View Full Version : Two Rows In - A Bob Zimmerman Film
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/TwoRowsInPOSTER.jpg
A Story by Bob Zimmerman and Michael Anthony Horrigan
Written by Michael Anthony Horrigan
Directed by Bob Zimmerman
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The Cast
Kelly Barbour-Conerty
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/4256/1221669088.jpg
David Dillman
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/4256/1221669295.jpg
Matt Eberle
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/4256/1221669390.jpg
Michael Anthony Horrigan
08-10-2008, 06:38 PM
Reserved in case I want to stir up trouble. :D
BTW, I will work on a new poster later.
Cheers,
Mike
Ok here we go. I had a idea and told Mike. He had some ideas and we went back a forth a few time. He wrote a great script for this story. We did a lot of this back and forth on his iPhone , my ipod touch and computer when I was on vacation.
Yes Mike did a great job on making the poster.
Now to find some good actors and a location.
Susanne G.
08-10-2008, 06:44 PM
Hey Zim,
nice to see you back - and then with Micheal as the screenwriter - seems very good. Best wishes and much luck!
Susanne
pauly_the_hitman
08-10-2008, 07:02 PM
Looks cool can't wait to see what you guys come up with. Good Luck.
Pauly
Michael Anthony Horrigan
08-10-2008, 07:17 PM
Ok here we go. I had a idea and told Mike. He had some ideas and we went back a forth a few time. He wrote a great script for this story. We did a lot of this back and forth on his iPhone , my ipod touch and computer when I was on vacation.
Yes Mike did a great job on making the poster.
Now to find some good actors and a location.LOL!
Yah, we were both away from home. Pretty funny messaging back on forth.
I can't wait to see this thing come to life. Good luck, Zim! :thumbup:
Michael Anthony Horrigan
08-10-2008, 07:19 PM
Hey Zim,
nice to see you back - and then with Micheal as the screenwriter - seems very good. Best wishes and much luck!
SusanneThanks for the compliment, Susanne.
No pressure, right? :D
A little pressure will help,,,,I think!!
Blaine
08-10-2008, 08:23 PM
Great poster for a horror flick. Maybe this isn't one...just sayin'. :beer:
Michael Anthony Horrigan
08-10-2008, 08:29 PM
Great poster for a horror flick. Maybe this isn't one...just sayin'. :beer:Creepy, maybe. Horror, not even close. :beer:
welcome to the fest i like the poster
Great poster for a horror flick. Maybe this isn't one...just sayin'. :beer:
It is not a horror film. I've never looked at the Twilight Zone as horror.
Michael Anthony Horrigan
08-11-2008, 08:04 AM
It is not a horror film. I've never looked at the Twilight Zone as horror.
There's not even any blood on the poster! :D
Once we have the synopsis written things should be clear.
Cheer,
Mike
Simon Höfer
08-11-2008, 11:13 AM
Whooohooo! Welcome to the fest! :)
Gord.T
08-16-2008, 12:27 AM
Posterwise, replace the sky for sure. It's the wrong sky look and it looks way too CG.
The horizon looks too linear, that is, a horizontal line. Maybe rough that up a bit in PS.
All of it looks CG, But some compositing can help. Lighting, but you can't here, so color correction, gama and every other tricks you can think of may pull it together.
I've seen fake crap CG stuff pulled together in composite that looks 100%.
Maybe a night-ish, blue-cold, low contrast look? A wild guess mind you.
Just sayin...
//What I'm trying to say is, and a lot of people miss, is, pulling it together in composite.
It's probably the most over looked issue I've ever come across. :)
Michael Anthony Horrigan
08-16-2008, 06:21 AM
Thanks. It's a temp poster.
It's a real picture, btw. Just messed with in PS to look weird. :)
The car and stuff was added last.
Cheers,
Mike
Well I found the location I want but not sure if I can use it yet.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3040.jpg
It look long enough but I got the ok to use my location. It can all be done in one spot. Now to make sure all the actors are still going to do this and if they are I would like to shoot next weekend
Hurricane Ike will make it to Illinois by Sunday they are saying. Maybe 4" of rain. We have flood watches now. So things might have to dry out first.
ZazaCast
09-12-2008, 06:01 PM
I like the poster (although for some reason a corn field comes to mind....). Welcome to the fest, I'm looking forward to this one.
gabrielflorit
09-12-2008, 06:05 PM
How did you get the OK for the cemetery?
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-12-2008, 07:14 PM
Cant wait to see this come to life!
Good luck!
Mike
How did you get the OK for the cemetery?
I talked to the trustees of the cemetery. I can go anywhere there but I can't say the name or show the name of the cemetery in the film. They are afraid some kids will see the movie and go out and knock over grave stones!! So no one will know the name of the place.
Cant wait to see this come to life!
Good luck!
Mike
Trying to stay on your script. So far we should be really close. Everyone really likes it.
Ok I have all the parts filled and the location secured. The plan is to try and shoot most of it this friday. I don't know if it can all be done in one day. But most of it ........
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-15-2008, 01:17 PM
Ok I have all the parts filled and the location secured. The plan is to try and shoot most of it this friday. I don't know if it can all be done in one day. But most of it ........Good luck! :thumbup:
Some of the actors in my film
save
The Cast
Kelly Barbour-Conerty
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/4256/1221669088.jpg
David Dillman
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/4256/1221669295.jpg
Matt Eberle
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/4256/1221669390.jpg
Ok in about four hours I start shooting the film!! I think I forgot something!!
ZazaCast
09-19-2008, 11:32 AM
Ok in about four hours I start shooting the film!! I think I forgot something!!
...you always do! Have a GREAT shoot!!!:thumbup:
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-19-2008, 12:16 PM
Ok in about four hours I start shooting the film!! I think I forgot something!!You probably forgot the ball! :)
Good luck! :thumbup:
What ball? I know I just about did that so I just put it out in my car before I drove off without it
John LaBonney
09-19-2008, 05:43 PM
Well I found the location I want but not sure if I can use it yet.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3040.jpg
Cool spot. Looks like there are a lot of interesting locations for this fest!
We did it!! So far it all looks really good. I'll post some pictures soon
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-19-2008, 09:37 PM
We did it!! So far it all looks really good. I'll post some pictures soonHow soon is soon? :D
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3092-1.jpg
the actors in the back. I'm in the front row on the left and the rest of my crew
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-19-2008, 09:40 PM
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3092.jpg
Cool. Maybe make them a little larger. Can't wait to see some footage grabs. :beer:
Cool. Maybe make them a little larger. Can't wait to see some footage grabs. :beer:
Back up one post,,,,,that is bigger,,,what happened?
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-19-2008, 09:46 PM
Back up one post,,,,,that is bigger,,,what happened?I quoted that post, it was tiny. Seems great now!
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3081-1.jpg
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3083-1.jpg
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3070-1.jpg
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-19-2008, 10:03 PM
Sweet BTS pics!
Susanne G.
09-20-2008, 06:57 AM
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3092-1.jpg
the actors in the back. I'm in the front row on the left and the rest of my crew
This is a nice photo - I like it always to see also a photo of the crew and not only a photo of the actors. Do you are the person with the camera on the left side or the first person on the left side? I see that you have a really lovely old Mercedes. Will the car make also part of the film?
Susanne
Simon Höfer
09-20-2008, 07:36 AM
Congrats! Nice BTS pictures! Bloody Mercedes :D
I'm the first person on the left. The guy holding the camera owns the Mercedes.
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-23-2008, 07:19 AM
Post some screenshots! :)
ZazaCast
09-23-2008, 08:38 AM
Great BTS shots! ...and see... cornfield! I love it (we have a lot of those up here in the northeast too). Now like Michael says, lets see some screenshots.
Congratulations!
Are you allowed to show screenshots?
The editing is going really good. I reshoot a few close ups last night. I've talk to a guy about writing some music, adjusting a few things. So far so good.
Michael Anthony Horrigan
09-23-2008, 09:06 AM
Are you allowed to show screenshots?
Yes.
You just can't post actual footage that you are going to use. Still frames of the footage is allowed though.
Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-28-2008, 02:01 PM
Dude! You're approved! :)
Two Rows In (http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showthread.php?t=143838) - Zim - Uploaded - Approved
ZazaCast
10-28-2008, 03:12 PM
BooYah! Approved & ready to view.... Congrats.
gabrielflorit
10-28-2008, 09:17 PM
Ha - I see a pizza box on one of the cars. Let's have a show of hands for those NOT having bought pizza on a shoot. Anyone?
Tim Joy
10-28-2008, 09:29 PM
Ha - I see a pizza box on one of the cars. Let's have a show of hands for those NOT having bought pizza on a shoot. Anyone?
ME!
I didn't buy pizza, the owner gave it to me. So nice, just cause I asked.
oh, wait. I bought it the second time for shooting day 3.
Can't wait to see your film Zim!
Edgen
10-30-2008, 09:18 PM
looking forward to seeing your film bob! I'm diggin' the poster
/j
Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-30-2008, 09:30 PM
Zim would answer you but for some strange reason he still can't get on the site. Even though he has cleared his internet cookies.
Thanks for the comment on the poster! I actually meant to make another one but never got around to it. He like's it so all is good. :)
Cheers,
Mike
We had pizza and beer!!
Ha - I see a pizza box on one of the cars. Let's have a show of hands for those NOT having bought pizza on a shoot. Anyone?
Well after several hours I can log into DVXuser again!!
Mike Insane
10-30-2008, 11:56 PM
Approved and ready to rock. I love the BTS shots with all the crap on the hood of the car, so familiar, so earily familiar... ahhh makes me feel all misty eye'd.
Looking forward to your film.
Brian Parker
10-31-2008, 01:10 AM
Nice BTS shots, especially the one with the FX makeup work. Looking forward to it.
Jack Daniel Stanley
10-31-2008, 01:50 AM
Enjoying the BTS shots and cool poster.
So the poster makes two rows in sound like it refers to a field. The BTS make it seem like the title would refer to a cemetery ... curious to watch and see which it is :beer:
Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-31-2008, 06:46 AM
Could be both. :)
Michael Anthony Horrigan
10-31-2008, 12:16 PM
Nice job man. Great improvement over the last one.
I really liked the opening scene as well. Draws you right in.
Good luck!
MrKilloran
10-31-2008, 02:04 PM
Towards the end the audio seemed to give out and it was kind of quiet.
Good job though, it was enthralling.
Thanks. One problem we had were the locust. They got so loud. My mic did a great job of picking them up. That last line really called for it to trail off.....but the locust were louder. We probably could have skip the last line anyway. Glad you enjoyed it.
Towards the end the audio seemed to give out and it was kind of quiet.
Good job though, it was enthralling.
stinkpot
10-31-2008, 07:56 PM
Cool story man. I particularly liked cornfield shots... they add an element of confusion.
:beer:
ZazaCast
10-31-2008, 11:44 PM
Interesting film...good score, nice shots. I enjoyed the ride. Really good job! I think the audio could have used a little work as well as the acting. I would have been much more freaked out if I just hit a kid.
Congrats to the cast & crew!
Brian Parker
11-01-2008, 02:54 AM
Everybody pretty much covered what I wanted to say but it was a really good film...my favorite shots were the movements through the corn combined with the rustling of the leaves and stalks. I enjoyed watching it. Good job!
darkrequiem1134
11-01-2008, 03:50 AM
wicked plain poster, its actually kind of interesting, very simple i like it
Marlon Ladd
11-01-2008, 09:27 AM
Bob, this was a very good short. I really liked the story. If I could point out anything that wasn't stellar it would be the acting at the very beginning. However, after that it picked up and I thought it was very good. The music was subtle and nice as well. Great location with the cornfield too. Nice job.
heccky
11-01-2008, 11:00 AM
nice video
OdulMovies
11-01-2008, 07:12 PM
Hey Bob,
We did a better job this time....
OdulMovies
11-01-2008, 07:13 PM
Let's start the next one!
gabrielflorit
11-01-2008, 08:17 PM
Really liked the walking and running shots through the corn, well done. How did you do this? Handheld? Steadycam?
Was a little bit dark in the cemetery, could have used some HMI's or something, but I bet it would have been hard to bring a generator to a cemetery, ha.
Enjoyed the score, it was subtle and well done.
Didn't enjoy the acting at all. In the hands of more competent actors this could have been a serious contender.
No the corn scene was hand held. He did a nice job. He was standing on the outside of the field moving with the actors.
I thought the actors did fine for what they had to work with. Plus only one time to practice their lines. We shot the whole thing in three hours. Sorry to say I was rushing everyone.
We did have a generator. But it was for a fog machine which we didn't use.
It is by the car. But thanks for the "could have been a serious contender" For my third film that is good.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3083-1.jpg
gabrielflorit
11-01-2008, 11:14 PM
No the corn scene was hand held. He did a nice job. He was standing on the outside of the field moving with the actors.
I thought the actors did fine for what they had to work with. Plus only one time to practice their lines. We shot the whole thing in three hours. Sorry to say I was rushing everyone.
We did have a generator. But it was for a fog machine which we didn't use.
It is by the car. But thanks for the "could have been a serious contender" For my third film that is good.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/zimvg/DSC_3083-1.jpg
3 hours? That's nuts!!! In that case you pulled off an amazing piece. Jeez, I would lose it if I only had 3 hours. I think the scene where I "act" took 3 hours' worth of bad takes!
Thanks. we got out there and I knew when the sun was going to set and I tried to base it all on that. I was getting in a panic. The script Mike Horrigan wrote called this to be shot at night with flashlights but I didn't think I was going to be able to pull it off.
I got the actors the script about a week before by emai. They meet once and on the next friday we all met at the graveyard. I had only met Ludo the camera guy before this...so it was hi, nice to meet you,,ACTION. Next film,,,,,,more time! But we did it.
gabrielflorit
11-01-2008, 11:31 PM
I had only met Ludo the camera guy before this...so it was hi, nice to meet you,,ACTION
Hahahaha! Good thing you kept your sanity. :beer:
The actors do a lot of theater and they were real troopers making this. Considering what I put them through they were awesome.
Hahahaha! Good thing you kept your sanity. :beer:
I think I lost part of it but that should help on the next film!
OdulMovies
11-02-2008, 01:53 AM
Bob,
We did a great job in a short period of time. Of course, before we were able to shoot the film we had to get those actors together and that took longer than 3 hours, the pizza was done fast. Of course our make up guy was awesome too, thank you TIM.
How could we have done it without our assistant? Always there with clapboard shouting "quiet on the set" thanks to that the Director and Camera Operator were able to focus on the job. Well some actors are good and some are better. Bob, thank you for letting me be a part of your project. Was totally a team effort!
PS: Mike awesome script! Justin awesome job on the music. Editing crew, thank you for all the hours you spend editing.
OdulMovies
11-02-2008, 01:56 AM
Bob, you didn't panic! Hahahaha
Maximus
11-02-2008, 09:27 AM
A good old fashioned ghost story. Well done!
A good old fashioned ghost story. Well done!
Thank you.
Rodney V. Smith
11-03-2008, 01:32 PM
Review as it plays:
Good music. Good start.
Would have loved to see a moving shot on the first reveal. Didn't quite like th reveal of the boy before the dude does into the corn. He needed to lead us into the field. Otherwise we feel like we know more or should know more. Good shots in the corn... Maybe if we were seeing the back of the boy instead of a full shot, so it's LEADING us elsewhere... that would help sell the spookiness a little better. A good OTS would have been awesome in this sequence.
Actor is very awkward in this sequence. I do like how the woman discovers the body. Sound sent way off and we couldn't hear anything. Still no connection between the characters so that created confusion for me. How are they related? ARE they related at all?
And his reaction to seeing himself there with the kid? Didn't make sense that he didn't react, and storywise, the shot made no sense to me. Why WAS he seeing himself with the kid? Big "huh?" moment there. Provoked more a kind of time travel than ghost story for me.
Didn't understand the ending, especially considering we never knew the characters names. the names were never spoken out loud.
All in all, some story elements need to be fleshed out and I really wish you had better angles to choose from that suited the narrative much better. Run over your shot list with your editor next time, or even have him on set, and some of your shots would be much improved and motivated to be narrative instead of just being cool shots.
Good luck and thanks for the story.
I think your making to much and wanting to much for a 3 minute short. A couple driving hit a kid on a bike. They see no body. He sees the kid in the cornfield and gives chase thinking he is hurt. The kid is dead and goes to a grave yard where his father his buried. His dad comes back and takes his son to the other side. How? Why? Where? I don't know it is the Twilight Zone!!
Just a simple unexplained ghost story. Time travel? Not sure how you got that
Rodney V. Smith
11-03-2008, 05:55 PM
The man at the graveside was another actor? He was dressed very similarly to the lead actor so it lead me to believe he was seeing himself with the kid. That's the source of my confusion right there. Didn't understand that it was someone else completely different.
Rodney V. Smith
11-03-2008, 06:00 PM
Went back and looked again and now that I see it, BOTH actors are balding, and BOTH are dressed in white shirts. This is where costume choice would have avoided confusion to viewers. Maybe I'm the only one who got confused...
I'm trying to give an honest critique here, not tear you down, so please just take it as it is meant.
Michael Anthony Horrigan
11-03-2008, 06:04 PM
Went back and looked again and now that I see it, BOTH actors are balding, and BOTH are dressed in white shirts. This is where costume choice would have avoided confusion to viewers. Maybe I'm the only one who got confused...
I'm trying to give an honest critique here, not tear you down, so please just take it as it is meant.
I helped to write this and I see your point, although you also seem to be the first to have jumped to the wrong conclusion so.... I see it both ways. :)
I don't think it's a big issue though.
Cheers,
Mike
Rodney V. Smith
11-03-2008, 06:08 PM
Well it certainly gives it the right feeling now that I have clarity. The story makes complete sense now and it's exactly as I had expected upon first viewing. I just watched again to be completely fair and objective and you're right: it's a good old fashioned ghost story.
Thanks for the story and good luck to you. Keep making the films and just learn from your experiences like we all are.
Michael Anthony Horrigan
11-03-2008, 06:11 PM
Well it certainly gives it the right feeling now that I have clarity. The story makes complete sense now and it's exactly as I had expected upon first viewing. I just watched again to be completely fair and objective and you're right: it's a good old fashioned ghost story.
Thanks for the story and good luck to you. Keep making the films and just learn from your experiences like we all are.
Yup, simple but effective. Zim is improving at an amazing rate. :beer:
I'm looking forward to his next entry.
Cheers,
Mike
Rodney V. Smith
11-03-2008, 06:17 PM
Yup, simple but effective. Zim is improving at an amazing rate. :beer:
I'm looking forward to his next entry.
Cheers,
Mike
:beer: :beer: :beer:
The man at the graveside was another actor? He was dressed very similarly to the lead actor so it lead me to believe he was seeing himself with the kid. That's the source of my confusion right there. Didn't understand that it was someone else completely different.
I was looking at that later wishing I had the lead actor in a dark shirt. Good point I see what you are saying.....
Thanks,,,,,even if one person sees something others could too. It is a very good point. I was really more worried about the two ghost being dressed the same. But I will keep a better eye on the actors dress. I don't want anyone to get confused. I was really taking back by the time travel thing,,,,but that is not a bad idea really!
Well it certainly gives it the right feeling now that I have clarity. The story makes complete sense now and it's exactly as I had expected upon first viewing. I just watched again to be completely fair and objective and you're right: it's a good old fashioned ghost story.
Thanks for the story and good luck to you. Keep making the films and just learn from your experiences like we all are.
Thanks Mike,,,you have been a big help
Yup, simple but effective. Zim is improving at an amazing rate. :beer:
I'm looking forward to his next entry.
Cheers,
Mike
Susanne G.
11-03-2008, 06:59 PM
Zim - you did a big step ahaed of quality from the last fest to this one. I am very impressed. Your story is clever and the score fantastic. Only the acting is a little bit rigid. I am very curious to watch your next film! :beer:
Susanne
Thanks Susanne. I hope to do even better next time.
Zim - you did a big step ahaed of quality from the last fest to this one. I am very impressed. Your story is clever and the score fantastic. Only the acting is a little bit rigid. I am very curious to watch your next film! :beer:
Susanne
OdulMovies
11-03-2008, 07:10 PM
Yes zim good job! :beer::beer::beer: I like to drink too
OdulMovies
11-03-2008, 07:17 PM
I have to say Zim "you had a great team working together with you..." and don't forget that goodlooking dutch guy with that old mercedes and beer in his car wasn't he your camera operator? hahahaa
OdulMovies
11-03-2008, 07:21 PM
I am talking about this guy here...
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/41519/1225765164.jpg
yes Ludo we came along was from the last film,,,,
alex whitmer
11-04-2008, 10:40 AM
The scenes through the corn and in the cemetery were nice. I enjoyed the pursuit/search - moved at a nice pace.
Didn't buy into the car and bike ended up on the grass, but I think was was just keeping the film out of the middle of the road - and having encounted similar problems I see it as a 'couldn't be helped'.
also the cell phone thing was odd, and relied on too much as a driver for plot. Maybe after the woman sees the dead man, gets some blood on her, and she freaks, tries one more call, then races through the corn, gets slapped in the face a little, then sees her husband staring at a tomb. I don't know, somehow the cell didn't really do anything for me.
As a whole the concept is strong - but maybe a little too convenient to be killed nect to your dad's resting place. Maybe an opening montage of the man exiting the cemetery after visiting the grave.
I think I would have liked to see more search in the cemetery as well.
Anyways, I enjoyed the film.
Alex
Darkline
11-04-2008, 10:46 AM
Hi Zim,
I was a little confused by the short so I read the thread.
your explanation of the story here makes total sense and I think you have a nice little idea. I too however was confused because I thought it was the same character as earlier. I think if that had been given a little more emphasis then it would have all fallen into place for me.
I did like the kid walking through the corn, thought that was creepy.
all the best
Thanks Alex. I wanted to drive into the corn, but the farmer might have been unhappy about that.
The corn field was right next to the cemetery so we didn't need two locations.
Having the woman show up at the tomb would have been cool. Good idea.
All I can say about the kid getting killed next to the graveyard his father was buried in is,,,it is the Twilight Zone. I can't explain it either!!
The scenes through the corn and in the cemetery were nice. I enjoyed the pursuit/search - moved at a nice pace.
Didn't buy into the car and bike ended up on the grass, but I think was was just keeping the film out of the middle of the road - and having encounted similar problems I see it as a 'couldn't be helped'.
also the cell phone thing was odd, and relied on too much as a driver for plot. Maybe after the woman sees the dead man, gets some blood on her, and she freaks, tries one more call, then races through the corn, gets slapped in the face a little, then sees her husband staring at a tomb. I don't know, somehow the cell didn't really do anything for me.
As a whole the concept is strong - but maybe a little too convenient to be killed nect to your dad's resting place. Maybe an opening montage of the man exiting the cemetery after visiting the grave.
Anyways, I enjoyed the film.
Alex
I think I would have liked to see more search in the cemetery.
Steve Strickland
11-04-2008, 10:55 AM
Congrats on putting out a quality short. I enjoyed this one.
I haven't really read other replies, so, sorry if my comments have been covered.
First I loved the tracking shot along the corn. This was my favorite scene in the film. Really sucked me into the film.
I also thought the grading and score were really well done. They really fit the mood well.
The placement of the car wreck seem a little weird, perhaps unbelievable. What were they doing driving that far off the road? The other issue I had was perhaps the cell phone thing. Why did they all of a sudden have a connection?
Those gripes aside, I thought this was a good short with potential to be extended a little. Maybe clear up some questions that were cut to fit the time limit.
Great job, I'm looking forward to seeing your next movie.
Thanks Richie. I thought about having the car going down the road but decided it wasn't really needed. Maybe it was.
The cell phone in same areas don't always work to good in the country. Maybe just calling 911 would have been better. Good points. Thanks for watching and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
alex whitmer
11-04-2008, 12:08 PM
All I can say about the kid getting killed next to the graveyard his father was buried in is,,,it is the Twilight Zone. I can't explain it either!!
Very good!! Put that way, it all makes sense!
aw
pauly_the_hitman
11-04-2008, 12:29 PM
I was taken out of the story at the car and bike revel it seemed very out of place makes no sense. I got drawn back in by the chase through the corn nicely shot. Of course the acting on the phones part did put me off again but the revel of the kid the second time drew me back. Overall I did enjoy it.
Pauly
There is a gravel road right there,,,maybe a wide shot and the car moving or something would have helped. But thanks Pauly
Very good!! Put that way, it all makes sense!
aw
Thanks alex
Robbie Comeau
11-04-2008, 12:41 PM
How on earth did the car end up in the corn field, a good 30-40 feet from the road? /would they really skid/drive that far off road in to the open grassy area?
I could see the sidewalk/road in the background and I just didn't buy it.
However, the story did progress and it got cool near the end.
The acting wasn't the strongest, but it played out well enough for me to keep watching.
Robbie
Go back and watch it. The car is on the edge of the field. I think your looking at the poster. It never got changed. That is a gravel road you see behind the car, which I did put a sound effect of a car on a gravel road.
I'm glad you watch it all....that is always a good thing!!LOL
How on earth did the car end up in the corn field, a good 30-40 feet from the road? /would they really skid/drive that far off road in to the open grassy area?
I could see the sidewalk/road in the background and I just didn't buy it.
However, the story did progress and it got cool near the end.
The acting wasn't the strongest, but it played out well enough for me to keep watching.
Robbie
John LaBonney
11-04-2008, 02:42 PM
I really liked the cornfield shots. Watching them walk through that great great scenery really gives some suspense and the feeling that something is going to happen.
Some of the lighting is a bit distracting and dark, I found myself squinting a little bit to see sometimes.
Thanks John,,,,Even in the 3 hours we shot the light changed fast. The scene by the grave with the three actors was a little dark.
Horncastle
11-06-2008, 11:26 PM
Hey Zim,
What an enormous improvement over your Timefest entry!! The story is pretty simple, but a good choice I think because you have made something that is really very watchable. I was going to mention continuity, but I see the changing light has been mentioned just above. I also noticed that there was blood on the outside of the windscreen in the scene inside the car, but not a moment later in the scene outside.
You had some great shots in the cornfield and in the graveyard, Justin Durban's score sounded good, all in all you did a good job.:thumbup:
Jason
Thanks Jason,,,,man I don't know about that blood on the windshield of the car. Maybe there is just a glare on the window and we can't see it. I never noticed that before. But we did the inside car scene first. Then they got out of the car. It is hard to tell but there is no blood by the football and the bike. We did that later.
Dick Campbell
11-07-2008, 09:48 PM
thought the opening premise was weak (hitting a cyclist in a cornfield), but very well done technically.
thought the opening premise was weak (hitting a cyclist in a cornfield), but very well done technically.
thanks. The cyclist was hit on a gravel road and the car stopped by the cornfield. The body was "Two Rows In"
really cool shot inside the car when the man tries to use the wiper to clear the blood. not the best acting in a way though, i'd think they'd freak out a lot more than that.
good shots through the corn field, nice idea. kinda convenient that the cemetary is right there but i am ok with that, maybe make the chase a lot more harried and quicken the pace, make us run through the field and scramble a lot more. make the guy even fall down while he is chasing after the boy. push the limits. also the cell phone got tired real fast. she can try to call once, but even after the second time, it seems contrived. i'd rather see her doing nothing as an anxiety ridden mess while standing over the bloodied grass. she might even back away and then clumsily fall into the field where the body is? my 2 cents!
great effort! :thumbup:
Thanks Hoz. I wish I had done more in the cornfield too.
Bryce A
11-11-2008, 09:43 PM
Thanks John,,,,Even in the 3 hours we shot the light changed fast. The scene by the grave with the three actors was a little dark.
Ouch! Been there, done that. Not fun. Sorry you had that problem! As I was watching and started to wonder. Anyway, David Dillman, pulled off that last head nod really well. It's a silly comment, but there was a very specific feeling that needed to be convey in that moment and he hit it. Overall, the story telling technique was strong. The technical aspects need some work. Mainly in the visuals, audio was fine. Keep at it and I look forward to more! :beer:
Ouch! Been there, done that. Not fun. Sorry you had that problem! As I was watching and started to wonder. Anyway, David Dillman, pulled off that last head nod really well. It's a silly comment, but there was a very specific feeling that needed to be convey in that moment and he hit it. Overall, the story telling technique was strong. The technical aspects need some work. Mainly in the visuals, audio was fine. Keep at it and I look forward to more! :beer:
Thanks Bryce. I thought David did a great job at the end.
The lighting, the locust, the limited time all caused some problems. But we pulled it off.
A big thanks to a couple of people who without them my film never would have been made. Ludo van der Hout and Mike Horrigan. Thank you for all your help and advice.