"An Enchanting Twist Of Peccadilloes" - A ZazaCast Film

[ZazaCast]

View the movie here: http://www.vimeo.com/1921889 (http://www.vimeo.com/1921889)


http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1224447351.jpg

Written By: Alex Whitmer
Directed By: Joe Saba
Produced By: ZazaCast Films
DP: Tim Joy

DVX100b, 24pa, squeeze mode

Starring:

Giselle Hyland
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217702896.jpg http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217705126.jpg

Phil Donahue
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217702988.jpg http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217705126.jpg

Mandy Evans
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217703070.jpg http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217705126.jpg

Nicole Brito
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217703150.jpg http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217705126.jpg
I'm sad to announce that Nicole can not make the shoot, rather than just replacing her, we've decided to write the part out as it was not crutial to the storyline. I'm looking forward to casting Nicole in future projects!

[ZazaCast]

7/29/08
Script: Locked! Ready to go....

7/31/08
Location: Old Stone House Inn!

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217728767.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.Com/uploaded/35446/1217728800.jpg

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217728821.jpg

8/1/08
Script: Locked!

8/4/08
Shot List: Shot list completed. Now on to the storyboards. I had a couple crew people back out, so trying to fill those now. I also have to make a quick prop list and start getting that stuff together.

8/7/08
Props: Just talked to the 'Innkeeper' and have use of a bunch of props needed for this one. These people have been GREAT! They made a reading group change their gathering to another day just for us. Please look for them in the credits & if you're ever up in the northeast and need a nice place to stay...give them a ring! Altamont Old Stone House Inn...find them on the web.

Ordered a really cool 'slider' from an industrial supplier...I'm going to see if I can get this together for the shoot and add a bit of motion to some shots, plus it will be easier to move around than the crane & dolly. This one will have about 3' of travel. If it turns out good, I'll be sure to post a DIY thread.

8/8/08
Cast: Nicole had to drop out...looking for a replacement.
Script: Unlocked... a few more tweaks (cause, after all...it's not ready until it's ready!).

8/9/08
DIY Slider: Got the stuff and after three trips to the hardware store, finally got it together and working. This thing is Great! Once I had all the parts I needed, it only took about half an hour to put together. Works like a charm.
Crew: Looks like I'll be getting some much needed & appreciated help with this flick. Found a few DVXusers in VT that are going to be heading over for the shoot. I'll be firming that up later today. BOOYAH!

8/10/08
Crew: I'm pleased to announce the addition of Tim Joy as DP! Tim will be heading over from Vermont for the shoot, lighting kit in tow. I'm really looking forward to working with him on this project.
DIY Slider: ...this thing seems to work nice. I'll post a link as soon as I get some test footage together.

8/13/08
Script: Tweaks done... script officially locked! We lost one of our actors, but it was a very small part, thus the rewrite. First table read next week in preparation for the shoot.
Storyboards: Storyboards completed and posted online for cast & crew. This should really help to make sure we're all on the same page.
DP: Tim is working on some lighting diagrams as I type here. We're looking to get a moody, mid-60's look & feel (as best we can).
Props: I've managed to gather together about half the props on the list so far, another few shopping trips should do the trick!
Crew: Still looking for a good PA for the shoot...all this running around is making me crazy.

8/15/08
Props: Everything is pretty much gathered...GOD I love the "Dollar Store". It's amazing what you can find in there!

8/21/08
DP: Reviewed lighting shot by shot & it looks like Tim has everything covered. Again, we're trying to be as organized as possible since we only have one day to shoot everything. I can't wait until next Wednesday...the weather is looking good too!

8/25/08
I think we're ready to shoot! The cast had a read-through today in beautiful Central Park, NYC. The props are all together. The location is ready & waiting for us. My DP is heading into town tomorrow and we should have a pre-production meeting....all is well. Here's to a good shoot! Cheers.

Next thing you'll be seeing are BTS pictures.....

8/26/08
Packed and ready to go first thing tomorrow. Talent arrives @ 9:30am. Tim is already in town (and had better be getting a good nights sleep). It's going to be a LONG day tomorrow...but fun!

8/28/08
I successful shoot! A REALLY long day...but a great time was had by all (easy for me to say). The cast & crew (all 2 of us) did a wonderful job. The actors came prepared and well rehearsed. Tim did an incredible job(s)...thanks Tim! I have a few establishing shots I need to get, but other than that, I think we have a movie on our hands. Here's a few BTS photos. I'll post a few grabs shortly.

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1219963442.jpg
Breakfast at Giselle's!

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1221493427.jpg
Storyboard for scene....

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1219963459.jpg
Phil, Tim & Mandy prep for the scene.

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1219963475.jpg
Breakfast 2

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1219963493.jpg
Phil & Mandy

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1221493450.jpg
Storyboard for dinner scene...

Sorry I don't have more, but with just the two of us shooting this and only one day to get everything...just not enough time.

9/2/08
Finished all filming Sunday! (the first edit is almost done too...) Last Wednesday was the main shoot (12 hour day), Sunday was some pick-ups & establishing shots (5 hours). I started playing with the music & SFX here and there. It's coming together nicely.

9/3/08
I think we're there! I'm saying this film is in the can...finished. i'm doing some final renders now...I'll sit on it, take a break and look at it in a few days. Still plenty of time to make changes...but I hate to second guess myself (you have to know when to let go!). Cheers! Wish us luck.

Now it's on to the second film, "TWISTED"... with a good 2 months to go.

[Derrick_SA]

are those pro actors? they sure look like actors!

- Derrick

[img]

Nice poster and welcome to the fest.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Great start!

Cheers,

Mike

[ZazaCast]

are those pro actors? they sure look like actors!

- Derrick

Yes... those are actors!:)

[ZazaCast]

Nice poster and welcome to the fest.

Thanks! Say, weren't you working on a fil for the TimeFest... I seem to remember a very cool classic car on the poster? Did you ever finish it?

[ZazaCast]

Great start!

Cheers,

Mike

Thank Michael! Yes against my better judgement, I'm going to be making 2 films for TwilightFest. This is going to be a lot of fun...or something like that!

What is it they say; "what doesn't kill you will merely maim you beyond all recognition."

[ZazaCast]

Location picts added....

[pauly_the_hitman]

Man Phil Donahue sure is looking cool these days... A far cry from Television host...J/K but seriously looks cool. Good Luck.
Pauly

[Gord.T]

You do realize the biker (Phil) will have to be a nice guy, in the end at least?
It's a biker rule. Too many 60's Hells-Angles-like rapes & pilage BS.

I've met many Angles and have never had a prob with any of those guys.
In fact, always polite, easy going and helpful.

Politics aside I guess...ya know. Angles rock.
(Here's where I get another 'banned' warning, hehe.)

[ZazaCast]

Yes... I have many 'biker' friends...they are the best people I know!

[Jeff Anderson]

Looking good Zaza. So when does shooting start?

And something I saw on the Hell's Angels the other day
http://videos.missoulian.com/p/video?id=2035623

Definitely a good group of people IMO. Kool-aid is good too...

[ZazaCast]

Looking good Zaza. So when does shooting start?

And something I saw on the Hell's Angels the other day
http://videos.missoulian.com/p/video?id=2035623

Definitely a good group of people IMO. Kool-aid is good too...

Shooting 8/27, all day...it's a tough time of year to find a B&B in this neck of the woods (their peak season). We're tring to get everything in one day.

LOVE the video...I bet those kids make a killing!!:beer:

[Simon Höfer]

Welcome to the fest zasa!

[ZazaCast]

Updates in post #2...

I've had problems keeping crew committed...BLAST summer! Who needs a vacation when there's a film that needs to be made?

It seems there aren't many DXVuser's in Upstate NY...if fact, I might be the ONLY one. Created a post looking for others, but not one response? Thank God I'm used to doing everything myself.

If there are any of you in the area, I'd love to hear from you...

[Jeff Anderson]

I thought Mattykins was upstate NY? Might give him a shout

[Matt Sconce]

I hope you find some crew. Crew bailouts are a bummer for sure!

[ZazaCast]

I thought Mattykins was upstate NY? Might give him a shout

Yeah... Mattykins is a few hours away...and probably busy from the looks of his thread. I'll try him though...thanks.:)

[alex whitmer]

Love the new Twisted banner. Looks good.

a

[ZazaCast]

Love the new Twisted banner. Looks good.



a


Thanks Alex!

[ZazaCast]

update in second post for those interested....

[ZazaCast]

8/10: Updates posted!

[Susanne G.]

You are back with new entry - best wishes!

Susanne

[Jeff Anderson]

Glad to see you've gotten some help from VT. Looking good. Is your slider built off the same parts as this? Been thinking about making one of these...

[ZazaCast]

You are back with new entry - best wishes!

Susanne

Thanks Susanne-
Back times 2... If all goes well, I'll be entering 2 films this time around.
...and I believe congratulations is in order for you & your new husband!


Glad to see you've gotten some help from VT. Looking good. Is your slider built off the same parts as this? Been thinking about making one of these...

I assume you just left off a link???

[Susanne G.]

Wow - two films, that needs a lot of energy. I hope all will goes well! Thanks for congratulations - my husband is Jason, the DP of "Red Shoes".


Thanks Susanne-
Back times 2... If all goes well, I'll be entering 2 films this time around.
...and I believe congratulations is in order for you & your new husband!



I assume you just left off a link???

[Gord.T]

Updates in post #2...

I've had problems keeping crew committed...BLAST summer! Who needs a vacation when there's a film that needs to be made?

It seems there aren't many DXVuser's in Upstate NY...if fact, I might be the ONLY one. Created a post looking for others, but not one response? Thank God I'm used to doing everything myself.

If there are any of you in the area, I'd love to hear from you...


I saw that thread a few days ago and thought about responding. You mentioned a possible shoot in T.O. If you were going to come up I could give you my info and try to jump in. It's only a couple hrs drive from here.
I don't drive though so meeting up would have to be in the city, like at a bar or something. Even so, not even sure what I'd have to offer other than sluggin gear, booming the mike ect.

Maybe bro might have some spare time also, but he works crazy 12 hr rotating shifts so his schedule is nuts.
But if you decide to shoot in TO I'll pass it on to bro and see if he wants to participate or maybe offer a place to stay (quiet country side by a lake) or offer location suggestions? I don't know.

[ZazaCast]

Thanks Raptor... but the location is locked and it's about 15 minutes from my house. I have a couple people coming in from Vermont to help. I think we can make it happen.

[Mattykins]

Haha, I am in upstate!

I am back in Ithaca in two weeks from yesterday. Working on Perchance all the way. Wish I could help.

[Tim Joy]

I'm looking forward to this. My first official DP gig with those few-and-far-between Northeast dvxusers. Glad to be on board.


...now just gotta think about my entry...

[alex whitmer]

Great you're a part of this.

I'm duly impressed by Joe's professionalism and organization skills - and a little envious. That coupled with professional actors and a great location, and this will be quite a wonderful short film.

Alex

[ZazaCast]

Shucks... thanks Alex! I just want to see some of your great writing come to life. I'm really looking forward this & more in the future.

Cheers-
Za

[Tom Marshall]

Wow, after the talk show, I guess Phil Donahue took a different direction in life... :laugh:

[ZazaCast]

Wow, after the talk show, I guess Phil Donahue took a different direction in life... :laugh:

...looks like he went to pot! :huh:

[Mattykins]

How far are you from Ithaca. If I can lend a hand time wise I might.

[ZazaCast]

How far are you from Ithaca. If I can lend a hand time wise I might.

Ithaca to Albany is about 2.5-3 hours (187 miles). Let me know if you're available on August 27th.

[Mattykins]

Ah crap.

If it was a week earlier I would still be here near Utica which is an hour and a half trip. I am pretty sure I will in class right about then. Sorry man. Wish I could be there.

[ZazaCast]

No worries... thanks anyways! Utica...the armpit of NY...yuck. I have some bad memories in that town.

[Mike Insane]

Great poster. Welcome

[ZazaCast]

Thanks Mike (I have to get over and visit your thread next).

Updates added to 1st & 2nd post....ONWARD!!

[ZazaCast]

...another update.

[Ben Sliker]

hey man, looks like this is shaping up to be a big improvement for you. Looking forward to it!

[ZazaCast]

I'm trying my best! I learned a LOT from the last experience (thank you) and am trying to put it to good use. The bar is so high these days, all us noobs can do is keep hammering away in the hope of getting something right. What is it they say? ...even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then. (I'm looking for nutz!)

[Susanne G.]

Hi ZazaCast,

reading your coments, you seems to me a very nice person, but I have a little bit a problem with the title of one of your films in this fest. I don't want make a negative motivation, but always when I see your thread "An enchanting twist of peccadilloes", I have to think to the film "The enchanted notes of a puppy-love piano". For sure it is the word "enchanting", but also the sound of the whole sentence. I think also that there is probably nothing similar in both films, but in the same time I have always a piano in thoghts seeing your title.
Please don't be worry about my coments, it is only what I feel in a honest way. :)

Susanne

[ZazaCast]

No worries Susanne (I am a nice person :), as are you I'm sure), but you'd have to talk to the writer on that one. I'm just producing the film, Alex Whitmer wrote this one. I did have some input and made a few suggestions here & there...but it really is all Alex.

Have no fear, there are no pianos...or puppies in the film....BUT, I did recruit Tim to light this project. The other film you speak of was his! It never even crossed my mind until you brought it up...too funny.

I must also admit, when I first saw the title of your movie, it made me think of the 1948 film, "The Red Shoes"...as luck would have it, I had just seen it a few weeks earlier... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0040725/trailers-screenplay-vi905511193 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0040725/trailers-screenplay-vi905511193) I'm a sucker for old films, just love them....shot before we had all the bells & whistles to 'fix it in the mix' so to speak.

Maybe we make a change...maybe not...there's still plenty of time left in this fest.

Life can be so strange sometime...:huh:

[Susanne G.]

Oh, sorry - right, Alex's script. I am speaking with the wrong person.
Probably it's only me who has the piano in mind and nobody else. Please don't change the title, because I have this strange sensations. At the end is only important how the film is and not the title.
Funny trailer (The Red Shoes). I didn't know this film, but I have to admit that our title (Red Shoes) isn't really a big invention in the world of film!

Susanne

[ZazaCast]

Oh, sorry - right, Alex's script. I am speaking with the wrong person.
Probably it's only me who has the piano in mind and nobody else. Please don't change the title, because I have this strange sensations. At the end is only important how the film is and not the title.
Funny trailer (The Red Shoes). I didn't know this film, but I have to admit that our title (Red Shoes) isn't really a big invention in the world of film!

Susanne

I just wish YOU were entering another film...there's still time? Come on...join the party! I REALLY enjoyed your last one.:beer:

[Susanne G.]

Very charming motivation. Thank you. Ahh look, your interests are food & women! I share the interest for food with you! :happy:
Ok, I stop making bad jokes. Hhmm, I am just back from a walk with Rufus and Jason in the park. Rufus is our dog. Honestly, on the walk I started to think about a script idea for this fest for the first time. At the moment there is only a direction of an idea and not really a story. If I could manage to develop a story and the film would cost much less than the last one, could be there a little chance to enter in this fest. I will see what I can do in the next days!

[ZazaCast]

Yeah! Just do it...
Now you're stuck and you HAVE to make a movie. I have it in writing!

[Susanne G.]

Not more than 1% chance of 100% :undecided

Sorry, I am very tired now, because it is 4 am in the night and my bed is waiting for me. Good night!

[Tim Joy]

Hi ZazaCast,

reading your coments, you seems to me a very nice person, but I have a little bit a problem with the title of one of your films in this fest. I don't want make a negative motivation, but always when I see your thread "An enchanting twist of peccadilloes", I have to think to the film "The enchanted notes of a puppy-love piano". For sure it is the word "enchanting", but also the sound of the whole sentence. I think also that there is probably nothing similar in both films, but in the same time I have always a piano in thoghts seeing your title.
Please don't be worry about my coments, it is only what I feel in a honest way. :)

Susanne

Thanks Susanne. I'll take that as a compliment. I noticed it too, but chalked it up to just another thing Joe and I have in common. It's almost like fate way calling me to his project....:Drogar-Dum(DBG): OOOOOoooo (scary music)...in a twilightfesty kind of way.

I too vote that you should submit an entry.

[alex whitmer]

Admittedly 'enchanting' is not a common word, but in both film titles, it was the right word to use.

a

[ZazaCast]

Couple of updates.... shoot is next Wednesday...Tick, tick, tick! Please wish us luck.

[alex whitmer]

All body parts that cross, are crossed. Actors are getting together Monday for a read in Central Park!

A

[ZazaCast]

All body parts that cross, are crossed. Actors are getting together Monday for a read in Central Park!

A

SWEET!:beer:

[Susanne G.]

Couple of updates.... shoot is next Wednesday...Tick, tick, tick! Please wish us luck.

Very much luck!!! :)

By the way - I won't enter this time! Sorry - I thought about it for three evenings (thanks for the motivation), but there are too many other things to finish at the moment. It's not the right moment. Also, it is very relaxing to be the audience! :grin:

Susanne

[ZazaCast]

Very much luck!!! :)

By the way - I won't enter this time! Sorry - I thought about it for three evenings (thanks for the motivation), but there are too many other things to finish at the moment. It's not the right moment. Also, it is very relaxing to be the audience! :grin:

Susanne

No worries Susanne... there will be plenty of fests in the future I'm sure! When it stops being fun, it becomes work...and we all have enough work to do these days. Besides, I already see threads asking what the next fest will be.
Best,
-Za

[alex whitmer]

Best of luck tomorrow, Joe.

Sending fuzzies your way!

a

[ZazaCast]

Time for sleep now...Shoot starts at 10:00am. Please standby for BTS picts Thursday.
Thanks for the wishes!

[Tom Marshall]

Good luck, man! :beer:

[ZazaCast]

We survived! It was one hell of a long day, but it looks like we got what we needed. Great cast. Updates in second post....

Cheers! :beer:

[Tim Joy]

It was a fun and smooth shoot. Thanks Joe!

Can't wait to see a cut.....

.....are you done yet?

[ZazaCast]

It was a fun and smooth shoot. Thanks Joe!

Can't wait to see a cut.....

.....are you done yet?

Thanks again Tim...Great Job! I'll be hammering away at this one over the long weekend. Then I have to tweak the script for the other entry... it never ends.

Next time I promise to feed you sooner...on review, I can hear your stomach grumble in a couple takes! D'OUGH!!!

[alex whitmer]

Man does that Phil guy look deliciously out of place. Like, public nuisance meets posh.

Thanks for sharing pics and success story!

aw

[ZazaCast]

Man does that Phil guy look deliciously out of place. Like, public nuisance meets posh.


Oh Yeah....
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1220033104.jpg

I'm going to put up a few raw grabs...no nothing...straight from the capture.
Enjoy...

[alex whitmer]

http://alexwhitmer.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/gise-3.jpg

The best 'stink eye' I've seen in a long time.

[ZazaCast]

http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1220075227.jpg

NICE.....

[Susanne G.]

Good looking grabs - compliments! Did you start with the editing now? Best wishes.

Susanne

[gabrielflorit]

Whoa, very nice lighting. Good-looking cast. They do look like pro actors.

[ZazaCast]

Good looking grabs - compliments! Did you start with the editing now? Best wishes.

Susanne

Yes... I haven't been sleeping much...this one is coming together nicely. The tough part is getting it to 6 minutes....there's so much great stuff! There will have to be a 'Director's Cut' of this one. Thanks for the wishes.


Whoa, very nice lighting. Good-looking cast. They do look like pro actors.

Thanks!
I have to say, they did a GREAT job & the camera loves them all. Tim did a wonderful job lighting this project. Can't wait to help him out with his film and shoot more stuff in the future. (which reminds me, Tim, I owe you some grabs so you can post in the lighting thread. D'OUGH!)

[ZazaCast]

Updates in second post....

Spent the long weekend finishing up the loose ends. Sunday was back at location for one short scene & establishing shots.

Tweaking the rough edit...so I guess you could say it's approaching the final quickly. I'm very pleased with the outcome so far. I also started working with the music.

[ZazaCast]

Stick a fork in it... she's done! (now maybe I can sleep for a few days)

...and on to the second film, "TWISTED"...

[Tom Marshall]

Done? Cool man, congrats! :beer: I can't wait to see what you've come up with...

[alex whitmer]

Awesome!!

What a marathon grind to get it done.

a

[ZazaCast]

Done? Cool man, congrats! :beer: I can't wait to see what you've come up with...

Thanks Tom! ...soon enough...soon enough...


Awesome!!

What a marathon grind to get it done.

a

Alex...I'll have a new version for you to look at in the next day or so! Once again, GREAT story. Thanks for letting me make this one with you. :beer:

[chaconkevin]

wow man your set pics look real interesting
cant wait to see it.

[ZazaCast]

Thanks Chaconkevin! I'm looking forward to yours too.

Here's one last grab....couldn't resist....just too cute!
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1220578647.jpg

[Susanne G.]

I agree - there are very cute!

[One Way PhotoVideo]

does Phil by any chance have a son named Andrew? odd question I know but my friend Andrew Donahue's dad's name is Phil and is in the film industry.

[Dustin R. Rogan]

gratz on putting this in the can!

Rogan

[ZazaCast]

does Phil by any chance have a son named Andrew? odd question I know but my friend Andrew Donahue's dad's name is Phil and is in the film industry.

I'll check... standby....


gratz on putting this in the can!

Rogan

Thanks Dustin! ...and after seeing your Timefest entry, can't wait to see what you have in mind for this one...both of them. (by the by... I love the Slep-Wok title)

[Kyle Stebbins]

congrats on wrapping this one, man! -- love the grab.

[ZazaCast]

Thanks Kyle! I'm really looking forward to your film...

[ZazaCast]

Added a couple frames from the storyboard in the second post....

[Mike Insane]

Dude, seriously, congratz on wraping so early! I'll be burning the midnight oils until the hairy last second. I am very envious of you :)

[ZazaCast]

Don't be too envious....I have a second entry I'm shooting over the next two weekends!
I'll be right there with you.

[pauly_the_hitman]

Digging the updates and the cute screen grab...
Congrats on getting this done...
I can attest to not sleeping much lately, after shooting "Barn Dance" last week and "The Accidental Hitman" this week and two more coming this week..
Damn I must be nuts.
Pauly

[ZazaCast]

Digging the updates and the cute screen grab...
Congrats on getting this done...
I can attest to not sleeping much lately, after shooting "Barn Dance" last week and "The Accidental Hitman" this week and two more coming this week..
Damn I must be nuts.
Pauly

YOU are totally crazy! I see all the films you're involved in...God Bless. The two I'm doing have just about killed me. Barn Dance alone...with the heat and all, damn! AND you're married...you better be good to that woman, she's a keeper.

I also know everything is going to turn out great...you're very talented & surround yourself with equally talented people. Can't wait to see all your films (if I can keep track) and learn. :beer:

[MOVIE MASTER]

Yeah congrats on getting it done

[Simon Höfer]

Congrats for the wrap zasa!

[ZazaCast]

Thanks Simon! ...now I'm hoping to get the second one done.

[ZazaCast]

Sometimes it doesn't pay to get a film done early! Both films are now completed, Locked & ready to upload.

This is going to be a great fest...

[alex whitmer]

Sometimes it doesn't pay to get a film done early! Both films are now completed, Locked & ready to upload.

This is going to be a great fest...

Wow. Just enough time for one more!! You're not thinking of resting, are you?


Congrats on getting two in the can with room to spare. No small accomplishment.


a

[ZazaCast]

Wow. Just enough time for one more!! You're not thinking of resting, are you?


Congrats on getting two in the can with room to spare. No small accomplishment.


a

I guess that's nothing compared to the 20 films you were involved with...LOL!!:)

But damn... I need a rest. It's time to get some yardwork done before we get our first snow.

[Neal Buconjic]

But damn... I need a rest. It's time to get some yardwork done before we get our first snow.

I'm afraid my yard work has also taken a back seat. As you mentioned, the snow is right around the corner... of course my priority right now is completing my fest entry. Only a week left... :eek:

I wish I were in your shoes - ready to click the upload button. Congrats, Zaza!

[Simon Höfer]

Ha, had to brush the leaves here too over the weekend :D

[ZazaCast]

Yeah... it's time to start planning the "Winter" projects! I'm hoping it will be a mellow one...I don't think my back can take too much shoveling this year.

[AJ Brooks]

Nice. The biker guy looks awesome.

Best luck.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Ha, had to brush the leaves here too over the weekend :DHere too! Looks great for Halloween. :beer:

[ZazaCast]

Nice. The biker guy looks awesome.

Best luck.


Yeah... he's quite the character...and a really good actor! This group came up from the city (NYC). Alex Whitmer did a great job, not only writing the film, but casting too. :beer:

[alex whitmer]

Good actors well directed.

All the chemistry was right on the money. Thanks to Joe for trusting my judgment on this one. People he had never met just showed up one day to make a film. Talk about a 'getting to know you' moment !!

a

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Giselle Hyland
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217702896.jpg

She looks like Natalie Portman in the poster.



Phil Donahue
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217702988.jpg

Can't wait to see what this guy is up to in the movie!

[Danielleus]

Nice looking cast. I dig, looks like fun. Looking forward to this one as well. Good luck getting it finished. I wanna seeeeee!!!!!!

[ZazaCast]

I planned ahead and both movies are in the can! ...just waiting to upload tomorrow. This is getting exciting.

[ZazaCast]

Uploaded...and awaiting open viewing!

[alex whitmer]

Excellent!


I'm sending you a cyber handshake! I'd send a cyber brewski, but still working on the technology.


a



http://www.vimeo.com/2031823


http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/album.php?albumid=14




.

[ZazaCast]

Excellent!


I'm sending you a cyber handshake! I'd send a cyber brewski, but still working on the technology.


I wanted to get you at the top of the list!

(now...get to work on that technology...I'm thirsty:beer:)

[Tom Marshall]

Uploaded...and awaiting open viewing!

Wow man, that's awesome. Congrats on getting it done! :beer:

I can't wait to see this one... :)

[alex whitmer]

Giselle Hyland
http://www.dvxuser6.com/uploaded/35446/1217702896.jpg

She looks like Natalie Portman in the poster.


I passed along the comment. She sends her thanks, as Natalie Portman is her favorite actress. You're going to like Giselle's performance in this film.

a








http://www.vimeo.com/2031823


http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/album.php?albumid=14

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

I love Natalie Portman.:love4:

Congrats again on the upload. :thumbup:

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Uploaded?!!! :shocked:

Sweet. Congrats man, looking forward to it. :beer:

[ZazaCast]

I love Natalie Portman.:love4:


...and I'm sure she loves you too (stalker)! :)


Uploaded?!!! :shocked:

Sweet. Congrats man, looking forward to it. :beer:

Yeah... I can't believe I got both films done and just happened to be the first to upload...go figure?:huh:

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

...and I'm sure she loves you too (stalker)! :)

She would if she got to know me!! :huh:


:)

[ZazaCast]

She would if she got to know me!! :huh:


:)

LMAO! Classic...:beer:

[MOVIE MASTER]

sTALKING.. GOODTIMES GOODTIMES i SEE YOU GOT BOTH IN LUCKY STIFF.. ME STIILL WRAPPING IT UP

[alex whitmer]

Still have today and tomorrow. Plenty of time!

a

[ZazaCast]

sTALKING.. GOODTIMES GOODTIMES i SEE YOU GOT BOTH IN LUCKY STIFF.. ME STIILL WRAPPING IT UP

Down to the wire I see....finish these up...I want to see them!:thumbup:

[gabrielflorit]

Hey ZaZa - haven't stopped by in a while. Upstate NY? Where exactly? I lived in Saratoga Springs for a year back in 2005.

[ZazaCast]

Hey ZaZa - haven't stopped by in a while. Upstate NY? Where exactly? I lived in Saratoga Springs for a year back in 2005.

No Shit! Small world... I'm just outside of Albany. Saratoga Springs is about 30 minutes away, "The Summer Place To Be"... I have many friends there.:beer:

[ZazaCast]

Yes! Two for two...approved & ready to view.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Awesome! You are off and running. Hope you do well.

Cheers,

Mike

[ZazaCast]

Awesome! You are off and running. Hope you do well.

Cheers,

Mike

Thank you Michael...and the same to you!:beer:

[Neal Buconjic]

Funny... We meet the running time and have the required element (ball), but it still is a welcome sight to see APPROVED beside the name of your film!

Good luck, Zaza!

[ZazaCast]

Funny... We meet the running time and have the required element (ball), but it still is a welcome sight to see APPROVED beside the name of your film!

Good luck, Zaza!

Yeah...the waiting to watch all these films is killin' me!
Congrats to you too...:beer:

[Brian Parker]

Nice location ZaZaCast. Unique. Great BTS and screen grabs too. I'll definately keep an eye out for this one. Good luck!

[stinkpot]

I can't wait to see this. Your cast looks really interesting.

:beer:

[ZazaCast]

Nice location ZaZaCast. Unique. Great BTS and screen grabs too. I'll definately keep an eye out for this one. Good luck!

Thanks Man... right back at you! I can't wait to start watching.:beer:


I can't wait to see this. Your cast looks really interesting.

:beer:

Cheers!

[Robbie Comeau]

Hey man, nice short.

Although I didn't quite understand the ending, I liked it. Rasputin played a wonderful role and his skill for acting was really professional.

I liked both actors however, I just liked his character better, I guess.

You had some nice shots, although I think I would color grade this a bit differently.

Audio was good in the most part.

Thanks for sharing,

Robbie

[Zim]

Nice film. Great use of Harley Davidsons! Also I like what you did with the ball.

[MrKilloran]

A good film with some great shots, a little unsure as to what was going on in the story as to the relationship between Rasputin and the woman, how were they connected?

Rasputin was a cool character and I think after he pops the ball that little girl is trying so hard not to either laugh or cry.

Nice work.

[stinkpot]

Great use of the ball man! I really like your opening shots for both movies. Like MrKilloran stated, I was kind of unclear on their relationship and how he knew what she did.

Overall, I think this is a cool flick.

:beer:

[Marlon Ladd]

ZaZa, I liked the look of this piece. You had some good shots in here. I did like the crushing of the ball too. The acting in spots could have been better, but I think quicker cuts on some of those might fix the problem on that. In some shots the lighting was good, but a few the lighting could have been a little better only to set the mood. Oh, the older guy's look was classic too. Nice job.

[Richard J. Johnson]

Good flick. I enjoyed that one. Simple, Yet kept me intrigued.

[Mile Bozicevic]

Hm, strange one (in a good sense).

Acting is pulled really good (Rasputin kicked ass here), but the story got me a little confused.
As he said his name was Rasputin, I expected he's going to be killed a couple of times and alays come back to life (as the original, more or less).

Or did you want to say tha Rasputin (the real one) had a bunch of twins?
Or Rasputin is purely accidental here without relations to THE Rasputin?:D

Enyoyed it, but I like Twisted a little bit more than this one. (if only Rasputin appeared in Twisted....:D)

[Noel Evans]

First up cool story. I just dont feel your actors did it complete justice. Actually I thought the very last scene when they where dumping his body was the best acting of the piece.

Visually, I thought the shots were solid, although I felt some lost opportunity to drive the story. The lighting was a tad flat overall. Some sound issues, but not too bad.

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Intriguing movie. I found that the audio needed a bit of some work in spots, maybe a filter pass might help?

I really liked Rasputin.

Loved a lot of the movement in some of your shots. Very smooth.
The shot at 5:23 was awesome!

Nice work.

Mike

[ZazaCast]

Thanks for all the feedback...this is what I look forward to...really is a great help!
Keep it coming...

[Brian Parker]

Hey ZaZa...great short. I have to echo everybody else in saying that I really liked Rasputin...His character really played on his face. Your actress did a good job as well. Loved the shot of Rasputin on the floor dying. Your story kept me intrigued and I think I was able to understand the ending without it being too plain or obvious...very twilighty. Good job!

[galbach]

Very nicely done...

[heccky]

cool video mann

[Mike Insane]

Hey Zazza
First, i like it... interesting story. Right about 4:32 it got good. I especially love the cranes and dollies. Nice movement. I would have loved to get in closer to the actors and maybe see more close ups (cut aways) to break up the long shots of dialogue. Do you record room tone with your audio? It seems like the audio comes in and out with the dialogue. If you don't then grab about 30 seconds of complete silence but with the lights on and the actors in place... then that is the glue that holds the audio together. Anyhow, I dug it man, great job.

[Adam J McKay]

What was it about? I am going to second the room tone as well, and the advice I have been getting about my audio I am going to pass on...levels. I loved the look of the old guy and the film looked nice, but I didn't understand the story.

[Steve Strickland]

I loved the intro of this film. Very cinematic in it's shots and pacing. But when the story moves inside, it all kind of grinded down. I felt like it needed some more set up before the conversation. I dunno, may in the opening montage.

Some minor audio issues aside, I liked your lighting and camerawork. The death scene was really well filmed. I also liked the actor who played Rasputin. He was so good, it seemed to make the other women a little stilted in comparison.

Nice job on this. Now I'm going to check out your other short. :thumbup:

[gabrielflorit]

Great intro music. How did you manage to have the guy kill the ball that easily?

Nice lighting on the dinner scene.

Hahaha, "tough times, you know". Very clever.

There's some great shots here, my favorite one is Rasputin dying and the napkin falling on his face. Great composition.

I like his acting, I didn't like hers. I think she resorted to yelling too much.

I enjoyed this piece, but neither of the characters gave me a chance to like them or care for their plight. I don't know if it's the script or the acting.

[alex whitmer]

I don't know if it's the script or the acting.

I was really pleased with the performances, so I'll put the blame squarely on the writing.

aw

[ConspiracyPenguin]

I liked the lighting in the home scene, it was warm and complimented the time of day. I enjoyed the use of Rasputin, that story is one that has intrigued me for quite some time. The editing a cinematography was decent for the most part. The acting was fairly strong, except when it came to the laughing which appeared forced/kitschy and the zoom in after Rasputin collapses didn't work for me. Also, and this is just a petty thing, I think I would have rather seen the time on a real clock rather than on the screen. On screen text is good if it is used properly and in moderation, but my philosophy is to avoid it if possible. One last critique would be that the shaky camera on the wind chime was distracting (the chime in general did nothing, in my opinion, to add to the story anyway).

In the end, I think it was a fair piece. The story could have used a boost, in my opinion, but it was executed in a decent manner. Good job and good luck! :)

PS: I know it seems like I have nothing good to say, but that doesn't mean the film was bad. I just figure people are better off hearing what DIDN'T work rather than a bunch of compliments on what DID work (although knowing what worked is also important).

---
PENGUIN DISCLAIMER: The Penguin has not read any other reviews before writing his own. Further, any and all criticisms are based solely on the opinion of The Penguin and, thus, may differ from that of other commentators; said comments are provided purely for the constructive use of the filmmaker and can be embraced or ignored at his/her discretion only. Lastly, please be aware that it is NOT penguin season. In fact, it is NEVER penguin season.

[alex whitmer]

I know it seems like I have nothing good to say, but that doesn't mean the film was bad. I just figure people are better off hearing what DIDN'T work rather than a bunch of compliments on what DID work (although knowing what worked is also important)

I would argue knowing what worked and why is just as important as knowing what didn't work, and why.

Feel free to share both sides of the coin. It's how each of us know what to keep, and what to work on for future projects.

aw

[Danielleus]

Hey Zaza,

So, I like the opening shots. I think they are well composed. The editing and sound there is fine. Interesting use of the ball, considering the kids don't show back up in the piece.
I think your opening sets up the Rasputin character a bit tougher than he comes across. Maybe it's just me but heavy-set guy on a bike with a beard like that and all the jewelry on the fingers? I think someone who doesn't care about what others think of him because, frankly, he can kill them.

I just don't think that character comes off as tough in the dialogue. Maybe he wasn't suppossed to be tough, seeing as he got tricked by the woman? Or maybe she was just smarter and tougher? I don't see her painted in that way either. At least not through her actions and dialogue.

The story mainly left me kind of cold. I liked the way the details came out but the dialogue and delivery felt a bit "stagey" to me. Maybe it was just the word choices. I can see why it would be weird to deliver because, for my money, the word choices seemed very unnatural.

Also, I think the poison thing didn't work for me because of your product placement before it occurs. I liked what you tried to do with the celery and the "help" being in on it. I don't think we saw Rasputin drink the drink, so that makes it a hard sell for me.

Overall, I think it was a good effort and looked very nice most of the time. I would have liked more story elements and more of the dialogue to flesh out the story.

My 2 sense.

[ZazaCast]

Also, I think the poison thing didn't work for me because of your product placement before it occurs. I liked what you tried to do with the celery and the "help" being in on it. I don't think we saw Rasputin drink the drink, so that makes it a hard sell for me.


Thanks SO much for watching & commenting... I'm a little beat as it is late & I've now watched ALL the films and commented on 41 of them (the rest tomorrow).

...but I just wanted to address this one comment. If you look closely, once revealed, it's a bottle of Chloroform, not poison. Now if you look back at the dinner scene, you'll see Rasputin repeatedly using his napkin...THAT's what knocks him out (we never really see how they kill him)...because, after all, "Poisoning a man is not as easy as you think Rasputin!":beer:

[Danielleus]

Thanks SO much for watching & commenting... I'm a little beat as it is late & I've now watched ALL the films and commented on 41 of them (the rest tomorrow).

...but I just wanted to address this one comment. If you look closely, once revealed, it's a bottle of Chloroform, not poison. Now if you look back at the dinner scene, you'll see Rasputin repeatedly using his napkin...THAT's what knocks him out (we never really see how they kill him)...because, after all, "Poisoning a man is not as easy as you think Rasputin!":beer:


Damn, you're right. Well done. TOTALLY makes that bet MUCH better. Well done on that front. Yeah, the bottle was all there. My brain was not working. Yours obviously was.

[Bryce A]

Not too sure how I felt about your pic. Twins forever… was quite odd. I liked Phil Donahue in his dual roles. Oh, how I wish to see how the ‘harder’ looking brother was gonna handle those two women folk. My lukewarm reception of the story is purely my opinion, so take it as you will. That said, I think you should keep making whatever you want, but work on the technical aspects a bit. The need for more dynamic lighting was what caught my eye. You clearly have the ambition to go get actors, get locations, and get the thing done! Those are the main elements, the rest will follow.

[ZazaCast]

Damn, you're right. Well done. TOTALLY makes that bet MUCH better. Well done on that front. Yeah, the bottle was all there. My brain was not working. Yours obviously was.

Excellent... but I'm going to have to agree that there's a fine-line between being sly & spoonfeeding the little hints. Thanks AGAIN for helping me become a better filmmaker!:beer:


Not too sure how I felt about your pic. Twins forever… was quite odd. I liked Phil Donahue in his dual roles. Oh, how I wish to see how the ‘harder’ looking brother was gonna handle those two women folk. My lukewarm reception of the story is purely my opinion, so take it as you will. That said, I think you should keep making whatever you want, but work on the technical aspects a bit. The need for more dynamic lighting was what caught my eye. You clearly have the ambition to go get actors, get locations, and get the thing done! Those are the main elements, the rest will follow.

Thanks Bryce... sorry you didn't enjoy the film, but that's going to help me too! I was going for a 'Night Gallery' / 1960's TV feel for this one. I had hoped that the proper language and the rough character would be an interesting contrast, but it looks like I missed my mark for you. This being my second film, I wanted to really work on shoooting conversation. Again, I find it tough to shoot a film and direct at the same time (let alone doing EVERYTHING else too). I'm so thankful that YeeHaaNow was kind enough to help me out..as this film would have been a disaster otherwise....THANK YOU TIM!!

Now I can apply all these comment to my next film...I'm sure the next fest will be announced soon!:)

[mjjason]

I didn't really get this story. I mean I get what happened with the woman and all but I didn't really get who this motorcycle guy was. Was this a reference to the fairytale. If so, then I completely missed the connection. How would he know about her and her husband?

Also, the dialog was a little too on point. Like it was for a book or theatre as opposed to natural speak or film speak.

If it was connected to the fairytale then I need to go back and read that to get the connection.

[alex whitmer]

Few thoughts to help clear the cobwebs.

First clue ...

RASPUTIN
You know, most people wouldn't think that a woman of such delicate size could drag so much dead weight through the the forest.

A few lines later ...

STEPHANIE
Why now? What not five years ago?

Rasputin saw her drag a body through the woods, but kept 'domestic affairs none of his business', until now. That's the realtionship between him and the woman. This is extortion.


Before settling in to write this, I studied a lot of older Twilight Zone and Night Gallery shows. There were any number of things one could pay homage to, including the use of black and white, scratchy film, etc. But what really stuck out in my mind was the language. It was so much more eloquent in those days, as compared to today's knuckle-dragging text-ese. Even the shady characters spoke a prettier English than that used today. Heck, even the film's title makes use of a word - peccadilloes - now long forgotten. I decided to give these characters a more refined speech, and even this is far below what one might hear in a Night Gallery episode.

I'm also a big believer in subtext, and letting 'double intender' dialogue tell parts of the story that cannot be adequately told by visuals alone.

Somehow the combination is flying right over the heads of viewers. All Greek I guess. English used to be such a rich and layered language, and old film made clever use of vocabulary and subtext. Gotta love gorgeous women speaking beautiful words - that as opposed to lighting a cig and saying nothing but 'LOL' after a good spanking!

Please take the time to really watch this film. Much of the story is woven into the language. There are ten days left to go back and watch a number of films, see what may have been missed first time around (and bump this one up to 10 stars, 9 if you still have some reservations.!!!:beer:) I know I'm going to, based on comments by filmmakers in response to comments by viewers. A lot of light has been cast on subtleties I missed, and as a growing writer, those comments on this and all films are gold. In short, I think this theme was a real challenge on story, in a good way.

Also, take the time to comment on what works, not just on what does not. We all learn from both!!

I think Joe did an excellent job taking this from script to film, and I really believe the actors did a great job with the eloquent and subtext language, and the emotions and actions tied to it.

The waitress was purposely kept a low-key character until the very end. Now with two kills under their belt, the future looks bright!

Twins? Lot of interesting studies on them, and how they sense things about their 'other half'.

We look forward to more comments.




http://www2.warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/film/resources/internet/tvwatch.jpg


Join the 'An Enchanting Twist of Peccadilloes' fan club today!!



.

[Bryce A]

...I'm sure the next fest will be announced soon!:)

I'm chomping at the bit too!

[hawaiiirish]

I'm looking forward to viewing your film. Good luck with Twilight Fest.

[Rodney V. Smith]

Started off well, nice shots, establishing the characters. Nice intro and the closeups worked well. Slow reaction on the kids faces that would have been fixed through editing or reshooting the rack focus. Felt that shot was held too long.

Introduction of the biker in the coffee shop was handled a little awkwardly. Felt a closeup as he entered would have been a much better shot. The pacing in this sequence was definitely off and felt more staged than realistic.

This character has some serious rage against vegetables... either that or she's a horrible cook...

Sitting conversations are often so hard to shoot. When characters sit it tends to close off a lot of the angles you can go with. Angling the shots and using a dolly would have worked well on the dining scenes, added a lot more interest.

Interesting story with the blackmail angle. I don't quite get how he dies though since he didn't actually seem to drink or eat. Nice shot of the death though. Freaking awesome angle.

Didn't quite get the spirit thing at the end or the twin connection. That felt a little vague and forced to me.

Over-all, well made and choices for some shots, but performance, pacing and the "sit down and talk" situation limited it to what the film could accomplish.

[heccky]

Interesting!

It is goos to see Rasputin back in action again!!
Congartulations!!

[ZazaCast]

Started off well, nice shots, establishing the characters. Nice intro and the closeups worked well. Slow reaction on the kids faces that would have been fixed through editing or reshooting the rack focus. Felt that shot was held too long.

That's really what I was going for....that long kind of "huh?" thing. Thought the viewer would get a chuckle.


Introduction of the biker in the coffee shop was handled a little awkwardly. Felt a closeup as he entered would have been a much better shot. The pacing in this sequence was definitely off and felt more staged than realistic.

It was a medium close-up OTS...had to get the sly smile on Nan's face and the awkwardness of the introduction.


This character has some serious rage against vegetables... either that or she's a horrible cook...
:huh:


Sitting conversations are often so hard to shoot. When characters sit it tends to close off a lot of the angles you can go with. Angling the shots and using a dolly would have worked well on the dining scenes, added a lot more interest.

There were a few slides in there, but most of the camera movement ended up on the cutting room hard drive. I had built a slider just for this movie. The actors came up from NYC & I just had them for one day...so it was more important to get good solid takes from 3 angles then worry too much about movement. It is what it is.


Interesting story with the blackmail angle. I don't quite get how he dies though since he didn't actually seem to drink or eat. Nice shot of the death though. Freaking awesome angle.

Didn't quite get the spirit thing at the end or the twin connection. That felt a little vague and forced to me.

For these, please see previous posts as it's explained in them... you really have to pay attention to the story...the bottle was revealed to contain Chloroform...it was on his napkin. You never really know HOW they kill him after!


Over-all, well made and choices for some shots, but performance, pacing and the "sit down and talk" situation limited it to what the film could accomplish.

I think I accomplished what I was looking to do....this wasn't an action film. It's all about the dialog & story. Alex did an awesome job writing this script and I feel if it failed...then it's all on me as the director, camera operator, location scout, PA, caterer, grunt, editor, music supervisor and main source of funding.:beer:

[Rodney V. Smith]

I saw the previous postings after I'd made my comments. And I did notice the chloroform :wink:

As a one man show I definitely have to hand it to you. I'm no stranger to that kind of operation... I just make sure beer is supplied. :beer:

[ZazaCast]

I saw the previous postings after I'd made my comments. And I did notice the chloroform :wink:

As a one man show I definitely have to hand it to you. I'm no stranger to that kind of operation... I just make sure beer is supplied. :beer:

I like the way you think! Thanks so much for taking the time to watch & comment on my films!:thumbup:

[Susanne G.]

It must be a good experience to do a second time a fest entry and learn from your own mistakes from the fest before. I miss for myself still this experience. In your case it's nice to see how much better is this one in comparison with your TimeFest entry. The story works very well and your DP-work is quite enjoyable :thumbup:. I like the Santa Claus character :Drogar-Love(DBG):, but the main actress seemed to me a little bit rigid in her acting.

Susanne

[ZazaCast]

Thanks for the comments Susanne. I guess I have to take blame for the 'rigid' acting... but the character is trying to be more proper than she really is...after all, she's a murderess. You see the more natural aspect of her character in the end when disposing of Rasputins body...evil laugh.

I'm looking forward to your next entry...they'll announce the next one any day now!

[alex whitmer]

This is so baffling.

My personal take is that the performances were well matched - Two incongrous characters thrown together for tea and repartee, both with a refined dialogue of days gone.

Certainly one can see the irony!

Phil is the stronger actor with some years under his belt, but Giselle really held her own, especially in the second half. That look as Rasputin is dying is priceless. There are three distinct mood changes in her face.

Actually my fave is in the first part where Rasputin tells her she spent her insurance windfall well, and Giselle has that little turn of the head that just spells pride and fear. Let's see Meg Ryan beat that!

Mandy played a low key figure that would only show her true colors in the end. We don't really take any notice of her until after the kill. That was her job, and she did it well.

Actors want a staring role, and it's a tough calling to play a forgettable character on purpose - like Boo in To Kill A Mockingbird - which launched a brilliant acting career.

Think 'Scent of a Woman' and the restaurant - tango scene with Lieutenant Slade and Donna. All sit-down, clever banter, no guns or exploding cars. Just a good mental wrestling match.

It's all about finesse, and I refuse to resort to zombies.



The story is in the title - one sin begets another, and the cycle continues on into eternity.

A kill here, an extortion there, another kill here, a revenge there ...

Toss in a twin with their mysterious connections, and you really turn things catywumpas.

Anyways, that's my rant. In short I am really proud of all the performances in this film. No doubt you will see them in future fests!



aw

[Maximus]

Good job! I really enjoyed this one.

*SPOILER*



I was hoping the biker would come out victorious, but I guess it's more realistic this way. When will men ever learn? lol.

**

Not too much to critique. I would probably move the camera more, but that's a personal preference....

Just had an idea: It would be interesting to see how other director's would handle the same material. That might be a good idea for the next Fest: Everyone has to use the same script!

Anyway, good work. Look forward to your next one. :beer:

[pauly_the_hitman]

I really loved the story just wasn't too keen on the acting, seemed way over the top on Giselles part, maybe I just didn' see the character develop over the course of time allowed. Mandy however was awesome and I liked her attitude in the end. Phil had an odd acting style which seemed out of place in the story. I don't know I have a huge headache from watching all of these films and trying to be positive as well as constructive. Of course never mean so please don't take it as such. I loved the location and the film was well shot.
Pauly

[ZazaCast]

Good job! I really enjoyed this one.

*SPOILER*



I was hoping the biker would come out victorious, but I guess it's more realistic this way. When will men ever learn? lol.

**

Not too much to critique. I would probably move the camera more, but that's a personal preference....

Just had an idea: It would be interesting to see how other director's would handle the same material. That might be a good idea for the next Fest: Everyone has to use the same script!

Anyway, good work. Look forward to your next one. :beer:

Thanks for the comments & glad you enjoyed the film. I agree with the camera movement part...and there was quite a bit more of it, but the good movement always seemed to end up in the worst acting takes? Go figure... so yes, next time I want to get the actors for more than one day & make sure I get all the movement i originally wanted.:)


I really loved the story just wasn't too keen on the acting, seemed way over the top on Giselles part, maybe I just didn' see the character develop over the course of time allowed. Mandy however was awesome and I liked her attitude in the end. Phil had an odd acting style which seemed out of place in the story. I don't know I have a huge headache from watching all of these films and trying to be positive as well as constructive. Of course never mean so please don't take it as such. I loved the location and the film was well shot.
Pauly

Thanks Pauly... I know that headache feeling...lots to watch here. Please know that I REALLY appreciate your taking the time for my film.:dankk2:

[John LaBonney]

Joey:

I loved the opening sequence, some camera movement and a lot of movement in the shots. Well done.

I found myself longing for some of that movement in the interior shots. The acting in my opinion is so-so, and the conversation seems to be a little forced/out in the open. There might not be anyone else in the inn, but I get the impression that it's a "public room" if you will, and they seem to be discussing their private business a little loudly. I would think they would be a little more discreet with their dialog and the viewer should have to read between the lines a little.

Good shot where Santa passes out. Loved the location and the twist at the end where Santa's brother shows up.

[ZazaCast]

Joey:

I loved the opening sequence, some camera movement and a lot of movement in the shots. Well done.

I found myself longing for some of that movement in the interior shots. The acting in my opinion is so-so, and the conversation seems to be a little forced/out in the open. There might not be anyone else in the inn, but I get the impression that it's a "public room" if you will, and they seem to be discussing their private business a little loudly. I would think they would be a little more discreet with their dialog and the viewer should have to read between the lines a little.

Good shot where Santa passes out. Loved the location and the twist at the end where Santa's brother shows up.

Thanks again John for the comments, they are most helpful!:dankk2:

[Gord.T]

Hey Joe. I thought this was a decent short. It helped tremendously that I understood it. A task in itself, hehe. I liked the story. The ending tied everything up quite nice. I also understood the beginning where it starts with him assuming he's witnessed something bad although I read it threw some people off. Understandable I guess.


Phil Donahue's role was my favorite. The 'Twins for life' tattoo and the look on his face at the end was pretty good also. I don't think he was coming over for dinner, hehe.
I'm curious, was that his real hair in the primary role and he got it cut for the last bit? Or was that prop hair?

No big problems with this one, not that there's no room for improvement ofcourse. Some of the other's acting was off in bits for example.
Overall I enjoyed it. (I still have yet to see your other vid. Working through the zips still.)
Thanks.

[ZazaCast]

Hey Joe. I thought this was a decent short. It helped tremendously that I understood it. A task in itself, hehe. I liked the story. The ending tied everything up quite nice. I also understood the beginning where it starts with him assuming he's witnessed something bad although I read it threw some people off. Understandable I guess.


Phil Donahue's role was my favorite. The 'Twins for life' tattoo and the look on his face was pretty good also. I don't think he was coming over for dinner, hehe.
I'm curious, was that his real hair in the primary role and he got it cut for the last bit? Or was that prop hair?

No big problems with this one, not that there's no room to improvement ofcourse.
Overall I enjoyed it. (I still have yet to see your other vid. Working through the zips still.)
Thanks.

Thanks Raptor....and yes, that's his real hair! He's a wild man (great guy to work with). Glad you understood the story and enjoyed...let me know what you think of TWISTED!:dankk2:

I really appreciate you taking the time to watch.

[Pawel Tomasz Dlugosz]

First of all, I always have a hard time critiquing somebody else’s work, since I don’t have any of my own. But in the end, we all want to be better filmmakers, don’t we? So… here goes.

Rasputin steals the film! His rough look and a touch of kind-heartedness make him every film watcher’s favorite; he’s like Pooh the Bear, who’s been searching for honey 20 years too long. I also like the fact that his name give’s away the fact that he’s most likely going to die at some point.

You really should think about getting him involved in your other projects. He might turn out to be the Morgan Freeman of this century.

As to the other actors, I’m sorry to say but… there’s a lot too wish. They simply don’t match up. The way they deliver the dialogues strips it of its beauty. It hurts to watch.

I really like the beginning, when Rasputin arrives into town and steps on the children’s ball. And although it’s a great scene (beautifully composed and with fine editing) it seems to go against his character. I just don’t see the point in him being mean.

And one more thing, the title is simply magical! But it’s not cut out for this film.

[Horncastle]

I enjoyed the film and there's certainly a marked improvement since Timefest. The opening scenes were good, drawing one into the film and the cinematography and production quality on the whole were pretty good throughout.

I'm afraid the story didn't really work fully for me though. Although Phil Donahue steals the scenes as Rasputin, the character doesn't really come across as someone engaging in extortion - he seems much too gentle and cuddly! He comes across as very natural though so I think the problem lay more with the direction or script. Stephanie's character, on the other hand, seems rather forced. For most of the film they seem to be much more a stuck-up young girl put out by a rather agreeable biker, rather than a murderess and an extortionist engaging in a verbal duel (yes, I've been back through the thread!).

I think this was an ambitious project and certainly a good exercise in dialog, acting and the nuances of directing. Somehow I think you just missed the overall tone of the thing, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. :)

Jason

[Mike Manning]

What up Joe... I finally got around to watching your flicks (and I'm gonna review them both here)..
Both Twisted and AETOP are very similar in their structure - and it also proves to be their biggest flaw. Both films are basically two people taking about something the audience isn't privy to until the very end, where the topic of conversation is finally revealed and used as the "twist ending" or "button."
There's an inherent problem with this technique, and I've been guilty of committing it in the past as well... Your audience loses interest REAL quick when A) they're watching talking heads and B) they don't know what the conversation is about. You can see how that might be a problem...
Another problem also arises...because the dialogue leading up to the reveal is so vague, it's harder for people to retain it. I'll admit, when I watched Twisted, I had to go back a bit and figure out what the Alien thing had to do with all the political stuff the dudes were talking about...
So I guess my advice is, for your next film, try something that is a little more action oriented and try not to rely on dialogue as much. I don't mean action as in 'action movie' action, I just mean let there be a physicality to what drives the story. I have people go places, look for things, overcome obstacles... conflict is key in motivating your story.
Okay, I'm getting preachy here....
ANYWAY... congrats on making a film... TWO films! That's pretty hardcore... and yeah man, keep it up. Learn from these films and perfect your craft!
-M

[ZazaCast]

First of all, I always have a hard time critiquing somebody else’s work, since I don’t have any of my own. But in the end, we all want to be better filmmakers, don’t we? So… here goes.

Rasputin steals the film! His rough look and a touch of kind-heartedness make him every film watcher’s favorite; he’s like Pooh the Bear, who’s been searching for honey 20 years too long. I also like the fact that his name give’s away the fact that he’s most likely going to die at some point.

You really should think about getting him involved in your other projects. He might turn out to be the Morgan Freeman of this century.

As to the other actors, I’m sorry to say but… there’s a lot too wish. They simply don’t match up. The way they deliver the dialogues strips it of its beauty. It hurts to watch.

I really like the beginning, when Rasputin arrives into town and steps on the children’s ball. And although it’s a great scene (beautifully composed and with fine editing) it seems to go against his character. I just don’t see the point in him being mean.

And one more thing, the title is simply magical! But it’s not cut out for this film.

Thanks for the review! I guess the story needs some work in your view? Glad you liked Rasputin, he's a great guy to work with and I do plan on casting him in future productions.:beer:

...now get out there and make a film...so I can return the favor.:dankk2:

[MrFluffy]

I liked this but like Pawel I thought that the ball popping was out of place and some of the dialog was not convincing.

It was enjoyable though. Well done.

[ZazaCast]

I enjoyed the film and there's certainly a marked improvement since Timefest. The opening scenes were good, drawing one into the film and the cinematography and production quality on the whole were pretty good throughout.

I'm afraid the story didn't really work fully for me though. Although Phil Donahue steals the scenes as Rasputin, the character doesn't really come across as someone engaging in extortion - he seems much too gentle and cuddly! He comes across as very natural though so I think the problem lay more with the direction or script. Stephanie's character, on the other hand, seems rather forced. For most of the film they seem to be much more a stuck-up young girl put out by a rather agreeable biker, rather than a murderess and an extortionist engaging in a verbal duel (yes, I've been back through the thread!).

I think this was an ambitious project and certainly a good exercise in dialog, acting and the nuances of directing. Somehow I think you just missed the overall tone of the thing, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. :)

Jason

Thanks for the comments...these will be most helpful!

[ZazaCast]

What up Joe... I finally got around to watching your flicks (and I'm gonna review them both here)..
Both Twisted and AETOP are very similar in their structure - and it also proves to be their biggest flaw. Both films are basically two people taking about something the audience isn't privy to until the very end, where the topic of conversation is finally revealed and used as the "twist ending" or "button."
There's an inherent problem with this technique, and I've been guilty of committing it in the past as well... Your audience loses interest REAL quick when A) they're watching talking heads and B) they don't know what the conversation is about. You can see how that might be a problem...
Another problem also arises...because the dialogue leading up to the reveal is so vague, it's harder for people to retain it. I'll admit, when I watched Twisted, I had to go back a bit and figure out what the Alien thing had to do with all the political stuff the dudes were talking about...
So I guess my advice is, for your next film, try something that is a little more action oriented and try not to rely on dialogue as much. I don't mean action as in 'action movie' action, I just mean let there be a physicality to what drives the story. I have people go places, look for things, overcome obstacles... conflict is key in motivating your story.
Okay, I'm getting preachy here....
ANYWAY... congrats on making a film... TWO films! That's pretty hardcore... and yeah man, keep it up. Learn from these films and perfect your craft!
-M

Excellent...thanks for the comments, these are great to have. Both of these films were an exercise in shooting a conversation, as you noticed, but very different in style. I have to agree and disagree with some of your comments at the same time. As another viewer stated, it seems there's a fine line between being sly & spoon-feeding the plot to the viewer. I personally enjoy the intellectual side...I like to figure things out on my own..and that was the idea, so I guess I was successful there.

I remember watching "Memento" for the first time...and the second time...and the third, forth & fifth times until I could understand what the hell was going on! THAT's my kind of movie. Action is good...if it fits the film (and I'm sure to explore that soon), but action just for the sake of action? I guess that's the beauty of all the different styles of movie making around here. What might work for one director, doesn't for another.

Can't wait to hear what the next fest will be so I can put all of these great comments & observations to good use. Thank you for watching & taking the time to critique the films! Cheers:beer:

[Ben Sliker]

Carrying on the tradition from Timefest, the AIM sessions have returned, a live stream of whatever may come out of our heads as we watch your films. Here are Ben Sliker, Brad Mate, and Justin Kuhn's thoughts on "An Enchanting twist of Peccadilloes."

Since for some reason, since we couldn't get Adium, AIM and iChat to all agree with each in one chat room, we had to go to an online chat room for the 3-person chats. After almost being molested by a forty year old man in a chat room for "privates" (ben read private chat), we managed to hop on to the chatzy client, which worked well. Note: Never search "free chat" in google and expect what you are looking for.

Ben: FROM THE DIRECTOR THAT BROUGHT YOU TWISTED
Ben: rdy?
Kuhn: ready
Jebus: yep
Ben: 3
Ben: 2
Ben: 1
Ben: go
Jebus: again with the titles
Jebus: PHIL DONAHUE?!
Ben: what a dickhole.
Kuhn: they didn't really react to the ball being squished
Kuhn: why'd you let this guy in your house
Kuhn: oh it's a resturaunt.
Ben: this is like 10x better than twisted already.
Jebus: yes
Ben: awful eyeline.
Jebus: the women are a little stiff.
Kuhn: I wanna cast this guy in Serial Santa
Ben: GET AWAY FROM ME FREAKAZOID.
Ben: let's tone down the rhetoric there zaza
Ben: PEOPLE DONT TALK LIKE THIS...
Jebus: no kidding
Kuhn: two more plates of biscotti please.
Ben: i think these people know each other
Jebus: this is all im seeing between the acting and the script "we're reading lines right now"
Ben: SANTA LIKES BOOBIES
Jebus: lol
Kuhn: who doesn't
Kuhn: here comes santa claus right down santa cluas lane
Ben: can we just serial kill this guy?
Jebus: poisoning is pretty easy actually...
Ben: tell that to romeo
Jebus: good job retard
Ben: SANTAS GOING DOWN
Kuhn: his milk and cookie gave him food poisoning
Jebus: .....
Ben: ok ... so there was some stuff that happened ...and then santa died.
Jebus: ....
Kuhn: and then he has a twin
Kuhn: an evil twin or was he the evil one?
Ben: who both ride harleys to deliver presents
Ben: just for clarity
Kuhn: spastic.
Jebus: i like how he's smart enough to switch plates but he doesnt switch glasses. that makes sense...cuase people dont poison by drink.....cause that isnt the most obvious way of doing it....
Ben: he was blackmailing her cause he knew she killed her husband ... but is blackmail was that he wanted dinner ...the exact way she killed her hubby ...
Jebus: i would have gone with money...
Ben: that's cause you are old school
Ben: food is the new crack
Ben: and mcdonald's the dealer
Jebus: how was the chloroform bottle a big reveal?
Jebus: i dont get why thats such a shocker
Kuhn: I missed it
Ben: yeah ... why would they knock him out after poisoning him to death?
Jebus: i'd love to know why he titled it that way. great title...had nothing to do with the film
Ben: unless they just used it as the poison
Jebus: what would the peccadilloes be in this film?
Jebus: they used it as the poison
Jebus: i think a double murder is a bit more than a peccadillo
Jebus: so is blackmailing
Ben: lol
Jebus: so again i ask...where's the peccadilloes
Ben: cause "an enchanting twist of heinous murdering bitch" didn't have the same ring to it.
Ben: that's all i got ...
Ben: final thoughts?
Jebus: where are these slight sins or faults?!
Jebus: thats my final thought
Kuhn: little confusing.
Jebus: acting stiff, dialog a bit unrealistic
Kuhn: had promise initially though
Ben: ok den

We liked this one more than "Twisted", the production value was higher in our minds and the story made a bit more sense (other than our obvious gripes). It's part of the director's job to make sure that the viewer can believe what they are seeing on screen, and the delivery of lines is a big part of that. That's my challenge for you next time, I'd like to see an engaging and realistic conversation between two people. DO IT! GO ZAZA GO!

Like I said in your other thread, keep it up, there haven't been many multiple entries in the history of DVXuser fests, that alone should be applauded. :beer:

[alex whitmer]

Ben: PEOPLE DONT TALK LIKE THIS...


Writer's mistake ...

People used to talk like that, as seen/heard in the old TZ and Night Gallery episodes. Seems folks remember the B&W, the weird angles and lighting, but not the more eloquent English of the times.

Gone and forgotten, I guess. Lol.




aw

[Susanne G.]

Hi ZaZa,

I want mention one thing about you. You receive criticism from all direction very well and you have a honest and self-confident reaction to it. It is a pleasure to see that and you also give to the audience a possitive feeling that it is welcome to give new comments on your thread in the future. For this, it seems to me that you are a open person, so you probably will learn and have already learned quickly a lot about filmmaking! It is very nice to see that. :)

Susanne

[Neal Buconjic]

Hey Zaza,

I really like the assortment of clips leading up to Rasputin's arrival at the Inn. Nice flow with the edit and I enjoyed the colors (the yellow Inn, the banner, greenery, etc).

I felt the handheld look of the shot of the wind chimes seemed out of place versus the "sticks" look elsewhere.

The levels on some of the female lead's dialogue get a little hot, like when she says "You put one hand on me and I'll take your b*lls off, mister!"

When Rasputin was dying, I liked your choice of camera angle. It added a level of tension to the moment.

Nice job! Can't believe you pulled off two shorts with time to spare!

[ZazaCast]

Hi ZaZa,

I want mention one thing about you. You receive criticism from all direction very well and you have a honest and self-confident reaction to it. It is a pleasure to see that and you also give to the audience a possitive feeling that it is welcome to give new comments on your thread in the future. For this, it seems to me that you are a open person, so you probably will learn and have already learned quickly a lot about filmmaking! It is very nice to see that. :)

Susanne

Awww shucks... thank you SO much Susanne. That is such a nice thing to say. I guess I'm just one of those likable guys!:beer: After raising two daughters, nothing here could ever shock me.

(I get the feeling you're the same type of person)
"May the most that you could wish for be the least that you receive!":)

Best always,
-Za

[Dick Campbell]

interesting story and done well technically except for some color shifting between cuts. thought the dialog was bit ploddy, especially early on. not predictable tho.

[Tom Marshall]

Hey Zaza, I like Twisted better. This one had a lot of potential, but the actors (mainly the female lead) were hard for me to watch. I tend to mainly focus on performance and am almost incapable of telling you whether or not a story even makes sense... (I'm only semi-joking...)

The male lead was slightly over the top, but his character was interesting. Almost like some sort of a saint, really. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for or not, but that's how it came across.

[ZazaCast]

Hey Zaza, I like Twisted better. This one had a lot of potential, but the actors (mainly the female lead) were hard for me to watch. I tend to mainly focus on performance and am almost incapable of telling you whether or not a story even makes sense... (I'm only semi-joking...)

The male lead was slightly over the top, but his character was interesting. Almost like some sort of a saint, really. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for or not, but that's how it came across.

Hey, thanks Tom... I take all comments in stride. Perhaps Alex should comment on the story? Alex...Oh Alex....

[alex whitmer]

TOM
I tend to mainly focus on performance and am almost incapable of telling you whether or not a story even makes sense.

ZAZA
Perhaps Alex should comment on the story? Alex...Oh Alex....

ALEX
The story makes sense. :thumbup:


Speaking of Twilight Zone ... meet Capatin Kirk before he joined the star fleet. Oh, and note the English of the time. Pre-Zombie. Pre Gameboy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrJ7T1cuSRM

And for a real good dose of English as spoken when these episodes were originally broadcast ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WudBfRa0ETw

Maybe note the performances as well. I think Giselle did a splendid job in the context of this film and theme. A little forced. A little staged. Like old TZ episodes.

Brilliant!!


.

[ZazaCast]

Thank you Alex...I agree... it makes sense!

[Tom Marshall]

I wasn't saying it didn't make sense. I was just saying that my only real focus of anything is on the performances. That's the case with anything I watch, really. :)

[thetvirus513]

I liked the film and definitely respect the fact that you had two for the fest. I do think that you could have gotten a better performance out of the lead woman, it just didn't flow as well as it could have. I like when Rasputin popped the ball though HAHA good job !

[ZazaCast]

I liked the film and definitely respect the fact that you had two for the fest. I do think that you could have gotten a better performance out of the lead woman, it just didn't flow as well as it could have. I like when Rasputin popped the ball though HAHA good job !

Again... thanks for viewing & commenting... this is most helpful information. I feel bad for Giselle because she really nailed the role. I take full responsibility for any problems people are seeing...just bad directing, as I wasn't able to convey the irony of the characters in this one.

Another lesson learned...that's why these reviews are so important to me.
Thanks again!:thumbup:

[Tom Marshall]

No, it's not bad directing. Your directing was fine. :)

[ZazaCast]

No, it's not bad directing. Your directing was fine. :)

I don't know Tom... it's tough shooting & directing at the same time...and ultimately, the final outcome rests squarely on my shoulders. This being only my second film, I think I made leaps & bounds over the first...but it's apparent there's a long road ahead in making a really good short.

Thanks again for the support! YOU the man.:dankk2:

[alex whitmer]

I am so baffled why Giselle's performance didn't resonate with viewers. I thought it was spot on, and would not hesitate a second to use her again - any role, any film.

This is a Twilight Zone fest, after all, so I'll just chalk it up to the unexpalinable.

I remain her #1 fan.

aw

[ZazaCast]

I remain her #1 fan.

aw

#2 right here!

[Tim Joy]

Hey, Just realized I haven't given my review here- Might be slightly biased because I worked on it, but here it goes-

LOVED THE LIGHTING! WHO DID THAT? I WANT THAT GUY ON MY NEXT FILM!!!!! :Drogar-Evil(DBG)::Drogar-Evil(DBG):

Seriously though, the lighting that I like the best is when you have the overhead shot of Rasputin knocked out on the floor. The other stuff I lit with the intention that you would grade it down more in post, and now it looks a tad flat as others have said, so I'll have to get more on the same page next time, and work on my lighting. I would still like to see what the results of that would look like to increase the contrast. Maybe after the fest is over?

****** SPOILERS WITHIN********

Alex- When I read the script, my take was that Giselle's character was more refined and devious, especially with her reactions to Rasputin's entrance and his blackmail thing. I felt like it was too angry and over-the-top. Another thing that was in the script, but didn't really come through in the movie was her attitude in the dinner scene. In the script, you wrote, "beads of sweat down her face.." after they switch plates and she starts eating. It makes you think that she has poisoned herself, hence the line, "there's a white dress I'd like to be buried in...". The way she plays it now, she's so confident that it doesn't come across that way, for me at least.

I thought also in the script there was a SloMo shot of the napkin, which is very important to understand how he gets knocked out, it's not from the wine as everyone thinks, and a big shot of the napkin flying or CU, then cut to the kitchen with the reveal of the bottle would've made that clearer.

I think the difficulty with this piece was to get all of the acting beats into 6-minutes, and seeing as it was really your first "dialog driven" movie really, I think you did a great job.

Nice music and the little demon rising at the end.

The ball pop is awesome. Cinema Magic.
Three cheers! :beer::beer::beer:

[Jack Daniel Stanley]

Hey I emjoyed this. Supernatural justice for crimes committed out of greed is a staple of this subgere back to the original Tales From the Crypt Comics. Very cool.

dig the fast upward crane at the top

small tech note: need to ease the audio in and out around the first motorcycle shot, the second time is OK because the only thing that punches in is the engine, this time crickets and everthing punch in - it's a bit jarring

bit more of a reaction from the kids for smashing their ball?

The editing in scene one, particularly at the table is quite nice. The back and forth, when you cut, when you capture their reactions.

The dialogue in the first scene seems to not match the environment. The dialogue is very formal. This dialogue is for James Bond in a 5 star restaurant, not a regular middle class woman in a country cute restaurant. Today, in this setting "A man with manner's waits for an invitation to be seated", is "What the hell do you think you're doing" or "Get the hell away from me".

Now - the dialogue is very well done and consistent. It just does not fit the art direction or casting IMHO.

One thing to consider when telling a far fetched tale that we're supposed to take as fairly real - the more you can ground it in reality the better. Of course you can go really far the opposite way and make the whole thing fantasy and then anything goes, but this kind of "something's not quite right suspense twist tale" usually strives for life likeness which makes the story seem more plausible and more strange - just a thought.

Again very well written dialogue, but does not fit her character or his on the surface, though obviously he could get away with much more, you can take much more license with him.

Might have been cool to have her talk like us and him be all fancy for example.

Waitress too is way to formal. in this kind of place in this day and age she'd just say "oh you're over there now, here you go" as opposed to "will the gentlemen be joining you" which they might say in a place with a dresscode that's very fancy, but not here.

WAIT: I don't understand - is she living in a hotel?, or is this meant to read as her house with a servant? does not look like a house, and you'd have to give us something more to get that she's living in a hotel. Does not play as a stately mansion if that's what you are going for.

I can see more in the 2nd scene that you were going with a kind of Cruella Divel thing with her, a high society lady that would regard a motorcyle dude with disdain. But I think she's too young and her hair would need to be up or more "done" to sell the dialogue. I just don't buy her as old money riding around in a rolls, mostly due to her age, art direction, and young natural hairstyle. She'd need a cigarette holder and a muff to fit her to the dialogue.

I know it's tough. Finding the art direction and locations you'd need for what I think you wanted to do could be very hard. I think you could have done a rewrite and kept the story and it would have been much more authentic - felt more real and engaging. For example, it could have been cool to see this play out in a trailer park with white trash murdering over a $50K insurance policy. Rasputin's appearance would have been interesting in that context too.

While the disparity in what I was seeing and hearing kept me from getting fully engrossed, I nonetheless found the story engaging.

Thanks very much.

:beer:

[Gohanto]

I think Jack just said a lot of what I was thinking but definitely explained it a lot better than I could. Interesting characters, I liked her line at the end about the dress upstairs. The "twins forever" didn't really work for me though, kinda cheesy but a good attempt to avoid the cliche a lot of short films have of leaving the audience hanging after killing the main character with a twist at the very end.

[ZazaCast]

Hey I emjoyed this. Supernatural justice for crimes committed out of greed is a staple of this subgere back to the original Tales From the Crypt Comics. Very cool.

dig the fast upward crane at the top

Thanks Jack for watching & commenting...this is really appreciated!


small tech note: need to ease the audio in and out around the first motorcycle shot, the second time is OK because the only thing that punches in is the engine, this time crickets and everthing punch in - it's a bit jarring

I actually wanted to jar the viewer...here you are the nice country Inn B&B...Boom, in comes the biker, cutting through the crickets...


bit more of a reaction from the kids for smashing their ball?
Subtle goes a long way. The kids really don't know what to make of this weird guy invading their space.


The editing in scene one, particularly at the table is quite nice. The back and forth, when you cut, when you capture their reactions.

The dialogue in the first scene seems to not match the environment. The dialogue is very formal. This dialogue is for James Bond in a 5 star restaurant, not a regular middle class woman in a country cute restaurant. Today, in this setting "A man with manner's waits for an invitation to be seated", is "What the hell do you think you're doing" or "Get the hell away from me".

Now - the dialogue is very well done and consistent. It just does not fit the art direction or casting IMHO.

One thing to consider when telling a far fetched tale that we're supposed to take as fairly real - the more you can ground it in reality the better. Of course you can go really far the opposite way and make the whole thing fantasy and then anything goes, but this kind of "something's not quite right suspense twist tale" usually strives for life likeness which makes the story seem more plausible and more strange - just a thought.

Again very well written dialogue, but does not fit her character or his on the surface, though obviously he could get away with much more, you can take much more license with him.

Might have been cool to have her talk like us and him be all fancy for example.

Waitress too is way to formal. in this kind of place in this day and age she'd just say "oh you're over there now, here you go" as opposed to "will the gentlemen be joining you" which they might say in a place with a dresscode that's very fancy, but not here.

This is all great stuff...thanks again. I'll be applying it to my next film!


WAIT: I don't understand - is she living in a hotel?, or is this meant to read as her house with a servant? does not look like a house, and you'd have to give us something more to get that she's living in a hotel. Does not play as a stately mansion if that's what you are going for.
It's a country B&B (Inn) Stephanie bought with the insurance money she got from her husbands death (murder...we discover).


I can see more in the 2nd scene that you were going with a kind of Cruella Divel thing with her, a high society lady that would regard a motorcyle dude with disdain. But I think she's too young and her hair would need to be up or more "done" to sell the dialogue. I just don't buy her as old money riding around in a rolls, mostly due to her age, art direction, and young natural hairstyle. She'd need a cigarette holder and a muff to fit her to the dialogue.

I know it's tough. Finding the art direction and locations you'd need for what I think you wanted to do could be very hard. I think you could have done a rewrite and kept the story and it would have been much more authentic - felt more real and engaging. For example, it could have been cool to see this play out in a trailer park with white trash murdering over a $50K insurance policy. Rasputin's appearance would have been interesting in that context too.

While the disparity in what I was seeing and hearing kept me from getting fully engrossed, I nonetheless found the story engaging.

Thanks very much.

:beer:

Again...thank you for the complete review. I consider these comments gold!:dankk2:

[ZazaCast]

I think Jack just said a lot of what I was thinking but definitely explained it a lot better than I could. Interesting characters, I liked her line at the end about the dress upstairs. The "twins forever" didn't really work for me though, kinda cheesy but a good attempt to avoid the cliche a lot of short films have of leaving the audience hanging after killing the main character with a twist at the very end.

Thanks for the comments...and sorry about the 'cheese', It's the best I could do in a pinch. Live & learn is what I always say and this is a big learning experience for me...thanks again.:beer:

[Blaine]

You have come a long way from the last fest. You still have a way to go but if you continue progressing as you have this fest, it shouldn't be too long before you begin competing with the elite films in the fest.

Both of your films had what I would consider coherent stories, which I can't say about your TimeFest entry. You next step needs to address the level of acting you are receiving. It's passable now, but to take the next step, you need to ratchet it up. Next, work and then rework the dialogue. I found several instances in both films where I was pulled out of the story because of the dialogue. In places it came off as written prose rather than spoken dialogue.

All in all, you are one of the most improved in this fest. Good going...:thumbsup:

[ZazaCast]

You have come a long way from the last fest. You still have a way to go but if you continue progressing as you have this fest, it shouldn't be too long before you begin competing with the elite films in the fest.

Both of your films had what I would consider coherent stories, which I can't say about your TimeFest entry. You next step needs to address the level of acting you are receiving. It's passable now, but to take the next step, you need to ratchet it up. Next, work and then rework the dialogue. I found several instances in both films where I was pulled out of the story because of the dialogue. In places it came off as written prose rather than spoken dialogue.

All in all, you are one of the most improved in this fest. Good going...:thumbsup:

Thank you Blaine... I really value your opinions and appreciate you taking the time to review the films! :beer:

[ZazaCast]

If anyone is sitting around...stuffed with turkey and all the fixin's...and is bored with the football games...please take a moment to watch and comment on this film.

I would consider it a personal favor.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[bucklawrence]

Late to the game, but just saw the film, and it is an intriguing blend of mystery and drama. The death was a bit abrupt, but 6 minutes won't wait. Overall very satisfying. Thanks.

[ZazaCast]

Late to the game, but just saw the film, and it is an intriguing blend of mystery and drama. The death was a bit abrupt, but 6 minutes won't wait. Overall very satisfying. Thanks.

Thanks for watching & commenting! :shocked: