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Scott Lovejoy
10-29-2009, 01:57 PM
http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/picture.php?albumid=311&pictureid=1943


Hi all.

I think I'm going to come in just under the wire.

JTyner
10-29-2009, 02:00 PM
Cool.....another entry!!!

Good Luck!

EditPhish
10-29-2009, 02:04 PM
Wow... last-minute and poster looks good! It's got me interested ;)

Good luck!

ramsaur
10-29-2009, 02:10 PM
Either a last minute or you've already shot and you wanted to post late.
Either way, looking forward to your entry!

Marlon Ladd
10-29-2009, 02:26 PM
Great poster! Very creative.

Rodney V. Smith
10-30-2009, 03:03 AM
good poster, interestign tagline: i'm intrigued. welcome!

ZazaCast
10-30-2009, 11:06 AM
Welcome!

cinealma
10-30-2009, 11:29 AM
Very cool. Looking forward to watching.

Matt Harris
10-30-2009, 11:50 AM
one of the best posters yet, very original!

Scott Lovejoy
10-30-2009, 12:25 PM
Either a last minute or you've already shot and you wanted to post late.
Either way, looking forward to your entry!

A bit of both. I already shot when I posted, but I wasn't sure I was going to make it on the editing front.

I did, though.

lordambrai
10-30-2009, 04:34 PM
I like the pink straw! Very manly.

EditPhish
11-01-2009, 02:54 AM
I feel like you could have benefited from having a good soundtrack... it would have helped the pacing along (which didn't seem bad). I don't know that you nailed either the comedic aspects or the creepier aspects of the story itself, but I thought there was interesting potential.

You sound was too low (especially compared to all the other movies).

It definitely had amusing aspects to it, and it looked good. Was a middle-of-the-road scorer for me. Keep it up though, you can do better!

Scott Lovejoy
11-01-2009, 05:48 AM
I feel like you could have benefited from having a good soundtrack... it would have helped the pacing along (which didn't seem bad).

Agreed. Sometimes we wear all the hats and some don't fit. I have many problems in the sound area, and always have a difficulty choosing what to put where. In the end I didn't put anything anywhere, which was certainly a bad choice.

The pacing is okay, but I see a glaring problem with the length of one scene in particular. I wish I had chopped the dialog down before shooting, because it wasn't going to cut right after shooting.


I don't know that you nailed either the comedic aspects or the creepier aspects of the story itself, but I thought there was interesting potential.Aye. There's a definite tone problem.



You sound was too low (especially compared to all the other movies).
Noted.


It definitely had amusing aspects to it, and it looked good. Was a middle-of-the-road scorer for me. Keep it up though, you can do better!Thanks, I intend to try.

MrFluffy
11-01-2009, 09:34 AM
I enjoyed this. You know about the soud and that the lack of soundtrack made it seem a little sparse.

The overall flow was good and kept me interested.

Well done.

EditPhish
11-01-2009, 10:16 AM
Hey Scott,

I'm so glad you took my feedback in a positive light... I really only mean it that way to everyone! We all took notes (at our watch-party) as we watched each film last night, so maybe my comments aren't in the friendliest tone because they're transcribed from notes to myself, but I know JTyner and I will benefit from constructive criticism and comments on what we did wrong as well as right.

I did enjoy your entry so good work!

Charli
11-02-2009, 11:12 AM
Definitely had audio problems but the story also took awhile to get going. It was simple story but maybe a bit too simple overall. Not enough tension or suspense to get me through the six minutes.

cinealma
11-02-2009, 11:20 AM
Yes, there were some major technical issues. Yes, the story didn't work in some places.

BUT...

A poo pooing great hook... a vampire who doesn't have fangs! Brilliant. Rewrite that idea and really do something with it. Wish I thought of it. :thumbsup:

Pacing was fine for me. I thought the coffee shop scenes work out very well. Very visual, not a lot of dialogue. Very nice.

Good job. Thanks for sharing!

Edgen
11-02-2009, 11:28 AM
ahhh the temptations...

Cool concept!

Looking forward to your next entry
/j

Michael Anthony Horrigan
11-02-2009, 06:40 PM
Take what you've learned from the comments here and come back at us next fest. There was a lot to enjoy here, technical issues aside.

I also thought that both actresses were quite good. The girl in the coffee shop was great! Very natural on screen. Interesting story as well.

Keep at it.

MAH

TomGruber
11-03-2009, 10:37 PM
Hey, just dropping in to say that I thought the underlining premise of your film is one of the better ones I've watched so far. The concept is creative, but like others have said above, the production value and pacing didn't seem to be doing it proper justice.

As far as pacing, some of the editing could be tighter. Less is more! In my opinion, I would have cut or greatly reduced the scene where the guy checks his calendar.

One thing I noticed is that your lighting appeared pretty flat -- particularly in that first kitchen scene with the open refrigerator. It stood out as amateur-looking. The dialogue shots were well composed, but some additional thought to the lighting could have made a big difference in making your scenes pop.

Overall, good execution of shots and idea. I noticed you're in Boston. Film student by chance?

Chris_Keaton
11-04-2009, 07:51 AM
I can't comment on the technical stuff, so I'll let the experts do that.

On my first viewing I didn't get it. I can now say I see where you were going, but I just don't see the point. It's not Lawrie confusing, but there are bits in there like the roomate that I just don't understand their purpose. I get that she is a nurse that provides him with blood. But why doesn't he have fangs why isn't he just killing like a regular vampire. I think all of that could be interesting if somehow we knew what got him to that point and then his temptation would have heightened drama. If you get my drift. Overall good job.

Scott Lovejoy
11-04-2009, 09:33 AM
Hey, just dropping in to say that I thought the underlining premise of your film is one of the better ones I've watched so far. The concept is creative, but like others have said above, the production value and pacing didn't seem to be doing it proper justice.

Thanks, and you're right.



As far as pacing, some of the editing could be tighter. Less is more! In my opinion, I would have cut or greatly reduced the scene where the guy checks his calendar.I agree, but maybe not on that scene. I wanted him to have a moment to himself. The scene that bothers me the most is the scene in the dialog scene in the coffee-shop when I cut it together it just felt really really long, and I began to regret writing it.



One thing I noticed is that your lighting appeared pretty flat -- particularly in that first kitchen scene with the open refrigerator. It stood out as amateur-looking. The dialogue shots were well composed, but some additional thought to the lighting could have made a big difference in making your scenes pop.You're right. I want to be a DP more than a director, and I cringe when I watch this. The whole film was shot in about 7 hours and I regret not just taking my time and doing it over a few days. The film was supposed to be a little escape from a rough semester, and it was, but the production certainly suffered because of it.



Overall, good execution of shots and idea. I noticed you're in Boston. Film student by chance?I am.

Scott Lovejoy
11-04-2009, 09:41 AM
I can't comment on the technical stuff, so I'll let the experts do that.

On my first viewing I didn't get it. I can now say I see where you were going, but I just don't see the point. It's not Lawrie confusing, but there are bits in there like the roomate that I just don't understand their purpose. I get that she is a nurse that provides him with blood. But why doesn't he have fangs why isn't he just killing like a regular vampire. I think all of that could be interesting if somehow we knew what got him to that point and then his temptation would have heightened drama. If you get my drift. Overall good job.


I realize now that the title throws everything off, and turns some moments into something they're not.

The main point of the story isn't that he doesn't have fangs, it's that he's trying to fight his desire to have a woman (or a companion, really), and his desire for blood. The last shot is him actually licking his fang, because his desire for blood takes over.

I'm actually kind of curious about how many people didn't get that, I'm now realizing it may be a lot, in which case I failed at the storytelling.

jasonthewho
11-04-2009, 09:50 AM
It seemed to me that he only had fangs when he was really thirsty, like at the end, because there were definitely times where it looked like he did not have them, like in the coffee shop.

I really enjoyed your two lead actors, and I thought the concept was strong enough for me to get sucked in despite some weaker technical elements, mainly sound and lighting.

The end for me could have been stronger, and I felt like the roommate should tie back in at some point.

I watched a lot of this with a smile on my face, because your characters were so endearing. Looking forward to more from you.

Chris_Keaton
11-04-2009, 11:42 AM
I do think the title threw me off. I was through it the first and thought it was cutsey until the end. Then I got what you were going for the second viewing. I was thinking like Jason that he only got teeth when he was really hungry.

TomGruber
11-04-2009, 01:31 PM
The whole film was shot in about 7 hours

Wow! That's impressive what you were able to pull off in that amount of time. All things considered, I like what you put together.

Glad to know there are other Boston-based DVXuser members. I'm studying film over at Emerson myself and shoot on the same camera. If you ever want to collaborate on a project, shoot me an email. I'd be glad to work with you.

ramsaur
11-05-2009, 04:12 AM
This was a fun and entertaining film to watch. It just felt a little dragged of the fact he was trying to get the girl to come home with him so he could get her blood and kill her. But over all pretty good. Good work.

Blaine
11-09-2009, 03:38 PM
The last shot is him actually licking his fang, because his desire for blood takes over.

I'm actually kind of curious about how many people didn't get that, I'm now realizing it may be a lot, in which case I failed at the storytelling.I got that. I will say that I went back to the shot of him licking his fang to make sure it looked like more than just a normal K9 tooth.

I think there is a lot of potential here, some realized and some not so much. There are definitely themes to explore and for this you're going to need more than 6 minutes.

This is a nice introductory piece and I'll be looking forward to seeing your next film.

lawriejaffa
11-10-2009, 06:50 PM
This is an endearing tale, shot naturally, with cute performances, and a delightful enough script. I say endearing of course but yes if the suggestion is that our chap has his vampire teeth and is about to cause bloody mayhem then that is a drastic change!

We don't see that however, and so the original impression remains. If we did then the film could go in the direction of would be romantic comedies that veer into terrifying territory like the Japanese film, Audition.

Likewise many a suburban director, would have our vampire chap return to the sofa, to complain and in all such witty banter moan in woody allen-esque fashion about his fate to the girl.

We see neither - but either would be an effective dynamic to this film that would lend to such a different type of film overall.

In a way this film feels for that matter a little incomplete. The final kicker needs to be applied - as it stands it ends a little cutely. Its hard to concieve that with little pouches of blood and there lack thereof leading to homicide... would be something allowed to happen.

The relationship of the characters, and the script and performances are effective enough that we are left wanting more, and while the overall storytelling of the film could be more effective, conclusive and in depth, there is obvious skill on display here.