"Classified Intelligence": Take 2--My Undead film...

[Elton]

So,

Here is the thread from my abortive attempt at entering ThrillFest from last year with "Classified Intelligence":

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?222932-quot-Classified-quot-Elton-amp-Charli-Production&highlight=Classified

I made a TON of mistakes , both technical and aesthetic in trying to "one-man-band" the production. Had a ton of people drop out on me, had to fire an actor, etc, and still tried to salvage it... but given my ambitions it was more than I could pull off. I didn't even come close to shooting everything I needed.

This time I am going to do it right--or at least far better than last year. I am re-shooting it and hoping to simply direct and not worry about camera and sound, etc. A small crew will be far better than just me.

And NOW I know what I need and what I don't.

The weather changes quickly in Utah, particularly October. I'm shooting in September before it gets too chilly at night. A big part of the film takes place in a night exterior.

Lots of work ahead, but I want to see it through cuz it's a fun piece!

Will update the film's progress accordingly.


Thanks,

Elton

[Elton]

Some BTS grabs from the final shoot tonight.

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41967&d=1319184044
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41969&d=1319184236
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41970&d=1319184248

[Elton]

Some new grabs--more to come


http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41859&d=1318976691
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41855&d=1318976686
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41858&d=1318976690
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41857&d=1318976689

[Elton]

Special thanks to Matt for the poster from last year. Awesome work! Will keep it for the time being until I have new footage.

[Matt Harris]

LOL, I just got your PM Elton. I was totally going to ask you what happened to this short? Glad to see you are giving it another shot!

[Elton]

Thanks Matt, just gonna be way more efficient and not make the same mistakes. The goal is to get across the finish line with an enjoyable film.

[Curtis_Rhoads]

Yeah, I'm gonna watch him make all new mistakes this time out! :grin: Of course, I'm probably gonna be right there helping out this time around, so I guess the mistakes would be ours, and not just his.

This is getting confusing, I'm gonna go back to reading scripts.

[Elton]

Coconut Banger numero uno!!

38886

[Hawk Teflon]

Very cool! Looking forward to it!

[Charli]

Elton talks about making a lot of mistakes, don't buy into it. He made a few mistakes, that's all. You go Elton!

[Elton]

Oh, you mean like tearing out the last three pages of the script and making up a new, improvised ending because my actors can't make it back to do pick-ups and it's getting too damn cold. Or, well, the list goes on for a while. :-)

Doth I protest too much?

[Charli]

I can't believe that actor walked out in the middle of a project. That was so uncool.

[Noel Evans]

Good luck Elton. Look forward to the full and complete version.

[Elton]

Thanks Noel! Would love to see you jump in the fray.

I dug 'Deadline' from last year--wish I had your DP skillz.

[Rodney V. Smith]

Welcome Elton. Just keep moving forward!

[Matt Harris]

make this movie Elton, and make my poster proud. :)

[Elton]

Thanks Rodney, thanks Matt! In the midst of recasting the male lead...again. Gotta love itBtw Matt, what are you up to? I get the feeling you're sneaking another one in. Hope so...

[ZazaCast]

Updates....?????

[Elton]

Hey Zaza! Will have a film to show, one way or another. (NOT an out take gag this time) Will possibly have to go exhibition but am still trying to reshoot. Yeah, I know, fat chance.

Haven't dropped out at all, but am hastily arranging help.

This will be more like a 48 hr fest gauntlet for me but it'll be fun to show it and hope to at least get some feedback if it's exhibition only.

[thetvirus513]

Good luck I hope things start going your way, from your previous thread and this one I really want to see the product of all your work!

[Elton]

Thanks! Will have a film for everyone's critical bloodlust.

I need those lashings!!

[Elton]

New Grabs:

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41859&d=1318976691
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41855&d=1318976686
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41858&d=1318976690
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41857&d=1318976689

[Elton]

cont.

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41862&d=1318977009
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41861&d=1318976694
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41856&d=1318976687
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41854&d=1318976685

[ZazaCast]

Nice grabage! Can't wait to see this one!!

[thetvirus513]

Looking Good!

[Matt Harris]

Elton those are gorgeous shots. I love the costumes, the car, the time of dusk you shot at, the location... this looks cinematic!

[Elton]

Thanks Matt--my hope is it really does feel cinematic. Not always easy no matter how great the tech.

Final shoot tomorrow afternoon! Got a fun toy to play with this time.

[ZazaCast]

Got a fun toy to play with this time.
...that might be just a little TOO much personal information! :happy:

[Matt Harris]

crane shot time!

[Elton]

crane shot time!

41935

[Elton]

In the can!! Marathon day today, but I think I have an actual film now. Post is now post haste. :-) I'll make it.I actually had a very small crew, and it made a huge difference. At least I didn't have to run sound again...barely. Special thanks to my good friend Curtis Rhoads for being an incredible help.Some BTS pics from Mary's hubby who grabbed my T3i and snapped a few.http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41967&d=1319184044http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41969&d=1319184236http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41970&d=1319184248Ungraded grab from today.http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=41968&d=1319184066Much more to come.

[ZazaCast]

Congrats!

[Elton]

My only friends until Oct 28th, 4pm PST: http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=42095&d=1319409579

[Rodney V. Smith]

congrats dude. nice looking footage.

[Matt Harris]

that crane looks huge! what camera did you use for this short?

[Elton]

@ Rodney--Thanks! Happy with the look of it, just hoping the piece is effective.

@ Matt--Kessler crane with 6ft extension. 18 ft total. :-) My friend uses it for high school football games a lot. Helped shoot a bunch of games this year, so kind of earned the favor.

Film is a mix of the 5DMKII and FS100.

[AJ Brooks]

Sweet! Looking good, looking good.

[Matt Harris]

2 heavy hitters in terms of cameras in my book, the grabs are top notch.

[Charli]

Post production team special shout out to:

Shaun Casin - original music & score

Alan H. Chang - for agreeing to do sound mix/design at this 11th hour (almost)


Jeremy Romero - for helping with FX scene

[Alan H. Chang]

Prep'n session in the wee hour.

[ZazaCast]

Post production team special shout out to:

Shaun Casin - original music & score

Alan H. Chang - for agreeing to do sound mix/design at this 11th hour (almost)


Jeremy Romero - for helping with FX scene

Hey now..... forgetting anyone? :happy:

[Elton]

Hey now..... forgetting anyone? :happy:

No way! Big love for the Zaza too! Seriously, thank you so much for your help.

[Charli]

Oh Zaza, never forget you sweet pea! We should skype again soon.

[ZazaCast]

Oh Zaza, never forget you sweet pea! We should skype again soon.
Sweet pea? What happened to McDreamy? :happy:

[Charli]

@ZaZa - you've been replaced, but I forgot by who - lol. I'll tell you one thing, you have the coolest rock star hairdo on the planet!

[ZazaCast]

@ZaZa - you've been replaced, but I forgot by who - lol. I'll tell you one thing, you have the coolest rock star hairdo on the planet!

Note to mods: How is it you "unfriend" people in here? :nads:

[Charli]

Ha ha ha

[Alan H. Chang]

YES!!! Finally resolved it!

[Elton]

Alright! What's that mean?

[Alan H. Chang]

Alright! What's that mean?

It means I want to get your attention. It worked!

[Charli]

You got our attention and we are bugged eye.

[Charli]

A special "shout out" to Doc Benard who lit a fire for us. Thanks, buddy!

[ZazaCast]

How goes the battle? Are we almost there?

[Elton]

Rounding the bend! Sweatin' bullets but seeing the light.

[Charli]

Special shout out to ZaZa Films for music coordination and for use of his licensed sound effects - love you McDreamy!!!!

Special shout out to Justin Durban for the original score at the 11th hour - thanks so much!

And a huge hug to Elton who's been editing since 4am last night. You go, bro!

[Charli]

Special shout to Matt Harris for the font for title of film, very nice indeed in placement. Thank you, Matt!

[Doc Bernard]

A special "shout out" to Doc Benard who lit a fire for us. Thanks, buddy!

That's what Producers are for, LOL! See how sneaky I am? Just kidding. And no problem. I like playing with fire.

[Matt Harris]

i'm happy to be a part of team chelton!

[Rodney V. Smith]

You guys feeling the burn yet or did you start the upload? I don't want to be the only one!

[Matt Harris]

personally, i'm uploading in 30 mins. nothing like a tight deadline.

[Charli]

Who's chelton?

[Matt Harris]

charlie + elton, like bennifer and brangelina. :)

[Charli]

@ LOL, uh, my hubby's name is "Shelton" try another please.

@ Rodney - we are not burning, we have sweated into a pool of liquid goo...

[Matt Harris]

oops! that's pretty funny actually.

[ZazaCast]

Special shout out to ZaZa Films for music coordination and for use of his licensed sound effects - love you McDreamy!!!!


http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn91/zazacast/asskiss.gif


:2vrolijk_08:

[Alan H. Chang]

You guys feeling the burn yet or did you start the upload? I don't want to be the only one!

Don't even bring it up ...

[AJ Brooks]

Don't even bring it up ...

Nooooooo.... :(

[Alan H. Chang]

Nooooooo.... :(

Any way you slice and dice it, it's in Alan's Wonderland. It'll be there for you to watch.

[Elton]

He claims no Red Bull. Bull. Heh

[Rodney V. Smith]

He claims no Red Bull. Bull. Heh
I claim Clone Army! it's the only way he's still awake: he's not the same him!

[Alan H. Chang]

The only thing I ate today was a bowl of Cheerios and just recently cooked up some ravioli. Last night was intense.

[Alan H. Chang]

I claim Clone Army! it's the only way he's still awake: he's not the same him!

Would you like to meet Alice? She's my inner twin!

[Charli]

Elton just went to bed. Stayed up all night to fix audio issues with Alan.

We are "exhibition only" short since we used footage from last year. We were not able to reshoot the entire film due to scheduling of same actors. Pick up shots came out nice.

Jeremy went above and beyond duty in helping with the overall look of the film.

[Matt Harris]

glad you guys got it in, despite struggles!

[SimpleTwist]

Who is this Jeremy guy?
Never heard of him in the forums before. :happy:

[Elton]

He's a righteous dude!

[Charli]

It's official, Elton and I are both zombies. Post production race to get in was a sweat-fest unto itself. I want to thank Doc for taking my call so late after he got home from being on set all day. For Hawk being ready to help with whatever I needed at a late hour his time. I want to thank Matt for returning my call through pm after hearing the haste in my voice.

With this wonderful community of people ready to help in time of need Elton and I didn't go undead, again. Thanks so much for your support.

It was so worth it!

Elton, dude, you are my bro and I LOVE working with you!

[Elton]

With this wonderful community of people ready to help in time of need Elton and I didn't go undead, again. Thanks so much for your support.

It was so worth it!

What the chuckster said. :-)

[Hawk Teflon]

SPOILER REVIEW: (Do not read unless you have watched the short)

I am SO glad you were able to finish this and bring life to it. Beautiful work!

What I liked: The shots! Gorgeous crane shots, great coloring, amazing landscaping! The clothes, the car, the camera, the dialogue brought me back to an era I've never lived in myself. I liked the way the flashlight was stopped by the UFO. Really added depth to it. The music fit great, the radio sounded great, and the dialogue was clean. I really felt immersed in this one. Great job to you and the entire crew that worked on it.

What I didn't like as much: A couple of shots I think that could have been pulled, but that's nitpicking. It was also a little hard to hear Penny when the radio was on. I also don't like that this was exhibition only.

Favorite shot: Opening shot. Very very nice!

[SimpleTwist]

SPOILER REVIEW: (Do not read unless you have watched the short)
What I didn't like as much: A couple of shots I think that could have been pulled, but that's nitpicking. It was also a little hard to hear Penny when the radio was on. I also don't like that this was exhibition only.


Please state the shots - we'd like to hear the feedback good and bad.
Thanks
-Unknown DVXuser :-P

[Alan H. Chang]

What I didn't like as much: A couple of shots I think that could have been pulled, but that's nitpicking. It was also a little hard to hear Penny when the radio was on. I also don't like that this was exhibition only.


Good to hear some feedback so soon. We had different versions of the radio in authenticity, but finally resorted back to an almost original where we needed to hear what the radio was saying, thus, loosening the car radio speaker effect and giving more low and high fqy back. Glad you enjoyed this. We, too, wanted this to be more than exhibition.

[thetvirus513]

REVIEW!

Wow this one got my heart racing once things started to really develop.

What I loved - I just LOVE the fact that you are able to sell this complete story, with a car, an old camera, and good costuming, very very well done. Your wide shots were stunning, and your story was good overall. I also REALLY liked the shots in the rearview mirror, very well done. The radio broadcast and what we see of the alien(s) was very cool.

What I didn't like as much - I really only had two faults with this one and neither are huge/ or even bad. First, the ADR seemed just a tad off to me. I am however very critical when it comes to this stuff, and I really only noticed it in the beginning dialogue for the most part. Second, I loved being able to watch it in the timeframe that it was, but I really think you have something longer than 6 minutes and I would really like to see this thing developed a little more. Obviously that isn't really a bad thing, I just want/feel like there should be more.

As with some other people I'm bummed this was exhibition, but this was really well done and I enjoyed it a ton!

[Doc Bernard]

Who is this Jeremy guy?
Never heard of him in the forums before. :happy:

Oh NO!!!!!!!! There goes the neighborhood............. LOL........... Welcome, bro!

[Elton]

Truly appreciate the feedback guys. I will comment on the comments after I've watched everybody's films.

Bottom line: It's full of flaws but my ambition was to evoke a time and a place, and feel like the story takes you somewhere. I really wish I was able to put on the beret and be a better performance director. Doing the rebel without a crew thing kinda cost me my ability to focus on nuances when I was racing to get so many things shot before it was dark.

[Alan H. Chang]

Wow! Now that I actually see all the VFX shots, your guy rocks!

[Charli]

So glad to hear you guys didn't want this as an exhibition. Again, the rules clearly state the film has to be shot within the time frame of the festival. We had to use shots from last year. Elton and I are adhering to this festival rule.

We will be re-editing this short next week for film festivals. It will be about 7-8 minutes long, so we do understand it felt too short but we were adhering to the 6 minute rule even though we were exhibition.

Please be detailed in your feedback in all aspects because we will be taking note of consistent irks on the film. If we can fix it in post, we will. We will have a different leader, different intro to music, longer 2nd act & 3rd act.

So please, feel free to NIT PICK. This is very important to us. Thank you guys so much.

[Hawk Teflon]

I'll give a more detailed review tonight.

[Charli]

Hawk - cool, send it to me by email if you can, please.

[Chris_Keaton]

I think the chit chat was a little flat and the whole secret agent thing seemed to come from a different time period as the car and the mannerisms. I guess that is probably hard to nail down. Loved the UFO and even the glimpse of creature. I'm wondering if you thought of tossing some of its shadow over the girl when she screams? Overall nice job.

[Sunk99]

Time piece - ambitious for a short. Liked the way he checked out her butt - real. Sound muffled - Lavs? Good color.
Nice crane as the car drives away. The radio shouldn't cut on/off by itself. Car antenna modern short. What was on the trunk - appeared wet?
It's light out and he's using a flashlight? Radical lighting change on boom shot down on her then to him. Whoa, whoa. He didn't notice the spaceship in the light?
Cool CGI BTW. Darker yet at the car. Looks like we went from 4pm to midnight. Cool monster legs and crane shot at him.
Fun flick. Needed explanation how he knew where and why. I didn't see secret agent - everyone used to dress like him.
A bit more story would have made this really fun. Good job.

[Elton]

What I didn't like as much - I really only had two faults with this one and neither are huge/ or even bad. First, the ADR seemed just a tad off to me. I am however very critical when it comes to this stuff, and I really only noticed it in the beginning dialogue for the most part.!

Thanks for the review! Actually, there is very little ADR. The entire driving scenes are with a mic mounted in different spots in the car, and me riding in back filming, and trying to monitor audio at the same time. I think there may have been a slip of sync by a frame or two from the encoding. Don't know why, but I did notice a slight drift that I wasn't sure how to fix. The master file and Blu-ray don't have the issue. What IS a problem is the low end rumble ambience from the motor, which there wasn't enough to time to properly 'fix it in post'. Working on that now.

Audio clarity certainly was an issue and I plan to iron it out before screening at a local fest.


@ Chris--Yeah, I don't think I pulled off the dialog as well as I should've. I am also looking to cut certain shots. I think it may feel more interesting if I don't show anything at all to do with Penny's abduction. Thanks for the critique!

@ Sunk--Lots of work to do on sound. It simply needed far more than we had time to do. Also needs a proper color correction treatment to deal with exposure issues. (another thing I am looking for help on. Not my specialty) This was a problem I had shooting so much of it with fading light. I really only had one or two takes on a majority of shots, and nobody to tell me when I'm screwing up. Had a ton of help from Jeremy who fixed some embarrassing things I tried as practical effects on a few shots. That guy is a phenomenal compositor.

Didn't want to explain much, and I know I probably blew it in the suspense department. Still learning.

Thanks guys!

[Alan H. Chang]

Alan here on the post side of things.

Time was literally up against us to the last minute and even well past the deadline. My first pass of the dialogue isolation from the low rumble of the engine was detailed and done precisely to not interfere with the body of the dialogue. If I actually upload this version and have everyone drop it into their timeline, you'll hear what I'm talking about. The engine was literally removed almost completely for dialogue editorial. You would have thought the entire movie was ADR'ed, but we decided it wasn't fitting in correctly and had to loosen up the engine removal roughly 20% all the while letting the engine kick in 80% of the time. The dialogue was muffled due to the engine and I did my best to mix it for clarity, but had to roll back yet again for other decisive purposes.

I noticed that the last shot with the alien swooping up the main character was off-sync. This was probably due to lots of picture changes during editorial. Roughly 5 or 6 cuts were made and the last 3 minutes of the film were delivered to be edited Friday morning w/o VFX included. The VFX sequences looked wonderful, but had a different time position than the original cut thus moving my alien sequence ahead of time by a second or two.

The off-sync with the dialogue must have been a Premier thing. I work with a couple of editors whose primary NLE is Premier and every time there's a sync drift. Both Elton and I chatted regarding this and hopefully wouldn't come up, but I guess it managed to creep its way out.

The radio was originally edited to sound very authentic to the way you would hear in an old car speaker system, but I was told that the message couldn't be interpreted and had to roll back more of the lows and highs to keep the message delivered to the audience. I wanted to cut a sound of the radio being turned off by either Penny or Richard because it was already awkward to have the radio come up and go out suddenly during mid-conversation, but none of the visuals provided that kind of cue or establishment.

Everything was shot beautifully and wished this was an entry of competition. Law-abiding filmmakers.

[Matt Harris]

"Law-abiding filmmakers."

Yeah you guys shoulda just lied and said you reshot everything. :) No, I'm kidding. It's just good that you entered, even at non-compete level.
My full review is coming up soon.

I just wanted to tell Alan that, as a sound guy myself, I know you've been juggling a lot this fest
and i read your whole post, i feel for you man. If I make any comments about sound in my review,
they are to be taken as "ideas", not criticism.

The good thing is that this fest is just the beginning
for y'all and you can always make changes in the weeks to come for your festival run, which I am
sure you guys are going to do well in.

[Alan H. Chang]

No worries Matt.

I felt that Elton had a lot more pressure than I did since he was the Captain steering our ship. Any comments, criticism, ideas are all welcome.

[Charli]

We'll turn off the radio during our next pass at editing. We'll also speed up the speedometer. My son is a car buff and he said, "Mom, the car isn't moving" -- but it was, albeit slowly, so the speedometer looks like it's at zero. Only a car buff would catch that.

Thanks for the comments and keep them coming. Only way we'll know what to fix in post.

[Chris_Keaton]

I thought the speedo was just broken. :)

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Interesting story but I had some issues with it.
They're newlyweds, we get it. Between all the marriage stuff it was over a minute until we started getting to the good stuff. Not a big deal but if I was watching on the web, I may have tuned out.

The radio got me interested. Good stuff. The fact that he left the trunk open seemed oddly careless. Was this done by accident? If so, I would prefer a shot of him closing it, walking away, and seeing it click open just a little. I honestly thought he didn't close it on purpose.

Put down the camera! He's already told you not to film him and to stay in the car. I'm fine with her getting out, she's bored. But to grab the camera too? She's just trying to aggravate the guy at this point and he seems to have a short fuse.

Loved the look of this film. Sound was spotty in a few places but the look and feel of this was great!
Nice edit too.

Not sure where the green light came from but I'll assume it was cast off from the alien creature.

It still felt slightly unfinished. You guys have been working on this for a while so maybe I expected more.
It's good, don't get me wrong. But fine tune this baby up and move on.

I want to see the finished version. That's a good thing.

[Charli]

I think in another shot she went back to the back of the trunk, that was cut out. The longer version will be in more detail. Glad you want to see more, MAH, always a good sign.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

It's not that. I don't need to see her going back to the trunk. I need to see him closing it. Or at least what looks like a real attempt to close it.
As is it really looks like he's leaving it open. On purpose.

It can be fixed I'm sure.

Cheers,

[taylormade]

I like this one. The period, the clothes, the cars. You put a lot of thought and time into the look and it paid off.
The acting seemed a little stiff, not horrible, but it could have been better. The performances were hurt by the mix in the car. It sounds dubbed, not like they are actually in the car talking.
I know you only have six minutes, but it seemed odd that this guy would make a quick stop on his honeymoon to check out a UFO. As it stands, it seems like two stories in one with neither really connecting.
I loved the shots, the lighting, the landscapes. Nice use of the crane.
The shot of the UFO was a little hard to make out. This may be due to the compression but my wife didn't get it and I had to watch it twice before I could really make out the disk and see what it really was. I'd like to see this shot up a little longer. The flashlight playing on it was great, but I ended up watching the light and missing the UFO.

Overall a real solid entry and one of my favorites.

[Elton]

It's not that. I don't need to see her going back to the trunk. I need to see him closing it. Or at least what looks like a real attempt to close it.
As is it really looks like he's leaving it open. On purpose.

It can be fixed I'm sure.

Cheers,

Hah, clever MAH. Nothing gets past you. ;-)

OK, full disclosure. On that 'left open trunk shot', I was getting to the point where my actors needed to leave in a couple of hours, so I basically ripped up the last three pages of the script (Charli just loooves it when I do that) and improvised an alternate ending. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do pickups anytime soon and it was going to snow in a few days. (yes, Utah is like that in October) Basically, just trying to have some kind of film in the can.

Very cliche'--something is in the trunk when she gets back to the car. Opens it, screams, BAM, camera on the ground with scarf falling on it. What I filmed was kinda funny, but not very effective so I scrapped it. (on a side note, just after shooting her scream moment, I jumped into the HUGE Chevy trunk with mic and recorder and got a lot of funny foley) Glad no one decided to play a prank and go driving with me in it. (although sound might've been killer, haha)

I had tried to make it look like he just didn't give it a good thwunk to close it, and leave me an opening for an alternative abduction. hehe

No conspiracy, just my clumsiness. :-)

[Chris Messineo]

I haven't read the other reviews - these are just my thoughts.

I loved the look of this. Wonderful master shots (although if I'm not mistaken you repeat the shot of them driving past the same tree). I also really love the style of the film. I thought both your actors were very good. I liked the music too, but I wish it felt a bit more period in style (like the film).

I'm just not sure I get the story here. It feels like a snippet from something much larger. I have so many unanswered questions, in the end it was intriguing, but I don't know how satisfying it was.

[Charli]

Thank you, Chris. It's homage to that period and of course to "War of the Worlds." Thank you for watching.

[Mobie540]

Great car, great wardrobe. Not sure if the actors were quite age appropriate. I liked the dynamic between husband and wife. The cgi was good also...so quick though but that worked. Overall I think you did a great job.

So the radio audio was the actual Orson Wells broadcast b/c I was like 'whoa, how did they get a v/o like that and then how did they tweak the audio!'

[Noel Evans]

Im doing quick reviews.

Elton - great job on the time period. The clothes, the car, the fields - I was whisked away. Felt great. I would have loved if she nonchalantly lost a scarf as the car flew by and it drifted (in slow mo) - me rambling and probably too romantic - but I only felt that because the feel was just right.

There were a few components that felt a little rushed or last minute - I know that feeling.

My biggest gripe was the opening discussion was pure backstory. And, this is probably just my perception, but a special agent or "spook" wouldnt tell his superior "spooks" he's eloping? I mean theres no cell phones you couldnt just drop off the face of the earth? But to cover that he said "the office sent me a wire before he left the hotel", so they must have know what he's doing - MY point - he just got married, send someone else? And so Ok lets say theres no one else. Why on earth would you take your new bride?

I felt like I was being fed information and at times other bits of information to cover a question that could arise.

Small things overall however.

[Charli]

Noel - no, it's all good. We can't change the story in post, however, is only problem. The office would know he got married, but no one is allowed from the agency to tell their wives they're spies, he however broke that rule which reveals something about him. The wire, the way things were communicated back then through Western Union, just wanted him to go check something out.

He stated they get pranks all the time. The home office didn't consider it something "important" but something that needed to be looked into. Of course the home office would know where he was, hence if you go with that assumption, it would make sense for him to look into it.

There's a fine line between too much exposition and not enough in a short. It's a hit and miss. I either gave you enough or not enough. I mostly hoped you would "assume" most of it.

As for the scarf, yeah, I asked for a "scarf in the wind" on the second pass of filming, but Elton ran out of sun. The thought was there, though, Noel.

[Charli]

Mobie - for the film festival the radio broadcast will sound better. I'll submit a thread how it all went down.

[Ruben Leija]

This movie is great the best thing since slice bread loved every minute

[Charli]

@Ruben - aw, thank you so much! Thanks for watching.

[Alan H. Chang]

Mobie - for the film festival the radio broadcast will sound better. I'll submit a thread how it all went down.

Keep me updated, Charli. I'm sure Elton is trimming some fat for a new pic change.

[Elton]

(although if I'm not mistaken you repeat the shot of them driving past the same tree).

It was part homage to 'The Flintstones' too. Gotta recycle that background when ya gots no time!

[Dahopafilms]

Yeah OK - being an alien (as least according to Homeland Security), I felt remarkably qualified to provide some comments on this. I have not read the other posts as so forgive me if I am repeating others' views or if I have just got it totally wrong.

Here are the good bits:

The photography was great. Really nice job (I love cranes)
The sound was OK - but I am listening on a pair of crappy built-in laptop speakers so perhaps it was cleaner than it should have been
The snatch and go shot of the alien was terrific - nicely done (but see balancing view, below)
Period pieces are ambitious - hats off (sorry) to you for embarking on this


The are the bits that didn't really grab me:

There were bits of the period "dressing" that I was not too sure about - the length of the man's hair (should have been much shorter - tapered?), the use of a button down collar (too casual? - but then again you cleverly anticipated that comment and swapped it out for an arrow collar part way through - losing continuity in the process) and (I really hate to say it) the car didn't look "new" enough
I lost the ending. There is the reveal shot with the alien and then there is an intervening shot which was almost totally lost on my screen and then the shot of the flashlight dropping. That intermediate shot was totally lost on me - was he running? Dancing? Standing there? Bummed the ending for me (at least on this horrid screen - and remember that there is LOTS of sun here, so it might be the equipment)
It got off to too slow a start. Almost like you fell in love with the car scenes at the expense of the story. You could have gone further faster (story of my life)
Why the "creakiness" of the trunk? It was a new car - should have been pristene - or at least oiled. Lose the closeup shots that show the age of the car - cheat it by keeping further away at the expense of the art shots
Why not work in some reasons for the events - Why the hat? Why take his bride to hunt for an alien (even if the odds of it being a real one were slim)? Why so glum if it was the happiest day of his life (at least for him) ...?
Why was he using the flashlight before it was even dark? That, to me, was weird. Especially after it gets really dark and he's hunting for his bride, the flashlight is off when he returns to the car - at the very moment when presumably he should have wanted it on
The "BUM-BUM" music when we have the POV of the creature seeing the bride was a bit over the top for me - sorry


Having said all of that, let's have more, please.

More cranes. More story. More wheat fields.

Less "BUM-BUM"

Well done.

Best,

(I now drop off these boards for another couple of years. Or until I receive another secret signal that I am needed)

[lawriejaffa]

Elton you've presented this film with great humility, with full recognition of its imperfect state and with a great deal of maturity in listening towards folks critiques of the film and suggestions for improvement.

I don't think there is much more that i can add for the film itself (folks have covered it, the boot scene, odd behavioural traits of the husband/wife) the sumptuous cinematography. Its such a mix of little contradictions and yet it stands out as a unique film in this festival. Great work to your team and i hope the lessons learned from it propel you to kick greater ass on the next movie :)

[Charli]

Dahopa - thank you for taking a break for the severe harsh island lifestyle to comment on this short. Wow! I love your critique. You saw things I missed, but I'm too close to it. Thanks, buddy. You simply rock!

Law - thank you for the comments and for watching. We're hoping to make it tighter these next two weeks.

[L1N3ARX]

Looks like a great flick, would love to see it. When will you post it?