The Dust Settles

[JaceBrownlow]

58451

My first swing at dramatic storytelling this time around. I come from a comedy and horror background so having never done a war, action or even a dramatic movie before was a challenged! With a 100 dollar budget, armed with only a Canon 7D, tripod, 1 other crew member, 11 actors/extras and 23 hours to shoot... it was such great/exhausting exercise! Looking forward to its reviews on the 16th :)

Written/Produced/Costumes by Jared Brownlow
Directed/Edited/Cinematography by myself
Production Assistants: Peter Litster, Mackenzie Jones, John Litster, Eli Johnson, Nathan Rayson

Starring
Evan Hayes as 'Conner'
Bill Christensen as 'Robbie'
John Branch as 'Sgt.'
Eli Johnson as 'Rook'
Nathan Rayson as Rebel Guard

and

Jared Brownlow as Government Leader
Greg lucas as Government Soldiers #1
Justin Knopp as Government Solider #2
Eric Knopp as Government Solider #3
Samuel Minter as Government Solider #4
Peter Litster as Government Solider #5
John Litster as Government Solider #6

Special Thanks to
Suzanne Brownlow
Ken Aiken




http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4435655898190

[JaceBrownlow]

5736757368573695737057371

[Cryogenic Filmworks]

Looking forward to this. I loved civil war history back in school.

[JaceBrownlow]

Looking forward to this. I loved civil war history back in school.
were actually making it a fictional "second" american civil war. We have a buttload of actual civil war props/clothing, but we think doing something fictional might be more fun

[Noel Evans]

Good luck Jace.

[JaceBrownlow]

Good luck Jace.

Many thanks! :D

[AJ Brooks]

Cool concept. I actually was working on something along these lines. Totally different I'm sure than yours but if I make an entry I'll save the "two rival soldiers" story for a different film. Gotta put my creative cap back on. :)

Happy shootings!

[JaceBrownlow]

Cool concept. I actually was working on something along these lines. Totally different I'm sure than yours but if I make an entry I'll save the "two rival soldiers" story for a different film. Gotta put my creative cap back on. :)

Happy shootings!

Man I look forward to seeing what you can crank out for this one! :D

[Egg Born Son]

were actually making it a fictional "second" american civil war.

I like, I can only think of a couple of films that have gone there. Unexplored territory - instant cool!

[JaceBrownlow]

I like, I can only think of a couple of films that have gone there. Unexplored territory - instant cool!
Yes if we can pull it off it will be pretty cool!

[JaceBrownlow]

finally getting the gears running on this project!

[taylormade]

Good shooting. Can't wait to see the finished product.

[Chris Messineo]

I'm glad to see you got another project going for the fest - best of luck with the film!

[JaceBrownlow]

got my actors :)

[JaceBrownlow]

shooting in 1 week! Hope to have some grabs up by then!

[JaceBrownlow]

screencaps posted! :)

[Noel Evans]

Looking good.

[Egg Born Son]

I like, looking forward to it.

[Ryan P. Kelly]

Grabs look great! Love the stogie.

[JaceBrownlow]

thanks everyone, I tripled as director/dp/co-battle coordinator so it was a really rough day. But the outcome was fantastic!

[Lbab]

Looks like a Michael Bay movie! I hope you have some mega robots to go along with it :p

[JaceBrownlow]

Looks like a Michael Bay movie! I hope you have some mega robots to go along with it :p

I almost take that as an insult :p jk thanks dude!

[Russell Moore]

Cool concept. Great looking grabs! The army gear looks really good. Can't wait to see it.

[JaceBrownlow]

made a wee little teaser :)

[taylormade]

The teaser looks great, Jace. Hey, at least you had one crew member - one more than I had! But then I only had two actors. Sounds like you've made an epic. Looking forward to seeing this.

[JaceBrownlow]

The teaser looks great, Jace. Hey, at least you had one crew member - one more than I had! But then I only had two actors. Sounds like you've made an epic. Looking forward to seeing this.

when I say one crew member I also mean doubling as the main actor :p

[ZazaCast]

made a wee little teaser :)

Brokeback Mountain? :)

[JaceBrownlow]

Brokeback Mountain? :)

yes?

[JaceBrownlow]

poster is up, artwork by Andrew Carlman

[AJ Brooks]

Sweet. This looks action packed!

[JaceBrownlow]

Sweet. This looks action packed!
Thanks man! Yes its not only action packed but also full of drama, at least my attempt at it anyway :p

[Noel Evans]

Jace, well the modern Civil War is certainly an interesting them. THe most WAR packed entry Ive seen. Gunfire / action. On that I thought the action components were well done. I thought you really went for a challenging story and I give you props for that. The opposing brothers bought into the future - nice. Some of the dialogue at times felt forced. But moreover here Jace I want to commend you for what you attempted.

[JaceBrownlow]

Jace, well the modern Civil War is certainly an interesting them. THe most WAR packed entry Ive seen. Gunfire / action. On that I thought the action components were well done. I thought you really went for a challenging story and I give you props for that. The opposing brothers bought into the future - nice. Some of the dialogue at times felt forced. But moreover here Jace I want to commend you for what you attempted.

Yeah I was a little disappointed myself that more people didnt have a battle scene :p They are not easy to do so maybe that scared people away. Idk. But doing a battle scene for the first time was a lot of fun for me. I want to try it again some time in the future
Anyway! Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it. :D

[divxuser]

Definitely got the vibe/feel of the chaos of war... nice job!!!

[Ryan E. Walters]

Nice casting - especially with the sarge, great use of your locations, nice work on getting all of the props together. You pulled a lot of stuff together to make this film happen, of that you should be proud. :)

My only critique, is that the death scene took too long and was a bit over the top for my taste. While it was a nice moment, since I didn't know anything about the characters prior to this point, as a viewer, I didn't really care that they were brothers and one was dying- their internal struggle with the situation just wasn't there for me. But I think this has more to do with the fact that this is a 6 minute short, so you don't have the time to pull a viewer in like that to really pull on their heart strings.

[Gulroc]

Considering this was filmed in 23 hours, I was impressed. The colors felt a little purple to me, but that could just be personal taste. I was definitely entertained.

[JaceBrownlow]

Considering this was filmed in 23 hours, I was impressed. The colors felt a little purple to me, but that could just be personal taste. I was definitely entertained.
thank you! However, not sure what you mean by purple, as we used a more golden color correction filter.

[Gulroc]

The purple comment was only in reference to skin tones.

[maranfilms]

This was awesome, I laughed my ass off when the brother was dying, I thought the asian kung-fu movie over the top acting was a riot. At first I wasn't expecting it to have that element, but it all fell into place when the brother died. Then I got what you were going for. Very funny stuff.

[JaceBrownlow]

This was awesome, I laughed my ass off when the brother was dying, I thought the asian kung-fu movie over the top acting was a riot. At first I wasn't expecting it to have that element, but it all fell into place when the brother died. Then I got what you were going for. Very funny stuff.

Alright? In that case I think I have completely failed as a director if this made you laugh, as it was supposed to be a dramatic film… thanks for the feedback however.

[Jared Brownlow]

Haha, best response ever. Makes me kind of sad that the actors made you feel that way about the scene, but priceless response!! Admittedly, the acting was a little bit over the top, and that was not our intent. But, you have to take into account that these were last minute replacement actors. Remarkable job on the movie Jace, I'm not just saying this because I had a vested interest, but I honestly feel that this movie captured the intent of the war fest better than any other movie. If you don't win the fest, at least know that your movie attempted the most with the least. Honor and Glory brother.

[zucked]

Jace, really ambitious project here, and it sounds like you had barely any crew and time -- so fantastic job accomplishing what you did. Favorite parts were definitely the combat sequence, and the actor who played the older Sargent - he played it right and totally looked the part.
Critique: I'll echo some prior comments that the final sequence didn't really work for me and was IMO overacted. It didn't feel super dramatic for me -- I could've done with less dialogue. Anyway, great first go at drama, and for a one day shoot that's pretty crazy.

[maranfilms]

EOh man, I'm sorry guys. I thought the war scenes were really good, The audio was very crisp and had a big budget sound. I guess the reason I thought the brother scene was comical was due to the over acting and the way he kept popping up for each line, and gasping the way they do it in the old kung fu movies when someone dies, also it seemed like the dialogue wasn't matching, but the audio drift happened on another film, so I think its my connection speed or pc doing it. I thought the following scene when the guy throws up the hand jesture the surfers" hang loose" was deliberate, and to be funny, kind of mocking the way soldiers are always communicating with hand signals.

Either way kudos for getting out there and making a film, I didn't even do that, so take my comment with a grain of salt. The good thing is you learned, and your next film will be even better because we as film makers are always learning from our mistakes :)

[Jared Brownlow]

That hand signal was an actual signal for the wedge formation. We use that when entering open terrain and need soldiers to spread out in a wedge shape around the centrally located team leader.

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

Jace, Jared, super ambitious here! Visual look is stellar, and I really dig the idea of the 2nd civil war starting and what that would mean for our country. My comments would be the same as I gave in writing group, the death scene could have played better with 1/4 or even 1/10 the dialogue.

I'd have preferred less shaky cam, but it still looks cool.

Jared, you are a bad ass :-). Gotta have you in my one of my projects when I can get around to an action or war film.

Cheers guys!

[Tequilawoo]

This was a very fun shoot that I am very happy to have been a part of. As far as my overacting, my bad. Now I get to learn and grow from it and hopefully come back stronger so I can more accurately bring stories to life. Great work Jace making a lot out of so little on set time! :)

[JaceBrownlow]

Jace, Jared, super ambitious here! Visual look is stellar, and I really dig the idea of the 2nd civil war starting and what that would mean for our country. My comments would be the same as I gave in writing group, the death scene could have played better with 1/4 or even 1/10 the dialogue.

I'd have preferred less shaky cam, but it still looks cool.

Jared, you are a bad ass :-). Gotta have you in my one of my projects when I can get around to an action or war film.

Cheers guys!

Thanks man! I appreciate the feedback. We really had a good time filming this, I would have preferred a little more time to shoot as we were in a place where a bunch of locals go out to shoot real guns, so between takes we had to move out of the quarry and let them shoot there guns, then we'd go back in and do another scene and so on and so fourth. Otherwise from the little amount of recourses, time, crew we had, I am happy how it all came out. :)

[Jared Brownlow]

Don't feel bad about your scene Bill, it would have been very difficult to pull off for even a professional actor due to the way I wrote it. It takes writing a script and actually seeing how it looks on screen to realize what works and what does not. It was my first script, and I definitely learned a lot. I actually have a few more scripts that I'd like to show to the screen writing group that are in my opinion much better written that the one I wrote for this movie. I don't know when the next meeting is, but I'm leaving for Australia this coming Wednesday for the rest of the summer, meaning Jace will probably end up bringing them in my place.

[Tequilawoo]

Thanks man. I'm excited to read what you got coming next! You're gonna be a great addition to the creativity.

[Jared Brownlow]

Jace, Jared, super ambitious here! Visual look is stellar, and I really dig the idea of the 2nd civil war starting and what that would mean for our country. My comments would be the same as I gave in writing group, the death scene could have played better with 1/4 or even 1/10 the dialogue.

I'd have preferred less shaky cam, but it still looks cool.

Jared, you are a bad ass :-). Gotta have you in my one of my projects when I can get around to an action or war film.

Cheers guys!

I appreciate the kind words. I'm not much of an actor, but if you ever need somebody to carry a big gun and shoot/hit people in the face, I'll be your chosen champion.

[lawriejaffa]

Awe what can i say about this film (apart from the insane shutter speed hehe!) - this was basically an adolescents wet dream (well not mine... but dvx haven't agreed to interracial-midget-fest just yet...)

It's like Santa Claus delivered a pile of airsoft guns - and you guys had to run riot in the woods! Story wise - we're thrown into the thick of it - given (yet another dixie-land) neurosis of a USA facing imminent civil war (Chik-afils vs Starbucks). Cinematography and gun fx... etc all that kinda stuff was okay, i think the muzzle flashes could have done with (some more blur) especially with all these fast camera movements, blur it in (kill the opacity a bit) and so forth.

But back to the actual film... omg... the (oh warning - spoilers) brothers... (hehe - honestly I blame Rolf Harris for that) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmL3m2zcoOI

So we have our poor 'brother' with his excruciating death (and dialogue) giving an incredible final testimony (it basically consists of the entirety of a future 1200 wd wikipedia article on - a future US war...) I can't recall the dialogue precisely (but I'll have a go!) It went something like this....

DYING BROTHER
Bro... this is it... you got me gol'darnnit... just like you always wanted when we waaaz kids! Gosh I never thought I would see you after...
1) The OPEC Oil embargo against the US
2) The Iraqi cocoa-nut inscurrection
3) When we served together in the suicide squad of the Boy Scouts
4) Performed together on the Iranian version of Addams Family Values on... ICE!

And a variety of other unnecessary expositional past exploits relating to the granduer of the outside war being fought (to justify this self indulgent airsoft skirmish!)

That said - the acting of our dying chap (despite his dialogue) was full of energy - and the casting (for our dude with the cigar) was perfect.

I think the film could have benefited from its unashamed pure action cheese by setting us up (with the expositional stuff bang either bang in the start) or with just... 3 short lines even of dialogue at the start. It really dosent take as much to set up the action as we think - so long as we're clear and concise about it (The Captive manages to do that somewhat better.)

All in all a fun effort chaps, just lacking discipline with the storytelling with a blunderbuss approach to exposition letting it down!

[Jared Brownlow]

I agree that the placement of the exposition was poor. I didn't realize how awkwardly it would fit on screen when I wrote it. After seeing the final product, I completely agree that it would have been better suited being mentioned briefly in the beginning, not as last dying words. However, you make it seem like the idea of a future American civil war is somehow cliche or cookie cutter. I disagree with this, and think that the concept itself was the strongest part of the script, and rarely attempted by other movies. The execution of this concept should have been performed better, and it certainly will be on our next movie.

[maranfilms]

Tequilawoo, You have a great attitude, and seem like a really cool guy. Each performace is a stepping stone to the next. I do acting jobs on occasion, and can say this, You have balls of steel for taking on the role, there's not many people that even have the courage to get in front of the camera and play out a dying scene. Kudos to you man!

[taylormade]

Lots of action, high shutter speeds, high con ultra green CC, Video Copilot Action Essentials and a cigar-chewing Sgt. Rock - who could ask for more? Maybe no high shutter speed during the opening? It's not really needed when a guy is taking a leak. Using it throughout the film detracted from it's use in the action scenes. The battles were good, not great. Didn't really have that slam-bang impact at times, but it looked pretty good overall. I have to say the ending was way over the top, hurt badly by the wildly expository dialog that read like a "here's what not to do when writing a script." Who cares why they're fighting, it's the fact that they are brothers that's important. I won't go into the fact that brother fighting brother is probably the most overused war theme known to man, but nothing is original anymore.

Great job with costumes, props (although a few of the guns looked a little too Airsoft at times) and a cast of thousands. A fun short. Enjoyed watching it.

[lawriejaffa]

However, you make it seem like the idea of a future American civil war is somehow cliche or cookie cutter.

There is nothing wrong with an artist engaging with popular ideas, they only become cliche if there not presented with originality or innovation (but instead with the repetition) of other ideas. I certainly dont find your idea of a future American civil war cliche, but your presentation was the very stuff of cookie-cutter-ness at the end. So much so that it was comedic in its effect which was hardly the outcome you would have desired.

I agree with maran, you do have a good attitude towards critique and I also reckon you have balls of steel for playing out your death rattle on camera. The acting (of you) wasn't bad either but - the set up, and dialogue was what let it become something silly/cute/adolescence and cookie cutter-ish. The same outfits, same cinematography and same 'quality' of performance could have brought you a very different outcome for a film playing on your same ideas and concepts.

[JaceBrownlow]

It's like Santa Claus delivered a pile of airsoft guns - and you guys had to run riot in the woods! Story wise - we're thrown into the thick of it - given (yet another dixie-land) neurosis of a USA facing imminent civil war (Chik-afils vs Starbucks). Cinematography and gun fx... etc all that kinda stuff was okay, i think the muzzle flashes could have done with (some more blur) especially with all these fast camera movements, blur it in (kill the opacity a bit) and so forth


funny thing was, none of the guns by the primary/close up cast were actually airsoft :p the only airsoft guns were by three of the opposing side. But the brother on the opposing side, the leader of the opposing side, and all of the renegade's guns were real

[JaceBrownlow]

but I thank everyone for the critiques, some arent really anyone's fault as most of it had to do with the little amount of resources and time we had to film. Which was less then a day, no equipment other then my tripod and 7d and just the audio off the camera mic, and all the props/costumes donated by my brother and the air soft troupe who played the opposing soldiers. If I had a some crew, like a real DP, along with some great equipment like a dolly, crane, steadycame, sound, and over a week to film it, the movie would have been fantastic. But I used what I could, and personally I think we did a pretty great job.

[Chris Messineo]

I am seriously impressed that you shot a battle sequence. That is something I want to try and tackle some day - I got nervous working with just one spear. :)

I thought you did a great job of capturing the frenzy and chaos of battle. The death scene (as other have mentioned) would probably work better with less dialogue, but that is an easy fix.

I really look forward to seeing more of your films in the future.

[Chris Messineo]

I forgot to mention it above, but I LOVE your poster! It's awesome.

[JaceBrownlow]

I am seriously impressed that you shot a battle sequence. That is something I want to try and tackle some day - I got nervous working with just one spear. :)

I thought you did a great job of capturing the frenzy and chaos of battle. The death scene (as other have mentioned) would probably work better with less dialogue, but that is an easy fix.

I really look forward to seeing more of your films in the future.

Thanks man! I was surprised no one else tried it in fact, it is a bit of a challenge but once you get going it gets real easy. To prepare I got together with the cast and watch Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down, gave us some really great inspiration and ideas

[ZazaCast]

After all the hullabaloo I'm kind of afraid of posting my thoughts...but what the hell. I have to completey agree with Lawrie's review of the film. The thing that killed it for me was the high shutter speed and ADR, it made it uncomfortable to watch...that said, it was great in the fighting scene as I think you want to be on edge for that (like in "Saving Private Ryan"). The story has been done and is based in fact going back to the civil war, but it needed a fresh treatment IMHO. Death scene over the top? ...yes, but I've seen much worse. To be honest, dialogue considered, I didn't know if you were trying to be funny there or not. Still a good film and stand-up effort.


If I had a some crew, like a real DP, along with some great equipment like a dolly, crane, steadycame, sound, and over a week to film it, the movie would have been fantastic.
I'd like to respond to this comment of yours. It might seem true, but in reality it's not. It all comes down to the story not the lack of equipment or crew. This is the first fest I chose NOT to enter since 2008 (9 entries total to date) and all my films are a 'one man band' deal...there's just me and if I'm lucky, I can get one of the actors to hold a boom when they're not in a scene...or maybe I can have them bring one of their kids along to help out. In all those entries...over all those years...not even one of them placed. Did I think that correct? Was I offened at the ripping some of them recieved? Did it hurt my feelings with all the hard work, personal funding & hours I put into what I thought was a good film?

Hell's Yeah! :)
(I kid) You need a very thick skin and everyone will have a different opinion. Not all the comments you receive are correct, mearly someone's opinion to be taken with a grain of salt. You need to just keep doing what you're doing and be true to yourself...make your films for you. Lawrie is probably the most honest reviewer here and is not afraid to step on a toe (or two...or ten!), but that's the best way to learn. When a baby bird is ready to fly, it is pushed out of the nest to fall to the ground with a thump or fly forward in it's life.

Don't fall to the ground with a thump (that's Bill's job!). I see constant improvement in your films, sometimes we have to take a step back to take a step forward. Learn from the comments and kick ass in the next fest.
:beer:

[Lbab]

agreed

[JaceBrownlow]

After all the hullabaloo I'm kind of afraid of posting my thoughts...but what the hell. I have to completey agree with Lawrie's review of the film. The thing that killed it for me was the high shutter speed and ADR, it made it uncomfortable to watch...that said, it was great in the fighting scene as I think you want to be on edge for that (like in "Saving Private Ryan"). The story has been done and is based in fact going back to the civil war, but it needed a fresh treatment IMHO. Death scene over the top? ...yes, but I've seen much worse. To be honest, dialogue considered, I didn't know if you were trying to be funny there or not. Still a good film and stand-up effort.


I'd like to respond to this comment of yours. It might seem true, but in reality it's not. It all comes down to the story not the lack of equipment or crew. This is the first fest I chose NOT to enter since 2008 (9 entries total to date) and all my films are a 'one man band' deal...there's just me and if I'm lucky, I can get one of the actors to hold a boom when they're not in a scene...or maybe I can have them bring one of their kids along to help out. In all those entries...over all those years...not even one of them placed. Did I think that correct? Was I offened at the ripping some of them recieved? Did it hurt my feelings with all the hard work, personal funding & hours I put into what I thought was a good film?

Hell's Yeah! :)
(I kid) You need a very thick skin and everyone will have a different opinion. Not all the comments you receive are correct, mearly someone's opinion to be taken with a grain of salt. You need to just keep doing what you're doing and be true to yourself...make your films for you. Lawrie is probably the most honest reviewer here and is not afraid to step on a toe (or two...or ten!), but that's the best way to learn. When a baby bird is ready to fly, it is pushed out of the nest to fall to the ground with a thump or fly forward in it's life.

Don't fall to the ground with a thump (that's Bill's job!). I see constant improvement in your films, sometimes we have to take a step back to take a step forward. Learn from the comments and kick ass in the next fest.
:beer:

thanks man, I appreciate the feedback :) I do agree with the high shutter speed, I was trying to mimic saving private ryan which kept it throughout. But it doesnt work as well on dslrs.
Sorry about all the hullabaloo I caused today, I hope I havnt made any enemies! Feeling a little down so I act weird in that state, no excuse for being a butt through :/

[Matthew B]

I won't echo the criticisms, but I will say this definitely wasn't boring. Very ambitious for such a low budget.

[krestofre]

Locations, costumes, and the overall "look" of the film was fantastic. Acting was pretty good too. I think a couple of more script revisions to tighten the story would have helped, but overall a good effort.

The most important thing here is Zaza's post. It looks like you've taken it to heart and his advice will help you going forward more than any critique or opinion on the film itself. :)

[Russell Moore]

I enjoyed the action scenes. Very ambitious and you really got some nice shots(no pun intended) :)

I echo whats already been stated about the dialogue. Perhaps some of the exposition or setting up the fact that they are brothers could've been handled in the beginning instead of giving us a rundown of their rations etc. When they finally met at the end, they just seemed like strangers to me and it carried no real dramatic punch as I was not personally invested in the characters.
Granted I know the time limit for the film would make it difficult to fit it in, maybe something as simple as...we see they both carry the same family photo.

Technically the audio was off for me, don't know if that was on my end or not.

I really liked the look of it and the camera movement.
The action sequence rocked and I am more than impressed that you pulled this off in the time that you did. Hell...I'd have been impressed with it regardless.
Good luck in the fest.

[AJ Brooks]

Cool stuff Jace!

I loved the authenticity that Jared lent to the production.

Since I know you in person, I know your style more than I would had I only viewed your film.

That said I think you should embrace the quirkiness and style of humor that finds itself in your work. This entry seemed to push toward a more serious tone, as with the two brothers opposing one another. I don't feel like you fully embraced that scene as a serious dramatic scene because I don't think you truly wanted the weight of what that moment could really have been. But yet it wasn't pushed into the fun campy style which I know you like to delve. It fell somewhere in between the two and came off less effective.

Just a thought, that I encourage you to keep that dark sense of humor you have in your work. :)

[JaceBrownlow]

Cool stuff Jace!

I loved the authenticity that Jared lent to the production.

Since I know you in person, I know your style more than I would had I only viewed your film.

That said I think you should embrace the quirkiness and style of humor that finds itself in your work. This entry seemed to push toward a more serious tone, as with the two brothers opposing one another. I don't feel like you fully embraced that scene as a serious dramatic scene because I don't think you truly wanted the weight of what that moment could really have been. But yet it wasn't pushed into the fun campy style which I know you like to delve. It fell somewhere in between the two and came off less effective.

Just a thought, that I encourage you to keep that dark sense of humor you have in your work. :)

thanks man! And yah quirky is a trade of mine, but lately I wanted to try something a bit more serious. But being that it was my first go at drama, I wasnt as happy about it watching it as a whole. I will keep playing with genres until I get to the point where the audience can feel the same way I did when I first imagined how I wanted a dramatic the scene to feel. I will admit, its different adapting something that I didnt write, even though Jared wrote a much better version then I could have, it was still not as connected with this story I usually am with my shorts.

Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg, to me arent just the "generically good hollywood directors". Because they both have a way of blending two or more feelings seamlessly into a balance of light hearted fun, but perfectly complementing that with some very good thrills, and to top it all off ending on touching sentimentality..... not too many other directors do it, they are either too serious, or too goofy. I want to try to get to the point where I can blend two or more feelings in a story without it seeming out of place or campy…. Got a little ways to go, but I will keep working at it. :)

So to reflect on this fest, I definitely learned some good material, figured out mistakes and what I needed to improve on… so in the words of Ed Wood- "Well, my next one will be better!" :)

[EJBinSD]

Given everything said, I really like the opening and the shutter speed. I love a good rock quarrie and this was probably not an easiest place to shoot. Some great shots using shallow depth of field as well.

It was the separation between the action and the talking that seemed like a really big shift to me that slowed things down a little too much and shifted the feel.

[JaceBrownlow]

Given everything said, I really like the opening and the shutter speed. I love a good rock quarrie and this was probably not an easiest place to shoot. Some great shots using shallow depth of field as well.

It was the separation between the action and the talking that seemed like a really big shift to me that slowed things down a little too much and shifted the feel.

Noted, I had a realization the other day going through all my film, they all seem to be that way. They all seem to be an entire feature (all al that goes with it like a vary of emotions and feelings) crammed into 6 mins. But that really only works on a feature when you have more time to develop the story. With shorts, you kinda got to get to the point a lot quicker.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback!

[Hawk Teflon]

Spoiler-y review:

Note: I've intentionally not read any reviews of the shorts until I post mine because I don't want to be swayed one way or another, so there will be plenty of duplication in this, but maybe I can add more:

What I liked: The freaking cast. Looked really good. Also liked the use of the uniforms. At first I didn't understand why the US was fighting the US, but then realized it could be a modern day Civil War. Interesting concept (if that was what it was). The action scenes looked pretty good, too.

What I didn't like as much: The audio. The ADR made it rough. It sounds like it was recorded indoors, but the scene is outside. There's no depth to the voices like there would be sitting in an open area like that. I could be wrong, but it looks like your shutter was a little high for the scenes. For the most part, try to keep your shutter at 2x frame rate or it'll look "too sharp" and jarring. The 50 or 60 (depending on frame rate) will have enough motion blur to look normal. Once the action started, it was alright given the motion and camera moves. I'm sure Doc can take this better than I can, but the sounds of the guns didn't seem accurate to me, and I don't know about guns. So that means that someone that DOES will probably think, "That was a pistol round coming from that AR15." Also, was that guy using a shotgun for distance? It got a little dark in the woods. Could have been from your high shutter. The ending needed a little room to "breathe." It seemed very rushed. Let the scene take place. I know he's dying, but he won't die until you, the director, tell him to. A little silence from speaking won't hurt.

I know I'm heavy on the second half there, but most of those are small changes that can be made, AND they're just my opinion. I definitely think you're getting better. I'm not used to your serious stuff.

[bluemanrocks]

Vivid visuals, fast pacing (until the death scene which felt a little slow to me) and true in-the-moment/action WAR. A different approach from the rest of the fest (which actually surprises me, that more didn't go for the wham-bam-pow feel) and refreshing in that respect. I also think it suffered a little bit from middleground-edness: it was like super crazy action flick but then also as if somebody tried to jam a poignant story in at the end, and it all happened so suddenly that I was left a bit confused. I don't mean that one need focus on either purely action or purely story, but I think a more consistent narrative direction/tone would've helped me out. Still, loved the truly action-packed-ness of this short!!

[JaceBrownlow]

Vivid visuals, fast pacing (until the death scene which felt a little slow to me) and true in-the-moment/action WAR. A different approach from the rest of the fest (which actually surprises me, that more didn't go for the wham-bam-pow feel) and refreshing in that respect. I also think it suffered a little bit from middleground-edness: it was like super crazy action flick but then also as if somebody tried to jam a poignant story in at the end, and it all happened so suddenly that I was left a bit confused. I don't mean that one need focus on either purely action or purely story, but I think a more consistent narrative direction/tone would've helped me out. Still, loved the truly action-packed-ness of this short!!

thanks for the feedback! :)

[JaceBrownlow]

Spoiler-y review:

Note: I've intentionally not read any reviews of the shorts until I post mine because I don't want to be swayed one way or another, so there will be plenty of duplication in this, but maybe I can add more:

What I liked: The freaking cast. Looked really good. Also liked the use of the uniforms. At first I didn't understand why the US was fighting the US, but then realized it could be a modern day Civil War. Interesting concept (if that was what it was). The action scenes looked pretty good, too.

What I didn't like as much: The audio. The ADR made it rough. It sounds like it was recorded indoors, but the scene is outside. There's no depth to the voices like there would be sitting in an open area like that. I could be wrong, but it looks like your shutter was a little high for the scenes. For the most part, try to keep your shutter at 2x frame rate or it'll look "too sharp" and jarring. The 50 or 60 (depending on frame rate) will have enough motion blur to look normal. Once the action started, it was alright given the motion and camera moves. I'm sure Doc can take this better than I can, but the sounds of the guns didn't seem accurate to me, and I don't know about guns. So that means that someone that DOES will probably think, "That was a pistol round coming from that AR15." Also, was that guy using a shotgun for distance? It got a little dark in the woods. Could have been from your high shutter. The ending needed a little room to "breathe." It seemed very rushed. Let the scene take place. I know he's dying, but he won't die until you, the director, tell him to. A little silence from speaking won't hurt.

I know I'm heavy on the second half there, but most of those are small changes that can be made, AND they're just my opinion. I definitely think you're getting better. I'm not used to your serious stuff.

thanks for the review! Yes, we didnt actually have a sound person on the team as they hard to drop out at the last minute, we had to learn as we went along. Most of it audio right off the camera so it sounded a little scratchy. hopefully next time we'll have a sound team with us

[Zach Olson]

Jace! I love the idea of the 2nd Civil War. The fight scene was great and the bad commander was well cast. All of your locations are beautiful! Minor gripe but facial hair for someone in the US military... Your film was pushing the limit (6 minutes) on the time. We got right away with the "Conner?" line that these two guys know each other. After Robbie gets shot there should have been hardly any dialog. Something like, "Robbie? Robbie!" Shakes him a bit. Robbie, "It's OK baby brothe..." Conner, "No, no. No!" He holds him, tears flowing down face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry big brother, I'm sorry." Or something like that. More showing, less talking. That would have told us everything we needed to know. I think it would have also helped show the dynamic difference in the "good" side and the "bad" side. Gives the younger brother a chance for redemption. Instead of killing him at the end it may have been better to have him stop, realize Robbie is gone, take his patch or dog tags, stand, and say, "Not in vain." (ok, that line would need more work but you get the idea.) Overall great entry! Looking forward to whatever you produce next!

[JaceBrownlow]

Jace! I love the idea of the 2nd Civil War. The fight scene was great and the bad commander was well cast. All of your locations are beautiful! Minor gripe but facial hair for someone in the US military... Your film was pushing the limit (6 minutes) on the time. We got right away with the "Conner?" line that these two guys know each other. After Robbie gets shot there should have been hardly any dialog. Something like, "Robbie? Robbie!" Shakes him a bit. Robbie, "It's OK baby brothe..." Conner, "No, no. No!" He holds him, tears flowing down face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry big brother, I'm sorry." Or something like that. More showing, less talking. That would have told us everything we needed to know. I think it would have also helped show the dynamic difference in the "good" side and the "bad" side. Gives the younger brother a chance for redemption. Instead of killing him at the end it may have been better to have him stop, realize Robbie is gone, take his patch or dog tags, stand, and say, "Not in vain." (ok, that line would need more work but you get the idea.) Overall great entry! Looking forward to whatever you produce next!

Thanks man! Appreciate the feedback!
And all the writing came from my brother who wrote this from his experience in Iraq/Afghanistan, I just sort of directed what he wrote. I will pass on your notes to him :)

[Charli]

Concept of a second civil war, good one, however, don't think it was well executed as I couldn't really tell one group from another. If such a thing were to occur, I do believe there would be a stark difference in modern age on the costumes. Having said that however, you did acquire quite a few believable costumes and weapons.

I am not a fan of the battle sequence because honestly, you couldn't really "see" what was going on. You filmed a soldier shooting a machine gun, for all I know he could have aimed at the trees. I didn't "feel" the battle. While many here say it's ambitious, you still have to "show us" the story.

First victim took a piss, sunglasses on top of his head. On the ground his sunglasses were on. How does that happen? Small details are sooo important.

Death scene, you should have shot the guy in the arms, legs, whatever, then may-be (and that's not a likely maybe) I would have believed he could have spouted all of that dialogue while bleeding out. Shoot him in the chest and uh, he got off a TREMENDOUS amount of dialogue. Didn't work for me.

Stereotypical bad-ass SGT. also didn't work for me.

Good concept. Good props. Good costumes (for the most part). Story lacking.

[JaceBrownlow]

Concept of a second civil war, good one, however, don't think it was well executed as I couldn't really tell one group from another. If such a thing were to occur, I do believe there would be a stark difference in modern age on the costumes. Having said that however, you did acquire quite a few believable costumes and weapons.

I am not a fan of the battle sequence because honestly, you couldn't really "see" what was going on. You filmed a soldier shooting a machine gun, for all I know he could have aimed at the trees. I didn't "feel" the battle. While many here say it's ambitious, you still have to "show us" the story.



First victim took a piss, sunglasses on top of his head. On the ground his sunglasses were on. How does that happen? Small details are sooo important.

Death scene, you should have shot the guy in the arms, legs, whatever, then may-be (and that's not a likely maybe) I would have believed he could have spouted all of that dialogue while bleeding out. Shoot him in the chest and uh, he got off a TREMENDOUS amount of dialogue. Didn't work for me.

Stereotypical bad-ass SGT. also didn't work for me.

Good concept. Good props. Good costumes (for the most part). Story lacking.


the tricky thing about the production was, it took place in an environment were actual shooting was going on as it was a real shooting range, and they didnt like us being there. So we were forced to rush through it as best as we could while also not getting shot ourselves :p so we didnt have time to pay attention to the little details. If I had a week to shoot this thing it would have been a lot better.
We had 0 budget, all the costumes were found from friends, and the guns were my brother who is an actual veteran (he also wrote the story/script)
Dialog was our weak point as none of us had done anything like this before. But we learned a lot from the reviews.


In general I think we did pretty good for what little we had to work with, and I thank you for the review! :)