View Full Version : The Incurable

10-18-2009, 11:36 PM


Writer/Director: Dan Kolen
DP: Marcin Wawrzyczek
Starring: Jacqueline Rossi, Bryan Harris, and Jim Hasani

Shot on an HVX-200A with a Letus Elite Adapter and 35mm, 50mm, and 85mm lenses. Editing will take me up thru the deadline. Hope you all enjoy the short.

10-26-2009, 08:48 PM
Poster is up, woot!

10-26-2009, 09:08 PM
Looks great! Is that a needle in the eye? If so, has to be a good one.

10-27-2009, 12:44 AM
Welcome! You have the best avatar ever!

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-27-2009, 07:12 AM
Cool poster! Love the design.

Welcome to the Fest.

Rodney V. Smith
10-31-2009, 12:59 PM
ahh there yoU are. need to link your thread so .we know you're here. Welcome to the fest

Marlon Ladd
10-31-2009, 01:03 PM
Nice poster. Very creative. Welcome and good luck!

Rodney V. Smith
10-31-2009, 01:15 PM
Come on dude, get out there and promote your movie. reply in the other threads, talk and link your banner back to the movie. if nobody knows you;re here, nobody is going to watch your movie.

10-31-2009, 01:46 PM
Thanks Rodney for the post. Looking forward to the Fest and viewing the films! I've been using all my available brain points on the film and work, now that some have been freed up, I look forward to seeing what's out there.

Can't wait for the viewing, thank you for your interest, and I'm putting up some screen grabs on the original post.

Mark Johnson
10-31-2009, 06:54 PM
nice. .... cool floor shot

11-02-2009, 11:20 AM
This felt more like a domestic-violence film with the slapping about in the beginning and then it pretty much stayed along that feel. I don't think it ever really stepped up to be a monster flick. The floor shot, I agree was cool.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
11-02-2009, 07:59 PM
Some interesting shot choices in this one. I liked a lot of what I saw but as said above, it felt like a domestic abuse film. Still, it was pretty engaging and the actors were quite competent as well. A few shaky/odd focus shots but all in all it was pretty good.


Michael Anthony Horrigan
11-02-2009, 09:12 PM
Just wanted to add. That shot through the window early on was great in a disturbing kind of way. Nice work there.

11-03-2009, 08:07 AM
Thanx. We stuck a jib arm out my roommate's window and filmed the take looking into mine. 4 stories up!

Marlon Ladd
11-05-2009, 10:09 AM
Well, let me be the first to give (what I hope to be) a real in depth review. I thought the film had lots of potential. It was a good story. In the beginning you had some really good shots. The shot outside the window was outstanding as well, however that whole scene came off really abrupt. Before I knew it there was something going on and I really couldn't tell what until he started punching. Once he starting punching and then he stopped, you couldn't tell what he had done to her. She just layed there as if she was dead with her hand over her face. That was a little confusing, but it was still an excellent shot, so bravo on that.

The dolly shot into the conversation with the new BF was really good as well. It would have been nice to see a couple of better CU angles on their dialogue along with that shot. The aerial shot in the bathroom was good too, but I think you held that shot too long and it didn't make it believable. After several seconds, a cut-away CU on her pain and reaction (face) would have been good. Also, the stuff that happened to the new BF was confusing as there was really no sound to indicate anything had happened once the lights were out. We do understand that he was probably dead, but a CU of his dead face to reiterate that would have been good as well. The old BF monster transformation needs work. The first time the movement is stuttery and I can tell that it was done in a different program and then imported back in the original editing program. Then the transformation at the end was off with the key frames as well. What program were you using on that?

Anyway, all those things I named can be easily fixed if it's something you think warrants it. I did enjoy the film and like I said, I see alot of potential here. You have a really good cinematic eye. Slap a little more polish and time on this piece and it'll shine. Congrats on completing a film! Nice job.

11-08-2009, 09:56 AM
Thank you for your points of critique. They are very helpful. First time shooting with film lenses, first time keying a frame in after effects, and first time doing a narrative short. So it was a great, first-time experience from the gate, which I learned an f-ton.

Re: effect on face. My intent was to never need after effects for the monster people, but my make-up person (WICKED, Lyric Opera Chicago) at the last second copped out, I had to go to a second choice, didn't have enough time to brief her throughly, and I was really unhappy with the results. So I was stuck trying to learn stuff on after effects that I've never attempted before. Did the ( http://www.videocopilot.net/tutorials/demon_face_warp/ ) effect, but it didn't track the motion well, so I "got creative" in Final Cut as opposed to spending the hours I didn't have re-rendering!

I would love to spend another week on it, cut it down a bit, add in a breath here and there. Thanks again for taking the time to review it. It helps to make things better for the future.

11-10-2009, 07:43 PM
Right well this is an ambitious film trying to fit a lot of story and ideas in here along with novel visual styles also! Its a bit of a mish mash that doesnt lend to a particuarly accessible story and is at times incoherent.

Its smacks of film student! I can just smell its film student like musk... the ironic alternative start... he's wearing a waistcoat - i bet their not even actors... their your... fellow filmmaking student friends... I bet ... i bet!

When our girl goes from teehee to Argh and pushes him off, there is little to show in him, for what has caused that response unless he's said. 'Guess what darling... your new silky knickers.. i have them on now.' Or.... 'your pet kitten fifi... i have her on now' etc

The violence is unexpected of course - it sets up nicely. But be aware that sometimes that 'idea' can sound way cooler than it ends up in practice. They won't expect that i hear this films committee think tank say hehehe, that will shock them etc.

Yeah but domestic violence always shocks. I could start every film with a baby falling out a pram in flames at 1200 frames on that casio thingamejig but it might distract from the story.

What is the story? Its about a dude that becomes a kind of freaky deaky monster? No...

its become a film about a guy whose beating his girlfriend. Thats what's going to stick with us.

This is EVEN reinforced by the post 'what a bad guy he is exposition speech' in the scene afterwards.

Then at the end crazy guy is back, killed her new boyfriend. We haven't really moved from the theme of bad boyfriend and the monster depiction appears very circumstantial.

That is - what difference does his supernatural/ quotent bring to the story? If it wasnt there, would the main thrust of this story be any different really?

11-10-2009, 08:36 PM
Thanx Lawrie. One time, at band camp, when was in 8th grade, a girl in high school told me I was sophmoric. I thanked her. Never went to film school, so thank you for the compliment too! As I was editing, I thought to myself--this doesn't look, or feel like previous DVX winners. Why is that? It does feel like a student film, I think more with the pacing of the shots, the shot selection, perhaps the music makes it more ironic than it should--just stay with one mood and keep it, as opposed to starting light and then going heavy, perhaps? Will think about that. I casted the actors, had about 30 potential people who responded to the casting call, picked the people I liked best. Never knew any of the people beforehand. Wanted something downbeat, and I was very happy with the lead female especially.

But ya, I'll play around with it, maybe make it shorter. I guess I didn't make the story clear enough: the medication that turns him into a monster is the catalyst for the action. It turns him into an abusive emotional freak. If it weren't for the medication, he wouldn't turn into this... thing. I agree though, visually, the stuff needs to be stronger. I think if the effects were visually stronger, you'd believe HOW the monster turns him into something awful.

Thank you again Lawrie, I'm appreciative of your time and am grateful you spent the time watching and thinking about all these movies. Good luck with the reviews.

11-10-2009, 10:31 PM
Just getting around to watching a few I haven't seen yet and this is one of them. I had some issues with the clarity of the story and I had some issues with some of the technical aspects but I wanted to point something out: You've got some elements that are really well done but for some reason you were inconsistent with the quality. For instance, it begins with some really nicely composed and well lit shots: rack focuses, pans, dollys, the works! The couple looks good, the window shot is great and were off into the story. I personally thought the scene where the guy attacks her was very well done. He really looked like he was attacking her and I was sort of cringing in my seat (which I'm not sure if I did on any other movie.) The shot out the window was great by the way, that scene as I said was uncomfortable as hell!

But then you start losing some of the nice elements i.e the scene with the boy and the girl in the living room: It starts with a nice dolly to reveal them in conversation but when the guy is speaking the audio is a lot worse than when the girl is speaking. Good audio is KEY and you had it for 50% of the scene. Not sure why it was inconsistent there.

Then the scene where the guy injects her is not nearly as well done as the other scene where he is attacking her. It needs some sound fx and a bit of editing. But again, here is a 180 from what you've already shown you can do.

Then at the end it's poorly lit and hard to see which is completely the opposite from the nicely lit and composed beginning. Maybe shoot that last scene at the magic hour so you have more light.

At any rate I think you've shown that you can shoot with proficiency but for some reason you didn't do it for the entire short. Of course there are always time/money/talent problems and I don't know what you were dealing with. Keep it up and I'm sure you'll get there.