My script was the best!

[lawriejaffa]

Yep thats right you gimps - i rule... i rule MANKIND!

No seriously, i thought it might be a little fun to say a bit about our favourite scripts our hehe 'best scripts' as it were (hence title - see how ironic it was - how it all works *ahem*) so we can discuss and compare in an upbeat - constructive and fun way - no nasty stuff!

It goes without saying that I enjoyed all the scripts - but i think for me one of the big standouts was 'Another Man's Dame.' For me it was probably because it managed to fuse a challenging futuristic concept with a noir perspective (that i personally find appealing) so succesfully - with some tongue firmly in cheek. It was a script that worked on several creative levels.

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You was also a favourite of mine, firm noir detective work going on there - a liked the charm of the Mersey Mabel, the dark comic twists of ten tumbles.

There were NO scripts that were totally appalling in my book, and i think its to our group achievment that we all managed to produce scripts with such great individual merit.

I think its okay for us to talk about our fav scripts - and to discuss (we're all mature postiive guys eh!)

There were a few that would be great fun to produce too, Trigger Finger is up there with its great action sequences and adult comic/gangster vibe. Glass Leopard had a lead i was convinced was a cynical looking Harrison Ford! I could quite honestly see him there strapped to the chair!

DarkElastic had a character named after a french cheese (which will be a requirement in the next scriptfest you wait and see!)

Candy had an ending that would require an ennio morricone score - yep! Those are my positive musings (I'll muse about the other scripts too in painfully cringe inducing subsequent posts!) What about you guys - general thoughts and comparisons!

[Nektonic]

It is tough to pick only a few favorites. I really can't say that there were any that were bad. Some had a few minor flaws that are going to be easily fixed in rewrites. Of course there were some that were a case of just too much story trying to be crammed into ten pages. However, even the overly ambitious ones I thought worked and told a full story. I admit that I am guilty of both counts with my entry.

I am going to single out a few that I would like to see produced purely on the basis of their visual merits. After all, film is a visual medium.

Wooden Kimono
Callaghan had such a detailed vision worked out as to the editing and camera blocking that he needs to produce and direct this thing ASAP.

trigger finger
I could totally see John Woo, Luc Besson, or the Wachowski bros. getting excited about directing this. It would also make a cool comic book too.

ABOARD THE MERSEY MABLE
Shipping is interesting and not something you see done much in film. And who doesn't want to see Natasha doing her sexy dance in the wheelhouse?

X-Elixir
For a first script this is really great. Who doesn't want to see a one-liner spewin' American GI with a name like Buck shred some Nazi zombies?

Furious Factions Strong Reactions
This one was very complicated for ten pages, but Ghalied made it work. Lots of characters and I just need to see Walter, the leader of the Congolese mafia standing out the top of his cars sunroof with his Uzzi ready for action like some conquering general ready for war.

LOVECRAFT
This one is a great blending of film noir with supernatural horror. The SPECIAL POV scene that allows Lovecraft to see the true identity of Mr. Green is worth the price of admission alone.

FUN PALACE
A demented tale set in an abandoned amusement park / Chuck E Cheese-style joint. That is all I need to know.

Red Rope
It had a dark and foreboding atmosphere that was chilling but realistic as well. The opening dream was very vivid and nostalgic feeling, and counter-pointed the ending nicely.

Ten Tumbles and a BOOM
This one was very original in its interpretation of what noir is. That ending needs to be put on film or HD for us all to see. Below is a simple re-inactment.
:evil: :nads: :shocked: :violent5:

Not to say that the ones not mentioned wouldn't be visually stimulating. They would be. These above were ones that just popped into my head. Not any type of definitive list at all.

And you are completely wrong lawriejaffa, but The Man From Tomorrow was obviously the best entry. :-Laugh(DBG):

[Chris_Keaton]

Yep thats right you gimps - i rule... i rule MANKIND!

No seriously, i thought it might be a little fun to say a bit about our favourite scripts our hehe 'best scripts' as it were (hence title - see how ironic it was - how it all works *ahem*) so we can discuss and compare in an upbeat - constructive and fun way - no nasty stuff!

It goes without saying that I enjoyed all the scripts - but i think for me one of the big standouts was 'Another Man's Dame.' For me it was probably because it managed to fuse a challenging futuristic concept with a noir perspective (that i personally find appealing) so succesfully - with some tongue firmly in cheek. It was a script that worked on several creative levels.

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You was also a favourite of mine, firm noir detective work going on there - a liked the charm of the Mersey Mabel, the dark comic twists of ten tumbles.

There were NO scripts that were totally appalling in my book, and i think its to our group achievment that we all managed to produce scripts with such great individual merit.

I think its okay for us to talk about our fav scripts - and to discuss (we're all mature postiive guys eh!)

There were a few that would be great fun to produce too, Trigger Finger is up there with its great action sequences and adult comic/gangster vibe. Glass Leopard had a lead i was convinced was a cynical looking Harrison Ford! I could quite honestly see him there strapped to the chair!

DarkElastic had a character named after a french cheese (which will be a requirement in the next scriptfest you wait and see!)

Candy had an ending that would require an ennio morricone score - yep! Those are my positive musings (I'll muse about the other scripts too in painfully cringe inducing subsequent posts!) What about you guys - general thoughts and comparisons!


Look if you are just going to name every screenplay no one will feel special. Oh, wait you didn't name my screenplay. :furious3:Damnit! You Fool! :crybaby:You must not understand my genius!!! :grin:

[lawriejaffa]

LOVECRAFT
Ah Lovecraft! Yeah well i mean a lot of folk really loved Lovecraft - Yep now that definately ranks among the better almost sin/city biblical comic book type confrontation!

Interesting H P Lovecraft is an incredible author and of course you reference the name more as a style/theme than anything particular to his mythos fictional world (albeit the insect like villain does hint at the more cosmic/alien nature of his occult horror.)

I liked it - that was one of the scripts i was reading when i was way too high on coffee - with eyeballs burning like fire (in other words one i could not appreciate right away.)

Scanning over it again it is rich in delicious dark texture. If i were you i'd tap into more Lovecraftian influences (rather than the tried and true biblical good vs evil.) As that is sooooo yankee doodle dandy that its a little contrived (yours isn't!!) But i think developing along the line of your insect baddy (and the idea that heaven ain't exactly heavenly) is definately going along the rick track (in my 'personal' taste based opinion!)

So are you going to produce that bad boy?

Now Scarred Cross too explored a similarly Christian based definition of good and evil too, (within a small selection of scripts entered into this comp) so its important to expand that theme i think? What do you think?


Oh and heck how could i forget 'The Man from Tomorrow' - I was reading that while a friend of mine was er getting a little too excited i think watching Basic Instinct - I turned in fact just in time to see the famous Michael Douglas ass in the moonbeam shot (the one where he clenches his buttocks while walking in slow motion.) Suffice to say this crude insertion of a somewhat surreal and perhaps even disturbing image knocked my concentration off. Which was terrible given that this particular script (like any with interesting plots and twists) then required a second reading. I certainly had a Blade Runner style world playing in my head - or at least a cool techno-punk concept. That script could be produced into something very stylish - in fact, if there was ever a script in the competition that would benefit from a trendy French director it would be that. Now of course other folk will have totally different visual takes based on the same script!

Wooden Kimono
I'll borrow this font lol since you went to such effort hehe! Wooden Kimono IS a good script and it got its fair share of raves - but this was one of those scripts where its not the quality but the type that challenges ones taste. I like twists but anything that feels too radical (ie anything that makes me think i 'concieved' the world in vain) ranks me a little! I gave this a good rating and heck any fair critic has to bare in mind the difference between good writing and personal taste! It certainly hooked me in - and i was reading/enjoying as i went.

Then the ending!!! I blame Jodie Foster actually, its her fault - that and the movie Contact. I remember sitting through it somewhat sceptically - and then FINALLY we get to see the alien world, and its just a podgy middle aged git going 'yep... this is the first step...' RUBBISH! And did it just end? DID IT? Nooo... IT went on for 40mins or something, where every character then decided to examine why the film didnt have its cool ending (why the magic alien travelling machine didnt work) - elongating the audiences sense of bitter dissapointment.

Now Wooden Kimono wasn't like that - its ending was more like a guy who with some concentrating towel smacks you in the er... 'testimonials' Some may like a bit of literal S&M but not me! Of course fortunately myyyy script provided an ending that everyone enjoys... kids, teachers, scout leaders etc (well actually...)

//

Just noticed its down to a rating of 3!!! My goodness, so somebody has ALREADY rated the thread a 1!!! Give us a chance lol

[themightyshrub]

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You was also a favourite of mine, firm noir detective work going on there

Cheers!

I think my top five were X-Elixer, Lovecraft and The Man From Tomorrow, Solstice, Candy and Valor. I know that's 6, but I liked them all so much I couldn't really pick one to omiss.

That's not to say of course that the others weren't good - there was not a single script that I thought was even remotely bad - it's just that those are the ones that stand out to me the most!

[preston]

Cheers!

I think my top five were X-Elixer, Lovecraft and The Man From Tomorrow, Solstice, Candy and Valor. I know that's 6, but I liked them all so much I couldn't really pick one to omiss.

That's not to say of course that the others weren't good - there was not a single script that I thought was even remotely bad - it's just that those are the ones that stand out to me the most!

hey thanks... your story kinda reminded me of mine, some similar character types and locations.

good luck to all! :thumbsup:

[MiataFilmSomething]

Excellent quality of scripts this round. All interesting and fun to read in their own way. I think my favorite was LoveCraft just because of the idea and concept. Lots of potential there.

Great work on all of them, and congrats to everyone!

[ghalied]

My top three were X-Elixir, Solstice and Ten Tumbles and a Boom with honourable mentions for Ned's Three N's, The Glass Leopard, Oh, To be Old Again: From the Files of Nash Cooper and The Man From Tomorrow.

I tend to read quite quickly so the ones generally lean towards are the scripts where the story jumps off the page but I could have probably mentioned all of the scripts. The level of writing (and reviewing) was very high.

[jamiejay]

Cheers!

I think my top five were X-Elixer, Lovecraft and The Man From Tomorrow, Solstice, Candy and Valor. I know that's 6, but I liked them all so much I couldn't really pick one to omiss.

That's not to say of course that the others weren't good - there was not a single script that I thought was even remotely bad - it's just that those are the ones that stand out to me the most!


thanks, heather! :) i also wanted to wish everyone good luck! terrific writing and great entertainment! i loved it!

[CallaghanFilms]

The Callaghan Top 5

1. Wooden Kimono
2. Ten Tumbles and a Boom
3. The Glass Leopard
4. Candy
5. Angelo's Girl


Note: There were 3 or 4 others that just barely missed the cut.
Additionally, there were some that I really, really dug -
but I felt they didn't stand on their own feet (as a complete story).
Because I'm all about the story, I had to penalize them slightly.
Otherwise, they would have been right there with the top Callaghan picks.

EDITED TO ADD:
Likewise for a few that I thought were quite good, but felt they weren't strong ambassadors from the Kingdom of Pulp
(so I couldn't, with a clear consciousness, rank them at the very top.)
END EDITED MALARKEY

There weren't any bad scripts (a fact I was frankly surprised to find).
Cheers all aroundhttp://www.geocities.com/chad_callaghan/-emot7.gif

[ghalied]

Callaghan, I've been dying to find out what your favourite line(s) of the competition is.

[Nektonic]

Interesting H P Lovecraft is an incredible author and of course you reference the name more as a style/theme than anything particular to his mythos fictional world (albeit the insect like villain does hint at the more cosmic/alien nature of his occult horror.)

I liked it - that was one of the scripts i was reading when i was way too high on coffee - with eyeballs burning like fire (in other words one i could not appreciate right away.)

Scanning over it again it is rich in delicious dark texture. If i were you i'd tap into more Lovecraftian influences (rather than the tried and true biblical good vs evil.) As that is sooooo yankee doodle dandy that its a little contrived (yours isn't!!) But i think developing along the line of your insect baddy (and the idea that heaven ain't exactly heavenly) is definately going along the rick track (in my 'personal' taste based opinion!)

I was thinking something similar after reading it. He could infuse this with all kinds of cool Lovecraftian creatures from the various mythos that old H.P. created. And not that he would have to just transfer one of the creatures from the old stories. Think of Alien, both the creature and its overall cold and desolate tone. It is very Lovecraftian in its basic nature. Obviously, once it was actually conceptualized, H.R. Giger's design sort of took center stage.

What I am attempting to say is that one could take the basic elements of what made Lovecraft's monsters Lovecraftian, and add additional elements to make them into new entities.

Oh and heck how could i forget 'The Man from Tomorrow' - I was reading that while a friend of mine was er getting a little too excited i think watching Basic Instinct - I turned in fact just in time to see the famous Michael Douglas ass in the moonbeam shot (the one where he clenches his buttocks while walking in slow motion.) Suffice to say this crude insertion of a somewhat surreal and perhaps even disturbing image knocked my concentration off. Which was terrible given that this particular script (like any with interesting plots and twists) then required a second reading. I certainly had a Blade Runner style world playing in my head - or at least a cool techno-punk concept. That script could be produced into something very stylish - in fact, if there was ever a script in the competition that would benefit from a trendy French director it would be that. Now of course other folk will have totally different visual takes based on the same script!

Damn you Micheal Douglas. Why do you always have to be cramping my style? He's always on my heels trying to get a role in one of my films. Chill out Mike, I'll find you a role here soon. And lawriejaffa, look on the bright side, at least you weren't subjected to Dennis Franz's naked rump from NYPD Blue.

Seriously, that is hilarious. Thank you for giving it another try after that interruption. Maybe now I'll have to add a scene where Barlowe struts across his apartment naked with only his fedora on. A little something for the ladies in the audience.

As for the style, you got it when you said a French director could do something with this. I was partly inspired by the heady French sci-fi / noir Alphaville, by Jean-Luc Godard. I love the whole retro sci-fi look and feel. I was thinking of going the retro route for the future scenes, sorta like I was writing it from the perspective of a sci-fi scribe from the 40's or 50's. Of course Blade Runner is also a great film, one of my all time favorites. You can't sit down to write a sci-fi / noir and not be somewhat influenced by it, whether consciously or subconsciously.

Cheers!

I think my top five were X-Elixer, Lovecraft and The Man From Tomorrow, Solstice, Candy and Valor. I know that's 6, but I liked them all so much I couldn't really pick one to omiss.

That's not to say of course that the others weren't good - there was not a single script that I thought was even remotely bad - it's just that those are the ones that stand out to me the most!

Thank you for the compliment. I'm humbled to be in with the others you listed.

[CallaghanFilms]

Callaghan, I've been dying to find out what your favourite line(s) of the competition is.

The Callaghan Top 5

#1
"I was just wondering why you didn't bring the girl who taught this chump how to hit."

#2
"I guess that depends on how much they like killing, and how much they like beer."

#3
“I guess I tend to think of myself a bit more Seinfeld than Gandolfini.”

#4
"...which is all well and good. They whisper sweet nothings into your ear. We're not so bad, just misunderstood."

#5
TIE:
"To you time travel is some magic fairy dust crap. But to someone like myself, it's just like taking a shi*. Once you do it enough, it becomes routine."

-and-

"Lick it, love it, ladies”



You asked for it, you got it (Toyota) :beer:

[Nektonic]

Sweet. A line from my script made the Callaghan TOP 5.

I'm going to throw out some of my favorites. Please note that this is not a definitive list at all. Just some that popped in spontaneously. And I'm going to be a cheeky bastard and see if you can guess which ones each line comes from. Original authors of the lines listed below, please don't bogart all the fun and tell us "it is from my script."

1. That old chair has waited a long time for just such an.... opportunity.

2. Mister, there are sharks in this water. They're everywhere.

3. Did you say size twelve? I love a man who wears a big boot.

4. This is the wife! Can you believe it? I didn't order her online or anything. I went over and got her myself. She doesn't speak English too good.

5. Come on Viv, if lumpy down there in the garbage can knows then it's not much of a secret now is it?

6. Did like you said... squeezed its little neck till its eyes popped out like red knotted rope.

7. Do I look like the kind of guy who's worried about how he's going to feel in the morning?

8. Yeah, I'm eager for either one of those dames to polish my bayonet over in dream land.

9. It'll be a walk in the park. Duck soup.

10. Well color me impressed. You certainly realize that, if you run with the big dogs, sometimes you have to lift a leg.

Answers are hidden below in the blank space. Highlight the area below to reveal them.

1. Another Man's Dame
2. Solstice
3. Ten Tumbles and a Boom
4. Valor.
5. Angelo's Girl
6. Red Rope
7. Don't Say I Didn't Warn You
8. X-Elixir
9. Wooden Kimono
10. Furious Factions Strong Reactions

[jasonthewho]

Nektonic, I might have to steal the colorful title you gave my film for its thread... It's too awesome...

[nitramlehcar]

Top 5 (no order): Ten Tumbles and a Boom, Valor, Solstice, Trigger Finger, Fun Palace

[preston]

i think this thread is evidence that the suspense is killing us! :)

good luck everyone!

:Drogar-Smoke(DBG):

[Nektonic]

Nektonic, I might have to steal the colorful title you gave my film for its thread... It's too awesome...

Go ahead. Steal away.

Oh, and since we were talking about Micheal Douglas a few posts downwind, I forgot to mention a not too well known Douglas film that would qualify as a neo-noir... it is called The Star Chamber. I got it for like 3 bucks at Circuit City the other day. You should all try to give it a rent if you can. Its from the 80's but is pretty good. And don't worry, as far as I remember he isn't naked in it anywhere.

[alex whitmer]

i think for me one of the big standouts was 'Another Man's Dame.' For me it was probably because it managed to fuse a challenging futuristic concept with a noir perspective (that i personally find appealing) so succesfully - with some tongue firmly in cheek. It was a script that worked on several creative levels.

Thanks for the nod.

And per yours, I have to say when I saw how your title worked it's way into the story, I felt it was quite brilliant. The big payoff and the title delivered on a silver platter!!

This fest was amazing. Truly great stories and hard to pick even 5 without going back and re-thinking - 'but wait ...' and then starting all over.

Technical merit was at an all-time high, creative storytelling even Hollywood would do well to aspire to, and great camaraderie in the threads.

And best of all, the twists.

Hats off to all.

aw

[Nektonic]

And per yours, I have to say when I saw how your title worked it's way into the story, I felt it was quite brilliant. The big payoff and the title delivered on a silver platter!!

Yeah, the way the title on Red Rope was revealed was really great.

This fest was amazing. Truly great stories and hard to pick even 5 without going back and re-thinking - 'but wait ...' and then starting all over.

Technical merit was at an all-time high, creative storytelling even Hollywood would do well to aspire to, and great camaraderie in the threads.

Hollywood better watch out. We're nipping right at their heels like an angry pack of wild Shelties.

And best of all, the twists.

M. Night is crapping himself right about now.

[Farnsworth]

Thanks to those who mentioned mine! And to those who didn't, GO TO HELL! :)

I did read quite a few of the entries and was suitably intimidated by the skill on display. I wish I'd had time to write up some remarks but by now I feel like it's too late. You guys rock.

[Brandon Rice]

Lots of wonderful writing on display here... was sad I couldn't comment on all of them yet... will in due time...

[preston]

Thanks to those who mentioned mine! And to those who didn't, GO TO HELL! :)

I did read quite a few of the entries and was suitably intimidated by the skill on display. I wish I'd had time to write up some remarks but by now I feel like it's too late. You guys rock.

it's not too late! :)

i will be sad when the Scriptfest III forum finally dies, but for now- we're still here...

[lawriejaffa]

Exactly - I am here - on the cliff edge - open shirt billowing in the wind, mighty chest HEAVING towards the elements as i shout - with bellowing voice "NEVER - Never will this thread be closed - do unto me ... wind... rain... forum moderators - whatever you can"

Yeah... thats right, now lets see what happens!

[seansshack]

Best of luck to all. Every script I read, (which was all of them) were winners in my book.

Hard to pick a favorite or top five, as I feel I would not be doing justice to the other fine pieces of work. Think there were all top quality with none standing head and shoulders above the others.

Well done all and have a great Christmas.

[MiataFilmSomething]

Someone gave me an honorable mention. Boo-friggin'-Yeah!

Seriously though, GREAT quality by all the entires. It'd be too hard to pick just one that I found to be the best, because all of them had elements that stuck out and were different in their own way.

I'm proud to have been included in this one!

[david jerome]

Exactly - I am here - on the cliff edge - open shirt billowing in the wind, mighty chest HEAVING towards the elements as i shout - with bellowing voice "NEVER - Never will this thread be closed - do unto me ... wind... rain... forum moderators - whatever you can"

Yeah... thats right, now lets see what happens!

I want to bellow too but it just comes out as laughter damnit. Please God let me bellow with my brother!

[DarkElastic]

My script was not the best, but it was not the worst... I found this Fest really difficult - having to fight off the bible club about the swearing in the script and deal with the higher level writers putting my unlearned format down. I tried to write a script based on not the most familiar genre to myself and I tried to do this with real characters, and not Hollywood shi*e... Now it has its problems and I thank people for their comments as they will definately make good adjustments to creat a far supior script... But it does not deserve to prop up the table!!!
There were other scripts that were better than their standings also.. I was hoping, when I joined, that this wasn't a vote for your friends, no matter how bad the script, forum, but I may be wrong!!!
There is my rant... I will have to think hard in the future whether I would get involved again... but hey, no loss!

Oh, Merry Christmas to you all!

[Chris_Keaton]

My script was not the best, but it was not the worst... I found this Fest really difficult - having to fight off the bible club about the swearing in the script and deal with the higher level writers putting my unlearned format down. I tried to write a script based on not the most familiar genre to myself and I tried to do this with real characters, and not Hollywood shi*e... Now it has its problems and I thank people for their comments as they will definately make good adjustments to creat a far supior script... But it does not deserve to prop up the table!!!
There were other scripts that were better than their standings also.. I was hoping, when I joined, that this wasn't a vote for your friends, no matter how bad the script, forum, but I may be wrong!!!
There is my rant... I will have to think hard in the future whether I would get involved again... but hey, no loss!

Oh, Merry Christmas to you all!

When you know who's done what it's hard to be completely objective. I found myself rating writers I was familiar with higher than others. So I had to go back and try to be completely objective, but it doesn't happen. However, once everyone knows everyone this problem will be lessened if not removed.

This genre was hard. I don't know many people that actually like it or like writing it. That may be why there were only 25 reviews. I think they all hit the mark when it came to the genre. Some had better stories, better hooks, better twists, better endings, and were written better, but which one put them all together. Hopefully those were the winners.

But it's a game. A game where the prize really is feedback and a chance to practice.

That's my answer to your rant.

[stephenmick]

Hey, Dark, don't get too down on yourself or others here. The fact is that wherever your script finished, you wrote something. That's more than many will ever do, and as long as you learn from the experience and continue to work and grow as a writer, you'll be as much a winner as anyone.

These fests aren't a means to an end, they're a way for all of us to learn and develop our skills and talents.

Cheers!

--SM

[conlanforever]

Hey DE....My script in scriptfest 1 didn't do all that well, but I got 2nd place in scriptfest 2 and it was mostly due to the fact of eveything I learned from the first scriptfest.

The writers with more experience aren't trying to put you down when they talk about how to improve format, just helping. Take whats said and apply it to your future scripts. (I know I did, I had all kinds of technical problems in my first script)

These fests are a great learning experience and thats what its really all about. Use the fests as a tool to improve your craft. You had a lot of good things going on in your script and I'd lay good odds that your next script will be even better.

[lawriejaffa]

Yeah the fests are a good learning experience, and wow thats incredible about Jerome being 2nd last in the last fest and first this one! I mean that is AMAZING i think - congrats to him!

Yep those writers with more experience or less experience can make valuable contributions - they can also be wrong too - its difficult Darkelastic, you go with your own feelings eventually - especially if you think your creative work has been misunderstood.

I think someone pointed this isn't really about prizes and lol glory i mean its a cool festival but its really about guys coming together and talking about their scripts. I don't agree with your placing and others - nobody will agree with all of them, but everyone can agree that their next scripts will be better.

Except yours Conlan *shakes head* except yours....

[conlanforever]

LOL! Oh sh*te, I'm screwed!

[lawriejaffa]

Muhahahah no no (just my british humour!) - you'll rock dude, yours was good we just need to get it in before the ol' deadline!

[Isaac_Brody]

My script was not the best, but it was not the worst... I found this Fest really difficult - having to fight off the bible club about the swearing in the script and deal with the higher level writers putting my unlearned format down. I tried to write a script based on not the most familiar genre to myself and I tried to do this with real characters, and not Hollywood shi*e... Now it has its problems and I thank people for their comments as they will definately make good adjustments to creat a far supior script... But it does not deserve to prop up the table!!!
There were other scripts that were better than their standings also.. I was hoping, when I joined, that this wasn't a vote for your friends, no matter how bad the script, forum, but I may be wrong!!!
There is my rant... I will have to think hard in the future whether I would get involved again... but hey, no loss!

Oh, Merry Christmas to you all!

Relax, you finished something, you got valuable and honest feedback. You may not like the feedback but people took the time to give you an opinion. You can take and learn from it or ignore it.

As already mentioned look at Jerome as an example. Realize that you don't always write something that connects with everyone. That doesn't mean it's bad, it just means it's subjective.

As far as script format that is something which easily detracts from a read. Fixing those things instantly improves a reading of a script because it's not a distraction.

[conlanforever]

Back to the original premise of this thread.

One of my favorite scripts that didn't make the top ten, if we're bringing up specific scripts...I'd point out Amnesiac, it had my favorite opening scene in the trunk of the car, set the tone with good descriptions, made me feel like I was in the trunk myself.
Good suspense and mystery throughout and left me wanting for more at the end.

Surprised its not in the top ten actually. But it was a tough competition with a lot of really good work.

[themightyshrub]

I really liked amneisac as well. I think it might have done better had the page limit been longer. I think it had a much bigger story to tell, and that might have been why some people marked it down - they wanted more and might have been a bit dissapointed when they page limit meant they didn't get it! It's a pity though, it was a wonderful story, and you're right, the opening was fantastic

[seansshack]

Surprised its not in the top ten actually. Thanks man

I was very surprised as I finished 21st - yes 21st (which stun quite a bit considering I tested it and got feedback from people in the bus - writers, producers and directors) - but not all bad because as a result it looks like it has found a home - director and producer on board. But on Dvxuser judging by the placement - it stank. Go figure...

I really liked amneisac as well.

Thanks. I was hard to work out how well it was received especially with the low scores. This is where the feedback falls flat.

We could argue scores and placements aren't the most important element of the fest but if you win they are, if you lose they are. The feedback does help. But when you are told you script is good but not really that good after all.

This is part of the reason I wanted the score system reviewed. The craft of scriptwriting is made up of too many elements and far too complete to be a 1 out of 10 score. We could learn far more from detailed breakdown. But looks like the simple score system is here to stay.

[lawriejaffa]

Thats right Sean! IN YOUR FACE!!!! I made #20!!! Its myyyy script that destroyed your dreams - miiiiine that humiliated you in front of eveeerybody here - muahhhahahahha

Red Rope - forever rememeber its name! Muhahahaha

#20 = 20 times cooler than #1!!! (Okay it doesnt quite mean that... but but!)

// On a less surreal note!

I dont know - Amnesiac was cool enough, it certainly wasn't terrible, i mean i don't recall ranking anything too bad! Probably with that script i found it a part of a larger story and a little confusing at times. I rated it something in the 5 - 6 category myself - if that helps! I'd like to know though i mean if anyone wanted to say - if anyone rated my script 1 - 3 stars 0 and if so what they didn't like! (just to know - certainly not to debate it as everyones entitled to their opinion!)

Certainly its good to know why!

[seansshack]

Sorry I forgot the name... what was it (in total character).

[lawriejaffa]

You replied before I could modify my post lol - Your fast! My name is Lawrie :)

Oh just to add id like a review of the rating system too, so that the top positions could be a for a number of categories - best story/ best character and so on (maybe just 4 categories!)

But i don't think that would be adopted, it was cited that more complex systems lead to less feedback - or that reviews include this information anyway. My argument against it though is that when asked to mark something out of ten its so abstract that we rate it more on our emotional/personal taste, than on the technical merits that are so important to critical reviews too, which a categorical review system would force folk to think about!

But that said, the present system is simple and easy to manage!

[CallaghanFilms]

...This is part of the reason I wanted the score system reviewed. The craft of scriptwriting is made up of too many elements and far too complete to be a 1 out of 10 score. We could learn far more from detailed breakdown. But looks like the simple score system is here to stay.I gotta agree that something is askew is Amnesiac placed that low - WTF?!:huh: I only docked it a few points for not feeling like a complete narrative. However, that is the only thing keeping it from being one of the top 3 or 4 IMO. That being said...21st?! WTF?:huh:

Edited To Add:
I disagree with you about a different score card. Believe you me, a reader (in the real world) doesn't bother to break down the reason(s) it is a "pass" or the reason(s) it is a "yes". A "yes" might as well be a 10...and a "pass" could just as easily be called a 1. Something may be amiss...but it ain't the score card.

[lawriejaffa]

The real question is how your blooming script made #4 - damn you Callaghan! Callaghaaaan!!! You must have slept with the moderators!!

lol j/k - all positions are yummily deserved! Well this will sound hilarious but i entertained notions mine would have been higher too! But then what writer doesnt! What confused me was some folk really seemed to like it but others (ok lets try the word 'most') lol obviously didn't? I mean Callaghan rating wise do you mind i ask where you put mine (for the record i put yours around #7 points i think-) but don't spare me - hit me with it and why if you would be so kind!

Im just wondering if certain cultural things 'typical' to british/ or even scottish folks didn't cross over so well to predominately american readers (and if thats something i should bare in mind.) Or if perhaps people rated against it for the films subject matter etc (as well as maybe just not thinking its great anyway lol)

[seansshack]

I 'typical' to british/ or even scottish folks didn't cross over so well to predominately american readers

I was born in england and grew up in Ireland and nothing went over my head.

[Noel Evans]

This post does not in any way allude to how I voted. This is my opinion on rankings, everyone perceives things differently so where someone may read a piece another person can pick it up five minutes later and think what the... Whose wrong or right? Not sure, I guess that depends on how they are looking at it. For example, a producer will pick a script and think ABC where as a Director will pick up the same script and think XYZ.

[lawriejaffa]

Cool Sean - well thats the thing eh, its hard to know why scripts are rated less? lol do you mind if i ask what you rated it too? And why? Likewise if anyone else would like to know what i rated and why im happy to oblige.

Personally i think we should have our results posted (simultaneously) - ok typo there - because we're all mature enough to get on with each other and stand by the ratings we give each other etc!

Oh yah totally agreed with you there Noel :) its great to know the reasoning behind folks ratings and its far more useful to know why as regards to poorer marks than better haha! The most amusing is when you read a script - and you might think meh and then someone else reads and explains an interpretation of it that makes you go WHAT - that IS amazing!!!

[nitramlehcar]

I think the lowest score I gave anyone was a 5. There really weren't any bad scripts, in my opinion. For me, the rating was determined by my reaction to the script, (the more times my hand covered my mouth, the better), as well as how the script flowed. If I was left with too many questions, or if I had to read it 3 times to answer them, then I scored it lower than others. I think many had more potential than might have been immediately evident, and would have done far better with some editing and peer review.

[seansshack]

or if I had to read it 3 times to answer them

For me layered and complex is more interesting. If you had to read again and again, mores the better.

But hey. I'm a complex multi layered kind of guy.

[nitramlehcar]

It's not the complexity that bothers me. That, I love. It's distracting language and a general lack of fluidity. Unless it's unnecessarily complex, like Bordieau. I hate that guy.

[DarkElastic]

What happens if you are reading say a british script and you are from America? We both speak English, but our use of it is very different... So do you mark them down if it is a different use of the English language, one you don't fully understand? (which I think I have mainly been marked down on), And please remember, it is our language so we use it better!!!!

[nitramlehcar]

Cute. No, I don't. We are inundated with British TV over here as well. I don't even recall any language confusion in your script. It is colloquially different, not structurally. If that were the case, half the noir films would've been marked low on that score, since no one speaks like that either.

[lawriejaffa]

Yah its an interesting point - i think certainly if someone feels culturally unaware of something in a script - i mean imagine a story about a hindu trying to redeem himself in the eyes of one particular god - in a certain region of India where people act / dress in a manner that defies all expectation and stereotype.

Certain customs and forms taken for granted there would not be by most script readers - and depending on where you are some parts will be more familiar than others.

Yanks will be more familiar with say Mexican customs /cultural references - Brits more so with the peculiarities of Scotland/Wales and other nations of the United Kingdom.

And so on and so on. I think you'd have to be a jerk to just blithely go 'this makes no sense' due to cultural forms. I was concerned about that with mine, as it referenced somethings particular to britain (like the post war construction of new towns.) I also had a few comments of utter (modern perspective bewildernment) at what occurs in my story - which only explained in historical and cultural contexts make sense.

The domination of american pop culture does lend a far easier impression of basic story and character types. This makes it easier for american script writers to make a story more accessible than say an Indian or Spanish! On the flip side that often relies on stereotypes and cliche too which can be really challenging for american writers wanting to tell it like 'it really is' or tell innovative stories outwith cultural or pop cultural expectations!

[DarkElastic]

Cute. No, I don't. We are inundated with British TV over here as well. I don't even recall any language confusion in your script. It is colloquially different, not structurally. If that were the case, half the noir films would've been marked low on that score, since no one speaks like that either.

Extremely cute... You get the shows that translate well, let's say the easy ones, and the rest are remade so you don't get lost!

[nitramlehcar]

Your script wasn't Britishly confusing. There was nothing esoteric about it.

[DarkElastic]

Your script wasn't Britishly confusing. There was nothing esoteric about it.

I'm glad you understood it, but I can't say the same for everyone!

[lawriejaffa]

Come on guys - you mean your not even going to comment once on my wonderful post - it sounded so clever too.

Anyway we're not talking abotu scripts and understanding them. Cultural references can and are lost between scripts - not because of how their written but because we live in different parts of the world.

You can't tell me that BBC America has made you so familiar with british culture that you could watch a short film about Manchester beer brewars and take from it the same message as the limey's might hehe.

Likewise too with a story set with particular references for americans that could be lost on others, but its different, since Hollywood has a huge impact on how US stories are percieved around the world.

Oh but of course you are saying that the script you read was not particularly esoteric lol so who knows what im rambling about - im sure it sounds clever anyway!

[themightyshrub]

Going back to what was said a few posts back about good scripts being quite far down the ratings, and people not understanding how this happens - I think I might be able to shed some light. I would say that the vast, vast majority of the scripts I rated had very similar ratings to each other (mostly somewhere between 5 and 8), and I would bet that most other people rated in the same way. Not to say they were all necessarily in that score range, but that most scripts would have been rated in one bracket.
Therefore, the likelihood is that most of the scripts are going to average very similar scores. I'm willing to bet that if Isaac told us the difference between the average score for the lowest script, and the average score for the highest, it's not going to be a very big gap.

Basically, somebody has to come last. It's pretty possible for the losing script to have an average score of 8 out of 10, and the winning to have an average of 9 out of 10. 80% isn't bad in anyones book, but like I said, somebody always has to be last.

I don't really know how much sense that made. It's pretty late over here and I've had a long day, I'm not very coherent.

[Mike Manning]

Going back to what was said a few posts back about good scripts being quite far down the ratings, and people not understanding how this happens - I think I might be able to shed some light. I would say that the vast, vast majority of the scripts I rated had very similar ratings to each other (mostly somewhere between 5 and 8), and I would bet that most other people rated in the same way. Not to say they were all necessarily in that score range, but that most scripts would have been rated in one bracket.
Therefore, the likelihood is that most of the scripts are going to average very similar scores. I'm willing to bet that if Isaac told us the difference between the average score for the lowest script, and the average score for the highest, it's not going to be a very big gap.

Basically, somebody has to come last. It's pretty possible for the losing script to have an average score of 8 out of 10, and the winning to have an average of 9 out of 10. 80% isn't bad in anyones book, but like I said, somebody always has to be last.

I don't really know how much sense that made. It's pretty late over here and I've had a long day, I'm not very coherent.

You're pretty much 100% right. My score in twilight fest was something like 7.6.. and I came in second!

All this is besides the point... I can't believe this dude is whining about his score.... sure he didn't deserve last... but it's not like he wrote the next Citizen Kane either...

What importance does your score in DVX User's scriptfest really hold in the grand scheme of things? I don't think I deserved 19th... but I also don't give crap. I just wanted to participate.

[lawriejaffa]

Aweee its always a bit rough for folk who come last in the ratings thing even if you don't take it seriously. I think there was a bit of favouritism in ratings and all that kind of jazz but of course there always is in any contest.

In anycase everyone got really good feedback i think (compared to say zoetrope.)

For me the point made by the winning author of this competition - in that his last entry came 2nd last - is that things can't be that biased. Even you blindbusta - i mean your film was very beautiful and well written for TwilightFest - and you did well in that despite coming #19 here (heck i cam #20 god damn you!!!)

But its so subjective - and among the reviewers are good and bad, folk of differing tastes and such like. So i mean its not the be all and end all worth getting worried about - and its really about the feedback.

For that i am SO grateful that folk took the time to give comments! Im rambling on aren't I lol... but heres another point worth noting.

If your writing something more unusual - then say out of 20 folk how many do you expect to like it? I wrote a dark/ noir drama with a strong dose of nihilism dealing with infancide.... YEY PAARTY huh? I got a few pms from folk that REALLY liked it - and obviously others really didn't - thats just fine - so long as someone other than me liked it haha.

For a real autuer bad ass he wouldn't even care if his own mother didn't like it - so long as he/she thinks it has its place!