Red | White

[Will Clegg]

http://www.herbalmedia.com/red_white_poster_v1.1.jpg




A man is lost in the snow-covered woods with no idea of how he ended up there. His memory begins to come back to him in flashes, but at the same time his survival gear keeps mysteriously disappearing...

CAST:

Steven Berrebi
Peter Batiamovich
Kimberly Moody


CREW:

Will Clegg - Director, DP, Writer
Steven Berrebi - Producer
Jim English - Composer
Alfio Vitolo - Editor and Colorist
John Cooney - 1st Assistant Camera
Jen Chau - 2nd Assistant Camera
Keith Saversky - Design Consultant
Alyssa Keener - Wardrobe Design
Vesta Goodez - Special FX Make-up
Nicole Appice - Set Make-up and Hair
Brian Arthur - Location Sound
Dan Arthur - Production Assistant

[Will Clegg]

At long last, here are some Behind-the-Scenes shots for you. All images from the apartment were taken by Frank Keilly (who graciously allowed us to shoot in his pad) and John Cooney (camera assistant extraordinaire) shot the pictures in the woods. Both guys are filmmakers here in Hoboken.

[Dustin R. Rogan]

welcome sir!

Rogan

[Mark Johnson]

Reserved for comments beneath Rogan's comments.

[Will Clegg]

So this is actually my second attempt at a dvxuser fest. I made a TimeFest entry... I just did it on my own timeline. We shot in August and I finished it in October. Oops.

If anyone is interested in seeing that one, PM me. I have it password-protected on vimeo while I wait to hear from some festivals.

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Welcome to the party! Good luck with your work. :beer:

[stinkpot]

Looking forward to seeing your film. Welcome to the fest!

:beer:

[Will Clegg]

Tonight we had a good creative meeting about where this project is going. Steve (the producer) and I have been talking about doing something new ever since we wrapped production on our last short back in September. Here's an excerpt from an email thread:



Steve Berrebi
to me
Oct 23


i was thinking about something in the woods, with snow and nature. limited but decent coverage, some handheld but mostly pan type stuff on sticks. you ever see the beginning of Last Days?


Will Clegg

to Steve
Oct 23

Nope, never seen it. But I'm definitely down to do some winter nature stuff. I have been watching a bunch of clips by this really talented shooter in the Northwest and he has inspired me - check his videos out: http://vimeo.com/pinelakeflms



Will Clegg

to Steve
Oct 23

Now I'm really thinking about a winter-time nature short. We should try to come up with a really good 3 to 5 minute idea, no dialogue, just nature sounds, good photography and one actor (could be you). And then I would suggest that we consider renting some nice PL-mount lenses from Duall for the weekend, and go shoot something kickass.

[Will Clegg]

Of course that vimeo site belongs to our own disjecta - I was bored at work and got to looking at some of his work. Made me really want to shoot nature, which is not something I have done with video (have done plenty of landscapes with my still camera).

We started to kick ideas around about a man surviving in the woods, and then Lossfest was announced... and the story took a whole new shape.

I don't want to divulge too much more about the story just yet for two reasons:

1) I am not even halfway done with the script, but tonight's meeting really helped me talk through the ideas I needed to finish the first draft this week, and

2) It has a twist that I don't want to talk about until it is released as a part of Lossfest.


Major decisions to come out of tonight:

- We will shoot in the first or second weekend of February in New Jersey.
- We will rent some real cinema lenses for the outdoor shoots.
- Steve is going to produce and play the lead.
- Sound design is going to be critical, as there will be very little dialogue and possibly no music at all.
- We are going on a location scout on January 3rd and 4th. Look for some photos in this thread around that time.
- Lastly, I am going to make a conscious effort to blog about this production experience as best I can. I must get better at marketing myself - I believe it to be my number one weakness, and while I want this film to be great, I want to make sure that I find an audience for it no matter what.

[Will Clegg]

And one more thing: I have actually watched every single entry from each of the last three dvxfests, and rated every film. I didn't comment on most of them (I don't think I commented on any of them last time), but I intend to be a much more vocal member of the fest this time.

I have worked in a silo for a long time - it will be good to open up my process to you all and to learn from you as much as I can at the same time. So please, feel free to ask anything, at any time. Except for what the twist in my story is, cause I'm not telling that.

[Will Clegg]

This is one of the more challenging scripts I have ever tried to write. The reason? There is less then half a page of dialogue.

Strangely, it reminds me of the last film I made in college.

I'm almost finished with the first draft. Maybe another hour now.

[Will Clegg]

Quick update: the first draft is complete. I have sent it to a couple of people for feedback, but Steve and I have yet to really discuss. I am happy with where it is, but it needs some work.

This project will be more expensive than any short I have made before, which is both exciting and daunting. Hopefully we can squeeze great value out of every dollar spent.

[Will Clegg]

Another update:

Steve and I have discussed the first draft at length now, and a couple of other folks have read it and given their feedback. I plan to finish the 2nd draft by Wednesday, and then we will try to lock the script down.

We went location scouting on Saturday and found a great spot for the woods location. Some pics are attached below. A buddy of Steve's owns a farm with 10 acres of land out in Western Jersey, almost in Pennsylvania. Fortunately, he also has a friend who lives about 15 minutes from the farm where we can crash for the weekend while we shoot (it's an hour and a half from Hoboken).

We decided that we will probably have to go guerilla style for another main location, and we are still trying to figure out how to shoot in an ambulance with real EMS technicians. Should come together soon. We shoot in a little less than five weeks, and we're in pretty good shape right now.

[Will Clegg]

2nd draft is complete. We're waiting on some feedback and then the break down begins. I'm getting very excited for this one.

The look will be similiar to "Last Days," "Gerry," or "Paranoid Park." But with a thriller twist to the plot. In the snow.

[Zak Forsman]

2nd draft is complete. We're waiting on some feedback and then the break down begins. I'm getting very excited for this one.

The look will be similiar to "Last Days," "Gerry," or "Paranoid Park." But with a thriller twist to the plot. In the snow.

great sources of inspiration there, as far as i'm concerned. looking forward to your film. :thumbup:

[Will Clegg]

Thank, Zak. Unfortunately for us, herbalmedia will be only be entering one short for LossFest - but maybe for the next fest we can come up with two or three to match Sabi (seriously, that is impressive that you guys are producing so much).

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Nice location pics! Good luck with this one.

MAH

[Will Clegg]

UPDATE TIME:

The third draft is complete. This will be the final draft as we move full steam ahead into pre-production now. I hadn't anticipated writing a 3rd draft, to be honest, as I was pretty satisfied with the 2nd draft. After a few long emails from Steve and some serious thinking, I really revamped the script in this 3rd draft. It is a much better vision all the way around, and now we are not going to have to do any guerrilla shooting, as that location has changed completely.

--

Camera tests next weekend. I have been going back and forth, back and forth - I can't decide if I want to shoot with my M2 or not on this one. There are some scenes that will definitely have the adapter, but the bulk of the film that will be shot in the woods (see location photos) doesn't exactly demand it. In fact, I have been thinking that the deep focus of the bare HVX might be great. I would just rent some good ND filters and try to shoot at around a 1.7 or 2.0 most of the the time so that the focus isn't too, too deep.

But then I started thinking - well, this is stuff is going to be outdoors in the middle of the day. I could use the M2 and stop down to a 5.6 or 8 on the adapter and get a decent depth of field, and record nice bokeh in the background. Especially now that I have the new cinescreen in there which transmits more light.

Eventually (today) we decided that we should head back to the location next week to shoot some camera tests. It's a 90 minute drive each way, but hey, gas is cheap again, right? I will post some footage from my tests here next weekend - maybe you guys can help me decide. I will be using my Nikon glass for the tests - but still may rent some Zeiss PL-mounted lenses for the actual shoot.

--

I got a new toy. Check it out here (https://www.lensbaby.com/lenses-composer.php). It's a Lensbaby Composer - a tilt shift lens that I plan to use in two scenes for very specific shots. I ordered it today, should come in next week so I can do some testing with it. It's a Nikon F mount - which is why I may end up just shooting this film with my Nikon lenses. I don't think I want to fool around with changing lens mounts in the cold while the cast and crew is waiting. You have to take apart the M2 to do that, and that seems like risky business in the middle of the shoot. If you don't know what a tilt shift lens does. there are tons of examples of it in still photography here (http://letmegooglethatforyou.com/?q=tilt+shift+photography). :) Also, watch the beginning of the film The Diving Bell and the Butterfly to see a great example of it in motion picture photography.

That's all for now. Script breakdown time.

[Will Clegg]

UPDATES:

Shooting dates have been moved. We're now planning to shoot one night in Hoboken next weekend, and then the majority of the shoot will take place February 21 and 22. Doesn't leave a lot of time for post, but we have decided that we really want this short to have a life outside of this fest, and in order to make it the best that we can, we need a little more time to prepare. This may mean that I will be in a big rush to finish the 6 minute cut for dvxfest, but so it goes.

Tilt-shift lenses are effing sweet. I got my Lensbaby in the mail on Monday, and it is a fantastic addition to my kit. I will certainly be using my Nikon lenses for this film so that I can easily incorporate this Lensbaby Composer (which has the Nikon F mount). Next short I will rent some Zeiss cine glass.

We have a set dresser. This is important to me, as I feel it often gets overlooked on many low-budget films (especially mine), and the set dressing can be just as important as the lighting in your mise-en-scene. Our set dresser is a buddy of mine who works on a lot of commercials in the NYC area, and he will bring a fresh perspective to the project. It has mostly just been me and Steve bouncing ideas around, with limited outside feedback.

The next location scout is Sunday - we're going out to shoot some video with and without the adapter (though now I am pretty much sold on using the M2). I will also shoot some stills, and possibly will try to get the poster shot for the film. I'll be sharing all of this when I get back on Sunday (ok, maybe Monday, since the Super Bowl is Sunday night).

I'm anxiously awaiting the Redrock annoucement today. Particularly to see about the upgrades to the adapter. I expect a new adapter to be announced since Brian said as much (http://redrockmicro.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=6628&start=120), but I am hoping that there will be an upgrade path for current M2 owners. Specifically, I am hoping that there will be an add-on to the front elements that will allow me to collimate the adapter without opening it up. Brian hinted at this to me privately a while ago, but we'll see later today. I hope I can get any new items in time for the 2/21 shoot!

[Richard J. Johnson]

This is shaping up to be my type of movie. can't wait to check it out.

[Will Clegg]

Added the first draft of our poster. Will redesign the banner to match tomorrow. Now must sleep.

Also, I have some test footage to share, hopefully tomorrow.

[RodThompson]

He looks cold...and sleepy.

Awesome poster though! :)

[SymmetryBrian]

This is gonna be good :)

[Will Clegg]

Thanks guys!

(Full disclosure - Brian is our gaffer/grip)

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Wow...I did something SORT of like this in high school! It even looked very similar to the way your poster does. Ah, nostalgia. Now I'm REALLY looking forward to this. :beer:

[Will Clegg]

Cool - I did something sort of like this in college... At least in terms of theme. This will be much better than my previous effort though (I hope) :)

[Lawsuit_Boy]

It's in intriguing theme and I'm sure you'll be able to use the environment to great effect as far as disorienting the character or even delving a little into a type of surrealism. :)

Oh, I also really like the simplicity of your banner. It's effective.

[SymmetryBrian]

Agreed, that banner is fantastic

[Will Clegg]

Hm, I was going to make a new banner today that aligns to the poster ... but maybe I won't use it.

[SymmetryBrian]

Not that the banner isn't fantastic but I ment the poster. the poster is sick

[Will Clegg]

It was worth Steve lying on the cold ice for a few minutes, wasn't it?

[SymmetryBrian]

I was for me 100% :)

[Will Clegg]

Some updates:

Here is the location video from last weekend (finally). I mixed the adapter and sans-adapter shots together. I have to use the adapter and the long lenses on this one. I love the look.

One thing that I noticed is that I am seeing a significant amount of chromatic aberration with some of my older Nikons. Fortunately Steve has a few good lenses that we can use - they are AF lenses and so the focus draw is really short, but I guess I will have to deal. My 85mm and 105mm should be ok too (he has a nice 50, a 70-210, and a 24 which I may use sparingly). I did not test the Lensbaby on the adapter, but I did use it on a Nikon D80 to create the new poster art (see the first post of this thread).

309edab31818eacabe


Next, we have locked a location for the apartment we needed. Shots attached below...

Lastly, we are shooting on Sunday 2/15, Saturday 2/21, and Sunday 2/22. Right around the corner! Had a good meeting with the composer today, meeting with wardrobe consultant on Tuesday, and we're just about set to go.

[Erez Henya]

Good luck!

[Will Clegg]

Ok, we got through our first day of shooting without incident. We had a bit of a run-around trying to find an actress (had a last-minute cancellation), but fortunately we found someone in time.

This shoot was effects heavy - gunshots, lots of tilt-shift lens use - and it was a little tough to be director and DP. I really love both jobs, but this might be the last time I can do both. We'll see.

Here are some grabs. These are completely untouched, straight from the P2 card to you. I will be doing some heavy CC (including softening vignettes) on some of these shots. These apartment scenes are very dark - will provide a good contrast to the outdoor stuff next weekend.

[Will Clegg]

Ok, catching up on life after our grueling weekend shoot...

Everything went very well this weekend. We were out in the woods of western NJ all day Saturday and Sunday, and we got all of our shots (about 44 setups over two days). The weather on Saturday couldn't have been better, though Sunday was very tough due to the snow, freezing rain, and then just plain ol' rain. Of course, the sun came out yesterday as we were packing up our gear.

I will return with new screenshots, BTS photos, an updated poster, and some more detail on our weekend shoot - but for now it's time to log and transfer all my footage and get that edit started.

I will say that I am very happy with how production went, and I'm feeling good about how this one will turn out!

[Sprocketboy]

and we got all of our shots (about 44 setups over two days).

I tell everyone this is possible, but they don't believe me. Good luck on completing your film. It looks interesting.

[Will Clegg]

Ok, I'm back with more screenshots. Had hoped to post earlier than this, but I have been busy editing. Finally got it down to six minutes today - I started with a first assembly cut of 10:15. I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, but LOTS of work left to do. I'll update the poster and add some BTS as soon as I can find the time to work on them.

So, these are screenshots from Days Two and Three. No correction or grading yet - just raw images.

[jasonthewho]

Ooh, really nice wide shot of him by the water.

[Sprocketboy]

I am looking forward to seeing more bits on this. Its looking good. You better get cutting. Half, if not most of the work is in the post. The clock is ticking.

By chance, the shot by the water, is it the area between the NJ turnpike tolls and Vince Lombardi rest stop? If it is... you and your crew are going to die from toxic poisoning.

Excuse me for the dark humor. :Drogar-Love(DBG):

[Will Clegg]

We were way the hell out by the Pennsylvania border. Here (http://maps.google.com/maps?q=oxford,+nj), in fact.

I have it down to six minutes now - just tinkering with some things to make it work better. i need to lock picture by tomorrow around noon for my composer, and so i can move on to sound design and color work.

Jason, the wide shot by the water is the prettiest shot we got. I'm very happy with it.

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Ooh, really nice wide shot of him by the water.

That one really stood out to me as well. Great shot! All of the grabs look solid.

[Will Clegg]

Thanks, Jon. I definitely have some vignetting to correct in some shots, but it's not too, too bad. I am planning to use a 1.85 matte, which actually helps a lot with those dark corners.

[Rodney V. Smith]

Okay, this is weird: I can;t believe I haven't even commented in this thread. Must be slowing down. Anyway, things are looking good here Will. Glad you made the cut and you're almost ready. Good to see another film completed and I'm definitely looking forward to see how you pull off the outdoor shots.

I'm too much of a wuss to do that many shots out in the wilderness.

[Will Clegg]

Hey Rodney, thanks for stopping in. The toughest thing about shooting outdoors was trying to keep the camera equipment dry. It adds a whole new level of stress to a small crew - but we fought through it and got all of our shots.

[Rodney V. Smith]

n oissues with the frozen fingers? Looks like you were doing mostly handheld shots, so mostly run and gun I suppose? Or did you use the tripod at all, especially for those long lenses?

[Will Clegg]

Actually it was mostly locked off on the tripod, but some handheld. It wasn't really that cold out there - about 25 or 30 degrees F each day. Most of it was shot with a 50mm or longer. My favorite lens is my 85/2, and I used that one a bunch.

[Rodney V. Smith]

That's funny. I;d also planned to go handheld but ended up going on a lot of tripod shots, and it was mainly because we were outside as well. In the wilderness of the city of Toronto. Brutal. :grin:

Which lenses did you end up using? You'd mentioned wantingto rent some Cine glass but my impression is that you didn't go that route.

The shots look great. are you going to thow up any creen grabs with the 1:85 matte on? that's GOTTA make any wide shot look even MORE cinematic.

[Will Clegg]

I will put the screen grabs up with the matte after doing CC next week. That's my job for Monday - Wednesday.

We ended up using my Nikons for two reasons. One, I didn't want to take a set of Zeiss lenses worth $50k or more out into the woods in inclement weather. Two, I have a Lensbaby for a Nikon mount. I didn't want to swap to the PL mount on set because it is kind of a PITA and time-consuming. I had to get those Lensbaby shots, so we just used Nikon for this one. The main drawback for me in using the Nikon glass is the amount chromatic abberration... Hopefully it won't be too distracting in the end.

[Will Clegg]

So, I never posted screen grabs with the CC and the widescreen matte, but I'll do that tomorrow. Right now, Compressor is doing its business with my film, and I'm hoping that in about 20 minutes I'll have the final Quicktime ready for upload (my last attempt came out at 51.7 MB - so close!).

I updated the first two posts with all the final information for cast and crew, and with some BTS shots taken on location. I hope you enjoy - please feel free to ask any questions about what you're seeing in those BTS photos.

And now, a word on post-production:

This is the hardest work I have ever had to do in post. Starting with the cut - my first assembly was 10 minutes and 15 seconds, so I had to shave more than four minutes off to get to the final dvxfest cut. We had already agreed before shooting that we would make two cuts - one for dvxfest and one for other festivals - but I had no idea how tough it was going to be to get it down to 6 minutes. And now that it is 6 minutes, of course I have no idea how it's going to get longer and still be good. I think I will probably just start over. It's a unique opportunity to get to go back and really do everything over, and I think I will take advantage of it. I can improve my workflow, and hopefully do everything a lot more quickly.

Color correction on this one was a lot of fun. I am really getting the hang of working in Color, and I must say that it is now one of my favorite parts of the whole process. I really made an effort to make the color grade a part of the storytelling on this one. Hopefully you will agree that I succeeded in at least that. I am going to start looking for some side work as a colorist - start off with low-budget and student stuff and see where it takes me. May be a viable new path for me, we'll see.

Sound design was a real PITA. I have never done so much sound work on anything before. This piece really needed it (you'll see why), so it was worth all the effort, but I am really not as good at sound as I am at the other pieces of the process. I'm getting better, for sure, but this is one area that I feel should probably be left to other, better-trained folks than I in the future. I'm glad I know a lot about it, but if this is the last project for which I do post sound, I'll be totally ok with that.

Finally, working with my composer is awesome. Jim is a good buddy of mine who recently left his position at a major ad agency so that he could focus full-time on composing music. He has written music for several national commercials that you have probably seen, and he is finishing up work on a documentary right now that is simply amazing. This is our second colloboration, and I feel like our working relationship is improving beautifully. His grasp of the concept of the film is always immediate, and he listens and responds very well to any notes I have for him. He also gave me some great notes on the sound design which I incorporated. He is one of the guys where I feel like, as long as I am making films, I want him to be the composer.

All in all, I'm pretty happy with what we turned out for this fest. We definitely had too much story for the 6 minute limit, but that's ok. I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed making it. I can't wait to see all the other entries.

And with that, my compression is done, and YES - it's just under 50MB. Time to upload.

Good luck to everybody!

[Will Clegg]

Some grabs from the final cut:

[Postmaster]

Beautyfully shot (pun intended) and edited.
I think, some more carefull color grading would have brought out the mood better.

I have to confess, that I did not really get the story - but otherwise, grat job Will.

Frank

[Will Clegg]

Thanks, Frank. I was afraid of that. We had to cut a lot of the story to get down to 6 minutes.

I'm curious, how would you have changed the color grade?

[Postmaster]

I think the inside shots are to yellow - it does not meet the story and the mood.
A bit more neutral with slightly greenish shadows is what I would have done.

The outside shots on the other hand could use a bit more "frosty" look with a hair of bleach bypass, even the morning scene. The night for day could have a bit more night in it - but that´s just my taste.

I also think that keeping the skin tones constant (unles the story calls for someting different) is also important.

Would you please enlight us on the story? I would like to understand it.

Frank

[Will Clegg]

Thanks for the specific comments on the grade. I will be re-cutting this one to be a little longer and I will probably re-shoot one scene, so I will also probably do the color grade again from scratch. I agree about interiors - a green cast might help a lot.

I'll send you a PM about the story right now. I am reluctant to post anything about it here until others have commented - know what I mean?

[Richard J. Johnson]

I enjoyed it. I didn't quite understand it either. But if you told me I would probably feel like a dumb ass for not picking it up. Good film either way. I liked that dude had a full pair of panty hose on his head.

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Interesting spin on the idea of exploring a person's unconscious vs conscious mind and what happens to someone in such physical and mental trauma. The use of a man marooned in the middle of the natural world, having to fend for himself and steadily losing himself plays out very well against the actual event of him being shot by the misguided and misinformed thugs.

It plays out in an allegorical manner as well, representing a philosophy of man desiring to be next to, or as close to the natural world as possible while life is fading, and you hit it on the head. Although, his experience certainly is not a positive one.

I almost wish that instead of flashing to bits of information, the film might have shown the other objects (alcohol, letter, clock) as something tangible in his penitentiary of a dream. But, the flashes weren't abrasive, so it works.

I felt that the performances were a little stiff, but it was certainly still viewable and enjoyable.

Very nice job here. :beer:

[Will Clegg]

Jon, you have hit the nail on the head. That's pretty much how I feel about the film too - in fact, we are planning to reshoot the ending with some other actors (and a little more from the lead) before recutting for a festival run.

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Jon, you have hit the nail on the head. That's pretty much how I feel about the film too - in fact, we are planning to reshoot the ending with some other actors (and a little more from the lead) before recutting for a festival run.

Sounds like a good plan. I think you've got a really solid film in your hands and I'd love to see it receive even more fine tuning. Good luck with that, and let us all here know how it goes. :)

[lawriejaffa]

This is an interesting film that examines it seems a subconscious narrative that is taking place (as an earlier poster states) during a period of mental trauma.

In that manner it works (and i too did a similar thing for a film relating to male teen suicide - *ahem* a very crude short - that was my first that i will pm you Will Clegg if you like.

The difficulty is always in ensuring that the subconscious element has something meaningful to say - and is not just a kind of surreal visualisation of what is otherwise happening for real. It has to be more than an aesthetic representation - otherwise we are simply waiting for the big reveal.

In this i felt that was kind of happening. I could construe meanings for example, our man is out in the wildnerness in a tent and fire - he is 'trying to survive' and so he is for 'real'. But even then, that is a plain visual metaphor, and i feel that maybe something more could have been said.

As it stands I kind of felt like i was 'waiting' for the end, and the quality of the visuals, and acting i think demanded a better response (from me anyway) than me 'waiting' for the next bit.

That said the cinematography, and other technical elements were attractive, and some of the wilderness footage was startling and yummy.

[Will Clegg]

Thanks for your comments. I would definitely like to see your film, please send me a PM when you get the chance.

I see what you are saying about extending the metaphor. I would agree with you on that point - it certainly could have been deeper and more connected to the identity of the man. In the end, that is probably the weakest point of the script for me: the man doesn't have a strong enough identity. I'll work on this for next time!

[pia12254]

Mmm... I really liked this! The way you work in the flashbacks (for lack of a better term) was masterful. In fact I might steal that when I cut a longer version of our film! :D

I thought this was a fantastic bit of visual storytelling. No real dialogue to speak of but I was fascinated from the get go.

Would love to see a revised version when you guys get it done!

Daniel

[Chris Messineo]

I totally dug the look of the film. It was very atmospheric and the shot composition was excellent.

I also felt like the lead had a great intensity.

Overall, I enjoyed the journey, but I'm not 100% sure what happened. I think it is a bit like the classic short, "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", and if that is so and it were made a bit clearer, I think this could be wonderful.

[orchidsofwrath]

Great shots. Pretty good sound. Unfortunetally I really didn't get it.

[Tim Joy]

It grabbed me right away. There's intrigue in the first few seconds. Nice tone you set. The music and sound helped a lot with that. The first gun shot scared the pants off me. Great sound work overall. I liked the flashes and was trying to overcrank my brain at 100fps and figure it out before the reveal.

If I had to give any criticism, maybe it would be to go even deeper into the survival desperation thing? Maybe see him eat a live worm, shiver in the cold, injure his eyes... It's more of an artistic choice, and I like the ones you made.

Great acting, and I love a movie that tells a visual story, rather than drone on with mindless dialog.

I feel like I understood the story without any question or holes, at least my version of it.

High marks from me. Congrats!

[Will Clegg]

Thanks for watching everyone! There was definitely a little more to it before I cut it down to six minutes. I'll be sure to let everyone know when we release the longer cut (after lossfest is over).

[Sprocketboy]

I'm not big fan of flashbacks, but you did a great job using them. The best I've seen so far in this festival. You maintained my interest from beginning to end, without dialogue, and a series of troubling images connecting the foreshadowing of things to come. At least, that is my interpretation. Your 6 min version left that pretty much unclear.

I don't think you were really developing a character here, you were creating a situation and experimenting with the approach. I like it a lot. Looking forward to seeing the full length version.

[kyrre]

Looking forward to seeing the longer cut as well. Wish I had understood more of what was going on. Great atmosphere though, and I liked your lead. He was perfectly cast for this. Maybe the flashback-sound effect became slighly annoying after a while?

[Will Clegg]

Sprocket - thanks, man. I appreciate the comments. I guess I wish I had been able to develop the character a little more. There's a lot I wish I could have done more with - but that's how it always is.

Kyrre - the flashback sound irritates me a little too after a while. I am planning on lowering the pitch and reducing the gain a little bit for the next cut. Hopefully it will be less irritating and more interesting after that treatment. Thanks for watching - I still think your film is the one to beat in this fest, but I still have about 30 more to watch :)

[Blaine]

There were some interesting shots and scenes in this short BUT other than knowing he lost his job, I had absolutely no idea what was going on here. And for that reason I was never able to engage with this.

It was nice for a change to see dirt and grit involved with people in the outdoors.

[Geoff_R]

Like some others have mentioned... it's hard to decipher what is truly happening here. It does remind me of an occurrence at owl creek bridge though I'm not sure how the two worlds co-inside with one another. It was well photographed and had very interesting composition in some areas but rather than enjoy the film, I'm stuck constantly trying to figure it out.. I think that element distracts from the piece. If this is a more art, ambiguous piece, I think it'd fare better going towards a more abstract theme.. right now it feels caught between abstract and narrative... and so I'm chasing after meaning and closure rather than searching for interpretation.

Secondly, just read that it's supposed to be longer... I don't know how much additional information you have to fill in here but from what I've seen, I think this piece would fare better if it were shorter. I feel like many of the moments were semi-repetitive and I found myself losing interest. Then again... I don't know how much additional detail you have on the cutting room floor so maybe the extra length is worth it!

Thanks for sharing.

[warau]

Your film looked great, the flashbacks were really well done. I kept wondering why he didn't just pack up and start hiking out, he seemed healthy enough. I was never really sure what was going on and why I am supposed to care. But it looked great!

[MrKilloran]

I liked how you took the flashbacks and pieced it all together it was done well, I'm still unsure as to what was going on but I enjoyed the grittiness of the outdoors and your cinematography was good consistent coloring.

Your lead was also believable, had a good style although there was little character development too him in this, he fit well into the situation.

The music was a bit too low, so I couldn't tell if it had an effect on the piece as a whole.

[Robbie Comeau]

Hey man, really nice images your produced.

The sound was nice as well.

Althought, I'm a tad confused about the story. Maybe it's just another views worth 'till I understand it.

The lead did a good job and made it believable.

My only small nitpick is when he started eating the maggots, he acted as if the pot wasn't even hot. Putting his hand in and all. Now, I don't know how long it takes to cook maggots, but my guess would be that the pot would be extremely hot afterwards.

I guess you took this approach easy and it shouldn't really be recognized, and he should continue to do what he was doing.

Just a nitpick though!

Thanks for sharing,

Robbie

[Noel Evans]

You created a great atmosphere and mood, and I was totally glued to it. Lounge room grading shows a touch red / yellow on my broadcast monitor - I think this could be darkened down a little and evened up. Perhaps a subtle S gamma curve would be nice.

But seriously I was so deep into this, its a testament to your work.

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

whoa. so...the whole thing was in his mind?

The production value was well done, really beautiful imagery here.

Cool survival stuff too

[Will Clegg]

I have been spending so much time watching the other entries and commenting, I forgot to check in on my own thread!

Thanks to everyone for watching - it really is fantastic to get so much feedback, especially from folks who have nothing invested in the film personally.

It seems like not too many people are getting what's going on, and that's understandable. I'm glad to see that some folks are still really engaged with it and like it, even if they don't totally get the story.

I would say that the pieces are all there (Lawsuit_Boy completely got it), but it definitely demands a very active viewer to put it together. This is not necessarily a good thing, but I'm still happy with the sort of responses I'm getting. Please, keep the critiques coming and don't be afraid to challenge anything that didn't work for you. I know some of you have no problem giving harsh critiques, but for everyone else, believe me when I say that I appreciate hearing your gripes with the film as they can only help me to get better and to accept criticism more humbly.

Blaine - losing his job was supposed to be just one more reflection on "loss" and was sort of an integral part of the character, but then we cut a bunch of stuff from the script. It's kind of an artifact, and I'm not sure how much it really serves the story... but it's there.

Geoff - thanks for watching. I am in awe of your DP skills, so glad to hear that you thought it was well photographed. I honestly don't if I could make this shorter without making it even more confusing, but it is an interesting idea that I will consider.

warau - There were originally some scenes that explain why he can't find his way out. Sadly, most of them were never shot, and the one that remained really didn't work. I agree that this is a point of confusion.

Killoran - Interesting point about the music - I hadn't heard that one. I wonder if this had to do with your viewing envirnoment? I'm usually not one to challenge a critique, but I feel like ths music was loud enough to be heard clearly, without being overpowering. Perhaps I need to listen to it on some different TVs and speakers though - it's always so tough to balance out a soundtrack so that everything gets its proper weight.

Robbie - You're 100% right about the pot. I noticed this when I assembled the first edit - but it was way too late to do anything about it at that point. It is a small detail, but a mistake nonetheless. This is why big shoots have a dedicated continuity person :)

Noel and Shawn - Your comments made me smile. You guys are both great shooters and I appreciate that you dug the look. I am planning to adjust the grade in the apartment - Frank (Psotmaster) brought that up a few pages back and I agree with his assessment that a little less yellow and red and little more green would serve. I'll play with that gamma curve some too and see what happens.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Nice looking film. Good editing as well.
The film was a little confusing but reading back through the thread I think I got most of it.
I would be interested in seeing the longer cut if you come out with one.

MAH

[Will Clegg]

Thanks, Mike. I will definitely be doing a longer cut after we reshoot some things next week. Might take me a couple of weeks to get it done, but I'll be sure to post it here when the fest is all over.

[alex whitmer]

Sorry if this is a rehash, but I prefer to jump in unbiased.

Some cool survival stuff here. I don't think I would stand up if I heard a gun shot though. Or touch an aluminum pan fresh from the fire, but the rest is neat stuff.

Didn't get the missing sleeping bag. I felt like something important happened, but flew over my head.

Really like the pace and look of the flashbacks. They pretty much tell a parallel story all by them selves.

I get there was a botched robbery, and this guy is remembering back to some survival techniques or mind set to pull through this. No??

Second choice is he went a little nuts after the ordeal.

alex

[Norm Sanders]

Okay, so I just HAD to read the posts on this page at least, to see what was at least supposed to happen, because when the film ended I was completely lost.

I dug the opening, the look of the film (nice shooting), the survival tricks & how rugged this guy was (looked like Patrick Dempsey, when laying on the carpet in a pool of his own blood).

Definitely reaching into a pot like that would be a "HUH?!" issue. When I saw him in his apartment, I was assuming this was BEFORE he went camping, and he was having flashbacks of some lost memory ... so I questioned why he wasn't clean shaven to show the growth he acquired for being stuck in the woods for days on end. Now I don't know what it was, memory, imagination/hallucination, what?

I DUG the style of the editing, but I wish I could say it was good editing ... but I can't say that, and that's because it appears the majority of the people aren't getting your story. And if they're not getting the story, or what you're trying to say, then of course it could be a directing issue, but it's also an editing issue .... it needs to flow, and the right information needs to be in there at the right times, for the majority of your intended audience to 'get it'.

Performance was SOLID on the lead, and he's got a great look. Again, a TON of strengths about this, technically speaking, but the story was lost to me, unfortunately.

Oh yeah, and like others before me have said, you kept me with the film, because of the edit style, showing us bits & pieces ... so I had no problem at all watching it. It's just that when it ended, I was left with "So what happened? I don't get it?".

[Will Clegg]

Thanks, guys. At least I'm not boring anyone :)

I chalk it up to an attempt to fit way too much story into 6 minutes. The result is something a little more like "Lost Highway" than I intended...

[ZazaCast]

Looks like I have some reading to do cause you lost me with the story...but, This kept my attention throughout (I just wish I knew what was happening). Beautiful shots, graded nice...love the look & feel. The acting was excellent even though some of the survival stuff was off. Score worked for me nicely. The flashes were well done too.

All in all...nice piece of work....now I have to go back & read the thread to see what it was about...and what Red/White means.

[Will Clegg]

Um, well, now that you mention it.... The title doesn't really mean much. I was waiting for someone to bring this up.

Originally, we were going to be shooting in the snow-covered woods. Obviously, that did not happen. The opening shot was supposed to be a close-up of red blood on white snow. All the woods shots were going to be unbiased color-wise, with really bright whites. The apartment scenes were going to have a red cast. I named the movie Red | White as a sort of work-in-progress name, but it stuck. Now I don't really like it, but I haven't come up with anything else.

I really want to rename it when we recut it. I am open to any and all suggestions.


EDIT: What a terrible explanation of the title that was. Unfortunately, it is accurate. I have some room to improve around branding (if that wasn't already clear).

[ZazaCast]

Yep... all that was missing was the snow! I get it.

[hoz]

i liked the way you cut from flashback to woods with the use of sound ( the hitting of wood or breaking of ice ) and you kept me watching, wanting to know what the heck happened to this man, i was thinking that this dude was on the run and that he was one of the masked men or something... i guess he was thinking of camping while he lay dying? not sure. if so, odd, but whatever floats his boat.

in any case, awesome shots in the woods, good acting and great use of sound!

would like to more of what happened, so that's a real good thing if you ask me.

[Will Clegg]

Thanks for watching, hoz. I'm going to release a longer cut after the fest that may or may not be a little more easy to understand.

Haven't gotten to your film yet, but I'm looking forward to seeing it. I still have about 20 left to watch tonight and tomorrow - it's very time consuming to watch and comment on every film, but I'm going to get it done by Tuesday!

[Jim English]

I just loved it.

[Brian Parker]

Will, I enjoyed this film. My guess is that the wilderness sequence is part of his dying but I'm not sure why he was shot in the first place. The lead actor gave a good performance. Reminded me of Jake Gyllenhall. Shots, colors, and lighting were beautiful. It looked like it cost real money to make. The flashes between the woods and the aparment were done well. I find myself wanting to know the rest of the story. I enjoyed it a lot. Great job.

[Will Clegg]

Thanks, Brian. Assuming that we don't make the final round, I will share some details about our upcoming reshoot (Wednesday) as it happens. I really hope that our longer version will be able to incorporate a lot of the feedback that we have received, and hopefully the resulting film will be a little easier to understand.

I just finished watching and commenting on all of the films. That's a lot of work! I'm glad so many people did what I did and took the time to watch every film and comment - it's really a unique, cool thing that dvxfest has. I have had a blast!