Joystick Films Presents....."Early Retirement"

[Richard J. Johnson]

Joystick Films And GoldenTiger Productions Present......


"Early Retirement"


Tagline: "Always control the odds"




http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=24276



Directed By: Richard Johnson
Written By: Chris Keaton
Story By: Richard Johnson
Produced By: Corey Williams
Assistant Director: Al Morgan
Assistant Director: Michael Davis
Boom and Sound: Mark Jenifer
Score by: Mark Blasco





Starring Paulie Weidecker


http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=22566


Starring Brian St. August


http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment.php?attachmentid=24275

[Richard J. Johnson]

Reserved

[Richard J. Johnson]

Reserved 2

[Richard J. Johnson]

I tried to stay away but just couldn't. So we are going to try to shoot, edit, CC, and score in 5 days. This deadline is tight even for me.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

I just emailed you today wondering what you have been up to. :)

Good luck in the Fest.

MAH

[ZazaCast]

Awesome! Looking forward to it.

[Charli]

Yep, the fest just reels everyone back in. Good luck!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks MAH. My Phone is dead. You know I'm going to hit you when I get back to the house.:D

[Richard J. Johnson]

Awesome! Looking forward to it.

Thanks Za. It's real simple story. But of course Keaton sprinkled some madness on it.


Yep, the fest just reels everyone back in. Good luck!
And I really tried this time.:tongue:

[kurtmo]

Go go go!

[Chris_Keaton]

5 days and the clock is ticking.

BTW love the avatar. :)

[Darkline]

thats more like it, fest count hotting up. good luck Rich

[Richard J. Johnson]

5 days and the clock is ticking.

BTW love the avatar. :)

Yes it is. No Pressure:Drogar-Kriz(DBG):

Thanks. My son is wild man.



thats more like it, fest count hotting up. good luck Rich

Thanks Darkline! I will need it.:D I can see a 24 hour editing session in my future.

[FDL film music composer]

Hi Richard,
I'm sorry that I'm not in for this round and for your short ..but that deadline is too soon for me ...anyway , good luck for your entry
Best Regards
Francesco


www.centurionrage-records.com (http://www.centurionrage-records.com)

[FDL film music composer]

I Chris ..i read the script ..as always I like it... good luck for all

[FDL film music composer]

5 days and the clock is ticking.


BTW love the avatar. :)


Hi Chris ..i read the script ..as always I like it... good luck for all

[Marlon Ladd]

I see ya,' Rich!!!!! Wish I could come out to play with you guys, too.

[Mike Manning]

Great poster! Did you draw that?

[Richard J. Johnson]

Hi Richard,
I'm sorry that I'm not in for this round and for your short ..but that deadline is too soon for me ...anyway , good luck for your entry
Best Regards
Francesco


www.centurionrage-records.com (http://www.centurionrage-records.com)

It's cool Fracesco. I know you tried to squeeze me in. Totally my fault, jumping in last second and all.


I see ya,' Rich!!!!! Wish I could come out to play with you guys, too.

So do I my friend.


Great poster! Did you draw that?

Thank you. I wish I could draw like that.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Well, We got it done and Mark Blasco did a great job on the score considering he only had 24 hours to do it. He is true professional.

The film is not my best work and I will never try to jump in last minute again. I forgot to shoot a critical reverse and it changed the entire direction of the film. I am really upset at my self for that one. My head just wasnt into it, I can't really explain it. But I'm not one to make excuses I hope everyone enjoys it.:happy: I already know I'm going to hammered this time around:kali:

I just can't wait to the other films. That is always a good time.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Editing can be magical. Keep at it and I bet you'll do wonders.

Best of luck!

MAH

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks MAH. I just got the score back and I'm going all in today for upload tomorrow.

[Noel Evans]

Look forward to seeing your entry as always Richard.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Look forward to seeing your entry as always Richard.

Thanks Noel! I want to see what you came up with as well.

[Jason Sanders]

Ah another Chris Keaton script, should be good. Cant wait. Good luck.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Ah another Chris Keaton script, should be good. Cant wait. Good luck.

Thanks Jason. Keaton only had a few days and I gave him one VERY simple Idea of what I wanted to do and knocked it out. I really enjoy working with him.

[Richard J. Johnson]

These fests are the best!!!!!!

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Where are your grabs already? :)

[AJ Brooks]

Where are your grabs already? :)

2nd that! :)

I really dig the poster though.

[Richard J. Johnson]

2nd that! :)

I really dig the poster though.


Where are your grabs already? :)

Ask and you shall receive............in 15 minutes.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Ask and you shall receive............in 15 minutes.Im holding you to that. Tick tock. :)

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

You're late.


Yah.... I'm stalking you. :evil:

[Richard J. Johnson]

LOL. My computer is Crapping out on me. I'm trying to go through Image shack now.

[Richard J. Johnson]

http://img405.imageshack.us/i/31562367.jpg/

[Richard J. Johnson]

Can you see the image above? because I can't. I really need a new computer.

[AJ Brooks]

It's not showing on mine.

If you're using imageshack, try using the "direct" link.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks AJ. That worked but the Image is Effing HUGE! I will try to resize it. This damn mac is driving my A$$ crazy today.

[Marlon Ladd]

Hey, don't be a MACist!! I won't tolerate that here or anywhere!

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

24767

How's this?

Looks great, BTW.

[Richard J. Johnson]

24767

How's this?

Looks great, BTW.

Thats Great! and thanks. I'm glad someones computer is working.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Hey, don't be a MACist!! I won't tolerate that here or anywhere!


LMFAO!! No comment!

[Darkline]

Hey Rich. I think this is your best film yet. I liked a lot of 'The Puppeteer', but this is a really solid entry that works much more fluidly. The white haired dude is one of the best actors of this fest and his performance made this story very believable.

I found myself actually quite tense and even though we kinda guessed he had been drugged it was still good fun to see how it would play out. One of my faves.

[Richard J. Johnson]

wow! Thnx Darkline, coming from you, I can't tell how much that means. Glad you enjoyed it!

We forgot to shoot a key reverse angle that made it much harder to figure out and I totallly take the blame for that one. Keaton already placed the blame on me. ;)

[Darkline]

not just me, 3 of us watched it and we all liked it. :-)

We're getting through the films slowly, but I'm half way through and this is certainly in my top tier.

[Richard J. Johnson]

not just me, 3 of us watched it and we all liked it. :-)

We're getting through the films slowly, but I'm half way through and this is certainly in my top tier.

Aesome! I really hope I can stay up there. I have never made the second round.






MAH, don't even think about it:cheesy:

[markblasco]

Yeah, I'm almost through all of the films, and even though I might be biased on this one, I think your film really is among the better ones in this fest, and I think it will do quite well.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Yeah, I'm almost through all of the films, and even though I might be biased on this one, I think your film really is among the better ones in this fest, and I think it will do quite well.

LOL! Thanks mark! I hope so. The fact you had 24 hours to score this thing and delivered is just amazing. Thank you so much.

[kurtmo]

Nice cinematography. Liked the lighting. Could have ended it with the gunshot; I didn't think it added anything to continue. Overall a solid piece. Oh, I liked what Mark did for you on the score!

[Noel Evans]

Richard, a really effective set up. The only thing I could really say is the pressure and intensity could have lifted a bit more throughout that sequence - wont add spoiler here - but I think you'd know where I mean.

Solid entry here. Well done.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Nice cinematography. Liked the lighting. Could have ended it with the gunshot; I didn't think it added anything to continue. Overall a solid piece. Oh, I liked what Mark did for you on the score!

Thanks kurt! I was debating ending it on the shot, thanks to MAH, :) But decided to let it play. I'm glad you liked it. Marks score helped tremensously. I really can't thank him enough.


Richard, a really effective set up. The only thing I could really say is the pressure and intensity could have lifted a bit more throughout that sequence - wont add spoiler here - but I think you'd know where I mean.

Solid entry here. Well done.

Appreciate it Noel. I know exactly where you mean. I forgot to shoot a key peice and it really changed the direction. I did have a newer edit but I have been working so much that I did not uploed the version I wanted to. But I'm very happy you liked it.

[Charli]

There were a lot of close ups. Way too many. I agree, you can build the suspense through your shots a bit more. Also, didn't buy an experience guy drinking anything without the other guy drinking it too. Just rule of thumb when it comes to those sort of games. The entire setting seemed a bit stale. Just not enough for me.

[Richard J. Johnson]

There were a lot of close ups. Way too many. I agree, you can build the suspense through your shots a bit more. Also, didn't buy an experience guy drinking anything without the other guy drinking it too. Just rule of thumb when it comes to those sort of games. The entire setting seemed a bit stale. Just not enough for me.

"Thanks" for watching.

[lawriejaffa]

Hey there Richard! Well I enjoyed the setup and i liked the performances from your two actors. I think for me I would have liked seeing more pressure and intensity build between these two characters - give us a thumping soundtrack, speed frame those guys packing the pistols back together, make the whole thing grab us by the balls.

As for the drinking part - yep it does stretch a little that only the hitman does - but - but... i didnt ask myself that at the time of watching - and you know, im fairly cynical by nature. So somethings are only apparent on analyisis in post. This is a film id love to have shot myself. I might however, have considered letting the old dude spare the other guy - films' dont need to finish with gunshots.

If the old dude hadn't he could have played a more charismatic rougue retiree too ;)

[Horncastle]

This was a very solid and enjoyable entry - a simple single scene that worked very well. It depended a lot on the acting which was excellent. I agree with Charli that just the one guy drinking was a weakness. I also considered whether the film could end after the gun shot, which seemed the natural place to end it, but on the other hand, I rather liked the "off to sunnier climes" feeling (helped by the score) that you gave to those last few seconds as he drove off, so I'm not sure.

Jason

[elsmama]

Nice noir feel to it... I figured out where it was going almost immediately, but enjoyed the ride immensely anyway.

[Matt Harris]

I dug the hell out of this, this is so up my alley. very nice B&W Rich, i'm starting to get jealous of you guys who are ditching color.
i was actually thrown for a loop here because i assumed the scotch was poison, but it was not, it was just spiked with an opiate of some sort right?
so i thought the hitman was going to just die, but i like how you threw the "gun building" scene into the mix and then had the hitman slowly pass out.
i also noticed that the music subtley slowed down as the drug took effect, a very nice touch!

i think the problem people are saying of the main character (who was phenomenal) not drinking the scotch is an easy insert shot:
a macro close up of him lifting the drink to his lips and "pretending" to take a swallow would have sold the hitman that the scotch is drinkable.
i don't think you need to go reshoot that, but i'm just saying it's "fixable".

great work Rich, you are on fire between these last 2 fests!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Hey there Richard! Well I enjoyed the setup and i liked the performances from your two actors. I think for me I would have liked seeing more pressure and intensity build between these two characters - give us a thumping soundtrack, speed frame those guys packing the pistols back together, make the whole thing grab us by the balls.

As for the drinking part - yep it does stretch a little that only the hitman does - but - but... i didnt ask myself that at the time of watching - and you know, im fairly cynical by nature. So somethings are only apparent on analyisis in post. This is a film id love to have shot myself. I might however, have considered letting the old dude spare the other guy - films' dont need to finish with gunshots.

If the old dude hadn't he could have played a more charismatic rougue retiree too ;)

Thank you for checking it out Lawrie and for the comments. They mean a great and it makes me think of where else I could have gone with it.


This was a very solid and enjoyable entry - a simple single scene that worked very well. It depended a lot on the acting which was excellent. I agree with Charli that just the one guy drinking was a weakness. I also considered whether the film could end after the gun shot, which seemed the natural place to end it, but on the other hand, I rather liked the "off to sunnier climes" feeling (helped by the score) that you gave to those last few seconds as he drove off, so I'm not sure.

Jason

Not shooting the older guy drinking is something I simply forgot to do and not having a simple reverse changed the direction. There is a newer version that does show him lifting the cup and putting it down but I didn't upload that version. Another mistake as a result of rushing.
Thanks for checking it out.


Nice noir feel to it... I figured out where it was going almost immediately, but enjoyed the ride immensely anyway.

Thank you elsmama!!


I dug the hell out of this, this is so up my alley. very nice B&W Rich, i'm starting to get jealous of you guys who are ditching color.
i was actually thrown for a loop here because i assumed the scotch was poison, but it was not, it was just spiked with an opiate of some sort right?
so i thought the hitman was going to just die, but i like how you threw the "gun building" scene into the mix and then had the hitman slowly pass out.
i also noticed that the music subtley slowed down as the drug took effect, a very nice touch!

i think the problem people are saying of the main character (who was phenomenal) not drinking the scotch is an easy insert shot:
a macro close up of him lifting the drink to his lips and "pretending" to take a swallow would have sold the hitman that the scotch is drinkable.
i don't think you need to go reshoot that, but i'm just saying it's "fixable".

great work Rich, you are on fire between these last 2 fests!

Thanks Matt! It means a lot. I did fix that scene and once the fest is over I will be uploading that version to my vimeo page. Mark Blasco did a great job with the score with having only 24 hours to do it. I really put him under the gun and he came through.

[Marlon Ladd]

Man, what can I say! This was awesome and just like Matt said, this film was right up my alley too. I dug the style, the color (or lack of), the actors, the music and the story. I really liked the way you shot it and I wouldn't change a THING about that. I've seen that some people have a problem with only the younger guy taking the drink, if you fixed that, that's great, but to me that was easily explained when the older guy told him that he was always an idiot. Him taking the drink without seeing the older guy take one proved his point. The whole gun duel thing was something I really liked and thought it was original and unique. Your last three films have really stepped up your game! Your films have shown so much improvement that I have to give you big props. Keep doing what you're doing! Out of the films I've seen so far, this is definitely one of my top picks.

[Matt Harris]

good review marlon, i agree with everything you said. rich has become a really consistently good filmmaker and i totally recognize his style the second his movie starts.

[Marlon Ladd]

Yep, you're right, Matt. He's definitely been coming into his on. BTW - On my way to your thread now. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

I thought I posted my review but I don't see it?

First off, I think this is your best, most complete entry yet.
I loved the look of it and was fine with the close shots. The acting was great, especially the older guy. I won't gripe on the drink thing since you yourself have commented on that.

Sounded pretty good as well. Great editing, very smooth film.

I'll be surprised if you don't make the finals.

MAH

[Richard J. Johnson]

I thought I posted my review but I don't see it?

First off, I think this is your best, most complete entry yet.
I loved the look of it and was fine with the close shots. The acting was great, especially the older guy. I won't gripe on the drink thing since you yourself have commented on that.

Sounded pretty good as well. Great editing, very smooth film.

I'll be surprised if you don't make the finals.

MAH

Thanks MAH! I don't have to tell you how great it is to hear you say that. I greatly apprecitate it.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Man, what can I say! This was awesome and just like Matt said, this film was right up my alley too. I dug the style, the color (or lack of), the actors, the music and the story. I really liked the way you shot it and I wouldn't change a THING about that. I've seen that some people have a problem with only the younger guy taking the drink, if you fixed that, that's great, but to me that was easily explained when the older guy told him that he was always an idiot. Him taking the drink without seeing the older guy take one proved his point. The whole gun duel thing was something I really liked and thought it was original and unique. Your last three films have really stepped up your game! Your films have shown so much improvement that I have to give you big props. Keep doing what you're doing! Out of the films I've seen so far, this is definitely one of my top picks.

Wow! Thanks Marlon. I so appreciate the comments. The mean a great deal! Hopefully you will be back next fest...ahem.


good review marlon, i agree with everything you said. rich has become a really consistently good filmmaker and i totally recognize his style the second his movie starts.

Matt thank you! As I am a fan of your work as well. Hopefully I will continue to get better. The feedback just pushes me harder to get to level some of you are on.

[jambredz]

i'd have to agree with Charli about the other guy not drinking...or the younger guy even drinking in the first place without old dude drinking. could have had them both drink and revealed some twist in the plot that revealed the old guy somehow making it look as if he drank. that bugged me, just not believable that guys of this caliber would make such an error. He can still look like an idiot even if they both drank...cuz he should have just shot him and be done with it :D

other than that it was pretty nice :)

btw when these fest come around ur film is one of the first for me to watch. (3rd one to watch this time around)

[Richard J. Johnson]

i'd have to agree with Charli about the other guy not drinking...or the younger guy even drinking in the first place without old dude drinking. could have had them both drink and revealed some twist in the plot that revealed the old guy somehow making it look as if he drank. that bugged me, just not believable that guys of this caliber would make such an error. He can still look like an idiot even if they both drank...cuz he should have just shot him and be done with it :D

other than that it was pretty nice :)

btw when these fest come around ur film is one of the first for me to watch. (3rd one to watch this time around)

What's up Jam?! Thanks for the review. I forgot a shoot a key reverse that would have solved that problem and I was devestated when I looked through my footage and it wasn't there. It really changed the road it went down. I do have an alternate version though where we the glass being picked up an put back down. I knew I would catch hell with that. I had to call Chris and apologize for that one. But I'm glad you enjoyed and next time check me out early again!:Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)

[stinkpot]

Hey Richard... on my thread you said your swas "last minute" like mine. I don't think it felt too rushed other than a couple of things mentioned above. I liked the story and you cast the movie well... I dig the b&w with some nice shots too.

Keep up the good work!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Hey Richard... on my thread you said your swas "last minute" like mine. I don't think it felt too rushed other than a couple of things mentioned above. I liked the story and you cast the movie well... I dig the b&w with some nice shots too.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks stink! I will never jump in with 5 days left again that's for sure.

[dwyz]

Your lead actor is fantastic, though his retirerer(?) unfortunately couldnt be any less convincing, I also struggled with the way over the top dof which left me feeling like I had something in my eye. I also found the setting way too overlit and lacking in detail and atmosphere.
On a more positive note though, everything else stood up and was elevated by the editing and the awesome silver haired man and the fact you did the whole thing in 5 days is something to be proud of.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Your lead actor is fantastic, though his retirerer(?) unfortunately couldnt be any less convincing, I also struggled with the way over the top dof which left me feeling like I had something in my eye. I also found the setting way too overlit and lacking in detail and atmosphere.
On a more positive note though, everything else stood up and was elevated by the editing and the awesome silver haired man and the fact you did the whole thing in 5 days is something to be proud of.

Thanks for checking it out dwyz. I really appreciate the feedback. We only used practicals so I can see how you would say that. Thanks agian.

[MrKilloran]

I liked it a lot, I think all your close-ups really confine us but that benefits the story I think, since it traps the audience in this space. Putting the gun together for a dual, that was intense, just a little more "oomph" in the score could push it over the edge. The older actor was quite good but the other hitman pales in comparison which is unfortuante. Sure the drinking needs to suspend a little belief to really go with it but it's a minor flaw in an overall great entry. Nice work, keep it up!

[Richard J. Johnson]

I liked it a lot, I think all your close-ups really confine us but that benefits the story I think, since it traps the audience in this space. Putting the gun together for a dual, that was intense, just a little more "oomph" in the score could push it over the edge. The older actor was quite good but the other hitman pales in comparison which is unfortuante. Sure the drinking needs to suspend a little belief to really go with it but it's a minor flaw in an overall great entry. Nice work, keep it up!

Nice avatar Kill. And thank you for checking it out! That was the first time I worked with Brian and he was a true professional as was Paulie.

[filmcritic]

No reason to cheer for either character though this is not a result of acting so much as storytelling. The acting was actually very good. Great score, good end shot choice but it would have been stronger if you had made the gun shot the end shot, maybe it would have been under 6min10seconds too. Simple story which is always a plus, too many people try to cram too much into their shorts and fail simple is safe. All in all a descent submission and I look forward to seeing more of your work.

[AmyO]

Congratulations on making it to round 2! :)

[Matt Harris]

Rich you are the man, congrats.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Congratulations on making it to round 2! :)

Thank you Amy!! This our first time making it.


Rich you are the man, congrats.

Thank you Matt!! you already know how I feel about your work. Vaccine was fantastic!

[Noel Evans]

Congrats Richard.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you Noel!

[Darkline]

Told ya ;-)

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Congratulations!!

[Marlon Ladd]

I wasn't worried a bit. Congrats!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Marlon and MAH, I so appreciate it. You guys input is invaluable.

[Charli]

Good luck!

[maranfilms]

im a big fan of your work, but this didn't come off as good as I hoped. I felt the acting was lagging in parts. sometimes even unconvincing. As a viewer, it felt rushd together.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks Maran. We jumped in last minute. We shot edited in 3 days, and mark had 24 hours to score it. I will never work like that again. But I'm happy you like my work, that alone makes it worth it.

CHARLI: thank you, I will need it :)

[Sebastian Stenhøj]

Well done!

[markblasco]

Congrats!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Well done!

Thank you Sebastian.


Congrats!

Thanks Mark, You did a great job.

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

Interesting short. I REALLY like the concept of a 'assemble your gun' gun-draw, very cool. The whole betrayed goon thing is pretty well worn, but works to get you into your setup. I had two big problems with the story. 1, I REALLY didnt buy that the gunmen would dare take a sip of anything prior to the other guy. He would have waited for the condemned to drink first, then cautiously taken a sip himself (if at all). 2, I also really didnt buy that the hitman would agree to put his own life on the line like that. You didnt set the hitman up as egotistical enough or anything, there's simply zero motivation for that. On a more minor note, the effect of the whiskey on the guy seems to be more like poison or a narcotic, though then at the end he mentions it's just cheap Scotch. I'm sorry, that little amount of cheap scotch wont affect you at all, especially in that time frame.

I think your place in the finalists is well deserved. I really liked your choice to have them be well dressed older guys. Loved the dolly shots during the assembly. And I just so love the main setup. Congrats!

[Mike Manning]

Hey man, congrats on placing in the finals! Forgive me for not posting sooner, I hadn't had a chance to watch this until now.

As I'm sure others have said, I found it hard to believe that this guy could be tricked that easily. I'm not a "professional" by any means, but I know that if I were going to go kill someone, I wouldn't let my target try and talk his way out of it... Or give him his gun... Or drink anything that he's not drinking.

On the story level, I had a hard time identifying with either of the characters. Never knew who was "the good guy" and who was "the bad guy" or why I should care if either of them lives or dies by the end. It's an important part of any story that we be given a reason to care about the protagonist and this usually ties into the theme or moral of the story. Otherwise what are we left with when the show's over?

There were some excellent shots in the film. Loved the dolly shot and pans during the assembly scene. I also really dig the idea of an assembly draw - never seen that before! May I ask what was the motivation to shoot the film in black and white?

[Richard J. Johnson]

Interesting short. I REALLY like the concept of a 'assemble your gun' gun-draw, very cool. The whole betrayed goon thing is pretty well worn, but works to get you into your setup. I had two big problems with the story. 1, I REALLY didnt buy that the gunmen would dare take a sip of anything prior to the other guy. He would have waited for the condemned to drink first, then cautiously taken a sip himself (if at all). 2, I also really didnt buy that the hitman would agree to put his own life on the line like that. You didnt set the hitman up as egotistical enough or anything, there's simply zero motivation for that. On a more minor note, the effect of the whiskey on the guy seems to be more like poison or a narcotic, though then at the end he mentions it's just cheap Scotch. I'm sorry, that little amount of cheap scotch wont affect you at all, especially in that time frame.

I think your place in the finalists is well deserved. I really liked your choice to have them be well dressed older guys. Loved the dolly shots during the assembly. And I just so love the main setup. Congrats!

Thank you shawn. We jumped in last minute and rushed some things and I forgot to shoot tyhe scene where the older guy took a sip too. The glass was what was laced not the scotch. I knew I would take a hit on that one. But I take the blame for that one. Not shooting that reverse killed me.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Hey man, congrats on placing in the finals! Forgive me for not posting sooner, I hadn't had a chance to watch this until now.

As I'm sure others have said, I found it hard to believe that this guy could be tricked that easily. I'm not a "professional" by any means, but I know that if I were going to go kill someone, I wouldn't let my target try and talk his way out of it... Or give him his gun... Or drink anything that he's not drinking.

On the story level, I had a hard time identifying with either of the characters. Never knew who was "the good guy" and who was "the bad guy" or why I should care if either of them lives or dies by the end. It's an important part of any story that we be given a reason to care about the protagonist and this usually ties into the theme or moral of the story. Otherwise what are we left with when the show's over?

There were some excellent shots in the film. Loved the dolly shot and pans during the assembly scene. I also really dig the idea of an assembly draw - never seen that before! May I ask what was the motivation to shoot the film in black and white?

Thanks for checking it out mike! They were both bad, and that is something I wrestled with.

I think the shot selection had a lot to with your review. I literally had 3 days to shoot and edit the movie and if I would have had longer the audience would have saw a different angle. My head was all over the place and we forgot some very important scenes that would have changed a lot. But I'm glad you liked it man.

[Darkline]

Congrats Rich. I said you had a solid short here when I first saw it and I'm glad that you made the finals. If you can turn this out in such a short time, think of what you can do with a bigger timescale and planning. I loved the short and I'm still waiting for the sequel to 'the puppeteer'!

[Matt Harris]

What Darkline said. Also, Rich, I have done many entries at the last minute. It's almost like cramming an entry in should be a separate judging, it is a feat all itself.
good work per usual man.