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View Full Version : ScriptFest XIV: HolidayFest : Chris Keaton's SATURNALIA



Chris_Keaton
12-08-2012, 09:40 AM
Saturnalia
A struggling business man takes his wife to a unique party in the hopes of improving his returns.

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=63808&d=1355609422

Reef dreamer
12-08-2012, 11:53 AM
I have no idea what your script will be but...I love the title. Very interesting.

looking forward to this one.

Chris_Keaton
12-08-2012, 01:57 PM
I've got the first page done. Making good time. :) I think it might be a porno, not sure yet. ;)

Egg Born Son
12-08-2012, 08:50 PM
I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description 'hard-core pornography' and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.
óJustice Potter Stewart

Reverse logic dictates that if you're unsure then you don't know it; and if you don't know it, it ain't.

On the other hand if you plan to write six pages but find it's all over in two, it might be... :happy:

Reef dreamer
12-09-2012, 04:18 AM
i vote porno. But can you include the line that, "Santa only comes once a year" and still be a proper porno? The great question of our age.

DarrenJSeeley
12-14-2012, 03:22 AM
I wonder if Chis will really go by the mantra of When In Rome. I can kind of imagine a Roman orgy...I was thinking about it too, but I drew blanks on what/how to write it so I brainstormed and started to write something else.

Reef dreamer
12-16-2012, 10:47 AM
Spoilers

i looked up the title after this as I assumed it meant something. I suppose had I known it would have given a part if he story away which is always a risk. Don't recall much Christmas reference but maybe the party alone is adequate.

story wise I could see your porno potential and I did wonder where it was going. At the end I wasn't sure whether it was a good twist, as i wasnt expecting it, or too much out of the blue. No foreshadowing. Indeed, there seemed to be little connection between signing up to a swingers party and turning around the fortunes of his business. However, these are not difficult to fix.

suggestions?

Foreshadow his interest In the occult/rituals/ superstition
link her acceptance to making him feel better, rather than turn the business around
Possibly he's given something in return afterwards - a reward, or just as he thinks his luck will change...
....they do him as well. The irony....but also the partner is then given something. Sold them out.

Just thoughts

Anthony Todaro
12-16-2012, 11:03 AM
You got my review. I'd will say, this was my kinda Holiday party.
When's the next one? I have someone I like to invite....

KhamIsk
12-19-2012, 12:16 AM
Hey Chris,

That was an interesting story.
He sacrifices his wife.
I thought he didn't want to but he did. And the wife sounds too eager to participate in the fun - sounds like you want us to cheer when she dies. Or maybe that's why he wants her dead?
I didn't understand that part - I want to know if he did it for business or if he wanted her dead. And if he wanted her dead I want to know why - you kind of gave a little glimpse so I'm thinking it must be the second.

This Holiday fest is way to gory for me:)

Chris_Keaton
12-19-2012, 10:07 PM
She was sacrificed to better his business, but the sacrifice had to be a willing participant.

joey46
06-20-2013, 09:24 PM
Saturnalia was that it? write more please maybe bring her back to life lol it was a great read but to fast:(