View Full Version : The 5:48 `short film

12-22-2009, 01:26 PM
This was a short movie I shot for school. It is an adaptation of a short story written by John Cheever. Shot with my GH 1 in 108024p with the kit lens and a canon FD 35mm f2.0. Zero budget!
for sound I used an edirol r-09 with a shotgun mic plugged in.

there is jello noticeable in the subway scene because i was shooting handheld :(

but criticism is wanted!

this just a rough cut, color correction and some minor audio adjustments are still needed

btw I was only 16 when I made it. Don't make false assumptions because of my age.



12-24-2009, 11:26 AM
Nice camera movement, what did you use for the sliding / dolly shots? (hallway? and the up and down shots, city sacramento street)

Good color correction (did you do much, or is this mostly out of hte camera?)

SOund is a bit rough, i mean i was getting interference here and there, levels seem to go up and down. (i know thats a very tough thing to master, i am struggling with it now myself)

Nice movement of focus in and out (where hes talking on the phone and other parts)

My main gripe is the pacing. (i have this problem to, im so in love with all the footage i shot, with all the time it took, taht i want to use as much as possible).

Honestly you could easily trim 1-2 mins here and there, and not effect the story. It moves a little to slowly, and part of it just needs certain shots trimmed 1-3 seconds (walking, etc...)

Some sort of score would also help you, i found myself getting bored in the middle and struggled to finish it.

Other than that well done you managed to get a pretty professional looking piece done.

12-24-2009, 11:34 AM
thanks for the helpful critique!

I used my DIY Dolly for all the smooth pan shots and the tilting was done with one of the schools tripods, not sure which head was on it, but it seemed pretty smooth

thanks again!