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View Full Version : "Lot 6a" - Shaun Patrick/The Giff



Shaun Patrick
07-30-2009, 02:20 PM
http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Poster2HighRez.jpg


Synopsis:


A parking lot attendant suffers a head injury and must come to terms with his temporary blindness while the world around him falls apart.


Written and Directed by Shaun Boyle and Stephen Gifford
Starring Shawn Dempewolff and Aaron Edell


http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/twitter.jpg (http://twitter.com/shaun_boyle)


http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/facebook.jpg (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lot6a-Short-Film/195065775029)


--


http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/TitleBar.jpg


Uncorrected Frame Grabs - Click Here to Access Post (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703550&postcount=4)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_1Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_2Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_3Thumb.jpg

First Round of BTS - Click Here to Access Post (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703549&postcount=3)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/BTS_1Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/OnSetADR_1Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/OnSetADR_2Thumb.jpg

Frame Grabs: The Sequel: Click Here to See Post (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1790452&postcount=23)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_4Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_5Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_6Thumb.jpg

Frame Grabs: The Final Post - Click Here to Access Post (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1791813&postcount=25)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_7Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_8Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_9Thumb.jpg

CC'd Grabs Post 1 -- Click Here to Access Post (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1795153&postcount=34)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_1Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_2Thumb.jpg http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_4Thumb.jpg

Big Thanks to Cast and Crew -- Click Here to Access Post (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1796898&postcount=48)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_3Thumb.jpg


10/24 - Shoot Complete

Shoot went great and we luckily missed the rain. Wind was a major issue and we had to do some On-Set ADR in our cars before we wrapped the actors. All in all, an exhausting day but we're very happy with how the footage looks. Right now, I'm transcoding the H264 files from the 5D Mark II into the ProRes format--so I will have uncorrected captures up later in the day.

10/22 - Cast and Crew
Ben - Shawn Dempewolff - Website (http://shawndempewolff.com/)
Dave - Aaron Edell - Website
(http://twotrillionaires.blogspot.com/)Written and Directed by
Shaun Boyle - Website (http://www.hellfrozeover.tv)
Stephen Gifford - Website (http://stephengifford.net/)

Shoot date is tomorrow--look for the more glamorous updates to be posted over the next couple of days. I'll have BTS shots and some raw camera stills up on Saturday.

10/20 - Location Photos uploaded to thread (See Below). Full synopsis, cast list, and poster to follow over the weekend. We're shooting on a Canon 5D Mark II with an assortment of lenses and a Lensbaby. Through some tests tonight, we figured out our audio game plan and now the focus is on SFX makeup. This is my first fest since Hero Fest, so I'm pretty pumped to be back in the game.

You can check out some of my previous entries here:

ZombieFest -- BRAINS!!: Official Thread (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=34466):: The Film
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wYkWuv-4Lg&feature=PlayList&p=3504EE73DB823565&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1)Sci-Fest -- Signal Decay: Official Thread (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=46465) :: The Film (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvz5jpxWmis&feature=player_profilepage)
Hero Fest -- Just-Us League: Official Thread (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=59895) :: The Film (http://www.youtube.com/user/MisplacedPlanet#p/a/280A89DBF836E98B/2/-vqyq8kDAUo)

Shaun Patrick
07-30-2009, 02:20 PM
Oct 20th -- Location Photos

Everything takes place in an empty parking lot. Location is in beautiful and scenic New Jersey.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Lot6a_LocationShots001.gif http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Lot6a_LocationShots002.gif

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Lot6a_LocationShots003.gif http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Lot6a_LocationShots004.gif

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Lot6a_LocationShots005.gif

Shaun Patrick
07-30-2009, 02:23 PM
http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/BTS_1.gif

Shaun (Camera/Co-Director), Steve (Co-Director) waiting to catch radio, and Shawn (Ben).

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/BTS_3.gif

Aaron afraid of migrating birds.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/OnSetADR_1.gif

With a storm coming in, wind was a major issue on set. In addition to wild lines we picked up during the daytime, we had to keep the actors a little longer for some on-set ADR in our cars. We kept the doors open to prevent it from sounding like the inside of a car but we'll see what happens. At the very least we have it.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/OnSetADR_2.gif

Another on-set ADR still. We had been transferring files all day and pulling selects as we went just in case of the need for ADR--so the whole thing was actually done in an hour.

Shaun Patrick
07-30-2009, 02:23 PM
All uncorrected. First two are with traditional lenses. The third is with a Lensbaby.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_1.jpg

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_2.jpg

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_3.jpg

RodThompson
07-30-2009, 03:48 PM
Nice! Welcome back!

ZazaCast
07-30-2009, 10:17 PM
Glad you decided to jump in...Welcome back!
(now I have to go back to the DVX archives and look up your film)

EastCoast Rules!

Rodney V. Smith
07-30-2009, 10:29 PM
Welcome to the madness

Brian Parker
08-02-2009, 05:04 PM
Another one's in. Welcome!

Shaun Patrick
10-20-2009, 07:29 PM
10/20 - Thread Updated - See First Post

ZazaCast
10-20-2009, 08:28 PM
Location is in beautiful and scenic New Jersey.

What exit?

Shaun Patrick
10-21-2009, 05:48 AM
Exit 7a for the location. I live near exit 10.

Shaun Patrick
10-21-2009, 09:53 AM
Has anyone out there used a Lensbaby (http://www.lensbaby.com/) in their productions yet. Our story deals a lot with the sudden onset of blindness. Any tips on usage are certainly welcome as we just picked it up yesterday.

Shaun Patrick
10-22-2009, 09:24 AM
First post (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703546&postcount=1) updated with Cast/Crew.

More glamorous updates to follow after the shoot tomorrow.

Shaun Patrick
10-24-2009, 11:11 AM
http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/OnSetADR_1.gif (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703549&postcount=3)

BTS Pictures Uploaded - Click on Picture to See Post

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/ShawnStill_2.gif (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703546&postcount=1)

Actor Stills added - Click on Picture to See Post

Shaun Patrick
10-24-2009, 11:12 AM
10/24 - Shoot Complete

Shoot went great and we luckily missed the rain. Wind was a major issue and we had to do some On-Set ADR in our cars before we wrapped the actors. All in all, an exhausting day but we're very happy with how the footage looks. Right now, I'm transcoding the H264 files from the 5D Mark II into the ProRes format--so I will have uncorrected captures up later in the day.

Shaun Patrick
10-24-2009, 06:13 PM
http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_3.jpg (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703550&postcount=4)

Frame Grabs: Round 1 - Click on Picture to see Post

Shaun Patrick
10-25-2009, 09:34 AM
Poster and synopsis added to first post - Click Here (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703546&postcount=1)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Poster1.jpg (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=1703546&postcount=1)

Plus, a little house cleaning/organization on the first post. Look for updates every day as we approach Oct. 30th.

TMerry
10-25-2009, 02:47 PM
Can't get over seeing people shooting films on small cameras. Your on the set photos and you holding the camera has got me intrigued, can't wait to see the final look!

The ouija says YES.

Shaun Patrick
10-25-2009, 02:56 PM
Yeah, it was definitely an interesting experience. Since it was a lot of hand-held camera work, the smaller camera actually caused less back fatigue compared to a HPX--that was definitely nice. With that said, the pain of the H264 transcode and the double system sound record are definitely pretty annoying. Still, the camera produces a stunning image.

Shaun Patrick
10-25-2009, 09:44 PM
First rough pass done. Looking good but lots of work to be done. Time to sleep.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-26-2009, 09:34 AM
Lots of great info in this thread. Well done.

MAH

Shaun Patrick
10-26-2009, 10:35 AM
Thanks for the kind words, Michael. More great stuff still to come.

Shaun Patrick
10-26-2009, 10:51 AM
More frame grabs--all uncorrected. Picture should be locked tonight or tomorrow at some point, so I'll be able to put up some color corrected grabs.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_4.jpg
Frame above was shot with the 5D Mark II using a Lensbaby. All the warping is an optical effect--nothing was done in post. Basically the Lensbaby creates a focus "sweet spot" that can be moved around as you shoot. For the film, we're using it to simulate the main character's disorientation with his surroundings.

Check out more about the Lensbaby here (http://www.lensbaby.com)

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_5.jpg
Filmed with a 20-200 zoom lens. Stock lens that came with the Mark II but still pretty good glass overall.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_6.jpg
One more with the Lensbaby. Here the focus "sweet spot" is really evident. Optically, though, the glass is kind of cheap--so there's a definite step down in resolution from the stock lens.

Shaun Patrick
10-27-2009, 08:32 AM
Fine cut is done. Should be picture locked tonight. Then the actual fun begins--the color corection, scoring, and sound design sprint to the finish line.

Shaun Patrick
10-27-2009, 02:05 PM
Last batch of uncorrected grabs. Been an interesting process working with the h264 files coming from the Mark II. In the transcode, we went the ProRes 422 (HQ) router rather than the XDCAM-HD route. In ProRes, there's definitely a little difference in gamma.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_7.jpg

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_8.jpg

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/Still_9.jpg

Keth Andril
10-27-2009, 04:30 PM
I'm excited about this one. I really like the concept you're working with

Charli
10-27-2009, 06:21 PM
Good luck! That guy is either in pain or he's constipated, looks like pain, poor sap.

Shaun Patrick
10-27-2009, 07:41 PM
I'm excited about this one. I really like the concept you're working with

Thanks, Keith. Fingers crossed that it comes out alright.


Good luck! That guy is either in pain or he's constipated, looks like pain, poor sap.

Thanks, Charli. The constipation would take it in an even more horrific direction.

Shaun Patrick
10-28-2009, 08:19 AM
Picture lock. Halfway through the process of matching ADR and location sound. Wind was a killer on this production.

ramsaur
10-28-2009, 12:56 PM
Canon 5D Mark II ?

Shaun Patrick
10-28-2009, 01:33 PM
Yes, Canon 5D Mark II with stock lens and a Lensbaby Composer.

ramsaur
10-28-2009, 01:41 PM
Nice! I'm on the one down from that. But wish I had the 7D. Cool. Your grabs looking pretty interesting as to what your film will be about. I'll be looking forward to it.

Shaun Patrick
10-28-2009, 02:00 PM
Thanks, Ramsaur.

Shaun Patrick
10-29-2009, 10:37 PM
Working on the compression now. In the meantime, so CC'd grabs

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_1.jpg

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_2.jpg

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_4.jpg

Rodney V. Smith
10-29-2009, 10:38 PM
Nice. Creates a great look for the film. Lookign forward to seeign this.

Shaun Patrick
10-29-2009, 10:40 PM
Thanks, Rodney. Steve (the co-director and editor) did an incredible job on the CC.

Shaun Patrick
10-30-2009, 12:51 AM
Uploaded. Time for sleep.

The Tall One
10-30-2009, 08:24 AM
I love that something as mundane as a parking lot can become so scary.

Shaun Patrick
10-30-2009, 08:27 AM
Yeah, man. After seeing the cut, I'm only going to use valet parking from now on.

Marlon Ladd
10-30-2009, 08:48 AM
Hey, Shaun. I don't know how the heck I missed this thread. I was looking to see if I'd been here and I hadn't. WTF? Well, anyway, glad I stopped through and I'm looking forward to seeing your film.

Shaun Patrick
10-30-2009, 08:54 AM
Thank, Marlon. I created the thread back in August but I only started throwing content up here last week.

The Tall One
10-30-2009, 09:06 AM
Man! I just love the cut of the film I just saw. So creepy. I mean damn, I was there and I still didn't know what was going to happen next.

Shaun Patrick
10-30-2009, 09:27 AM
Thanks Aaron. You were great in the film.

Matt Harris
10-30-2009, 11:21 AM
love the poster and grabs! this looks good shaun, i'm looking forward.

Blaine
10-30-2009, 12:41 PM
Looking forward to seeing this. I saw "Brains" a while back and loved it.

Shaun Patrick
10-30-2009, 12:43 PM
Thanks, Blaine. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Zombiefest. Pretty crazy.

Shaun Patrick
10-30-2009, 04:27 PM
Lot 6A (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=178922) - Shaun Patrick - Uploaded - Approved

Booya. Ready to rock. Can't wait to see the films.

Shaun Patrick
10-31-2009, 07:52 AM
Before the craziness, I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone who worked on the film. We could've never turned it around in a week without all of your hard work. We're going to keep tweaking the cut but the one submitted is 99% there and something to be really proud of. So, Aaron (Dave), Shawn (Ben), and Steve (Co-Director/Editor)--big thanks and I can't wait to work on another project with you guys.

The peeps involved.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/BTS_5.jpg

Me framing the shot while Steve--doing what he does best--mugs for the camera

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/BTS_6.jpg

Shawn acting up a storm. He was great in the film (as you'll see today) and a great sport as Steve and I would just yell random direction at him during takes.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/BTS_3.gif

Already posted this one but Aaron deserves a lot of credit for both playing Dave in the film and then booming whenever he wasn't on camera.

The finally, the last of the CC'd grabs.

http://misplacedplanet.com/shaunboyle/Lot6a/CC_3.jpg

Happy Halloween, everyone.

EditPhish
11-01-2009, 02:35 AM
It looked good, especially at the beginning... however, I have to say I kinda feel like the effect you used after he got hit with the ball was way over the top.

I really did like that in the middle of the movie the radio started broadcasting about this unknown emergency... it added a lot of tension not to be able to hear it exactly. It kept me gripped.

The sound was really good, and matched the look perfectly.

Overall I enjoyed it, so good work!

Shaun Patrick
11-01-2009, 06:01 AM
It looked good, especially at the beginning... however, I have to say I kinda feel like the effect you used after he got hit with the ball was way over the top.

I really did like that in the middle of the movie the radio started broadcasting about this unknown emergency... it added a lot of tension not to be able to hear it exactly. It kept me gripped.

The sound was really good, and matched the look perfectly.

Overall I enjoyed it, so good work!

Thanks for the kind words, EditPhish. Glad the radio stuff kept you gripped.

MrFluffy
11-01-2009, 06:52 AM
Very enjoyable but maybe the visual disturbances were overplayed.
It would have been cool had Dave seemed more threatening or monsterish .

Cool stuff.

Shaun Patrick
11-01-2009, 08:09 AM
Thanks, Mr. Fluffy. Some stuff to consider for the after competition cut. We could easily do some VFX on Dave.

Great feedback.

dust'n the callipygous
11-01-2009, 09:16 AM
wasn't really sure what was going on with the guys a little ways in (zombies? just plain crazy?), but i liked that. i'd say good work, especially on such a limited, normally uninteresting location

Shaun Patrick
11-01-2009, 09:24 AM
wasn't really sure what was going on with the guys a little ways in (zombies? just plain crazy?), but i liked that. i'd say good work, especially on such a limited, normally uninteresting location

Thanks, dust'n. As we tweak the cut, we're still having the debate on how ambiguous to leave it. Lot of good feedback so far on to make some subtle improvements.

Glad you enjoyed it.

Marlon Ladd
11-01-2009, 01:44 PM
Hey, Shaun. You've got a really good film here. The cinematography, editing and music were sweet. The film effect was a bit too much (just a tiny bit) in some spots and I agree that it would have been more threatening if we see a monster. One thing I would add would be little subtle sound effects. They make a big difference. Like when one of the guys squeezes the ball in his hand, when the guy falls to the ground and also when he grips the bat. We should be able to hear that squeeze. The camera is right there with the CU, so should our ears be. If it's in there and I just didn't hear it then I'll shut my trap. LOL.

Anyway, you've got a good product here and I can see this being a longer film maybe. Good work.

Shaun Patrick
11-01-2009, 07:06 PM
Hey, Shaun. You've got a really good film here. The cinematography, editing and music were sweet. The film effect was a bit too much (just a tiny bit) in some spots and I agree that it would have been more threatening if we see a monster. One thing I would add would be little subtle sound effects. They make a big difference. Like when one of the guys squeezes the ball in his hand, when the guy falls to the ground and also when he grips the bat. We should be able to hear that squeeze. The camera is right there with the CU, so should our ears be. If it's in there and I just didn't hear it then I'll shut my trap. LOL.

Anyway, you've got a good product here and I can see this being a longer film maybe. Good work.

Marlon, thanks for the thoughtful feedback. Totally agree with you on the additional foley--we've already started recording the additional material for the final cut of the film.

Blaine
11-01-2009, 07:26 PM
Shaun, thanks for sharing this one. I have to agree with the others that the effect got to be grating after a while but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. It seemed to play into and give credence to Ben's paranoia (brought on from the head injury?)

I had the feeling that Ben began to see Dave as a zombie BUT when he got within sight that it was all in Ben's head. I like those kind of stories and I liked this. Simple, yet effective. You make the most of minimal locations...just like you did on "Brains".

Good job.

Charli
11-01-2009, 07:56 PM
While I felt the tension of the one individual I didn't really think this fell into the monster category, but maybe instead a twilight zone category.

The distress felt real, so good job for the actor, but I didn't feel there was enough story in the film itself.

Michael Anthony Horrigan
11-01-2009, 08:58 PM
Interesting. I too found the look/sound very irritating but I'm guessing that's what you were going for. I also didn't think the toss of the ball was that deep in the woods.

Still, the movie sat with me a bit after viewing and I think with some polish and following some of the helpful suggestions already suggested that this could be quite good.

Not to say I didn't like it as is, because I did. I'm actually off to watch it again for another look.

MAH

Chris_Keaton
11-01-2009, 09:19 PM
Liked the feel and look of the piece, but the monster aspect seemed tacked on to me. We pay so much attention and care to the guy suffering from head trauma that I thought the radio alerts were in his head. Otherwise good job.

mobiledeli
11-01-2009, 09:51 PM
Visually engaging.

Who's the monster? You did a great job executing the "monster" in this fest. The concept of "who's the monster" is a very clever and original idea. Maybe a little shorter, and it'd be nice to get to know the two characters a little more in the beginning.

The visual effects are unbelievable.

It's awesome. There ya go.

Now. Perfect.

Norm Sanders
11-02-2009, 01:21 AM
Great to see another entry from you! I was expecting a comedy, as that's what I've always known & enjoyed your work from, so it was with mixed feelings that I watched this, as it was refreshing to see you explore a different emotion, but then I was bummed because I was wanting comedy! :)

Nonetheless, a solid entry, and I REALLY dug the performances. My only quip with this would be on the monster end of things ... hoping to have seen a little bit more of the guy's face, or something after the strike with the baseball bat ... because I feel we were built all the way up to that moment, but never really got to experience what we were building up to ... even if it would have been perhaps more of a horrified look on the lead's face to convey what he was seeing.

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 07:53 AM
Great to see another entry from you! I was expecting a comedy, as that's what I've always known & enjoyed your work from, so it was with mixed feelings that I watched this, as it was refreshing to see you explore a different emotion, but then I was bummed because I was wanting comedy! :)

Nonetheless, a solid entry, and I REALLY dug the performances. My only quip with this would be on the monster end of things ... hoping to have seen a little bit more of the guy's face, or something after the strike with the baseball bat ... because I feel we were built all the way up to that moment, but never really got to experience what we were building up to ... even if it would have been perhaps more of a horrified look on the lead's face to convey what he was seeing.

Thanks for the comments, Norm. I hope all is well! Hopefully, I'll have some time to watch "The Tell" in the next couple of days. I'm sure you bring the awesome.

--

Sorry to disappoint on the comedy end of things--was trying to do something different. Based on a lot of the feedback, there are a lot of simple ways to improve the ending. Definitely some VFX can be added on Dave to make him seem more monstrous to Ben. Also, I think intercutting the radio announcement with Dave's audio at the very end will make Ben's tension a little more tense.

Thanks for the feedback.

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 07:54 AM
Visually engaging.

Who's the monster? You did a great job executing the "monster" in this fest. The concept of "who's the monster" is a very clever and original idea. Maybe a little shorter, and it'd be nice to get to know the two characters a little more in the beginning.

The visual effects are unbelievable.

It's awesome. There ya go.

Now. Perfect.

Thanks for the kind word, mobiledeli. I love that you dug our interpretation of the monster.

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 07:58 AM
While I felt the tension of the one individual I didn't really think this fell into the monster category, but maybe instead a twilight zone category.

The distress felt real, so good job for the actor, but I didn't feel there was enough story in the film itself.

Thanks for the feedback, Charli. With the monster end of things, I definitely feel it falls into the guidelines outlined by Jason and Larry. We were trying to do something a little different.

With the story, as you know with these contests, it's a fine line between how much story/character development you can fit into six minutes. We'll definitely keep this in mind as we tweak the cut.



Liked the feel and look of the piece, but the monster aspect seemed tacked on to me. We pay so much attention and care to the guy suffering from head trauma that I thought the radio alerts were in his head. Otherwise good job.

Thanks for the feedback. Like I said, I think we were trying to do something different with the idea of the monster. With a little VFX, I think David can be made to be more monstrous but I think the tension of the film is created by concentrating on Ben's confusion and not on the monster. Still I think there's room for tweaking.

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 08:03 AM
Interesting. I too found the look/sound very irritating but I'm guessing that's what you were going for. I also didn't think the toss of the ball was that deep in the woods.

Still, the movie sat with me a bit after viewing and I think with some polish and following some of the helpful suggestions already suggested that this could be quite good.

Not to say I didn't like it as is, because I did. I'm actually off to watch it again for another look.

MAH

Thanks for the feedback, Michael.

I've been kind of disappointed by all the irritating visuals/sound feedback. I definitely think it's a valid point but I think it's made the film easy to dismiss.

What saddens me is that I think the craft of what went into creating the look and feel of the film is being overlooked. It wasn't a random decision--a good portion of the effects were created optically while shooting. Plus, I think we really tried hard to make sure the audience was oriented with clean shots throughout the final sequences.

Still, I can only defend what's on screen and the feedback has definitely been interesting.

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 08:04 AM
Shaun, thanks for sharing this one. I have to agree with the others that the effect got to be grating after a while but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. It seemed to play into and give credence to Ben's paranoia (brought on from the head injury?)

I had the feeling that Ben began to see Dave as a zombie BUT when he got within sight that it was all in Ben's head. I like those kind of stories and I liked this. Simple, yet effective. You make the most of minimal locations...just like you did on "Brains".

Good job.

Hey Blaine, thanks for watching. I always love the minimal locations because you can just concentrate on the visuals and storytelling. No reason to complicate things in a 6 min short.

I definitely agree with your interpretation of the film.

Hope all is well!

Shaun

Edgen
11-02-2009, 10:40 AM
I don't want to say what's already said. I think we know the monster or face could have been shown more. Perhaps have other 'zombies' emerge from the forest. You have an empty lot with two characters. empty. secluded. alone. then, those characters are attacked by a multitude of others?

I enjoyed the performance of the lead. The guy probably held a grudge too long, but that could have ben cut down in the edit and the 'monster vision'. :)

looking forward to your next entry!
/j

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 10:47 AM
I don't want to say what's already said. I think we know the monster or face could have been shown more. Perhaps have other 'zombies' emerge from the forest. You have an empty lot with two characters. empty. secluded. alone. then, those characters are attacked by a multitude of others?

I enjoyed the performance of the lead. The guy probably held a grudge too long, but that could have ben cut down in the edit and the 'monster vision'. :)

looking forward to your next entry!
/j

Thanks for the feedback, Edgen. I can't wait to watch yours.

While I think Dave can be more monstrous to Ben--Dave is a monster to Ben only.

Sprocketboy
11-02-2009, 12:41 PM
You pulled off an interesting little gem here. My only complaint is how long we experience the acid trip with the main character. Cut that down to half. I did like how you messed with the viewer by editing back and forth to the 'bat swinging' main character in a neutral and batting position. You made me unsure how it was going to turn out. Good job.

WilderWorks
11-02-2009, 12:43 PM
Hey Shaun Patrick! Long time no see.

The short looks great and the visual storytelling is seamless.

I like that you stick to a single unified idea - you set it up, present it, and pay it off, all with efficiency and restraint. A great short shouldn't be a feature film compressed to a few minutes: it should be a single event. A moment of decision. Shorts have their own language and structure, and I think this is a good example of their proper shape.

One point of debate is how monstrous the "zombie" should be. I think that the thrill (and the central point) is the uncertainty: is he a monster, or is this a delusion? Unfortunately, at present, the "zombie" is on screen long enough that I conclude that he is NOT a monster. I think you should tip the scale slightly back toward monster - without tipping it all the way. Perhaps show him slightly less frequently, or for less time. Perhaps obscure him more in shadow. Perhaps intercut quick flashes of him walking more like a zombie, or a few frames of him looking monstrous. Just enough - not too much. Keep the question unresolved, and unresolvable.

Secondly, people are complaining about the "over use" of the "effect." I think this is ridiculous. This "effect" isn't an effect - it's the central event of the movie - it's what the movie is about. It communicates the fractured and warped point of view of someone with a head injury. Complaining that it's "over used" is like complaining that they overused the animated characters in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It's not a gimmick or a trick - it's the core storytelling tool. This criticism stinks of someone either groping around for something negative to say, or simply missing the point entirely.

My only real criticism would be that the radio announcer is a bit too monotone for my taste. I am a frequent NPR listener, and so, I know they can be dry. However, I listen to NPR in California, where we regularly hear announcements of evacuations for wildfires and such. There is a bit more urgency and importance to their tone at those times - a little excited delight. They love making those announcements, sounding concerned but stern. I think slightly more oumph in that performance would play better for me.

That's it! Again, solid movie. And yeah, more comedies dude. Then we can all vote you down for being just a silly comedy. ;-)

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 12:54 PM
You pulled off an interesting little gem here. My only complaint is how long we experience the acid trip with the main character. Cut that down to half. I did like how you messed with the viewer by editing back and forth to the 'bat swinging' main character in a neutral and batting position. You made me unsure how it was going to turn out. Good job.

Thanks for the kind words, Sprocketboy. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

ramsaur
11-02-2009, 04:03 PM
Hey this was pretty good. Your vfx were really good. So was the sound mix and acting, as well as camera work!

Maximus
11-02-2009, 06:10 PM
One of my favorites. It looked and sounded great! The music reminded me a bit of the original NOTLD... that funky 60s electronica.

I was kind of hoping that what we were experiencing through Ben's eyes, was his transformation into a zombie. At the climax David is revealed to be human, and Ben is now fully zombified.

I don't get the title. Name of the parking lot I'm guessing...?

Great job!:beer:

Shaun Patrick
11-02-2009, 06:47 PM
One of my favorites. It looked and sounded great! The music reminded me a bit of the original NOTLD... that funky 60s electronica.

I was kind of hoping that what we were experiencing through Ben's eyes, was his transformation into a zombie. At the climax David is revealed to be human, and Ben is now fully zombified.

I don't get the title. Name of the parking lot I'm guessing...?

Great job!:beer:

Thanks for the thoughts, Maximus. Glad you dug it. The title refers to the name of the parking lot.

The idea about the zombie transformation is really cool--definitely an interesting direction to take it in.

Shaun Patrick
11-03-2009, 07:32 AM
EDIT: Going to re watch this one and try to understand more of what I did not understand.

Overall everything else was really good. The acting was pretty good, the camera work was great, I love the 5D, the effects were great and a good choice of music.

Thanks for watching, Ramsaur. I saw your post before you edited, so I'll hold off on answering the questions until you're able to watch again.

I agree, the 5D is great. It was a lot of fun to shoot with--I really like the form factor--and the post production wasn't as bad as I expected. Location sound recording sucked but we won't make some of the same mistakes again the next time.

Still need to watch both of your entries. Work has been busy but I'll have feedback by the end of the week.

Kholi
11-03-2009, 12:27 PM
Shaun, I think you had a solid short concept here and one that you wouldn't get you in too far over your head. I do like the approach, telling a story from a distorted POV that's an active participant throughout and I really think that you accomplished the effect that you were trying to pull off.

Namely, in the bits and pieces of content where your character flounders around with the baseball bat, using it as a crutch to stand. It really showed there, I thought those were interesting shots.

Furthermore, I think the tone struck is great and mostly consistent. Tone is a pretty difficult thing to accomplish, honestly, and takes serious fine tuning before, during and after. On the subject of tone, I did get the sense that I was lost on why these two were angry at each other from the get go.

They started off annoyed, it looks like, and progresses swiftly. Again, like most shorts, no need to establish emotional connections in six minutes. I don't know if there was a reason to have these two out on each other, though. Maybe to give a reason to have the baseball flung at his face? Although, the batter looks away anyway, so I'm not sure if that's a reason either.


Maybe it's so that, after the poor guy got beaned in the head, he would have a reason to get angry and throw the ball? I'm fine with that, however it did come off as forced. In addition to that, there were so many baseballs on the ground, what was the significance in chasing one into the woods when they could pitch several others?

Skipping all the small tid bits, it was quite interesting how you worked a zombie into the fray. Subtle but I didn't see it coming. I honestly didn't know what to expect so that's good as well. I don't know how the end sings to me, not bad or good just "done".

If I had to, or was asked to, suggest anything it would be to cut it much shorter than it is now. Furthermore, in the future (next short or project), maybe feel out the logistics of the situation a bit more, so that they come off as authentic and less forced.

Thanks for showing, man. Great use of the 5D and its strenghts/weaknesses.

Shaun Patrick
11-03-2009, 01:10 PM
Shaun, I think you had a solid short concept here and one that you wouldn't get you in too far over your head. I do like the approach, telling a story from a distorted POV that's an active participant throughout and I really think that you accomplished the effect that you were trying to pull off.

Namely, in the bits and pieces of content where your character flounders around with the baseball bat, using it as a crutch to stand. It really showed there, I thought those were interesting shots.

Furthermore, I think the tone struck is great and mostly consistent. Tone is a pretty difficult thing to accomplish, honestly, and takes serious fine tuning before, during and after. On the subject of tone, I did get the sense that I was lost on why these two were angry at each other from the get go.

They started off annoyed, it looks like, and progresses swiftly. Again, like most shorts, no need to establish emotional connections in six minutes. I don't know if there was a reason to have these two out on each other, though. Maybe to give a reason to have the baseball flung at his face? Although, the batter looks away anyway, so I'm not sure if that's a reason either.


Maybe it's so that, after the poor guy got beaned in the head, he would have a reason to get angry and throw the ball? I'm fine with that, however it did come off as forced. In addition to that, there were so many baseballs on the ground, what was the significance in chasing one into the woods when they could pitch several others?

Skipping all the small tid bits, it was quite interesting how you worked a zombie into the fray. Subtle but I didn't see it coming. I honestly didn't know what to expect so that's good as well. I don't know how the end sings to me, not bad or good just "done".

If I had to, or was asked to, suggest anything it would be to cut it much shorter than it is now. Furthermore, in the future (next short or project), maybe feel out the logistics of the situation a bit more, so that they come off as authentic and less forced.

Thanks for showing, man. Great use of the 5D and its strenghts/weaknesses.

Thanks for the review, Kholi. I knew you'd bring it.

Really some great observations here.

The two characters are mad at each other in the beginning of the film. There was an additional exchange between the two of them filmed but it was eventually dropped as we neared a picture lock because of poor coverage. We just couldn't get it to work. You do hear audio from that exchange ("Don't hit me, bro") at the very end of the movie. In the cut scene, Dave reacts to Ben hitting a line drive directly at him and Dave's anger is a little more apparent.

Good point on chasing the baseball into the woods with some many others there. With Ben injured, the game is over so you could argue that it's logical for Dave to retrieve the ball since they're not going to play anymore. Plus, it's a good time for Dave to give Ben a little space.

Thanks for the props on the Zombie stuff.

I totally agree with you that it should be shorter and we're already at work on having a new cut ready when the competition is over.

Shaun

jasonthewho
11-03-2009, 04:50 PM
Really enjoyed this one. Simple, and effective. Good performances that teeter on manic in the best way possible. Love the ambiguous ending.

I started getting weary of the effect, but I think if you are going to cut the film shorter, that will probably fix that.

Great work!

Shaun Patrick
11-04-2009, 07:44 AM
Thanks for the kind words, Jason. I think Shawn really knocked it out of the park with his performance. Glad you enjoyed it.

ZazaCast
11-05-2009, 03:45 PM
Good film! This was a lot of fun to watch and kept my interest. Yes, the 'effect' was getting a little old, but like Jason said, once you tighten it up a bit, you'll be good to go.

Back to the effect, I think what bugged me was that it was used on shots OTHER then POV... If this was what it was like to be in his head, we should only see (and hear) the effected stuff in the POV shots. I'd love to see what it looked like edited this way.

Anywho... great concept, great film! Congrats to the cast & crew. I'm looking forward to your future films. Very strong entry.

hoz
11-05-2009, 07:46 PM
this was a cool idea. liked that a lot. as others have said, maybe keep the effect to the pov and show all other looks as normal. it would be way creepier. and i kinda half expected the dizzy guy to begin laughing madly. he did a great job btw. cool sound effects too. and good use of one location- a parking lot. cool!

TMerry
11-06-2009, 02:27 AM
Cool short! I started feeling dizzy and disoriented, so great job of pulling me into the
world of the protagonist. I was a little confused at the end whether or not he was tripping from the blow on the head he received, or there really was an emergency going on, or whether or not he knocked out his friend, or if his friend had turned to a zombie. I would have liked a little more exposition, even if you were going to leave us guessing in the end. That said, when it first got started I was a little skeptical about a horror film with parking attendants during broad daylight BUT, I got into it & I really enjoyed this. I thought your work with the lens baby (unless that was post effects) turned out excellent.

GOOD STUFF!! :-)

killacam
11-06-2009, 03:26 AM
pretty good, I like how at the end it's unclear whether his friend was really trying to attack him or if he had just killed his friend for no good reason. had a good subtly creepy and disorienting vibe.

Lawsuit_Boy
11-06-2009, 07:32 PM
From the beginning, I wondered what type of situation was being set up. The film seems to rely on slight comic relief and slight editing/cinematographic gimmicks to get the viewer to the first big detail: radio broadcasts of crucial information. Then, AHA! A sort of take on the zombie genre! I think this was an interesting way to approach the genre and it kept the audience guessing. The end was a nice moment of mystery that leans a little more toward one of the two possible outcomes.

However, I did have some qualms with my viewing. Nothing detrimental, but a lot of things could have elevated this work.

I'll start with the cinematography. Seeing that this was shot in a 5d mk2, I was expecting some crisp, well-colored and well-rendered images. I've seen lots of amazing stuff come out of the camera and while this didn't look bad by any means, it did not tap the potential of the setup.
As far as the direction of the camera goes, the film was just too bouncy and too subjective from the perspective of the man with the head injury. It didn't excite the viewer and it didn't illicit a more chaotic atmosphere. The film could have benefited greatly from some wider shots set up to establish a more direct line of conflict between the injured man, the man who went in the woods, and the atmosphere itself. The camera can create such heart-stopping suspense even with the most simple, rhythmic cuts between longer shots, mediums, closes, etc. and by just drawing the audience in.

This might have been out of your ability on location, but some wides set up elsewhere to establish a bleak, foreboding tone of the local atmosphere would have been nice. With a few extras, it could even have developed a quicker understanding of the situation at hand. Because the film does fall into abstraction by questioning the protagonist's sanity. When you mix a question of sanity, a head injury, and a possible zombie apocalypse, you walk in thin ice (or a tight rope). I just feel like the film could have been more visually arresting if the camera wasn't bobbing around and constantly racking in and out of focus with barrel distortion, Deakinizer-like macro blurring, and odd, digital lens flares. The style just doesn't match up to the images and story. More simple construction would have helped hide the camera and suck the viewer in easier.

I know it seems like I just tore the film apart visually, but it really wasn't a bad viewing. Once the ball got rolling (bad pun, sorry), the film did take off and I enjoyed seeing where it went. The acting was serviceable, the audio had very few bumps and bruises (although some adr was present and some of the sound futzing from the radio wasn't quite accurate as far as perspective), and the premise was interesting. It just feels like it needs more development and a slightly less frenetic construction. Disorientation can work when the audience is brought back to a calm, telling conclusion. But here, it seemed to hinder the film.

These were my primary concerns about an otherwise interesting and at times compelling film. Nice job, overall! :thumbsup:

cinealma
11-07-2009, 10:51 AM
This was an interesting film in its approach. I don't think the disorientation was that bad as a viewer, however, I think it should have been changed up a little here and there, that way it doesn't seem like one LONG effect.

I thought the actors did a great job. Subject matter of the film is the kind of stuff I'm really into and I thought you did a nice job relating it.

Good job. Thanks for sharing!

Shaun Patrick
11-07-2009, 01:17 PM
Glad you enjoyed it, cinealma. Thanks for watching.

Shaun Patrick
11-07-2009, 01:21 PM
Back to the effect, I think what bugged me was that it was used on shots OTHER then POV... If this was what it was like to be in his head, we should only see (and hear) the effected stuff in the POV shots. I'd love to see what it looked like edited this way.


Thank for the feedback, Zaza. We're definitely aware of the POV convention but we made the decision early to extend the effect beyond POV because it seemed very pedestrian that way. Personally, I believe, there are enough clean shots in the end to orient the audience to what's happening and I think the effects on the third person shots help to enforce the confusion that the main character is feeling.

Thanks for watching. Glad you enjoyed it.

Shaun Patrick
11-07-2009, 01:26 PM
I'll start with the cinematography. Seeing that this was shot in a 5d mk2, I was expecting some crisp, well-colored and well-rendered images. I've seen lots of amazing stuff come out of the camera and while this didn't look bad by any means, it did not tap the potential of the setup.


Thanks for the in depth feedback, Lawsuit_Boy. I'll only take issue with the quote above--should every film using the 5D Mark II look "crisp, well-colored, and well rendered"? Certainly on the technical level, the Mark 2 is capable of some pretty amazing stuff but isn't cinematography all about distinct looks? We shot on a drab, overcast day--which certainly plays into the feeling, tone of the whole film. Plus, in post the film was heavily color-corrected to highlight the orange of the reflective vests and cones. Certainly, your critique is a matter of taste but thinking certainly went into the overall look and style of the film.

Shaun Patrick
11-07-2009, 01:27 PM
pretty good, I like how at the end it's unclear whether his friend was really trying to attack him or if he had just killed his friend for no good reason. had a good subtly creepy and disorienting vibe.

Exactly what we were going for killacam. Glad you enjoyed it--thanks for the feedback.

killacam
11-07-2009, 03:32 PM
I watched it again by the way- great sound design. The visual effect is probably more obvious at first but the sound effects are very well done. also, you converted this to 24p right?

Shaun Patrick
11-07-2009, 03:43 PM
Thanks, killacam. Actually, it's in 30p. The Mark II doesn't shoot 24p yet (there's a firmware update on top for 2010) and we just decided to stay in 30p.

Lawsuit_Boy
11-07-2009, 04:09 PM
Thanks for the in depth feedback, Lawsuit_Boy. I'll only take issue with the quote above--should every film using the 5D Mark II look "crisp, well-colored, and well rendered"? Certainly on the technical level, the Mark 2 is capable of some pretty amazing stuff but isn't cinematography all about distinct looks? We shot on a drab, overcast day--which certainly plays into the feeling, tone of the whole film. Plus, in post the film was heavily color-corrected to highlight the orange of the reflective vests and cones. Certainly, your critique is a matter of taste but thinking certainly went into the overall look and style of the film.

The overcast certainly makes ANY shooter's job difficult.

I think my problem (after finally seeing still images) was from the compression. This isn't your fault as 50mb cuts down on the detail. I hope you don't think I was trying to insinuate that it looked really bad with that comment. I was just sort of comparing it in my own head with things I've seen fellows like Phil Bloom and http://vimeo.com/5410762 from Robin Risser.

So, once again, my problem was something obvious that has nothing to do with the way it was shot (compression). And while I agree, this portion is a subjective opinion about an aesthetic choice, I hold my stance. I think the film is really interesting and exciting enough, but if you were compelled, you could really add a lot to it. But, since most of the films in this fest won't really be touched up much more, this is purely hindsight. But hey, so are all critiques.

Shaun Patrick
11-07-2009, 04:19 PM
I took no offense from your initial comment--just defending our thinking about the look of the film. Also, based on the length of your response, I think there was definitely something in the film you responded too, so I definitely take (and value) the critique seriously. Personally, I think the lack of color (or drabness) adds to the tone of the film but we're not married to our color correction. We're definitely still tweaking and we'll experiment with some color correction options.

Again, thanks for taking the time to put together such a thoughful and thorough critique.

Best,

Shaun

Lawsuit_Boy
11-07-2009, 04:24 PM
I took no offense from your initial comment--just defending our thinking about the look of the film. Also, based on the length of your response, I think there was definitely something in the film you responded too, so I definitely take (and value) the critique seriously. Personally, I think the lack of color (or drabness) adds to the tone of the film but we're not married to our color correction. We're definitely still tweaking and we'll experiment with some color correction options.

Again, thanks for taking the time to put together such a thoughful and thorough critique.

Best,

Shaun

No problem. I totally understand and completely agree that the overcast sky does help the film. A bright, sunny day just wouldn't sit well. I think the drabness works well, it's just that the compressed file softened the image and washed a little of the contrast and detail away. I'd love to view it in hd.

I just really wanted to make sure you knew I was picking on the cinematography, but just trying to offer another perspective. I gave a really positive review to Dispatch the other day and just noticed that a few people are tearing my review apart in the thread. I even mentioned that it had been a few days since I saw it so I might have missed things, which I did. I just feel like my reviews have been met with conflict so far. In Lossfest, I reviewed all 63 or 64 films outside of my own as deeply as I did yours, and the reactions were much different. Very odd.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Once again, really cool take on the outbreak scenario.

Shaun Patrick
11-07-2009, 04:48 PM
Dude, no worries. I have a thick skin and totally appreciated the critique.

Yeah, the people ripping you apart on the Dispatch thread is BS. It's great to see someone take the time to give in depth critiques.

Lawsuit_Boy
11-07-2009, 05:00 PM
Dude, no worries. I have a thick skin and totally appreciated the critique.

Yeah, the people ripping you apart on the Dispatch thread is BS. Hudson just likes to hear himself argue about the axis of action. It's great to see someone take the time to give in depth critiques.

That's what we're all here for, is the critiques. I got lots for my film Tiny Dancer in lossfest and am always willing to return the favor.

I rewatched Dispatch and saw that the axis problem I noted wasn't really a problem. I just needed a fresh viewing before writing the review. I don't understand the over-sensitivity and defense mechanisms floating about lately. *shrug*

Noel Evans
11-08-2009, 02:51 PM
Hmmm I just had a quick read and saw peoples thoughts on the effect. I found it disorientating and disturbing. In my mind it did what it was meant to.

Also I just read your synopsis. I had no idea these guys were parking attendants. I wondered, why are these guys playing ball in a carpark? Although I thought it played out fairly well from there. The other thing that mildly bothered me was I didnt get why these guys were a bit miffed at each other to start with. I understand a level of competitive drive. But not to the extent it overflows to where Id continue playing carpark baseball if the other guy was being an asshat. Not sure that makes sense (talking about my comment). I understand there needed to be that element to move the story.

Anyway well done!

Shaun Patrick
11-10-2009, 08:17 AM
Hmmm I just had a quick read and saw peoples thoughts on the effect. I found it disorientating and disturbing. In my mind it did what it was meant to.

Also I just read your synopsis. I had no idea these guys were parking attendants. I wondered, why are these guys playing ball in a carpark? Although I thought it played out fairly well from there. The other thing that mildly bothered me was I didnt get why these guys were a bit miffed at each other to start with. I understand a level of competitive drive. But not to the extent it overflows to where Id continue playing carpark baseball if the other guy was being an asshat. Not sure that makes sense (talking about my comment). I understand there needed to be that element to move the story.

Anyway well done!

Thanks for the feedback, Noel. I don't know what to say about the whole carpark employee thing--I think the reflective vests, parking sign, and traffic cones are pretty much a dead giveaway. Hope it didn't take you out of the movie.

lawriejaffa
11-10-2009, 05:44 PM
This is a simple enough film - produced elegantly enough with limited resources, it feels quite fresh and contemporary in approach.

I enjoyed it - and its unique perspective of an incoming zombie - from the damanged mind's eye. I also liked that some thought obviously went into the ending.

Kudos for that. Of course in any normal horror film, our poor friends don't get too many chances before the baseball bat or bullet whaks the brain. In this case the character (acted competently enough) seriously challenges himself and his ability to protect himself, and to kill his friend.

Always a joy to shoot in an overcast sky and have everyone believe you should have used an ND filter. (Really you should have hehe.) The cinematography etc was functional and expressed well the idea of this man's damaged head. The 'effect' however did get a little tiring, and perhaps the pace slowed too much, at times wobbling the momentum of the story.

In all a fairly artsy entry, that i quite enjoyed. Well enough played sir!