The Pendant (short film shot on 5d mkII)

[trowbridgew]

Hello dvxuser community,
This is the first short I filmed on a dslr, please let me know what you think about it. I am a student film maker and would love to hear your questions and comments. I am astonished with quality of the video and because of this bought myself a 7d of my own.
Enjoy and thank you
Will

http://www.vimeo.com/9166491

[trowbridgew]

Thanks for viewing

[trowbridgew]

Cheers

[Amr Rahmy]

try again. but try not to suck too much this time!! just kidding, don't give me that look.

i watched up to the point of the binoculars,

how about redoing the same thing again, that might help.

try to think of it as a story, it starts at one point and goes through something so perhaps drop the birds at the start(or limit it to just tell the audience it's a beach with one or two birds in the background.
don't let the birds dictate your camera movements next time), it's also a good idea to plan the shots as a motion shot not a still, start with the person going there then show the audience why he went there.
better editing would be a good idea, don't just cut suddenly to a really weird close up and a different contrast like that, or like cutting the movement to the still shot of the chair. it's not a still and 2d world, you can move around an object if you wanted to.
also planing the shot where we can see where are we before drastically doing the close up thing everyone seems to love doing.

did i mention not to do the shaky shaky realty thing.

[trowbridgew]

Okay first of all if your going to give me criticism give it with respect, how am I supposed to take anything you say seriously when all you offer me is a strange rant. It seems that you have film making down to a t, do you have anything to back up your criticism? I am not saying my film is near perfect, but I am proud of it. All of the shots were carefully planned and executed and perhaps if you had watched the film further you would have taken something positive away from it. I do enjoy getting criticism but you my friend are sad excuse for a critic.

[Seamus McFlannel]

I agree.

[Seamus McFlannel]

I really liked it trowbridgew. I liked the look and feel. I think it's great that you can tell
a story with only a few lines of dialogue. I thought there wer a number of beautifully framed shots. I especially liked that you weren't afraid to allow the camera to be locked down, while you let the actor
move in the scene. It had a very poetic feel to it.
You are right to respond to amrrahmy the way you did. That wasn't criticism, it was a fault finding hatchet job.

[trowbridgew]

Thanks for your comment Seamus, Im glad you enjoyed the film

[Lammy]

Pretty cool first film.

I would say amrrahmy does have a point, that the pacing and editing is the weakest link.

This film should be 5 mins max, but each shot lingers twice as long as it should. You don't need to show a guy getting up. Sitting down. Setting a chair. Walking from place to place. Watching. Walking some more. We understood how he got there and the lingering music says it all too :)

[Seamus McFlannel]

BandanaDan,
That is a good example of helpful and friendly criticism. Completely different tone than ammrrahmy.
I don't agree with all of your points, but you gave your opinions respectfully and in the context of friendship. Thanks for treating trowbridgew with respect.
Seamus+

[Amr Rahmy]

hey, i'm not the bad meannnyy person here. i would like to be tho.

i will try to give it a shot,

did you ever wonder why your post was not replied for over two weeks and a couple of bumps. i was only trying to help, you did ask for comments in your post and you got them. might not be what you expected but that's reality, it doesn't have to turn out the way you want. good luck on your next project.

how was that meannyyyy enough.

[trowbridgew]

Cheers,
Its in the past, thanks for your response

[Seamus McFlannel]

I think you might work on the way you try to help amrrahmy, because it certainly wasn't
constructive in the least. It didn't read like you were trying help. It read like your were trying to discourage.
So, if you were trying to help, you might want to work on your delivery, because it wasn't effective at all. That's reality.

[Amr Rahmy]

no that's your illusion.

the only two constructive comments were mine and Bandana Dan's.

[jasonthewho]

I commented the other place this was posted, I believe in User Films.

[Amr Rahmy]

I commented the other place this was posted, I believe in User Films.

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=198800


searched the thread

from jasonthewho (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/member.php?u=33943)


Nice short. Looked great, good locations, mostly good acting (the argument at the end was a little weak, writing and acting wise). Biggest problem is editing - you could easily cut this down to a 6 minute short. You don't need to cut to a chair and then have someone sit in it. Just cut to the chair as the person is in the process of sitting down. You can fudge with continuity a little too to speed up a film.