a good time with the scroll at the bottom of the news... it's almost a shame you don't see most of it :D

The shot(s) where dad gets vaporized were a point of contention in this film... we were going to go for the one shot approach, but I was afraid it wouldn't work as well and would be hard to tell what was going on from the floor perspective. Tony was adament about getting the last bathrobe shot in at the end (I was afraid it wouldn't work) -- and he was right, I'm glad we put it in... I don't know if I would have liked it without the other shot though...hmmm. Definitely have to think about that one some more :)

Thanks so much for your comments! I'm actually honored you watched and enjoyed it. We certainly don't have the "production value" of a film like yours and we are going to keep working to improve to get there, so every bit of criticism help!

[CallaghanFilms]

I thought that the actors were well suited
for the tongue-in-cheek tone of the film.

I felt a hint of a Ray Ramano vibe from Tony. This could be from his voice pattern, but I think it was more in the delivery. This is definitely a positive...Ramano is one of the few comedians today that I would consider to be of the old school of comedy.

The sight gags worked IMO.

I thing the story was well thought out. It reminded me of the SNL skit where Gilda Radner had gypsies under her bed, and a "monster" In her closet. I liked the "double twist" ending. The father being privy to the alien's presence may not have caught every viewer off guard, but I'd wager that the alien's "renewal" of his lease agreement with a ray gun was for many (I know it was for me.)

Cheershttp://www.dvxuser.com/V6/images/smilies/beer.gifon a fun little film that left me smiling.

[Kaz]

Oh, and that dad was EVIL. I mean, making his daughter go crazy, selling off her belongings... Damn. He deserved that 1.21 giga-watt death.

[Blaine]

Now that I'm getting around to the second round of viewing I'm going to try to make some constructive comments. I haven't read everybody's comments so if I repeat something, forgive me. Or better yet take it as something more people are seeing.

Your opening shots of the houses was a little disorienting to me. It needed to be slowed down some.

I love "Lame" magazine and Financiing for Dummies.

I liked the father's acting better than the little girl. She seemed to be a bit stiff and forcing her lines. He pulled off the sleezy money grabber well.

I actually thought the alien killing the father took away from the humor of the whole thing. I felt almost like a "way out." I think it would have been funnier leaving the alien "in debt" to his landlord. But that may just be me.

I DID enjoy watching this.

[EditPhish]

I thought that the actors were well suited
for the tongue-in-cheek tone of the film.

Thanks :)


I felt a hint of a Ray Ramano vibe from Tony. This could be from his voice pattern, but I think it was more in the delivery. This is definitely a positive...Ramano is one of the few comedians today that I would consider to be of the old school of comedy.

Thanks... I'll pass it along to him. This is his kind of humor in life as well, so it suits him. He's working on not overacting things though.


The sight gags worked IMO.

We tried :)


I thing the story was well thought out. It reminded me of the SNL skit where Gilda Radner had gypsies under her bed, and a "monster" In her closet. I liked the "double twist" ending. The father being privy to the alien's presence may not have caught every viewer off guard, but I'd wager that the alien's "renewal" of his lease agreement with a ray gun was for many (I know it was for me.)

Cheers on a fun little film that left me smiling.

While we didn't really script or storyboard it, we DID plan it out, and everything was thought out ahead of time of how we wanted it to play through -- so thanks for noticing!

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the comment.



Oh, and that dad was EVIL. I mean, making his daughter go crazy, selling off her belongings... Damn. He deserved that 1.21 giga-watt death.

Yup, kinda what we were going for. No one was supposed to feel sorry for him. ;)



Now that I'm getting around to the second round of viewing I'm going to try to make some constructive comments. I haven't read everybody's comments so if I repeat something, forgive me. Or better yet take it as something more people are seeing.

Your opening shots of the houses was a little disorienting to me. It needed to be slowed down some.

Yeah, I commented on this above too... I think it played better in our imagination than on screen... or at least it didn't come out as good as we hoped.


I love "Lame" magazine and Financiing for Dummies.

Was actually Filmmaking for Dummies... but Financing would have worked too!


I liked the father's acting better than the little girl. She seemed to be a bit stiff and forcing her lines. He pulled off the sleezy money grabber well.

It's interesting how some people liked her better and some liked the dad better. She's actually more serious about acting than he is... and both of them are comfortable in front of the camera. It's a matter of learning (and practicing) at playing things naturally. And we KNOW we have to challenge ourselves to find more actors. :)


I actually thought the alien killing the father took away from the humor of the whole thing. I felt almost like a "way out." I think it would have been funnier leaving the alien "in debt" to his landlord. But that may just be me.

I DID enjoy watching this.

LOL he deserved to be zapped hehehe... see above replies.
I see your point though... there were several ways we could have taken it, and in the end we decided on vaporizing him. He was so annoying in lecturing the alien there was no way the alien WASN'T going to zap him.... hehehe

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the comments!

[Blaine]

Was actually Filmmaking for Dummies... but Financing would have worked too!
D'oh! My bad. I was so into his financial shenanigans that I totally misread that.:o

[macgregor]

Hey, the script was fun and the ending nice!

[conrad_johnson]

Hey - I just watched your short. It had a cute story - good job. Good job making the girl feel "alone" in your framing. At first, the framing seemed off-putting but then it began to make sense, so I'll assume you were doing the unconventional framing on purpose! Everything else was pretty good. The CGI stuff was not that great, but given the humor of the piece I don't think it matters. Hooray for making your aliens crash into Wal-Mart - very funny.

[EditPhish]

Thanks Macgregor... appreciate your comments. Glad you thought it was fun.

Conrad... I'll say thanks, but I can't say we consciously chose the framing we did to make her seem "alone" ...could have been subconscious... hmmm, have to think about that... but I'd love to hear more about what you initially didn't like about it. I know our CGI wasn't too impressive (LOL)... I was fairly happy with it just because it was our first attempt at it, but I *know* there's lots of room for improvement. Not sure creating CGI is a natural talent I have anyway ;)

Thanks for watching!

[Z B Brox]

This was cute, I enjoyed it. The acting is a bit weird for me. I instantly pegged the girl as pretty good, and for some reason she sticks out in my mind as being rpetty good despite several times I thought her lines fell flat. I think she just had a really good charisma around her, she felt natural, like someone you know, but just needed work on her deliveries. Acting on the father bothered me, but as the film got funnier that mattered less.

I loved the props and other touches, and most of the effects were at least good enough to match the tone of the film, so they never brought me out of it.

What else is there, really? I laughed, I bought into the story, I loved the alien hand. Nice work.

[EditPhish]

Thanks ZB Brox... appreciate the comments. We're always looking for areas of improvement so every reply helps.

Thanks for noticing the props and little touches we added/paid attention to... was important to us to sell the story in multiple ways :)

Glad you laughed and enjoyed it!

[EditPhish]

Just decided to post some screenshots cause it's the first time I'm doing so... Not that they're all that impressive (hehe)

http://i.pbase.com/o4/27/642427/1/56469271.vis_grab01.jpg

http://i.pbase.com/o4/27/642427/1/56469274.vis_grab02.jpg

http://i.pbase.com/o4/27/642427/1/56469277.vis_grab04.jpg

http://i.pbase.com/o4/27/642427/1/56469282.vis_grab05.jpg

[Brandon Rice]

I like the ship crashed into WalMart! HAHA! Nice shots!

[EditPhish]

Thanks :)

[conrad_johnson]

Conrad... I'll say thanks, but I can't say we consciously chose the framing we did to make her seem "alone" ...could have been subconscious... hmmm, have to think about that... but I'd love to hear more about what you initially didn't like about it.

Here are some spots -

The zoom in on the radio - it cuts off their heads just as they react.

The shot-reverse shots of dad and child are a little off when they're talking on the table.

Another thing that threw me off initially was that it frequently appears that they are looking directly at the camera.

Many of the edits jump around a lot - camera angles change for no reason, etc.

In general, I would argue that editing, framing and angles should make the production seem invisible. But, of course, you can choose to make it more visible by choosing unconventional editing/framing/angles. What was initially off-putting and seemed like it could be chalked up to subpar production later contributed to the feel of the video (the weird, head-on framing of the girl made her seem more alone).

Hopefully that answers your question!

[Beat Takeshi]

I liked this but I didnt understand why the pops was taking money for stuff he probably bought himself. The girl did a good job with the acting I thought. She was a little monotone but I think that fit with her presence. The pops looked like he was hamming it up too much. He kept looking up in the air which didnt fit.
I think the eye part would be stronger if you just had the sideways view. It had a disturbing feel to it but it was weakened by the regular eye shots.
The opening dolly in I think should have been a dolly out away from the radio revealing the 2 people at the table.
You definitly got me not liking the pops and the ending fits.
The audio needed to be better.

The dancing alien can be one of those viral videos for emails. It made me laugh.
Good job.

Is media really the last names? Classic.

[iSTy]

This was a good clear picture. and although the acting wasn't particularly good the sound was cleare. This was another film I liked.

[EditPhish]

The zoom in on the radio - it cuts off their heads just as they react.

The shot-reverse shots of dad and child are a little off when they're talking on the table.

Another thing that threw me off initially was that it frequently appears that they are looking directly at the camera.

Many of the edits jump around a lot - camera angles change for no reason, etc.

In general, I would argue that editing, framing and angles should make the production seem invisible. But, of course, you can choose to make it more visible by choosing unconventional editing/framing/angles. What was initially off-putting and seemed like it could be chalked up to subpar production later contributed to the feel of the video (the weird, head-on framing of the girl made her seem more alone).

Hopefully that answers your question!
Thanks Conrad...

The dolly shot at the beginning and the way we framed it was intentional... maybe it's a "novice" choice, I dunno, but our focus was the radio and the broadcast, and the little touch of the pencil was supposed to pull you that much more into the radio... if it didn't work, maybe it wasn't the best choice :happy: -- I'll rewatch it again and try to see what you see.

Yes, someone else mentioned framing choices when going back and forth with dialogue.... I'll have to watch that more to make sure it doesn't become disorienting. I thought I'd done a good job keeping that in mind, but a few people have mentioned it so obviously not... something I will DEFINITELY try to pay that much more attention to in the future.

As for the edits jumping around... yup, there are a few spots I think I went a little overboard with unneccessary edits. I think I was trying to take it to a new level for us, and tried too hard in spots... and it shows. Do you think I did an okay job avoiding jump cuts (other than the night scene when they were intentional)? Did it seem to piece together okay other than being too many cuts in spots? I thought I did a pretty good job of keeping the story moving, even if in spots it was TOO much. What do you think?

I have a really hard time being objective about whether the editings/framing etc. was "invisible" or not, so I really do appreciate your input and will think about that more in the future. I'd be interested to hear if others agree that it was too "visible".




I liked this but I didnt understand why the pops was taking money for stuff he probably bought himself. The girl did a good job with the acting I thought. She was a little monotone but I think that fit with her presence. The pops looked like he was hamming it up too much. He kept looking up in the air which didnt fit.
I think the eye part would be stronger if you just had the sideways view. It had a disturbing feel to it but it was weakened by the regular eye shots.
The opening dolly in I think should have been a dolly out away from the radio revealing the 2 people at the table.
You definitly got me not liking the pops and the ending fits.
The audio needed to be better.

The dancing alien can be one of those viral videos for emails. It made me laugh.
Good job.
Hi Aram...

I think maybe you missed what was going on in some of the story... Dad was a money-whore and that's why he was renting out the "apartment under the bed" to the alien, unknowingly to the daughter... but the alien was stealing stuff from the daughter, which is why the alien gets the lecture from dad at the end and ends up a little aggrevated ;) (and why dad is asking him to be paid for the stuff) -- could totally be our fault for not explaning the store thoroughly enough, so I do appreciate your comments.

The girl actually has quite a bit of experience acting, but is still young, and yup, Dad was a ham... he's ALWAYS a ham... LOL :laugh:

Dolly in vs. dolly out... see above reply :) -- we were pretty specific in making the choice we did. We didn't want your focus to yet be on the people. But I am going to go back and watch and try to see what you and Conrad saw.

I think our nighttime scene needed improvements, so I agree with you. I was exceptionally happy with the lighting, but we were rushed in filming it (and it was already our second round of shooting it since the first time our lighting was terrible). I cannot disagree that there are things we did wrong there.

I'm really interested that you think the audio could have been better... this was an area we paid a LOT of attention to, so that dialogue wasn't too low or too loud... and we were very pleased with the score. I know we need to pay more attention to getting the mic closer to the actors (we had some echoey/hollow spots), but I'd like to hear what other areas you thought we could improve in with audio.



This was a good clear picture. and although the acting wasn't particularly good the sound was cleare. This was another film I liked.

Thanks... glad you enjoyed it and thought the sound and picture were clear.


Thanks everyone!

[jamestmather]

Hi editphish - just to say I enjoyed your film and loved the small details (you know the ones - books, mags etc) - also liked your track in on the radio which lost the actors - reminds me of early spielberg.

Further, despite some people riffing on the production values I found the film visually very competent unlike other films which seem to be getting better press for less competent lighting etc so disregard the nay sayers. (ie: fancy colour correction is not good cinematography) Your lighting on actors is generally good with nice eyelights - something frequently overlooked in the lighting of the films here and crucial in pro film production - (next time try to pull them away from the walls, get some depth to those backgrounds and you'll be cooking) Your score is also very atmospheric, well chosen and punctuated the story nicely.

Lastly have to say I found the story more competently presented than some others in the fest - The throughline was clear and some nice gags - one of the few I've made it to the end of without fast forwarding or finding myself completely lost at the plot.

Well done and keep it up.

James

[Captain KickAss]

This was quite the twisted but enjoyable film. The production values and acting were not exactly top notch, and the story was so-so, but all in all, I still enjoyed watching this one.

[Beat Takeshi]

Hi Edit,
I thought the part at the end where he was talking to the alien was not the best audio. I guess thats why i missed the reason he was taking the money. Everything else was good except I couldnt understand a few parts. So i guess the comment on the audio isnt about it as a whole but I guess it effected me because it was the punchline that got lost.
As james said, I did like all the little details that were in there like what he mentioned and the story was complete.

[EditPhish]

Hi editphish - just to say I enjoyed your film and loved the small details (you know the ones - books, mags etc) - also liked your track in on the radio which lost the actors - reminds me of early spielberg.
James,

Huge compliment there... and thanks! Also, thanks for noticing our "details" throughout... we did a lot of planning so they all worked out/timed our right (like the radio broadcast and the TV news).


Further, despite some people riffing on the production values I found the film visually very competent unlike other films which seem to be getting better press for less competent lighting etc so disregard the nay sayers. (ie: fancy colour correction is not good cinematography) Your lighting on actors is generally good with nice eyelights - something frequently overlooked in the lighting of the films here and crucial in pro film production - (next time try to pull them away from the walls, get some depth to those backgrounds and you'll be cooking) Your score is also very atmospheric, well chosen and punctuated the story nicely.
Thank you for your kind words. We felt we did a good job overall... and for US we were taking it to the next level... and hopefully next time it will be to an even better one! I agree with you, fancy color correction is NOT a good story or cinematography.

Thanks for noticing our attention to details... while we didn't have a lighting rig then, we did pay attention to lighting. I agree with you about space... LOL but that was just a limitation of our "set" (aka. our house). Next time we're taking it outside these four walls :happy:


Lastly have to say I found the story more competently presented than some others in the fest - The throughline was clear and some nice gags - one of the few I've made it to the end of without fast forwarding or finding myself completely lost at the plot.
Well done and keep it up.
And thanks again... I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Thanks for noticing the music too... it's one of those really underappreciated parts of any film. It's only when it's awful that you tend to notice it enough to comment... but we really did try to pay close attention to every aspect of our film... sound and music included.



This was quite the twisted but enjoyable film. The production values and acting were not exactly top notch, and the story was so-so, but all in all, I still enjoyed watching this one.
LOL, love your nickname.
Thanks for watching and glad you enjoyed it... and for your comments. With each movie we only hope to get better :thumbsup:



Hi Edit,
I thought the part at the end where he was talking to the alien was not the best audio. I guess thats why i missed the reason he was taking the money. Everything else was good except I couldnt understand a few parts. So i guess the comment on the audio isnt about it as a whole but I guess it effected me because it was the punchline that got lost.
As james said, I did like all the little details that were in there like what he mentioned and the story was complete.
Hi Aram :happy:
I can appreciate what you're saying... I think it wasn't as much the audio dialogue got too low as it was we went a little agressive on the music... and maybe it was a tad too aggressive. It was one of those things we couldn't decide on for sure.

Thanks everyone for a great time and a good challenge for US... we're already looking forward to Hero-Fest...

... and still open to any comments and criticisms people are willing to give on "The Visitor".

[conrad_johnson]

Do you think I did an okay job avoiding jump cuts (other than the night scene when they were intentional)? Did it seem to piece together okay other than being too many cuts in spots? I thought I did a pretty good job of keeping the story moving, even if in spots it was TOO much. What do you think?

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Overall, your video kept my attention, so the editing overall did a good job of keeping the story moving. There were just several unconventional choices in framing and camera angle, and as such in choices for how to edit together these shots. For example, there are shots where there is an over the shoulder of the dad (from girl's perspective), but the reverse shot is not an over the shoulder of the girl from dad's perspective (as would feel more natural). Another unnatural shot was where you'd see one somewhat natural angle of the dad and it would cut to a lower angle looking up at the dad, which is disorienting.

Another example of some unconventional framing is in the aforementioned early table shot - in the shot with radio in the center, you can still see a little bit of the dad and daughter (or in the case of the dad, the book he is holding). That makes the framing seem unintentional - it would be better to either have all of the dad/girl in the shot, or not have them in the shot at all.

Another example is that angles change seemingly for no reason. For example, when dad is at the table at one point early on, it switches from a side angle of his face to a straight-on angle of his face. This is also disorienting. This also happens when he's looking at the magazine - one shot is straight-on, then the next shot is slightly from his side, even though the size of his body in the frame is about the same.

Overall, these are artistic choices, so there's not really a right or wrong. These are just some examples of things that didn't look right to me. I would say as a general rule, when things are supposed to feel safe and "normal" in the story (ie when she's talking with her dad), you should use conventional framing and camera tricks. When things are supposed to feel alienating, (ie monster under the bed), the unconventional angles, framing, cuts, etc. make sense whereas before they didn't - which is why your jump cuts in that night scene are very effective.

I don't think you had a problem with having too many cuts (sorry if I alluded to that before) - in general, it's just a matter of to what angles you choose to cut and when, or it may have been a problem of thinking of continuity and "natural-ness" when deciding on camera angles/framing during intial filming.

Hopefully that helps, and doesn't seem like I'm picking you apart. The video was good, and all the components - the editing, the cinematography, etc. - told the story well.

[EditPhish]

Don't feel you're picking apart at all Conrad... and I totally appreciate you taking the time to go into the detail. Best way to improve is to hear others' opinions :happy:

I'm going to try to pay closer attention to framing how it should naturally flow (obviously, other than when oddity is called for). I tend not to follow "rules" but overall have a good eye for what seems to work, for perspective and such... but I'm still feeling that out with the video medium (graphic arts, art, photography's has been my "typical" medium).

I do want to always be taking it up a notch, so I'm going to be doing my "homework" and watching movies I admire... continuity, framing and camera movement are all areas I want to actively work on.

So thanks!