Joystick Films Presents.....The Puppeteer

[Richard J. Johnson]

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1227381267.jpg



Story by: Richard Johnson


Written by: Richard Johnson


Co-Written By: Faith Nelson


Directed by and Cinematography by: Richard johnson


Assistant Director: Mike Davis


Produced By: Richard Johnson


Composer: Francesco De Leonardis www.fdlfilmusicomposer.com (http://www.fdlfilmusicomposer.com)

Edited By: Richard Johnson



Poster and Screen shot by: Puckthemad


Color Correction and Color Grading by: John Wee
http://luckystudio13.blogspot.com/ (http://luckystudio13.blogspot.com/)


Production Date: January 24th 2009
Production Company: Joystick Films
Location: Edgewood, MD

[Richard J. Johnson]

CAST
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233009843.jpg



Darnell Davis -"The Puppeteer"




http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1227326180.jpg
GARY FLETCHER-"Officer Kay"



http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1223663071.jpg
PAULIE WIEDECKER-"Computer Kurt"


Darik Bernard-"Zachary"
Matthew "hazmat" Davis-"Matty"
Garbriel Baez-#2 / the Conductor
Trinetta Wright-"Dr. White"
Marlon K. Taylor-S.W.A.T #1
Trevaughn Ayala-S.W.A.T #2
Orlando Christy-S.W.A.T #3
Tiphany Johnson-"Zelda"
Sharitra Daniels-"Lab Girl"

[Richard J. Johnson]

Behind the scenes. My wife took these as you can probably tell. Because I'm in most of them. :huh:
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233005348.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233005476.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233005627.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233004931.jpg

[Richard J. Johnson]

More BTS stuff.
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233005829.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233005944.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233006050.jpg

[Rodney V. Smith]

Hey! Welcome back! Time to get the ball rolling again eh?

[Richard J. Johnson]

NON-CORRECTED LOW REZ SCREEN GRABS
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233034759.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233035567.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233035615.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233035652.jpg
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http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233035986.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233035955.jpg

[Rodney V. Smith]

An early start is a good plan. Get all the preproduction taken care of now so everythign is planned out.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I totally agree. I already had an Idea that would fit this fest, now I have to secure a police station, luckily my sister is a cop and hopefully it should not be a problem. Foresight was shot quick and "dirty" as they say. This one I will take my time and get it right. Foresight did as well as expected but the pupeteer has to be better.


An early start is a good plan. Get all the preproduction taken care of now so everythign is planned out.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Police station, eh. That would be a great backdrop.

Good luck!

Mike

[ZazaCast]

Nice... right back at it! Best of luck.

[Richard J. Johnson]

thanks. I hope I can get it. I am doing some video work for the NJPD so I will pull the old "You help me, I'll help you" card and see what happens.

[Thomas Lew]

hah police station that's awesome man. best of luck

[Mattykins]

Best of luck with it. I don't like police. Haha - bad experiences.

But I might like a film with a police station as a set. :)

[Susanne G.]

Welcome to the fest! :)

Susanne

[Tom Marshall]

Wow. That's a big eyeball. :D

Good luck, man. :beer:

[Richard J. Johnson]

Wow. That's a big eyeball. :D

Good luck, man. :beer:

LOL yes it is. Puckthemad did his thing with it, I like it.

[MERCURY]

Yes! It is impressive.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Yes! It is impressive.

Thanks. that is all Puck

[Rodney V. Smith]

Oh I gotta upload the banner for you as well. Get you well represented.

Glad you guys dig the design.

[Robbie Comeau]

This doesn't involve two guys playing football high, stumbling across a kid, does it?

Robbie

[Tom Marshall]

This doesn't involve two guys playing football high, stumbling across a kid, does it?

Robbie

Actually, I believe it does... welcome to Hollywood... :laugh:

[stinkpot]

Hey filthrich, I liked your Twilight Fest entry and look forward to what you're bringing to this one.

:beer:

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks stink. my goal is to make a better movie.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Best of luck with it. I don't like police. Haha - bad experiences.

But I might like a film with a police station as a set. :)

LOL. Both of my sisters are cops and my dad was a cop, So Police don't me bother too much. I feel you though, some officers can be re a$$h0les sometimes, Even my sisters.:Drogar-Love(DBG):

[Rodney V. Smith]

Hey dude, nice looking banner you got there. :grin:

[Inexistence]

whoa you move fast filthrich! good luck!

[ZFarms Productions]

that's a bad ass poster, man. good luck to you.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Hey dude, nice looking banner you got there. :grin:

Thanks Puck It took ME hours to come up with it.:D

Seriously...Thanks again!!!

[Richard J. Johnson]

whoa you move fast filthrich! good luck!

LOL. I mean business this time around. I have to do better than 36th out of 79. I'm not saying I will win the thing but I am taking my time a planning EVERYTHING out way ahead of time so I can get it right. I still have so much to learn but each fest I am challenging myself and my crew to step it up a notch.

[Tom Marshall]

LOL. Both of my sisters are cops and my dad was a cop, So Police don't me bother too much. I feel you though, some officers can be re a$$h0les sometimes, Even my sisters.:Drogar-Love(DBG):

My dad was a cop... I hate cops... :Drogar-Smoke(DBG):

[Richard J. Johnson]

Police don't bother me, yet they all meet a very interesting fate in my film.

[Tom Marshall]

Police don't bother me, yet they all meet a very interesting fate in my film.

Sounds like I'll be doing shots to celebrate while watching... :D

[Richard J. Johnson]

LMAO! That is a guarantee my friend.


Sounds like I'll be doing shots to celebrate while watching... :D

[Brian Parker]

Welcome back filthrich. Looking forward to it.

[pauly_the_hitman]

Awesome poster i will watch it just n that alone. Of course I would have watched it anyway but I just like saying Awesome. Good luck guys.
Pauly

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks and vice versa!


Welcome back filthrich. Looking forward to it.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks paulie! I'm sure you're putting something sick together. Good luck to you as well. I know I will need it


Awesome poster i will watch it just n that alone. Of course I would have watched it anyway but I just like saying Awesome. Good luck guys.
Pauly

[Richard J. Johnson]

3 actors have committed will post pics soon. Location is looking good. Storyboards get started on Sunday. I Can't wait!!

[Richard J. Johnson]

A few cast members. More to come.

[Rodney V. Smith]

ahh faces to go with the names! check your email: new poster with logo is ready to go

[Richard J. Johnson]

ahh faces to go with the names! check your email: new poster with logo is ready to go

I can't thank you enough! pucktheman.:dankk2:

[Richard J. Johnson]

updates

[Richard J. Johnson]

Real Swat team members on board. Of course I can't show their faces. But they have the guns (Not real) the gear and attitude to pull off what I need them to do. They don't have any lines either. All they have to do is go to work. shooting begins january 24th!!

[Rodney V. Smith]

Real S.W.A.T. on board. Nice. they'll at least follow proper entry procedure and make your job a lot easier. It should look real enough and that's half the battle.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Real S.W.A.T. on board. Nice. they'll at least follow proper entry procedure and make your job a lot easier. It should look real enough and that's half the battle.

That is what I am hoping. I am meeting with them tonite to discuss the details. I was hoping to use police officers but S.W.A.T. riot gear looks waaaay better than standard issue uniforms. Now I just have to make a good film. :Drogar-Smoke(DBG):

[MrKilloran]

Good luck to ya, looking forward to watching.

[Richard J. Johnson]

screen shot to be used in the film. courtesy of puckthemad.


http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/16643/1231536836.jpg

[warau]

I like the look of your cast. Sounds like an interesting story, I will be sure to check it out!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks. We just wrapped. EVERYTHING went wrong though. new BTS pics.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Pics fixed. I hate being in pictures on set but when your wife is taking the pictures....Not too much I can say.

[Richard J. Johnson]

A few more grabs. There a bunch on the first page.
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233036076.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233036268.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233036324.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233036370.jpg

[pia12254]

Hey,

I read the post about everything going wrong...that sucks man! But, I think it happens to everyone at one point or another. I'm glad to see you are pushing forward with it and finishing the film!!! And I think the screen grabs look awesome!

If it makes you feel any better I once shot a short film and due to an error by the cam op none of the footage was usable (way too dark)...really demoralizing but I lived through it. :beer:

Looking forward to the finished product!

Daniel

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

The grabs look squeezed.

Good content though. See if you can CC the blood on the shirt to look more realistic.

The swat guys look good.

MAH

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Interesting grabs! I would also recommend altering the red channel or do a selective color correct of some of these images in order to darken the blood on the shirt. It draws the viewers eyes to it quickly in the wrong way. Other than that, it seems like you guys have a sturdy production set up. I look forward to seeing the film. :thumbsup:

[Rodney V. Smith]

all in all it's looking good, despite your adventures in casting. That's a rough one, but you pulled through and that itself is a success. Great job on that. Can't wait to see this and hear it. From the work Francesco has already submitted for FALLING UP, I know you're going to have an awesome score.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for the comments. I could not get those damn images unsqueezed. The blood on the shirt looks terrible hopefully I can work it out in post. When it was first applied it looked great. Real Dark then it started to dry. LOL. I did not even notice until I started to edit. Oh well, If Wee can't fix it I will prepare myself for the blood bath when viewing opens.:Drogar-Evil(DBG):

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Played with it a bit.

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/23237/1233118895.jpg

There are many here that can do MUCH better than I. :beer:

MAH

[Mark Harris]

Dude, you had a hospital to shoot in??????

Read about the disasters in the other thread, but will be curious to see you pull it out.

Jack Stanley, who is kind of the resident legend, has had some rocky shoots, but pulled it together. His New Orleans shoot for SpyFest was tough. So will be curious to see what you do with it.

[Gbaez]

wow..i need to fix my face..lol:huh: grabs look good and i like the poster too!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Played with it a bit.

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/23237/1233118895.jpg

There are many here that can do MUCH better than I. :beer:

MAH

I love you:Drogar-Love(DBG): In a thank you for showing me it can be done kind of way.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Dude, you had a hospital to shoot in??????

Read about the disasters in the other thread, but will be curious to see you pull it out.

Jack Stanley, who is kind of the resident legend, has had some rocky shoots, but pulled it together. His New Orleans shoot for SpyFest was tough. So will be curious to see what you do with it.

I Wish. It was a Brand new Clinic. It looked close enough to pull off. the end of the film will give it away though.

It was a horror show but overall I'm happy with the way it turned out. I am sending out for CC and Grading today, Composer got it last night and I am hoping you guys find it somewhat enjoyable.

I wasn't around for spyfest, but Stanley is dope.

[Richard J. Johnson]

wow..i need to fix my face..lol:huh: grabs look good and i like the poster too!

You look good. I wish you could have stayed longer though. Damn you and your bowling. :beer:

[Gbaez]

You look good. I wish you could have stayed longer though. Damn you and your bowling. :beer:


i should have....

[Richard J. Johnson]

i should have....

It's all good. Those $1.00 UFO camping LED lights looked pretty good at night. The HVX did better in low light than I expected.

[Richard J. Johnson]

First edit is Locked. woo hoo! FDL has the film already and hopefully will begin scoring this weekend and I just sent out to John over at Luckystudio13 for Color Correction and Grading.

I still need to fix some audio issues, do some more sound design, and a little After Effects work.

Hopefully no ADR. I hate those sessions.

Considering that we only had 12 hours and one day to shoot the entire film and most of the actors had 24 hours to read the script and learn their lines it came out pretty well.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Update. Score came back yesterday from FDL music composer. That guy is crazy with it. It is much better and bigger than I expected.

[Rodney V. Smith]

Good to hear its all coming together. Francesco does some amazing work so I'm sure your movie just went up 6 notches from what you were expecting. Sound really does make the movie.

Are you doing any sound design at all?

[J. Erik Reese]

This looks intense!! Keep up the good work!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Good to hear its all coming together. Francesco does some amazing work so I'm sure your movie just went up 6 notches from what you were expecting. Sound really does make the movie.

Are you doing any sound design at all?

Oh yeah sound design is almost complete. I just need to layer a few more things and get a good mix on it. Francesco gave me some epic sh!t. Huge. As soon as John is done with the grading it will be complete.

I think I will get my Puck and ZaZa on and jump in with two films this time around.:Drogar-Evil(DBG):

[Morox]

This reminds me of a PS1 game, Galerians. Very neat.

[Richard J. Johnson]

This reminds me of a PS1 game, Galerians. Very neat.

I remember that game. I'm old. Actually this story is based on an episode of cartoon my 4 year old watches on PBS. I just made it R-Rated.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Before and after Grabs by John Wee at luckystudio 13

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770464.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770573.jpg
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http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770691.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770755.jpg

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Looking good! I especially like the first and last grab.

Very nice. :thumbup:

MAH




http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770464.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770573.jpg




http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770691.jpg
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/34487/1233770755.jpg

[Richard J. Johnson]

Looking good! I especially like the first and last grab.

Very nice. :thumbup:

MAH

Thank You. I need some input. This is the first time I shot on an HVX and The first time I got outside help in Grading, Score, and writing. So far I like it better than doing it all.

[LuckyStudio 13]

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867584.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867621.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867669.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867690.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867737.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867769.jpg

[LuckyStudio 13]

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867864.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867837.jpg


The Director is concerned about t he pinkish blood color, therefore it is the number 1 priority.

These last grab also concludes the color grading and color correction for filthrich's "The Puppeteer". Good luck on the fest.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Me like.

[Rodney V. Smith]

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867864.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867837.jpg


The Director is concerned about t he pinkish blood color, therefore it is the number 1 priority.

These last grab also concludes the color grading and color correction for filthrich's "The Puppeteer". Good luck on the fest.

nice job on the grading there. That's gotta be a HUGE relief to have the pink dried blood problem fixed.

[Richard J. Johnson]

The blood was driving me crazy. It is a huge relief. After a little research I have learned the correct way to get nice blood spatter on cloth. Rookie Mistake.

[jasonthewho]

Nice coloring. Some bold choices. I'm always scared to go that far with my color correcting, but it seems like it will work well in this film.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Nice coloring. Some bold choices. I'm always scared to go that far with my color correcting, but it seems like it will work well in this film.

I hope so. John really pushed it. I made some suggestions early on and he did his thing based on the vibe of the film. The score really fits the grade IMO.

[warau]

Looks nice! I need to learn more about color correction.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Looks nice! I need to learn more about color correction.

So do I. But I can turn the hell out of those FCP color wheels.:beer:

[Richard J. Johnson]

Update: Grading looks good. A few minor changes need to be made, but it's no big deal. Did a lot more sound design and it's sounding pretty good now. Just need to ride the score a little during mixdown and I'm good to go.

Finally got the compression to where I want it. Just some fine tuning. Response Has been good from the cast members who saw it.

I also need a little more After Effects work on the kills.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Film is locked and ready to be uploaded. If they change the leader then I have to re-compress. The grade looks good and the neat video plug in. Removed a lot of noise I had not even noticed. I left some of it in the shots because it was looking too clean at parts.
For nothing going as planned and for all the stumbling blocks we hit while making this thing. it turned out pretty good. I still have sooo much to learn about so many things.

This being only my 3rd attempt at narrative film making i'm progressing pretty well considering I learned almost all I know on the technical side from this site.

[MrKilloran]

Eerie ... nice coloring choices, I enjoy the grabs



http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/14472/1233867621.jpg


Looks intense.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I hope everyone enjoys it. despite the mistakes

[tedynecula]

You rock! I realy want to see it! I followed your thread from begining

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks! I hope you enjoy it. I cast a child actor as well, and they are not easy to find here.

[Tim Joy]

This looks pretty intense. Looking forward to it. :)

[dgranado11]

Really good poster

[Richard J. Johnson]

Really good poster

Thanks man. Check out the film and let me know what you think.

[vnguyen972]

I love it! so what happens at the end? damn... now i have to wait for "the puppeteer 2" ...LOL

Excellent score and great color grading! Though there's VFX shot when the boy made those 2 swats to shoot each other... i think it's better without showing the blood splattered... just my 2 cents.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I love it! so what happens at the end? damn... now i have to wait for "the puppeteer 2" ...LOL

Excellent score and great color grading! Though there's VFX shot when the boy made those 2 swats to shoot each other... i think it's better without showing the blood splattered... just my 2 cents.

LOL. Thanks. I worked for hours trying to match the splatter. In the end it was not quite there. But I decided to leave it in. I know I will take some heat for that and a few other things. But I'm Glad you liked it.

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

hell yes!!

really fun man, great freakin shots and really solid acting. Everyone did a great job, but the standouts for me was the main cop (the one who blows his mouth out at the end) and the sitting nurse.

I love this intensity and direction, great job!

[Richard J. Johnson]

hell yes!!

really fun man, great freakin shots and really solid acting. Everyone did a great job, but the standouts for me was the main cop (the one who blows his mouth out at the end) and the sitting nurse.

I love this intensity and direction, great job!

Thanks! Coming from you that means a lot. I'm glad you liked it.

[singleframe]

superb job! lotta intensity packed in 6 minutes there...
great editing and camera work. that kid was perfect -- what a mean stare!

[Richard J. Johnson]

superb job! lotta intensity packed in 6 minutes there...
great editing and camera work. that kid was perfect -- what a mean stare!

Thank you! He was so excited to do it. He practiced all these moves for weeks even though he had no lines. I am glad you liked it.

[lordambrai]

Tense, very tense. Great score/audio. The camerawork was dynamic, but for some reason I wanted more. I don't know what "more" is. Yeah, that splatter was a little out of place, maybe give it that DOF shot as the characters are being shot, make it a little less intense (add some green to match the scene), and time remap it a little bit and I think it would be golden...

But it was good. Like all action movies there's always an open ending for a sequal

[Lawsuit_Boy]

I really enjoyed this one. It was directed strongly, it moved pretty well, and the story, though done many times over, was revamped and made fairly fresh. The boy actor was very good as was the majority of the cast. The score was certainly intriguing and helped intensify the moment.

I was a little unsure about the image at times, because there was a slight inconsistency occasionally from shot to shot as far as colors, tone, contrast, etc. There were also a number of odd stops of sound that almost made it feel like getting to the layer break of a dual layer dvd and having it stall for a moment. While I felt they weren't a huge hindrance or anything, it seemed a little odd and stole momentum away from the pace.

It was definitely a strong outing, though. :beer:

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

It almost seems as if two different people shot this at times. Who was the DP?

The early stuff was very good. Some of the stuff outside in the car towards the end looked very different. Intense stuff though, I liked it. The kid was pretty good.

I'm not sure where the theme really comes in though? I mean, I get it but this was more about loss of life and that doesn't really count. :)
Not without showing how someone deals with that loss.

Great action flick though. Loved the way it was shot.

MAH

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for the comments! I apprecitate them and your attention to detail. I'm not there yet, but i'm getting a little closer.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for checking it. basically the NSA lost the puppeteer and sent in the conductor to get him back as a result. there is some quick dialog to support it. But it is easily missed.

I'm just glad you did not think it sucked. I DP'd the film. And I totally don't have that down yet.


It almost seems as if two different people shot this at times. Who was the DP?

The early stuff was very good. Some of the stuff outside in the car towards the end looked very different. Intense stuff though, I liked it. The kid was pretty good.

I'm not sure where the theme really comes in though? I mean, I get it but this was more about loss of life and that doesn't really count. :)
Not without showing how someone deals with that loss.

Great action flick though. Loved the way it was shot.

MAH

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Thanks for checking it. basically the NSA lost the puppeteer and sent in the conductor to get him back as a result. there is some quick dialog to support it. But it is easily missed.

I'm just glad you did not think it sucked. I DP'd the film. And I totally don't have that down yet.
I got that, I guess I didn't think it was enough for the theme. Probably because I really didn't get to know any of the characters. This works for an action flick though and you nailed that so there's no problem with it. This didn't suck at all! It was very entertaining.

You did a great job as DP. It just seemed different at times.
Did you light it as well?

MAH

[Zim]

I thought this was really good. I think it ended to fast but the actors were good. The kid was good.

[Maximus]

Great job! "Akira".

You have an original vision that I like. Your shot choices and editing patterns are very unusual, and this makes your film feel unpredictable and fresh. Cool. :beer:

I want to see the feature!

[Rodney V. Smith]

This was pretty damn intense dude. Good shot choices and fast faced editing style that made for a great ride of an action movie. The kid was great and had some shades of "Akira" going on there.

All in all I enjoyed it.

Some of your scenes (the dialog scenes) needed a little more "snap" to the dialog, better pacing and believable reactions. More human dialog, but your actors were fairly competent and handled it well. Maybe some of that could have been fixed in editing, with a little more crossover in the conversations.

What's missing for me here is the exploration of the theme. Just losing the boy isn't enough of an exploration of loss. We're not seeing the human side of it and instead we're seeing some great action sequences. Add a little more humanity to the scenes, even a quiet moment with the boy... there has to be some kind of human reaction in there somewhere. I mean ever wonder what monsters do in their offtime? You know, watch a little tv, call home to monster-mom, do a little kareoke.... a little downtime... seeing even just a moment of that could reflect a little more loss, some kind of reflection from the boy... something that would make us connect with him and inevitably root for him.

We have no reason to root for anyone and that leaves us with a hollow feeling. Yeah good show, but popcorn fare. Now you just have to give us a reason to care and see what's really lost...

[Rodney V. Smith]

Oh dammit, forgot one point: FANTASTIC MUSIC from Francesco. He does action really well and it gave it that big feeling... almost like the music the Army commercials we're seeing all the time. or is it the Marines?

Anyway, GREAT music.

[seductivepuppy]

i hope my local urgent cares don't CLOSE. haha.

but i really liked your dolly shots. and the fx work was nice. though, the double gunshot blood i coulda done without. not because i'm squeamish, but because it just looked like an effect. a cut to black might have sufficed. but yea, dug it!

[FDL film music composer]

Oh dammit, forgot one point: FANTASTIC MUSIC from Francesco. He does action really well and it gave it that big feeling... almost like the music the Army commercials we're seeing all the time. or is it the Marines?

Anyway, GREAT music.
Thanx Rod..I saw the keeper of the lost ..it's as I was thinking ...very good music from Sanchez ..the film it's good as well ..

[Richard J. Johnson]

great input puck. thank you.


This was pretty damn intense dude. Good shot choices and fast faced editing style that made for a great ride of an action movie. The kid was great and had some shades of "Akira" going on there.

All in all I enjoyed it.

Some of your scenes (the dialog scenes) needed a little more "snap" to the dialog, better pacing and believable reactions. More human dialog, but your actors were fairly competent and handled it well. Maybe some of that could have been fixed in editing, with a little more crossover in the conversations.

What's missing for me here is the exploration of the theme. Just losing the boy isn't enough of an exploration of loss. We're not seeing the human side of it and instead we're seeing some great action sequences. Add a little more humanity to the scenes, even a quiet moment with the boy... there has to be some kind of human reaction in there somewhere. Now you just have to give us a reason to care and see what's really lost...

[Marlon Ladd]

This was a tense and ambitious piece and I really liked it. I loved some of your shots, especially the one where the kid is walking down the hall behind the guy and the kid is in focus, but the guy isn't. You definately had some great shots. The kid's acting was great and I like some of the effects, but again as I mentioned in your other thread, the sounds fx for the guns could have been better.

The actors were decent enough and pulled it off, there just could have been more urgency in the hospital when the cop was having the conversation with the girls.

Did I mention I really like the story?? It left you wanting to see what was going to happen next. Nice job, man!

[Richard J. Johnson]

This was a tense and ambitious piece and I really liked it. I loved some of your shots, especially the one where the kid is walking down the hall behind the guy and the kid is in focus, but the guy isn't. You definately had some great shots. The kid's acting was great and I like some of the effects, but again as I mentioned in your other thread, the sounds fx for the guns could have been better.

The actors were decent enough and pulled it off, there just could have been more urgency in the hospital when the cop was having the conversation with the girls.

Did I mention I really like the story?? It left you wanting to see what was going to happen next. Nice job, man!

Thanks Marlon. The input is needed and appreciated.

[Dustin R. Rogan]

Holy Poo! I didn't care too much for Hangman...so (no offense) I wasn't looking forward to this film...but Holy hell man! Kept my attention. You know its a great film when I don't even look at the thing at the bottom to see how much is left, when it ended I was wanting more!!! Great Job! Loved the lil bad ass kid only a minor thing but nothing big, is the "blood" on the shirt looked fake but if thats the biggest problem I had with it I think you'll be ok lol

Great Job again!

Rogan

[Richard J. Johnson]

None taken. AT ALL. the puppeteer is the film I hope everyone watches.
I am glad you enjoyed it. I was worried that Hangman may turn people off from the film I really want them to see.

If that is your biggest gripe you can gripe all day man!:beer: lol

Thanks Dustin.


Holy Poo! I didn't care too much for Hangman...so (no offense) I wasn't looking forward to this film...but Holy hell man! Kept my attention. You know its a great film when I don't even look at the thing at the bottom to see how much is left, when it ended I was wanting more!!! Great Job! Loved the lil bad ass kid only a minor thing but nothing big, is the "blood" on the shirt looked fake but if thats the biggest problem I had with it I think you'll be ok lol

Great Job again!

Rogan

[Mystaken]

Whew! This film gave me the chills! I really enjoyed it. I especially liked the scene in the hospital when the woman at the desk and the cops just stared at each other. I don't know why I liked that scene so much--I just did. All the action was well-done, too. Good job!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you sir. The feedback is apprecitated.

[Shawn Philip Nelson]

To add on to my previous comments, one minor thing, if you do future SWAT, put helmets on them, only $22 apiece, SWAT nearly always wears helmets. :-)
http://www.cheaperthandirt.com/BJR548-1.html

Btw, just saw the BTS pics. Dude, you look like you could be related to Vin Diesel! Seriously, you look like you could kick some ass. Put a cameo of yourself in there sometime :-)

[Richard J. Johnson]

LOL! I wish I had vin money. I never even thought about helmets. That would have been Ill. Thanks for the link!

[Mark Harris]

This movie rocked. That is all. Every fest, there seems to be one or two of these(Often from MovieMaster). I could look for things to pick at, and you still can go back and polish up the rough edges for sure(And you should).

But you demonstrated such a firm grasp on the tropes of the genre that f*ck it. I just sat back and dug it. Nice shot choices with things like the soup can and the shot through the narrow window in the door.

You can help some of the clunkier acting bits by experimenting with different cuts around them.

Take the time to polish this and get it just right. It's worth it.

[MrKilloran]

This film was INTENSE! You had a very nice way of building tension that I loved. The acting from the main cop was a bit dull but other than that I liked this one more than hangman. You had some better framing and your shots flowed well together, the kid is creepy with his never-changing-stare so congrats. Well done.

Left on a cliffhanger, so is there more to this?

[Richard J. Johnson]

Mark. You made my day. Seriously. Your opinion is valued greatly.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks! The only way I could go is back story. I'm not even nice enough to film a kickass fight scene between the puppeteer and the conductor. : )

I'm glad you liked it. We spent waaaaay more time with this. Hangman was shot in 6 hours.


This film was INTENSE! You had a very nice way of building tension that I loved. The acting from the main cop was a bit dull but other than that I liked this one more than hangman. You had some better framing and your shots flowed well together, the kid is creepy with his never-changing-stare so congrats. Well done.

Left on a cliffhanger, so is there more to this?

[DerSpieler]

Intense movie with some really nice shots. The kid does a great job in the role. The scene where he's walking towards camera, the look on his face is just chilling. I'd like to see you take this character further. As it stands it feels like a scene from a longer piece. There's not a lot of story here but the visuals and music are great.

[Chris Messineo]

Intense is right. The kid's look was determined and awesome.

This movie also had a great sense of style. I love the color palette used. For example, the way we move back and forth between the greens of one room and the white of the other. The cinematography was great and very effective throughout.

About the only complaint I have, is that this left me wanting more - as if this was the setup for a big action packed movie to follow (and that is not a bad thing).

Very well done.

[Blaine]

This was a pretty ambitious film. Not sure if it hit all the marks but it hit quite a few of them. I think it needs more polishing.

I didn't really care for the opening and the whole Number Three thing...I think you could do better. I also had a problem with the SWAT in ski masks. And the surly women at the hospital? It felt forced.

As far as the story goes, there were a lot of things to like in this but there are some others that needed to be more thought out. This is a huge story for six minutes. Maybe too much story.

That said, I'm glad you took a shot with an ambitious project. It shows you have the moxie to take it on.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you for the great input! I truly need it. I'm still a rookie at narrative, but every fest I'm gaining more and more knowledge from the feedback and watching the other films.

[Chris_Keaton]

This is my fave so far. Great job! Everything screamed pro work!

And kudos to you Faith.

[Richard J. Johnson]

That just brought a huge smile to my face. :dankk2:


This is my fave so far. Great job! Everything screamed pro work!

And kudos to you Faith.

[Norm Sanders]

Dude this has cool potential all over it. The lead (the kid) has a GREAT screen presence, and I loved watching him! GREAT little FX you were doing too with his powers, etc. In some respects, this felt like a trailer because of the way it ended ... I wanted to see the standoff!

Acting was the weakest part of this for me, and perhaps a tiny bit of the writing (just in the dialogue, as far as some of the cliche' things that may be said by every 'boss' in a lower budget film of this nature (i.e. direct to DVD stuff), but those would be my only negatives.

My absolute FAVORITE shot was when he rounds the corner, slow motion, towards us ... incredible framing & feel! :)

This was a pretty fun one to watch!

[darkrequiem1134]

just saw your flick very awesome one of my favorites in the fest Hope you make it further into the contest

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for the comments and critiques! They are very helpful. I thought Darnell did a great job for never having been in front of a camera before.

I wanted to shoot a cool fight scene at the end. But I could not figure out how to do it.


Dude this has cool potential all over it. The lead (the kid) has a GREAT screen presence, and I loved watching him! GREAT little FX you were doing too with his powers, etc. In some respects, this felt like a trailer because of the way it ended ... I wanted to see the standoff!

Acting was the weakest part of this for me, and perhaps a tiny bit of the writing (just in the dialogue, as far as some of the cliche' things that may be said by every 'boss' in a lower budget film of this nature (i.e. direct to DVD stuff), but those would be my only negatives.

My absolute FAVORITE shot was when he rounds the corner, slow motion, towards us ... incredible framing & feel! :)

This was a pretty fun one to watch!

[Richard J. Johnson]

just saw your flick very awesome one of my favorites in the fest Hope you make it further into the contest


Thank you! that is an awesome comment. There is some pretty competition here though. I just want to fair better than I did in Twilightfest, which was 37th out of 70 or so films. If I can beat that I will be happy.

[MiniMan]

I really liked this one. Great acting and an interesting plot.

Some of the framings were a little off, and something keeps telling me that this one would look way better in cinemascope. At 00:48, it seems like if you just left the camera there, which was quite distracting to me. At 04:14, the flick went from being nice and quite filmish, to cold and videoish. Those outdoor/car shots definitely need more color correction. The gunshot sounds were quite a disappointment too.

Well, now I just seemed very negative about the whole film, bu that's not the case. This flick impressed me, and I would love to see more from you in the future, keep up the great work! :)

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for the comments. I need the critiques so I can improve on them. I have no idea what cinemascope is though.

You should see how the original outdoor shots looked. yuck.

I thank you for checking it out and I am glad you enjoyed it.


I really liked this one. Great acting and an interesting plot.

Some of the framings were a little off, and something keeps telling me that this one would look way better in cinemascope. At 00:48, it seems like if you just left the camera there, which was quite distracting to me. At 04:14, the flick went from being nice and quite filmish, to cold and videoish. Those outdoor/car shots definitely need more color correction. The gunshot sounds were quite a disappointment too.

Well, now I just seemed very negative about the whole film, bu that's not the case. This flick impressed me, and I would love to see more from you in the future, keep up the great work! :)

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for the comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it. coming from you it means a lot.


Intense is right. The kid's look was determined and awesome.

This movie also had a great sense of style. I love the color palette used. For example, the way we move back and forth between the greens of one room and the white of the other. The cinematography was great and very effective throughout.

About the only complaint I have, is that this left me wanting more - as if this was the setup for a big action packed movie to follow (and that is not a bad thing).

Very well done.

[Norm Sanders]

Thanks for the comments and critiques! They are very helpful. I thought Darnell did a great job for never having been in front of a camera before.

Just to clarify, I think Darnell did a fabulous job. My reference was more for anytime there was any lengthy dialogue delivery from one or two of the others.

[ZazaCast]

This was a great film...you had me on the edge of my seat! Loved the shots you came up with, creative and kept the film moving. I liked the pace of this too, althought I think the first scene was a little drawn out. VFX could have used a little tweaking, but other than that I just want to see this one again!

Best of luck...and keep them coming!

[pia12254]

I thought I had posted on your film but I can't find a comment from me anywhere...so if I'm repeating myself I apologize! :smile:

After hearing about all the problems you had getting this made I thought it would be on the verge of unwatchable! But you have a great little film here! I'm very partial to this type of genre so I quite enjoyed it.

As others have said your shot compositions were very creative and helped drive the story. I actually thought the acting was surprisingly good considering the challenges you overcame there. And the editing REALLY made a big difference here and added to the intensity.

The only piece I think I didn't like was when the guy and the nurse are facing off at her desk...it feels too long before the other nurse comes around the corner. I understand what you were going for there but it was uncomfortable for me.

That is the only nitpick I really have with this. Overall you did a great job and I admire you for persevering and finishing the film even though it was not "exactly" what you set out to shoot.

Congrats!

Daniel

[Richard J. Johnson]

thanks for checking it out! I really appreciate the compliments and especially the critiques. I still have a lot to learn and the input is insanely helpful.

[Richard J. Johnson]

No prob. The nurse is actually my wife. And she was called in cold. I literally called her and said "get down her, you need to play a part" she cursed me out and did her best. I love that woman.


Just to clarify, I think Darnell did a fabulous job. My reference was more for anytime there was any lengthy dialogue delivery from one or two of the others.

[chriscurl]

Hey man, I really liked this, would definitely want to watch more of this story, and you found some great shots, the whole thing looks fantastic. The kid had a great look to him, maybe if a slightly different expression had been thrown in there at some point? But maybe that would defeat the intention. And the initial cut from the kid in the back to the front desk was a little awkward, but that is little stuff, I will be watching it again!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Hey man, I really liked this, would definitely want to watch more of this story, and you found some great shots, the whole thing looks fantastic. The kid had a great look to him, maybe if a slightly different expression had been thrown in there at some point? But maybe that would defeat the intention. And the initial cut from the kid in the back to the front desk was a little awkward, but that is little stuff, I will be watching it again!

Thank you! I am very glad you enjoyed it. So much went wrong that day I had to make a thread about it.

[Geoff_R]

Really cool concept here... You've got a distinct visual style here... lots of good moments... the door closing on the guy right before he pulls the trig is great, the two guys aiming and shooting each other is excellent as well. Some awesome shot choices here and there make this a very exciting, hard to ignore piece! The kid also did a great job performing. It's tough to direct kids, especially getting a dramatic, intense performance... so good character directing in that regard... also, good directing from a camera/shot selection camp as well.

It's a good film.. I like it. I like it enough that I'll also tell you what I don't like about it :) It's clear to me you know how to tell a story and run a smooth production so I'll be a little more forthcoming and brute with my thoughts. I like some moments of the beginning scene... but strongly dislike the idea that this guy is sitting in a bedroom figuring this all out. You can see a simple white door behind him and it made me immediately think less of this film as a whole, it got better... but at first I was like, 'okay, here goes another action movie that is too big for it's shoes'... you proved me wrong in that regard but that initial taste still lingers in my thoughts that this guy is involved in some high level black ops program and running it from his bedroom the way he'd similarly check his yahoo mail.

I feel like in the middle you were almost going for an action comedy route with the way the actors handled themselves. You had the night nurse being a little comical, joking around, and these awkward glances between her and the suit and the ninja/black op guys. I did find it funny, but was also uncertain as to what angle you were trying to play up there... It felt undecided in the edit as if you were kinda playing both the drama field and the comedy field... so I wasn't sure how to interpret it.

The concept with the boy is really cool.. I dig it.. I like how he takes the black op guys out... the first kill lays the groundwork and we know the terms. The second and third simultaneously kill show us he's yet even more powerful than we initially thought... but after seeing their buddy dead.. I find it hard to believe the other guys wouldn't just kill this kid on sight. Knowing that can't happen... I wish the boy could have moved or something and then they are looking for him and then he assumes control 'before' they had a chance to do something about it.

Lastly, our last character who shows up and tells him not to move with the pistol... this immediately bugged me. It was too action movie cliche'... I knew the kid was going to stop him so there's no drama there, no tension, I felt nothing for him as he wields the instrument of his own death in those last seconds. I'm only thinking, "..that's a cool shot through the door..." and I shouldn't be thinking that. I should be thinking about your story, your character.

Either this guy would blow the kid away or something else would happen... maybe he'd pull the trigger but the bullet would stop and just fall out of the barrel... showing us this kid has EVEN more power... I don't know, just a thought.

All in all. I enjoyed your film and it's one of my favorites so far. I'll admit, I'm being more critical with this than most entries, but it's only because I feel it shows a lot of promise. Hope I'm not rubbing you the wrong way and thanks so much for sharing.

[Kholi]

Damn, Geoff. Awesome feedback! And rightly justified. There's some nice potential here, really. Geoff got it pretty good and I wasn't gonna comment because I get slayed when I say what I feel... that's it right there!

Good job. Only gets better when you got some real feedback going along with the back pats!

[Spear670]

I liked this entry for its potential, but there were a few things that took me out of it. Some of the camera angles were odd and I didn't like the ending very much. Whoever was brought in at the end to take the Puppeteer in alive didn't look the part at all.

The over all feel of the film was great though, you definitely know how to put together a film. I'd love to see more with these characters.

[SMarston]

i have to agree with spear that the man supposed to take in the puppeteer didnt fit the part as well as id hoped. however, the rest of the movie was well made and the comedy bits of it made it even more enjoyable.

[Sprocketboy]

I was about to go to bed and call it a night, then I thought, before turning off this computer, I have to watch one more short film. I hope its good and if it isn't I'll just stop it and hit the hay.

I like it enough to make a comment now and avoid another five minutes before going to bed. This thing has real production value. The rest of your film is top-notch. Only two moments threw me for a loop. The lead guy should have better sense than to bargain with the kid. The kid could have seen him in a reflection without turning around and do his mental thing on him, and you could have avoided the 'go to jail' line. Figuratively speaking.

The ending wasn't impressive because I know that guy in the car is going to pick up the kid because he has stronger powers, or something like that. He has done this before.

You make Stephen King's Firestarter look like garbage. Great work. One of my faves. Now I can go to bed.

[Brian Parker]

Niiice one man. Great action, production values. Loved the closeup shot of the kid with his arms crossed right before he makes the two swat guys shoot each other. You have an eye for this kind of stuff.

I wasn't quite able to connect with anybody in the story so I sat back and enjoyed the ride. The main cop was a decent character but not too bright. I did like the way the conductor showed up at the end. I'm guessing he's a more powerful telepath that's going to attempt to reign the kid in. Good showdown teaser.

I liked the set and the fact that you got to shoot in a real emergency center is cool but it felt a little sparce in there in terms of set design. Man, anything I nitpick about makes me feel like I'm being an ass because there was a lot here to like. I just want to be more emotionally invested in the characters. Even so, you did a great job and considering all of the problems you had on set, it's a great achievement. Thumbs up man.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Fantastic Feedback Geoff! You touched on some very cool ideas I never even thought about. After watching your film, I am humbled by your comments. you really make me wish I had Doc and the Dolroean out back. Thank you.


Really cool concept here... You've got a distinct visual style here... lots of good moments... the door closing on the guy right before he pulls the trig is great, the two guys aiming and shooting each other is excellent as well. Some awesome shot choices here and there make this a very exciting, hard to ignore piece! The kid also did a great job performing. It's tough to direct kids, especially getting a dramatic, intense performance... so good character directing in that regard... also, good directing from a camera/shot selection camp as well.

It's a good film.. I like it. I like it enough that I'll also tell you what I don't like about it :) It's clear to me you know how to tell a story and run a smooth production so I'll be a little more forthcoming and brute with my thoughts. I like some moments of the beginning scene... but strongly dislike the idea that this guy is sitting in a bedroom figuring this all out. You can see a simple white door behind him and it made me immediately think less of this film as a whole, it got better... but at first I was like, 'okay, here goes another action movie that is too big for it's shoes'... you proved me wrong in that regard but that initial taste still lingers in my thoughts that this guy is involved in some high level black ops program and running it from his bedroom the way he'd similarly check his yahoo mail.

I feel like in the middle you were almost going for an action comedy route with the way the actors handled themselves. You had the night nurse being a little comical, joking around, and these awkward glances between her and the suit and the ninja/black op guys. I did find it funny, but was also uncertain as to what angle you were trying to play up there... It felt undecided in the edit as if you were kinda playing both the drama field and the comedy field... so I wasn't sure how to interpret it.

The concept with the boy is really cool.. I dig it.. I like how he takes the black op guys out... the first kill lays the groundwork and we know the terms. The second and third simultaneously kill show us he's yet even more powerful than we initially thought... but after seeing their buddy dead.. I find it hard to believe the other guys wouldn't just kill this kid on sight. Knowing that can't happen... I wish the boy could have moved or something and then they are looking for him and then he assumes control 'before' they had a chance to do something about it.

Lastly, our last character who shows up and tells him not to move with the pistol... this immediately bugged me. It was too action movie cliche'... I knew the kid was going to stop him so there's no drama there, no tension, I felt nothing for him as he wields the instrument of his own death in those last seconds. I'm only thinking, "..that's a cool shot through the door..." and I shouldn't be thinking that. I should be thinking about your story, your character.

Either this guy would blow the kid away or something else would happen... maybe he'd pull the trigger but the bullet would stop and just fall out of the barrel... showing us this kid has EVEN more power... I don't know, just a thought.

All in all. I enjoyed your film and it's one of my favorites so far. I'll admit, I'm being more critical with this than most entries, but it's only because I feel it shows a lot of promise. Hope I'm not rubbing you the wrong way and thanks so much for sharing.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Damn, Geoff. Awesome feedback! And rightly justified. There's some nice potential here, really. Geoff got it pretty good and I wasn't gonna comment because I get slayed when I say what I feel... that's it right there!

Good job. Only gets better when you got some real feedback going along with the back pats!

I will never slay anyone if they had a negative opinion. Especially you. I'm just glad you didn't think it sucked.:beer:

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for checking it out! This and all of the other comments and critiques allowed me to really open my mind and look back and I say damn I could have done so much more to make it better. But I am glad you enjoyed it. Your film is one of my favs so your opinion is valued greatly. thanks.


I was about to go to bed and call it a night, then I thought, before turning off this computer, I have to watch one more short film. I hope its good and if it isn't I'll just stop it and hit the hay.

I like it enough to make a comment now and avoid another five minutes before going to bed. This thing has real production value. The rest of your film is top-notch. Only two moments threw me for a loop. The lead guy should have better sense than to bargain with the kid. The kid could have seen him in a reflection without turning around and do his mental thing on him, and you could have avoided the 'go to jail' line. Figuratively speaking.

The ending wasn't impressive because I know that guy in the car is going to pick up the kid because he has stronger powers, or something like that. He has done this before.

You make Stephen King's Firestarter look like garbage. Great work. One of my faves. Now I can go to bed.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for checking it out! Man, Nitpick all you want. I don't take anything personal. I need all the input.. good, and especially bad.

The cop is definately not too bright.:beer: And that was not intentional. A lot of comments pretain to the lack of connection to the characters. and I see now that is something I need to work on for sure.

All I'm thinking is "cool shots, dolly moves, cool shots, slo-mo, cool shots" and there is just soooooo much more to it than that. This is the best learning experience one could have.

and could some one please explain to me how to multi-quote from different posts. :dankk2:


Niiice one man. Great action, production values. Loved the closeup shot of the kid with his arms crossed right before he makes the two swat guys shoot each other. You have an eye for this kind of stuff.

I wasn't quite able to connect with anybody in the story so I sat back and enjoyed the ride. The main cop was a decent character but not too bright. I did like the way the conductor showed up at the end. I'm guessing he's a more powerful telepath that's going to attempt to reign the kid in. Good showdown teaser.

I liked the set and the fact that you got to shoot in a real emergency center is cool but it felt a little sparce in there in terms of set design. Man, anything I nitpick about makes me feel like I'm being an ass because there was a lot here to like. I just want to be more emotionally invested in the characters. Even so, you did a great job and considering all of the problems you had on set, it's a great achievement. Thumbs up man.

[alex whitmer]

I think this had a lot of potential, but got bogged down in exposition. Way too much 'telling' what, who, and why, and this can lend itself to actors 'reading instructions' to the audience instead of showing us what's going on - and we don't always need to know everything anyways.

I call this the Ikea effect.


I really liked the framing of the big guy from behind. I think this told us a lot - sterile, secrecy, bad intentions. You could open the film with just that with a cool pull back, and a message machine picks up, and the voice mentions only a few details to kick this into motion from the start. You could lose the opening actor altogether.

I also think you could chop your two extra SWAT dudes, and spend more time with just the one, and give us a nice cat and mouse thrill ride.

That's 3 actors down.

Next, lose one of your office staff. Added zilch.

Next, you can one of the guys in the car.

That's 5 characters that were crowding this film that are now out-ski! Now you can give those who are really driving the story some camera time to show us a great thriller.



One line that stuck out is 'Lock us in' - yeah, like the kid really cared about locks.

I got a little too much "Firestarter" from the kid.


I like the closing shot a lot. Tells a lot w/o words that this kid has no natural predators, and we're in a poop-load of trouble.

There is some cool artistry going on. The eye is there. Just unload some of the 'brushes' and let the dance happen.

aw


www.alexwhitmer.wordpress.com

[Richard J. Johnson]

Alex: great comments man. Thanks for your input! The crazy part is that 4 of the 5 acotrs were called in the day before. The bald dr dude was called 1 hour before we shot his part. It was the day from hell. But I greatly value your opinion and thank you.

[Ryanrjack]

Cool short! I enjoyed this one, it's a total popcorn movie. The shot of the kid looking menacing walking toward the camera reminds of the shot of Zack Snyder's son in the beginning of "300" when he's looking at the camera with a black eye. This one worked as a whole (I was able to overlook any of the problems like the not too bright cop). How can you not say this movie is fun? I think most of the issues I saw everybody touched on in the previous posts, so I won't be redundant. With that said I liked it.

Good stuff

Ryan

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks ryan! I'm glad you enjoyed it and could overlook the flaws in doing so. Means a great deal.


Cool short! I enjoyed this one, it's a total popcorn movie. The shot of the kid looking menacing walking toward the camera reminds of the shot of Zack Snyder's son in the beginning of "300" when he's looking at the camera with a black eye. This one worked as a whole (I was able to overlook any of the problems like the not too bright cop). How can you not say this movie is fun? I think most of the issues I saw everybody touched on in the previous posts, so I won't be redundant. With that said I liked it.

Good stuff

Ryan

[warau]

This...now this...is my kind of film. Dramas are great, who doesn't love a great comedy but this film rocked! You have a great eye for this kind of film and although I agree with the other posts about some minor details, I thought this was a great film. You have set the bar pretty high for yourself for your next film. As an aside, Darnell was perfect, his expression said it all, "I'm bad.."

[Richard J. Johnson]

I really appreciate the comments!

With all the feedback and critiques about both of my films I think I have grasp on some of the things I need to imoprove on.

I apprcieate your honesty and all the other filmmakers here that gave their honest opinion as well.


This...now this...is my kind of film. Dramas are great, who doesn't love a great comedy but this film rocked! You have a great eye for this kind of film and although I agree with the other posts about some minor details, I thought this was a great film. You have set the bar pretty high for yourself for your next film. As an aside, Darnell was perfect, his expression said it all, "I'm bad.."

[RodThompson]

OMG! That was epic! My points...

WRITING: I thought that the dialogue was very realistic, and never got too exposition heavy, which definitely adds to the realism of the piece. The story itself was pretty gnarly and easily expandible.

CINEMATICS: The visuals, minimal use of SFX and cinematography were just superb. I felt that the opening shots and the shots in the car looked like they were shot on a consumer camera, but the rest was cinematically astounding.

ACTING: A++ to everyone involved!

MUSIC: WOW! If it weren't for the music, the film would have been awesome. With the music, it's EPIC. Keep your scorer around, he's a badass!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for the comments! FDL music composer is amazing and I plan on utilizing him on many more projects.

I am very happy you enjoyed the film and looked past the negatives and stayed in the film.


OMG! That was epic! My points...

WRITING: I thought that the dialogue was very realistic, and never got too exposition heavy, which definitely adds to the realism of the piece. The story itself was pretty gnarly and easily expandible.

CINEMATICS: The visuals, minimal use of SFX and cinematography were just superb. I felt that the opening shots and the shots in the car looked like they were shot on a consumer camera, but the rest was cinematically astounding.

ACTING: A++ to everyone involved!

MUSIC: WOW! If it weren't for the music, the film would have been awesome. With the music, it's EPIC. Keep your scorer around, he's a badass!

[JCVR]

Man, one thing i'm really digging about loss fest is how varied the films are.

Great job on this one.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Man, one thing i'm really digging about loss fest is how varied the films are.

Great job on this one.

Thank you for checking it out. I must agree the varied themes make it very interesting and enjoyable.

[jasonthewho]

No offense, but I remember reading about all the problems you had shooting this, and I thought, well that one isn't going to be good.

I'm glad that I was very, very wrong.

This was a very satisfying action film. Reminds me of Simon's of last fest. Not perfect, but adrnaline pumping fun.

The cinematography, grading, and editing were all excellent.

My biggest complaint is that I had a hard time following the story. Couldn't tell if we were supposed to be skipping around in time or if it was all in proper sequence. Might just have been my stupidity though.

Great work though. Knowing what you went through to make it makes it that much more impressive.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I am humbled by your comments jason. I'm just glad I could use the shots I had because I had absolutely no coverage.

it was in sequence. But I highly doubt you are anywhere close to stupid.:Drogar-Dum(DBG):

I'm Happy you enjoyed it!


No offense, but I remember reading about all the problems you had shooting this, and I thought, well that one isn't going to be good.

I'm glad that I was very, very wrong.

This was a very satisfying action film. Reminds me of Simon's of last fest. Not perfect, but adrnaline pumping fun.

The cinematography, grading, and editing were all excellent.

My biggest complaint is that I had a hard time following the story. Couldn't tell if we were supposed to be skipping around in time or if it was all in proper sequence. Might just have been my stupidity though.

Great work though. Knowing what you went through to make it makes it that much more impressive.

[armisiano]

I really liked what you did here. Quite a little undertaking. I can see a lot of work went into this, and editing must have been a blast. In the sense that "having a blast editing" includes lots of frustrating moments of anger mixed with the joy of the outcome. But yes, good work. I will say a lot of the acting was pretty weak, I don't know what your audition process was like or how many people you had to choose from, by I can recommend in the future you do EVERYTHING you can to get as big of a turn out for the auditions as possible. In the audition listings give a a character breakdown, even for a tiny role you want the most realistic performance you can get. Overall a very good effort, I enjoyed what you did here.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for the comments! Coming from you it means a lot considering how much I liked your film.

Almost every actor in the film had 24 hour notice. Most of my original cast bailed on me the day before. 2 of them I literally called 1 hour before I shot them. It was the day from hell.

And since I had no coverage editing was extremely "fun"

Either way I am very happy you enjoyed it. Thank you.



I really liked what you did here. Quite a little undertaking. I can see a lot of work went into this, and editing must have been a blast. In the sense that "having a blast editing" includes lots of frustrating moments of anger mixed with the joy of the outcome. But yes, good work. I will say a lot of the acting was pretty weak, I don't know what your audition process was like or how many people you had to choose from, by I can recommend in the future you do EVERYTHING you can to get as big of a turn out for the auditions as possible. In the audition listings give a a character breakdown, even for a tiny role you want the most realistic performance you can get. Overall a very good effort, I enjoyed what you did here.

[alex whitmer]

Alex: great comments man. Thanks for your input! The crazy part is that 4 of the 5 acotrs were called in the day before.


Ah, yes. I remember this. And the pizza guy baled because SWAT was there! I love these stories.

With that in mind, it's amazing you salvaged this. That kind of commitment is rare.

alex

[Folden]

Excellent work, Rich. I thought the cinematography was great, the story was well written and the boy that played the puppeteer was brilliant. Many kudos to you, my friend.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you sir. If you hadn't moved on me you would have been in this for sure. Next time.

I am very glad you liked it. Because if you didn't I know you would have told me.


Excellent work, Rich. I thought the cinematography was great, the story was well written and the boy that played the puppeteer was brilliant. Many kudos to you, my friend.

[Gbaez]

this was fun to watch, i like how it came together. i hoped for the cops to be a little smarter but then again how often does someone take control of your body!?...a few thing to nit-pic at but overall very nice short...

[Richard J. Johnson]

I'm glad you enjoyed it G!
There is so much more I could have done. And I know that now because of the comments and critiques.

Thanks.


this was fun to watch, i like how it came together. i hoped for the cops to be a little smarter but then again how often does someone take control of your body!?...a few thing to nit-pic at but overall very nice short...

[Morox]

I really enjoyed this. It's quite up my alley in terms of style. I also dug the cinematography. Good work man!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thanks for taking the time. I am glad you liked it.


I really enjoyed this. It's quite up my alley in terms of style. I also dug the cinematography. Good work man!

[TiJo]

Wow. I wasn't expecting this at all. One of the best of the fest for sure. I hope you make it further with this one! Fine job.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I'm glad you liked it. It was crazy to make. But thankfully it worked out in the end.


Wow. I wasn't expecting this at all. One of the best of the fest for sure. I hope you make it further with this one! Fine job.

[Keth Andril]

Love it! I'm really hoping for a series, or a continuation.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you! We really want to do another one. I am glad you found iy entertaining. Thanks again.


Love it! I'm really hoping for a series, or a continuation.

[abalex]

I liked it! the kid freak me out... slow motion shots were very efficient....this short reminds me of Akira...

g.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Very cool. Freak out is a good thing.

When I was writing it I never even thought about akira. Then when some one mentioned it I was like, dammit, that must have buried in my subconscious. Because I have seen that a dozen times. But haven't watched it in years.

I'm so glad you liked it.

I liked it! the kid freak me out... slow motion shots were very efficient....this short reminds me of Akira...

g.

[Adam Beck]

The cinematography in the clinic was pretty awesome, it had a nice look to it. The slow mo added to the power and strength that the kid held. You could turn this idea into a feature length film. I would pay to see it. Great job.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I appreciate it Adam. That is one hell of a compliment. thank you.


The cinematography in the clinic was pretty awesome, it had a nice look to it. The slow mo added to the power and strength that the kid held. You could turn this idea into a feature length film. I would pay to see it. Great job.

[Rakesh Jacob]

Great concept and REALLY GOOD JOB from the kid!!!
The receptionist was good as well. The rest of the cast was hit and miss for me.
Overall good visual style. Excellent direction and editing!

One thing that bothered me throughout was the title, why name it the puppeteer when he's called the conductor in the script. Also the conductor is more original at this point since you have essentially the same character in NBC's Heros and he is called the puppeteer (or puppet master)

[Rakesh Jacob]

The cinematography in the clinic was pretty awesome, it had a nice look to it. The slow mo added to the power and strength that the kid held. You could turn this idea into a feature length film. I would pay to see it. Great job.

Cosign!!!

[Richard J. Johnson]

I'm glad you enjoyed the film! The conductor was the guy they sent to Retrieve the Puppeteer. Number 3 was the puppeteer. The dialog was going by pretty quickly at the start. So it's easy to miss.

I have never seen an episode of Heroes so I have no idea about those characters. The name was purely coincidental.

The fact you liked the direction is very cool to hear.


Great concept and REALLY GOOD JOB from the kid!!!
The receptionist was good as well. The rest of the cast was hit and miss for me.
Overall good visual style. Excellent direction and editing!

One thing that bothered me throughout was the title, why name it the puppeteer when he's called the conductor in the script. Also the conductor is more original at this point since you have essentially the same character in NBC's Heros and he is called the puppeteer (or puppet master)

[Richard J. Johnson]

Cosign!!!

Thank you for the cosign!!

[hoz]

good flick!!

that was one sick kid! liked the story idea and where it was going since this seems much more approp for a feature and not a short.

acting was good esp the kid and the guy the suit. as it stands now, the beg is too long. if it is only a short then get right to it! go to the kid taking everyone down! loved how you shot the action stuff. the cgi is off but that's not a big deal to me. loved how you shot the suit killing himself. well done.

good work!!

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you Hoz, I'm happy you enjoyed it. I thought the suit suicide came out pretty well. That was the very last thing we shot that day.


good flick!!

that was one sick kid! liked the story idea and where it was going since this seems much more approp for a feature and not a short.

acting was good esp the kid and the guy the suit. as it stands now, the beg is too long. if it is only a short then get right to it! go to the kid taking everyone down! loved how you shot the action stuff. the cgi is off but that's not a big deal to me. loved how you shot the suit killing himself. well done.

good work!!

[hoz]

Thank you Hoz, I'm happy you enjoyed it. I thought the suit suicide came out pretty well. That was the very last thing we shot that day.


nicely done work at the end of the day!

must've been fun to tell your kid actor, " hey, and here you are going to crush that man's mind with your hands!"

[Richard J. Johnson]

nicely done work at the end of the day!

must've been fun to tell your kid actor, " hey, and here you are going to crush that man's mind with your hands!"

LOL. Darnell was so into it, it was scary. he practiced in front the mirror for weeks practicing his looks and his "moves". I told him what I wanted and he did the rest. He was the son of the guy who was driving the car.

the best part of the day was when we were shooting a scene and my daughter comes around the corner chasing darnell's sister with an air soft mac-10. That day was just crazy.

[Lawsuit_Boy]

LOL. Darnell was so into it, it was scary. he practiced in front the mirror for weeks practicing his looks and his "moves". I told him what I wanted and he did the rest. He was the son of the guy who was driving the car.

the best part of the day was when we were shooting a scene and my daughter comes around the corner chasing darnell's sister with an air soft mac-10. That day was just crazy.

I believe it! He was very good. Definitely sold the role pretty well.

Heh, it's funny how kids assimilate what they hear and see into their own behaviors. Ah, the powers of socialization. I can imagine it was a funny image.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Heh, it's funny how kids assimilate what they hear and see into their own behaviors. Ah, the powers of socialization. I can imagine it was a funny image.

LOL you got that right. My kids are sponges. They don't miss a thing. My daughter can't even watch videos anymore. All I need to say is Beyonce and Booty dance.:(

[Lawsuit_Boy]

LOL you got that right. My kids are sponges. They don't miss a thing. My daughter can't even watch videos anymore. All I need to say is Beyonce and Booty dance.:(

Oh boy, haha. I know exactly where you're going. It's really strange how the generations are changing and how much the media really shapes our lives.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Oh boy, haha. I know exactly where you're going. It's really strange how the generations are changing and how much the media really shapes our lives.

It is so different then when we were kids. They are just so saturated with everything because we are. We don't watch a lot of TV but what we do watch has such an influence on my daughter it's crazy. luckily she likes the kiddie shows. My son is only one and every time he hears Kanye West he starts dancing. And god forbid the song goes off. There are some things we as parents just don't understand. And the older I get the more I turn into my Dad. It's really funny. Do you have kids?

[Lawsuit_Boy]

It is so different then when we were kids. They are just so saturated with everything because we are. We don't watch a lot of TV but what we do watch has such an influence on my daughter it's crazy. luckily she likes the kiddie shows. My son is only one and every time he hears Kanye West he starts dancing. And god forbid the song goes off. There are some things we as parents just don't understand. And the older I get the more I turn into my Dad. It's really funny. Do you have kids?

Totally understand. It sounds like you're doing a fine job as a father and you obviously care about the influences your children are under, and that is very comforting to me.

Hah, no, I don't have any children of my own. I'm 22 and finishing up my work as a college undergrad right now. I don't plan on having children (if at all) until I'm established and stable enough to co-provide with my partner.

So as much knowledge as I have on the subject, I guess I can't truly relate since I don't have children. But stay confident and know that you seem to be doing very well as a father from my POV. :thumbup:

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you. when was 22 I could not have imagined having kids. I was still a kid myself. I had my first at 30 and I'm about to turn 35. and hell yes they are expensive! enjoy your 20's and your baby-free days. It only gets better.


Totally understand. It sounds like you're doing a fine job as a father and you obviously care about the influences your children are under, and that is very comforting to me.

Hah, no, I don't have any children of my own. I'm 22 and finishing up my work as a college undergrad right now. I don't plan on having children (if at all) until I'm established and stable enough to co-provide with my partner.

So as much knowledge as I have on the subject, I guess I can't truly relate since I don't have children. But stay confident and know that you seem to be doing very well as a father from my POV. :thumbup:

[Lawsuit_Boy]

Thank you. when was 22 I could not have imagined having kids. I was still a kid myself. I had my first at 30 and I'm about to turn 35. and hell yes they are expensive! enjoy your 20's and your baby-free days. It only gets better.

As mature as I act sometimes, I do have to remind myself constantly that I'm still very young and, as much as it pains me, immature in a lot of ways. It's all part of a large process, though. Each new piece comes and makes itself part of the picture of your life.

I'll definitely try to maintain a good attitude and keep my life more fun and enjoyable (I really get too serious sometimes, but that's the idealist and revolutionary in me :violin: )

And happy early birthday! :beer:

[Richard J. Johnson]

I totally thought you were older by you comments. LOL.

Whe I was 22 I was doing some real foul things. So I commend you for having your head on straight.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I have to say that after re-watching many of my favs and some others, this was one really strong fest.

I saw fims that touched me, made me laugh and a few that inspired me.

There isn't a clear-cut champ and that makes the field much more fun to play on.

Can't wait for the next one.

[TiJo]

I have to agree that there are many well made films on this fest and it is very difficult to narrow it down to one. Or even 3.


I have to say that after re-watching many of my favs and some others, this was one really strong fest.

I saw fims that touched me, made me laugh and a few that inspired me.

There isn't a clear-cut champ and that makes the field much more fun to play on.

Can't wait for the next one.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I believe 7 or 8 make it to thext round and the champ is crowned from there. I have no idea who that's going to be. This is the first fest I was part of that I could say that.


I have to agree that there are many well made films on this fest and it is very difficult to narrow it down to one. Or even 3.

[Will Clegg]

Wow, this is SO different from your other entry! It's an accomplishment unto itself to make two very entertaining films in the same four month period, especially when they are so dissimilar.

I haven't read through all 21 pages of this, so I'm sure I'm repeating, but holy shit was Darnell good. Some of the other actors weren't really that convincing, but the kid was simply great.

You have a great sense of style - the mood was excellent, and everything played to it: the photography, the audio, the score, the color grade, the pacing. It was great. Just great. Well done.

[Noel Evans]

This was really nice, everyones going to say so, well because it is. Good Work.

I want to give you some thoughts that I didnt see.

When the kid is screwing his hand up to make things happen, you often used that old TV looking effect, this didnt really work as well as the rest of the piece was. On those parts I would have liked to see some quick cuts and more intensity from your actors. I mean how would you feel if your gun was turning on you, or your co workers and you could do nothing about it?

The edit could be better in some areas. Some of the moves in then suddenly jump to a wide or dolly/pull out, didnt quite work all the time.

The story itself felt incomplete, but it seemed thats what you were going for? A part or chapter of a larger story?

Not to detract from what was a well shot piece.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Thank you Will. Very cool compliments. It means a great deal.


Wow, this is SO different from your other entry! It's an accomplishment unto itself to make two very entertaining films in the same four month period, especially when they are so dissimilar.

I haven't read through all 21 pages of this, so I'm sure I'm repeating, but holy shi* was Darnell good. Some of the other actors weren't really that convincing, but the kid was simply great.

You have a great sense of style - the mood was excellent, and everything played to it: the photography, the audio, the score, the color grade, the pacing. It was great. Just great. Well done.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Noel, Thank you for the Awesome comments. They really mean a Lot. And helps me out tremendously.

I think in the end, this was. A lot of story to fit into 6 minutes.

I'm still working on my editing skills. I look at some other films and I really learn from them.

As far as the old tv effect, I was hoping no one would say anything NOEL. LOL.

I am very happy you liked it.

This was really nice, everyones going to say so, well because it is. Good Work.

I want to give you some thoughts that I didnt see.

When the kid is screwing his hand up to make things happen, you often used that old TV looking effect, this didnt really work as well as the rest of the piece was. On those parts I would have liked to see some quick cuts and more intensity from your actors. I mean how would you feel if your gun was turning on you, or your co workers and you could do nothing about it?

The edit could be better in some areas. Some of the moves in then suddenly jump to a wide or dolly/pull out, didnt quite work all the time.

The story itself felt incomplete, but it seemed thats what you were going for? A part or chapter of a larger story?

Not to detract from what was a well shot piece.

[Richard J. Johnson]

To echo my previous to post answering Noel, I superbly suck at directing actors to convey emotions and hitting the performance The way I want it done. I just don't know how to do it. This also boils down to me not doing 5 jobs on set. My AD is the best and without him I couldn't do it all, but that is only 2 people doing the job of several. Once I get a good crew I can spend a little more time focusing on performance. Of course having a good cast helps, and I run with some good people who I really want to grow with me. Anyway just had to say it.

[TiJo]

Directing actors is not an easy thing to do. And I have to say that talent needs to be there. You can do all the coaching and directing you want and it will make no difference. Its hard to make a duck bark like a dog.

You have some good people in your films. And I think you could work with most of them again with no problem.

But you need to not do everything and focus more on performance. Without good acting. Its a much harder sell.




To echo my previous to post answering Noel, I superbly suck at directing actors to convey emotions and hitting the performance The way I want it done. I just don't know how to do it. This also boils down to me not doing 5 jobs on set. My AD is the best and without him I couldn't do it all, but that is only 2 people doing the job of several. Once I get a good crew I can spend a little more time focusing on performance. Of course having a good cast helps, and I run with some good people who I really want to grow with me. Anyway just had to say it.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Directing actors is not an easy thing to do. And I have to say that talent needs to be there. You can do all the coaching and directing you want and it will make no difference. Its hard to make a duck bark like a dog.

You have some good people in your films. And I think you could work with most of them again with no problem.

But you need to not do everything and focus more on performance. Without good acting. Its a much harder sell.

Very well said. And I will work on my directing skills that is 100% for certain. I think it starts with having actual rehersals and table reads beforehand. I can really speak to my actors and it makes them feel like they are a part of something larger.

But I agree that if I have to cast the right people to begin with. Most of my actors have been with me from the begining. The puppeteer was shot using only one person I have worked with before and I will continue to work with him in the future. the cast of hangman were all of my regulars.

There is sooooo much I need to work on and directing actors is one of them.

After this fest and all the comments and critiques I have gotten I know I will get better. Don't know If I will make a "better" movie but it will be more solid in more areas. if that makes sense.

[Rodney V. Smith]

Very well said. And I will work on my directing skills that is 100% for certain. I think it starts with having actual rehersals and table reads beforehand. I can really speak to my actors and it makes them feel like they are a part of something larger.

There is sooooo much I need to work on and directing actors is one of them.


It's funny: I learned some of the best ways of talking to and motivating actors from an improv theater director. We were working on a project that got never got produced, and went through a coupe of rehearsals. Most useful thing that i saw him do was to take the script and go through it line by line with the actors and for every single line, look for the subtext.

Now this helps with writing as well, but from an acting perspective it forced the actors to look at their motivations for what they're saying. In each conversation, we're all trying to get something from each other, and everything we say is in fortherance from that. It's a slight manipulation and it occurs in a real conversation. Once your actors are able to read the subtext of a scene, where it's only just a line like:

MARY: Good morning Todd.
TODD: Mary.

Your actors will be able tio imbue something so simple with a sense of character and layers of meaning that will change the entire scene. Mary understands her motivations, knows where she's been. Let's say she's secretly in love with Todd, and she's been out drinking the night before. She may be a little hungover and a little flirtatious with her line. And let's say Todd secretly hates Mary, think's she;s a slut. Completely changes his interaction with her and the delivery becomes real. Even if Todd is only there for that one line.

The actors know what their characters are thinking, and through rehearsals, which is more than just knowing lines, they are able to take these characters onto themselves, and imbue strong characteristics onto the scene. They can build the world around themselves and allow us to peek in when you finally call for "ACTION!"

Hope this helps.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Puck that is just amazing advice. I never even thought of approaching the script, let alone each line in that way.

one of my problems is that I don't look deep enough into what is beneath the surface of any film. I just look at movies and think "that was good" or "that was bad" instead of thinking about why it was either.

If I am going to direct films I need to dig deeper and anaylze what is beyond the lines and get into the pyche of each character. Since I write the scripts, It should start there and then I need to convey to the actors how to get to that place in an effective manner.

When I look at some of the acting in your films and a few others in this fest I can tell that time was spent getting all of those subtle nuances right.

Now I can't wait until my next project.

Thanks much for that. It does help a GREAT deal.


It's funny: I learned some of the best ways of talking to and motivating actors from an improv theater director. We were working on a project that got never got produced, and went through a coupe of rehearsals. Most useful thing that i saw him do was to take the script and go through it line by line with the actors and for every single line, look for the subtext.

Now this helps with writing as well, but from an acting perspective it forced the actors to look at their motivations for what they're saying. In each conversation, we're all trying to get something from each other, and everything we say is in fortherance from that. It's a slight manipulation and it occurs in a real conversation. Once your actors are able to read the subtext of a scene, where it's only just a line like:

MARY: Good morning Todd.
TODD: Mary.

Your actors will be able tio imbue something so simple with a sense of character and layers of meaning that will change the entire scene. Mary understands her motivations, knows where she's been. Let's say she's secretly in love with Todd, and she's been out drinking the night before. She may be a little hungover and a little flirtatious with her line. And let's say Todd secretly hates Mary, think's she;s a slut. Completely changes his interaction with her and the delivery becomes real. Even if Todd is only there for that one line.

The actors know what their characters are thinking, and through rehearsals, which is more than just knowing lines, they are able to take these characters onto themselves, and imbue strong characteristics onto the scene. They can build the world around themselves and allow us to peek in when you finally call for "ACTION!"

Hope this helps.

[Rodney V. Smith]

Glad you can find it useful. I try to approach my scripts that way as well but only after its written. This is for the editing stage: you have to get it on paper first ortherwise you'll never get anywhere. Table readings are especially good for this since you can hear the line out loud coming from someone elses mouth.

There is a huge difference between good dialog and dialog that's too on the nose. Good dialog flows from one point to the other, a subtle dance of extractign information and demanding a response and furthering plot at the same time. And it is full of character. ON THE NOSE dialog just states what needs to be said. Period. It's usually a mouthful. Build the scene and listen to what the character is saying, and then listen to what he;s really trying to SAY. add subtleties and innuendo that is relevent to the character. Some people are storytellers and some people are jokers, but they all want something from each other.

When you do the table read, put the script down and listen. If you hear something off, or wrong, or something you like, make a note. Ask them to stop, make the note then continue. Do not read off your script. You only see the lines and get wrapped up in how cool this is, so you only hear it in your head becasue you're reading it.

[Richard J. Johnson]

I really appreciate the advice puck. I will utilize these practices for sure on my next film. This fest has really given me all the tools to do better on my next one. I can't thank you enough for looking out with the poster, the screen shoat and the comments. :beer: thanks.


Glad you can find it useful. I try to approach my scripts that way as well but only after its written. This is for the editing stage: you have to get it on paper first ortherwise you'll never get anywhere. Table readings are especially good for this since you can hear the line out loud coming from someone elses mouth.

There is a huge difference between good dialog and dialog that's too on the nose. Good dialog flows from one point to the other, a subtle dance of extractign information and demanding a response and furthering plot at the same time. And it is full of character. ON THE NOSE dialog just states what needs to be said. Period. It's usually a mouthful. Build the scene and listen to what the character is saying, and then listen to what he;s really trying to SAY. add subtleties and innuendo that is relevent to the character. Some people are storytellers and some people are jokers, but they all want something from each other.

When you do the table read, put the script down and listen. If you hear something off, or wrong, or something you like, make a note. Ask them to stop, make the note then continue. Do not read off your script. You only see the lines and get wrapped up in how cool this is, so you only hear it in your head becasue you're reading it.

[Rodney V. Smith]

I really appreciate the advice puck. I will utilize these practices for sure on my next film. This fest has really given me all the tools to do better on my next one. I can't thank you enough for looking out with the poster, the screen shoat and the comments. :beer: thanks.

Glad to be of service. It all goes towards becoming a better filmmaker, right? You're already pretty decent :grin: so now it's time to ramp it up and get the FULL effect of everything falling into place. No actor is going to bail on you after you show them this piece, so you should be able to gather a good variety of actors. Just remember to keep them diverse in looks, ages, and races as well and you'll have a great looking movie.

Now time to crew up for the next one...

[Richard J. Johnson]

No doubt. You aint too bad yourself.:Drogar-Evil(DBG):


Glad to be of service. It all goes towards becoming a better filmmaker, right? You're already pretty decent :grin: so now it's time to ramp it up and get the FULL effect of everything falling into place. No actor is going to bail on you after you show them this piece, so you should be able to gather a good variety of actors. Just remember to keep them diverse in looks, ages, and races as well and you'll have a great looking movie.

Now time to crew up for the next one...

[Richard J. Johnson]

This has been hell of a fest!! I have learned so much. The great films here really inspired me to get better and the comments simply can not be ignored.

[Marlon Ladd]

Man, if you weren't so far away, I'd help you out and act in one of your films. As an actor, I agree with what Puck was saying about the motivations. They are very, very important, because the character needs to know where he's coming from and where he or she wants to go. When they don't know that, acting can come off as reading or you might have 2 actors in a dialogue scene and it doesn't mesh right. Sometimes as Directors when we're on the set we think something looks fine and works until we get in the editing room and realize it didn't work as well as we thought. So, paying attention to details of somebody's acting performance can be key. And sometimes it's good to get a couple of shots of the actor saying a line exactly the way you intended it and then giving them one take to play around with it.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Man, if you weren't so far away, I'd help you out and act in one of your films. As an actor, I agree with what Puck was saying about the motivations. They are very, very important, because the character needs to know where he's coming from and where he or she wants to go. When they don't know that, acting can come off as reading or you might have 2 actors in a dialogue scene and it doesn't mesh right. Sometimes as Directors when we're on the set we think something looks fine and works until we get in the editing room and realize it didn't work as well as we thought. So, paying attention to details of somebody's acting performance can be key. And sometimes it's good to get a couple of shots of the actor saying a line exactly the way you intended it and then giving them one take to play around with it.

Thanks Marlon I totally agree. I would love to have onboard for the next one. But you demanding a first class flight, 5 star hotel accomodations, and $3000 a night call girls, is just not in the budget......this time.:beer:

[Rodney V. Smith]

What if he agreed to only ONE $3000 /night call girl?

[Rodney V. Smith]

No doubt. You aint too bad yourself.:Drogar-Evil(DBG):

Thanks dude.

[Richard J. Johnson]

What if he agreed to only ONE $3000 /night call girl?

LOL. For 3 grand I'm joining in. Or at least watching.:Drogar-Love(DBG):

[Marlon Ladd]

YOu can watch, but who's videotaping?? Jeeeeez! C'mon man.

[Marlon Ladd]

Thanks dude.

Puck, did you critique my flick??

[Rodney V. Smith]

i gotta post it :grin: couple of distractions here eith music video. will post in a few, just for you dude.

[Luis_]

cool, i liked it. I wanted more "film look" more color correction, more... or actually less sharpness! lol...
A lot of the parts did have it...
I liked it a lot, the only thing is... when it comes to Lossfest rules... it didn't make me cry....

[LuckyStudio 13]

Here is the original Luckystudio 13's cinematic treatment (color graded and color correction) done for the film. This is not the final edit and obviously this is before any final score or sound effects added to the final film.

http://www.vimeo.com/3110218

I like the story and Rich certainly did a GREAT job on this short ! Cant wait to see more of his future work !!


enjoy.

[Chad_from_Chad]

I like the walk into sci-fi. Dialogue was a little weaker in this one though. That little no dialogue back and forth between the lab assistant and the cop was very not good. It was choppy and fast, almost to where it was funny how badly it stood out. I like the story though, and the performances were much stronger than the settings in most of the scenes. Can't wait to see what you do next.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Here is the original Luckystudio 13's cinematic treatment (color graded and color correction) done for the film. This is not the final edit and obviously this is before any final score or sound effects added to the final film.

http://www.vimeo.com/3110218

I like the story and Rich certainly did a GREAT job on this short ! Cant wait to see more of his future work !!


enjoy.

Check out his grade for sure. I made so many changes after his grade I didn't want to bog him down with any more work.:( especially since he did it for free.

[Richard J. Johnson]

cool, i liked it. I wanted more "film look" more color correction, more... or actually less sharpness! lol...
A lot of the parts did have it...
I liked it a lot, the only thing is... when it comes to Lossfest rules... it didn't make me cry....

Sorry you didn't cry:crybaby: I think I removed too much of the noise. Some noise is okay.