Help/Tips on writing a simple story

[jambredz]

Hey guys...i've been a follower of the fests for some time now and I really like the whole vibe and stuff but I've been kinda fearful for whatever reasons to enter. Anyway I said to myself that i'd try the next fest which happens to be this. The thing is I really don't have alot of help like maybe some of you guys do and the chance to collab with other film makers...also I'd probably only have access to 2 actors (not pros ...but i can work with them and quite likely male) and i'd probably have one person helping as "crew" :)

So that said...do you guys have any tips of writing a story around 2 actors keeping it simple and achievable with one or 2 locations , (knowing i'd be doing most things) . Comedy seems to come natural for me...however i'd like to depart from it for once. (if i cant i'll just lean on that crutch). Here's trailer for a short comedy i did with some friends shot on the dvx100b. Just so u can see something http://vimeo.com/11711178 . I think i'm fully capable ..just a bit afraid to enter.

Zak always has wicked simple stories in like one or 2 locations and its always on point. that is no small acheivement in my book.

[AJ Brooks]

Best simple advice I have to offer,

Tell your story to a few friends/co-workers/family...etc., and if they say "Oh wow, that sounds cool!" ... you have a good start.

If they say "That's interesting, that could be cool..." and have that blank look... go back to the drawing board.

Definitely not true for all cases since some things can only be told through the visual language of film, but in my experience if I can't get people interested when I spend twenty seconds to TELL the story, they will be surely bored to see the five minute shortfilm.

[Zak Forsman]

I just start with two opposing objectives for each character. Character A wants something and we want them to have it. Character B wants something else, not necessarily the opposite, but it conflicts with what Character A wants. On the last two shorts I made, this was the foundation. We used some writing and a lot of improv to flesh out the beats of each scene.

[David W. Richardson]

Simple is best. I've got a humorous short script that has no on-screen characters at all. The whole story is told in messages on 2 people's answering machines. :)

Zak's idea is good. In my script there are two characters who both want the same thing, but somehow just don't seem to be able to get it.

You can have the script if you want it. It's called 'Phone Tag'.

[David W. Richardson]

I like to try to build on a "what if?" For instance....

What would happen if you arrived 10 minutes late for work, and you had no idea why?

What would happen if one day you realized your neighbor's husband was a completely different guy from the guy who's been her husband since you moved in 4 years ago?

What would happen if your GPS suddenly got pissed when you missed a turn?

What if a vampire was afraid of the dark? Or a zombie was a Vegan?

In other words, what if some small, sane part of your normal, everyday life suddenly decided not to be so sane at all?

[zaarc]

You can have the script if you want it. It's called 'Phone Tag'.

id like to see that script. what happens visually, with no people.

[Jordan_S]

^ Two stills oughta be enough. :)

[David W. Richardson]

Sure, you could do it with just a couple of stills, but it would be truly dull.

This is a chance for the filmmaker to show what he can do. Making it visually interesting, without distracting from the characters and their dialogue, is the whole challenge! A good filmmaker could run with this and truly make it shine.

But you already knew that, didn't you? :)

[David W. Richardson]

id like to see that script. what happens visually, with no people.

What happens visually is up to you!

PM me with your email address and I'll send you the script.

[polfilmblog]

"So that said...do you guys have any tips of writing a story around 2 actors keeping it simple and achievable with one or 2 locations ,"


Two man enter. One man leaves.

[David W. Richardson]

Two men enter, one woman leaves.

:D

[David W. Richardson]

Saw an interesting short once where a man and woman woke up together in a motel room. They didn't know each other, didn't know how they got there, the motel was in a town neither had ever been to, and they lived in different cities miles apart. Which condenses down to a "what if?"

What if you woke up in a motel room, in a town you'd never been to, beside a woman you didn't know, and neither of you knew how you got there?

[Mile Bozicevic]

As for tips on writing a short story:

http://alexwhitmer.wordpress.com/

(hope u don't mind Alex)

There are some really nice tips on his site, check around a bit. :]

[jambredz]

lol...interesting reading here. thanks guys

Mile...yeh Alex and i have actually been conversing. He sent me a script thats really good. Also 2 others...but i havent gotten around to them yet. will read them tonight hopefully.

[David W. Richardson]

id like to see that script. what happens visually, with no people.

zaarc, I sent you the script. Did you get a chance to read it?

[David W. Richardson]

Hey folks. A simple request.....if you ask someone to send you their script (or anything else), the very least you can do is let them know you received it. It's just common courtesy.

[Panzer]

Simple is best. I've got a humorous short script that has no on-screen characters at all. The whole story is told in messages on 2 people's answering machines. :)

Zak's idea is good. In my script there are two characters who both want the same thing, but somehow just don't seem to be able to get it.

You can have the script if you want it. It's called 'Phone Tag'.

How coincidental, the other day I was visiting a friend at her work place, they have a room with a computer and an automated calling machine for managing incidences, and the machine was having a conversation with a client without anybody being on the room, it gave me a eerie feeling but also sparked my curiosity about a still life short based on an office.