Lawrie's Exciting Erotic Video Feedback Thread!

[lawriejaffa]

Yes my little darlings,

from the Adolescent American Yankee writing a tearful drama about a teen on the verge of suicide over the loss of a pink ipod, to the Ukranian arthouse drama decorated with the latest in synthesised electro soundtracks (with casts wearing clothes only i would consider fashionable hehe) I shall be providing charming feedback to them all!

While Lossfest saw the terrifying emergence of my Audio reviews (which comprised of me recording myself doing improvised responses...) a bit like the erotic Lawrie phone service actually (numbers will be included later in this post).

Press 1. for Sigmund Freud
Press 2. For Lucian Frued
Press 3. for Salvador Dali (he's popular in Bohemian circles.)

Anyway...

This time i shall be providing video feedback - yes VIDEO! I call it feedback because while one would normally say 'review' its just offensive really for a participant in the festival to 'review' their peers work. I should add that the feedback will be posted after at least the first round of voting.

The feedback will comprise of a focus on the ideas behind the story, the story itself, and the films purpose. These are qualities i consider important in a film and what i intend to focus on. However, i will discuss also other technical artistic elements, such as performances and cinematography, sound design etc and particularly writing.

The idea behind this is that they can help filmmakers with a more intellectual focussed discussion of their film - where as most feedback tends to focus on particular specific elements (most of which technical.)

It should also provide filmmakers with a kalaidescope of wonderful quotes (and yes im sure i did not spell kalasdcopse right... or is it kolosocopes ARGH.)

Because I am a narcisstic megalomaniac who likes to celebrate himself, akin to a man booking himself for his own entertainment in a room filled with magic mirrors... then of course It won't just be an ordinary feedback video!

We are going with a charming kitsch British perspective of 19th Parisian inspired eroticism with a hint of burlesque and debauchery. This is the only way i can motivate myself to such ridiculous lengths and the next stage of this exciting thread will be the audition of my wonderful assistant!

Yes, for while I'll have wine... suit and tails hehe she will be making her own additional comments in something a little more comfortable (though she may not have my sense of humour.)

So gentlemen... take a deep breath.

[Solomon Chase]

I look forward to your fantibulous feedback.

(nice avatar pic BTW)

[lawriejaffa]

(nice avatar pic BTW)


Solomon is this your way of flirting! If so i have demands you know, i expect hot chocolate and cookies - only saying (Actually im sure thats a sexual expression in Nevada) we'll not do that!

Here you go Solomon -

http://www.newagemedia.co.uk/me.jpg

Hehe and if there is a particulary discerning young lady who might be viewing ;) mioweee

[armisiano]

Joy. :)

[ZazaCast]

Oh... you're just beggin' to be bobbled!

[lawriejaffa]

The only difference between you Zaza and a hermaphodite prostitute is that he/she will add to the end of your line...

Oh... you're just beggin' to be bobbled 'giiiirlfriend'!

Its a pre-op thing probably...

And so the mods appreciate that i understand... my bizarre responsive post to dear Zaza will probably not last long here. But if it does, i honestly believe it will lead to the spread of Democracy in the Middle East (somewhere between Edinburgh and Inverness)

[ZazaCast]

Oh my!

[lawriejaffa]

Muhahaha, but yes this is a fun thread, which i believe will have useful info - and its also my apolagetic sorry i couldnt post more in all your film threads - er mega post! But the video and detail into your films i hope makes up for my somewhat anti-social little posting in all of your threads.

Will you gentlemen be fine letting me use footage during the review of your films? I'll make a list. That will at least give me some cutaways to drink the wine i'll be holding :P

[ZazaCast]

No problem using footage from "Miss Laid"...

[Rodney V. Smith]

Go ahead and use my footage. Knock yourself out.

[Brian Parker]

This'll be great...

[Lawsuit_Boy]

You stylish fellow, you. I eagerly await your video feedback on the films. It's always a pleasure listening to your comments, but now we get to see them performed for us by Orson Welles himself! (Really, you do bare a fair amount of resemblance to him. A young Welles, that is).

[lawriejaffa]

Thats a very kind compliment Lawsuit thank you - he is one of my favourites and was certainly a more handsome man than I *twiddles hair* yes yes, well except on weekends :)

Success in art means everything beyond our daily bread :)

[Zak Forsman]

I think its a fantastic idea and i hate to be the one to rain on a dvxfest parade, but introducing footage from the films while the fest is ongoing will disqualify them. you can subvert this by using stills as opposed to moving footage.

[lawriejaffa]

On the contrary Zak actually i think that fits even better with the theme of my video feedback (ie. it has a little 'period 20's dash to it) and hey - stills will look a lot sexier and classier i think anyway in this regard.

So my admirable friend worry not you are not raining on the dvxfest parade! I'll make sure to use stills!

Perhaps not those from Zaza's private collection because the ones we took from Miss Laid (when Whinnie the Pooh was playing the lead were a little too exotic!) It got dirty fast!

[Jeff Anderson]

Looking forward to seeing this - love to hear/see your thoughts on Bob & Sam. Feel free to take stills of course!

[Noel Evans]

Look forward to your review Lawrie. Especially since itll be a little dashing video.

[RodThompson]

You can use my footage if the review is good, if it's bad, then insert clips from "Miss Laid." :P

[dsto]

You may use my footage as long as you are kind and generous in your feedback (you should probably have the wine first...)
If you can't be kind...at least be honest! I really look forward to seeing these reviews!

[Chris_Keaton]

When are we going to see this masterpiece?

[lawriejaffa]

When your dead and buried Chris Keaton - when your dead and buried *shakes fist*

Hey mate hehe no not for another couple of weeks i think - its a mini epic!!! Im writing all the reviews and there quite detailed you know, (36 mini essays lol) to be performed on cam with my er assistant!!

It'll be fun, and can be useful i hope for use in promotional purposes by the filmmakers themselves (if they want to) as it will look like a review programme though its feedback/crit/advice not 'reviews' (i mean jeez that would be arrogant)

And im not arrogant... aaaam i? *bats eyelashes*

[Chris_Keaton]

When your dead and buried Chris Keaton - when your dead and buried *shakes fist*

Hey mate hehe no not for another couple of weeks i think - its a mini epic!!! Im writing all the reviews and there quite detailed you know, (36 mini essays lol) to be performed on cam with my er assistant!!

It'll be fun, and can be useful i hope for use in promotional purposes by the filmmakers themselves (if they want to) as it will look like a review programme though its feedback/crit/advice not 'reviews' (i mean jeez that would be arrogant)

And im not arrogant... aaaam i? *bats eyelashes*


You are one dedicated MoFo! I can't wait to SEE your reviews.

On a side note everytime I look at your user name 'LawrieJaffa' I keep seeing 'Laffie', I can't imagine anyone has called you 'Laughy' before? :P

[lawriejaffa]

Well my actual name is Lawrie Brewster - which only means that drunk people end up calling me Lolly Broozer - a great tansgender striptease name if you ever heard one!

For one night only....

Loooolly Broooozer!

Moderator Isaac, shifting uncomfortably in his stool, dirty dollar bills gripped tight in his midget fists!

Yeah the reviews will be fun! But not for you Chris Keaton - not for you....

*shakes fist*

hehehe

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Well my actual name is Lawrie Brewster - which only means that drunk people end up calling me Lolly Broozer - a great tansgender striptease name if you ever heard one!


This actually made me laugh out loud. :beer:

[armisiano]

Well Lawrie, I'm sufficiently teased, when the bloody hell are we going to see these videos reviews?

[kurtmo]

Throw a review of CreatureQuest in the mix if you got time.

[lawriejaffa]

Kurtmo all the films, including exhibition and late entries will be included :)

Panic not gentleman but the Video Reviews will be ready for... scratch that - coming sooner than August 10th!

That seems like a million miles away doesn't it but here is why its worth the wait.

1. Feedback is timeless.

2. The feedback is in the form of film critique as well as feedback - shown in a professional form, allowing for great quotes and reference by the filmmakers (ie. showing people their video review) as if it were featured on a promotional programme.

3. It will be sexy and ridiculous.

4. There is a decent volume of feedback, these are short essays on each film, with suggestions for development (imo) and sexy one liners from my assistant :)

At the moment auditioning ladies for the role, think we may have someone! Will keep you posted.

[lawriejaffa]

Gentlemen, we have our gorgeous co-presenter for for the erotic vintage stylised video feedback.

She is *drum roll* Vivica, a wonderful actress and burlesque performer.

http://www.newagemedia.co.uk/8396303394a9860033208l.jpg

[ZazaCast]

Gentlemen, we have our gorgeous co-presenter for for the erotic vintage stylised video feedback.

She is *drum roll* Vivica, a wonderful actress and burlesque performer.

http://www.newagemedia.co.uk/8396303394a9860033208l.jpg

I swear she auditioned for "Miss Laid"! :thumbsup:

[Luis_]

My God!
I'll watch any review she provides!
It doesn't even have to be in any language that I understand!

[lyonfilms]

Go for it. Just be gentle...

[Horncastle]

It should also provide filmmakers with a kalaidescope of wonderful quotes (and yes im sure i did not spell kalasdcopse right... or is it kolosocopes ARGH.)


Looking forward to your kolonoscope of wonderful quotes, Lawrie :)

[armisiano]

I'm waiting... (taps foot impatiently)

[Noel Evans]

i'm waiting... (taps foot impatiently)

this

[ZazaCast]

I think Lawrie is just playing with us...never going to happen.:cry:




(I didn't really care about the reviews...just wanted to see the chick!)

[armisiano]

It'll never happen. Alas.

[lawriejaffa]

http://exposureroom.com/members/lawriejaffa.aspx/assets/a062b5da2e5f4f8f999b9783286239c6/
Apolages for the delay gentlemen, and the fact there audios again!!!! Michael you got one especially for you coming soon too

If it doesnt play or is processed yet click download original!

[lyonfilms]

Lawrie -

Love it. Thanks :) Pretty spot on, at least in relation to our flick.

Can't wait to hear your review of our upcoming MonsterFest Filck, THE TELL.

Cheers.

[armisiano]

http://exposureroom.com/members/lawriejaffa.aspx/assets/a062b5da2e5f4f8f999b9783286239c6/
Apolages for the delay gentlemen, and the fact there audios again!!!! Michael you got one especially for you coming soon too

If it doesnt play or is processed yet click download original!

Is it in any sort of order?

[Noel Evans]

Listening.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Listening.Moi aussi.

Great stuff.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Really good insight on many of the entries. :beer:
Had a great time listening to the feedback. Excellent format to do it in.

Cheers,

MAH

[Noel Evans]

Enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for the kind words.

[John LaBonney]

I can't figure out how to listen or download.

[lawriejaffa]

Fear not John, im uploading an mp3 for download as some folk have had trouble playing the audio file at exposure room. Will post a downlink fast!

[lawriejaffa]

Updated!

Direct Download for the Audio Feedback

www.newagemedia.co.uk/Feedback1.mp3 (http://www.newagemedia.co.uk/Feedback1.mp3)

If anyone wants to mirror this to help out please be my guest!

If anyone has trouble clicking the link, right click and save target as!

[Chris_Keaton]

Good reviews. I'm glad you joined me on the bottom. :evil: MonsterFest will be different, hopefully:thumbsup:.

Thanks for taking the time.

[armisiano]

Thanks Lawrie. As always thoroughly entertaining. Gotta love that Scottish brogue. :)

[Brian P. McQuilkin]

So my wife runs out to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and I'm left watching 6 kids (3 of my own and 3 kids staying the night with us). I download Mr. Brewster's commentary to the iPod and listen to it in the kitchen as I wash the dishes. My wife comes home, and things go like this:

Wife: What are you listening to?
Me: Lawrie Brewster's Erotic Video Feedback.
Wife: You're listening to reviews of erotic videos with a houseful of kids?
Me: No, they're not reviews of erotic movies.
Wife: The reviews are erotic?
Me: No, the reviews are not erotic either.
Wife: So what's erotic? The guy talking?
Me: I guess.
Wife: What makes him erotic?
Me: I don't know. Maybe he's masturbating while he's giving the reviews.
Wife: How can you tell?
Me: I guess it's like the thing in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction. It's left to the imagination.
Wife: You realize that's kind of sick?
Me: It is, isn't it?
Wife: You know I'm not leaving you alone with the kids anymore?

And that's how Lawrie Brester got me out of babysitting ever again.

[Rodney V. Smith]

And that's how Lawrie Brester got me out of babysitting ever again.

Hurray for Mr Lawrie Brewster!